WHY (ranting)

Sometimes I asked why
To what's given to one side.
Night is its best friend.

One of my friends in Bali sent me a bad news, his house was burnt down. Almost all was gone. He and his family needed help immediately. He, his wife and all family members are such hard workers and never complain but this really hit them to the core.

Sometimes I question why life is unfair to those underprivileged. This question was started even when I was little.

I am born not to a wealthy family but my parents are not poor, they are treated pretty well by life. But my childhood was surrounded by hose underprivileged.

My father was a nurse, my mother was a midwife. After they got married, they were assigned to a remote district famous of teakwood forestry. No doctor at that time was there so my father was appointed as the head of the local health center. He became the people’s primary support– imagine he and my mother had to take care of the whole district days and nights when needed by the people. Not exaggerating, it was very normal for them to wake up at midnight, rode the motorbike to where the mother having labor or any emergency issue almost every day. They never complained.

My parents were not paid always with money. When old movies told stories about people paying the healthcare using agriculture produce or live chicken or whatever they have, I saw it with my own eyes. It was also not an issue when my parents didn’t get paid; the poor families who could not pay my parents’ service would become our good friends, they show their brotherhood in the form of friendliness and light help (that my parents would pay).

I saw how my parents served life with their generosity and respect. My father always told us the children to respect underprivileged people as we do privileged people. I remember my best friend (Rosi) was the daughter of the head of education office in the district: while she lived lavishly (consequently with very limited friends including me), I lived decently with abundance of friendship and access to many places. That was why Rosi liked to tag along me to enjoy how people could be so generous with what they didn’t have such as giving me the best fruit from the tree, their family speciality food, showing me the family heirloom like keris, gemstones or any others.

Growing more mature (moving to another city), I didn’t see too many poor but my parents taught me how to choose friends by minimizing us to gather with those with “risky parents”, those upper class in the city whose money was questionable (corruption, money laundering & the like). And I truly saw it as good boundary. Unfortunately those from upper class were not those too nice; they were either pretty/handsome but stupid or popular and stupid. So there was no way for me to like to hang out with most of them. Only very few of them were either kind (still stupid) or a bit intelligent and didn’t want to get along with the rest of their pack in the other side. Yes, I was always against the snob.

However, one of my siblings liked to get along with the snob; and that’s why I can never get along with that one sibling well even until now. 😁 That sibling knows well I don’t like the vibe when we both are in the same room yet we still gather as biologically we are family. 😁

Whatever decision in my life will always with one question: with this decision, will I make the underprivileged suffer? If yes, I will usually avoid the action. Most friends around me are those helping people, advocating injustice, serving the community, working in fields that will take people and environment as service basis, and the like.

Now I still hold my words that I won’t give up being kind as much as I can. I’ve tried to be less selfless though after I was cheated many times by people when I lived around Jakarta. Jakarta gave me rather bad taste in my mouth.

I’ve been cheated from hundreds of millions (rupiah, not dollars 😁) to tens of millions to just one million to ten, to gold to whatever I thought would help those friends. What made me upset was even those religious or spiritual also cheated. Gosh! How draining life is with those thinking “money is everything”.

So lucky I moved to a city where I don’t have to “trade” my trust in doubt, here in Singapore I work in a workplace where people are respected based on merit system, not socio-economic status; I befriend with both those having money and those not having so much without being afraid of getting cheated as law is clear and firm.

When I start liking something or someone from my own country, I will think twice if what/whom I like will be a potential of fake kindness or fake wisdom because that was what I’ve seen in (mostly) Jakarta.

Yes, I dislike many people from upper class in Indonesia because most of them are either corrupt or manipulative. I haven’t really seen those I’ve met who are clean and fair.

And very often until this age I question

Why the underprivileged should suffer more?

Why are the privileged still craving for money?

When will our country be granted good leaders who really take care of the people and the environment instead of their own folks?

I remember my friend who is now trying to find a home for his family because his house was burnt down. I remember others who will lose their education if we don’t help because to get scholarship is not easy even for intelligent youngsters (because the scholarship will be given to those with connection). I remember many around me and sometimes I can only sigh (today with some tears shed).

Sometimes I’m so tired of seeing injustice in my beloved country. Until when?