You don’t know what love is
Until….
Even when I have lost love that yet never dies, I still don’t know what love is….
And so I’m blessed for not knowing what love is.
🥰
Tag Archives: love
Smile – my mood
With just a smile
You’ll change every single of your day into a joy!
May all beings be happy….
Gemintang (Stars) – my mood
Stubborn emotion, stubborn feeling
Just see it come and go,
Don’t take it as a burden,
As long as the stars are there,
Just relax….
🥰
What Is New Normal? – haiku
What is new normal?
A set of taboos maybe
Or ancient practice—
Singapore – May 1, 2020 / 20:00
—
I feel an acceptable level of my new normals after two months of flexible work arrangement and no business trip. I wake up almost at the same time everyday – in my old normal I woke up in different time almost everyday because either of my flight, the pick up time or time zones.
I did my groceries very rarely; now regularly and enjoyably! Oh my god, I feel like going picnic in fact just going to either wet market or to Cold Storage 😁
I used to cook only at the weekend or holiday – sometimes not even because I would prefer going to my home country for short trips to meet my family and friends; now I cook literally every single day and I love it!
I did my laundry sometimes if it wasn’t done at the hotel; but now I handwash my clothes twice a week – big fabric like towels and bedsheet will still be thrown to washing machine.
I used to wear casual or sometimes dress for work; now I wear pyjamas, rompers or even just underwear when working as long as there is no conference call for the day!
And my plants have become happier – blooming orchids and growing rhizomes. 🥰
If these are new normals, would it be my normal even after the outbreak is cured? Might not all be….
I wish I have a better life after this circuit breaker and can keep some of the good and enjoyable things as my forever normal.
May all beings be happy.
Have You Seen A Saint? – haiku
Have you seen a saint
Walking on earth with no sin?
Yes? What a non sense!
Singapore – Apr. 23, 2020 / 00:30
—-
No saint—
There is never a saint.
What there is
Is someone whose soul is awakened,
Whose life is eaten away by humanity
Whose heart is shining
Through it.
At least those are saints I believe having lived in human form.
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
Buds Are Coming Out – haiku
Buds are coming out.
Orchids bloom when they’re loved. Ah!
Best fertiliser?
Singapore – April 13, 2020 / 18:40
—
Once more my orchids are producing bud stems.Yay!
I believe they are happy seeing me who greets and talks to them everyday now. Once I thought talking or singing to plants was a madness but now I think it is a medicine for madness.
Try it and you’ll find those plants happier by showing you more vibes, flowers or fruits and yourself happier for knowing that you still have friends offline during this remote work.
I wish my orchids get happier and happier and so do I.
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
Half Of Me Is Back – haiku
Half of me is back.
What has gone can return by
A state of boredom.
Singapore – April 9, 2020 / 23:03
—
After becoming someone working behind a computer with so little care of household chores, now I’ve found the old me that is almost forgotten. A gem under piles of river stones kind of–
Since this flexible working arrangement I’ve got much more time staying at home with myself and seeing what are interestingly interesting to be done. Not only cooking that’s usually done at the weekend and cleaning the house that’s usually done by a regular cleaner, now I also happily do all my laundry. What’s so special about that?
Hey! For someone like me doing household chores is not only special, it is fantastically incredible! What’s more? I don’t use my washing machine. I HANDWASH ALL MY LAUNDRY!
Why so stupid oops diligent?
Oh, Love…. The handwashing has kept me sane and happy and excited twice in a week. Imagine I will soak the clothes in detergent (note that mine is environment friendly) for some time -I’ll wait patiently- then I will rub off the pieces of clothes one by one -no brush please, it destroys the fabric- trying to clean the folds and joints and the special surfaces -you know what I mean- then rinse them several times with clean water -not only once, I do it up to four times!- then hang or line them to dry. All is by my dear two hands that mostly only dance on keyboards and keypads!!! With love….
I believe this writing will be one of the most historical turning points in life when I flashback reading this blog years later (if still alive)…. 🥰
I am in love with the half of me that’s almost forgotten. I hope I can keep it intact forever.
But handwashing forever? Maybe not…. 😄
Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay sane.
May all beings be happy…. 🙏🏼
Song of The Day – my mood
While working from home
You need a real break. This song
Rocks. It’s a Pop though.
😊
Working from home can be fun when it is once in a while. But no office interaction, no traveling, sitting at home in front of your machine for one full month takes not only love to your job as life dedication but also high self discipline that you can only earn with rigorous training. And this time I still need a booster. Music has worked wonder for the past one week especially this song.
Either YouTube or Music in my iPhone has been a real tool to cheer me up. And Rizky Febian, this young talent has made either of them magic!
Today I played this song I don’t know how many times – Heaven knows. If the singer had to sing live, he must have lost his voice and bored to die! 😁
Thanks for making me realise that only love can make me stay with everything — love to people, love to humanity, love to lifelong learning, love to be my own self….
May all beings be happy! 🙏💕
Please Stay Calm, Humans – haiku
Please stay calm, humans.
This state of fear might extend.
Hey! It has an end.
Singapore – March 13, 2020 / 21:00
—-
In current situation I find some real nature of human beings and how they cope with a stressful situation. Some glue themselves to their selfishness by excessively buying stocks of logistics in the name of saving for rainy days, some rant and nag as if whatever the Govt have done is never enough, some keep being as crazy as if nothing happens, some others keep calm, some others become calmer, some others are afraid to death, etc….
So what?
Everyone copes with stress in different way. I don’t blame them for doing what they have done. However, I prefer pushing my happiness to an extreme level. I’m happy and thankful that I’m still healthy and active now. I prefer smiling to as many colleagues/neighbours/passers-by or at least not looking so bitter, being kind to as many people as I can; and most importantly letting myself feel that however worst a situation outside of me will be, I can always go within and find peace and calmness here….
God bless all of us.
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
They Prefer Dying – haiku
They prefer dying
To living with a big heart
Full of guilt and love?
Singapore – March 7, 2020 / 16:00
—-
One of my good friends called me yesterday ranting why I should put unnecessary personal risk by allowing myself to continue business trip to one particular country during this COVID-19 outbreak, while others decided to drop their trips there.
“Rijk, you’re just a statistic. If you die, hundreds will fight for this hot seat. And life goes on without you because you are just a bit of trillions of forgotten memories.”
“I just feel I’m very healthy and I’m gonna be fine.”
“One last reminder: a rose will only be remembered when it dies.”
“You are scaring me? You mean I will die because of the virus?”
“Yes, in a way that you should not be a fool today just to avoid busy end of year. You never know what’s going on. That country will never disclose the real situation. Look! Historically their ancestors preferred ending their life in an irresponsible escapade entitled as honoured suicide to making peace with their own life. They can’t bear guilt or shame. Hey, Rijk remember they might not be able to bear love. So better think twice about your adoration to anything or anyone from that country. Hahahaha….!”
Bloody cold-hearted friend!!!
My head shakes. Should I cancel all my trips to that country?
My heart stands still. I will be fine and I’m going.
May all beings be happy…. 🙏🏼
None Is Left Behind – haiku
None is left behind.
Humans, animals are saved—
Humanity served.
Here now, in my silent heart
—
Flood is everywhere in my beloved country (Indonesia) and rescuers are the physically busiest of all. The good things are getting better, not only humans but also animals are rescued. There shan’t be any to be left behind even those they call non human. Those that you love in your good time shall receive the same care in your bad time no matter who or what they are….
God bless all rescue units who have worked hard soaked in the flood to carry babies, children, women, old people and others underprivileged including animals pet or cattle. God bless them.
Anyone is functioned differently. Some are active on the field, some financing, some fixing the root causes, some whispering to the Universe to save all of us.
Sending love, prayer and whatever aid I can…. 💝
Incineration – haiku for 2020
Incineration
Is open, ready to burn
Rubbish. All is well.
Singapore – December 31, 2019 / 20:40
—
New year again? 😼
Although a year is just an agreed cycle, it has always directed a human being (me) to (nervously) plan things – end of year feels like a Management System practice for me: reviewing all the goal, action, gap, errors, plan adjustment, take away and self-scolding of why-this-why-not-that. Of course I’ve failed in many corners and turns every single year. Umm…. It doesn’t matter, lovely Self. 😘
And taps on my shoulders are enough to celebrate some success. 😘
Learning from my stupidity, I decided to make 2020 an incineration. A central waste plant to destroy each and every memory and/or situation that doesn’t serve my journey anymore. Decluttering!
I have a long virtual list of those needing to be burnt! One of them could be YOU! 😁
Thank you, 2019 for the ride and lessons. You are loved, you are remembered. Rest In Peace.
Happy New Year 2020! Welcome, this new Self!
Health, Love, Stock Price!
I wish you are all blessed through your own blessings.
….. One more: God bless all animal rescuers on earth! 💝
Church – Coldplay
[Verse 1]
What can I tell you?
When I’m with you, I’m walking on air
Watching you sleeping there, yeah
But what can’t I get through?
And for everyone, everywhere
You’re answering every prayer
[Chorus]
And when you’re riding a wave
Oh, won’t you ride that wave to me?
When you’re setting your sail
Oh, can I be your seventh sea?
When you’re riding a wave
Oh, when you’re riding a wave
[Bridge]
‘Cause when I’m hurt
Then I’ll go to your church
‘Cause when I’m hurt
Then I’ll go to your church
[Instrumental]
[Chorus]
When you’re riding a wave
Oh, won’t you ride that wave to me?
When you’re riding a wave
[Vocalizing in Arabic by Norah Shaqur]
أبي يا الله يا قادر، لماذا تركتني؟
أبي يا الله يا قادر
حرية يا الله
محبة يا الله
[Outro]
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
I worship in your church, baby, always
I worship in your church, all the seven days (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
I praise and praise
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Ode To My Beloved – haiku cluster
Ode to my Beloved
Please hear me saying
The words that sweep your sorrow.
I’m in love with you.
Please kiss the rosebuds
That will bloom at the next dawn,
Opening new day.
Please touch the dewdrops
For me. Can you feel the love
When the water bursts?
Please close your eyes now.
Look at the Sun in my heart.
Do you see a You?
Please taste through my Soul.
What color do you find there?
It does remain true.
Somewhere on Nov. 7 / 12:00 (a throwback to embrace a frozen heart)
Love is that bringing us to the now either with the five senses or the sixth.
Love is that neutralising past & future into lessons & hopes.
What can be better than to be you, my Beloved?
If being you feels annoying or painful, do remember that you were born to the world welcome by a mother’s love, a father’s pride, a family’s cheer and unlimited future.
So, love yourself.
Only by loving yourself you can clear the blocked path.
Namaste
When Love And Passion – haiku
When love and passion
Collide. Words and gestures crash.
I can only sigh.
Akita – November 17, 2019 / 01:21am (a throwback to a sleepless night)
Love is maybe a type of particle collision cause, process and effect at the same time: its physical visibility is a giant supernova whose image can only be caught as late as thousands of years of light before reaching the earth, while the core has transformed into floating etheric secret or may have been absorbed by the black hole of memories – into a forever-and-a-day file saved in the Akashic records lingering like the Northern Light.
For nothing I’m still loving You. And that is ok.
Big big thanks to the Scientists Have Detected… for the picture and knowledge.
Daddy – haiku
Dad, are you out there?
I just wanna say I’m fine.
See you in Heaven.
Akita – Nov. 21, 2019 – morning glorified, ready to create incredible art of life
——
Sometimes you miss those who’ve been far away, unreached with even miles of flight.
Heaven is just untouchable, at the same time very accessible…. with just a whisper.
Do pray and they will whisper you back,
Reaching you with their heavenly hands.
I miss my father (so often) but I always tell him I’m fine ‘coz he protects me from above.
I love you, father…..
Thanks to Coldplay for this song that has given a punch on me with tons of awareness.
When Mind Is Set Free – haiku
When mind is set free,
I want to live forever
As long as with you.
Singapore – long weekend of Deepavali Day 2019
—
King of Swords and Queen of Swords turned to King of Wands and Queen of Wands after stumbled by The Tower. From icy cold to passionately loving characters
Amazing! Ramblin Mike’s cards were open so “coincidently” magical. But I believe nothing is coincident.
End of this long weekend has got a nice closure of a bitter wound that gradually turns into a sweet journey, even if having to wait for an unknown shadow of a you. Just with a zodiac reading — that I used to underestimate :-p
Lesson learnt: Don’t underestimate a small talk, it can change a cold heart and angry mind of Maleficent into a warm heart and liberating mind of Nala of The Lion King.
Useful links: My Lion King and Maleficent
Wanna see Ramblin Mike’s zodiac reading? Enjoy.
Dear My Beloved – prayer
My Beloved,
please spare me love that heals each other,
that nurtures each other,
that liberates each other,
that expands each other,
that respects each other,
that supports each other,
that is truthful and faithful to each other,
that is true and sweet to each other.
My Beloved, and so be it.
Prayer in a Deepavali long weekend in Singapore – 2019
Thank you for the picture, O Beloved
No Need To Tell Them – haiku
No need to tell them
That your heart bleeds dry of Love.
Theirs might have bled, too.
Here now with myself
Sometimes we cry in the dark alone because of repeated broken heart. Sometimes you just wanna leave, run somewhere where no hurt can be felt. Don’t! Just stay!
And don’t blame on others that you think have broken your heart. No. The heart is yours to embrace, to love, to fix, to regrow…. You can do it. Don’t tell them how suffering you are because they might suffer at the same level, or even worse.
Just pray…
That we all will value the Love better and never break any heart anymore,
Especially our own heart.
Salaam for all of you who love your heart. Take care.
The link below is where I borrow the picture from, it is a very beautiful writing about heart. The Most Beautiful Heart
https://madamsabi.wordpress.com/2014/08/24/the-most-beautiful-heart/
One of My Days Was Doomed By Zodiac Reading (ranting)
Have you ever listened to zodiac reading in Youtube?
I did.
Some time ago my friend and I came across to an idea to see if the readings of our zodiacs (Virgo and Cancer) were accurate against the actual situations. Moreover, she was curious if her love life was on the right path.
“I think your zodiac won’t agree with that Aries guy!” I said that knowing that the Aries guy was too good to be true – someone that you know…. handsome, successful, rich, loved by many (daydreaming) ladies (but in my perspective –so sorry to say– that that kind of man can be the most manipulative).
“Don’t frustrate your friend.” She snapped me sharply. Ahem!
We searched the topic using smart key words and chose zodiac readers with more than 100,000 subscribers. We assumed that the more subscribers someone has, the more trust that reader gets from his/her viewers.
We found many readers in Youtube. They have wide range of styles, accuracies, clarity, excitement and approach. Some are very detailed – imagine someone is reading your zodiac for more than one hour without pay! (I mean paid they get paid through AdSense, not you). Some are very stingy – only 6 minutes and called it “general reading”. Some are very sexy look and busier showing their sex appeal than reading integrity; some are sloppy, like just getting up from the bed and dragged by the reading schedules. Some are very brilliant speakers – this is a bit dangerous because they can just flip the fact to sound sweeter to you; some are blunt or use too many fillers in their speech like “uummm”, “errr”, “like”, etc. Some are very knowledgeable, while some are not more than making your ass hotter and want to hit the antagonist in the reading. Some are young, some are old. Most of them are female — this is not discrimination but yes, the male readers sound like female to me except the one in a cowboy style named Ramblin Mike.
No, no. I am not talking about the readers. I want to talk about the reading, that unluckily was very rarely on both of our sides. We felt that we were doomed because of having “wrong” zodiacs.
- One reader said that my friend was offered a love by a Virgo. Friend: It should be by an Aries. (-)
- One reader said my friend would give good response to a Sagittarius. Friend: She was so excited. Me: But hey, he is not a Sag. He is an Aries! (-)
- One reader said that I was unfaithful. Me: Goddamn! She said Virgo is unfaithful?! I never cheat anyone in my relationship! I’d been cheated! (-)
- Some readers said that my friend was getting a very good job promotion; while actually she was in a tension with her boss. Friend: Nonsense! (-)
- One reader said that I was going to get a very good appreciation from the company. Me: Resonated! Thanks God! (reality: I hadn’t even had a performance review yet.) (+)
- Some readers said that time was fluid and so the reading points could happen in the past, present and future…. Us: Ummm (?)
- One reader (my favorite, maybe because he is a Virgo and always takes a side of Virgo) made us rock on laughter “Oh God, he is even deceitful in his fantasy”. Me: So cute! (+)
- Some readers said that they heard words coming to them as divine message. Us: Really? Teach us how. (+)
- One reader said that she heard the word “Disney” intuitively and she said that my love story would be like Disney’s love story. Me: Rubbish!, Friend: Don’t say rubbish, just pray. Me (again): Rubbish! (-)
- One reader said that my friend’s love would come by end of this year. Friend: Yay! (+)
- Another reader said that my friend’s love would come later, maybe mid of next year. Me: Hahaha (-) Friend: What?! (-)
- Some readers said at the beginning of the reading that the card energy was so good, then when opening other cards they would say that the card’s energy shifted so fast and said that it was so negative. Us: Inconsistent! (-)
We cursed most of the time because many things didn’t reflect our situations.
And, what finally broke our laughter was when one reader said “…. Oh, your person really loves you and this person is willing to die for you blahblahblah…. But if you don’t have the same situation, this person might deal with one more Virgo and you are the antagonist one.”
Both of us: “Change reader! Hahaha….!”
Please don’t get me wrong. I respect all those readers. They have trained themselves to read either using tarot cards, oracle cards, intuition, rune, etc. I am sure some of them took advanced courses and some of them have been truly gifted spiritually. Some of them claimed that they have read for more than 20 years, with credentials that I didn’t even imagine before I found this thing in Youtube. My point is that general reading can be misleading and no one should take it for granted.
If you really want to be read through, find a trusted reader and do personal/private reading where the reader can access your energy specifically and directly. And he or she shall be good, intuitive, trustworthy and reliable reader. Clear and authentic. Genuine and sincere. High integrity and mature —
Life sometimes can feel so good when the zodiac reading is positive; even if it is not true. Damn right! :-))
Ah…. I might take a course to be an excellent reader someday so that I can read good things for everyone and make them happy…. 🙂
Singapore – October 12, 2019 / 12:25am
I’m grateful for the picture to: https://blog.hellofresh.com/the-zodiac-signs-spring-veggies/
