Remember Her

Relationship pattern changes over time and so does the way children relate with their parents. Although we are far away from each other, always remember the precious role of our parents especially mother. Oh anyway, I was closer to father. As he passed away, I become close to mother.

Dear Self, at least say hi through online chat or video call. Sending her the picture of our lunch would be a good sign that we are ok. Never let her worry about us, no matter what.

Taking A One-Day Leave

I’m taking a 1-day leave tomorrow just to do nothing but cooking my favourite food then washing the dishes!

I’m so cheap yes I am but I’m so excited! A day off on a week day means everything to me. I will wake up at the same time but I don’t have to check a timed to-do-list. I’ll do things without timer except following the boiling of the water, the colours of the cooked veggies, the aroma of garlic and herbs ready to welcome the next ingredients, the burn at the bottom of the wok and pan!

Sweet Tuesday, welcome me. I’m all for you!

Hey, human beings. Don’t disturb me!

Self Love Or Selfish?

Self love or selfish?
A striking question to me
From me about me.
The answer hangs up the call
Coming from behind my head.


—


Singapore, October 26, 2020 - 9:45pm

Arid Land, His Heart

I never want to hurt myself, I just didn’t know who you are.
I got hurt by a cactus in a desert
Who pricks little fingers,
Who just want to touch this life softly,
Not hurting, not taking anything away.


Wounded, I decided to blame stupidity:
Why did I have to have to have to have to have to just touch cacti? I should have left that arid land long before I touched a prickly spirit.


A delayed regret is less important than a lesson learned but it always gives a story the most significant pivot.


Now
I’ll just admire from here
From where I stand
With millions of prayers
For a secret journey.
Yet I know you are a ghost days and nights.


Someday when I pour down the rain,
You’ll know.
Love is as sweet as water in drought—
Maybe—
If it is not late....

May all beings be happy.

Stiff Neck No More?

Buckwheat hull pillow
Reduces stiff neck. If not,
A true marketer!

I couldn’t stand stiff neck anymore and decided to change my pillow into buckwheat hull. Once I tried one prominent brand but it felt too high (don’t like thick pillow) and it ended up stored on the rack.

Sobakawa pillow seems to be a very promising cure. Let’s wait if it really works, or the marketing just works.

May all beings be happy.

Who Is Your Best Friend?

Who is your best friend?
MacBook, iPad or iPhone?
Internet it is!

I can’t deny my % of interaction with outside of my body recently is through machines activated by Internet. Hope 2021 will bring the “real life” back to normal: when I do the job normally meeting people kindly at the same time evaluating honestly, when I can travel to home country to meet good friends and to favourite countries to absorb good energy, when I can smile to others without waving hand because of wearing face mask, when eating out is not limited except by the operation hours not by physical distancing, when things are natural.

‘m still happy though as Life has given so big a gift every now and then. I have family who love me and friends who accompany me in high and low. I work in a company that takes care of me very very well. All with the Beloved’s bless and love

So, I am still ok to be MacBooks, iPad and iPhone’s best friend for the next some months.

May all beings be happy.

May All Beings Be Happy

People who treat other people improperly will do it to animals. It’s in the blood. And so I never trust those who are not nice either to their own kind and/or to animals.

I have met people —they look like nice and respectable ones— who abuse others physically, verbally and/or emotionally from torturing to humiliating, underestimating up to ignoring. I’m sure those will do what they do to animals, too.

May all beings be happy.

Looking In To Self – haiku

Your self perception
Doesn’t represent true you.
So is self portrait.

10% of self portrait hasn’t even captured the spirit of the person being painted. It is either a failure of technique or absence of realism talent. Or both?

May all beings be happy.

Take A Break – haiku

What does Friday bring?
Laundry, canvas, wok and pan
Wrapped in a good mood.

My stubborn headache and stiff neck suddenly vanished this evening….


I naturally love my job and love it even more every day with the space between two weeks!

May all beings be happy.

Muslim Women Have Their Right Over Their Own Body

It takes courage for some women just to wear what they would love to so appreciate the freedom to do what you want to do responsibly.

Life is so generous and would it be wise for me not to be blessed just to be me?

May all beings be happy.

Amazed Everyday – simple skill

Have you ever been amazed? When I was younger, I was amazed mostly by extraordinary things in a “scientific” or “mystical” levels. By time I’m aging, I’m amazed every day by many trivial things that I ignored years ago.

I just felt so amazed how tiny mung beans can grow beautifully then tastefully just by soaking and watering them in 3 days. Who does the grow, my Beloved?

See the evolution of my mung beans. Anyway I don’t know where they are now…. 😁

May all beings be happy.

Soak in water for 12 hours.
Drain.
Cover it. Then place it in a shady or dark place.
Water it every 3 hours for 2-3 days.
2 days
3 days – I didn’t water it regularly on the last day so it became yellow….
Before it was gone….

Put Off Her Glasses

She sees way too dark.
She cries over her blessings.
Put off her glasses!!!


Do you see things colourful then the next time you see the same things blur and dull? I found it is about perspectives. You’ll be so amazed when you finally unlearn what you’ve learnt in life and find that life lies on a colour chart. Put off your glasses, dear Self. Your sunglasses have blocked you from the bright days!

May all beings be happy…..

Hujan, Rindu, Cinta

Hujan banyak bercerita. Rintiknya, derasnya, harum tanah yang tertimpa rinainya, segar hawa yang terhirup ke dalam lubang hidung, tusukan jejarum halusnya di titik-titik syaraf, raupan basahnya ketika telapak tangan mengusap muka dan sensasi hujan yang bergesekan dengan indera. Mereka telah membentuk jejak-jejak sejarah hidup. Yang terlupakan dan yang terkenangkan selama usia.

Malam ini hujan turun, kembali membasuh lembaran kenangan. Lantunan lagu-lagu mengentalkan rasa rindu pada Kekasih.

Sudah bermalam-malam rasa cinta ini tumbuh sejak kusadari rindu tak tertahankan.

Dulu. Dulu sekali, aku pikir rindu itu datangnya dari cinta. Baru tersadari di usiaku yang sekian ini bahwa cinta itu buah rindu.

Cinta itu lubang rindu nan tak pernah berhenti menganga.

Kupikir setelah patah hati, aku tak akan mencinta lagi. Pendapat itu tinggal pendapat semu, nyatanya rasa itu datang lagi. Yang menyedihkan adalat jatuh cinta pada Dia yang sama, makin lama makin besar cintanya.

Kugali dan kugali lagi. Bukan cinta sebab semua ini.

Rindu lah yang bertanggung-jawab atas penderitaan cinta.

Rindu lah yang seharusnya kupersalahkan.

Titik-titik hujan di jendela telah berubah menjadi aliran-aliran air. Cinta yang mulanya berupa bercak-bercak di permukaan hati menjelma menjadi danau yang menjadi pengawet hati.

Hati keras menjadi melembut. Yang dulunya tegar mudah terharu. Hati yang penuh dengan nama-nama perlahan hanya mengandungi satu nama. Satu saja.

Pernahkah kau jatuh cinta?

Jika kau mengaku belum, kau harus segera mengalaminya.

Rasa ini menyiksa tapi membuat indah dunia.

Setiap mengingat Dia, manusia memulas warna baru pada senyum dan sorotan mata.

Ketika menyadari bahwa kau tak mungkin mendapatkan Dia, kau menyegarkan hati dengan pemakluman bahwa tak semua uluran tangan disambut dengan ramah.

Segeralah jatuh cinta, sebelum sang waktu menorehkan akhir cerita di kitabmu.

Jatuh cintalah dan warnai rindumu dengan kebaikan hati, penerimaan dan pemakluman. Atau jika cintamu masih muda; marahlah, kecewalah, berteriaklah, panggil namanya dengan penuh rasa niscaya hatimu akan dipenuhi dengan makna hidup yang sesungguhnya.

Rasa rinduku tak pernah hilang. Tak akan pernah sirna.

Wahai Kekasih, semakin hari rindu ini semakin menguar memekat di udara, dihirup olehku dan sesama manusia. Dan cinta ini tak akan berakhir; mungkinkah kita bersua? Doaku melagukan sebuah perjumpaan. Atau jika kita tidak ditentukan berjumpa, aku tak mau lagi berjumpa walau sekali, tak sudi kumau berjumpa.

Hujan tak kunjung berhenti. Alunan musik itu masih ada.

The sun is out, the sky is blue
There's not a cloud to spoil the view
But it's raining, raining in my heart
The weatherman says clear today
He doesn't know you've gone away
And it's raining, raining in my heart
Oh, misery, misery
What's gonna become of me?
I tell my blues they mustn't show
But soon these tears are bound to flow
'Cause it's raining, raining in my heart
But it's raining, raining in my heart
And it's raining, raining in my heart
Oh, misery, misery
What's gonna become of me?
I tell my blues they mustn't show
But soon these tears are bound to flow
'Cause it's raining, raining in my heart
Raining in my heart
Raining in my heart

Slowing Down – haiku

The steps have slowed down,
Taking a deep breath, exhaled.
She's feeling the now.

Is 24 hours enough? Everybody has the same length of time everyday but not everyone is able to appreciate how short it passes without being enjoyed and experienced….

Forgive me, dear Self for making you so dragged with all the fast-paced seconds unaware of what you are really doing. Now take a deep breath and feel the now…. There will be a day, a very long day of 24 hours but feel like it is a forever joy!

I think I am mad…. Talking to myself as if I am two or three or many…. Like Trahald in The Lord of The Rings. No worry, everybody has Trahald, Bilbo Baggin, Frodo, Samwise, Legolas, Gandalf, Arwen, Elrond, Eowyn, Gimli, urukhai, …. Take time to feel each of their presence, but don’t be one of them all the time. Just be yourself with some dose of all of them at the right time by slowing down….

May all beings be happy.

Gandalf

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