Reflections

The eyes, Beloved,
Bury what was once alive,
Mark eternity.

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Maybe it’s your eyes when I look in to them. And mine when I look through the heart.

Welcome the weekend.

Limited Edition For Unlimited Time

Only, Beloved,
Unnecessary limit.
Roam. Do celebrate.

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Weekend always opens my eyes to see that life isn’t only about balancing or fulfilling. Life is sometimes about emptying what’s full and making regular things odd, because celebrating is about putting one more milestone where a journey restarts.

September, thank you for giving me many signs which I can and cannot read. The unread is queueing to be deciphered. Wish you give me the answers so I can have more celebrations in life.

May all beings be happy…. 💝

my dream is to cook my own biryani soon, now eating it from the store is a dream-come-true – I didn’t see the need of unpacking it. Hajaaaar! 😄🥰

Three Words

Three words wait for you
To say to those around you:
Beloved darling—

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Words in poem

Colours in painting

Voice in songs

Air in breath

Prayer in silence

Steps in walk

Choose one way to say I love you…

Harvest

If I can meet you,
I won’t stop calling your names.
Harvesting blessings—

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The orchids are bringing me some time to sit at home, admiring the beauty of nature gifts in pots.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do except accepting what is because beauty is just like that. Just like what?

Just like calling your names 💝

Salaam…

this lasts for about 3 months
these duets are the most frequent show-off
she’s been around 1.5 months and still shiny

this white, favourite colour of mine

Be Hungry, Don’t Starve

Hunger, Beloved,
A good friend. Not starving though—
The latter’s killing.

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Hungry is needing and nurturing; starving is craving and suffering. Knowing what is needed becomes significant; be just hungry, not extremely hungry that causes craving for more than the capacity.

…. In another case, love. Don’t demand. Universe know what you deserve. 💝

I’m a happy birthday-clown; ready to kiss the world and kick the other side of it. 👻

Welcome one new cycle. Give me good surprises, the bad are all expired!

Salam….

today’s early dinner, also this year’s celebration – many happy return! was it hunger or starvation? 😛

Beauty

Beauty, Beloved,
Prescribed by culture; differed
Through one’s perspective—

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When I was young, I faced difficulty in describing beauty. It was always society’s perspective taken. A question of “why beauty is so rigid” remained preserved.

Getting more mature, I got more freedom to describe what beauty was and found there was wider spectrum of what beauty was.

Now beauty is in everything everywhere as the eyes are not only seeing things through what’s culturally ascribed or prescribed. They have achieved a point that what are unlimitedly created can be freely appreciated. And, so is beauty—

We are created by The Beautiful who loves beauty. Why would not see all through the eyes of the creator?

May all beings be happy.

not perfectly beautiful coz it would dig my wallet too deeply if I wanted more; this is perfectly matched my beautiful day though and that’s perfect! 💝

Live Forever

Glory, Beloved,
Living doubts by loving hopes.
Time is my beacon.

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Reading the holy book, I found time is used to testify for many different things in different verses. Night, morning, dawn, dusk, time, moments, etc are used repeatedly in a lot of diction. It shows how important and powerful time is.

By the ˹passage of˺ time! Surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss, except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-‘Ashr/The Declining Time)

Time is that precious that it is scripted as proverb in some culture. Time is money in a culture that indicates people will lose money if they don’t manage the time well. Time is sword in another one that indicates only when sharpened, it will effectively work in a battle. In other cultures time is integrated in the life schedule related to seasons and celebrations.

What is time to this person? Not money, not sword. Time is a sign telling to start, to stop, to pause, to continue, to turn, to go straight or to take U-turn. Time is a when falling on to a nice where to create a moment of truth.

As long as the beacon beams its light, I’ll continue the journey.

Even if forever? Yes, even if forever as I know forever is a count down.

Shape A Good Heart

Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—

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Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though

With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.

Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam….

where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝

Fresh And New

One note, Beloved,
A dewdrop touching the grass
Intonates a song.

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Whispering good prayers as softly as the the vapour drips millions of dewdrops in harmony on the grass, greeting the earth for a new day—

Salaam….

iphone wallpaper

Beauty In Spectrum

Canna, you’re a maze.
An intricate bright beauty—
May I have jasmine?

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Some people behave like a maze alive. While impressing others with beautiful look, fascinating sweetness, deathly charms; they often hide the truest true.

Perhaps they are not ready with vulnerability as a result of experiences of untrue relationships. Or, the worst scenario is they have hidden agenda.

While it works wonder in literary or art (some authors or artists want anonymity or pseudonymity, and their works are better sold), it won’t work in friendship. It will be a total failure to some extent.

What are people trying to hide from those called closest friends…. if at the end the untruthfulness stops the friendship from functioning well? Why should ones be pretending?

To someone who is being forced by life for a seclusion:

Please be strong and learn to be vulnerably honest about yourself to your own self.


Wish you the best of the best. You’re a butterfly in the making.
💝

May all beings be happy….

canna lily, “bunga tasbih” in Indonesian, the intricate bright beauty
jasmine sambac, “bunga melati” in Indonesian, the simple humble beauty

What’s Life About?

Your life, Beloved,
Isn’t about happiness.
Find meanings in it.

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When seeing the definition of happiness in most of this life time, I found that many of the items in the bucket were material. Wanting to have this, to buy that, to get $, to add more travel destinations, and so on and so forth. I saw life was a storage of hoarded things.

When doing so, I mostly forgot the importance essence in what I did. Peaceful mind, wise decisions, appreciation to self for working hard, tapping shoulders for being able to control negative emotions, breathing slowly of the air in different places, and so on and so forth. I took it for granted until I found those have given me deeper serenity.

Last week there was time when I felt annoyed with something, giving me back the terrible headache I hadn’t had for so long. I drew the curtain and found that the sky was not collapsed yet then I whispered a thank-you. Gradually I felt calm again and new ideas popped up like bubbles from a fish mouth.

It takes just 3 seconds to bring back good mood.

May all beings be happy.

sometimes what you need to do is just drawing the curtain….
…. to see life isn’t about the happiness you define; it’s broader than that, it’s about how your existence is not for nothing 🪶

Memory

Freshness, Beloved,
Breathing in and out the air
Loaded with blessings—

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Beautiful memory is as fresh as tropical fruits.

Define beautiful! That drawing a smile on a face, like you….

Define fresh! That popping up when soul arrives from travel in the morning, like you….

May all beings be happy.

tropical fruits of the week 💝

Walking The Dark

Value, Beloved,
Not only talked; also walked—
White cane of the blind

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One teacher said talking and walking the value consistently is one of the safest way of life. Challenging though especially where many are unknown or unfamiliar—

Yet it takes integrity to stay in a value.

“Hey! What about economical value? Political value?“ asked the students.

Teacher said,”When it is about taking advantage from others, we’d better not call it value.”

“What would you call it then?”

“Hmm…. I don’t know, whatever you call it as long as you don’t harm yourself and others.”

“Sometimes those who know don’t know….,” said one student whispering almost no voice.

“Some things just don’t have exact name. They are simply known and felt,”said the teacher in the heart smiling and walking ahead.

Aah! It takes a journey to be a student. It takes a journey to be a teacher. The same journey, different lessons 💝

Salaam…

keeping value as an ethical beacon in life

Connection

Fungi, Beloved,
Connects roots of trees on earth.
How do you connect?

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I saw a cluster of mushrooms and wonder what they were discussing. Maybe they were weaving cables beneath the grass sending messages among trees around, like human beings sending iMessages and emails to each other. Or maybe like soul sending good energy in unison in silence—

May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼

fungi networking

All Directions Are To The Same End

Blessings, Beloved,
Accepting with no review—
See it differently.

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Today’s short message from a wise friend takes one of the longest thought. Lucky me for being alone so the time and space is serving just me.

Sometimes our emotion isn’t our emotion. It might be someone else’s that sits in us because some people entrust the emotions to us when sharing their burden to us. Believe it or not there is exchange of energy when beings are interacting with each other. We get sad when our family is sad. We are upset when our best friends are betrayed. We can be devastated when our pets pass away. The scale of the impact depends on how deeply they get hurt and/or how vulnerable we are to them. As simple as that.

When I asked this good friend why people or incidents are not avoidable although I’ve made best effort to stay away. Her message is “karma”. She is a Buddhist so that reply is her logical response. Besides I see the logic of karma thing.

Although I can’t tangibly prove that I live repeated lives, I live in karma system. If I do good, I get good. I do no good, I get no good. Simple and straightforward forward— whether the cause is the good one in the past affecting the current situation; or the present good deed affecting the future (not necessarily related to repeated life), that’s a certainty

But why the karma isn’t working as one to one? No, karma works like someone who plants mango seed – one mango seed will only give its fruits when it’s ready and the one seed will give the farmer hundreds of mango fruits. That karma. Alamak….!

So what should I do, Bude? I asked my friend.

Her message (translated into English word by word): that is your task of compassion.

So?

Accept it. Grow more good seeds that bad one. Pour clean water to your jug that is filled with dirty water until the jug is overflown with clean water and the dirty is flushed out.

So I can’t avoid them and don’t need to avoid them. The only thing I should do is to accept them without review. The only mandatory review is to my own emotions; understanding whether the emotion is my emotion or unnecessary impact that happens because of weak protection membrane around my own self.

This is not new thing for all of us. Yet 2020 and 2021 have been field of emotional battle in which I’ve learnt how to identify my own and others’. What a period! I wish all is getting better with the upcoming birthday. Amen.

So lucky to have good friends who are willing to accompany me in this journey.

Dear God, love me and love all my good friends. Thank you for giving the blessings of friendship, true one with true one. Please let me stay in the true one.

Salaam.

wherever the directions, the end is love and compassion, nothing else – if we accept it

Treasure

Treasure, Beloved,
Hidden, might not be found
Without accident—-

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Look at your mistakes, Self. Sometimes they bring you the more precious.

Thanks for buying the rib while it should have been ox tail. But it turned out to be a better yum than ever imagined!

And so is mistake in life!

Makaaan!

Constant Discovery

You are, Beloved,
A complete self who finds new
Self one at a time.

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A philosopher once said that change is the only constant and others agreed with the statement. When we see change as tangibility yes, I totally agree.

Yet about growth of self I have my own comprehension. Do I change? Yes, I get thinner or fatter, older with wrinkles and lines not younger, slower, weaker physically, less sharp sight, and so on and so forth. So I change? No, I’m still the same person with the same DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth, or other possible constants.

Not only that….

I believe I’m always this full yet I discover this self more and more everyday. With deeper and deeper understanding, wider and wider disclosure I have lived and accepted life.

Personally everyone is granted with talents, DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth. No one can deny those. No one can escape even one hates those and wishes to have been born someone else. Sorry, you can’t! Embrace the personality.

Yet everyone is given opportunity to build identity.

What did I want myself to be?

What did I not want to be associated with?

How did I want others to perceive me?

How did I not want others to treat me?

What?

How?

Whom do I want to enter my life?

Who will be part of my inner circle I want?

Whom?

Who?

Why have I done this and that? This is a very important question to even know the unbroken chains that has brought me to this state.

Am I still I am? Yes, definitely a constant! But am I me? No, you’re a different you since you’ve embraced constant self discovery.

😏

Me: Saturday night, keep me safe and warm.

Saturday night: You’ll be safe and warm if you finish your laundry and mop the floor. No one will do it!

Me: (losing all suddenly-pretending-to-be-wise act and thought)

Saturday night: 🤪 capek deh….!

May all beings be happy.

pretty sword lilies and asiatic lilies – sorry, not today, no budget!!!

Journey

Time flies, Beloved
Wraps a flying plane. Bless me
At my travel end.

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Finally met my Sensei again after some time! In June I took a break because of some sickness and work. In July and early August she did because she had to take care of her family who were infected with the virus.

We didn’t open the book at all last night. Only a happy reunion checking what had happened for the past 2.5 months without meeting just some hello via messaging. Conversation flew about language, culture and personal experience dealing with both.

At one point she interestingly described about pleasure and purpose that compose happiness.

She decided to retire from her position as a VIP in one of the biggest business empire in the world before she was 40. She knew that she could not work forever and she wanted her own self not her age to decide when she had to quit. She thought she was ready and here she is now, an independent woman with a lot of personal projects and teaching Japanese with a style!

When she worked, she did with all her heart. She didn’t involve herself in office politics that made her not a social darling but definitely made her a genuine and independent loyal. She made decision with wisdom and integrity that made her a leader-maker but at the same time a strong gate of ethics. And she shined in her own way!

A sun is a sun when it knows when it rises and sets. And my Sensei is one.

She said it was a pleasure to work in her position with much luxury but she left because she didn’t see the real purpose she was serving. She was rich but true happiness was missed. She moved out from her luxurious apartment in the heart of Jakarta and rent it out, and moved to her mother’s home – a home full with flowers and good neighbours in East Jakarta. She restarted balancing pleasure and purpose.

Pleasure makes someone’s life sustain but without purpose there is no true sustainability. When one outgrows the other, happiness tank isn’t optimised. Pleasure and purpose is also a blend of colours that creates a perfect hue.

When I said whether she was afraid of losing the grip for having no routine, she said yes for the first two months of her early retirement; she felt somewhat regret of giving up the corporate vibe. She felt like cutting herself off from the world. In those two months she just went out eating, driving, cleaning the house. And after that her life started to bloom in different ways.

She found many more opportunities that she didn’t even know existing. And she is still rich with more leisure time and true friends. She said life is miracle.

Before pandemic she often traveled to smaller islands in the archipelago as a volunteer and annually visited Japan as her old habit. She said she wants to continue that after the pandemic is over, when Heaven knows.

When I said I wish I could do it, she said no. She said what I’m doing is what she dreamt of in corporate life before: having the pleasure of working with purpose. Conversation went more even livelier, we skipped the Japanese lesson and shared about our dreams. A more interesting class!

Last night was one of the great time in life when the feeling of balance surrounds me.

It was 1:07am when we finally said good bye. See you next week, Sensei! Thanks for the lessons.

Life is full of Teachers. Learn from them. But don’t forget the Master in you, live with one with love.

May all beings be happy.

fly life a fire bird to meet the love