Farmer

Farmer, Beloved,
Waiting for the rain and wind
Patiently with love.

Imagine our world without farm and farmer. Famine, thirst, drought, dead soil, dullness, colourlessness, so bored and ugly!

🌏

May all beings be happy.

not so good crop this time – soil starts getting tired of chemicals

as far as lens can see, green, yellow and blue 💓

the farmers I met when walking down the rice fields – so humble and polite, thank you so much!

Different Days for One Date

I learn
Life is about counting gates of moments.
It’s not what I celebrate,
It’s how I celebrate.
They call it this,
I call it that,
It’s a day dyed with red, blue, yellow
Yet
Really the day won’t describe its own color when asked.

One more day to celebrate!

—-

It’s not unusual Ramadhan is closed on different days by different groups of Muslim esp. in big country like Indonesia. One group may close Ramadhan on 29th day, the other on 30th. It’s not a big deal (although some noisy people like to debate about it) but it’s not simple things to explain. Overall the difference is due to 2 different methods of seeing the crescent moon visibility in the horizon – one group is using mathematical astronomy (computation), the other physical observation (telescope).

This year most of my family in Indonesia celebrated the Eid yesterday, I in Singapore today.

Without further ado….

Hari Raya Puasa = Hari Raya Idul Fitri = Lebaran = Riyaya = Ba’dan = Eid Mubarak whatever they call it, it is here to be claimed and celebrated, not debated. 🥰

Celebrate moments that are given in life including this festivity. Every moment is a gate to another moment before entering the next gate of moment. After entering Ramadhan gate, now Syawal gate, what’s next? Any should be simply a gate to start or to restart or to continue.

a common greeting in Eid: May Allah accept (good deeds) from us and from you.

Gate after gate before finally the grandest gate ⛩

this is always a favourite object – gate

once more…

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1443H

Watching Beauty Decomposed

Beauty, Beloved
Bodily fades. Beauty stays
Only as value:
Commitment, integrity.
Forever? Yes, forever.

—-

I won’t exchange anything in me with anything from any other beautiful, rich, sexy women who look happier and more successful because I love the way Mother Nature presents life through this very journey.

Watching physical deterioration is provoking yet amazing. Seeing my own picture from small girl to adult mature, it takes courage to tell myself that who was radiantly strong has grown to this dully weak. At the same time it takes courage to tell myself that who was carelessly egotistical has grown to this wisely humble.

Thanks so much for all the lessons and gifts. I won’t regret. 🐣

May all beings be happy.

Dedicated to: scammers who never stop trying stealing from others in one way or another – if you don’t have money, just stop shopping, don’t use others’ to satisfy your impulsive buying, lazybones!

this old guy is clear and accurate, the other two favourite: the apartment doorman and the psychologist – different spectrum of covert beauty

Hari Kartini

Hari Kartini ki mesthi dadi dina paling dieling-eling marang bocah-bocah wedok jamanku ning Indonesia. Ngapa? Merga saben Hari Kartini bocah-bocah wedok jamanku paling ora pisan pindho nate bayakan (nganggo kebaya), jarikan, gelungan, sing wong tuwane nduwe ragat ya macak ning salon barang. Sing wong tuwane dhompete kandel ya anake ayu moblong-moblong. Sing sederhana ya wis biasa ae, ketok wedhakan, bengesan, jungkasan mening wis lumayan mbois.

Ning maknane Hari Kartini ki kok ora pati mancep lan nilas ning ati lan jiwane bocah-bocah ya? Nek diarani tokoh emansipasi wanita Indonesia, apa iya bocah-bocah sing jarikan macak nganti ayune uleng-ulengan ki paham maksude apa? Kok nganti saiki wong-wong wedok ijik akeh sing didiskriminasi kaya jamane Ibu Kartini.

Apa cukup carane memperingati Hari Kartini ki nyang sekolah utawa kantor nganggo klambi daerah mblenger ditutuli benges, sedow lan celak ben ketok medoki?

Sakjane ya kudune rada jeru ya masiya nek isane ngono ya wis ben ngono sik. Ning muga-muga ae bocah-bocah wedok Indonesia ora mandheg maknani Hari Kartini mung dadi tetenger wiyose Ibu Kartini, tapi luwih meneh maknani laire rasa setara, dudu kompetisi antarane lanang lan wedok, rasa melengkapi antarane lanang karo wedok ana ing urip iki, ora balapan, ora royokan.

Alhamdulillah wis enek Hari Kartini. Paling ora enek sing ngelingne lek wedok ki kudu piye lan isa piye. — wedok ki ora mung sumur, kasur, dapur tapi ya oleh tandur, tutur, ngatur barang. Wis piye?

Sugeng ambal warsa, RA Kartini.

Selamat Hari Kartini, para perempuan Indonesia. You’re well respected whoever, wherever, whenever you are, no matter what. 🙏🏼

🎂

Life As I Like It

Good life, Beloved
Surrounded by them most loved
In green serene air—

—-

I like to tell some colleagues that I’ll be the host for our reunion dinner in my home 15 years from now. It must be a good time to talk about how we’re doing what we’re doing.

Though not soon, ‘m looking forward to a long life to make it happen.

See you in a green serene garden, fellas! 🥳

water, greenery, away from parties – life as I love it 💓 – one spot in Singapore Botanic Garden 😍

Temasek – Apr. 19, 2022 / 19:33

Prayer For The Weak

Those of men, women and children who are weak, ill-treated and oppressed be rescued and protected from the oppressors. Amen.

—————

I see many curse one specific invasion, raise the flag and upload country symbol to take side of the one whom they consider the weak; however, they ignore the bigger part of those invaded by another giant who has invaded way more places for so many years.

I don’t blame them cursing and taking side, understanding that for some people life is about losing, winning and guarding pride. Just that that type of people should be —excuse me— considered intelligent-but-ignorant. Intelligence is the highest pride of that type of people, yet they miss the point that —excuse me— ignorance is the root of all evil.

Once I heard one of my teacher talked about “history of fart’ in which this old wise man talked about a person farting and blamed and cursed and laughed at without everyone’s thinking over what chains of events have preceded the fart: what the person eats, why one eats it, when one eats it, who gives that food to one, and so on and so forth….

But yeah, who wants to think about fart? Almost no one! Maybe only that particular teacher did then he reminded all of his students to be careful not to judge from what’s readily accessibly sensible only. There is history to be considered. In fact, history is very complex that many people claiming to be historians have missed the true points. Why? Because they are attached to history written one-sidedly, while missing other sides which are almost always forgotten or the least accessible, buried with the death of the weak and the holders of the next generation.

Alfatihah for the weak everywhere you are. 🦋

those kings and aristocrats don’t care about those underprivileged, don’t you realise?
is he still a representative or just a name of fame?

Sweetness

Sweetness, Beloved,
A limit everyone sets.
She has for good words,
Not for sugar. It is fine.
World gives space to all tastes.

————————————————————-

Life can be seen from many different perspectives. It can look bitter, sometimes sweet but the level of bitterness and sweetness is not standardisable. If someone wants to set a standard of bitterness based on her/his limit, s/he will suffer for her/himself. 😁

May all beings be happy (with different level of sweetness)❣️

there is a limit of sweetness that everyone can tolerate – don’t judge ❣️
…. to this! sweet boba!
from this: tapioca starch, cocoa powder, brown sugar

Welcome, Month of Exercising (Javanese Muslim Tradition)

Regret and sorry
Not easy to feel and say,
Yet flushing the guilt.
Look! It’s rain water pouring
On the roof, sweeps away dirt.

—————————————————

Ramadhan is starting tomorrow, it’s my 38th year in which I do full fasting. I’m so grateful with this achievement. Achievement? Yes! Imagine for one full month during the day we don’t drink, we don’t eat, we don’t smoke, we don’t sex, we don’t let out uncontrolled emotion, we simply hold whatever we normally let out easily with no delay. We are human beings though, we can do all those at night. Ahem!

As a Javanese Muslim welcoming Ramadhan is as special as the fasting itself. We welcome the Ramadhan with a small celebration called megengan which literally means holding (esp. the breath).

In megengan a Javanese family will deliver a basket of rice with dishes to neighbours and extended family members living separately. While each family can choose what they share, there is one must specialty in this occasional delivery so called “apem” in Javanese or “kue apam” in Bahasa Indonesia or Malay.

Apem is steamed cake whose ingredients are rice flour, coconut milk, coconut water, yeast, sago starch and some sugar.

The word apem is derived from the word “afwun” (an Arabic word) meaning apology. Why apology? In Ramadhan when a Muslim is fasting, s/he is not only holding her/himself from hunger, thirst, lust, uncontrolled anger, and exercising her/his integrity; but s/he is also recommended to contemplate her/his own “action records” for the past one year. It is not easy for one to bear the guilt during the contemplation, so it is recommended for a Muslim before Ramadhan to apologise to their family and friends or to whomever s/he did wrongdoing, to ease the contemplation process. As it might not be easy to say sorry through a naked word, Javanese Muslim will include a symbolic apology in the food called apem when they deliver the whole food package. Everyone knows what it is, what it does— it is up to each person whether or not to accept the apology. And there they go starting the fasting month with a light heart to physically, mentally and spiritually exercise her/himself for one full month.

I used to think that that celebration was a waste of food. For one week I used to see sooooo many plastic and bamboo baskets piled up in our dining table and shelves — all those megengan packages which would be eaten just a bit and end up given to our chickens at the back yard. Fyi, the apem is never wasted though as every family has different taste and ways of how to make their best apem – maybe it’s a symbol that everyone is taking the apology seriously. I used to say to my mom that megengan was more about chickens celebrating than human beings celebrating. However after I understand what is symbolised through those simple deliveries, I highly appreciate the way we Javanese hold the integrity through our humble tradition.

I used to tell my mother to not do it, but now I’ve always been a reminder to her to not forget doing it and done it myself although I’m living around those not familiar with this tradition. I normally cook some simple food for the cleaning ladies and the gardeners who are assigned in the block two days before Ramadhan. Unfortunately minus the apem, simply because I am not confident enough to make my own apem. Tried this year though and failed 🙃

I promise to myself that this year is gonna be a good Ramadhan.

Welcome, month of holding, month of exercising integrity. It might not be always easy but doable.

I’m sending out apology to all the people having felt hurt by me. I’m sorry with my heart and soul in naked words. 🙏🏼

May all beings be happy.

my private megengan in 2022 minus rice, the white one is my own first apem in life – taste good but imperfect texture 🥰

Hajar That Playboy, Azka!

A very entertaining and big fight of the year!

This cool boy is Indonesia’s sweetheart! The other one is comedian, the Indonesian women’s public enemy! The boy’s father is named “Indonesian’s Father of The Year” and “Father of YouTube”, he’s raised this boy since the divorce and almost everyone in our country consider he has raised his son successfully.

So hilarious and satisfying boxing game of the year! 👍🏽

What a great victory against a playboy! Thanks, Azka!

Asterix vs Roman gladiator 🤣

Touch & Go

Perfume, Beloved,
Won’t be enjoyed by blocked nose.
Eyes though see bottle,
But the fragrance goes away
Leaving no trace but the spray.

—————————————————————

Once I had a chat about “Touch ‘n Go” card of Malaysia. One Malaysian friend made what he called a joke “Life is like touch and go la. You touch then you go la. As long as you pay, it is ok! The problem is after touch and go, you realise you run out of fuel and there is no gas station there, then you are stranded in the middle of nowhere.” None of us laughed. He said “Alamak! You all don’t get it la! Boy’s joke, boy’s joke!’

Only today I can really get it. I should text him to confirm a fresh understanding. He must be happy receiving a message from a long lost friend who is now “smart enough”. 😁

I prefer not to live like “touch and go in nice cars” touching here and there for temporary pleasure then losing the ability to detach from irresponsible people who can only suck joy out from my only self through the excessively irresponsible exchange of memories. I prefer “going on foot” consciously although it looks less luxurious.

‘d only build precious memories with those reciprocally loving me and not playing touch and go 💝

May all beings be happy.

well understood

Woman – ranting

Woman is human being
With exactly the same rights as man to be human being.
All her decisions should be respected like man’s decisions should be respected, too.
It is not a privilege to be a woman like it is not a privilege to be a man, too.
It is a privilege to be a woman like it is a privilege to be a man, too.

In some culture woman is discriminated based on different things, but overall the discrimination is simply because she is a woman.
Don’t worry, culture sustains when human being preserves it. So let’s change the discrimination culture by promoting a non-discriminative mindset.

In some culture though woman overdoes her fight of emancipation that makes herself suffer with no gain.

There should be no fighting between man and woman because the existence of both doesn’t generate competition. It is a complimentary and supplementary relationship for one another in different levels or fields of roles and responsibilities that are agreed without discrimination, harassment or abuse just because of being a woman or a man.

Ah! It is good for her to be a woman. And I know it is good for him to be a man.

Stop ranting! Go rest. 😀
thanks for saving me, Beloved❣️
we can adopt a cat, a dog or an underprivileged child! 😁
not less woman by being not a wife or a mother with a child
I never be in this type of changing room but yes, I get it
exotic and uniquely built
oh, I’m not either of them but yes it’s my body and I love it so I take care of it
commitment and integrity
to those underestimating me, thanks for staying away 🥰
not only happy, be joyful❣️

Batik Gringsing

Time travels with you
To where good memories sit,
Waiting to rejoice.

———————————————————-

When I was a girl, I got sick very often. Yet what I remember the most isn’t the pain but is how my family would take care of me. Of course they medically treated me either at home or hospitalised, but there was a unique way I can never forget what my mother, father and siblings did extra.

My father would chant Javanese mantra that would calm me down. My mother would wrap me with a sheet of batik cloth before putting the next thicker blanket. And of course siblings especially sisters would sleep with me the whole night.

What Javanese mantra chanted by father? Oh can’t remember! What batik, I definitely remember it and now own it for the same need; covering myself with batik gringsing when sick.

1.2mx2.3m batik cloth with gringsing background pattern of flower bouquets

Gringsing is one of the oldest batik background patterns in Java. It is thousands of tiny square with a dot in the center symbolising “sedulur papat kalima pancer” (literally means 4 siblings and 1 core as the fifth) the cosmic balance of human reality in Javanese wisdom. And through the philosophy it is believed that when a Javanese human is sick, s/he is cosmically imbalanced and needs to be balanced. Physically s/he is medically treated, metaphysically s/he is cured with gringsing the balance symbol.

Gringsing is an acronym of gring or gering (sick, not well, ill) and sing (not); gringsing means not sick anymore. Oh! That simple! Made by hand! Oh! Not that simple!

What a blessed human being!

wrapping body when catching fever doesn’t replace paracetamol, it’s to recall the memory of how my family well treated me when I was sick 🥰
detail of gringsing: a tiny squarish scale with a dot in the center – sedulur 4 ka-5 pancer

Across Rainbow Bridge

Across rainbow bridge,
Wings bring a tiny light up
High to where it glows.

————————————————————-

I’m surrounded by animal lovers and rescuers. Every now and then I see how they struggle with animals in pain or death. It’s not easy each time those friends have to say good bye but at the same time they learn again and again that the best end is by releasing sincerely and being released sincerely.

Happy journey, Dear. Thanks for all the lessons you have taught us.

Alfatihah 💝🙏🏼

bye, Item; see you across the bridge 🥰 alfatihah 💝

Lunch Chat

Today I had a lunch chat with a colleague. We discussed about this and that and of course how we both grow more grey hair, more fat and of course more wisdom.

happy to work with those having courage to tell when it’s right or wrong, with objectivity

I remember when I was 30’s I said to him I was so afraid of growing old alone. Now I’m growing old alone and I’m not afraid. Today I said to him that I’m afraid of dying alone and he lightly said “No one wants to die with you or with anyone else, girl! No one!”

I laughed and said “Damn! you’re right!”

And I made a good decision right during the convo that I won’t be afraid of being alone! Everything is gonna be alright!

But he said something before saying goodbye “And you’d better be a bit stingy to those not helping!”

“Damn! You’re right again!”

Life is fair but life is also not fair so we’d better know how to surf! Unfortunately, I don’t like surfing, I’m just gonna be biking!

slow down to both directions, live and die is like drawing an ♾

Tiny Persistent Dot

I’m a tiny dot in the galaxy, a mini tiny dot in the universe but I won’t give up praying that You will give peace in the heart of every human being on earth.

My prayer is for the children, elderly, disabled and animals where violence is hell on earth. That is the real hell.

Please, Peace grow in their heart and mine.

Beloved, please drive us to where peace survives.

Why should there be war?

Milky Way above Bromo

Alive

Treasure’s treasured, why
In tombs guarded by legends?
It’s secret’s secrets.

——————————————————-/

I’ve often thought that people living in this society is either living right at the bars or above the bars. It’s either we force ourselves to enjoy comfort that gives us uncomfortable consequences OR we comfortably enjoy whatever we have for comfort with just-right consequences. Today I learnt that there might be some super rich living in an area which “normal” millionaires here won’t even think as a good place to live. I read a news about a millionaire who in fact lives under their own bar with his family. Extraordinary!

So?

Ah! Life is just like that! There are choices to make and people make choices which (they think) they deserve.

Nothing is more liberating knowing that life still offers me wonderful news. It has proven me that life can be NOT-WYSIWYG. I would not imagine someone mistook my car as a grab car, while I were a super duper rich girl waiting for my friends to get on my Honda Vezel. 😃

Weekend, weekend! Happy weekend!

finally feeling so liberated and relieved to have found this news! this city is still “alive”!

Chimney

Does it suffocate
Or release? Up to the sky
Or stuck in the black?
Meet the wind. Fly to the far.
Let the chimney nobly stand.

————————————————————-

Chimney is a symbol of industrial era like church for religiosity, tower for secularity and all kinds of stars of spirituality.

Yet I found different interpretation of mine on chimney through Japanese books reading (very very elementary, all hiragana and katakana, I can only remember 15 kanji so far, hell yeah!). Chimney can be a symbol of fairy tales, dreams, ideas and creativity emerging from the dark, beautiful stories. What else? Ya, just use imagination to find what clicks in mind until the word “chimney” meets its lighter connotation against the one in paragraph 1.

Reading the books, I can’t deny some people really get blessed with extraordinary imaginary world and ability to materialise what’s in it by intertwining the intangible blessings with the tangible ones. Like the writer whose books I’ve read.

God bless you, Akihiro Nishino (should be with ~san). Thanks for the books you’ve written.

Read. Read. Read.

Read the letters. Read the lessons. Read between the lines.

🏭

find the Chimney Town in you 🏭
dark but glowing – isn’t that paradoxically beautiful?

Don’t Kill Your Dreams

A dream, Beloved,
Is roots absorbing nutrient
In any seasons.

———————————————————-

Teak wood tree will shake all her leaves to fall off in dry season and look like standing death log in order to save her energy in managing her metabolism. It happens until the first rain pours down again. Young leaves will come out. The forest will come alive again. Annually!

That’s what I learn from my childhood living in a district where teak wood forest was rich and well protected.

If I were a tree, I would dance and sing in its root in the spring, summer and autumn before dozing off in the winter.

That’s what I learn about having dreams in life.

Thank you! for everything

🥰

my dream is much simpler than his (I don’t even dream of visiting NY/USA, the only place I’m willing to visit is my office) but he is one of those inspiring me! he is mediocre (he said) just like me (I said) but given so much by life❣️

Home

A home, Beloved
Not an outlook— it’s the soul
That hugs when inside.

—————————————————————-

I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called “Rumah Bob” (literally Bob’s home) named after my cat Bob.

It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show “me” — the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.

That has motivated me to have a home that reflects “the me that I want to present”. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my taste— of course some were simply too pricy. 😩 I rejected all offers.

Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while I’ve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldn’t have searched through them if I didn’t have enough money — ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! 😂 Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.

I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my father’s home town) and build a home from scratch.

Architect – It’s very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying “Mbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. I’ll get back to you with a new draft.” Thanks to Mbak Novi.

The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think it’s a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.

I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.

A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.

May all beings be happy. 💝

front door, greeting family and friends with all my heart and soul – no fake people are welcome

A She In Words

A she, Beloved,
Is far and near, clear and blur,
But not true or false.

—————————————————————

Some people describe something so beautifully that others feel found and blessed. Those people are called the wise.

Weekend is rich with memes and kitchen; a bit chaotic with laundry and rain. Like a she she is! 🤩

All memes: from Pinterest