No Cure (Ibn ‘Arabi)

Without him I die
and with him’s no better
With or without him
longing’s the same

I found him, finding
what I hadn’t foreseen,
the cure and disease
as equal fevers

His silhouette flares
as we draw near
each other and
burns more proud

The deeper the harmony
the sharper the pain
Measure for measure
as decreed


The above is poem excerpted from below book — one that well explains how love consumes good soul. By simply loving life has shown what joy and pain can be perceived as either happiness or unhappiness depending on how deep or how true love is given meaning or taken for granted.

It has taken me quite long journey to finally connect the dots among the manifestation of love, pain, joy, harmony. It takes whole life to refine love and it takes big love to refine life — a vicious circle that keeps the fire burns, light flares and smoke billows bringing hope up to the sky.

“Life is light. Life is true.”

May all beings be happy.


Tarjuman Al-ashwaq (The Translator of Desires)


Are the beats in my heart.
Whereabout your heart
Am I in?

Are the water of a vase.
Whereabout your vase
Am I of?

Are the -ness at my nothing.
Whereabout your thing
Am I at?

There is silence,
And it answers me through.
I am nowhere about

when the water is gone, all is dead only dried leaves and air 🙏🏼


A background
Is redone.
A painting
Is restarted
And again
And again.
Maybe one morning
She will restart
One more
And finally get it done.
There is peeping light
Highlighting the canvas
Glowing with a new story
Sweeter to tell.


i don’t know when this work is going to complete – it is constantly a new start because of the artist’s unprofessional insecurity

the recipient is impatiently waiting, a deadline must be set — ok, ok 🙏🏼

Woodpecker’s Messages

She has heard bird news,
Sending messages
Through Morse Code.
Dots, dashes, spaces—

She has heard numbers, words, punctuations,
Telling stories
About no hope.
Acceptance, letting go, moving on—

She has heard songs, poems, winds,
Springing in heart
Warmly and gently.
Future is brighter only with clarity.

She has heard a woodpecker
Reminding her of signals and signs
In every dance of nature
To be enjoyed and understood.

She has heard of you
Giving blocks and traps
To redirect her to her own path
To happiness.

She has heard of heaven
Approving whatever she’d do
As long as she’s happy and safe
Without disturbing life.

She has heard
Dews imbuing morning to refresh,
Twilight whispering night to rest.
Life is truly a woodpecker’s Morse Code.

She has heard
And she closes her eyes,
But not ears
As long as she’s happy and safe.

Thank you, Michael Lai for again allowing me to use your poetic pictures to illustrate a poem of mine that has been poking me since forever. 🙏🏼

Bay Woodpecker Pecking a Hole in the Tree (4 Photos)

All Is Good Work

What is work, my love?
Office, site visit, kitchen,
all rooms to fulfil.


Work is both those weekdays I am paid by my employer and weekends and holidays when I spend more from what I earn on weekdays. Both I do with all my heart and soul.

Thank you for everything.

May all beings be happy.

ironed clothes make good days of mine, that’s why i iron most of my clothes even those for sleeping 💝 i love myself 😁

late lunch after ironing 🥰 my kitchen loves me 😁

after lunch i finished making “rujak serut” for the next one week — one box per day 😇 to continue morning sliced fruit during Tapa Brata, i modify it to morning rujak serut 😁

Thanksgiving’s Day

They celebrate it
For all
Even if a bit salty.


i dissolve sadness with cooking 💝👍🏽

they use Botox to keep good skin, I bothok 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

yum! a little but too salty, i added another sprinkle of salt

all in less than one hour — not icl the steaming process though

another Javanese bayleaf


Javanese bayleaf

banana leaf is expensive here so even using the yellowed one doesn’t make me undignified 😀 when i was a child, i harvested it for free for play

bothok recipe: tempe, grated coconut, dried anchovy, shallot, garlic, chili, galangal, Javanese bayleaf, spring onion, salt and brown sugar


What is easy
But hard to do?
It is
To relax
Where sensations are alien,
When vibrations are not aligned.
It takes training to all muscles.
It takes experience to all moods.
It takes willingness to all senses.
It takes time to all paces.
Today she says
I need all universe
To relax.


this is a super different weekend of mine — my sensitive senses really have to cope with many: voices and sounds, whispers and screams, fragrance and odours, sights and scenes, heat and humidity, calmness and cheers, quietness and crowd, curiosity and satisfaction, bitter and sweet; thanks God for the beanie bag — yet I still want to vomit 😃


Smiling at a weekend
Makes air fresher and lighter.
A place that’s choking—

My best friend in Ubud is an active committee member of Bali Spirit Festival; she invites me to enjoy one day free pass after my Tapa Brata for today.

She knows very well I don’t enjoy crowd well yet she insisted that I try to experience an ambiance that might enrich my life. Thank you, I am now in.

I collected my wristband at the entrance, met my friend at the media center she managed then browsed around. A lot I didn’t imagine before. Not only the offered activities and products but also the visitors and participants.

While the activities and products are still easy for me to digest, the way the visitors dress is more shocking to me; half-naked might not be for myself but I can still understand that many bule (the white people in Indonesian language) are half-dressed due to hotter temperature in South East Asia, but almost naked…

Anyway my best friend has changed my curiosity into smiles— very wide smile….

I am enjoying my weekend!

the pink wristband for one day pass – got it free; thank you, De Nov!

the inner entrance inside Puri Padi Hotel where the festival is taking place


loving it!

another one

art is dominating the venue — loving it!

hungry? never worried 💝 — more choices other than this one

my favourite!

still heliconia 💝

one of those blinding me (the mildest for my eyes, that almost naked lady with backpack) — this is not a beach please…. 😎 i don’t have the heart to take more pictures 😏 i know what my friend will say to me “that’s why you can’t live in Bali, stay in Singapore, safer for your brain and mind”

stage for the (spiritual) music performance later afternoon — not being arrogant but after so much to learn and unlearn and relearn, to me all is spiritual without label so let me skip this spiritually-labeled music

this is the safest place for me to just drink tea and browse around aromatherapy oil in the market — will spend my time here until I meet my friend again ❣️

on a beanie bag under a young durian tree 💝

will i be back next time? 😁 Yoda said “your path you must decide, Jedi” 😂

Back Online

Life is just like this:
A line with two ends. Circle—
Choose the best angle.


They released us from the silence on May 5 at 11am before lunch time and gave us our gadgets back at 4pm. We were so excited to talk than to play the gadgets; we gathered in the dining hall and shared what we experienced during the noble silence.

We didn’t die without gadgets, no we didn’t. Yet we don’t die because of gadgets, either. Gadgets are just a tool to use wisely.

Each of us couldn’t thank more for everything.

May all beings be happy.


Pak Merta, our meditation teacher

Pak Kourma — our daily instructor

Pak Souca — our daily caretaker 🙏🏼

our last session of meditation was loving kindness meditation for daily life; the video camera was prepared for sharing session at the end

Happy Birthday, U2!

May 5 is today.

This is my second Tapa Brata and both of them are special. My first in 2018 was special because Pak Merta Ada’s teacher (Merta Ada is my health meditation teacher) a Buddhist high priest visited his retreat center and gave us blessings. This second one is because we found that May 5 is his birthday! He was born on May 5, 1957 — a long journey of a meditation teacher and healer.

Someone is also celebrating his birthday across the ocean. May 5 becomes more special today this time. A journey of a silent traveler.

Happy birthday Pak Merta and dear KU. Both of you have a special place in my heart.

For Pak Merta, we immediately prepared a green sarung rangrang. For KU I thoughtfully prepared a poem.


Alone the bird flies
From a nest on a tall tree
It knows where home is.


May 5 2023 is when the biggest moon rises this year; Waisak (Vesak) is already celebrated in some countries (on May 6 in other countries) — my meditation teacher is celebrating his birthday, another life teacher of mine is celebrating his

an “emergency” birthday present for Pak Merta Ada from our class, wrapped in a beautiful fancy paper from the nearest small shop nearby to wrap a sarung rangrang I originally bought for my additional spread and table cloth — what a beautiful togetherness in this meditation class 💝

Good Morning from Ubud

It is a good morning
Maybe afternoon for you.
This morning I still breathe blessings
Wrapped by songs from the bird,
Back home by hum of machines.
Both are good
In a blessed morning.
Know, beloved
That I remember you
Who might enjoy the day
And ready to welcome a weekend.
Everything is good when in Ubud,
I know everything is good
If we let blessings contaminate the air.


when i breath fresh air, i feel more me

good morning from Puri Saraswati

not a water person but love seeing water, quiet morning in front of the pool with birds singing and voice of sweep stick raking the ground

good morning to a lazy snail

another one

good morning to the unknown neighbour that might be still sleeping

Saturday Night in Central Ubud

Sky invites me
To swarm around a show
That is glistened with colours
In a Saturday night.

Rain almost falls
But is held until the show ends
Simply to tell me
You are welcome.

These steps walk me
To where blessings are.
These breaths inhale me
To where peace is.

Among the crowd I find a calmness
With my own self I find merriness
All is well
All is good

I enjoy Saturday night in Central Ubud.

i normally stay rather far from city center of Ubud but this one night i wanted to stay in the city where dance performances are located in many different spots — this is the side gate of Puri Saraswati Dijiwa Ubud opening to the lotus garden

tonight’s performance in lotus garden was Tari Janger (janger dance), maybe next time 🙏🏼

i wanted to watch Legong Dance performance so i walked to Pura Saren Ubud which was 200 meters away from where i stayed

was the first to enter to get a seat in the 1st row and later found it was not at all the 1st row 😂

seeing the preps is already exciting!

musicians were getting ready

Tari Pendet (welcoming dance) — i learnt this dance as a child, felt like wanted to laugh remembering how funny i was dancing with my sister 😂

Tari Topeng #1 — sorry i don’t know the name; watching with many types of spectators whose joy might be over the limit and blocks others’ view 😂

Tari Legong – the primary show 👏🏼

Tari Legong — i wanted to watch this simply because i have a sleeping gown with legong dancer on it 😀

Tari Oleg Tamulilingan

Tari Kupu-Kupu (butterfly dance) inserted as part of Oleg Tamulilingan

Tari Oleg Tamulilingan (dancing bees)

Tari Oleg Tamulilingan (dancing bee)

Tari Topeng #2 — sorry i don’t know the name

we didn’t know who was behind the mask but he did perform so well and we enjoyed it 💝

thanks for the show! 🙏🏼 happiness is an ambiance shareable with those we don’t know and we probably don’t care to know — God bless all 💝


In sanctuary,
Where birds from paradise sing,
Clear mirror reflects—

Out of office is set meaning that work is safe-kept for a while. Only silence remains. Even my boss and my mother— two whose calls I’ll never reject in normal situation can’t contact me. They know where I am so they won’t contact me. 😎

All my postings will be automatically scheduled starting May 1.

I pray that you all be blessed with good life.



my goddess, Saraswati 💝

just wanna be offline for a while 🌸

i love to be with those knowing how to reflect me and themselves clearly ♥️

it is safe 💝

accompanied by two paradise birds in Ubud before starting my sacred silence tomorrow in Baturiti


Green is what is fresh,
What is starting peacefully.
It is envy, too.


What is greener than our neighbours’ grass? The sea that bears secret of love and avocado that bears secret of health.

Have a green weekend!


today’s lunch 💚 egg with peas in coconut milk, avocado and navel orange juice


Who are friends, my dear?
The perfumers? The blacksmiths?
Whoever, they smell.


Disclaimer: I am not spreading Islamic teaching. I am just telling how fragrance and good friends have manifested in my life.


The most frequent gift I give to my closest female circle is fragrance, either perfume or soap. Yesterday morning before meeting my best friends, I decided to browse some fragrance. As normal there is never preferred brand about perfume. It is always about a click in the heart.

Indeed happiness can cost some $/c although it might be too small and can be an insult if given as currency; yet it must cost attention and/or time to appreciate the same. So perfume is a best option — no one has complained so far.

What about soap? Only to those preferring soap to perfume

I am happy to make myself happy by making my circle happy because they have been making me happy. Imagine your friends feel good and be scented at the same time.

This I do because I follow literally beautiful hadith by the Prophet as below.

Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the parable of good and bad company is that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a pleasant smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes, or you will notice a bad smell.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5534, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2628

Authenticity grade of hadith: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

couldn’t help smelling all

Dream of Home

If home’s made of dreams,
It’s green, warm and musical;
Or nothing at all.


exhausted like heaven! the toilets and cleanliness imprison me, the railway system bids me a farewell — not a perfect home of mine 💝 Singapore and Indonesia is the best home of mine 💝

home is where new dreams are ready to come true 💝

dandelions ready to fly 💝


There is great mountain
Not deserved to climb
How much ever best view will be up there.
There is good hill
Deserved to walk up
How much ever others give up its ordinary view.

She decided to walk up the hill
And found some big trees
With singing birds and hopping squirrels
Enjoying the breeze.
There is enough space to have a picnic
Until the sun sets beautifully.


there is elevator in Osaka Castle so i should not skip climbing the castle as in Himeji Castle (said my colleague); yet i still didn’t as the queue was too long — walking the garden then having a fine dining with a good friend was a much better choice 🌸

thanks for your Osaka vibe; proven that Osaka is much warmer than Tokyo 💝 see you again in June

Perfect Imperfection

Is life abundant?
She asked.
They said,
When you have everything.
She walked away,
There was never everything
In imperfection.

She says.
Life is generous.
They say,
Because you have everything.
She walks away,
There is never perfection
In everything.

Life is abundant,
She agrees.
They ask,
Do you have everything? You are not perfect.
She walks away,
There is always perfection
In anything imperfect.


anger has long gone but sadness is still lingering like a hungry fox hunting a chicken 🙃 yet life is so generous to me offering sweet imperfection and simplest perfection that might be just a dream for those perfect perfection — so thank you as always! 💝

giving myself time and space to live again 💝


Where is sun when sets?
Where is moon in the day light?
They share love through time.

Interaction is about reciprocity; even when we are alone, we are interacting with some tool of life or with the deep self within.

When it is not reciprocated, interaction is not genuinely true.


a grandma with her grandson

a mother with her son

family gathering

feeding two grandsons

let’s climb!

hi, dove! said the little boy

what’s in the water? said he


what is that over there? ahh hope! ☺️

am i your headache? no, you are my universe 😂

don’t move, just smile! someone is taking our picture ☺️

she is asking her cam to see what she sees 🙏🏼

our daughter is playing, i am sitting near her

hey! clear up! i am gonna land!

electrocution my a**! 😁