Where are you, oh dear? Mountains and oceans are passed By with beauty glued As memory. Beloved, Where’s the next stop? Peek a boo!
When I was young; I joined spiritual workshop, class, training; read spiritual books, journal, articles; listened to spiritual preaching, cassettes, radio programs; name more —mostly informal, some non-formal, one formal not finished oh I’m blessed that It wasn’t. Whenever I was asked why I did, I would say “I wanna know God.”
Has anyone experienced this looking-sophisticated-but-actually-comical thing? Thanks God (s/he’d like to be censored actually) I’m not alone in this zero to zigzagging journey— from being very excitedly curious to being a drunken master. 🤪
What a blessed journey it was! If I’m supposed to tell that young me when starting through the reading of those looking-sophisticated-yet-actually-comical random materials, I would say “Hey, Lady Haha! You should have a map but a destination is paramount!”
And I still feel so blessed!
May all haha moments be deciphered. 😊
* refer to the video of “How To Dad” in “How To Teach A Kid Curse Words”.
Bruised and scarred she is; A stained-glass window to see Both sides of her world.
22:22 / Sunday – June 6, 2021
I thought all of those were wounds and warts until observing carefully. I’ve been living with a beautiful stained-glass window which puts colours and gives unique perspectives when seeing inside and outside. As long as it doesn’t derail from being a human being, I think I’m blessed.
Where to go? Let’s go! River never knows but flows. This is estuary, Beloved, sea welcomes you. Black to blue is true. Slow down....
One of my best friends is flying to Bali this morning. She’ll live in her most favourite island for how long only Heaven knows.
We knew she has dreamt of living in Ubud without knowing how to materialise it as she’s a full time employee in Jakarta and her job requires her to sit in front of her computer for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Bali was just a holiday or weekend escapade that helps refresh before going back to the busy metropolis.
We had a 3-hour call last night, celebrating her flight to her paradise! She’s happy. I’m happy for her.
How can I not believe that this pandemic is a blessing? It has moved someone’s cubicle to her living room then to her mother’s home, and soon to a beautiful place where dreams have lingered for Heaven knows how long. I can imagine how serene and fun her productivity will be!
When moments collide,
Time slows down, space enlarges.
Based on solar calendar, it is my father’s birthday today. Based on lunar calendar it is his death commemoration.
Mathematically the two calculations are crossing, astronomically celestial bodies are in moving in harmony, momentarily it’s just a coincidence. To his family it’s a special moment— celebrating a point when an important human being’s life in the world is started and ended.
God bless you, Bapak. Happy 0th birthday! Are you watching me? Thank you. But no need, just take a rest, I’m safe now. 😘
Almost given up:
Milestones to reach the final.
Language of dreams
Japanese is almost as difficult as Arabic but I didn’t find hard time learning Arabic as the brain was much fresher with more time to focus on lessons by then. I almost gave up this Japanese lesson as I felt too slow. Until today mixing up between シ and ツ still happens again and again. Different forms of adjective and noun when tenses change still confuse me. The crazy kanji has also tortured me. Why did I even learn this language? 🤪 Drama! 🥰
But hey! I won’t stop until I can read and compose beautiful poems in Japanese. Too much a dream? Ok, I won’t stop until I can present the company’s Code of Conduct in Japanese! Making more sense! 😁
If the teacher isn’t this good, I might have given up earlier. The Sensei is such an expert of Japanese language and culture that she can make me understand why those Japanese I’ve met have behaved so strangely not as I expected Japanese I thought would be. 😝
Some people are just so “like that” regardless they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Singaporean or any other….. Life is so interesting, take it easy!
An old man’s waiting
For the sun to rise. He moans
At the moon. “Dark night,
Pull away. You block me from
Beauty.” — Life’s a mentalist.
Who is the true beauty? The moon or the sun? Debatable! It’s a matter of played tricks of layered lights— light upon light with darkness in between. How would it be not cozy hiding under a cool calm night while patiently welcoming morning? How would it be not fun playing in a warm radiant day while cheerfully welcoming dusk?
Ah…. Why should one be getting old while constantly denying what is….
The hidden ID
Brings confidence and courage:
Wearing mask has good impact mentally: especially bringing more confidence to do what’s wanted to do (responsibly). Wearing it though might also give some rather unpleasant experience such as not breathing comfortably, needing to nod or squint eyes to show we are smiling, foggy glasses, etc.
While now we are mandated to wear masks once going out of home, hope someday soon mask is mandated only in some area.
Now let’s take this as a short training to be confident and to give up identity for a while for the sake of protecting each other. Training in and out!
Let’s mask ourselves in style. 😷
Tips of wearing mask: not too tight, find masks that give space in front of nose and mouth; disposable is the best but reusable is good enough (wear each based on where you go and whom you meet); change everyday for reusable or twice a day of you need more comfort; wash the reusable after use the soonest possible, sprinkle mask with some herbal oil to bring good air (peppermint and lemon are good choice for breathing); cute reusable brightens days.
May all beings be happy.
always practice squinting eyes in the lift before meeting people out there 😷
Good time to clean up:
Throw away what’s not needed.
Unstuff. Travel light.
Reviewing my Pinterest account once again, I found that I’ve been hoarding. At the beginning I thought it was cool to collect all the pictures for reference on some topics. Is that? Yes, to some level. No, to some extent.
But still I like it 😁
Checking my home, that’s more interesting. Too many books and they should be soon given away. Getting older, I feel that reading the phenomena surrounding me is much more interesting and enriching than reading books, except reading some comics as part of my language study. That’s better, too so I can save more for future dream— hope the future still wants me. 🥰
Not about the food,
More about gluttony. Good!
At least I still chew.
I joined “Eat Well Challenge” in which what’s consumed is calculated and what’s burnt is regulated. I thought it would be as simple as submitting what is eaten. Now I see how healthy both my body and brain will be as the calorie calculation include my weighing the ingredients and decision making on what’s best to combine.
The plan to cook duck has twisted a brain. Duck contains a lot of fat, which is the best part of it. Yummy!!! So…. Duck it is! When calculated, the calorie is high and when it is reported to the challenge platform, it is not counted as the expected healthy food…. Ggrrrrh!
Don’t overestimate what’s called healthy eating because the calorie calculation will overwrite all the estimation exactly like when you think expressing love honestly will result in respectful rejection, instead you’ll get ignorance and humiliation.
Thanks God for always leading me to self respect and kindness.