Does Too Much Love Kill?

Too much love will kill
Who? None. Love will overflow,
Reviving the death.

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Finally an agreement was achieved among some friends to start a project to support a few batik makers that we know and to spread knowledge about batik from unique perspectives. There will be video about batik, the batik artisan’s life and thin slices of Javanese wisdom. And so I have to restart the old hobby that has been dormant for how long only heaven knows.

Can’t wait to travel to dear home-base-will-be and produce slides and shows….

Hope it works well.

Friendship nurtures human beings in many ways possible.

good, the tripod still stands still 👍🏽

What’s Your Spread Today?

What is in the spread?
A bunch of grub and wisdom
Don’t leave any bit.

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It is Lebaran today.

I put what I cooked on the table (the only table in the house), took picture of it and sent to those with whom I would love to enjoy it together on Hari Raya: family, close friends and some colleagues. This year, we’re virtually enjoying it through pictures or video calls! What an exciting morning!

Rice cake (ketupat or lontong in Indonesia), sayur labu siam (chayotes in coconut milk), opor ayam (chicken opor, the yellow soup), beef rendang and sambel goreng kentang (potato sambal), kerupuk (crackers), nuts, sweet cookies from Bengawan Solo, and of course fruits! Enjoy!

And what’s under the spread? Table cloth of batik with “nitik” motif.

Nitik is a Yogyakartan-style batik which is traditionally dark colour (sogan in Javanese) with lighter colour background compared to Solo style. Nitik is the shortened structure of “nggawe (making) titik (dots)” that immediately shows the appearance of the motif, thousands of dots forming some geometrical patterns.

Historically this motif has been believed as the simplicity and humbleness of the designers and makers who were ordinary women in the villages which were located outside of city centre (palace). This motif came into palace environment after certain period of time and finally integrated into many designs.

Interestingly nitik is a Javanese word that can also mean niteni or marking based on data or facts. So, simple and humble of human beings character can show something bigger if gathered and analysed carefully. Ah my…. Why should it be that complex? Just enjoy the batik beauty, Beloved.

Selamat Hari Raya!

May all beings be happy. 💞

hungry caterpillar! 🤩

He Is Zero Today

When moments collide,
Time slows down, space enlarges.
A coincidence?

——————————————————

Based on solar calendar, it is my father’s birthday today. Based on lunar calendar it is his death commemoration.

Mathematically the two calculations are crossing, astronomically celestial bodies are in moving in harmony, momentarily it’s just a coincidence. To his family it’s a special moment— celebrating a point when an important human being’s life in the world is started and ended.

God bless you, Bapak. Happy 0th birthday! Are you watching me? Thank you. But no need, just take a rest, I’m safe now. 😘

my favorite taste, not his coz I eat it not he😁

Oopsie Me!

Mistake? Oopsie-do!
I do, they might do. Oopsie!
Mistake is lesson.

——————————————

When I found that I wrongly saw the date…. Alamak! The Lebaran isn’t tomorrow, it’s the day after tomorrow. It means I still have one more day for fasting….. 😝

And I exclaimed “Oopsie-do!”

Lesson learnt: Don’t be too excited about food.

Blessing in disguise: one annual leave + one public holiday = heaven on earth

Cute song!

Cycles

Under the green leaf,
Crawls then sleeps. Wake up with love.
Fly, Butterfly, fly.

Metamorphosis of egg to caterpillar to cocoon before butterfly is beautiful and relevant with the cycles of human being’s life in all aspect.

How someone finds a potential and amplifies the potential with any resources that one can think of such as schooling, taking courses/training/workshop, reading, listening, watching, contemplating, consultancy…. Oh some others who don’t have clear thinking include their actions of cheating, stealing, breaking the law, stepping the integrity lines, backstabbing, etc.

It is like witnessing the eggs sheltered by some shade of plants and with the weather and pressure, they are pushed to crawl out of the shells. Here it comes one hungry caterpillar, playing happily, eating this, eating that, eating these, eating those, eating everything. This caterpillar can only stop eating when one feels numb and one’s fullness melts away and wraps itself to sleep. The things one consumed liquifies it like ice thawed in a plastic bag.

Sleep soundly, hungry caterpillar and don’t wake up until someday your fluid self come into form, embodied into a totally different creature. The butterfly you are!

There was a time when an employee is so preoccupied with what one is doing, as if one is wrapped in a system that trapped one doing the same thing like no choice is given. One does it everyday until finally not having to think of how to do it already. One might feel the job is ingrained as a thought, a feeling, an intuition, movement, the life itself. Trained skills and talents make an art, the integrity shapes wisdom. A job—when has become a dedication— will not betray a human being.

Hope someday mine becomes one. It is never about how high I climb but about how deep I dive into the commitment of making what I’m doing a wisdom and benefits for those we promise to protect and support.

I think it is ok to be one hungry caterpillar, looking greedy and craving for more knowledge, experiences, adventures. As long as it knows where poison lies, it is safe to chew and swallow anything. No no not anything…. Select wisely, Beloved.

I remember Steve Jobs said “Stay foolish, stay hungry”. That person really knew what he was doing. Many people might have thought negatively about him, laughed at what he was doing, called him crazy, kicked him out for having different ideas, backstabbed him to stop his annoyance. Those people just didn’t know that that guy was a hungry caterpillar processing into a cocoon before butterfly. Amazing human being! God bless time when he was alive and forever.

Hmm…. Perhaps he truthfully made himself hungry by fasting and foolish by learning and unlearning.

God bless you, Steve Jobs and the people around his belief about staying foolish and hungry.

Salam….

you know what colours will be yours

Sit Still

Silent nights have come
To sit still and greet the heart.
Please forgive me, Love.

——————————————

Ramadhan month is almost over. Many Muslim will spend the last 10 days of Ramadhan in the mosques. They focus on the zikr (remembrance) by enchanting attributes of God and reciting the Quran. They call it i’tikaf— literally meaning staying put or sitting still, commonly understood as retreat in the mosque to worship the God recommended at the last 10 days of Ramadhan. How beautiful those nights are!

How lucky people who have the time to spend with themselves and look in to their own inner journey.

I’m not a devoted one so I don’t do the i’tikaf anymore. For retreat I prefer attending discussion or meditation session or just being alone contemplating or just wandering at the nature.

I feel lucky that this past one year has been a kind of long retreat through the working from home during pandemic. I’ve got sufficient time to do what I missed doing for almost the past 12 years in which back to back trips were a cup of tea, and do it slowly with (sometimes not full) awareness.

Cooking own food, washing own clothes, cleaning the whole house alone, running or walking at the river bank, biking around midnight time, painting, singing out loud at lunch time, writing journals and blog, watering my plants and talking to them, and so on…. All thanks to working from home—

Thanks to Life for all those. Thanks for everything.

At the same time I made a series of mistakes to someone. Some things are misunderstood naturally. It’s gonna be ok. I hope Life forgives me and lets my journey be easier.

May all beings be happy. 💞

beauty comes again

Missing Home

Where’s home, Beloved
That gives warmth, food and laughter?
Winter gets longer.

———————————

Never was in mind that I would live in the time of Corona. Gabriel Garcia Marquez sounds relatable.

Salam….

Brown beetle keeps coming, attracted by the light

Add Acceptance To Each Plan

This night gets longer.
More dreams linger in silence.
Lid the bucket list.

————

I pray to have enough time to be able to visit all places in my bucket list as 2020 and 2021’s trips are unchecked. If only dreaming is stoppable,

Thanks God I enjoy getting lost walking or biking that’s the best option in this cute island.

May all beings be happy.

🍀

Plan as if you live forever. Accept today as the best gift.

Language of Dreams

Almost given up:
Milestones to reach the final.
Language of dreams

Japanese is almost as difficult as Arabic but I didn’t find hard time learning Arabic as the brain was much fresher with more time to focus on lessons by then. I almost gave up this Japanese lesson as I felt too slow. Until today mixing up between シ and ツ still happens again and again. Different forms of adjective and noun when tenses change still confuse me. The crazy kanji has also tortured me. Why did I even learn this language? 🤪 Drama! 🥰

But hey! I won’t stop until I can read and compose beautiful poems in Japanese. Too much a dream? Ok, I won’t stop until I can present the company’s Code of Conduct in Japanese! Making more sense! 😁

If the teacher isn’t this good, I might have given up earlier. The Sensei is such an expert of Japanese language and culture that she can make me understand why those Japanese I’ve met have behaved so strangely not as I expected Japanese I thought would be. 😝

Some people are just so “like that” regardless they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Singaporean or any other….. Life is so interesting, take it easy!

God bless all….

One of the easy thing I was frustrated of….! What a stupid me! Look at the ugly frustrated hand writing! 🥶

You’re A River

Flow, Beloved. Flow.
Be a river whose stream knows
Its gravity. Yours
Is me? Making it flow back
To where a home is. Within—

A river is a river only when the stream is moving to a point of a pulling force. Don’t  get stuck or blocked because that is when you lose your being as a river.

Find the tiniest gap and flow….

Never getting bored of it 💞

Urip Iku Sawang-Sinawang – Javanese Wisdom

Urip iku sawang-sinawang is another Javanese wisdom that I’ve learnt. It simply means life is looking at each other, looking at something.

When feeling unfortunate, many will see others as luckier than them. Comparison is an immediate expression to show their frustration. Why are those people getting that but I’m not? Why does life give the blessings to them but not to me? Why are they married but I’m not? Why do they have good jobs but I don’t? Blahblahblah!

Let’s call them “these angry children”. When these angry children happen to consult to Javanese elderly, they will softly say “Ngger, urip kuwi mung sawang-sinawang….”

“Ngger” is equivalent with “My child”.

Many can only see what they are exposed to. Others have better job while these angry children don’t; and that makes these children angrier. They think that having particular jobs will make those people happier.

People are married and being married is considered happier and that makes these angry children sad or even angrier.

People travel to many places and these angry children think they are luckier; and that makes these children envy.

Some colleagues are able to deliver the speech better than these angry children and they think the colleagues perform better; and that makes these angry children feel as worst employees.

Are all those truly as these angry children think? No. Or at least not always. Or let’s say not exactly like what you expect. Or maybe not at all!

They have good jobs but they might have a lot of pressure or feel less appreciated. Whereas having (what you consider) less fortunate jobs is blessings for becoming less risky against integrity issues and less pressure.

They are married and these angry children never know what kind of spouse those people have. These children should be thankful for not being in a marriage this time and see that those married people are struggling financially or romantically or sexually or spiritually or socially or all…. Whereas the unmarried are free to be their own selves and getting more training from Life to be better and readier human beings.

People travel to many different countries while these angry children can only jump out to other districts in their  province. These angry children think that makes those people better human beings. Yes, they have more photo albums and memories of what they have seen and more information; but they don’t automatically become wiser than whoever mostly stay home but are able to process the life experiences into true wisdom to address this humble life.

And colleagues speaking more sophisticatedly? Bloody hell! Those who talk talk, but not always walk the talk. What’s more important is how what aren’t even spoken or talked have helped people around them.

So, life is only how we are looking at each other, looking at something. We can look at them and get offended. We can look at them and digest what we see into a wisdom to be better living being without judging ourselves of being bad or unlucky.

That’s a simple Javanese philosophy that might be also taught in other cultures.

Accept who we are and process our own facts to mould the shape of love in us. Others are not always our mirror, they might be magnifying glass.

In fact, all of us deserve to be these angry children while growing to be the wise.

Thanks for the simple chats with some good friends and my own self.

This picture of children with heart-shaped glasses is borrowed from https://www.freepik.com

Shifting Culture

You look perfect, Love
Mechanically living.
I can’t reach you, Love.
You’re deadly cold snow— heartless
Pushing me farther away.

Some work of art is precisely designed, formulated and worked by robot. Accuracy, precision, flawless

Some is beautifully designed, measured and worked by living artist whose movement is built through heart and soul. Relatively beautiful with direct human touch

Each prefers one with some price

A robot carving accurately on the door panel
An artist carving Jepara style design on the door panel

Some human beings are so mechanical, they don’t know how to respond others humanely. They simply see things through a flow chart. Hope that this group extinct soon.

May all beings be happy.

Sweetness In Heart

Beyond layered skies
Is beauty unknown, my Love
I’ll never give up.

This I wishes happiness to that you across the ocean although the you never knows….

God bless Louis Armstrong who’s bringing sweetness to the heart even when he is not here anymore. 💞

Friendship

These two sisters are best friends. True friendship is precious and beautiful: relaxing, joking and teasing around, no prejudice, no pretension, agreement, disagreement, entertaining, no gaslighting, at the same time enlightening.

They talked about regret to let go, connection among all things, the death, relationship with parents and siblings, misunderstood religiosity, God’s love, being stupid, making mistakes and so on and so forth.

God bless these two sisters and true friendship on earth.

Shahnaz Hague and Soraya Haque, God bless you.

Life As Cycled

When you reach the shore,
Let the sand pull you into
Everlasting pores,
Put life to start once again.
Life stories of wave and wind

How will you be back to shore after being brought back to sea….

….every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, birthday, death, life….

….Repeatedly?

(Un)Fortunately

Ripple can disturb
A placid lake. Tidal wave
Won’t change a rough sea.

I’m a small lake, whereas you’re the wide sea. Dear, with the roughness you can’t feel the softest heart. Too bad….

May all beings be happy.

dim light captures silence

Doesn’t Look Like Any….

You’re a paradox.
Close but distant; tangibly
Impalpable sphere—

I know you’re around. I just know. I trust you, Beloved. You smell like mid spring, sound like jazz, taste like sugar cane, feel like breeze, but not sure look like what….

May all beings be happy.

fresh, relaxing, sweet, flowing song