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When Mind Is Set Free – haiku

When mind is set free,
I want to live forever
As long as with you.

Singapore – long weekend of Deepavali Day 2019

King of Swords and Queen of Swords turned to King of Wands and Queen of Wands after stumbled by The Tower. From icy cold to passionately loving characters

Amazing! Ramblin Mike’s cards were open so “coincidently” magical. But I believe nothing is coincident.

End of this long weekend has got a nice closure of a bitter wound that gradually turns into a sweet journey, even if having to wait for an unknown shadow of a you. Just with a zodiac reading — that I used to underestimate :-p

Lesson learnt: Don’t underestimate a small talk, it can change a cold heart and angry mind of Maleficent into a warm heart and liberating mind of Nala of The Lion King.

Useful links: My Lion King and Maleficent

Wanna see Ramblin Mike’s zodiac reading? Enjoy.

 

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Dear My Beloved – prayer

My Beloved,
please spare me love that heals each other,
that nurtures each other,
that liberates each other,
that expands each other,
that respects each other,
that supports each other,
that is truthful and faithful to each other,
that is true and sweet to each other.

My Beloved, and so be it.


 

Prayer in a Deepavali long weekend in Singapore – 2019

rumi-o-beloved-where-is-the-beloved-quote-on-storemypic-143df

Thank you for the picture, O Beloved

No Need To Tell Them – haiku

No need to tell them
That your heart bleeds dry of Love.
Theirs might have bled, too.

 

Here now with myself


Sometimes we cry in the dark alone because of repeated broken heart. Sometimes you just wanna leave, run somewhere where no hurt can be felt. Don’t! Just stay!

And don’t blame on others that you think have broken your heart. No. The heart is yours to embrace, to love, to fix, to regrow…. You can do it. Don’t tell them how suffering you are because they might suffer at the same level, or even worse.

Just pray…
That we all will value the Love better and never break any heart anymore,
Especially our own heart.

Salaam for all of you who love your heart. Take care.

The link below is where I borrow the picture from, it is a very beautiful writing about heart. The Most Beautiful Heart

https://madamsabi.wordpress.com/2014/08/24/the-most-beautiful-heart/

wpid-heart-made-of-hearts

One of My Days Was Doomed By Zodiac Reading (ranting)

Have you ever listened to zodiac reading in Youtube?

I did.
Some time ago my friend and I came across to an idea to see if the readings of our zodiacs (Virgo and Cancer) were accurate against the actual situations. Moreover, she was curious if her love life was on the right path.

“I think your zodiac won’t agree with that Aries guy!” I said that knowing that the Aries guy was too good to be true – someone that you know…. handsome, successful, rich, loved by many (daydreaming) ladies (but in my perspective –so sorry to say– that that kind of man can be the most manipulative).

“Don’t frustrate your friend.” She snapped me sharply. Ahem!

We searched the topic using smart key words and chose zodiac readers with more than 100,000 subscribers. We assumed that the more subscribers someone has, the more trust that reader gets from his/her viewers.

We found many readers in Youtube. They have wide range of styles, accuracies, clarity, excitement and approach. Some are very detailed – imagine someone is reading your zodiac for more than one hour without pay! (I mean paid they get paid through AdSense, not you). Some are very stingy – only 6 minutes and called it “general reading”. Some are very sexy look and busier showing their sex appeal than reading integrity; some are sloppy, like just getting up from the bed and dragged by the reading schedules. Some are very brilliant speakers – this is a bit dangerous because they can just flip the fact to sound sweeter to you; some are blunt or use too many fillers in their speech like “uummm”, “errr”, “like”, etc. Some are very knowledgeable, while some are not more than making your ass hotter and want to hit the antagonist in the reading. Some are young, some are old. Most of them are female — this is not discrimination but yes, the male readers sound like female to me except the one in a cowboy style named Ramblin Mike.

No, no. I am not talking about the readers. I want to talk about the reading, that unluckily was very rarely on both of our sides. We felt that we were doomed because of having “wrong” zodiacs.

  • One reader said that my friend was offered a love by a Virgo. Friend: It should be by an Aries. (-)
  • One reader said my friend would give good response to a Sagittarius. Friend: She was so excited. Me: But hey, he is not a Sag. He is an Aries! (-)
  • One reader said that I was unfaithful. Me: Goddamn! She said Virgo is unfaithful?! I never cheat anyone in my relationship! I’d been cheated! (-)
  • Some readers said that my friend was getting a very good job promotion; while actually she was in a tension with her boss. Friend: Nonsense! (-)
  • One reader said that I was going to get a very good appreciation from the company. Me: Resonated! Thanks God! (reality: I hadn’t even had a performance review yet.) (+)
  • Some readers said that time was fluid and so the reading points could happen in the past, present and future…. Us: Ummm (?)
  • One reader (my favorite, maybe because he is a Virgo and always takes a side of Virgo) made us rock on laughter “Oh God, he is even deceitful in his fantasy”. Me: So cute! (+)
  • Some readers said that they heard words coming to them as divine message. Us: Really? Teach us how. (+)
  • One reader said that she heard the word “Disney” intuitively and she said that my love story would be like Disney’s love story. Me: Rubbish!, Friend: Don’t say rubbish, just pray. Me (again): Rubbish! (-)
  • One reader said that my friend’s love would come by end of this year. Friend: Yay! (+)
  • Another reader said that my friend’s love would come later, maybe mid of next year. Me: Hahaha (-) Friend: What?! (-)
  • Some readers said at the beginning of the reading that the card energy was so good, then when opening other cards they would say that the card’s energy shifted so fast and said that it was so negative. Us: Inconsistent! (-)

We cursed most of the time because many things didn’t reflect our situations.

And, what finally broke our laughter was when one reader said “…. Oh, your person really loves you and this person is willing to die for you blahblahblah…. But if you don’t have the same situation, this person might deal with one more Virgo and you are the antagonist one.”

Both of us: “Change reader! Hahaha….!”

Please don’t get me wrong. I respect all those readers. They have trained themselves to read either using tarot cards, oracle cards, intuition, rune, etc. I am sure some of them took advanced courses and some of them have been truly gifted spiritually. Some of them claimed that they have read for more than 20 years, with credentials that I didn’t even imagine before I found this thing in Youtube. My point is that general reading can be misleading and no one should take it for granted.

If you really want to be read through, find a trusted reader and do personal/private reading where the reader can access your energy specifically and directly. And he or she shall be good, intuitive, trustworthy and reliable reader. Clear and authentic. Genuine and sincere. High integrity and mature 

Life sometimes can feel so good when the zodiac reading is positive; even if it is not true. Damn right! :-))

Ah…. I might take a course to be an excellent reader someday so that I can read good things for everyone and make them happy…. 🙂

Singapore – October 12, 2019 / 12:25am

veggie-infographic-final-2

I’m grateful for the picture to: https://blog.hellofresh.com/the-zodiac-signs-spring-veggies/

The Guesthouse – (poem by Rumi)

The Guesthouse

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.


This poem was one of those discussed in the Self Discovery course I enrolled in Scotland.

So hard and torturing for my empty head that always craves for intelligence.
So intense for my empty heart that always craves for drama.
So beautiful when we read and contemplated it collectively in the classroom.
So enriching~
Awakening the sleeping giant in the corner of my Soul.

And I was so amazed that part of the poem is recited in one of songs of my favourite band Coldplay entitled “Kaleidoscope”. Enjoy!

Thank you, Rumi for waking me up with your words loaded with divine love.

The Foggy Windows – haiku

The foggy windows
Frame my morning’s first view.
It’s amazing day.

Temasek – October 3, 2019 / 21:07

My windows facing the reservoir have been glorious frames of all my morning views when I’m not away from home. No matter what mood fills my emotion, the windows welcome me with the same stillness. They are good friends with haze, rain, sun, wind while standing before me nicely with protection. Whether it is a bright day or a gloomy one, they are always successful to drag me to look out to and beyond them and say “Thanks, Life for the amazing day.”

A day without gratitude is like heart without its beat

May all beings be happy….

img_0373

Eros Shot A Heart – haiku

Eros shot a heart–

Unperceivedly wounded. Lo!

Aura’s given up.

Temasek – September 30, 2019 / 18:50


Discussed about Eros myth with my friends and found that his story evolved over time. At the early time he was just god of love and lust for everyone – EACH & EVERY ONE. Then he became the god the protector of gay male lovers. Kind of disappointing why he was changed orientation. The facts that he is a beautiful reality and we women shall not compete with more lovers from different sex are bitter, painful and kind of betraying. The competitive population added has made the chance of women’s victory drop to a very small part of pie.

Should I curse? No, I might be cursed back as discriminating.

Should I cherish? No way! I wouldn’t cherish a fact even the one I can take lessons from.

Eros, you are responsible for this. Hand me your bow and arrow. I’ll burn them before you continue your job. Oh, I probably shall flashback and kill Chaos, too. One more thing: and never let all men be born….

Koi Swim Happily – haiku

Koi swim happily.
A dreamer thinks hard just to
Hop on Yin and Yang.

Ubud – September 28, 2019 / 14:30


I am in Ubud, Bali this weekend. I met a friend who is always wise and fun. Among all she said there was one hitting me hard yet nicely “Dear, try one thing now: change your lunch every day. You’ve got the same things for years and you need to have some fun.”

Holy smoke!!! Yes! I’ve gotta leave my rice and try some mashed potato.

Welcome me, Macs Cafe….

img_5292

What Do You Regret? – haiku

What do you regret?
Nothing but being young yet
Not free, not curious–

Singapore – September 26, 2019 / 22:10

—-

Remembering my friend’s message, regretting some of her being naughty and too free. I said jokingly “My past was too clean and I regret it ahahaha….”

Dear, Friend. Life is too short to regret. What can we do but embracing what we have with love and awareness?

I’m grateful.

End Of Holiday – haiku

End of holiday:

I must go home. I don’t know

Why it feels so good.

London – September 21, 2019 / 08:38

—-

I’m flying back to Singapore this evening. I didn’t know why I shed tears just to imagine opening the door of my home. Maybe because there will be many chores after left for so long 🤪 Plus work, work, work. Still I’m happy!

Heart to Handle- haiku

Count to a hundred.
See if heart silences, or
Drags you to market.

Temasek – August 26, 2019 / 14:49


My heart has been so annoying (not annoyed ya) recently. It brought me all troubles that had been tamed before. It unleashed all possible cries and shouts that will not only make the heart but also head crowded like a market.

Water wets you.

Fire burns you.

Wind blows you.

Earth buries you.

Maybe I’ve gotta play metal to my own self so it cages me safe in locked safe.

But no….

Dear Beautiful Soul, let go off all distrust. Friendship isn’t always about keeping secret but it is also about accepting a bad label because some secrets are jocularly consumable for public.

Dear Beautiful Self, forgive yourself for entrusting your honest secret to someone you don’t really know. It is a lesson that it is ok to be vulnerable. It is fine to be imperfect. It is nice to be angry when necessary. All is fine…. And forgive those that won’t have locked tongues for any reason.

Everything is ok.

You just take a break and fly across the sea.

Singapore to KL soon…. 👩🏽‍💻🎶

Masquerade – ranting

Life is about masquerading.
How well she acts under a mask determines what the crowds will give her.
Whether she is crying under a smiling mask, it doesn’t matter. What matters is her body languages correspond with the smiles in the mask.

Her cry in the heart will not resonate whatever frequency is spread through the air ‘coz the crowds don’t read the heart. They see the mask and they are wearing masks, too.

Dear, Mask.
How are you?
Are you happy there?
Or, do you need some touch-up of colors?
Let me do it.
I can put mascara, blush-on, eye-shadow, eyelashes or more colors on your lips.
Your smiles shall not fade away.
Otherwise, the crowds will be disappointed and go away.

Dear, Mask.
Do you know how I am?
I am crying for how long you are suffering to look good all the time.
Sobbing when you have to laugh out loud celebrating how grand the victory is.
Weeping to see the mask running low with sweat, tired of grinning at how splendid love looks.
You seem so young but I know you are weathered.
Don’t you want to take a break?

……

But hold on, Mask.
Hold on a second.
Let me think it over.
Let me reckon what I just said to you.
No, no, no.
Do you need to listen to what I said?
Yes, you should.
But should you change?
No!
It is a big no-no.

I am happy that I am here for you.
I am what I am as you are what you are.
I am your shadow, where you can hide for a while.
I am your sanctuary, where you can take shelter.
I am your bin, where you want to dump all your hazardous wastes of make-up.
I am your Lover.
I can be your Beloved, too.

Dear, Mask.
Be a good mask.
Play the best acting as you can.
If life is a joke, let yourself be the greatest Joker.
When life orders pretension, be the greatest Pretender.
You take the best Role in this Life,
With me beyond your Play.

evening-of-hope-feature

Dear, Mask.
Just don’t forget that….
There is the Playwright.
Never ever take action without His bloody instruction.

Dear, Mask….
“Camera! Action!”

Singapore – August 11, 2019 / 10:45pm

Picture borrowed from https://myvancity.ca/2016/01/14/evening-of-hope-gala/

Weeping Ney – free verse

Ney….
Your song pulled me down in to the depth of abyss
Gliding with no weight,
Free falling –

Ney….
Your tone touched me on the hollow emptiness
Craving for sensations,
Crashing on nothingness.

Ney….
Your call dragged me along the path that I know well, yet
I am lonely and blind,
Waiting for a map.

Ney….
Do you know I’ve been here all my life,
My breath,
My step,
My tear,
My despair,
All of mine.

Ney….
You are the breeze that sweeps my draught
Then soars;
The dewdrop that breaks my morning
Then wakes up;
The spark that lights up my flame
Then burns.
The dirt that buries my hope
Then grows.

Ney….
It is you
That swirls like earth spiraled upwards by tornado,
And travels afar before it hits the door of heaven.

Ney….
I am taking your hands.
Your weeping cries will always accompany my journey
To you, Ney.

Phnom Pehn – August 2, 2019 – 22:45

Dear Water – haiku

If I can hold you,
In the dark – your clear, fresh flow…
May I? Dear, Water.

 

Temasek – April 13, 2019 – 11:15pm

green-canyon

Picture borrowed from https://phinemo.com/20-destinasi-wisata-di-indonesia-yang-sebaiknya-kamu-kunjungi-sebelum-menikah/green-canyon/

New Year’s Resolution – serious ranting

My home is near the MRT railway, every five minutes two 6-car trains will go to both directions. And, today they do their routine of life. But there is something different, like they know it is almost 2019 and want to celebrate the year exchange.

The trains sound more merrier.

And the vehicles in the crossroad just down floors below run like no energy is lacking or no drowsiness greets the drivers.

Around where I live there are a lot of trees that I hope won’t be cut down for long years to come. I love them as they are the ones making my breath lighter and healthier. And tonight I feel they send out purer air to me.

And there is a reservoir that is cleaned daily by the boatmen on the blue boats. It still looks dark at night but the water reflection is clearer and more magnificent.

All do more magic tonight…. Because it is new year tomorrow. And I am infected by their spirit of best performance of now here and so I want to be in the harmony with Nature now here and next year.

I might not be able to get a mentor that I expected but I will make myself the best mentor for myself to be more professional – clarity on what I do, purity on what I intend. I might not be the best of all but I will make myself the best version of me – committed and true. I might not get everything I wish but I will make myself to get what’s the best I deserve.

Tonight I welcome 2019 at home looking at my plants in the small balcony, going back and forth the fridge to get cool water – I don’t drink beer fyi, seeing all the passers by, enjoying the dogs’ smell from the one living under my balcony. The air, water, cloud, unseen sky, shy rain, greenery in the black black new year’s eve, all people celebrating far away with the fireworks, all the animals with shelters or without, all the blessed life under the sun, and all

To you I wish a….

…. Happy New Year 2019! The best is welcoming you.

I know next year is mine, too.

Temasek – December 31, 2019 – 11:18pm

 

IMG_3670

Caged Bird – free verse

My father had a black starling.
It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood.
We hoped it could talk.

Our family moved
To a much smaller home.
Our starling got neglected
How much I can feel the guilty is like a teary moment to a bloody heart!

The black starling got a home
Bigger:
My mother’s relative.

It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood, half we gave to it.
We hoped it could talk.

If you are dead, dear Black Starling,
Be in a peaceful moment.
Fly with your beautiful wings, black and shiny!
Feed your life with all the fresh memories.
Forget all the cages and bars.
Be the air
Be the vapour
Be the atmosphere
Be our silent guidance to the freedom out of this cage.

Thank you for your will to be our prisoner
Thank you for your sincerity to be our exhibition
Thank you for your sacrifice to feed our ego
Thank you for your life to complete our purity.

See you across the bridge.
You’ve met him, right?
Tell him you forgive us.

Yours truly,

Me

Shanghai – Dec. 15, 2018 – 12:05 noon is here

img_1737

Pause

It’s been quite long I haven’t posted anything in this site. Too busy? Or not able to manage the time? Oh my goodness, how life lasts long yet runs so fast that it rolls in like a useless scroll.

Alas!
What will I give to Life?
Nothing?
Ya, nothing as I have nothing.
Yet, I still do things with my nothing.

Life,
Please guide me through my nothingness to the Light at the end of the scroll.

No, not at the end. It is along the scroll…

Glad to be here again….

The Estuary, Temasek – Nov. 30, 2018 – 9:47pm

cropped-img_07341-31.jpg

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