You Like It Or Not, Feel Good

Orange horizon
Warms her dusk, welcomes her night.
Weekend’s over soon.

———————————————————

How beautiful is the sunset in the west? The color, the shape, the impression plus the drama that it can create. That’s how poetic a natural phenomenon can be in the hand of a literary person.

How high is sun’s temperature? Burning, suffocating without oxygen, lack of blue and green all red. That’s how emotionless a sunset can be through scientific point of view.

I prefer feeling good…. 🎼

Live Longer? Keep Fit!

Chasing the sunset,
Pushing cardio. Keep fit.
For one happy breath—

———————————————

Living healthily. That’s enough to make one happy…. Eh? Not really. I mean that’s condition #1 of being happy. 🤩

Ready for another packed week! Oh, dear Corona…. Would you please spare me from your not-only-making-people-sick-but-also-making-them-super-busy?

May all beings be happy.

Salam….

feeling so free with just me! 💞

Am I Free

I’m a torch no more.
I’m a morning for my day
To be. Am I free?

————————————————————

Just one click! Then the monitor shows something brighter and full of hopes! Vast ocean of happiness—

Why is it so blocked to be optimistic? Take a mirror, unlock just one sweet smile, look into the smiling face more deeply a little bit longer and know why…. Dear, Love. Just one click!

May all beings be happy.

Beautiful Scars

Bruised and scarred she is;
A stained-glass window to see
Both sides of her world.

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22:22 / Sunday – June 6, 2021

I thought all of those were wounds and warts until observing carefully. I’ve been living with a beautiful stained-glass window which puts colours and gives unique perspectives when seeing inside and outside. As long as it doesn’t derail from being a human being, I think I’m blessed.

Why shouldn’t I be thankful and happy? 💞

And….

May all beings be happy.

Salam.

Luxury

What is luxury?
The rarely found, Beloved
Regardless its price—

Some find synonyms of luxury in caviar, Hermes, Lambo, penthouse, blahblahblah…. Not always

It’s my luxury today! 🥰

Tada….! Incredibly delicious! True luxury!
Lack of convincing colours, I was doubtful of its flesh and taste.
Fondue fork is quite useful
Banana again 👍🏽

Add Acceptance To Each Plan

This night gets longer.
More dreams linger in silence.
Lid the bucket list.

————

I pray to have enough time to be able to visit all places in my bucket list as 2020 and 2021’s trips are unchecked. If only dreaming is stoppable,

Thanks God I enjoy getting lost walking or biking that’s the best option in this cute island.

May all beings be happy.

🍀

Plan as if you live forever. Accept today as the best gift.

Language of Dreams

Almost given up:
Milestones to reach the final.
Language of dreams

Japanese is almost as difficult as Arabic but I didn’t find hard time learning Arabic as the brain was much fresher with more time to focus on lessons by then. I almost gave up this Japanese lesson as I felt too slow. Until today mixing up between シ and ツ still happens again and again. Different forms of adjective and noun when tenses change still confuse me. The crazy kanji has also tortured me. Why did I even learn this language? 🤪 Drama! 🥰

But hey! I won’t stop until I can read and compose beautiful poems in Japanese. Too much a dream? Ok, I won’t stop until I can present the company’s Code of Conduct in Japanese! Making more sense! 😁

If the teacher isn’t this good, I might have given up earlier. The Sensei is such an expert of Japanese language and culture that she can make me understand why those Japanese I’ve met have behaved so strangely not as I expected Japanese I thought would be. 😝

Some people are just so “like that” regardless they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Singaporean or any other….. Life is so interesting, take it easy!

God bless all….

One of the easy thing I was frustrated of….! What a stupid me! Look at the ugly frustrated hand writing! 🥶

Sweetness In Heart

Beyond layered skies
Is beauty unknown, my Love
I’ll never give up.

This I wishes happiness to that you across the ocean although the you never knows….

God bless Louis Armstrong who’s bringing sweetness to the heart even when he is not here anymore. 💞

(Un)Fortunately

Ripple can disturb
A placid lake. Tidal wave
Won’t change a rough sea.

I’m a small lake, whereas you’re the wide sea. Dear, with the roughness you can’t feel the softest heart. Too bad….

May all beings be happy.

dim light captures silence

Doesn’t Look Like Any….

You’re a paradox.
Close but distant; tangibly
Impalpable sphere—

I know you’re around. I just know. I trust you, Beloved. You smell like mid spring, sound like jazz, taste like sugar cane, feel like breeze, but not sure look like what….

May all beings be happy.

fresh, relaxing, sweet, flowing song

Love Or Pride

Is it love or pride
To push through? Fortunately
Engineerable—

Some choose love over pride, some pride over love. No one can truly win over either because love and pride can be carved on to two faces of a coin. Ones need to toss the coin and get any appearance of one face not by luck. It is well designed, constructed and furnished.

How?

Culturally obviously….

True, Love. As long as you are being human, you can never absolutely win over one over another (the other?). It’s about how you grow through all dimensions in which you are: physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, economically, politically.

Accept it.

May all beings be happy.

Mount Bromo, where sun cheerfully rises

What I Trust

What is after this?
What shall we be transformed, Love?
Trust me, Beloved.

Trust is my key. It is with what I address what I can’t see behind the curtains. Be it good or bad, the journey is ahead. God bless each breath I take and the air I release….

May all beings be happy.

Let’s wear the key again….

Heaven Is Where?

Where are you now, Love?
Home is around the corner.
Turn right and be there.

One of good friends sent her work of art, compiling her memories of Sulawesi trips into a sweet calling-home clip.

Thank you, Mbak Adek for reminding me that I’ve got home, a beautiful one. A beautiful home is a heaven on earth and in heart.

Home is where heaven is. Good friends make you realise that it’s real!

Salaam.

This video was produced by Adek Azhar. She is a cat lover, a happy mother and grandmother, a good friend, a crazy traveler, a senior journalist as best description of her. Can’t wait to travel with her after pandemic in our small group of awkward travelers! 💞

Being Neighbours & Banana

What’s being neighbours?
Readily help and share with;
Willing to be, too—

My homebase starts materializing. Yay! It is in Yogyakarta, a small city that is socio-culturally integrated (different ethnic, religion and political groups are well blended), not so crowded and modern (sayonara, Jakarta!), with existing international airport, etc, etc, etc. And one most important thing is good friends are living there.

I always love to be and to have good and reliable neighbour(s). Those good friends will be my neighbours from whom I will get help and support when needed and who are willing to get helps and supports from me. They are not in the same housing complex but still in the same city.

For the past four days my menu has been all about banana. Banana for breakfast. Banana for lunch. Banana for dinner. Banana either cooked or just eaten not cooked. How much ever I felt bored with banana, I had to finish the banana because neighbours confirmed of not liking and wanting banana. Their expressions of “oh that banana?”, “banana hahaha”, “ummm banana but…” left a tiny puncture on my poverty pride. Maybe next time I’ll share gold or cash and see if the puncture moves to another point hahaha…

My “active neighbours” said to me it is not so common to share food with “any neighbours” nowadays. Or, they want to give but they don’t want to accept. Yes, yes, they are so right. I learnt another lesson about this people.

My so called “active neighbours” nowadays are the cleaning services and security guards with whom I can share food and wishes freely. Hey, hey I never share left over, all food is either cooked by me or packed from stores/restaurants purposefully for them. Respect to all my active neighbours. 🙏🏼

When I shared the pictures of those cooked banana in the Instagram and how much I’d love to share the banana (cooked or not cooked) with neighbours, my neighbours-will-be in Yogyakarta gave welcoming comments including they would love to share their cookings too, and that alone has made me confident of moving to that city and hopefully living comfortably there in the (not so near) future.

Sometimes I feel that I don’t belong to this place. Yet I know I have to be here for some time before leaving these things behind and enjoy being a human living side by side with others without other temporary identity; just being me, being human.

I know it will happen, not very soon; but it will happen. Now I am happy with this temporary identity and want to be a good neighbour for anyone who is willing to be my neighbour.

One more thing: I’ll grow banana in the future homebase and cook the best banana recipe and share it with neighbours there! 😂

May all beings be happy.

second day of cooked banana – the first day was banana cake but not so nice to take picture of, I also took my vitamin with un-cooked banana on those two days 😩
third day of banana; aside from this I took my vitamin with un-cooked banana and ate one after the main course at lunch
last batch of banana on fourth day; I also took my vitamin with an un-cooked banana and ate the last one un-cooked and celebrated my freedom from banana! 🤩

Dream Brings Back Wisdom

Defined with honour,
Integrated in mindset:
Sublime happiness—

Having beautiful dreams everyday for one week is blessings in a row. The best of mine recently was finding so many ruby stones while walking home. When waking up, sense of calmness and relief were present yet at the same time a question of whether happiness was here. In the dream I still had to polish the ruby to shine, but at least those stones were given to me.

A couple of years ago I joined a noble silence in Bali, a one-week-no-gadgets-no-books-no-media-no-talk-just-be-with-yourself-although-living-in-a-dorm-with-other-people-and-be-vegetarian-plus-meditation-almost-the-whole-day. A top luxury for someone like me

Not about the noble silence, but a lot of things came back to me especially on how happiness is perceived by different people with different social, cultural, economical backgrounds.

In that noble silence there attended many different people from all walks of life: someone working in a prominent firm in NYC, fashion designer from Paris with one’s daughter, a family from Australia, a rich flight attendant of one of the best airline on earth, a rich person naming himself a party animal, a young start up owner who once talked in front of a president of the super power, an entrepreneur from Spain with one’s daughter, all others I can’t remember who because we practically didn’t introduce each other further. We stared and smiled with each other maybe once for that one week because each was simply busy with one’s self.

I was surprised that those who appeared so proud and happy and unshakeable finally shared in the closing ceremony how they struggled in life and how the noble silence brought realisation to them — simply by befriending with themselves. We were broken with different reasons: family matters, public cases, friendship, romance, work, trauma, fear of things and so on and so forth.

One more thing, struggling is not about how big the problem is but it is about how something disturbs the state of one’s clear mind. Nothing is defined too small when it shakes the boat.

I miss another noble silence, one of the biggest luxuries of life.

May all beings be happy.

my humble ruby stone found in a small shop in Kuching

The Blessed Drupadi

Rolled dice, Beloved
Can cheat or give you luck. Choose
When to stop or lose.

Pandhawa Lima (5 brothers of Pandhawa) and the Kurawa (100 = 99 male and 1 female, all born from one time pregnancy), both were since childhood to maturity in a forever competition, rivalry and finally Kurusetra war!

I first read Mahabharata, Baratayudha when I was 10 years old. Comic series by R.A. Kosasih. I bet you’ll like them – unfortunately only in Bahasa Indonesia.

I always interpreted the rivalry between those two clans as a battle between good and evil. That everything happening between them was because Pandhawa wanted to eradicate evil, celebrated the good, wanted to make sure the kingdom was well governed, people were well protected with good welfare. Hmm…. I mean yes it was…. But is that the only angle to picture the stories? What was the cause of the war?

Until one day…. My brain was twisted and started to re-read between the lines. Since then I have agreed with those thinking that what Pandhawa had done was to fight for the right of one beloved woman, Drupadi. In Javanese culture Drupadi was the dear wife of Yudhistira (the oldest of the five) and the sister in law of the four (Bima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sadewa).

Drupadi was harassed by Dursasana in a betting party where Yudhistira let her the ultimate bet after he had spent everything the kingdom had in the game. Yudhistira was a highly respected king yet his weakness was one of them his liking to betting and gambling.

So, the epic war between the good Pandhawa and the evil Kurawa is to show how men respect and defend the women around them.

How would those who have read this epic story can’t see this significant line?!

I’m blessed to be a woman. And I hope someday I’ll be with a man who has the dignity to take a side of me when I have no one to defend, has the courage to respect a “weaker creature” when he has other options not to.

Happy International Women’s Day

It is not a one-day holiday or celebration, it is an everyday celebration to stay dignified and loving at the same time as a woman.

May all beings be happy.

Drupadi ceramic statue by F. Widayanto