graphs of my Universe
A wreath, Beloved,
A circle packed with beauty,
Arranged true colours—
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Dear Self,
When you’re bored, splash some paints! When you’re angry, splash some paints! When you feel happy, splash some paints! When you feel funny, splash some paints! When you get offended, splash some paints!
As honest as you to you when you’re alone, your colours speak the truth.
Yours truly,
Your own self 💞
Wasted it’s never
If blooming or not. Pretty
In its full cycle.
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Blessed again with 5 beautiful flower stems, accompanied by other beautiful growing not blooming orchids.
Beauty is not only in the flower. It is in the root, leaves, keiki, pot and their presence everyday.
Salaam.
🐣
Garden, Beloved,
Fertilized with poisons? Dead!
Cinder rose goes off.
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A group call with my brother and sister in law is mostly either stupid or crazy. Once we talked about the old time passing and our addiction.
How someone gets addicted to something is mostly started from a physical or mental exit of pain— either clinically prescribed or personally decided— followed by excessive dependency on the substances or the activities.
I’ve seen how people addicted to medicine (I was to pain killer), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc have changed from beautiful human beings into ugly persons either physically or mentally. It’s how awful co-dependency shapes someone’s life. Moreover, there is no addiction in any history that brings true happiness or freedom.
Three of us then discussed about someone who was addicted to something unusual: spiritual drills. Having all resources, the person went shopping on various classes and workshops about spirituality and self help such as meditation, mindfulness, tapping therapy, money magnet and how to optimise it spiritually, how to activate chakra, yoga and blahblahblah, gemstones and their spiritual power, mandala and spiritual awakening, how spiritual life pull financial abundance, spiritual traveling around many places, etc. One had been in one’s 60th class last time we met. One would be able to answer all questions in any possible ways. I called one ‘Mr/Ms Know All’, a euphemistic nick name that might be loved by those addicted to power and authority. Some friends called this person “Mr/Ms Spiritual Junky”.
What I remember about this person is that no one around was genuinely appreciated, everyone was just a “who-are-you-you-think-you’re-better-than-me”. One called most of one’s friends “cantrik”, a Javanese word that literally means follower/helper and would never be up to one’s level (one called one’s self healer and universe map reader).
How ironic! From someone who were full of compassion to someone who were full of envy and insecurity—
I think many if not all people to some extent were once addict who learned the lessons and changed the patterns to be free from co-dependency. My brother was a heavy smoker, been stopping for around 3 years. My sister in law was a Korean drama freak and quit. I myself was addicted to those I fell for and heavily overthinking.
“I almost got addicted to someone again.”
“Let go! Let go! Let go!” said they to me like cheerleaders.
Definitely! It’s a waste to wait for emotionally unavailable people to care that I care about them. I’m ok to get soaked in love and compassion but not in addiction to people. 💝
Addiction, oh addiction.
Alfatihah to all of those who are addicted to anything in any situation. Be healed and blessed.
Flowers scent the air
With messages telling her
To follow North Star.
The path brings her to the gate
Where home is a state of mind.
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Home is where the heart belongs to. This wanderer finds it where she is. Now and here….
Colours will fade away
At the front gate of
A new season,
Leaving beautiful memories
To the garden.
No regret, Beloved
If all are infused with love.
No right,
No wrong.
Only lessons,
And wisdom
Imprinted—
Cycle is short;
Life is forever.
Each of the pearls in a strand is perfect when it’s loose. And so is a cycle in your life—
If I owe you one cycle,
Beloved,
I’ll come back
With a bunch of fruits
Ready to harvest.
Ready to taste
By your own senses—
See you again,
Beloved.
Choose what seed you want me to grow.
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Flowers losing petals is a natural phase before plants are harvested for the fruits, the bulbs or other parts. Or, the flowers are the ones harvested to experience falling petals before they dry out naturally. It’s an end of one cycle at the same time a start of another.
May all beings be happy.
Lily bulbs come back
Among red leaves in autumn.
Second chance from Her—
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What is second chance? Once again? Or again and again like lily bulbs that come back every autumn and bloom beautifully until forever ends?
Mother Nature has taught me that mistake doesn’t come with punishment; it comes with lesson to be a better human being, someone who has purer intention and clearer attention. She consistently brings messages about acceptance that no one will be perfect as imperfection is an included package to realise and/or materialise perfection. That welcoming the next good day is doing the best today. That if the next now called tomorrow is here, the second chance has welcome me to be a better me. A me that’s more me than before—
I remember my Kyoto trip in 2014, my first encounter with spider lily. Fascinated, I sat down on the grass for quite long time in front of a temple with my camera until a beautiful Japanese (old) lady stopped by me.
“Hana! Hana! Hana!” She said smiling, with her thumbs pointed to the lily then to my camera.
“Ya! Ya! Ya! Thank you! Beautiful flowers!”
It was a surprise for me. A moment with no preparation. A short act with no anticipation. She just went away with her wise old smile.
That lady was probably sent to me as a second chance to re-define what possibly a Japanese truly looks like as the previous week I didn’t have a good experience with another one in Nagano.
I won’t probably meet with her again, yet enough for me to know that when I’m that age, I’d like to be as friendly and warm as her. 💝
Thank you for everything that comes with second chance, even second chance after my second chance so that in the second second chance I realise that it is my second chance not to be missed.
Al-Fatihah for all those who miss the second chance and those who are waiting for a second chance.
Salaam….
Both pictures are borrowed from https://www.japanvisitor.com/japanese-culture/seasons/higanbana
Jasmine is jasmine,
White, fragrant, tiny flower.
It sits in silence
Never bothered by roses
That stun eyes with the redness.
————————————————————
They gild the lily,
Making them salt to the sea.
Ocean in a drop—
———————————————————-
When I was very young, I could desperately envy those who were physically beautiful, intelligently wise and, spiritually mature at the same time. How could people be blessed with such full readiness to face the complex life and completeness to address its various issues? I’m sure I wasn’t alone; many human beings were on the same boat with me.
Yet getting older has helped me not want anything but more consistently feeling comfortable to be my own self and realising that those perfect people only looked perfect because they were perceived through imperfect eyes (my young ones 😉).
Proofs and revelation then taught me acceptance to live with limitation, imperfection and physical flaws. In many ways I’ve seen blessings in me more than the perfect.
Being ordinary has saved me from getting high demands to be a gorgeous woman who should move gracefully in front of the crowd, a pious person who should perform religion disciplinedly or a wise friend who should give good advices when needed anytime. I’m blessed!
Being ordinary has driven me to live with only two goals: to enjoy being my own self and to do what’s best in life to be as much beneficial in my short life. With not much to choose, life is forced to be the integration between persistence and dedication, a commitment of body, mind and soul.
Fortunately being flawed is like an ocean. Ocean is full of beauty especially the deeper the diver is willing to explore; like Captain Nemo who found beauty in the depth of the sea that wasn’t witnessed by those who never traveled in Nautilus. However, thousands of cubics of any possible wastes are also dumped to the vast water: plastics, oil, waste water, many kinds of garbage and probably millions of memories drawn by broken hearts. A perfect beauty full with paradox!
Rumi reminds through one of his verses “You are not a drop in the ocean; you are the entire ocean in a drop”. A perfection in imperfection—
Truly an existence is perfect when with natural flaws and complete acceptance.
Nothing is more blessed than accepting one’s own self and taking care of one along the journey.
Summary of today’s conversation with my best friend 🐣
May all beings be happy 💝
Plants greet gardeners,
Life shows generosity.
Optimism springs.
————————————————
Sometimes what she needs is optimising the sight in enjoying spectrums of light reflected through colours around her and rests. Then only a meadow of no feeling…. All can be called whatever it is, she prefers calling it beauty.
She realises rain has brought a lot of happiness to the orchids. It probably contains fertiliser triggering blooms and blossoms. Strong roots, healthy leaves, appearing flower stems, keiki. Thank you.
Nature greets those who’d like to take care of others who also want to survive, even the least of care is repaid.
Salaam….
Flow to the ocean,
Swim in the sea of blessings.
Experience life.
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Who doesn’t like good smell? Not necessarily perfume, yet perfume is one most common celebrated fragrance other than food—
While many perfume brands provide the customers with their concoction of scents, there are two prominent brands offering different ways of how they sell their collections.
One brand is making the perfumes following customers’ taste or favourite scents after some discussion. The assistant will go in to their “lab chamber” and go back after a couple of minutes presenting a bottle of perfume as what have been discussed. I love the rose that I chose— some orange as too note with rose in the middle and no base.
Another brand is even more transparently doing it. They spread bottles of many kinds of oil that are categorised in 3 perfume notes: top, middle and base. The customers are free to choose which and how many percents of each of them they want to have in the concoction. To me it’s an interesting experience, making me think of how my scent last: light, heavy, long lasting or not. Once the customers decide, the assistant will go to a lab corner open to the guests. The assistant will measure and weigh how much of those 3 notes are wanted. Customers can talk to her/him and try on the weighed mixture before finally they are ok with the customised fragrance. Some minutes later….
Tada! A bottle of a “perfume signature” is produced!
Another interesting feature: customers are allowed to engrave a 4-to-6-character word on the bottle! For free!
It’s like experiencing “I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.”
Welcome, next week.
Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—
————————————————
I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.
One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.
When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.
Time to prepare.
Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.
May all beings be happy. 💝
There’s a renewal;
Flowery, fruitage, once more.
Enlightened each day—
————————-————————
Life is like farming. A farmer only sows good seeds, waters the plant, weeds the grass in the field or garden, prunes the leaves or does other things simply to farm.
Whether or not flowers and fruit will appear, it is not in the farmer’s hand.
Remember, dear farmer. Do your best. Not because you want flowers and fruits but because that’s what you can and should do as a farmer.
Hey, maybe learning a little more about seasons and seasoning. The first is for you to manage the farm, the other is for you to make your life tastier.
Salaam…. 💝
Grasses, Beloved
Trashed out of lawn, kept in vase
Decorate the day.
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Weekend, be long enough for me to finish the laundry, to clean the house and to cook my dream lamb biryani 🥰
May all beings be happy.
If I can meet you,
I won’t stop calling your names.
Harvesting blessings—
———————————————————-
The orchids are bringing me some time to sit at home, admiring the beauty of nature gifts in pots.
Sometimes I don’t know what to do except accepting what is because beauty is just like that. Just like what?
Just like calling your names 💝
Salaam…
this white, favourite colour of mine
Beauty, Beloved,
Prescribed by culture; differed
Through one’s perspective—
————————————————————
When I was young, I faced difficulty in describing beauty. It was always society’s perspective taken. A question of “why beauty is so rigid” remained preserved.
Getting more mature, I got more freedom to describe what beauty was and found there was wider spectrum of what beauty was.
Now beauty is in everything everywhere as the eyes are not only seeing things through what’s culturally ascribed or prescribed. They have achieved a point that what are unlimitedly created can be freely appreciated. And, so is beauty—
We are created by The Beautiful who loves beauty. Why would not see all through the eyes of the creator?
May all beings be happy.
not perfectly beautiful coz it would dig my wallet too deeply if I wanted more; this is perfectly matched my beautiful day though and that’s perfect! 💝
Canna, you’re a maze.
An intricate bright beauty—
May I have jasmine?
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Some people behave like a maze alive. While impressing others with beautiful look, fascinating sweetness, deathly charms; they often hide the truest true.
Perhaps they are not ready with vulnerability as a result of experiences of untrue relationships. Or, the worst scenario is they have hidden agenda.
While it works wonder in literary or art (some authors or artists want anonymity or pseudonymity, and their works are better sold), it won’t work in friendship. It will be a total failure to some extent.
What are people trying to hide from those called closest friends…. if at the end the untruthfulness stops the friendship from functioning well? Why should ones be pretending?
To someone who is being forced by life for a seclusion:
Please be strong and learn to be vulnerably honest about yourself to your own self.
Wish you the best of the best. You’re a butterfly in the making. 💝
May all beings be happy….
You are, Beloved,
A complete self who finds new
Self one at a time.
————————————————————
A philosopher once said that change is the only constant and others agreed with the statement. When we see change as tangibility yes, I totally agree.
Yet about growth of self I have my own comprehension. Do I change? Yes, I get thinner or fatter, older with wrinkles and lines not younger, slower, weaker physically, less sharp sight, and so on and so forth. So I change? No, I’m still the same person with the same DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth, or other possible constants.
Not only that….
I believe I’m always this full yet I discover this self more and more everyday. With deeper and deeper understanding, wider and wider disclosure I have lived and accepted life.
Personally everyone is granted with talents, DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth. No one can deny those. No one can escape even one hates those and wishes to have been born someone else. Sorry, you can’t! Embrace the personality.
Yet everyone is given opportunity to build identity.
What did I want myself to be?
What did I not want to be associated with?
How did I want others to perceive me?
How did I not want others to treat me?
What?
How?
Whom do I want to enter my life?
Who will be part of my inner circle I want?
Whom?
Who?
Why have I done this and that? This is a very important question to even know the unbroken chains that has brought me to this state.
Am I still I am? Yes, definitely a constant! But am I me? No, you’re a different you since you’ve embraced constant self discovery.
😏
Me: Saturday night, keep me safe and warm.
Saturday night: You’ll be safe and warm if you finish your laundry and mop the floor. No one will do it!
Me: (losing all suddenly-pretending-to-be-wise act and thought)
Saturday night: 🤪 capek deh….!
May all beings be happy.
Freedom, Beloved,
Inner beauty blooms in time.
True celebration—
————————————————————
Celebration is a blessings enjoyed everyday. Celebrating health. Celebrating welfare. Celebrating family. Celebrating friendship. Celebrating breath. Celebrating greenery…… Celebrating anything I want to celebrate.
Celebrating stupid chats with some good friends. 😁
I love celebration in which commemoration is the core but never ever enjoy party in which entertainment is the core.
August is major celebration after September. In August two home countries celebrate their independence: Indonesia on 17, Singapura on 9. Both have unique ways to celebrate the days. For the past nine years on Singapura’s I’ve personally loved seeing all the flags hanging in apartments and along streets, in Indonesia’s except last and this years I’ve gone to the Embassy for flag ceremony combined with meeting with other Indonesians enjoying the precious moment together.
Happy National Day, Singapura! Thanks for taking care of me.
Dirgahayu Indonesiaku! How much ever the distance between us, you’re always in this heart. Thanks for gushing me some blood of great archipelago.
May all beings be happy.
flowers for celebrations of August
red, white on green
This love, Beloved,
Can’t buy your life. It’s too small,
A library card
To borrow books full of clues
With which the path is open.
This path, Beloved,
Stands arched, meeting at both ends,
Leaving colour dusts.
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Many words can’t explain the emotions experienced by human beings and what come out are symbolical beauty and serenity. For those who don’t like language will mostly get bored and or get misled with the real message.
That simply shows language is a great tool to communicate the idea and emotions yet what should always be remembered is that there are intrinsic and extrinsic factor to comprehend messages. Life isn’t WYSIWYG-based program to some extent.
At the end of the day it is about how I activate the radar through all senses to read messages around me.
Sometimes it is ok to misunderstand, but try best not to misunderstand 1 plus 1 equals 2 in basic Algebra.
Salaam.
unique
Flowers, Beloved,
Invite bees to pollinate.
Duo saviours—
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Bees are the most important agent to keep the human race alive. Without bees there won’t be crops because no plants are pollinated and human being won’t have things to eat and in four years all human beings are gonna die (summarise from an allegedly Albert Einstein’s statement – If the bee disappears from the surface of the Earth, man would have no more than four years left to live.)
Hey, dope! Bees won’t pollinate flowers in a vase! 🤪
Haha! Ok, please forgive me. I simply need flowers to keep insanity in tact for the next one week.
Thanks, Plants. Sorry, Bees.
May all beings be happy.
rike jokanan 
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