Masa-Masa (A Song That Believes in Time)

Time’s a messenger
Telling her what is waiting
In every milestone—
Her comrades, trees and water
Read the signs to reach the home.

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Some peoples are born laid-back with all the gifts from Mother Nature. Life make them realise nature is as tough as it is rich and so those peoples shape their bodies as hard as rock, their muscle wire, their bones iron, their mind clear water, their intention straight arrow. Time is the witness. Time is Messenger. Time will not betray human beings who work hard and pray.

I’m thankful to be born in a rich archipelago and re-born repeatedly among hardworking peoples.

Weekend, Weekend…. Washing, ironing, cooking— repeated milestones, be patient.

🦸🏻‍♀️

🪶

Forever

A strand of white pearls
Harvested in the deep sea
Bedazzles her neck.

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There is time when I regret of what’s done and nervous about what will happen. Why did I do that? I should have done this. What if I fail again? I am not good enough.

I used to think money was everything with happiness but I prove that money is the biggest illusion in life that I misunderstood. Now I consider money should be merely a tool, never a purpose. Yet I still think of what if my company stock price decreases? 😁

I used to look for happiness and protection in a relationship. With experiences I become strongly convinced that only a healthy relationship with the self can help me cope with problems; moreover, without healthy relation with my self any relationship with others won’t work well. Yet I still don’t heal from broken heart easily and still think whether or not I will meet someone I can share some simple happiness and shelter with.

I was between life and death situations more than once for some illness before, and so helpless about future. And gradually I realise that death can come anytime even when people are healthy. Yet I still hope I die when I let go of any confusion and live in clarity.

However, there is time when I know that only in the now I can accept everything. In the now I can shed tears with mixture of gratefulness for what’s breaking my heart and blessings of what’s boosting the quality of life. In the now I can smile just by seeing piling laundry waiting for ironing. In the now I can see the canvas is the door of self healing. In the now I can imagine sending a cake full of love for my loved ones who live in many different places, whom I cannot visit with many reasons. In the now I can see shades of real and true happiness in each and every experience from wake up to sleep.

Thank you for the now and now and now that form a strand of pearls called forever.

I live forever until the last now meets with the first now.

Al Fatihah to all of my loved ones across the oceans. I bless you happiness.

Salaam….

back on track, contemplating with colours
do things with love, the definition of love? enjoying good things to the fullest or, in bad time enjoying the process with patience 💝
thank you, Emily for the message 🪶🙏🏽

Just Be

Jasmine is jasmine,
White, fragrant, tiny flower.
It sits in silence
Never bothered by roses
That stun eyes with the redness.

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borrowed from https://banjarmasin.tribunnews.com/2019/01/30/pesona-kambang-sarai-martapura-segini-keuntungan-perajinnya
jasmine and rose flower garlands – Little India’s gems

No Distance Ever Be

Distance, Beloved,
Isn’t how far you’re from me.
It’s how soft the voice
Can reach your heart. These whispers
Slide through the space of the rain.

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Have a good weekend! 🌱

Lily, Salt Or Drop of Ocean?

They gild the lily,
Making them salt to the sea.
Ocean in a drop—

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When I was very young, I could desperately envy those who were physically beautiful, intelligently wise and, spiritually mature at the same time. How could people be blessed with such full readiness to face the complex life and completeness to address its various issues? I’m sure I wasn’t alone; many human beings were on the same boat with me.

Yet getting older has helped me not want anything but more consistently feeling comfortable to be my own self and realising that those perfect people only looked perfect because they were perceived through imperfect eyes (my young ones 😉).

Proofs and revelation then taught me acceptance to live with limitation, imperfection and physical flaws. In many ways I’ve seen blessings in me more than the perfect.

Being ordinary has saved me from getting high demands to be a gorgeous woman who should move gracefully in front of the crowd, a pious person who should perform religion disciplinedly or a wise friend who should give good advices when needed anytime. I’m blessed!

Being ordinary has driven me to live with only two goals: to enjoy being my own self and to do what’s best in life to be as much beneficial in my short life. With not much to choose, life is forced to be the integration between persistence and dedication, a commitment of body, mind and soul.

Fortunately being flawed is like an ocean. Ocean is full of beauty especially the deeper the diver is willing to explore; like Captain Nemo who found beauty in the depth of the sea that wasn’t witnessed by those who never traveled in Nautilus. However, thousands of cubics of any possible wastes are also dumped to the vast water: plastics, oil, waste water, many kinds of garbage and probably millions of memories drawn by broken hearts. A perfect beauty full with paradox!

Rumi reminds through one of his verses “You are not a drop in the ocean; you are the entire ocean in a drop”. A perfection in imperfection—

Truly an existence is perfect when with natural flaws and complete acceptance.

Nothing is more blessed than accepting one’s own self and taking care of one along the journey.

Summary of today’s conversation with my best friend 🐣

May all beings be happy 💝

be perfume, even best eyes can’t see but good nose can smell

Make Peace

Make peace, Beloved,
With the softest anger in.
Growing peaceful stars—

—————————————————-

🌱

Weekend, bring the peace intact.

Salaam 🙏🏼

batik truntum to cover my working chair; truntum is taken from a Javanese word “tumaruntum” meaning growing

Moment

Moment, Beloved
The breeze before falling rain
Greets the earth. A joy—

—————————————————————

Moment is when an experience gets clicked with all senses, falls on to the right-chosen meanings, stays for a longer time.

Yet each moment should vanish, fade away, blend into pixels of maturity in someone’s life. It will be forgiven, might be forgotten, must be learnt as life lessons. How delicious this life is for those who are willing to appreciate both shade and light. How beautiful life is as it is composed by millions of pixels of different experiences whose essence is memorable.

The more experience, the better? Yes, only when its essence is memorable. Its essence is memorable only when all senses are capturing the experience and reflecting it through lesson learnt. Or else, it is just motion gone with the tick-tock of a clock— not forgiven, not forgotten, no learnt-lesson.

Walking through the lanes around Masjid Sultan, sitting at the verandah of an old shop lot, reading new old-book from Wardah Books, drinking Turkish coffee, sucking the sweetness of kunefe, breathing the air right before the rain, hearing the warm chats from other tables are all motions which are waiting for the moment to disclose beauty before things end. The taste of life!

Weekend is always much appreciated through slow pace, to balance the fast-paced demanding targets that are relevant for a preparation before the next beneficial life journey.

May all beings be happy.

books before coffee, coffee before sugar, sugar before smiles
taken it many many times, still favourite Turkish food of mine
dear Lamp, is anyone living inside of you?

Alaturka Mediterranean and Turkish Restaurant, gonna be back again (and again) 🥇

a pretty corner
eyes everywhere, omnipresent omniscient

Moment To Simply Live

Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—

————————————————

I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.

One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.

When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.

Time to prepare.

Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.

May all beings be happy. 💝

next one week flower arrangement
enjoy the moment
extended appreciation to those in my heart
someday flowers will be daily life for me, not weekly anymore

Chicken And Egg

If you love yourself,
Fry some eggs, sit on the porch,
Think of fried chicken.

———————————————————

When eating egg, why thinking about chicken? This mind is a monkey— nimble and energetic when awake. It only sleeps, when the holder is dead. I’m still alive so let the mind move freely, with a fence right on an edge of a cliff.

Happy weekend!

🐥🐣

yum yum!
beautiful tamagoyaki my version 🙊🙉🙈
isn’t it too big?
3 to 4

Hey, Trees!

Flowers look like leaves.
Beauty naturally built:
Maniltoa trees

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Let’s go biking! The lining maniltoa trees or handkerchief trees are waiting to greet.

Weekend! Yay!

maniltoa trees along YA 2

Photo borrowed from https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/environment/sgblooms-nparks-on-where-to-catch-the-second-flowering-season-of-the-year

Flower Buddy

Say hi to colours
Sent by the beauty across
The sea. Thanks, buddy!

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Flowers from a colleague who has the same hobby, working accompanied by flowers. A touch of cheerfulness boosts the immunity.

Thanks, MZ!

her lotus
her today’s daisy
chrysanthemum pompom

Can I Have Dessert Now? 😂

As much as she wants to make her mom happy with the best sacrifice of the day, her true colours are so adorable.

There is always something to compromise to keep a -ship afloat nicely, whether it is the load or the crew, never the rudder or the sail.

Weekend is sometimes better being couch potato…. 😎

Nuts!

Nuts ‘bout you she is,
Doesn’t mind if you know not.
Beautifully wrapped
By the hard shell from nature;
Sweetly tasted in silence—

———————————————————

Life is uniquely designed to be experienced differently to taste the same reality. This sweet is that sweet and it is called sweet….

….with spectrum of sweetness spread from zero to infinity

Is that?

a ramekin of nuts – crunchy, sweet, hard-shelled, softly-textured

Sheer Beauty

Flower, Beloved
Triggers moods or decoys dreams.
You are, Beloved
The beauty behind beauty.
Sheer in the dark to sharp eyes—

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When seeing this flower for the first time, I was wondering if it was plastic or real flower. That particular shape in the garland of real jasmine was still plastic in my head because when browsed in the Net, it was still found as plastic flower.

Until when found in Tekka Market. Oh goodness! It is a real flower! This flower exists! The flower seller said it is not easy to find and many use plastic to replace it for flower garland. No wonderrrrrr!

Browsing browsing browsing….

Ms Wiki said it is Calotropis Gigantea! And it is not something new. It’s been a flower scattered in front of the very eyes of mine back in dear homeland! We call it kapuk duri where I grew up; it is called biduri or widuri in Indonesian language.

You simply didn’t know that flower is hidden inside its crown, Self!

Some beauty lies behind beauty.

Salaam….

cute biduri 🥰

Duality Comprehended

Happy and healthy
Two to walk, to cook good food—
About the balance

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Have ever questioned why duality is everywhere? Right left. Hot cold. Bright dark. Name it.

So much about duality in which one finds oneness as the balance after these years of living and to many years to continue living— With less and less confusion for sure

Harmony

Black in white, white in black

Polarity well comprehended

Centeredness in busy hours

Distance between zero and infinity

May all beings be happy.

sour, sweet, curve, corner – such a nice flavour, a lime tart from a local shop yum yum!

Language of Dreams

Almost given up:
Milestones to reach the final.
Language of dreams

Japanese is almost as difficult as Arabic but I didn’t find hard time learning Arabic as the brain was much fresher with more time to focus on lessons by then. I almost gave up this Japanese lesson as I felt too slow. Until today mixing up between シ and ツ still happens again and again. Different forms of adjective and noun when tenses change still confuse me. The crazy kanji has also tortured me. Why did I even learn this language? 🤪 Drama! 🥰

But hey! I won’t stop until I can read and compose beautiful poems in Japanese. Too much a dream? Ok, I won’t stop until I can present the company’s Code of Conduct in Japanese! Making more sense! 😁

If the teacher isn’t this good, I might have given up earlier. The Sensei is such an expert of Japanese language and culture that she can make me understand why those Japanese I’ve met have behaved so strangely not as I expected Japanese I thought would be. 😝

Some people are just so “like that” regardless they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Singaporean or any other….. Life is so interesting, take it easy!

God bless all….

One of the easy thing I was frustrated of….! What a stupid me! Look at the ugly frustrated hand writing! 🥶

Friendship

These two sisters are best friends. True friendship is precious and beautiful: relaxing, joking and teasing around, no prejudice, no pretension, agreement, disagreement, entertaining, no gaslighting, at the same time enlightening.

They talked about regret to let go, connection among all things, the death, relationship with parents and siblings, misunderstood religiosity, God’s love, being stupid, making mistakes and so on and so forth.

God bless these two sisters and true friendship on earth.

Shahnaz Hague and Soraya Haque, God bless you.

Listening Class

Listen to the rants
Of those needing some ears. Who?
Maybe your own self—

I need fresh air and different taste today! Pretty hot day and my bike really needs long rest. So I decided to book a taxi to Bussorah Street. Why not MRT? Today the automatic-smile-to-people apps of mine broke down and my ears needed some entertainment from random drivers who -if you are lucky or unlucky depending on how you perceive it- will tell a lot of stories about the Gov, the people, etc.

And Universe answered! The driver was perfectly being upset with a passenger that scolded at him because the passenger thought he made a longer journey and so the passenger had to pay $16 instead of $9.

“Walao! He think such distance can ah with only $9? If he live in Sentausa, he sure got money whaaaaat?! And if always take taxi, he sure know it is at least $15!”

“He think because he is foreigner he ok do what he like haaaaaah?!”

“You know he said “f***ing ***hole” to me ! He think he got right say that to driver! This is first time I complain to my office about my passenger you know. Usually I don’t care la people bitter or not smile or not talk but this guy ah scolding ah you think ok ah?”

Oops! If that was really the words said to the driver, that was rude!

He ranted more…. actually the whole trip I was all ears for him. Thanks God for my patience today.

“You probably need some coffee, Sir,” said I.

“Ya la. I so angry! I didn’t take passenger after him, straight to coffee shop to have coffee then took your order la. Still angry you know! My company already took my complaint. Maybe also need blacklisted passenger you know. People should not behave rude to drivers blah blah blah”.”

“You need to walk to the street. Cannot enter, not allowed one, you know right?”

“Oh, no worry, Sir. I know this area quite well. Let me walk. This is the fare, please take the change, for your noon coffee.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

I walked down the street to go to a small bookstore which sells books that I won’t find in Kinokuniya. This hidden gem among all those nice restaurants feels much more special in this pandemic. There are still many people but probably only 30% of normal days when tourists are swarming like alate around the light.

This was a nice day! I brought home some reading and good food!

Mission accomplished!

Time to listen to the Self!

Salaam

reading is like listening to self, you decipher your own intelligence through other’s writing