Reflections

The eyes, Beloved,
Bury what was once alive,
Mark eternity.

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Maybe it’s your eyes when I look in to them. And mine when I look through the heart.

Welcome the weekend.

Limited Edition For Unlimited Time

Only, Beloved,
Unnecessary limit.
Roam. Do celebrate.

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Weekend always opens my eyes to see that life isn’t only about balancing or fulfilling. Life is sometimes about emptying what’s full and making regular things odd, because celebrating is about putting one more milestone where a journey restarts.

September, thank you for giving me many signs which I can and cannot read. The unread is queueing to be deciphered. Wish you give me the answers so I can have more celebrations in life.

May all beings be happy…. 💝

my dream is to cook my own biryani soon, now eating it from the store is a dream-come-true – I didn’t see the need of unpacking it. Hajaaaar! 😄🥰

Three Words

Three words wait for you
To say to those around you:
Beloved darling—

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Words in poem

Colours in painting

Voice in songs

Air in breath

Prayer in silence

Steps in walk

Choose one way to say I love you…

Harvest

If I can meet you,
I won’t stop calling your names.
Harvesting blessings—

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The orchids are bringing me some time to sit at home, admiring the beauty of nature gifts in pots.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do except accepting what is because beauty is just like that. Just like what?

Just like calling your names 💝

Salaam…

this lasts for about 3 months
these duets are the most frequent show-off
she’s been around 1.5 months and still shiny

this white, favourite colour of mine

Be Hungry, Don’t Starve

Hunger, Beloved,
A good friend. Not starving though—
The latter’s killing.

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Hungry is needing and nurturing; starving is craving and suffering. Knowing what is needed becomes significant; be just hungry, not extremely hungry that causes craving for more than the capacity.

…. In another case, love. Don’t demand. Universe know what you deserve. 💝

I’m a happy birthday-clown; ready to kiss the world and kick the other side of it. 👻

Welcome one new cycle. Give me good surprises, the bad are all expired!

Salam….

today’s early dinner, also this year’s celebration – many happy return! was it hunger or starvation? 😛

Beauty

Beauty, Beloved,
Prescribed by culture; differed
Through one’s perspective—

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When I was young, I faced difficulty in describing beauty. It was always society’s perspective taken. A question of “why beauty is so rigid” remained preserved.

Getting more mature, I got more freedom to describe what beauty was and found there was wider spectrum of what beauty was.

Now beauty is in everything everywhere as the eyes are not only seeing things through what’s culturally ascribed or prescribed. They have achieved a point that what are unlimitedly created can be freely appreciated. And, so is beauty—

We are created by The Beautiful who loves beauty. Why would not see all through the eyes of the creator?

May all beings be happy.

not perfectly beautiful coz it would dig my wallet too deeply if I wanted more; this is perfectly matched my beautiful day though and that’s perfect! 💝

Live Forever

Glory, Beloved,
Living doubts by loving hopes.
Time is my beacon.

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Reading the holy book, I found time is used to testify for many different things in different verses. Night, morning, dawn, dusk, time, moments, etc are used repeatedly in a lot of diction. It shows how important and powerful time is.

By the ˹passage of˺ time! Surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss, except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-‘Ashr/The Declining Time)

Time is that precious that it is scripted as proverb in some culture. Time is money in a culture that indicates people will lose money if they don’t manage the time well. Time is sword in another one that indicates only when sharpened, it will effectively work in a battle. In other cultures time is integrated in the life schedule related to seasons and celebrations.

What is time to this person? Not money, not sword. Time is a sign telling to start, to stop, to pause, to continue, to turn, to go straight or to take U-turn. Time is a when falling on to a nice where to create a moment of truth.

As long as the beacon beams its light, I’ll continue the journey.

Even if forever? Yes, even if forever as I know forever is a count down.

Shape A Good Heart

Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—

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Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though

With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.

Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam….

where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝

Life Is Buying Time

Life is eternal.
Strand of dimensions through time
Bargained with good deeds
Also sins. How long? You guess.
Till creation’s obsolete?

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September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.

How can I get older yet be more stupid?

There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎

Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….

The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.

Salam….

there’s another life at the end of the journey

Too Many Mind, Dreams Stay Though

I lost a fur of my dream catcher.

The play-smart mind told me
“Find what’s the cause.”

The relaxed mind of me replied
“Alamak… It’s just a metal.”

The play-pretty mind said
“But it is now less pretty!”

The play-wise mind said
“Small one. I’m just being careless. Ok!”

The greedy mind said
“That’s a good reason to buy new ones!”

From behind the door, the naive one said
“Why so noisy? It doesn’t kill.”

…… #@$%^&*!

And the core is just smiling, not even opening its eyes.

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When talking to one’s own self, one should be ready to feel like crazy inside because one will suddenly realise even within one there are this one and that one, each of whom is craving for attention and needing entertainment.

Get entertained instead and they’ll be the most attractive acrobatics!

May all beings be happy.

dear dream catchers, I won’t buy new ones – you’ll stay as long as the dreams are flowing and vibrating 💕

Lining Momentum

Years,
Months,
Days,
Hours,
Minutes,
Seconds
Are countable;
Yet,
The feeling I’m walking with
To you
Is beyond
Any calculation.

Can I count on
You,
Beloved?

Hit the gong
When
You
Are in.

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It’s beautiful to love you. Every moment of it…. 💝

gong is an instrument in Javanese gamelan; gong is hit at the beginning or end of a line of one set of musical tones

Memory

Freshness, Beloved,
Breathing in and out the air
Loaded with blessings—

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Beautiful memory is as fresh as tropical fruits.

Define beautiful! That drawing a smile on a face, like you….

Define fresh! That popping up when soul arrives from travel in the morning, like you….

May all beings be happy.

tropical fruits of the week 💝

All Directions Are To The Same End

Blessings, Beloved,
Accepting with no review—
See it differently.

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Today’s short message from a wise friend takes one of the longest thought. Lucky me for being alone so the time and space is serving just me.

Sometimes our emotion isn’t our emotion. It might be someone else’s that sits in us because some people entrust the emotions to us when sharing their burden to us. Believe it or not there is exchange of energy when beings are interacting with each other. We get sad when our family is sad. We are upset when our best friends are betrayed. We can be devastated when our pets pass away. The scale of the impact depends on how deeply they get hurt and/or how vulnerable we are to them. As simple as that.

When I asked this good friend why people or incidents are not avoidable although I’ve made best effort to stay away. Her message is “karma”. She is a Buddhist so that reply is her logical response. Besides I see the logic of karma thing.

Although I can’t tangibly prove that I live repeated lives, I live in karma system. If I do good, I get good. I do no good, I get no good. Simple and straightforward forward— whether the cause is the good one in the past affecting the current situation; or the present good deed affecting the future (not necessarily related to repeated life), that’s a certainty

But why the karma isn’t working as one to one? No, karma works like someone who plants mango seed – one mango seed will only give its fruits when it’s ready and the one seed will give the farmer hundreds of mango fruits. That karma. Alamak….!

So what should I do, Bude? I asked my friend.

Her message (translated into English word by word): that is your task of compassion.

So?

Accept it. Grow more good seeds that bad one. Pour clean water to your jug that is filled with dirty water until the jug is overflown with clean water and the dirty is flushed out.

So I can’t avoid them and don’t need to avoid them. The only thing I should do is to accept them without review. The only mandatory review is to my own emotions; understanding whether the emotion is my emotion or unnecessary impact that happens because of weak protection membrane around my own self.

This is not new thing for all of us. Yet 2020 and 2021 have been field of emotional battle in which I’ve learnt how to identify my own and others’. What a period! I wish all is getting better with the upcoming birthday. Amen.

So lucky to have good friends who are willing to accompany me in this journey.

Dear God, love me and love all my good friends. Thank you for giving the blessings of friendship, true one with true one. Please let me stay in the true one.

Salaam.

wherever the directions, the end is love and compassion, nothing else – if we accept it

Treasure

Treasure, Beloved,
Hidden, might not be found
Without accident—-

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Look at your mistakes, Self. Sometimes they bring you the more precious.

Thanks for buying the rib while it should have been ox tail. But it turned out to be a better yum than ever imagined!

And so is mistake in life!

Makaaan!

Constant Discovery

You are, Beloved,
A complete self who finds new
Self one at a time.

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A philosopher once said that change is the only constant and others agreed with the statement. When we see change as tangibility yes, I totally agree.

Yet about growth of self I have my own comprehension. Do I change? Yes, I get thinner or fatter, older with wrinkles and lines not younger, slower, weaker physically, less sharp sight, and so on and so forth. So I change? No, I’m still the same person with the same DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth, or other possible constants.

Not only that….

I believe I’m always this full yet I discover this self more and more everyday. With deeper and deeper understanding, wider and wider disclosure I have lived and accepted life.

Personally everyone is granted with talents, DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth. No one can deny those. No one can escape even one hates those and wishes to have been born someone else. Sorry, you can’t! Embrace the personality.

Yet everyone is given opportunity to build identity.

What did I want myself to be?

What did I not want to be associated with?

How did I want others to perceive me?

How did I not want others to treat me?

What?

How?

Whom do I want to enter my life?

Who will be part of my inner circle I want?

Whom?

Who?

Why have I done this and that? This is a very important question to even know the unbroken chains that has brought me to this state.

Am I still I am? Yes, definitely a constant! But am I me? No, you’re a different you since you’ve embraced constant self discovery.

😏

Me: Saturday night, keep me safe and warm.

Saturday night: You’ll be safe and warm if you finish your laundry and mop the floor. No one will do it!

Me: (losing all suddenly-pretending-to-be-wise act and thought)

Saturday night: 🤪 capek deh….!

May all beings be happy.

pretty sword lilies and asiatic lilies – sorry, not today, no budget!!!

Who Is The Key

I want to want
I want to not want
I don’t want to want
I don’t want to not want

Which one am I now?

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As long as I’m human being, I won’t be able to deny the want and not want. It’s not the verb, it’s the subject. A complication of thinking!

I don’t want to love you but I want to free myself to love one staying in the heart. That’s perfection!

In fact the struggle seems like a perfect circle when two ends collides: things don’t always happen as expected. Then what appears is that the simplicity of acceptance is above perception.

Simplicity is the crown of perfection. 💝

Alhamdulillah….

just do things right – when you’re angry, be angry but just do it right

Wonderland

Good vibes, Beloved,
Contagious and precious
Keep it the longest.

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Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”

Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..

Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.

More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!

All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!

God bless my dear Indonesia and what’s in it. 💝

Independence Day

Freedom, Beloved,
Inner beauty blooms in time.
True celebration—

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Celebration is a blessings enjoyed everyday. Celebrating health. Celebrating welfare. Celebrating family. Celebrating friendship. Celebrating breath. Celebrating greenery…… Celebrating anything I want to celebrate.

Celebrating stupid chats with some good friends. 😁

I love celebration in which commemoration is the core but never ever enjoy party in which entertainment is the core.

August is major celebration after September. In August two home countries celebrate their independence: Indonesia on 17, Singapura on 9. Both have unique ways to celebrate the days. For the past nine years on Singapura’s I’ve personally loved seeing all the flags hanging in apartments and along streets, in Indonesia’s except last and this years I’ve gone to the Embassy for flag ceremony combined with meeting with other Indonesians enjoying the precious moment together.

Happy National Day, Singapura! Thanks for taking care of me.

Dirgahayu Indonesiaku! How much ever the distance between us, you’re always in this heart. Thanks for gushing me some blood of great archipelago.

May all beings be happy.

flowers for celebrations of August

red, white on green

Life Renewed

Regret, Beloved,
People judged by their mistakes—
There’s always a chance.

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At the tip of a finger, a chance can change a future with one condition: right place, right time. There’s always a chance, new one.

May all beings be happy.

fingertip on the top of stone monument – see you again 🌝

No Secret

Secret, Beloved
Ice cube waiting for warm touch—
Melts and flows: a stream
Of messages from the heart.
Read or heard of. Clean and clear—

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No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.

Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.

Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.

As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.

May all beings be happy.

that year, when a cold caught a cold