Arid Land, His Heart

I never want to hurt myself, I just didn’t know who you are.
I got hurt by a cactus in a desert
Who pricks little fingers,
Who just want to touch this life softly,
Not hurting, not taking anything away.


Wounded, I decided to blame stupidity:
Why did I have to have to have to have to have to just touch cacti? I should have left that arid land long before I touched a prickly spirit.


A delayed regret is less important than a lesson learned but it always gives a story the most significant pivot.


Now
I’ll just admire from here
From where I stand
With millions of prayers
For a secret journey.
Yet I know you are a ghost days and nights.


Someday when I pour down the rain,
You’ll know.
Love is as sweet as water in drought—
Maybe—
If it is not late....

May all beings be happy.

Hujan, Rindu, Cinta

Hujan banyak bercerita. Rintiknya, derasnya, harum tanah yang tertimpa rinainya, segar hawa yang terhirup ke dalam lubang hidung, tusukan jejarum halusnya di titik-titik syaraf, raupan basahnya ketika telapak tangan mengusap muka dan sensasi hujan yang bergesekan dengan indera. Mereka telah membentuk jejak-jejak sejarah hidup. Yang terlupakan dan yang terkenangkan selama usia.

Malam ini hujan turun, kembali membasuh lembaran kenangan. Lantunan lagu-lagu mengentalkan rasa rindu pada Kekasih.

Sudah bermalam-malam rasa cinta ini tumbuh sejak kusadari rindu tak tertahankan.

Dulu. Dulu sekali, aku pikir rindu itu datangnya dari cinta. Baru tersadari di usiaku yang sekian ini bahwa cinta itu buah rindu.

Cinta itu lubang rindu nan tak pernah berhenti menganga.

Kupikir setelah patah hati, aku tak akan mencinta lagi. Pendapat itu tinggal pendapat semu, nyatanya rasa itu datang lagi. Yang menyedihkan adalat jatuh cinta pada Dia yang sama, makin lama makin besar cintanya.

Kugali dan kugali lagi. Bukan cinta sebab semua ini.

Rindu lah yang bertanggung-jawab atas penderitaan cinta.

Rindu lah yang seharusnya kupersalahkan.

Titik-titik hujan di jendela telah berubah menjadi aliran-aliran air. Cinta yang mulanya berupa bercak-bercak di permukaan hati menjelma menjadi danau yang menjadi pengawet hati.

Hati keras menjadi melembut. Yang dulunya tegar mudah terharu. Hati yang penuh dengan nama-nama perlahan hanya mengandungi satu nama. Satu saja.

Pernahkah kau jatuh cinta?

Jika kau mengaku belum, kau harus segera mengalaminya.

Rasa ini menyiksa tapi membuat indah dunia.

Setiap mengingat Dia, manusia memulas warna baru pada senyum dan sorotan mata.

Ketika menyadari bahwa kau tak mungkin mendapatkan Dia, kau menyegarkan hati dengan pemakluman bahwa tak semua uluran tangan disambut dengan ramah.

Segeralah jatuh cinta, sebelum sang waktu menorehkan akhir cerita di kitabmu.

Jatuh cintalah dan warnai rindumu dengan kebaikan hati, penerimaan dan pemakluman. Atau jika cintamu masih muda; marahlah, kecewalah, berteriaklah, panggil namanya dengan penuh rasa niscaya hatimu akan dipenuhi dengan makna hidup yang sesungguhnya.

Rasa rinduku tak pernah hilang. Tak akan pernah sirna.

Wahai Kekasih, semakin hari rindu ini semakin menguar memekat di udara, dihirup olehku dan sesama manusia. Dan cinta ini tak akan berakhir; mungkinkah kita bersua? Doaku melagukan sebuah perjumpaan. Atau jika kita tidak ditentukan berjumpa, aku tak mau lagi berjumpa walau sekali, tak sudi kumau berjumpa.

Hujan tak kunjung berhenti. Alunan musik itu masih ada.

The sun is out, the sky is blue
There's not a cloud to spoil the view
But it's raining, raining in my heart
The weatherman says clear today
He doesn't know you've gone away
And it's raining, raining in my heart
Oh, misery, misery
What's gonna become of me?
I tell my blues they mustn't show
But soon these tears are bound to flow
'Cause it's raining, raining in my heart
But it's raining, raining in my heart
And it's raining, raining in my heart
Oh, misery, misery
What's gonna become of me?
I tell my blues they mustn't show
But soon these tears are bound to flow
'Cause it's raining, raining in my heart
Raining in my heart
Raining in my heart

Aku Lala Padamu – lyric with music

This lala in the “Aku Lala Padamu” was created earlier than the lala in Lalaland.

Lala in this song (2005) is a word that you can’t find in modern dictionary or thesaurus. The singer -Sujiwo Tejo- uses this new word to express his deep, unspeakable, unspoken, painful feeling because of missing the Beloved.

Well, this old puppeteer -Sujiwo Tejo- has composed a lot of unique art work that behaves like magic either to and in the heart. His music and lyric, paintings, poems, books and stage performances are loaded with love to a hidden Lover and longing for a meeting with the Beloved.

Many young people in Indonesia swarm around his Twitter and Instagram accounts to read through his tweets and posts, to assess his clear thinking and logic (he is a Mathematician), to intelligently ridicule him, to respond with naughty statements or just to cynically laugh at him.

He is well known as the Presiden Negeri Jancukers (President of the Jancukers Land). Jancukers are nick names given to his fans characterised as those who own the expression of honesty and/or frankness and/or wit and/or paradox. What a tribe of artist they are!

Life becomes more mysterious, at the same time more meaningful and beautiful in the hands of artists around you.

May all beings be happy.

Slowing Down Footsteps – ranting

Slowing down footsteps
Pace along an ancient route.
Trace back your soul path.

Now here

Thought sometimes gets puzzled why thing happens to the Self, while logically she has made best possible efforts to control it not to emerge into events. At times emotions pour like heavy rain or they numb all nerves.

Then the Self realises that all is about tracing back the soul path: paying one’s karma, optimising one’s dharma.

Dear, Self.
You’d better pass major lessons in the current life. You shouldn’t want to fail the same lessons: acting lame or repeatedly meeting lame spirits wrapped in different physical planes, or both at the same time.

Dear, Beloved.
If it is not done,
Don’t let me slip from Your hands.

May all beings be happy….

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Dear My Beloved – prayer

My Beloved,
please spare me love that heals each other,
that nurtures each other,
that liberates each other,
that expands each other,
that respects each other,
that supports each other,
that is truthful and faithful to each other,
that is true and sweet to each other.

My Beloved, and so be it.


 

Prayer in a Deepavali long weekend in Singapore – 2019

rumi-o-beloved-where-is-the-beloved-quote-on-storemypic-143df

Thank you for the picture, O Beloved

And It is A New Cycle, Greek….

Our dear cat, Greek just went across the rainbow yesterday May 10 15:15 Tulungagung time. She’d been sick for the past two weeks — one bump inside her stomoch above hind legs had become bigger and bigger, made her weak and her body coul not hold it anymore….

…. We said goodbye today…. Greek, thank you for having shared your happiness, joy and purity with our family. It is not as long as we expect but it’s been a beautiful connection.

I was not there so much with you as I’m in Singapore and you’re in Indonesia with mom and my sisters…. But truly I love you with all my heart! I just planned to see you next week. To hug you….

Such a beautiful soul you are.
We won’t forget you.
Your playfulness, cuteness, chubbyness, all quality in yours is just bondng us stronger with you.

Now you must be above, looking at us…. Oh looking at me especially…. 🙂
You are saying that you are fine, you are happier and more united with everything. Salaam for you, my dear Greek.

You’re just like air…. I’m breathing you.
You’re just like sunray…. Shining on me….
You’re just like water…. I’m fresh by you.
Now, you are more real.
Ever real. Forever real.

IMG_0079

 

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Forgive us for not making you alive for so long, but we’re sure it is also your choice.
I’m sorry….
Thank you, Greek.

 

Say our warm love and sweet regards to Bob, Greece, Greg and all our family members across the bridge.

See you in a better place and time.

We love you so much.

Soul is soul. We cry over the plane that we can’t touch with our body but the soul is always there, lingering gracefully and we still can feel it with our “other” body.
We lose our beloved parents, children, brothers, sisters or pets that we think leave us forever but truly they are here and still close to us if we realise.
Salaam…. to all Souls who rest for the next cycles, rest in peace…. 🙏🙏🙏💞💞💞🎈🎈🎈

IMG_3713

Singapore – May 12, 2016 – 4:19pm

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