(Im)Perfection

Imperfection, Love:
Perfection on the way. Back
To imperfection.

Perfection, Beloved,
Imperfection on the way.
Back to perfection.

No one is perfect as everyone is imperfection in perfect cycles.

How perfect you are, don’t boast. You are simply “rotten body in progress”. How imperfect you are, wise up. You are the soul “shining in progress”. Your body is deteriorating, your soul is rising.

….

Only if you are willing to slow down.

Enjoy the rest of this weekend!

💝

Rawon set is Eastern Java’s specialty, perfect for weekend before all the home cleaning and ironing and this and that blahblahblah 🥰
the salted egg makes it perfect for those liking extra condiment 👍🏽 oh my it was a torture to this tongue 😌
mix all! lime was needed, a missing condiment this time 🙃
should be a bit longer, tonight is the perfect time
spring onion is the last to plunge in 🥰
beef in
keluwak (black nut), kefir lime leaves, Javanese bay leaves, garlic, shallots, coriander, pepper, galangal, lemongrass

True Message

Thunders, Beloved,
Not sign of rain, but lightning—
Know their true message.

Some messages are exactly like how people play “karambol” (carrom board in English), the player may strike one disk to target another disk. The message is as if for A but actually for B. Or the message is like this but actually that.

Don’t get fooled, dear self.

Welcome, new week full of true messages. 😘

May all beings be happy.

believe true message, only when it’s voiced 🙏🏼

Sweet Welcome

Welcome, Beloved.
Home is where gifts are opened,
Flowers are blooming.

Welcome home! said they. 💝

3 waiting for 1 week and still in tact like what the couriers’ pictures sent 🥰
new bud in the bathroom 🥰
1 more tiny in the bathroom gang
3 new stems of buds from balcony gang 🥰

Wasted

Wasted, Beloved,
None. In life all’s by design
With scales and measures.

Good morning, Saturday. Thanks for opening the weekend gate. I’m flying back home soon; can’t wait for the sweet surprises!

Salaam. 🙏🏼

not wasted, just not wanted – didn’t eat the yolk not because of health reason but because it was runny, I should have asked if it was hard boiled – in life consciously decide what’s wanted as the Designer is kindly and intelligently making wishes come true in precision and details 🙏🏼

Mood

Bad mood is hunger
Draining mind and tainting heart.
Can food heal the pain?

Certain type of bad mood doesn’t go away easily. It can sit silently consuming emotion for almost 12 hours. Some can be cured with food, some can’t. We still need food anyway.

Unfortunately no one is responsible as the cause, it popped out just like that with the falling rain; yet the self is responsible to get through it patiently.

😌

from this – kepok banana –
both birds and humans love it
to this for late lunch – failed to quiet the mind
from this – Ipoh pomelo, the best one on earth
to this for early dinner – at least cooling the heat in heart gradually

Gifts to You

These gifts, Beloved,
Peace and love hummed to loved ones
Living here and there

One of the Javanese and Islamic teachings that I will never leave for the rest of my life is sending gift of prayer containing peace and love to my loved ones wherever they are, whether they are physically wandering on earth or spiritually gathering around life.

I believe that my passing-away ancestors are living in different levels of consciousness (call it hell, heaven or somewhere in between up to your liking) and they are watching their offsprings without being able to directly communicating with us. They deserve my gift as they have been my line to get the chance to be here now. They deserve peace and love as they have done the best they could to draw a meaningful family tree. Yes, some might have made silly mistakes but hey that’s what Buddhism calls “karma”. Yes, some might have caused shameful stains on the family picture but hey that’s what Islam calls “alam syahadah”. Whoever and whatever they were, all of my ancestors deserve good wishes sung to them.

I also wish peace and love to those I love still breathing the air. Wishing all of them health and happiness. 💝

We Javanese Muslim will send gift by reciting some Javanese prayer closed with Alfatihah, a short chapter in the Quran containing peace, love, praise, forgiving, protection and guidance. A basket of beautiful wishes—

How light this heart is to be sure that all whom I love are well.

Alfatihah to all whom I love. You’re loved. You’re blessed. Don’t shop too much. 😁

Happy weekend!

born as part of a nation doesn’t make someone higher or lower – being born a Javanese, Aborigine, African, Arab, Chinese, English, Indian, Japanese, Korean, Sundanese, Vietnamese or whatever is a gifted tool to contribute the best quality of culture in sustaining and respecting humanity – respect yourself, respect other human beings 💕
if not respected (by you), your origin will be a boomerang (spun around hitting you) – be grateful for being born as you are, never wasted, fully loved, surrounded by beloved only if you accept who you are 💕

Pleasure

Pleasure, Beloved,
Sweet moment under the rain—
Sunshine is peeping.

Today’s biking started at 6:30am and ended at 7:15am as the rain began earlier – weather forecast reported rain would fall at around 8am. We decided to fold the bikes in my home then drive to “Kueh & Mee” for breakfast.

Conversation is never boring with this good friend. Any topics about her children are my favourite as those children give me inspiration to be always young in heart how old ever I am and optimistic about life how much low my mental is. Topic about her wanting to go back to work is never nice because that’s when she questions if she is capable of doing this or that; while she is one of intelligent friends I have —- she is an excellent chemist who lets her expertise hibernate and allows her husband to lead a brilliant professional success.

After today’s chatty laughing breakfast, she went home then picked up her husband in Changi Airport, arriving from a biz trip. A long list of tasks were still waiting for her, making me lose reasons to complain about life.

She is one of my favourite people inspiring me with their being ordinary the way they are.

Thank you, Mbak Eva! God bless you. 🥰

one of Indonesian guilty pleasure, lupis 🤓
kopi tarik kosong (Indonesian/Malay pulled coffee with no sugar) + an empty paper cup of (eaten) hard boiled eggs

Heart

Warm heart, Beloved,
Where flowers bloom in hot day,
Roots enjoy diving—

I cooked cow heart for lunch. The taste of the heart was more special than before. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t eaten cow heart for more than 2 years. Or the heart was owned by a kind cow. 😂

The dish reminded me of a joke among my circle.

A: Why don’t you eat beef?
B: How would you eat that whose eyes are so beautiful. They must have good heart!
A: But why do you pork?
B: &@$@?! Why don’t you eat pork?
A: How would you eat that whose look is so cute like Ms Piggy. Their heart must be romantic!

Weekend is almost here! Let’s enjoy it with warm heart!

💕

don’t “eat your own heart”, eat cow’s 😎 home cooking isn’t always healthful but it’s always clean 😍

Good Words

Good words, Beloved,
Postcard sent in holiday
Showing what one’s seen.

My mother’s question after saying hello at lunch time is always “What did you cook today?” And she’ll say “Delicious!” when I send the food picture although she might say differently when tasting it. Both are happy, and that’s the most important thing.

May all beings be happy.

today’s work in rainy day

What Are You

Behind what’s seen,
What are you, Beloved?

Root of a tree
Who grows in in the dark,
Breathes with the creepy crawly,
Sleeps in none of seasons.
Silently grateful for
What’s not understood.

Cartilage of a human body
Who is not hard enough to be bone,
Not soft enough to be muscle,
Comfortably sits in between,
Catches messages delivered
By whisper, breeze and wind.

Jasmine sambac of the garden
Who is humbly tiny, clustering;
Blooms the whole year,
Leaves much fragrance to the day,
Deep meaning to celebration
Before she dries brown.

Helium of the sun
Light, low, odourless, tasteless, insipid—
It’s peaceful to be low profile,
It’s more joyful and freer,
It’s easier to be me,
Closer to Gaia.

Yet no secret bandit among
The rascals in the block!

What?!

What what?!
Don’t ask. I can be anything
But
You.

Rainy weekend is good especially when just have to shortly reply “Ok!” to a message saying “Heavy rain. Impossible to bike. Rain check ya.”

💝

🥰 can watch this forever! lovable rascals!

Weekend

Weekend? Relaxing, cooking, laundry, house-cleaning. Rain makes it cool! Sweet!

buy the Nutella, grill the banana
buy the bread, cook the chicken
drizzle some honey to the sour mango
ready to iron
surviving aglaonema 🥰 the leaves are getting smaller, needs more soil
some just love to leaf – patiently waiting for her flowering
surviving kencur! 😘
surviving Javanese coriander 😘
dollar leaves (zamia) 😁

Lazed Days

Lazed two, Beloved,
Wrapping up five passing by;
Seven in a pack—

Always ready to work, always ready to rest 💝

hello, my babies…. 😘

these duo are in slow mode for almost 3 years, yet they give me the extraordinary rooting! 🥰

third flower after the second departed early – thanks for welcoming me 😘

With Love

With love, Beloved,
All is done and completed.
How would she not thank?

one of the doors of my humble abode should be adorned with climbing rose like this 💝
and one of the windows, so when the window is opened I breathe love from the pink roses 💗

Clay But Not A Kendi

Clay art, Beloved,
Hugged by earth, hardened by sun
Livened by heaven—

In Java island clay was commonly used not only to make art work but also as material to make kitchenware, eating utensils, plant pots, etc. Kasongan, Yogyakarta is one of famous villages of clay work industry in which different types of clay art and utensils are mass produced or customised as per buyers’ request.

One clay utensil that I often used in my childhood was kendi, a clay jug used to contain drinking water – it makes drinking water smell subtly earthy and feels cooly fresh. Children would dispense water from the jug to glass to drink; adult would usually just lift the kendi slightly above mouth level and dispense the water directly to their open mouth without touching the tip of the kendi mouth to their mouth — whoa so difficult to explain!

Kendi is not however commonly used as the function is now replaced by plastic containers and refrigerator. It is now mostly used in Javanese traditional ceremony or in some households that still want to keep some traditional way of life. I prepare 5 kendi to compliment the fridge in my Javanese home — 5 kendi are ready before the dining table is ready 😁

kendi – used to contain drinking water at home, outside the gate of Javanese houses (for passers by to drink when thirsty), in the field, almost everywhere

Kendi is actually an acronym (kerata basa in Javanese grammar) of “kendalining diri” (kendalining: control, diri: self) or self control. In Javanese culture kerata basa is used to tie a good teaching to what people is doing. So, practically kendi is not a personal utensil like spoon and fork, anyone can share it. Through the name Javanese know that using kendi, there shall be some self control applied. When someone drinks directly from the clay jug, one should do it carefully to minimise the risk of dropping the kendi and break it; and not greedily gulp all water as other family members or friends also need fresh water in that hot day.

Culturally (at least according to Greek mythology and Quran) human being’s physical is created from clay —like kendi— that is given soul by the Source and so we are breathing. So it is natural that human beings are fundamentally attached to earth. Yet how much ever human beings want to stay as firm, strong, young, beautiful like the clay coming from earth, it is not possible. There is breathing that fans the “fire of life” in the clay body and when it stops “fanning”, the clay body stops functioning.

Can’t live forever, some like to play “forever pretending”. Pretending to be young or beautiful or firm with plastic surgery. Pretending to be happy with some drugs. Pretending to be more precious than others with fake luxury and conspiracy. Pretending this and that.

Ah! That game! That’s fun indeed! Yet it is not doable for me. Being human is not an easy job, pretending makes it even difficult and complicated and unnecessary. So please count me out. 💃🏽

Hey! If some people want to live forever or stay young, firm, strong, beautiful and fully functional; they’d better be a kendi. 😂

Salaam….

we are too clay art work who will someday be bodily back to earth, while some part will “evanesced”, be absorbed back to the source – before the time, I’ll keep this self enhanced to being human in joy and glee humbly and originally 💝

(Racing) Weekend

Weekend morning, Love,
Grasses squirm by cold dewdrops;
Greeted by the sun.

Biking with those knowing how to race fairly is what weekend morning should be!

And when the ride is done everyone is just sitting at the river bank inhaling the smell of wet earth and scents of various plants under the sun that is hiding behind the rain clouds.

Happy weekend! 🚴🏼‍♂️🚴🏻🚴🏻‍♀️🚴🏼‍♂️🚴🏻🚴🏻‍♀️

nice to be around good friends sitting at the river bank seeing the water lilies,….
oh I forgot what it was
….putri malu (mimosa) among grasses,
climbing tendril,….
green green grass,….
lantana camara and….
…. couldn’t find its name!

The Gate

Sky gate, Beloved
Once opened, cannot be closed.
Blessings shower down.

How would it feel to be showered with rain of blessings? Intuition is truly a blessing.

Dear, Sky. Thanks for the bright half moon last night which kept reminding me to not regret for telling genuinely with no anger about my intuition that might have offended someone.

Intuition is to be listened. Intuition is not always popping out; yet once popping out, it is always right. Yes, yes, this person is better in to be genuine than to look gorgeous. 🙂

Let’s go out to breathe the freedom and victory. Today still with Blue, let Red take a rest. 💝

Salaam.

i will, forever

after morning prayer

(Stupid) Weekend

Weekend, Beloved,
When heaven moves to kitchen
Where AirPods are on—

It’s always good to hear from good and best friends especially at weekends in which time feels like unlimited, calls can be done while cooking or cleaning the house. Topics vary from food to rubbish, celebrity to annoying friends, spirituality to sexuality, neighbourhood to social media, history to future, measured dream to dreamy imagination, everything.

This morning a group call stopped abruptly in the middle of a topic “what’s your most interesting experience in social media”.

F1 (friend #1): You all know. We married.

F2 (friend #2): That’s happy. Try again.

F1: Scammer! It was long before this marriage. A guy put a French guy photo uploading activities of the rich handsome guy who was actually not himself and after one month I found that he was from an Asian country trying to get my money. It became a twisted plot when finally I found who he was. He made up stories that he lost his business, he tried many things but could not make it and had no choice but doing what he was doing.

F2: Was it the one you told me?

F1: Yes. You?

Me: I stalked my crush. I thought he played numbers to align with the numbers of my postings, followers and followings until finally I knew he was adjusting his numbers of postings, followers and followings to align with his fiancée’s numbers! 😫

F2: How did you know that she was the fiancée?

Me: Long story short: I found their photos having vacations to many different places every single year with one particular hashtag of their nicknames put together. They’re liking each other’s postings, too. Since then I stopped stalking him. I guess they are secretly married. Why was I so stupid? 😁

F2: Better stupid then knowing you are and so you learn. 🙂 Ok my turn. I watched porn videos.

F1, Me: What?! Where?!

F1: When?!

F2: 😂😂😂😂😂 Prank youuuuu! Of course not! I don’t have interesting experience in social media. I’m too busy with my work. Hey! Why are you both so excited? You want?

F1, Me: No!

F2: I do want.

F1: What? Say that again! I guess you have done it, you just don’t want to admit it! You’re a man and impossible to not watch that kind of videos! Don’t lie!

Me: Hmmm…. Ok, ok. That’s interesting. It’s fine just admit it.

F2: What’s wrong with you, ladies? I’m joking!

F1: (left group call)

Me: Are you there?

F2: (left group call)

Me: (feeling confused and stupid after talking to husband and wife who probably started a fight because of one failed joke)

What a (stupid) weekend! May all beings be happy.

Lesson learnt: plan your joke well esp in front of your wife! 😝

writing is about mixing time, place and characters from real plots 🥰 to tell the truth 🥰 gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!

Crossroads

Crossroads, Beloved,
A while gauging where to go—
Follow the North Star.

Today’s conversation with one best friend was a bit nostalgic. She talked about how she went to spiritual class (very common in my country to do so for religion or non-religion based teachings) until finally she quit at 45. Her reason was disappointment to teachers. She asked about me and I said quit at 30’s and my disappointment was to myself.

A stubborn student, I wouldn’t listen to what teachers told me to believe or to do. I would ask questions then believed only when choosing to believe; even with good explanation, I wouldn’t believe if not interested to believe.

One example of the fool was when a particular teacher gave “daily task” to recite “Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem”, I didn’t do it even he only asked me to recite it 10x a day, while the other two were 100x a day. “No, Teacher. Why do I have to do it? I already read it as part of Alfatihah recitation in my daily prayer, that’s more than 10x a day,” said I. It was when praying was five times a day for me, oftentimes 7 times! 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem is a sacred word uttered by Muslim or most traditional non-Muslim Javanese when starting an activity. It means “In the name of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”, some interpret it as “On behalf of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”. By reading it the reader is expected to only do good thing with good intension with love. The teacher also said that reading it we were doing self alignment: align the self with the true self, to be true to ourselves, to easily make decision and to cut short confusion and to always be blessed, to blend action with good intension.

Amazingly all teachers understood the fool and just gave a lot of smiles and books to read which annoyed her more and more. I became frustrated seeing the two good friends gained fast track understanding of life. I decided to quit then did whatever was fun fun fun ignoring the essence of being human being.

Only years later I found that self alignment is very important and I was sorry for realising it late. I finally got it why those two good friends were so peaceful while I was still struggling with almost everything. It was also the year when we found that that dear teacher passed away of old age.

I know where to go because I am fool…. where? to you…. 💗

Now? Learning to care more about inner journey and well being. Whatever happens to me is a consequence of my decision. If the decision is aligned with my true self, it leads to success. If the decision is false and against my true self, it leads to lesson learnt. Lesson learnt leads to better decision. Better decision leads to success. Success to me is not merely material gain, it can be simply being able to smile in tough time. This simple lesson is a result of years of battle for a stupid person like me.

My best friend asked me how now to deal with self alignment esp when in confusion.

Me: I recite Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem cumulatively 300x before night sleep.

BF: Why? Did that teacher come virtually and ask you to?  

Me: No. I found that this word is my best to strengthen self-alignment between good intention and action.

BF: Why 300x? He said 10x.

Me: He discounted the price. I’m 30x more valuable than his appraisal. 

BF: Arrogant fool!

Me: I’m just a fool.

BF: There are two of us. 

Lesson learnt: Always find a way to see my fool not others’. Always find a way to laugh at my own self not at others’.

Alfatihah.

Surprise!

Surprise, Beloved,
Dew drops slide, meet in a line;
River of blessings—

Weekend is mostly about staying home finding sweet surprises.

Thank you for the weekly break and lots of mini blessings!

mini cuty! thank you!
this one was let go for not re-blooming after 2 years, today I found her stunning surprise! thank you!
the bud stem! thank you!
bathroom window nook gang is also in action! thank you!

🥰