graphs of my Universe
Dear tree, wait for her.
She’s caught up but will come back
To give you big hug.
Not that you miss her hugging.
It’s she missing your stillness.
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Some friends are so loyal that they still touch your heart even without talking to you.
Thanks to a friend from a distance for her humble wisdom every now and then, for inspiring me silently….
It’s just beautiful!
If young Indonesians don’t sing those songs, let them rot in hell. 🎼 At least three of those songs, guys! No worry about your out of tune — just sing! Or hum! Ok, sing in silence! 😩
🐣
I’m a torch no more.
I’m a morning for my day
To be. Am I free?
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Just one click! Then the monitor shows something brighter and full of hopes! Vast ocean of happiness—
Why is it so blocked to be optimistic? Take a mirror, unlock just one sweet smile, look into the smiling face more deeply a little bit longer and know why…. Dear, Love. Just one click!
May all beings be happy.
Where are you, oh dear?
Mountains and oceans are passed
By with beauty glued
As memory. Beloved,
Where’s the next stop? Peek a boo!
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When I was young; I joined spiritual workshop, class, training; read spiritual books, journal, articles; listened to spiritual preaching, cassettes, radio programs; name more —mostly informal, some non-formal, one formal not finished oh I’m blessed that It wasn’t. Whenever I was asked why I did, I would say “I wanna know God.”
Hopeless popus!*
Has anyone experienced this looking-sophisticated-but-actually-comical thing? Thanks God (s/he’d like to be censored actually) I’m not alone in this zero to zigzagging journey— from being very excitedly curious to being a drunken master. 🤪
What a blessed journey it was!
If I’m supposed to tell that young me when starting through the reading of those looking-sophisticated-yet-actually-comical random materials, I would say “Hey, Lady Haha! You should have a map but a destination is paramount!”
And I still feel so blessed!
May all haha moments be deciphered. 😊
* refer to the video of “How To Dad” in “How To Teach A Kid Curse Words”.
Bruised and scarred she is;
A stained-glass window to see
Both sides of her world.
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22:22 / Sunday – June 6, 2021
I thought all of those were wounds and warts until observing carefully. I’ve been living with a beautiful stained-glass window which puts colours and gives unique perspectives when seeing inside and outside. As long as it doesn’t derail from being a human being, I think I’m blessed.
Why shouldn’t I be thankful and happy? 💞
And….
May all beings be happy.
Salam.
Happy and healthy
Two to walk, to cook good food—
About the balance
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Have ever questioned why duality is everywhere? Right left. Hot cold. Bright dark. Name it.
So much about duality in which one finds oneness as the balance after these years of living and to many years to continue living— With less and less confusion for sure
Harmony
Black in white, white in black
Polarity well comprehended
Centeredness in busy hours
Distance between zero and infinity
May all beings be happy.
Did my father teach me how to curse? 😁
This dad has made me work hard to recall what and how my father taught us to do things as kids. 🤩
He’s a Javanese and a Buddhist. It’s always a perfect combination when someone can blend one’s belief with one’s own root. A blessings!
It’s never about what religion one holds, it’s about a good heart one nurtures.
So blessed to be born as a female human being, a Javanese, raised by parents of different religions and nurtured by complex environments, living around people of different walks of life and various nationalities and so much diversity—
Never want any other way than this. Thank you, Life…. 💝
Salaam.
When chords are played,
Heart beat tunes its harmony.
Song of peace and grace—
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Bengawan Solo is always giving me home wherever it is. There is a river flowing in me.
What happiness brings?
Smiles, grins, and message of love
From long unmet friends—
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Two cute jars of Lebaran cookies and a beautiful message from my dear niece whom I haven’t met for more than one year due to this pandemic and some illness, while we live only 5 kilometers away.
What about now, Love?
Now’s the time. Maybe no later—
Happiness can’t wait.
🐣
There is moment for every experience, there is expiry date for every life.
Young people, be vibrant, idealistic and fiery.
Grab the chance to be the agent of change! Change all the dead skin! Don’t change the sacred soul!
Young generation, you’re just gorgeous! Very much thankful to be young before and still feeling the vibe until now through all what I see in you!
I never regret of getting older every day ‘coz when I was young, I was on the side of those needing the loudest voice!
May all beings be happy. 💞
Without knowing it,
You’ve made me happy. Truly
You’re the sunshine. One—
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It is almost time to sleep and I am not waiting for another sunshine because the only one sun is shining every hour around this rotating globe. That’s enough to be happy to have a 24/7 sunshine.
Let it share its light spreading hope everywhere it is faced by all opening eyes on earth. Not an empty hope— 🐣
Weekend is always a sweet space. Oops nope nope…. I mean it is sweet except with the awaiting laundry….. 😩
Tongue twisted by words;
By taste, too that kicks the sense;
A toast to the health!
———————————————————
What is meaningful?
None until you taste. Senses,
Vehicles to ride—
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Watching “Soul” the movie, I’ve been impressed by the jazz, the colours and Dorothea Williams’ young fish saying “this is water!”
Some discomfort makes you stay home and sit to get some comfort from movies.
Next!
Red fades away of Talks, drinks, not kisses. Lovely, Lively, blessed long day.
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You want to drink more after talking, you do. Drink! Water, not alcohol.🫖
You don’t want to look pale even when you’re too tired, you don’t. Put lipstick. Why did I even put lipstick when I didn’t turn on the video in the call? 🧐
Long day is as short as short when you know what you’re doing.
May all beings be happy.
Balance off? Get up! Round wheels, thousands of chances— Some laughter won’t harm.
———————————————————————
When joy overrides pain, laughter is the best medicine!
No one sees! Only ghosts are around! Laugh again! More loudly!
She walks to a place, Knowing it or not. She’s timed, Knowing it or not.
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One used to want to be a doctor then changed to be an engineer then to a flight attendant then to a journalist then to a teacher then to a writer then to be rich then to be happy and peaceful then to be a human being…. Maybe someday she will change, who knows?
Hope time and space take the side on her.
🐣
One awaited day, A line to end and to start A cycle. Nom nom nom!
This is the second Ramadhan without going out of this island. It feels serene. It is Lebaran (Ied) tomorrow. Many Muslim feel it is a happy sad time to end Ramadhan knowing that it is when they will celebrate a big day, realising that they might not meet with the next Ramadhan. For most Muslim Ramadhan is one of the most prominent and favorite months of the year with different reasons.
This person?
While it is culture that nurtures the vibe of Ramadhan in someone’s life, at the same time it is one’s personal experience that defines how meaningful and beautiful it is in one’s life.
My best Ramadhan was when I was a teenager. Ramadhan meant long holiday, browsing around from one “langgar” (small hut designated to pray together and teach how to read the Quran, usually won’t be used for Friday or ‘Ied prayer like mosques is, I never found extreme teaching in any of langgar I visited by then) to another, from one mosque to another looking for which prayer was the shortest and the most crowded with children to play with after. We would meet new friends, new games and new snacks every Ramadhan!
We also loved gathering food on the day for breakfast time when finally all the food could not be enjoyed. After fasting for 3 consecutive days, you can’t eat more than half of your normal. Your belly shrink! It didn’t stop us from gathering food though. Greedy child!
Clean if not new clothes is a recommended to wear in Ied. The clean and/or new clothes symbolise the self as spiritually newly born and pure gold after being “burnt” in the hottest month of the twelve. I loved it, I loved it, I loved it! I don’t buy clothes in Lebaran anymore, that’s not excited anymore and it has become an impulsive buying.
Ramadhan doesn’t feel that fun and full of adventures anymore to me. Aside from because of living in a place where legal restrictions will make people more citizen rather than human beings, no excitement of celebration involving cheerful crowd except scheduled and arranged by the authority; as an adult mature I “should” put more “less innocent” meaning in order to adjust with what the surroundings expect from me. How time flies but memories stay implanted in one’s remembrance.
In the opinion of this “aging me” fasting isn’t only about no eating, no drinking, no sex on the day. It is more about a structured self management: when to push the gas pedal and when to kick the brake. That’s life to me now: how effective the brake is working, not how outstanding the gas pedal is.
Anyway, Lebaran is also when Muslim should turn into butterfly after being a cocoon for one month. If they don’t, they should not look into the mirror. How could you be a cute caterpillar forever?
See how happily and how long a butterfly will live. No doubt that once one lies eggs, the next cycles will repeat soon. I myself am ready to eat big on the Lebaran’s day; a caterpillar mode on. Let’s cook tonight then eat tomorrow!
Under the green leaf, Crawls then sleeps. Wake up with love. Fly, Butterfly, fly.
Metamorphosis of egg to caterpillar to cocoon before butterfly is beautiful and relevant with the cycles of human being’s life in all aspect.
How someone finds a potential and amplifies the potential with any resources that one can think of such as schooling, taking courses/training/workshop, reading, listening, watching, contemplating, consultancy…. Oh some others who don’t have clear thinking include their actions of cheating, stealing, breaking the law, stepping the integrity lines, backstabbing, etc.
It is like witnessing the eggs sheltered by some shade of plants and with the weather and pressure, they are pushed to crawl out of the shells. Here it comes one hungry caterpillar, playing happily, eating this, eating that, eating these, eating those, eating everything. This caterpillar can only stop eating when one feels numb and one’s fullness melts away and wraps itself to sleep. The things one consumed liquifies it like ice thawed in a plastic bag.
Sleep soundly, hungry caterpillar and don’t wake up until someday your fluid self come into form, embodied into a totally different creature. The butterfly you are!
There was a time when an employee is so preoccupied with what one is doing, as if one is wrapped in a system that trapped one doing the same thing like no choice is given. One does it everyday until finally not having to think of how to do it already. One might feel the job is ingrained as a thought, a feeling, an intuition, movement, the life itself. Trained skills and talents make an art, the integrity shapes wisdom. A job—when has become a dedication— will not betray a human being.
Hope someday mine becomes one. It is never about how high I climb but about how deep I dive into the commitment of making what I’m doing a wisdom and benefits for those we promise to protect and support.
I think it is ok to be one hungry caterpillar, looking greedy and craving for more knowledge, experiences, adventures. As long as it knows where poison lies, it is safe to chew and swallow anything. No no not anything…. Select wisely, Beloved.
I remember Steve Jobs said “Stay foolish, stay hungry”. That person really knew what he was doing. Many people might have thought negatively about him, laughed at what he was doing, called him crazy, kicked him out for having different ideas, backstabbed him to stop his annoyance. Those people just didn’t know that that guy was a hungry caterpillar processing into a cocoon before butterfly. Amazing human being! God bless time when he was alive and forever.
Hmm…. Perhaps he truthfully made himself hungry by fasting and foolish by learning and unlearning.
God bless you, Steve Jobs and the people around his belief about staying foolish and hungry.
Salam….
Sura dira jayaningrat, lebur dening pangastuti
This sentence is two lines of a verse written by a Javanese mystical poet Ranggawarsita, which is sung through Kinanthi—a Javanese rhymed-metered composition characteristically bringing in happiness, joy, compassion; giving advice and providing role models.
Word by word meaning
Many Javanese understand it in a context of “the evil power will be overpowered by good one”.
Not incorrect. Yet I humbly prefer a different shade of interpretation that is more suitable to my journey: “a dominating forceful masculine energy balanced and dissolved by loving surrendering feminine energy will proportionally develop personal empowerment”.
The interpretation can be a reminder for this careless persona to be centered now and then.
To be centered isn’t always to be seated on victory of getting all what’s wanted, not about proving true-false, not claiming who is in control (direct or indirect), not about whose perception-projection is right.
To be centered is about: knowing that what’s dominating should be dissolved and neutralised, that willingly letting go is equivalent to gracefully taking the blame of making own mistakes, realising that one’s self is dreaming sweet about someone but becoming a nightmare for that someone, about closing one’s own loop where one goes around the bush, getting clarity that all is one-on-one one-to-one one-for-one one-from-one one-at-one one-off-one never about any others.
Passing another field of confusion and guilt is such a gift for this person. No victory is needed, this is not a scored game. Travel lighter, my own Self.
May all beings be happy.
💞
Useful link of loro blonyo:
