You? Where?

You? Where, Beloved?
The omnipresent through air,
Undefined calmnessβ€”
Breeze that caresses the leaves.
Breath that blows prayer for you.

β€”-

🐣

breeze and breath sync up to calm things down

Spread of The Day

A wise teacher said:
If you have a space for shelter,
A plate of rice for meal,
A job for a living;
That’s when you’re blessed.

I couldn’t say a word
To deny.

It’s true
And
Only true.

β€”-

Enjoy!

today’s spread πŸ₯° – less than last year, not much time to cook 🐣
specialty for Lebaran – opor πŸ₯° minus fried shallot that makes it less special to me 😎
😎 not the biggest fan of beef, but this one is super good
want more❣️
πŸ’“
πŸ₯³

Different Days for One Date

I learn
Life is about counting gates of moments.
It’s not what I celebrate,
It’s how I celebrate.
They call it this,
I call it that,
It’s a day dyed with red, blue, yellow
Yet
Really the day won’t describe its own color when asked.

One more day to celebrate!

β€”-

It’s not unusual Ramadhan is closed on different days by different groups of Muslim esp. in big country like Indonesia. One group may close Ramadhan on 29th day, the other on 30th. It’s not a big deal (although some noisy people like to debate about it) but it’s not simple things to explain. Overall the difference is due to 2 different methods of seeing the crescent moon visibility in the horizon – one group is using mathematical astronomy (computation), the other physical observation (telescope).

This year most of my family in Indonesia celebrated the Eid yesterday, I in Singapore today.

Without further ado….

Hari Raya Puasa = Hari Raya Idul Fitri = Lebaran = Riyaya = Ba’dan = Eid Mubarak whatever they call it, it is here to be claimed and celebrated, not debated. πŸ₯°

Celebrate moments that are given in life including this festivity. Every moment is a gate to another moment before entering the next gate of moment. After entering Ramadhan gate, now Syawal gate, what’s next? Any should be simply a gate to start or to restart or to continue.

a common greeting in Eid: May Allah accept (good deeds) from us and from you.

Gate after gate before finally the grandest gate β›©

this is always a favourite object – gate

once more…

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1443H

History of A Tree

You have to believe
Nature lives with you, ruling
Games in which you are.
See colours. Watch shapes. Seasons,
Patterns count the scores to make.

Fruits rot. Flowers sere.
Leaves fall. Trunks topple. Roots die.
This plant is a name
In encyclopaedia,
Memory of its climbers.

β€”β€”-

This body has expiry date. I’m seeing it deteriorates in time. What will be something of me left behind?

Temasek, Ramadhan 11 / 5:55am

dear sun, when you’re down, where are you and what are you doing?

Ribbons With Messages

There is a crystal clear ribbon
Flying through a cavity
Bringing a message
About love
To whom
I say
β€œThis painting is made for you from the first stroke to the last dot in the artist’s signature.”

I’m mixing colours to find the best hue to paint you.
I’m balancing the real and unreal to find the vibe of you.
I’m panning my own work to find if this is truly a gift or stolen relic from you.

I keep these hands engraving
But eyes focusing on you.
All to find you.

And every second I can see myself reading another message on another ribbon:
β€œIs this a hide-and-seek?
Or simply a peek-a-boo?”

Ahh! You maybe only smile, enjoying the scene of how funny this could be.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

won’t stop learning how to depict what’s in mind on physical media πŸ–Ό

Journey Of The Nights

Up and down the hills
The feet walk, the heart stands still.
Journey of the nightsβ€”

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Nights and days are the consequences of sun and moon fixed courses. Or is it the other way around: sun and moon fixed courses are existing due to the need of nights and days in this particular planet.

Many say day is for activities, night is for resting. I don’t deny but I have my own interpretation of activities and resting. Activity is when all my concentration is for transactional economy, resting is when my concentration is for relaxation and personal. Rest day? Of course all my rest days will become nights. πŸ’ž

Thanks for giving me days and nights.

May all beings be happy❣️

β€œkembang ganyong” will fill the Ramadhan nights

Mask Is, Smile Is

Smile is a good mask
Than a mask can be. A mask
Masks a masking smile.
What masks a mask? Or who does?
Unmask! A soul has missed you.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”-

Sometimes she doesn’t know why she feels a blissful joy. She tries her best to find a reason but seems to fail. When people ask why she looks radiant on certain day, she will just say I love the food, I love the weather, I love this, I love that β€” simply for courtesy with a bit of honesty compromised due to inability to give exact reason.

Perhaps the reason is because the footprints of falling in love is greater than the scars of broken heart. Alas! It might not be. Or, it might be. Come on, it might not be. Ah! That’s not important.

Oh? She doesn’t know. And it is ok to feel that way – blissfully joyful with unknown reason like when she is falling in love, unreasonable β€” her love did go to that that she never ever thought of getting on the way then suddenly gone away.

Tragic comedy! πŸ™ƒ

❣️

guess why happy? the salad counter is at least 50% open! eyes can’t hide a smile πŸ™‚

Dreamy Days

Red leaves, Beloved
Gracefully fall on the lap
Of Mother Nature,
Garnishing coloured autumn
Welcoming benign winter.

Dream, dream, Beloved.
As vibrant as you wish to,
As sweet as you want.
You’re red leaves lightheartedly
Flying decorating life.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

I wish all my good dreams come true. And all of yours, too πŸ™πŸΌ

Salam.

❣️

The Choice To Bloom

Even though they’re weed,
They’re flower, ready to bloom.
Truly as they are.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Respect each other as all of us have become us with no choice but traveling the paths we’ve agreed to sign up. Early termination doesn’t apply; life is about starting and completing what’s written.

Respect each other. At least….

πŸ’

πŸ’ž

Words

I know, Beloved,
Those words are leaves falling down,
Decayed before you.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Jika kita lahir dan tumbuh sebagai kata-kata,
saya akan selalu menggarisbawahi kamu
seperti kata yang saya anggap penting,
meski kamu nanti mencetak miring saya
seperti kata yang tak dikenal dan asing. (part of a poem by Adimas Immanuel)
7 lotus and 3 leaves in 1 clear jar

Banana Tree

Live once, no regret,
Said banana trees. They die
After giving fruits.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse – them in one
unlearn, my dear…. let go
my finding me is like finding a piece of unpolished sapphire, not diamond which is too high value nor gravel which is too low – maybe it’s gonna be unpolished forever but at least I know it’s a sapphire, not diamond not gravel

Alone

Go solo travel
Through blocked road, dead end
With fright, thirst and hope!
Trees will tell you where to go.
Sun will tell you when to halt.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

I (almost) always travel alone and I love it. It is not only business trip but also travel for leisure.

My first impressive adventurous solo travel was at 12 with my red mini bike. I would bike from home to my uncle’s home in a hilly district. It was about one hour ride of 7 kilometers away excluding all the U turns of getting lost in quite rough terrain in the route. I was excited doing it though because of nieces and nephews waiting to play with and the agriculture experience to enjoy. The up-hill biking to uncle’s home was my private getaway until my little brother insisted joining.

Another impressive solo travel of mine was in Bandar Lampung where I visited elephant and rhino conservation centres. Unfortunately the sweet young me was still innocent that people thought I was welcoming them; and I got sexual-physically harassed. Lucky me to be saved by a bus driver β€” wherever you are (maybe you away already because you looked like 60 years old when I was 26), you are blessed, Pak Supir!

And the excitement of the first impressive solo travel and the most dangerous one have combined to be a sufficient foundation for me to be a 99% solo traveler until now.

Traveling solo, I learn and improve how to cope with life challenges: languages, culture, human behaviour, security, etc. Yet I can enjoy the trips as I wish without having to wait for others moving slower or having to be dragged by others moving faster. It is almost always about excitement, freedom and privacy!

The bravest trip of mine was to Bangladesh in 2011. Plane touched down at 12am. Taxi waited in a corner that will be considered dangerous spot by any normal women on earth. Hotel was totally different from what was described online. Food was a bit below my hygiene par but I had to show my respect by eating with (fake) happy look! Yet I was truly happy to meet 3 new friends who hosted me with genuine hospitality (no fakey smiley like in some countries on earth I won’t mention); they brought me to city parks, mosques, slum areas, high end areas, etc in Dhaka. That was one paradoxically the happiest-saddest trip where I met the most skinny dogs and poor people right in front of luxurious houses. The most teary nights ever!

My smoothest, most expensive was 20-day solo travel in Europe: expensive flights, flights between countries, 1st class trains between cities and countries, taxi rides, good hotels, accessible public facilities, drinkable water free of charge!, good choices of food…. very little warm smile though. My favourite cities are still Amsterdam with so many Indonesians that warmed my soul and Madrid with so many handsome men that freshened my eyes! πŸ˜‚

Do I still want to travel alone? YES! but not 99% anymore, maybe will be 75%. I have a small group of semi-backpacker ladies who will be best neighbours when I retire. So they might be my travel buddies when I want to share some itinerary with.

I miss traveling!!!

Next destination? I don’t know…. The virus has evolved from physical barrier to physio-socio-psycho-political block for me to move around! God bless you, dear Corona.

Happy Sunday home! Salaam. πŸ’

traveling isn’t the only way to find your true self, you can travel within instead; yet when having time and resources, do travel out of your familiar towns and cities – you’ll feel different blessings! stay safe!

Aging

Aging, Beloved,
Counting blessings everydayβ€”
Feeling challenging?

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Sometimes a challenge or deadline is needed like fertiliser sprinkled on to the soil to trigger more chemical, biological, physical reactions from the root dancing in the ground to go deeper and healthier so that the tree grows even stronger and taller.

ι ‘εΌ΅γ‚ŠγΎγ—γ‚‡γ†οΌ

28-day writing challenge with some friends feels like a squid game πŸ’ πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«

Taste

The taste, Beloved,
Touches life in every point.
No excuse for herβ€”

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Sometimes life is about experiencing spiciness level, low to high level. Sweet is hiding for a while, it will come another day.

That’s some of my conversation with my Sensei in today’s Japanese class.

Hell yeah! ⚑️

Hot!!!

I Trust You

Know not, Beloved
This path about to end when
And where. I trust you.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”-

Trust is what she’s been holding tight because without it she’s lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.

Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life that’s imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.

I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.

πŸ’ž

a song that touches my heart like a tiny leaf falling on a placid lake πŸ’ thank you

The Director

Her life, Beloved,
Perfectly-directed film
Ready for Oscarsβ€”

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

She sometimes forgets that life is a performed script in which she is casted to act out a given role the best she can. She should follow the director’s direction and directive.

What about spectators? She should ignore spectators. Spectators are stars whose job is to see and comment on the film. And they pay for what they see and comment. The payment goes to the stars!

So, dear Star. Fix your moves. Better your expression. Tag your ears with the melody. Live in harmony, with your own self like Javanese Bedhaya performers who are meditatively drowned in the sacred composition.

Oscars are waiting.…

…. Only if you play all out!

Heart and soul dancing through body πŸ’ž

Alhamdulillah 🌻

The Director from Pinterest
Bedhaya, the epitome of Javanese dance

Perfect Combination

Love’s yellow on green,
Sprinkling ripeness on freshness.
Pack your smile for me.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’š

yum yum or yuck yuck? 😁

Disclosure

Seed deeply buried,
Grown finding the sun slowlyβ€”
It is about time.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Good life was once tiny little secret longing for forgiveness and blessings.

I accept my history, present and future.

May all beings be happy. πŸ’

secret unveiled, happy life

Cycled

After the moon? No.
The sun is where this heart walks
With rain that visits.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Chasing what’s not clear and uncertain was an exciting thing for the hot-blooded. Dark, shadowy picture of what she once imagined has started fading away. The moon’s shift is over.

Walking in this forest, the leaves has rekindled her faith that rain is paying a short visit. When the rain stops, she will again realise that her heart is always enveloped in the warmth of clarity.

Sunbeam always opens a new chapter in which sunshine will take over what’s mysterious and frightening. Light will help her eyes see things the way they are, no assumption, no prejudice. It is what it is.

When she reaches the edge of the forest, she will step on a meadow where the moon is again sending shadow but this time there is no mystery anymore.

All is clear. All is well. What it takes is just counting the milestones and blessing all that are sensed.

May all beings be happy.

take the bent road or go ahead? your choice, the sun will guide you 🧭

Kebun Raya Purwodadi

Madly In Love

Was madly in love,
Still am…. Realm is the limit.
…. With you, Belovedβ€”

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Where is the end of love journey? Either hopelessness or time πŸ’

Alfatihah πŸ’•

love poem of Nizar Qabbani

Nizar Qabbani