Floating So High

Keeping afloat, buoyant freely swaying playing the waves in the sky—

Coldplay never fails me

A Loving Visit

A loving visit beyond time and space. Salaam. Universe answers.

about the museum
beloved
beloved
beloved
when you’re loved, people still visit you even when you’re nowhere 💝
when you’re loved, you’re taken care of even when you’re nowhere
beloved – visiting him with love, see you again
beloved – visiting him with love, see you again

Travel

Travel light is fun,
With so little to carry.
Prancing deer,
Safe in the forest,
No tiger,
No bear,
Just green and breeze.

Travel full is peace,
With all so prepared.
Walking elephant,
Graceful in the desert,
No hyena,
No lion,
Just sun and breeze.

Let’s travel
With light heart,
Flying eagle,
Free in the high,
No storm,
No lightning,
Just blue and breeze.

Let’s travel
With full heart,
Humming alpaca,
Peaceful in the hill,
No distress,
No agitation,
Just earth and breeze.

distracted between travel light and travel full 🥸
decided with travel full 😎 so full!

It Does Well

It sways flexibly
In stormy days.
It grows calmly
In sunny days.
It roots perennially
In the meadow.

It sings;
It hums;
It mutes;
It sees;
It hears;
It touches;
It tastes;
It smells;
In silence
Perfectly.

It does well.

these flowers survive the storm and continue living in bright days on and on and on between those two situations only through a friendship with the meadow 💝

Ode to Day

Dear, day.
Do you know that I never stop waiting for you?
When my watch ticks a second,
My heart drips a note,
My pulse vibrates softly,
I know I am closer to you.

Dear, day.
Do you know that every part of you blesses me?
When morning breaks,
Noon flares,
Dusk fades to night,
I know the next you is waiting
For me.

Day oh day
Many I can’t understand,
Much I can’t decipher,
Little I can see,
Very few I can give
Yet I still hope
To meet you again.

Dear, day.
How I am blessed with family,
Gifted with friends,
Sufficed with this self,
You are still the one
Sung by this heart.
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
All have been today
And never faded away.

I am blessed, day
With another you
In the best way.

And for you
I am grateful.

as dark as serene night
as shadowy as calm dusk
as bright as each and every morning
she is well protected under the shade of glorious sunflowers 💝
dear sunflower 💕
and the white drops of details
when all glass vases are prioritised for orchid roots, fondue pot be today’s best choice 💝
all must be got rid of in order for the flower arrangement to get a spacious and “clean” background — there is always thing to prioritise; if it is not you, don’t feel bad — it’s just like that everyday so just be blessed with becoming either 0 or 1 in this binary world 💕

Two Towers

Towers will mostly collapse of weak foundation…. Or the strongest quake

Petronas Twin Towers from taxi 👍🏽
solanum on the reception table 💝
no one can make me feel not good if I don’t allow myself to – it’s a commitment as strong as tower with solid foundation, not only a lip service. KL, see you soon 🔥

A Home (ranting)

A bird builds a nest in what its mother describes a home. Protection—

No one is truly detached from one’s root and that is a foundation that should not be shaken. Foundation is the last and foremost protecting part of a building. When others try to shake adult mature’s foundation principles, they are sooner or later surely destroying a construction that has been built carefully and systematically through parenting, education and culture especially in early age.

Still want to change your friends to be like what you want them to be? It is either killing them inside or killing you inside. Worse is both don’t realise that the other is dying or dead inside; even think there is a good change considered “a success to educate (wrong) friends”. Ah….! Illusion.

Solution? Eh? How would you treat a beautiful gift given to you? Don’t try changing others’ foundation principles. Instead accompany them grow to their best version as they are.

And for those not even appreciating their own or others’ roots: congratulations, you are doomed. Oops! I mean it takes longer time for you to reach true goals. 😁

Salaam.

💝

fly, achene. find a home where you rest your dreams.

Year by Year (Life Long Resolution)

Thank you, 2022 for every single second spent together. You are a stronger part of what I’ve been building with love. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And thanks to all years passing, too. I’ll miss you. 💝

Life is wonderful that she is eager about it and is willing to expand and to keep up with what she is becoming. She is the pilot, she is the plane. She is the destination, she is the direction. She is the standard, she is the conformance. She is the alignment, she is the aligned. She is enough.

It is not others’ responsibility that she feels good or not good. The feel existing is because she allows it to be. And the vice versa.

2023, be my excellent canvas of feel-good-no-matter-what. Clarity, sufficiency, integrity as in good life, beautiful love, genuine laughter 💗

Alfatihah.

💝

3 buceng (tumpeng) kuwat mini for today’s end of year blessing 💝
this type of buceng/tumpeng is made of sticky rice and grated coconut cooked in palm sugar; it is a buceng served in Javanese traditional ceremony for health and strength in physical, mental and spiritual — made it mini so i could enjoy it for today’s portion of breakfast, lunch and dinner 💝

About tumpeng or buceng (in Bahasa Indonesia)

clarity, sufficiency, integrity as in good life, beautiful love, genuine laughter
DC said “hey, 7! stop the call, firework is ready!” DC and I worked in the same office and stayed in the same rented house strictly for ladies, belonging to a rich Maduranese family in Greater Jakarta – the family always threw New Year celebration with some of us in the huge garden between their mansion and the rented house – we both were always excited because we never liked going out with some other ladies to celebrate it outside 🥰 oh my! it was me in the year 2002 welcoming 2003, calling my mother in new year’s eve from my Nokia 😀
waking up on Jan 1, 2003 morning in DC’s bedroom (hers was #4) that was full with stuffed animals — we probably only slept for 1 hour before she woke us up “ladies, wake up! pose before you even bath and brush your teeth, i will go develop the pictures today as new year’s gift for you all” and it is a true gift in 2023 for me 😂 thanks, DC! love from where i am 💝

The Right Pink

The rose apple is pink enough to be harvested. It’s the right time.

waiting for the flight home, once again looked at the pink Lucy and once again blessed this key ring “will definitely be suddenly Lucy Van Pelt to the snobbish and to the arrogant” 😇

About Lucy Van Pelt

Truth, What?

The truth that I learnt
Is unlearnt.

The truth that I unlearnt
Is re-learnt.

The truth is within
Unsaid, unseen, embraced.

The truth is without
Loudly said, interpreted differently.

The truth is there
To be shut down by the next truth.

The truth is here
To be embraced by accepting heart.

The truth is a spectrum of colours
Layered like no clear lining.

The truth is an ocean of probabilities
Stored like no possible turns.

is truth 😁

Smile

Smile, Beloved, smile.
It’s a luxurious gift
For you and for me.

I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.

Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. 💝

Thank you!

💝

sleepy, angry, yet stop telling me to take a nap! 😂😂😂
classroom, my party time; playground, my party time, my childhood was everyday party! 👯‍♀️
no smile, no mercy 😃
length of hair defines how I treat the world; i love my pretty silly me! 😃

Journey

Journey to the self
Takes a long and winding road,
Worth doing. Half done—

Human beings’ journey to understand one’s self is often unpredictable. I never wanted to visit Mecca and Medina yet because of my devotion to a mother, I agreed to go to ensure that she was safe and healthy. And the result was tremendous evolution of self. 💝

To Ibu: I miss you much today 😘

Alfatihah

Masjid Nabawi (Mosque of Prophet) in Medina — where I started strongly realising that there is a journey —a silent one— that I must commit 💝 someday I’ll be back with a clearer mind and a calmer heart yet the same level of “disobedience” and stubbornness 😁
where I witnessed how a human being’s karma is overtly paid off and showing the quality of a person visiting this place – my mother is a humble, kind and very very generous person and in this place she was greeted by sooo many female pilgrims from other countries, requested to take picture together, given a looooooooooot of food every day, given space once arriving in the mosque (her friends in her group were not that much) – me? oh of course she introduced me as her daughter cum translator and then was included in all her blessings 😝
the only person who could move my heart to finally go – thank you, Ibu; might not be a happy ending for me but was a best start of a journey 💝

where my heart was knocked from inside that the journey is within and silent, a precious gift — the physical is a gift wrap to respect whomever we wish 💝 (Masjidil Haram, Mecca)
a life long pilgrimage of mine 💝 a private, silent, almost secretive so only I and whom I most love know the milestones 💗 others are guessing and interpreting 🙏🏼

9 (ranting)

Why 9? It’s just 9.
When counting 9, it brings 9.
9 is 9. Be 9.

Why 9?

Back to uni days I was very keen of learning numerology, slightly superstitious to certain level but it was very entertaining and encouraging. It doesn’t give me a lot of benefits in career but a little knowledge about numerology sometimes gives me unique perspective of problem solving; or hmmm at least good distraction. Based on numerology each number has meaning and energy. Different number, different meaning, different vibe, different luck.

Among all numbers my favourite is 1, 7, 9. Very personal. Yet I like to make it look reasonable and logical. 😊

bus 179 😎

What about those numbers?

1 – One is loyalty, dedication, unity, singularity. We are loyal when we “worship” one – the God, the love. Dedication is focusing on one – one company, one citizenship, one goal. Unity is multiple agreeing on one – unity in diversity. Singularity is uniqueness of one, no comparison – feel it when we’re alone, that’s who you are. My definition as individual being rules the game.

7 – Seven is pitu in Javanese, an abbreviation of pitulungan that means help, support. No one can live alone as social beings so helping and supporting each other is the only way to survive in society. Cultural definition rules the game.

9 – September the 9th month is my birth month. I was categorised to have a character of group 9 in one numerology class. Almost dead at 9. 9 is the only number that I adore because of its logical and scientific function. 9 is my lucky number! Both empirical and logical experiences rule the game.

Dear, my favourite numbers. When will my company stock price go up back to 179 again? That is the point of my favourite numbers ranting today!

Happy weekend!

one of special Math operations of 9
all the opposite sides of a dice add up to 7 – hey! I am not a gambler
1

Now Here

Now here is a point
Where start and finish collide.
A shadow of yours—

sometimes I just want to stay put where I am now with myself as with me I am complete 💕

Desperate Lovers

Midnight is calling
With blaring sound in the aisle.
Desperate lovers—

Suddenly very loud voice of (maybe) two lovers walking down the aisle outside the hotel room laughing interrupted my sleep, and so interrupted my nightmare. Thank you and at the same time damn you!

Beloved, please send me back to slumberland again. 👀

❤️‍🩹

people say love is the answer but to me it is of too many unknown factors and elevations; too many assumptions and prejudices; why don’t people just say NO much earlier instead of vaguely communicating through codes and misleading messages – be free, desperate lovers, I am irrelevant to you
I just need a simple equation where only one unknown factor needs solution; this is my compatibility definition: simplicity, sincerity and trust; you are too good to be true; if you agree, set me free

Manusia

Manusia mengembarai langit
Manusia menyusuri cakrawala
Tidak untuk menguasainya
Melainkan untuk menguji dirinya
Apakah dia bertahan menjadi manusia,
Tidak untuk hebat kuasa atau perkasa
Melainkan untuk setia sebagai manusia.

(Emha Ainun Nadjib)

Good morning, Surabaya. You did a lot of moulding to this human being. Thank you!!! 💝

thank you 💝 for making me a human being; I won’t give up moulding this self to be loyal to being humane

Good Age

How good is friendship?
As good as age of a friend
Whose food transforms taste.

cakwe, elementary school snack served in style
onde-onde, never getting bored of it 💝
six of “avengers” but only three were available this time – when we were young, we counted the price tags; now we count the limits and portions of cholesterol, sugar, salt, red meat, blah blah blah while saying “aaah this one is good!” 😁

My Mother Said

My mother said
You were a cute baby
Even when crying.

My mother said
You were a beautiful toddler
Running around,
Bubbling all words.

My mother said
You were a cheerful girl
Cycling around
Climbing up trees
Playing drowning in the river.

My mother said
You were a beautiful woman
Arguing every ideas from me
Showing me your strong desires
Moving to where life brought us.

My mother said
You are an adult woman
Enjoying life differently from me
Giving me what you’ve promised to be
Loving what you love with no doubt
Living life with smiles and warm heart.

My mother said
I love you
I bless you
Wherever you are.
You’re loved
You’re blessed
However you are.

My mother called, we laughed a lot today. She said I laughed as I did when I was a baby. How happy I have been to be her daughter. Lots of hugs and kisses, Ibu.

Alfatihah.

💝

RC Gorman’s Mother and Baby

A Path

A path to a place
Is walked through trees and uphills.
A meadow is waiting
Opening another path
To a warm home filled with love.

My friend sent me three photos of our beloved “simbah” (those senior people who are considered wise or those who have grandchildren) – Javanese). Most people call these simbah “batik maker” because they make batik to earn a living. We both call them “batik artist”. More than that through what we’ve seen and heard about them, we’ve considered they are artists of their life. How they embrace their humble life gracefully and consciously has always amazed both of us. They live like calm river flowing to the sea. They don’t struggle against what others think about or do to them. They live as if there is no hindrance and disturbance in life.

When my friend told me some things about those three honourable ladies, I secretly harvested some lessons. It is very critical reminder for me who is still very much attached to a feeling of (accidentally) underestimated and (slightly) humiliated because of one petty case. These three artists of life have silently told me to let go.

What a loud shot in a quiet weekend!

No apology is needed. All is gradually let go through my own wish and willingness. This is my life and I only want to be the artist of my own life. 💝

Thank you, artists of life. You’re blessed. 💝

Salaam.

Mbah Suhir, 93 years old 💝 matur sembah nuwun
Mbah Erah, 87 years old 💝 matur sembah nuwun
Mbah Isah, 82 years old 💝 matur sembah nuwun