Small Steps

Small steps tiptoeing
On stones in a clean river
Bring a clean island

years and counting! thanks for tonight! 💝

Present

Thanks for the present.
Good breathing and walking
Unwrapped everyday—

thank you! it is said not a Christmas gift but there is a “Merry X’mas” on a card; thank you for the gift every year although I am not a Christian 💝😃
i guess the boxes are all empty 😁

Smile

Smile, Beloved, smile.
It’s a luxurious gift
For you and for me.

I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.

Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. 💝

Thank you!

💝

sleepy, angry, yet stop telling me to take a nap! 😂😂😂
classroom, my party time; playground, my party time, my childhood was everyday party! 👯‍♀️
no smile, no mercy 😃
length of hair defines how I treat the world; i love my pretty silly me! 😃

Home

Home is
Where an equation is done.
X factor is found,
Balance is placed,
Abundance is defined
Although life is never perfect.

Home is
Where the most important things gather.
Love is respected.
Respect is loved.
Priority is defined
Although life will never be perfect.

Home is
Where a painting is displayed.
Colours are combined,
Shapes are drawn.
Beauty is defined
And imperfect life is accepted.

that one tall white tree in the middle is the eucalyptus tree decided to cut down for the sake of the house to built in a nice spot; thank you, eucalyptus; it is unfortunate that you could not be replanted with some reasons — as much as I love you (so so much), I prefer respect for a home with other trees breathing with me 💕

Number

Number’s readable,
Intension’s not. Heart can read
Yet eyes can deny.

My Japan trip gave me a lot of insight. That an intension can be hidden yet sooner or later it will be naturally disclosed. That I should not entertain any underestimating and/or disrespecting expression —hidden or shown— as life is moving forward not backward. That if symbols or signs are not delivered to me as good will, all of them are false; ignoring them is the best way. That it is the right way to let them happily underestimate and/or disrespect and/or show superiority as their life style.

Human being should communicate verbally as part of real interaction. Without clear and genuine verbal communication at all and just sending signs and symbols, they fail respecting others. Wishing happiness is the best way as that’s what they need the most. Stopping interacting in whatsoever way is the best decision as they don’t contribute anything except confusion.

Happy weekend! 😍

13 can be 13 or “1 and 3” or 4 or 3 or 2 or nothing — whichever you choose to be, don’t choose to be “corrosion on an iron bar, permanently damaging the quality of the bar”

Drag Me

Drag me to your heart
Even if it hurts my head,
Said I.

I know you’re teasing
Even when I mean it,
Said I.

I smile in silence
Letting you laugh in joy.
Sad I’m.

Enjoy it.
Enjoy your days,
Said I.

I walk away
Leaving the last piece of my heart.
Dragging my luggage
Alone.
Smiling.
Winning
Against my own sigh.

To you, who secretly teasing again and again and again and again. Thank you. Life is full of fun. 💗

no lift! let’s go, baby!
….and yes! became the last one even behind the gorgeous senior Japanese ladies! thanks God not the aluminium suitcase that can’t be dragged without hurting both its body and my heart 😂

Small Thing

Small thing is cherry
On a big cake, red and brave
Savouring the day.

feel good!!! beyond my thought! thank you! autumn is always romantic in itself 🥰
feel so good; i couldn’t stop laughing yet wondering about that guy in the statue – his moustache is incredibly long and straight! what a myth!
then i found he is real! 😍 Gaishi Nagaoka is his name; browse him in the Net! 👍🏽
will pose as him tomorrow morning after breakfast when i meet my work partners 🥰

Love & Luck

My love is mostly dumb, stubborn, too thin to see, and makes you hate me.

My luck is often loud, sudden, too huge to miss, and makes me love you.

I’m not a gambler, yet think you’re a dice rolling numbers for a prize.

my love and luck grows for and bows to you

Rindu Adalah

Rindu itu
Sebutir berlian tak diasah
Teronggok begitu saja
Menanti pengasah berputar.
Tak ada yang mau.

Rindu itu
Sebiji nanas madu tak dikupas
Tergeletak di atas meja
Menanti pisau mengiris.
Tak ada yang mau.

Rindu itu
Setangkai kembang api mati
Terbujur kaku di dalam wadah
Menanti pemantik menyala.
Tak ada yang mau.

Rindu itu
Kabut tipis tentangmu
Tebal menyelimuti kaca
Menanti cuaca berganti.
Mau tak mau.

Rindu itu
Bukan tentang kamu yang lupa.
Rindu itu
Tentang aku yang tak ingat.
Mau tak mau.

Rindu itu
Rindu ini.
Sibuk sendiri
Hingga ia puas bermain
Lalu menggandengmu pergi.
Kau harus mau.

flowing river, stay in me…. loving to be home

Budding

The orchid’s budding,
Silently showing the day
About ever hope.

just this afternoon I found the orchid hung behind the shower door is budding! thanks much! sorry for missing your beauty! be in your prime time when I am back home 🥰

Journey

Journey to the self
Takes a long and winding road,
Worth doing. Half done—

Human beings’ journey to understand one’s self is often unpredictable. I never wanted to visit Mecca and Medina yet because of my devotion to a mother, I agreed to go to ensure that she was safe and healthy. And the result was tremendous evolution of self. 💝

To Ibu: I miss you much today 😘

Alfatihah

Masjid Nabawi (Mosque of Prophet) in Medina — where I started strongly realising that there is a journey —a silent one— that I must commit 💝 someday I’ll be back with a clearer mind and a calmer heart yet the same level of “disobedience” and stubbornness 😁
where I witnessed how a human being’s karma is overtly paid off and showing the quality of a person visiting this place – my mother is a humble, kind and very very generous person and in this place she was greeted by sooo many female pilgrims from other countries, requested to take picture together, given a looooooooooot of food every day, given space once arriving in the mosque (her friends in her group were not that much) – me? oh of course she introduced me as her daughter cum translator and then was included in all her blessings 😝
the only person who could move my heart to finally go – thank you, Ibu; might not be a happy ending for me but was a best start of a journey 💝

where my heart was knocked from inside that the journey is within and silent, a precious gift — the physical is a gift wrap to respect whomever we wish 💝 (Masjidil Haram, Mecca)
a life long pilgrimage of mine 💝 a private, silent, almost secretive so only I and whom I most love know the milestones 💗 others are guessing and interpreting 🙏🏼

Winning (ranting)

You’re winning my heart
When my goal’s the same as yours.
After days of loss—

FIFA 2022 has brought controversial practices and surprises from the beginning. I don’t have further comments on those political, yet I am so happy with Saudi Arabia and Japan winning against Argentina and Germany. What a victory!

I wish they win again and again and those big names lose more to balance the celebration. It is just a game yet sometimes a game should be won by those who have been underdog. I am not discriminative. 😁

Twitter too has been so much more crowded with the euphoric tweets about FIFA 2022. Exciting, hilarious, entertaining, some envious, abusive, violent though. Yet how much ever I want to click a like to soooo many “sweet” tweets, I remember my promise of not doing so for some time now. Playing in Twitter is a bit scary, buzzers and scammers are freely working, sending me irresponsible messages; better play safe and observe only. Or probably just my algorithm— 🙂

FIFA! It’s been annual celebration for football lovers, refresher for bored routine dwellers. We, —our father, siblings, cousins and I— would watch the games through national TV station together even over midnight to indirectly cheer our favourite teams. In Indonesia “nobar = nonton bareng” aka watching together (at home, community centers, cafes) is very common to enjoy sports games, badminton and football in particular — many people will do wide screen with noises and costumes of real supporters as if watching onsite. Our favourite teams were Netherlands, Brazil and England so we would be the noisiest when watching them. Not Indonesia? Of course, not! We love our national team but they are not yet ready to go beyond the country borders especially with the current funny management. Someday, someday! 😍

In Malaysia now, yet none of the people met was eager to talk about FIFA so we just talked about annual holiday at lunch break while enjoying Kapitan’s biryani and tandoori chicken. Unfortunately…. Or fortunately so I fully focus on work 🤓

‘ll be in Japan next week and love to see how euphoric Japanese are about this victory. Hopefully they will show more relaxed look and behaviour this time with the excitement. So excited! 🤩

Salaam.

so happy to see the winner happy esp after playing against a big name
so happy to see the winner happy esp after playing against a big name
wave your flag, human! it’s not only religious but also joyous! 😍 like those Arabs in FIFA time 😘
clean your waste, human! it’s not only joyous but also religious! 😍 like those Japanese in FIFA time 😘

The Journey (Big Panda and Tiny Dragon)

Two enter a gate
So they can end a journey
In a brand new start.

Found another book of “Big Panda and Tiny Dragon” by James Norbury in Changi Airport T3 today.

colour that is always stunning
an ever gate
feeling like an ever-incomplete being, the expansiveness is incredibly significant – there’s a need to see a vastness to finally realise that it’s all about accepting a limit
looking at the mirror
be scared as it is to experience 💗
heaven feels like flowing river – does it?
been lost physically and spiritually, and found too in both 💕
✌🏼
☕️
what’s next? 😍

Now Here

Now here is a point
Where start and finish collide.
A shadow of yours—

sometimes I just want to stay put where I am now with myself as with me I am complete 💕

Love Is

Two love birds singing
In a cage full of good food.
A choice to a love—

Love is…. ?

Love is…. ?

Love is…. ?

Damn! I can’t define it except that it is sometimes misunderstood with lust.

That it is often symbolised with a heart shape. Maybe most human beings believe love comes from the heart. Hey! Is that really the shape of a heart? Or just how we agree that it is a shape of the heart?

That it is discussed everywhere but also wasted everywhere.

What I believe love is a verb not a noun so without action, it is muted sooner or later. At the same time love is an energy that cannot be created or destroyed so it is there and will be there, yet it can transform and/or transfer between subjects. Compatibility (chemistry), heat (intensity), motion (intension), what else can change the form of love? (oops forgetting all the physics learnt when younger)…. Anyway, it transforms and transfers (circulates can be another word) between (or among if circulated) human beings. So, accept it.

I believe love is about interest that human being cannot select voluntarily. It is a blessing at the same time a curse. it can be love between two love birds inseparable, or Tom and Jerry entertainingly cruel for either of two, or as cold as Antarctica.

I believe love is the core power generator of life that if removed, life will disappear. Never give up love. Broken heart is just a milestone that brings a human being to deeper and deeper understanding about him/herself. Broken because of a crush? Broken because of family? Broken because of friendship? Broken because of work? Broken because of world reality? A human being can always fix it gradually with anger, disappointment then acceptance. Just don’t be broken because of yourself – you are the most precious for yourself.

I believe that the way someone loves evolves through time, and it will suit the person’s intention never not. There should not be regret of what has happened because of love. Yet it is a regret that some people still choose to constantly send covert or overt humiliation and torture to hurt intentionally and/or to disrespect further to those they don’t love, while the best way should be forgiving or clearly declaring clear disagreement. War is one of them. Yet liked or not, that is the evolution of loving.

This weekend comes with a basket full of lessons learnt, a heap of ideas to pour as blessings in writings that I can re-read someday in the future.

Thank you, Love. You are never wasted.

Alfatihah to all whom I love.

a love locket with a pair of love birds seen in Bangkok airport – I could not resist its charm! now it is a daily friend to my T key love pendant