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Dear My Beloved – prayer

My Beloved,
please spare me love that heals each other,
that nurtures each other,
that liberates each other,
that expands each other,
that respects each other,
that supports each other,
that is truthful and faithful to each other,
that is true and sweet to each other.

My Beloved, and so be it.


 

Prayer in a Deepavali long weekend in Singapore – 2019

rumi-o-beloved-where-is-the-beloved-quote-on-storemypic-143df

Thank you for the picture, O Beloved

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Rejection vs Ignorance – chatting

A cute conversation in a weekend happened when two besties missed each other. The convo went well until a topic came up.

Friend 1: What is worse than being rejected?

Friend 2: What is worse than being rejected?

Friend 1: Being ignored.

Friend 2: Are you teasing me? I’ve known it from the beginning.

Friend 1: Why did you let yourself be ignored then? You’re doomed. What a stupid move.

Friend 2: I didn’t prepare ignorance, I prepared rejection. But I learnt my lesson.

Friend 1: Lesson? What subject? (might be saying while smirking)

Friend 2: Distance-speed-time formula (whatever one wanted to say)

Friend 1: Hmm…. Seems that you already master it now.

Friend 2: Pretty much.

Friend 1: So?

Friend 2: So what?!

Friend 1: Oops. Sorry. You learnt your lesson, I know. Don’t trust that type of subject. Don’t be naive ever again !@#$%^&*()_+!

Friend 2: !@#$%^&*()_+!

Then both laughed together. That’s what friends are for – tasting each other’s bitterness, ridiculing each other’s foolishness and throwing worst wisdom to each other’s nose.

Through the FaceTime audio

FaceTime_Audio_Call.jpg

Thank you for the picture to: https://www.macworld.co.uk/how-to/iphone/how-facetime-iphone-3583186/ 

Cornucopia – haiku

Cornucopia,
The abundance prepares for
The masked-off: new self.

Singapore – October 16, 2019 / 21:39


2019 has opened an extraordinary road of becoming the whole me. Many major lessons are learnt here.

Previous me always thought that things were between good and bad, right and wrong, happy and sad, strong and weak, one extreme and the other extreme, BLACK & WHITE. It was too much and I hold it no more.

What’s coming is lots of love in myself to myself and the abundance to share — not solely about gold and coins.

cornucopia-fruits-veggies-1200x690

Abundance is about colors that make life vibrant howsoever my potential has been tampered.

Abundance is about clarity that creates enough space for myself (and so others) to contemplate whether the situation is uplifting or not– the keyword is uplifting, not favorable or superior. If not uplifting, either has the right to walk away from the situation with respect. Without respect, the situation has failed to be a station to heal, to nurture, to expand and to liberate each other.

Abundance means enjoying life while sharing it with others. Sense of abundance can only be manifested with sharing. You share what you spare.

Abundance means living the life to the fullest. Only with the awareness of abundance human being can grab the reality of abundance. If you feel empty, you won’t care to share.

Cornucopia
A hollow horn of lots of everything that will rot if the holder keeps it with herself.
So dear, Self. Don’t let anything get rotten through this journey. Love yourself and share the good things wholeheartedly.

My Beloved, I’m grateful for the abundance and the least my feeling of abundance.
I can’t be more grateful to You for sparing me this 2019.

I am feeling loved.

Useful link 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornucopia 

Useful link 2 & source pictures: https://www.psychics.com/blog/words-mythology-pt-v-cornucopia/

cornucopia-with-greek-god

One of My Days Was Doomed By Zodiac Reading (ranting)

Have you ever listened to zodiac reading in Youtube?

I did.
Some time ago my friend and I came across to an idea to see if the readings of our zodiacs (Virgo and Cancer) were accurate against the actual situations. Moreover, she was curious if her love life was on the right path.

“I think your zodiac won’t agree with that Aries guy!” I said that knowing that the Aries guy was too good to be true – someone that you know…. handsome, successful, rich, loved by many (daydreaming) ladies (but in my perspective –so sorry to say– that that kind of man can be the most manipulative).

“Don’t frustrate your friend.” She snapped me sharply. Ahem!

We searched the topic using smart key words and chose zodiac readers with more than 100,000 subscribers. We assumed that the more subscribers someone has, the more trust that reader gets from his/her viewers.

We found many readers in Youtube. They have wide range of styles, accuracies, clarity, excitement and approach. Some are very detailed – imagine someone is reading your zodiac for more than one hour without pay! (I mean paid they get paid through AdSense, not you). Some are very stingy – only 6 minutes and called it “general reading”. Some are very sexy look and busier showing their sex appeal than reading integrity; some are sloppy, like just getting up from the bed and dragged by the reading schedules. Some are very brilliant speakers – this is a bit dangerous because they can just flip the fact to sound sweeter to you; some are blunt or use too many fillers in their speech like “uummm”, “errr”, “like”, etc. Some are very knowledgeable, while some are not more than making your ass hotter and want to hit the antagonist in the reading. Some are young, some are old. Most of them are female — this is not discrimination but yes, the male readers sound like female to me except the one in a cowboy style named Ramblin Mike.

No, no. I am not talking about the readers. I want to talk about the reading, that unluckily was very rarely on both of our sides. We felt that we were doomed because of having “wrong” zodiacs.

  • One reader said that my friend was offered a love by a Virgo. Friend: It should be by an Aries. (-)
  • One reader said my friend would give good response to a Sagittarius. Friend: She was so excited. Me: But hey, he is not a Sag. He is an Aries! (-)
  • One reader said that I was unfaithful. Me: Goddamn! She said Virgo is unfaithful?! I never cheat anyone in my relationship! I’d been cheated! (-)
  • Some readers said that my friend was getting a very good job promotion; while actually she was in a tension with her boss. Friend: Nonsense! (-)
  • One reader said that I was going to get a very good appreciation from the company. Me: Resonated! Thanks God! (reality: I hadn’t even had a performance review yet.) (+)
  • Some readers said that time was fluid and so the reading points could happen in the past, present and future…. Us: Ummm (?)
  • One reader (my favorite, maybe because he is a Virgo and always takes a side of Virgo) made us rock on laughter “Oh God, he is even deceitful in his fantasy”. Me: So cute! (+)
  • Some readers said that they heard words coming to them as divine message. Us: Really? Teach us how. (+)
  • One reader said that she heard the word “Disney” intuitively and she said that my love story would be like Disney’s love story. Me: Rubbish!, Friend: Don’t say rubbish, just pray. Me (again): Rubbish! (-)
  • One reader said that my friend’s love would come by end of this year. Friend: Yay! (+)
  • Another reader said that my friend’s love would come later, maybe mid of next year. Me: Hahaha (-) Friend: What?! (-)
  • Some readers said at the beginning of the reading that the card energy was so good, then when opening other cards they would say that the card’s energy shifted so fast and said that it was so negative. Us: Inconsistent! (-)

We cursed most of the time because many things didn’t reflect our situations.

And, what finally broke our laughter was when one reader said “…. Oh, your person really loves you and this person is willing to die for you blahblahblah…. But if you don’t have the same situation, this person might deal with one more Virgo and you are the antagonist one.”

Both of us: “Change reader! Hahaha….!”

Please don’t get me wrong. I respect all those readers. They have trained themselves to read either using tarot cards, oracle cards, intuition, rune, etc. I am sure some of them took advanced courses and some of them have been truly gifted spiritually. Some of them claimed that they have read for more than 20 years, with credentials that I didn’t even imagine before I found this thing in Youtube. My point is that general reading can be misleading and no one should take it for granted.

If you really want to be read through, find a trusted reader and do personal/private reading where the reader can access your energy specifically and directly. And he or she shall be good, intuitive, trustworthy and reliable reader. Clear and authentic. Genuine and sincere. High integrity and mature 

Life sometimes can feel so good when the zodiac reading is positive; even if it is not true. Damn right! :-))

Ah…. I might take a course to be an excellent reader someday so that I can read good things for everyone and make them happy…. 🙂

Singapore – October 12, 2019 / 12:25am

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I’m grateful for the picture to: https://blog.hellofresh.com/the-zodiac-signs-spring-veggies/

What’s In A Cask – haiku

What’s in the cask, Bruh?
Wine or tea? — I never know
Until the party starts.

Beware of a mind-twisting haiku!

This haiku contains a conversation between two fools who wanted to know what was inside a cask. Both were waiting for a party to start and hoped to enjoy the content of the cask. When would the party come? No idea, oye Fools…. 🙂

Life is like a party that never comes on time when a fool is only waiting for someone to open the cask. To enjoy the content of the cask, those fools should have openned it and spilled whatever inside it. Whether it is aged tea or old wine. A fool should be a fool, acting like a fool.

Don’t wait for the party to come. A real fool should get drunk just by an idea of what’s inside a cask….

Life is a comedy, where working is as addictive as drinking intoxicating substances.

Drink, Master! Drink!

Temasek – August 12, 2019 / 10:34am

 

Picture borrowed from: https://sobercollege.com/addiction-blog/workaholics/

Work-Addiction1

Masquerade – ranting

Life is about masquerading.
How well she acts under a mask determines what the crowds will give her.
Whether she is crying under a smiling mask, it doesn’t matter. What matters is her body languages correspond with the smiles in the mask.

Her cry in the heart will not resonate whatever frequency is spread through the air ‘coz the crowds don’t read the heart. They see the mask and they are wearing masks, too.

Dear, Mask.
How are you?
Are you happy there?
Or, do you need some touch-up of colors?
Let me do it.
I can put mascara, blush-on, eye-shadow, eyelashes or more colors on your lips.
Your smiles shall not fade away.
Otherwise, the crowds will be disappointed and go away.

Dear, Mask.
Do you know how I am?
I am crying for how long you are suffering to look good all the time.
Sobbing when you have to laugh out loud celebrating how grand the victory is.
Weeping to see the mask running low with sweat, tired of grinning at how splendid love looks.
You seem so young but I know you are weathered.
Don’t you want to take a break?

……

But hold on, Mask.
Hold on a second.
Let me think it over.
Let me reckon what I just said to you.
No, no, no.
Do you need to listen to what I said?
Yes, you should.
But should you change?
No!
It is a big no-no.

I am happy that I am here for you.
I am what I am as you are what you are.
I am your shadow, where you can hide for a while.
I am your sanctuary, where you can take shelter.
I am your bin, where you want to dump all your hazardous wastes of make-up.
I am your Lover.
I can be your Beloved, too.

Dear, Mask.
Be a good mask.
Play the best acting as you can.
If life is a joke, let yourself be the greatest Joker.
When life orders pretension, be the greatest Pretender.
You take the best Role in this Life,
With me beyond your Play.

evening-of-hope-feature

Dear, Mask.
Just don’t forget that….
There is the Playwright.
Never ever take action without His bloody instruction.

Dear, Mask….
“Camera! Action!”

Singapore – August 11, 2019 / 10:45pm

Picture borrowed from https://myvancity.ca/2016/01/14/evening-of-hope-gala/

Weeping Ney – free verse

Ney….
Your song pulled me down in to the depth of abyss
Gliding with no weight,
Free falling –

Ney….
Your tone touched me on the hollow emptiness
Craving for sensations,
Crashing on nothingness.

Ney….
Your call dragged me along the path that I know well, yet
I am lonely and blind,
Waiting for a map.

Ney….
Do you know I’ve been here all my life,
My breath,
My step,
My tear,
My despair,
All of mine.

Ney….
You are the breeze that sweeps my draught
Then soars;
The dewdrop that breaks my morning
Then wakes up;
The spark that lights up my flame
Then burns.
The dirt that buries my hope
Then grows.

Ney….
It is you
That swirls like earth spiraled upwards by tornado,
And travels afar before it hits the door of heaven.

Ney….
I am taking your hands.
Your weeping cries will always accompany my journey
To you, Ney.

Phnom Pehn – August 2, 2019 – 22:45

Experience Sharing – ranting

I’ve lived in this tiny country for more than six years and experience is the one making me the richest. I’m sharing you one most frequent.

I’m physically very ordinary, almost ugly, dark, chubby, short, not fashion conscious. And all in all I am poor or look poor – my source of income is only my monthly salary and some bonus from the company, other than that nothing. So, people can expect unexpected from an “I am” and will think that they can’t use me in a way but suddenly they would get crazily lured to use me up to the driest point when they know who I am — who am I? Nobody.

Ok. Time to rant —

One experience today,

I went to Funan Mall in City Hall area to buy rear light for my bike missing after my minor accident to the office and a tote back to be installed in my dear bike. As normal as a customer ever I greeted the shopkeeper and asked politely if I can get a spare of rear light.

Shopkeeper: What type is your bike?

Although confused with his question I answered “the one with M handle bar”.

Shopkeeper: This is a rear light. You know it or not?

I nodded and said yes.

Shopkeeper: Hey, you know the price or not?

I got a bit heated up because of his constantly high tone since I greeted him, so I politely challenged him: Why are you asking me about the price? I thought it is $45. Is it still the same?

Shopkeeper: So why did you tell me about the handle bar?! And you know the price is $45!

Hmm…. Rude guy! I was guessing he was testing me if I really intended to buy or just walked around the new store.

“Sir, you asked me about what type of bike I have then asked me about how much is the rear light of my bike. Now you are shouting at me as if I hurt your pride?” said I politely.

Shopkeeper: Sure you can buy or not?

I went away with poker face without looking at him then approached the other guy who was younger and nicer.

…. Another experience some months ago

I met a specialist in one of the best hospitals in the city and spent quite a lot to treat my disease. I shared with someone – let’s call her a friend.

Friend: Why didn’t you go to government hospital, it gives you cheaper package with the same quality of service. In this country medical services are quite standardised, only thing if you go to private ones you spend much more. Poor people deserves poor service!

I couldn’t say anything but smiled. I didn’t explain to her that I’m not a citizen or permanent resident that will get such privilege including the medical services. As a human being – knowing whether I am poor or rich – she shouldn’t have said the last sentence to anyone. Anyone, even if really poor

This Friend is still around me. I’m still good to her. And just FYI, it was not her first sharp words that were thrown to my face. I always tell myself that she is just being her, not more not less.

…. Another experience some years ago

I entered the office lobby. Today I would meet my interviewers for the final job interview. I was nervous, happy, worried and excited at the same time. Holding my Blackberry with both hands, I headed to the receptionist.

“Good morning, Ma’am.”

“You want meet who?” Oh my…. The Singlish was a striking welcome to me. 😃

“I’d like to meet with Ms X and Mr Y for job interview.”

“You Rike Jo ha?”

“Yes, I’m Rike Jo, Ma’am.”

“Sit first la. I’ll call them. You can’t use Blackberry, only iPhone here ya. Can not connect internet for browsing la.”

Oh my goodness. What a joke! I’m here to get a job, not to connect to internet.

“Hey, you from where? Indon?”

“Indonesia, Ma’am.”

“Ok Indon ya.”

“Indonesia, Ma’am.”

“Ok ok ok. Sit there, wait for 10 minutes they’ll come.”

Oh my god. And later I found that that receptionist was in-house subcontractor – the worst ever of liking to boss around and boast around talking about the company employees whom she didn’t really like so much. And more importantly, we are not prohibited to use any brands of gadgets in the office – but why bother using other brands if your own brand is the best on earth?! 😊

I still have my other stupendous and enriching experiences but it is too much for me to tell random samples of people from various factors who have judged people by their sole blurry eyes. Let it be, let it be.

Those people have judged me with their shallow mind, unfair position, misleading intention, partial data, insufficient information and the most of it with their pompous arrogance of being superior than someone coming from their backyard.

I am normally just feeling upset then immediately back to normal but today I was so fed up with those people. I pray that they know their points of view are not enough to evaluate others. They need distance, method and clarity to view then evaluate others. They should think before they say. They should listen to understand and not to reply. They should see before they leap…. Or else someday they will fall down and break down.

I will stay here for at least the next 5 years before I’m back to a human being without formal profession. By then I will have been a mature lady who knows that the world is spinning because some good guy accept others’ stupidity as learning curve, weigh others’ unfairness as a self reminder to be always stable, embrace one’s own anguish as the warmth among the cold ignorance of the modern people, and arrange all those into a beautiful arrangement of balancing points.

I still have many good friends here that make my life so beautiful and peaceful. And I will just be their good one, too.

Life is so colourful. I’ll enjoy it, with some ranting on at times….

Salam….

Khatib, July 26, 2019 – 21:03

The Shoes Are Waiting – ranting

Putting your feet in someone’s shoes isn’t as simple as putting a book at a shelf after reading it. Putting your feet in others’ shoes involve complication of thoughts and risks.

What if the size isn’t yours?

What if the smell isn’t into your tolerance?

What if the design doesn’t fit your feet type?

Is it safe? What if there are creepy crawly in the old shoes?

Is it healthy? What if the owner has skin problem?

And what if the owner doesn’t even let you put your feet there?

Stop!

What if you just have to be willing or not to put your feet in someone else’s shoes?

Period.

On GA822 before flying to my second home — Singapore

July 16, 2019 – 20:30

New Year’s Resolution – serious ranting

My home is near the MRT railway, every five minutes two 6-car trains will go to both directions. And, today they do their routine of life. But there is something different, like they know it is almost 2019 and want to celebrate the year exchange.

The trains sound more merrier.

And the vehicles in the crossroad just down floors below run like no energy is lacking or no drowsiness greets the drivers.

Around where I live there are a lot of trees that I hope won’t be cut down for long years to come. I love them as they are the ones making my breath lighter and healthier. And tonight I feel they send out purer air to me.

And there is a reservoir that is cleaned daily by the boatmen on the blue boats. It still looks dark at night but the water reflection is clearer and more magnificent.

All do more magic tonight…. Because it is new year tomorrow. And I am infected by their spirit of best performance of now here and so I want to be in the harmony with Nature now here and next year.

I might not be able to get a mentor that I expected but I will make myself the best mentor for myself to be more professional – clarity on what I do, purity on what I intend. I might not be the best of all but I will make myself the best version of me – committed and true. I might not get everything I wish but I will make myself to get what’s the best I deserve.

Tonight I welcome 2019 at home looking at my plants in the small balcony, going back and forth the fridge to get cool water – I don’t drink beer fyi, seeing all the passers by, enjoying the dogs’ smell from the one living under my balcony. The air, water, cloud, unseen sky, shy rain, greenery in the black black new year’s eve, all people celebrating far away with the fireworks, all the animals with shelters or without, all the blessed life under the sun, and all

To you I wish a….

…. Happy New Year 2019! The best is welcoming you.

I know next year is mine, too.

Temasek – December 31, 2019 – 11:18pm

 

IMG_3670

New Year…. Again? – ranting

December 31, 2018
Last day of 2018
It is another new year tomorrow.
I haven’t even made my resolution.
What resolution? Still need it?
I thought most of my resolution was failure and bursting bubbles,
So better leave 2019 without specific wishes.

Just wanna be a better version of me.
That’s it.

Oh, Life.
You’ve run so fast, dragging me to nowhere but here now.

Happy New Year, everyone.
Live your life to the fullest!

  • expecting longer rant tonight 🙂

Temasek – December 31, 2018 – 7:38pm

 

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Secret – ranting

And from now on I will have to keep it secret.

Sometimes you don’t have to tell anyone what you think.
And I decided not to tell people what I think about a person if not about important things.

Sometimes you don’t have to share how you feel to anyone.
And I decided to not share anything if not important things.

But what is not important about your life?
Everything is important.
So, wanna expose everything?
Hmm….
Ok, yet priority makes it simple.

Yeah, I decided to filter what to be told and shared.
Gosh!
What an unimportant ranting mine is!

Happy holidays!

Singapore – December 23, 2018 – 12:19am

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Caged Bird – free verse

My father had a black starling.
It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood.
We hoped it could talk.

Our family moved
To a much smaller home.
Our starling got neglected
How much I can feel the guilty is like a teary moment to a bloody heart!

The black starling got a home
Bigger:
My mother’s relative.

It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood, half we gave to it.
We hoped it could talk.

If you are dead, dear Black Starling,
Be in a peaceful moment.
Fly with your beautiful wings, black and shiny!
Feed your life with all the fresh memories.
Forget all the cages and bars.
Be the air
Be the vapour
Be the atmosphere
Be our silent guidance to the freedom out of this cage.

Thank you for your will to be our prisoner
Thank you for your sincerity to be our exhibition
Thank you for your sacrifice to feed our ego
Thank you for your life to complete our purity.

See you across the bridge.
You’ve met him, right?
Tell him you forgive us.

Yours truly,

Me

Shanghai – Dec. 15, 2018 – 12:05 noon is here

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Pause

It’s been quite long I haven’t posted anything in this site. Too busy? Or not able to manage the time? Oh my goodness, how life lasts long yet runs so fast that it rolls in like a useless scroll.

Alas!
What will I give to Life?
Nothing?
Ya, nothing as I have nothing.
Yet, I still do things with my nothing.

Life,
Please guide me through my nothingness to the Light at the end of the scroll.

No, not at the end. It is along the scroll…

Glad to be here again….

The Estuary, Temasek – Nov. 30, 2018 – 9:47pm

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Tersandung Cahaya – pengingat (Indonesian)

Tak akan lepas dari ingatanku kutipan dari seorang guru: Sesama murid dilarang memberikan rapot. Artinya, tidak perlu menilai orang-lain dalam perjalanan ini. Masing-masing memanggul salipnya sendiri, setiap diri menangisi lukanya, beban dan segala derita yang didukungnya sendiri. Tak elok menganggap bebanmu lebih berat dan hebat daripada yang lain — menangis dalam diam menelan tapi tertawa saat ada yang mengajak melihat lebih tajam meminjam mata sesama.

Pun, ketika kau melihat diri sebagai pembawa cahaya.
Lalu kau menilai siapa yang membawa cahaya dan siapa yang membawa kegelapan, kau puja pembawa cahaya (versimu) dan kau sentil pembawa kegelapan (versimu). Aduhai, lalu kau menjadi pengamat gelap-terang. Seakan kau paling gape tentang gelap dan terang-Nya.

Kepahitanmu sendiri tak kau tilik, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus menutup diri supaya tak mengendusnya.
Kebijaksanaanmu bagai puncak ilmu, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus memicingkan mata memahami kebenarannya.
Kehalus-budianmu bagai elusan malaikat, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu bagai tercucuk duri-duri tajam sakit linu ngilu hingga di dasar jiwa.
Kebahagiaanmu bagai warna pelangi, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu ketakutan kehilangan warna karena tak mampu mengekspresikan diri secara merdeka.

Tapi kupaham, ini hanya spectrum cahaya.
Biar dipandang sebagai spectrum gelap-Nya. Tiada mengapa….
Aku tinggal di sini, di gelap-Nya supaya dapat menonton yang sedang dikucuri kemenangan akan kesadaran cahaya. Aku ada di kesadaran spectrum lainnya dan aku bahagia. Tiada mengapa….
Kubahagia untuk kalian….

Bagaimana jika nanti kau terkurung gelap?
Bagaimana jika tersandung cahaya?
…. Jika ternyata kau terserimpet cahayamu sendiri?

Mengapa tak pernah kau panggil aku ke rengkuhanmu sebelum kau caci?
…. tak kau sapa aku sebelum kau hakimi?
…. tak kau tanyai sebelum kau namai?
Cahayamu mulai nyerimpet dari awal perjalanan kita.
Terlalu silau lalu menyilapkan.
Terlalu dekat hingga menghanguskan.

Tidak ada sesal di rasaku.
Tidak ada maaf akan kukirimkan,
Sebelum kau dapatkan cerlang dari gelapku.

Biar kubahagiai cahayamu.
Sampai kau temukan spectrum yang bening untuk menengok dirimu sendiri, rasamu sendiri.

Runtuh satu pilarmu.
Kurengkuh diriku sendiri, kupersembahkan pada Kanjeng Nabi. Dalam sunyi.

Lagi, kuingat kata guruku “dilarang memberi rapot pada sesama murid” dan akan kulakukan selama aku dalam spectrum cahaya-Nya.

Duh Gusti, mugi paringo ing margi kaleresan
Kados margining menungso kang manggih kanikmatan
Sanes margining menungso kang paduko la’nati

Shollu ‘alaa Sayyidinaa Muhammad….

Temasek – 13 Mei 2018 – 02:07 pagi

Spectrum.2400.1800.S.G

Picture borrowed from Wikipedia.org/wiki/Datei:Spectrum.2400.1800.S.G.png

 

How – ranting

I’m almost 50?
Gosh! Am I that near to what is called half a century? it gives me goosebump!
What have I done?
To my beloved parents?
To my beloved sisters?
To my beloved brothers?
To my friends?
To my country?
To humanity?
To….

To myself?

Last month I visited a good friend and found more things about her. She has done so much in her life.
She helped me and her colleagues grow professionally.
She did many things to help people in her industry.
She did so much to her mother especially when her mother was in the deathbed.
She travels to see many places.
She plays piano.
She plays violin.
She plays golf.
She hangs out with friends.
She read spiritual books.
She always comes up with solutions of problems around her.
She dedicates her life to humanity.
She does many many things that I can even only imagine I can do with my mini courage.

Once I told her “My Friend, I think you will not regret your life when you die.”

And she said “You’re right, Rike. I won’t regret my life when I die. I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.”

She said to me, “Be happy. Do something that you have wanted to do but you haven’t. Hey, what about taking music classes?”

Going out from her apartment, I could not stop thinking of what I should do to make my life meaningful for myself and for those I love that I leave when I die.

Life is short and I’ve gotta do something.

Thanks, my Friend for being an inspiration to me.

I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.

Singapore – April 29, 2018 – 02:39

The picture below is of Fifi (the black and white) and Chocho (the ginger), kittens in my Mom’s home. Chocho died of suffering for his back on April 23, 2018 at around 11:15am Jakarta time. Thank you, Chocho for telling me over and over again that you lived happily and died happy. Thank you, my dear kitten. See you across the rainbow bridge….

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Faces – haiku

Facets and faces
On diamonds and humans are
Overt covert beauty —

===

Can you see the real things behind the things? You might be able or not but the thing is there you know it or not. Existence is not about the humans’ ability to see through, existence is about that it is there and that’s it. You’ve gotta to reach the fact that you believe what’s true is true, what exists exists without judging what’s true and what exists. My homework for myself.

Temasek – April 28, 2018 – 14:04

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