Tersandung Cahaya – pengingat (Indonesian)

Tak akan lepas dari ingatanku kutipan dari seorang guru: Sesama murid dilarang memberikan rapot. Artinya, tidak perlu menilai orang-lain dalam perjalanan ini. Masing-masing memanggul salipnya sendiri, setiap diri menangisi lukanya, beban dan segala derita yang didukungnya sendiri. Tak elok menganggap bebanmu lebih berat dan hebat daripada yang lain — menangis dalam diam menelan tapi tertawa saat ada yang mengajak melihat lebih tajam meminjam mata sesama.

Pun, ketika kau melihat diri sebagai pembawa cahaya.
Lalu kau menilai siapa yang membawa cahaya dan siapa yang membawa kegelapan, kau puja pembawa cahaya (versimu) dan kau sentil pembawa kegelapan (versimu). Aduhai, lalu kau menjadi pengamat gelap-terang. Seakan kau paling gape tentang gelap dan terang-Nya.

Kepahitanmu sendiri tak kau tilik, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus menutup diri supaya tak mengendusnya.
Kebijaksanaanmu bagai puncak ilmu, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus memicingkan mata memahami kebenarannya.
Kehalus-budianmu bagai elusan malaikat, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu bagai tercucuk duri-duri tajam sakit linu ngilu hingga di dasar jiwa.
Kebahagiaanmu bagai warna pelangi, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu ketakutan kehilangan warna karena tak mampu mengekspresikan diri secara merdeka.

Tapi kupaham, ini hanya spectrum cahaya.
Biar dipandang sebagai spectrum gelap-Nya. Tiada mengapa….
Aku tinggal di sini, di gelap-Nya supaya dapat menonton yang sedang dikucuri kemenangan akan kesadaran cahaya. Aku ada di kesadaran spectrum lainnya dan aku bahagia. Tiada mengapa….
Kubahagia untuk kalian….

Bagaimana jika nanti kau terkurung gelap?
Bagaimana jika tersandung cahaya?
…. Jika ternyata kau terserimpet cahayamu sendiri?

Mengapa tak pernah kau panggil aku ke rengkuhanmu sebelum kau caci?
…. tak kau sapa aku sebelum kau hakimi?
…. tak kau tanyai sebelum kau namai?
Cahayamu mulai nyerimpet dari awal perjalanan kita.
Terlalu silau lalu menyilapkan.
Terlalu dekat hingga menghanguskan.

Tidak ada sesal di rasaku.
Tidak ada maaf akan kukirimkan,
Sebelum kau dapatkan cerlang dari gelapku.

Biar kubahagiai cahayamu.
Sampai kau temukan spectrum yang bening untuk menengok dirimu sendiri, rasamu sendiri.

Runtuh satu pilarmu.
Kurengkuh diriku sendiri, kupersembahkan pada Kanjeng Nabi. Dalam sunyi.

Lagi, kuingat kata guruku “dilarang memberi rapot pada sesama murid” dan akan kulakukan selama aku dalam spectrum cahaya-Nya.

Duh Gusti, mugi paringo ing margi kaleresan
Kados margining menungso kang manggih kanikmatan
Sanes margining menungso kang paduko la’nati

Shollu ‘alaa Sayyidinaa Muhammad….

Temasek – 13 Mei 2018 – 02:07 pagi

Spectrum.2400.1800.S.G

Picture borrowed from Wikipedia.org/wiki/Datei:Spectrum.2400.1800.S.G.png

 

How – ranting

I’m almost 50?
Gosh! Am I that near to what is called half a century? it gives me goosebump!
What have I done?
To my beloved parents?
To my beloved sisters?
To my beloved brothers?
To my friends?
To my country?
To humanity?
To….

To myself?

Last month I visited a good friend and found more things about her. She has done so much in her life.
She helped me and her colleagues gro professionally.
She did many things to help people in her industry.
She did so much to her mother especially when her mother was in the deathbed.
She travels to see many places.
She plays piano.
She plays violin.
She plays golf.
She hangs out with friends.
She reads spiritual books.
She always comes up with solutions of problems around her.
She dedicates her life to humanity.
She does many many things that I can even only imagine I can do with my mini courage.

Once I told her “My Friend, I think you will not regret your life when you die.”

And she said “You’re right, Rike. I won’t regret my life when I die. I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.”

She said to me, “Be happy. Do something that you have wanted to do but you haven’t. Hey, what about taking music classes?”

Going out from her apartment, I could not stop thinking of what I should do to make my life meaningful for myself and for those I love that I leave when I die.

Life is short and I’ve gotta do something.

Thanks, my Friend for being and inspiration to me.

I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.

Singapore – April 29, 2018 – 02:39

The picture below is of Fifi (the black and white) and Chocho (the ginger), kittens in my Mom’s home. Chocho died of suffering for his back on April 23, 2018 at around 11:15am Jakarta time. Thank you, Chocho for telling me over and over again that you lived happily and died happy. Thank you, my dear kitten. See you across the rainbow bridge….

img_3504

Faces – haiku

Facets and faces
On diamonds and humans are
Overt covert beauty —

===

Can you see the real things behind the things? You might be able or not but the thing is there you know it or not. Existence is not about the humans’ ability to see through, existence is about that it is there and that’s it. You’ve gotta to reach the fact that you believe what’s true is true, what exists exists without judging what’s true and what exists. My homework for myself.

Temasek – April 28, 2018 – 14:04

Reflection – ranting

Just yesterday I told myself to stop ranting, today I am using the same word “ranting” for my posting title.

Please just consider it a sign that I’ll write longer than haiku, my favorite type of poem.

Ok, so….
I stand in front of mirror everyday, at least twice a day.
And I see the same person, me–
But with different expressions. Sometimes I look ok, sometimes not. Sometimes I look fresher, sometimes dull and duller. Sometimes I look beautiful, sometimes ugly and uglier. But most of all I feel that I can look better than current condition.

Is that normal? Let’s say yes.

The only thing that is not normal is…. How can I say to myself again and again that I can look better than this but then the next day I can feel that I look worse?
Is it because I don’t commit to look better?
Or is it my mind hijacking me?

Whatever.

Let’s do this again: stand in front of the mirror, say to myself “Hey, You. You are you yourself. If you realize that it is yourself, don’t compare yourself to others cause whomever they are you compare yourself with won’t ever reach your level and nor will you to theirs. You have your own pedestal to be you. And they have theirs to be them. Stop feeling more or less. It is you, the best you however you are.”

And, now I’m standing in front of my real reflection.

Does it guarantee I’m a good person?

No…. It is just a ranting old lady. 🙂

Kaohsiung – April 12, 2018 – 19:12

Below is a picture of mine with a giant durian — you’ve gotta see if I am more interesting than the durian hahaha….

patung duren di malaysia

Just cluttering – ranting

Sitting in my tiny bedroom, I felt ache in my chest and said to myself, “Damn! How can I have so many things in my little nest? What am I going to build of those rubbish?”

Books, bottles, containers, clothes and other things were scatterred everywhere, on the floor, on the table, at the shelf, on my bed. Once again, what would I make with all of these? Nothing but an old lady hoarding bric-a-brac.

Please stop myself. Please….

“When I’m going to read my book, I’m confused which book I should read first as all the titles show me all the urgencies in life. When I’m going to write on my diary, I forgot which one is the most recent one as there are at least six different books and sketchbooks that I’ve used so far. When I’m going to iron my clothes, I’m confused which one should I work on first as the piling rags are covering my rooms. Oh my gosh!”

I stopped for a while and looked at my hands.
Only two hands….
What have they done in my life? My two hands have done so much but not so much, — too much unnecessary stuff.

….

Take a deep breath.

….

I have been clutterring and need decluttering.

….

Start with one simple thing. My mind.

…. Declutter my mind.
…. Throw away unnecessary things.
…. Just take what is needed, ignore what is not.
…. Stop talking, start doing.

Stop ranting!

Salam.

RA

Temasek – April 11, 2018 – 00:40

 

thumb_IMG_6992_1024

Journey – ranting

It is 2018, March! Third month of the 12 months, year is rolling so fast, not long after this it’s gonna be next year. I’m happy that I was given a chance to start 2018 – my fortysomethingth year of life.

In my movie mind I’m a global trotter, walking or running or hitchhiking, taking vehicles. There are a backpack, oh no just a satchel and a small rucksack, a pair of strong yet comfy boots, a hat and wow wow comfy apparel. I have some cash and some plastic money that I can use when needing to spend for food and things. I use Apple Pay anyway.

I’m so far quite a distance from home and still don’t wanna come back. I have some sites to visit. I am in a journey, yes I am. I know where I am going, yet I won’t share with anyone where I’ve been until I reach Finish line. Blogs, vlogs and notes are saved everywhere as I have left fingerprints and footprints there. “Global Trotter was here” is the stamp, seen or unseen. This journey has engraved prayers and wishes on milestones along the path. In rain and shine, I’m not alone yet I’m alone. What a beautiful journey! Thank You.

Where am I going? I know where it is, I just will not tell – it’s a Secret. They told me to be careful of wild boar and snake or tiger and bear or crocodile and quicksand and everything poisonous, dangerous or scary. But I am alive. They reminded me of getting lost or being cheated or getting robbed or kidnapped. But I am safe and sound.

I am on the right path. How do I know? I just know.

I remembered my Mother then made a call clarifying that I was ok and I would proceed. She cried and asked if I would go home soon. I said I am sorry but I have to go. I love you, Goddess of My Life….

I promise to only myself that I will not stop until this journey completes itself. I won’t tell either where I’m heading to. Just don’t worry, I’ll be safe and reach straight home without getting lost because….

…. I have my North Star.

Temasek – March 2, 2018 – 03:05

latitude-north-star-5-degrees-above-horizon_8d32bb0c6f9cb1e2

Picture borrowed from https://www.reference.com/geography/latitude-north-star-5-degrees-above-horizon-8d32bb0c6f9cb1e2

Something Just Like This – lyrics

Thank you for those who wrote the lyrics and composed the music. It reflects the conversation between my soul and my physical reality. I want something just like this!

For them, I dedicate this plain haiku:

Longing for a song.
I am something just like this.
I accept my this.

===

“Something Just Like This”
(with Coldplay)

I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spiderman’s control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly I don’t see myself upon that list

But she said, “Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can kiss.
I want something just like this.”

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

Oh, I want something just like this
I want something just like this

I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
The testaments they told
The moon and its eclipse
And Superman unrolls
A suit before he lifts
But I’m not the kind of person that it fits

She said, “Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can miss.
I want something just like this.
I want something just like this.”

Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

“Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can kiss.
I want something just like this.”

Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this

Layers of Lights (ranting)

Lapisan lambang, makna, ilmu –

Cahaya di atas Cahaya

What you can capture with the eyes are those reflecting the light. The intensity of the Light affect the clarity of the object reflected to the lenses inside of your head.

But what is that object? That depends on what you have been informed through your experience from time to time. The longer the time, the more extensive the description of the object will be. The more frequent the object is scrutinised, the more comprehensive the description will be.

And if you are exchanging with more directions of sources, the object has become not only a description of what the Light has reflected to the lenses inside of our head but you will find that the object becomes a plane to define something else. It has turned into a symbol defining a meaning. The more expressive the symbol is defined, the deeper you search into yourself. And deeper deeper deeper to the abyssal ocean of inner knowledge. From your eyes to your head to your mind to your heart to your bottomless self….

Bottomless self?

It is where you’ll find the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning……..of what reflected to the lenses inside of your head.

Layers of meaning is layers of Lights.

Light on light on light on light on light on light….

Light upon Light!

Muar – January 11, 2018 – 00:50

Hero – song

This song by Mariah Carey, Hero has been a good earplug for me. Been feeling so tired of my own self – being not confident with all what I called weaknesses. Until I found that points of weakness are where our strenghts stand out. Enjoy…. ❤

There’s a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don’t have to be afraid
Of what you are
There’s an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It’s a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don’t let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You’ll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you

 

 

Singapore – May 22, 2017 – 00:45

Noble Silence

New adventure will start soon: next trip, my walking meditation – noble silence…. It might not be a full noble silence but it will be two weeks without communication with people of my circles. ‘ll cut off my bond with them for just a while.

Starting from April 13 at 00:00 only smiles and genuine good gestures I’ll perform. Hope I don’t have to speak with someone except when in need of direction because in those two weeks the wind is flying me to West Europe.

‘m sure this noble silence will succeed as entrance passess are purchased – there is not so much need to talk to enter venues. Only need to hop in and out where the path is leading this plane.

All senses will rest yet at the same time they are most active in this mobile meditation – my kind of noble silence. Walking, sitting, lying down, standing, eating, drinking — all done with consciousness…. Hope this is a noble start to live a noble life ahead.

Yes, ‘m starting soon…. Noble silence….

Counting down…
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
.

Screen Shot 2017-04-10 at 22.54.14

Info:
http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/book-reviews/excerpts/view/15042
– picture borrowed from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/396316835936024571/

Chocolate Cake – Ready Ingredients

January 1, 2017

Isn’t it so exciting to welcome a new cycle? Hmmm…. It is an agreed cycle, don’t complain. It is what we believe the first day of another new year. Let’s just take it for granted to make my writing short…. 🙂

Yes, it is my first day of the processes of the making of my chocolate cake of success.

ingredients-chocolate-cake

Picture is borrowed from http://www.livinthepielife.com/2010/12/chocolate-sheet-cake-with-toasted-pecans/

All are checked and ready! All are good ingredients. In my real life, they are my ideas, thoughts, projects, inteligence, optimism, determination, and faith to God.

Day #1 is well done.

What’s next?

Tools! Ok, let’s find them. Remember, those should be the cleanest and every one of them should be ready.

Ok…. See you later when I have those tools with me, Friends!

Singapore – January 1, 2017 – 5:00am

Angkor Wat – old city

I visited Angkor Wat, Siem Reap of Cambodia last week with three of my friends – Mbak Roh, Mbak Endang and Agnes. We did quasi backpacking – why quasi? Well, we decided to travel light – they flew AirAsia which tickets were purchased one year ago – but pack things in pretty luggage.

We stayed in a cheap inn of USD35.5 per night instead of fancy Park Hyatt or Le Meridien and took tuk-tuk everyday instead of rented car. It was a cool journey!

Some pictures captured show the joy! Enjoy!

Singapore – August 28, 2016 – morning….

I live – free verse

I live forever,
When it I who lives forever.
But I might only live for 70 years,
When it is I who lives for 70 years.

I decide to live forever,
I who is riding planes – many different planes
Travelling through time and space.
Give me life
One at a time.
Then live forever I do.

But this plane will not make me forever for you.
This plane decays by time – this time.
This plane deteriorates by weather – this space.
I won’t live forever in this plane.
Then yes I won’t live forever.

Thanks for being with me when I’m in this plane.
And see you again with me on another space and time because we live forever.
Just know me then you know when we meet again.

I’m happy forever in joy.

img_6506

Singapore nowhere – this time of 3:05am

Water Crystal – a sharing

Years ago I read one article about Masaru Emoto, the professor who confirmed with his thousands of experiments that good intention brings good energy to water. I read the article long before Prof. Emoto’s work was translated to Bahasa Indonesia. I remeber very well when I shared about “happy water crystals”, my friends laughed at and left me. I don’t blame them – I talk too much rubbish, crazy things and unbelievable ideas…. I’ve been rubbish to some people. I don’t care lah….

Oh, I don’t want to talk about myself. I want to talk about water and its crystal.

When going around in KLIA, I decided to purchase a chain and a pendant but like usual when buying something it is my heart buying. I won’t take a thing if my heart does not say so. I didn’t have any idea why that pendant was chosen and not the lapis lazuli Turkey eye with a bright diamond which looks very pretty and shiny – you know how strong a Turkey eye is… Instead sapphire was chosen, a simple one with the same price!

single_hex

Getting home, I checked the pendant again. What actually its shape is like. Then I realized that it is a seven-hexagon. Oh my…. It might be a message.

IMG_6639

This is the sapphire pendant I bought from Habib.

And after some time the message was deciphered.

Water-Crystal-Stickers

Picture borrowed from http://hado.com/ihm/product/water-crystal-goods/

Seven-hexagon is the shape of water crystal. And why I took sapphire insteadl of lapis lazuli, because sapphire is my birthstone. The Universe emphasizes it to me that I’m born as a sapphire and to be close to water.

I believe water has healing power. But I also believe that only water from a good source is good, water from bad sources or bad because of negative energy should be cleaned and cleansed before use. Using Prof. Emoto’s words, good water has beautiful shape of crystal and we can perfect or repair the shape of water crystal by sending positive energy to the water we’re using. We can send prayers, send positive thought, concentrate positive statement and words to the water. We can do it alone or together. If you are interested in knowing more about him and his project, please Google his name. 🙂

Just to share with you, when I am sick, I would chant some prayers in front of a glass of water, blow the water after praying then drink the water. And mostly I’m cured with that. That is what I always recommend to my friends who ask me what to do when their animals or they themselves are sick.

More than that, I believe that this seven-hexagon sapphire pendant is for me to heal myself and heal the world.

It is a sign. Yes, it is.

Thank you Universe for bringing the message from the Source. I’m hearing, listening and taking actions.

Salaam….

Singapore – July 17, 2016 – 12:24am

Focused – haiku

She’s bulging her eyes.
A brown dot in a ground street.
Good God! It’s a dog!

===

A story of me and my fellow creature, a beautiful dog

And I don’t know to whom I am asking these questions…. And, I find myself in the middle of a market…. Everyone is shouting, everyone is selling, everyone is focusing on what words they’re saying.

Eveyone is speaking, but no one is listening, everyone is living alone….

When I saw a dog in a steet, a dusty ground street. I asked him where I ought to go…. And, he just looked at me without a word passing by me away….

Every one is living, every one is breathing, every one is busy with oneself….

Every one is walking, but no one was stopping, just to care what life is in the other’s end….

Then I chased the dog passing by me. I said, “Hello, Dog. Where are you going? Can I go with you until the next cross roads”. He nodded his head and smiled….

Then we went ahead together. No cross road ahead we found and we decided to go ahead together until we really had to quit….

Life is about sharing even with a dog. Thank you, God for sending me a dog that has been so focused on walking down the path of life.

CIMG1060

Singapore, May 2, 2016 – 9:58pm