Missing you is losing some pixels from mind; life becomes less vibrant.
โ
graphs of my Universe
Missing you is losing some pixels from mind; life becomes less vibrant.
โ
A loving visit beyond time and space. Salaam. Universe answers.
โ
This life is a library
Keeping all collections,
Reference to public,
Exclusive to a lover,
One lover.
The
Belovedโ
Read,
Beloved
Any scrolls
In this library.
Read,
Lover
The diaries
In the secret dungeon.
Read,
Beloved
With naked eyes, or
With any glasses on the shelves.
Read,
Lover
Through letters and numbers,
Shapes and colours.
Read,
Beloved
This library is open
As long as you are awake.
Read,
Lover
Before you sleep
When Iโll be reading you through.
โ
About the photo
How many tastes can she experience in joy? 5 or 7?
โ
Realising that the best taste is not any of those 5 or 7; the best taste is only 1: to love. ๐
Days of love be likeโฆ
Does heaven and earth exist other than in a loverโs smile? Yes. Dream.
โ
There is always first.
A tree greeting breeze and sky
Comes from minute seed.
โ
Thank you, 2022 for every single second spent together. You are a stronger part of what Iโve been building with love. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And thanks to all years passing, too. Iโll miss you. ๐
โ
Life is wonderful that she is eager about it and is willing to expand and to keep up with what she is becoming. She is the pilot, she is the plane. She is the destination, she is the direction. She is the standard, she is the conformance. She is the alignment, she is the aligned. She is enough.
It is not othersโ responsibility that she feels good or not good. The feel existing is because she allows it to be. And the vice versa.
โ
2023, be my excellent canvas of feel-good-no-matter-what. Clarity, sufficiency, integrity as in good life, beautiful love, genuine laughter ๐
Alfatihah.
๐
About tumpeng or buceng (in Bahasa Indonesia)
Rain is a blessing
From the sky before starting
Journey to the north.
โ
Me: Boys, the rain seem to stay heavy. Boys, are you ok?
Nephews: Yes, it is fun! We just want to pee again!
Me: Donโt pee on your pants ya.
What a conversation!
Perennially
Love celebrates all seasons
Cycle by cycle.
โ
See this pendulum
Swinging between two far poles
Knowing each otherโ
โ
Someone called me and asked if we could have a dinner. We hadnโt met for many years. Knowing this person was in Singapore, I excitedly agreed to meet. Meeting this person, I was given a shock. This person looked weary and older than oneโs age. The excellent appearance and posture was totally gone. That time I felt so blessed for for being me.
Me: I am not a marriage advisor, dear. Not even ever married yet! (Thatโs after a very long ranting from the friend stopped).
SO: But I know you are the most suitable one I can talk to.
Me: Ohโฆ. (damn wrong, whispered to myself)
SO: โฆ. A broken marriageโฆ !@#$%^&*()_+=-::โ<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Ohโฆ. (proven wrong talking to me, whispered to myself)
SO: โฆ. Divorce is painfulโฆ. !@#$%^&*()_+=-::โ<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Ohโฆ. Ummm (starting to show sympathy) I understand how you feel in this situation. Must be painful. Your own stress, the other oneโs stress, your children, other peopleโs impression and words about you, your workโฆ.. Everything seems not at your side. I can understand you feel unwanted, useless, bad, irresponsible. Yet decision was made. You just should face it. How? Not sure if my word is reasonable and responsible but I think you just need to keep being you: working as before, doing activities that are still accessible, talking to your children like before, talking to your ex about the childrenโฆ.
SO: You donโt know! It is not that easy!
Me: Ohโฆ. I am so sorry. I might not fully understand it is not that easy. I am so sorry for my ignorance. (told ya I am not the right person, whispered to myself)
SO: How would you survive alone all this time? You seem so happy with your life. Sometimes I regret for getting married too young. Look at you and X and Y and Z. All the singles are happy.
Me: (Oh! A sudden death! I know this would come but too soon, too soon. Let me find the right words. Whispered again to myself ) Ummmโฆ. I think it is not that easy tooโฆ. Ummmโฆ. I am happy, yes. Not always, but most of the time I am. Yet I also probably started hard.
SO: You donโt seem ever in hard time.
Me: Thatโs what you see. !@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&%%%%%%%%%%%%%.
SO: So do you think I can survive?
Me: Of course. Although our problem is not the same, I am sure you can. Donโt underestimate your ability to cope with the hardship of life. You are stronger than you think. You just donโt know it yet.
SO: You really donโt want to get married?
Me: (This question I never like, never like, never like; whispered to myself, but need to find the best words that wonโt cause any further question.) This is out of context; you should not ask me this question. Not that I donโt want. Itโs just about time.
SO: Do you fall in love?
Me: Ok, now you are asking me question about me.
SO: I feel good when knowing I am not alone.
Me: (Make sense, but why me oh my God!) Ok. Ok. I can make you feel better. Yes I fall in love and break my heart. And I donโt want to break my heart again.
SO: So you donโt want to fall in love again?
Me: Of course not like that. I fall in love again and again.
SO: With whom?
Me: With my eyes. With my lips. With my hair. With my morning. With my job. With myโฆ. (I saw the person got annoyed but I continued with more things) Hahahaโฆ.
SO: Is it that easy?
Me: Nothing is easy automatically. It takes practice and time.
SO: What if I donโt get married again in the future?
Me: Thatโs too far away. Think about what you can do today.
SO: Do you think I still have a chance to get married?
Me: Of course if you want! Just find the right person.
SO: How can I find it? How?
Me: (Oh my God, help me before I can help others. Whispered to myself while finding the best words for this troubled person; even an intelligent person can be as dumb as this in oneโs bad time) Hey, hey! If I know how to get the right person, I would have been married much earlier. This question is irrelevant.
SO: Hahahaโฆโฆ! Sorry, sorry! Hahahaโฆโฆ..!
Me: (Ok, at least I made you happy, whispered to myself. Mostly smiling among listening to the ranting, I enjoyed a perfect night โ no rain, enough breezeโฆ. Hours can feel like minutesโฆ. On and on and on and on until midnight. Whispered to myself.) Cinderella has to go home, my friend. Or else, she will be back to be Cendrillon.
SO: I feel so much better. It feels like I find myself again. Maybe I was too preoccupied with not important things that I thought I lost the person I had known so long, myself.
Me: I might be like that in the same situation, maybe worse.
SO: Thank you very much.
Me: (I didnโt do anything. Just sat down and listened and responded to you. Whispered to myself for how many times heaven knows) The least I can do. It is good to meet long lost friend. Welcome back.
Dear friend, I know youโll read this with a smile. Get better. See you some day. When meeting me again, make sure you look nicer.
Lesson learnt: Be patient with those facing fresh-from-the-oven problem. Donโt judge. Be a good listener. Donโt try to be a perfect advisor because you are not. Be yourself. Donโt get offended, someone in trouble may unintentionally disturb you.
Life is a love song
Growing from the heart and soul
Blooming everyday.
โ
Love is dark chocolate. Heart throbs, eyes wide open then dehydration comes.
โ
Love, your wings hurt me by slapping water. Fine, youโre having fun. Get drunk.
โ
She hums rhythms that no one can enjoy
But those hearing the thin breeze
In the falling dusk.
She recites rhymes that no one can feel
But those touching beads of dew
In the brightening dawn.
Not sending wishes anymore
As whispering is louder in her own ears.
Intention might be misunderstood.
Not delivering messages anymore to you
As journaling is clearer to her own mind.
Linguistic might be multi-interpreted.
She sings love songs sweetly
To re-orchestrate in many genres with the paradise green birds
She keeps safe gently in heart.
She rewinds her heart slowly
To become millions of forever notes turning into eternal air
She meditates sacredly in silence.
How beautiful love is with love songs
Unheard!
โ
Life is a quarter
With many doors to access.
Ever rendezvousโ
โ
Love is not fading.
Love is distancing away
From shooting stars
Hurting a peaceful land.
Dear, shooting stars.
Dance.
Fly.
Free fall.
Father of Sky will redirect you
To another land who is willing to be hurt
Or
Simply re-orbit you to safer route.
โ
When two are wedded,
The rest are singing, wishing
Brighter days and nights.
โ
I attended my nephewโs wedding matrimony today. Mike looked stunning, and so did Vera.
Hearing their wedding vows was mixture of fun and heartwarming feelings โ two poles apart met by destiny. ๐
Tante Rike happy for you, Mike
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Smile, Beloved, smile.
Itโs a luxurious gift
For you and for me.
โ
I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.
Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. ๐
Thank you!
๐
My love is mostly dumb, stubborn, too thin to see, and makes you hate me.
My luck is often loud, sudden, too huge to miss, and makes me love you.
Iโm not a gambler, yet think youโre a dice rolling numbers for a prize.
โ
Rindu itu
Sebutir berlian tak diasah
Teronggok begitu saja
Menanti pengasah berputar.
Tak ada yang mau.
Rindu itu
Sebiji nanas madu tak dikupas
Tergeletak di atas meja
Menanti pisau mengiris.
Tak ada yang mau.
Rindu itu
Setangkai kembang api mati
Terbujur kaku di dalam wadah
Menanti pemantik menyala.
Tak ada yang mau.
Rindu itu
Kabut tipis tentangmu
Tebal menyelimuti kaca
Menanti cuaca berganti.
Mau tak mau.
Rindu itu
Bukan tentang kamu yang lupa.
Rindu itu
Tentang aku yang tak ingat.
Mau tak mau.
Rindu itu
Rindu ini.
Sibuk sendiri
Hingga ia puas bermain
Lalu menggandengmu pergi.
Kau harus mau.
โ
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