Life Is Buying Time

Life is eternal.
Strand of dimensions through time
Bargained with good deeds
Also sins. How long? You guess.
Till creation’s obsolete?

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September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.

How can I get older yet be more stupid?

There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎

Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….

The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.

Salam….

there’s another life at the end of the journey

Jealous Angel?

Do you want to know,
Beloved? He’s an Angel,
Outcasted. Fallen
Of jealousy, arrogance.
So is your pride, Beloved?

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I was sitting on my bike checking the left side of AirPods that was not well connected and so lost the audio when someone stopped by and asked,”Are you lost? What way are you trying to find?”

“Oh no, no, no. I’m checking my audio.”

“Oh, I thought you’re lost ha… See map or what haha”

“No, no. Thank you, thank you, Uncle!”

His question “are you lost” reminded me to one who used to live in an exquisitely designed place called heaven and because of losing one’s clear thinking, one was outcasted. One became incompatible with one’s original position.

Who is that one? Those who read religious history of human creation might know, yet I’m not interested to think of the individual. One’s characters, actions and the implication become more relevant to ponder in my situation at that time.

And it calmed me down.

Sometimes losing pride is so significant to a human being. Sometimes failure to show one’s dignity or ability becomes the core of the day. Others’ perception has overridden the real importance of a success itself, or an action. In that situation someone can turn into a jealous, arrogant, irrational who thinks of two: fight or flight, while one should simply stay calm and collected.

Underestimation or humiliation if accepted positively might be simply inability to perceive what is or misunderstanding of self love. In short only those without knowledge and love will underestimate or humiliate others.

Why should I be upset? What a waste!

I don’t want to outcast my own self from the beauty of being a human being just because of forgetting who this person really is. Forget about jobs or credentials; both are not significant when alone meeting with one’s self.

I don’t want to ignore what’s happening inside just because of my own or others’ perceptions. Let them say I’m low; I’m not low although I’m never high. Let them say I’m nothing; I’m not nothing although I’m nobody. Let them say I’m meaningless; I’m not meaningless although I don’t mean to be the most meaningful of all.

Oh Lord, thanks for sending me an old wise man to show the other side of a coin.

Thanks for making me a human being so I won’t live forever outcasted in arrogance and jealousy.

Dear, Arrogance. Dear, Jealousy. Although not forever, you are still living here now comfortably. Be tamed for me.

Stop As You Wish

Ahead or behind?
Life isn’t racing, but game
Chasing each other—
Enjoy! There’s no finish line.
You rest whenever you want.

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Isn’t it fun to enjoy life like enjoying a game which happy children do? We run. We laugh. We scream. We forget about sadness and anxiety. No one forces us to do it. We can slip in the circle whenever we want and take a break when getting tired.

Today’s chat was a bit serious, about how hard it is to be genuinely ourselves in the middle of many who try to find what’s not us. My good friend said that some people have experienced so much or so many lies that they can’t take honesty anymore. They can only accept lies. I agree with her in some way; I’ve met some of that type.

This type of people will always try to investigate who you are even after you disclose who you truly are. An auditor should do that because it is a profession, but a friend should not do that because friendship is based on trust.

I’m lucky to have trusted some of good friends in life and they have trusted me for the same reason. The reason is enjoying life as a game in true friendship, not in competition.

May all beings be happy.

No Secret

Secret, Beloved
Ice cube waiting for warm touch—
Melts and flows: a stream
Of messages from the heart.
Read or heard of. Clean and clear—

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No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.

Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.

Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.

As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.

May all beings be happy.

that year, when a cold caught a cold

What Is Your Coordinate?

Quadrant, Beloved,
Where x and y cut a plane;
I’m the origin
Seeing you around, confused
And confusing. Layered self—

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The conversation with little brother this evening has reminded me that I’ve probably fallen in love with someone from an unfriendly quadrant— the one whose abscissa and ordinate are not well defined.

So, stand on the origin or be an origin, the zero-point-zero point. Simply will stand here and see the quadrant where my focus now is going. By standing on the pole, I’m zero, being objective about myself and anyone around me, balanced seeing negative positive, observing above below, not judging, just seeing the facts!

It feels like walking a tightrope. Balancing my observation, being honest to my own self. At the end of this rope, I’ll see his true quadrant.

I see a rabbit in you. Hope no snake comes out from you. Oops, oops! A chicken? Or a bull? 😁

No, no I wish at least I can see you unmasked. Whatever you are and so I can embark peacefully. 😋

May all beings be happy.

what an equation love is! I won’t let it unsolved anymore.

Orchids Bring Hope

Orchid, Beloved,
Surprises day with new stems.
More colours to be;
A gift from Mother Nature,
A greeting from Father Time—

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Just learnt that my orchids are happier with rain water. There has been much rain recently that hampered jogging and biking schedule; yet now I see the rain has invited more colours and beauty.

The time of those orchids’ blossom isn’t predictable; they often surprise me when the buds stem is already prominent. My sight is really getting older that often time I don’t see when the stem is in its early stage; or they are just hidden in common green.

The plants in this tiny home have always been a consolation every now and then. Both the ones in the balcony and those in the bathroom’s bay window are best friends to this person. 💝

Thank you!

the shorter stem might have been there for at least one week but I just realised it two days ago 💝

You Is The Limit

Freedom, Beloved
Is gauging limitation.
How low can you go?
How high can you fly? How long?
Life’s integrated limits.

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There is always the next level of things. Perfection? Some say yes. Some say it is freedom, up to self, don’t care about others, want more, and everything.

No one can stop one except one’s self.

Is the end the limit? Not sure; yet it must be sun and moon the cycles integrate.

Beloved, if you allow, let me just be better than my own self before. Nothing more, nothing less.

May all beings be happy. 💝

thanks for the sugar; how many people mustn’t have sugar and I’m still free to consume it – isn’t it a blessing? 💝

Sleeping Is Farming Dreams

Night blankets sweet dreams,
Lullabies and keeps them safe
Until morning comes
To reap every grain dreams yield.
Dreams, soar high and come back true.

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Dream sweet and wake up true.

May all beings now be peacefully sleepy…. 😊

dream as sweet as jasmine

Journey of A Friendship Is To Know Yourself

Time runs, Beloved
Not flies. Its feet touch the ground,
Planting you deeply
To the journey. Feel the pace,
Beloved. The end is good.

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Today’s video call with 6 best friends was at least 2 hours of stupidity in the brink of wisdom.

The talk of health of some of us and overall healthcare in our country has become both joke and contemplation.

One of us said that as a father of two he doesn’t want to be selfish thinking about his health too much. He wants to give the best to his children and if he has to leave them forever, his family won’t suffer of having too little. This oldest of all of us is always the funniest yet the wisest.

One of us said that whatever medical complaints she has, she wants to handle them now. She said she’d better know the diseases how much ever bad they are and do possible treatments soon rather than later when she is older. What a good anticipation!

Another said that he still enjoys everything freely. He called while chewing donuts with heavy chocolate and sugar toppings! What a joy!

Most of us don’t have serious medical issues except that the pandemic in the country is more happening that fear of it is more deadly than the virus itself.

Blahblahblah and hahaha continued when we talked about religions. Those who are religious made fun of us who are “not clear”. And we teased them who are “too clear-cut”.

Fun 2+ hours! Mood booster to welcome another week!

Hope we are all completing everything well.

Take care, crazy good friends! You’re blessed.

Sure we’ll still meet again in a better time! So sure!

💝

just-put-them-in leucadendron and pink striped daisy is ready to welcome the productive week 😎

Story of Today’s Rain

Indeed, Beloved
Whatever’s left by the rain
Is good memory.
Each water droplet saves it;
Plays its melody sweetly.

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I wish I could read your mind, borrow some of the words and insert them into a unique story.

An everlasting wish….

💝

after rain

Nuts!

Nuts ‘bout you she is,
Doesn’t mind if you know not.
Beautifully wrapped
By the hard shell from nature;
Sweetly tasted in silence—

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Life is uniquely designed to be experienced differently to taste the same reality. This sweet is that sweet and it is called sweet….

….with spectrum of sweetness spread from zero to infinity

Is that?

a ramekin of nuts – crunchy, sweet, hard-shelled, softly-textured

A Tree, A Friend

Dear tree, wait for her.
She’s caught up but will come back
To give you big hug.
Not that you miss her hugging.
It’s she missing your stillness.

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Some friends are so loyal that they still touch your heart even without talking to you.

Thanks to a friend from a distance for her humble wisdom every now and then, for inspiring me silently….

a friend happily inspires one’s friends silently 🙏🏼

Scenery, A Beauty That Prisons

Where are you, oh dear?
Mountains and oceans are passed
By with beauty glued
As memory. Beloved,
Where’s the next stop? Peek a boo!

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When I was young; I joined spiritual workshop, class, training; read spiritual books, journal, articles; listened to spiritual preaching, cassettes, radio programs; name more —mostly informal, some non-formal, one formal not finished oh I’m blessed that It wasn’t. Whenever I was asked why I did, I would say “I wanna know God.”

Hopeless popus!*

Has anyone experienced this looking-sophisticated-but-actually-comical thing? Thanks God (s/he’d like to be censored actually) I’m not alone in this zero to zigzagging journey— from being very excitedly curious to being a drunken master. 🤪

What a blessed journey it was!
If I’m supposed to tell that young me when starting through the reading of those looking-sophisticated-yet-actually-comical random materials, I would say “Hey, Lady Haha! You should have a map but a destination is paramount!”

And I still feel so blessed!

May all haha moments be deciphered. 😊

* refer to the video of “How To Dad” in “How To Teach A Kid Curse Words”.

a pinch of salt to my life, no pepper though

Millions of Dreams

Where to go? Let’s go!
River never knows but flows.
This is estuary,
Beloved, sea welcomes you.
Black to blue is true. Slow down....

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One of my best friends is flying to Bali this morning. She’ll live in her most favourite island for how long only Heaven knows.

We knew she has dreamt of living in Ubud without knowing how to materialise it as she’s a full time employee in Jakarta and her job requires her to sit in front of her computer for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Bali was just a holiday or weekend escapade that helps refresh before going back to the busy metropolis.

We had a 3-hour call last night, celebrating her flight to her paradise! She’s happy. I’m happy for her.

How can I not believe that this pandemic is a blessing? It has moved someone’s cubicle to her living room then to her mother’s home, and soon to a beautiful place where dreams have lingered for Heaven knows how long. I can imagine how serene and fun her productivity will be!

May all beings be happy.

You’re A River

Flow, Beloved. Flow.
Be a river whose stream knows
Its gravity. Yours
Is me? Making it flow back
To where a home is. Within—

A river is a river only when the stream is moving to a point of a pulling force. Don’t  get stuck or blocked because that is when you lose your being as a river.

Find the tiniest gap and flow….

Never getting bored of it 💞

Shifting Culture

You look perfect, Love
Mechanically living.
I can’t reach you, Love.
You’re deadly cold snow— heartless
Pushing me farther away.

Some work of art is precisely designed, formulated and worked by robot. Accuracy, precision, flawless

Some is beautifully designed, measured and worked by living artist whose movement is built through heart and soul. Relatively beautiful with direct human touch

Each prefers one with some price

A robot carving accurately on the door panel
An artist carving Jepara style design on the door panel

Some human beings are so mechanical, they don’t know how to respond others humanely. They simply see things through a flow chart. Hope that this group extinct soon.

May all beings be happy.

Life As Cycled

When you reach the shore,
Let the sand pull you into
Everlasting pores,
Put life to start once again.
Life stories of wave and wind

How will you be back to shore after being brought back to sea….

….every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, birthday, death, life….

….Repeatedly?

Is Life A…?

An old man’s waiting
For the sun to rise. He moans
At the moon. “Dark night,
Pull away. You block me from
Beauty.” — Life’s a mentalist.

Who is the true beauty? The moon or the sun? Debatable! It’s a matter of played tricks of layered lights— light upon light with darkness in between. How would it be not cozy hiding under a cool calm night while patiently welcoming morning? How would it be not fun playing in a warm radiant day while cheerfully welcoming dusk?

Ah…. Why should one be getting old while constantly denying what is….

Salaam….