Floating So High

Keeping afloat, buoyant freely swaying playing the waves in the sky—

Coldplay never fails me

I’m Ready

Tell the sun rising and setting that I’m ready anytime: morning, night and day— to present what’s best in my humble life.

💗 welcoming rising sun
💗 escorting the sun to sleep
💕 you can destroy the branches but you can’t kill the tree with healthy roots
💕 so full and filled

A Loving Visit

A loving visit beyond time and space. Salaam. Universe answers.

about the museum
beloved
beloved
beloved
when you’re loved, people still visit you even when you’re nowhere 💝
when you’re loved, you’re taken care of even when you’re nowhere
beloved – visiting him with love, see you again
beloved – visiting him with love, see you again

Ode to Day

Dear, day.
Do you know that I never stop waiting for you?
When my watch ticks a second,
My heart drips a note,
My pulse vibrates softly,
I know I am closer to you.

Dear, day.
Do you know that every part of you blesses me?
When morning breaks,
Noon flares,
Dusk fades to night,
I know the next you is waiting
For me.

Day oh day
Many I can’t understand,
Much I can’t decipher,
Little I can see,
Very few I can give
Yet I still hope
To meet you again.

Dear, day.
How I am blessed with family,
Gifted with friends,
Sufficed with this self,
You are still the one
Sung by this heart.
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
All have been today
And never faded away.

I am blessed, day
With another you
In the best way.

And for you
I am grateful.

as dark as serene night
as shadowy as calm dusk
as bright as each and every morning
she is well protected under the shade of glorious sunflowers 💝
dear sunflower 💕
and the white drops of details
when all glass vases are prioritised for orchid roots, fondue pot be today’s best choice 💝
all must be got rid of in order for the flower arrangement to get a spacious and “clean” background — there is always thing to prioritise; if it is not you, don’t feel bad — it’s just like that everyday so just be blessed with becoming either 0 or 1 in this binary world 💕

Love Diaries in A Library

This life is a library
Keeping all collections,
Reference to public,
Exclusive to a lover,
One lover.
The
Beloved—

Read,
Beloved
Any scrolls
In this library.

Read,
Lover
The diaries
In the secret dungeon.

Read,
Beloved
With naked eyes, or
With any glasses on the shelves.

Read,
Lover
Through letters and numbers,
Shapes and colours.

Read,
Beloved
This library is open
As long as you are awake.

Read,
Lover
Before you sleep
When I’ll be reading you through.

my earlier diaries are true stories through naked eyes; the later are colours, shapes, numbers, words in various styles and figures of speech needing some tricks and tips to sense layers of meanings and information — we are all writers, librarians and readers 💝

About the photo

Taste

How many tastes can she experience in joy? 5 or 7?

Realising that the best taste is not any of those 5 or 7; the best taste is only 1: to love. 😊

Days of love be like…

well done beef
sate kambing (lamb skewer)
ayam geprek (smashed chicken)
nasi rames (combined dish riced)
gado-gado (vegetables in peanut sauce)
lumpia sayur (vegetable spring rolls)
pisang goreng (fried banana)
the baked and cherry
the baked and blueberry
mango 💝 and pumpkin seeds

Angels (sharing)

The wings are flapping sprinkling blessings through the air. Breathe them. Be blissful.

In Arabic angel is called malaaikatun or malaaikah or simply malaaikat (الْمَلٰٓئِكَةِ) literally meaning “power that governs”. In Islamic tradition the “power that governs” are grouped based on what type of assigned power they govern that are many and one of them is “power to govern protection”.

I always believe I am fully protected through the existence of the angels surrounding me although I am not interested to discuss about their form; people say angels have wings, others say they are made from light, some say malaaikah are systemic laws to run the universe, and so on and so forth. It doesn’t matter to me. That they exist and follow the assigned “power to govern” is enough for me.

Only when we listen, we will hear. We will hear the songs of the angels, the songs of universe, the songs of the heart, the songs of the soul. I prefer my angels to sing jazzy songs in this end of long weekend. 😁

Listening to heart…. 💗

Salaam.

‘ve met feathers almost everywhere walking recently; i took it as a sign that protection is everywhere and decided to always wear this silver pendant this year as an appreciation of the protection — thank you for the protection

Ouch Call! (ranting)

A stroke of a brush is how universe started. A surprise that lasts—

Certain friend is good at the same time destroyer of mood. I have one who can leave me“ouch ouch ouch oooouuuuch” for at least one week. This person loves ouching friends as an ice breaker but to some of us he has made it to the next level. This time he ouched me romantically, the worst of all my ouch experience from him. Call one “ouch caller”.

OC: Ready for a forced holiday? Have fun! Don’t work every night, just every two nights.

Me: (1st ouch) Hmmm ok, Sir.

…. Blah blah blah

OC: How is your romance? Get rid of him. He doesn’t even care about you. Don’t be stupid. You are not a door mat.

Me: (2nd ouch)

OC: What type of man do you want? Am I not good enough?

Me: (3rd ouch, but I have to say something) Hey, hey! Not a good time to talk about romance. Painting here and don’t want to lose vibe in the head.

OC: Tell me then. Handsome? Healthy? Rich? Hard working? I… Am… Everything!

Me: (Laughing like crazy as this person was very right about himself) Are you a sales person of your own product?

OC: Yes! And I’ve been selling my quality to you for the past how long with no buy in. You’re getting older and older.

Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH) Ok, ok. I have to explain. I want someone whom I can be comfortable being with even when both of us don’t like the same things. Can you, Mr Cruel Oucher?

OC: What! Of course not! When I go to party, you have to go to party with me. When I go to the gym, you have to go with me. When I cook, you have to cook all what I want. Blah blah blah…. You have to do what I like to do! If necessary you should give up what you like to like what I like.

Me: (Still couldn’t stop laughing) You are not. You are not that right person. You are just my ouch person.

OC: Is he still that person?

Me: Yes.

The next is the most ouched one but probably the most accurate to describe a fact.

OC: Then you have thin hope, thin chance. Not compatible. You don’t even know how to party. You don’t even know how to drink except that weak wine. You don’t even know how to flirt. He might not like reading. He might not like art and literature and walking. He might not like biking. He might hate you singing. He might hate you writing. He might hate you touching your hair again and again. You are not his physical type of beauty. He might hate you with your job. He might hate you being honest and independent. He just doesn’t like you as you. Oh! So relief I could say all these finally.

Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH OOOOUUUUCH and this will last long) You’re right. Very right. Time to stop your ouches, Sir.

OC: Then you still say no to me?

Me: (Mild ouch but I got impatient) You? I can’t tolerate a die hard nerd like you. You cook better than women. You manage money too well; you are stingy! You love your nephews and nieces more than anyone else, you won’t care about me. You work too hard. You eat too much healthy food, I love deep fried. You ouch people too much. Listen. Don’t call me just to ouch me.

OC: Ok, ok. How are you?

Me: Fine.

OC: Broken heart still?

Me: (ouch) Not really, just a bruise and scratch. Will get over it soon.

OC: It will be gone. For you not too soon though because you are not intelligent in romance. Be patient with yourself. (He was calming and that is when everyone likes him, a calm nice guy — unfortunately came too late after too many ouches happened.) Describe how you think about that person and let’s start the real conversation of today.

Me: My universe

OC: I want to throw up! You imagine him as a Chris Martin? Hahaha!

Me: Never heard of him singing hahaha!

Then we started to chat without ouches for almost two hours — a very nice two hours. A good friend to me is that who ouches me but still makes me comfortable with her/his genuineness.

Thank you! 🤝

Chris Martin is My Universe 😁

Disclaimer: blogged with this ouch caller’s consent with one condition “no exaggeration” which is not accepted like he never said “I want to throw up” and never said that he is handsome and rich although he is rich but not handsome 😊

Quarter

Life is a quarter
With many doors to access.
Ever rendezvous—

me, Mel the mother of groom and Choo photographed when we were having good time after the wedding matrimony 💝 souls meet for a good reason, no bad reason at all 😘

Love Is

Love is not fading.
Love is distancing away
From shooting stars
Hurting a peaceful land.

Dear, shooting stars.
Dance.
Fly.
Free fall.
Father of Sky will redirect you
To another land who is willing to be hurt
Or
Simply re-orbit you to safer route.

Gaia is well protected from outer orbits by Jupe the Jupiter; sadly the children are damaging her – you are blessed, Mother Earth 💝

Present

Thanks for the present.
Good breathing and walking
Unwrapped everyday—

thank you! it is said not a Christmas gift but there is a “Merry X’mas” on a card; thank you for the gift every year although I am not a Christian 💝😃
i guess the boxes are all empty 😁

Smile

Smile, Beloved, smile.
It’s a luxurious gift
For you and for me.

I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.

Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. 💝

Thank you!

💝

sleepy, angry, yet stop telling me to take a nap! 😂😂😂
classroom, my party time; playground, my party time, my childhood was everyday party! 👯‍♀️
no smile, no mercy 😃
length of hair defines how I treat the world; i love my pretty silly me! 😃

Love & Luck

My love is mostly dumb, stubborn, too thin to see, and makes you hate me.

My luck is often loud, sudden, too huge to miss, and makes me love you.

I’m not a gambler, yet think you’re a dice rolling numbers for a prize.

my love and luck grows for and bows to you

Journey

Journey to the self
Takes a long and winding road,
Worth doing. Half done—

Human beings’ journey to understand one’s self is often unpredictable. I never wanted to visit Mecca and Medina yet because of my devotion to a mother, I agreed to go to ensure that she was safe and healthy. And the result was tremendous evolution of self. 💝

To Ibu: I miss you much today 😘

Alfatihah

Masjid Nabawi (Mosque of Prophet) in Medina — where I started strongly realising that there is a journey —a silent one— that I must commit 💝 someday I’ll be back with a clearer mind and a calmer heart yet the same level of “disobedience” and stubbornness 😁
where I witnessed how a human being’s karma is overtly paid off and showing the quality of a person visiting this place – my mother is a humble, kind and very very generous person and in this place she was greeted by sooo many female pilgrims from other countries, requested to take picture together, given a looooooooooot of food every day, given space once arriving in the mosque (her friends in her group were not that much) – me? oh of course she introduced me as her daughter cum translator and then was included in all her blessings 😝
the only person who could move my heart to finally go – thank you, Ibu; might not be a happy ending for me but was a best start of a journey 💝

where my heart was knocked from inside that the journey is within and silent, a precious gift — the physical is a gift wrap to respect whomever we wish 💝 (Masjidil Haram, Mecca)
a life long pilgrimage of mine 💝 a private, silent, almost secretive so only I and whom I most love know the milestones 💗 others are guessing and interpreting 🙏🏼

Love Is

Two love birds singing
In a cage full of good food.
A choice to a love—

Love is…. ?

Love is…. ?

Love is…. ?

Damn! I can’t define it except that it is sometimes misunderstood with lust.

That it is often symbolised with a heart shape. Maybe most human beings believe love comes from the heart. Hey! Is that really the shape of a heart? Or just how we agree that it is a shape of the heart?

That it is discussed everywhere but also wasted everywhere.

What I believe love is a verb not a noun so without action, it is muted sooner or later. At the same time love is an energy that cannot be created or destroyed so it is there and will be there, yet it can transform and/or transfer between subjects. Compatibility (chemistry), heat (intensity), motion (intension), what else can change the form of love? (oops forgetting all the physics learnt when younger)…. Anyway, it transforms and transfers (circulates can be another word) between (or among if circulated) human beings. So, accept it.

I believe love is about interest that human being cannot select voluntarily. It is a blessing at the same time a curse. it can be love between two love birds inseparable, or Tom and Jerry entertainingly cruel for either of two, or as cold as Antarctica.

I believe love is the core power generator of life that if removed, life will disappear. Never give up love. Broken heart is just a milestone that brings a human being to deeper and deeper understanding about him/herself. Broken because of a crush? Broken because of family? Broken because of friendship? Broken because of work? Broken because of world reality? A human being can always fix it gradually with anger, disappointment then acceptance. Just don’t be broken because of yourself – you are the most precious for yourself.

I believe that the way someone loves evolves through time, and it will suit the person’s intention never not. There should not be regret of what has happened because of love. Yet it is a regret that some people still choose to constantly send covert or overt humiliation and torture to hurt intentionally and/or to disrespect further to those they don’t love, while the best way should be forgiving or clearly declaring clear disagreement. War is one of them. Yet liked or not, that is the evolution of loving.

This weekend comes with a basket full of lessons learnt, a heap of ideas to pour as blessings in writings that I can re-read someday in the future.

Thank you, Love. You are never wasted.

Alfatihah to all whom I love.

a love locket with a pair of love birds seen in Bangkok airport – I could not resist its charm! now it is a daily friend to my T key love pendant

Walk Back Not

There’s only one way to leave a forest: its edge. Throw away the doubt.

life is too precious to play complicated games; take away unknown factors from the equation and find a home 🥰
Yogyakarta, a place I dream of being a home when all these muscles give up the hardship – maybe yes maybe no, my bothers said; I said again “at least I know it is now my home”