Blue Is The Night

Good morning, moon. How
Was your night? Mine is so blue,
Missing someone that
Is loved. He flies with his dreams.
I dive with mine. Happiness—

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💐

no wonder most of my nights are blue, the blue light glows wrapping the rise

Happy Journey

Birthday, Beloved,
One step closer to the gate
To a rendezvous

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It’s my mother’s 77th birthday and she looked so happy when I called through my little brother’s phone. A happy day for all of us finding that she’s still happy and healthy in this age.

She’s a lady of the house. She’s respected by family and neighbours because of her kindness. She’s cheated though by the greed. She’s loved by her children at the same time official enemy of all of them at certain time. I personally have a shade of rivalry against her, she did envy me how I would be closed with and always got constant support from my father. 😂

My friends want to be like her but I don’t. I don’t want to be like her because her life was too tough. She was born in a period of war, raised mostly without a father and be given a lot of ups and downs in her personal journey. Lucky that she was married to a humble, kind, hard working man and they became one of the best couples in our humble world.

Happy birthday, Ibu. I wish you happiness. 💝 Long happy life! See you at our dining table on your 78th birthday. 😘😘😘😘😘😘

Lots of love as always,

Your daughter (stubborn yet sweet) 😊

this is yours, Ibu
this is mine!!!

Light Weekend

This heart is a pot
With seed buried in its dark,
Growing to the light.

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Always believe in the beauty of human’s heart. The darkest of it there is still a dot of light that will brighten one’s life! There must be at least one tiny dot of light.

Believe it. Run free like Bambi playing in peaceful woods.

Enjoy this blessed weekend! Take all light, as light as feather

🐣

Salaam….

Accessible Memories

Deny all what’s not
Is a start where to find me.
Seed to be seedling,
Tree decayed, the decayed soil
Eaten by air. Who am I?

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Identity is a consequence of marriage. You marry the country, you’ll be a nationality but what if your passport expires? You marry a company, you become an employee but what if you retire? You marry a career, you are higher and higher but what if you are not promoted? You marry a clique, you become a friend but what if they kick you out?

You marry a person, you become a spouse then a mother then a grandmother, etc. You are a wife only to your husband. You are a mother only to your children. And so on.

What you have married brings you an identity. Layered identity is wrapping you.

You can marry as many as those to earn identity. You can’t be any of them forever and you can’t be with those you marry forever. None of them is permanent; there’s a time for each of them.

Are all those identities you? After living this long, I can confidently say NO.

I thought I was this body, but the body deteriorate. I thought I was the mind, but the mind is so inconsistent. I’m not even this name.

There must be a question inside that you can’t deny, dear Self. Who…. Are…. You?

The answer lies at one point of your cruise. Grab your apparatus and dive in your own deep ocean, Self.

Be alone some time either when alone or among the crowd, and naked in front of your own self. Deny all what’s not and find the truly you.

I love you, my dear self.

💝

Incredibly Dreamy

Dream is more than true.
It’s alive in different world.
Sail, Dream. Sail to me.

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If you’ve got dreams, never kill them no matter how impossible they look, with one condition: they should be good dreams that don’t harm other creatures. Live with the dreams. Ship them to reality with all whispers and prays.

Dreams are standing in queue, waiting for the door to open up to them.

Just like my biryani!

I don’t mind throwing up biryani today. 😁

Salaam….

ya Allah, enak banget! 😂💝
💝
pressure cooker is needed for next cooking 😁
regret of not including the bone! next time better
I love this one! So fragrant and glazed 🥰
boiled basmati rice with some cinnamon bark and Indian bay leaves – I shouldn’t have put the saffron at this stage 🥰
a bit too much yoghurt in, next time better 🥰
herbs and spices, one was left not taken picture the garan masala
basmati rice

Trust

Cool breeze sweeps dry leaves,
Branches stretch to where Wind blows.
Where do you go, Wind?

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How can I ignore my own silence? How can I listen to the noise more? It is tiring to leave my own self behind, I’m doing it though. I haven’t trusted my self. 🙃

This mind acts like dry leaves, scrambling frantically just because of cool breeze. Sometimes it moves lazily in panic pulled by strong wind, changing directions every now and then. Lightly and heavily moving because of doubt and fear of failure—

Trust is what can help. Trust that there is a net catching me when I free fall. Trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel although I haven’t seen it yet. Trust that I’m in process, not lost.

Trust is a light word, weighing as heavy as an unmovable mountain.

May all beings be happy. 💝

Tomorrow May Never Come

I love you today
With heart and soul. Tomorrow?
It’s done and will go.

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Live as if there is no tomorrow. People die. People forget. Do good while now is here.

Blessed those who live today.

Salaam…

Limited Edition For Unlimited Time

Only, Beloved,
Unnecessary limit.
Roam. Do celebrate.

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Weekend always opens my eyes to see that life isn’t only about balancing or fulfilling. Life is sometimes about emptying what’s full and making regular things odd, because celebrating is about putting one more milestone where a journey restarts.

September, thank you for giving me many signs which I can and cannot read. The unread is queueing to be deciphered. Wish you give me the answers so I can have more celebrations in life.

May all beings be happy…. 💝

my dream is to cook my own biryani soon, now eating it from the store is a dream-come-true – I didn’t see the need of unpacking it. Hajaaaar! 😄🥰

Three Words

Three words wait for you
To say to those around you:
Beloved darling—

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Words in poem

Colours in painting

Voice in songs

Air in breath

Prayer in silence

Steps in walk

Choose one way to say I love you…

Green Can Be Not A Colour At All

Some green book wasn’t green;
As black as history; fun
As unique friendship.

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A good watch for the weekend 🎉

How a trip makes a friendship.

How seat position makes different points of view.

How sweet words move a heart.

How a movie draws smiles.

How would you think?

Shape A Good Heart

Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—

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Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though

With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.

Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam….

where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝

Beauty In Spectrum

Canna, you’re a maze.
An intricate bright beauty—
May I have jasmine?

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Some people behave like a maze alive. While impressing others with beautiful look, fascinating sweetness, deathly charms; they often hide the truest true.

Perhaps they are not ready with vulnerability as a result of experiences of untrue relationships. Or, the worst scenario is they have hidden agenda.

While it works wonder in literary or art (some authors or artists want anonymity or pseudonymity, and their works are better sold), it won’t work in friendship. It will be a total failure to some extent.

What are people trying to hide from those called closest friends…. if at the end the untruthfulness stops the friendship from functioning well? Why should ones be pretending?

To someone who is being forced by life for a seclusion:

Please be strong and learn to be vulnerably honest about yourself to your own self.


Wish you the best of the best. You’re a butterfly in the making.
💝

May all beings be happy….

canna lily, “bunga tasbih” in Indonesian, the intricate bright beauty
jasmine sambac, “bunga melati” in Indonesian, the simple humble beauty

Walking The Dark

Value, Beloved,
Not only talked; also walked—
White cane of the blind

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One teacher said talking and walking the value consistently is one of the safest way of life. Challenging though especially where many are unknown or unfamiliar—

Yet it takes integrity to stay in a value.

“Hey! What about economical value? Political value?“ asked the students.

Teacher said,”When it is about taking advantage from others, we’d better not call it value.”

“What would you call it then?”

“Hmm…. I don’t know, whatever you call it as long as you don’t harm yourself and others.”

“Sometimes those who know don’t know….,” said one student whispering almost no voice.

“Some things just don’t have exact name. They are simply known and felt,”said the teacher in the heart smiling and walking ahead.

Aah! It takes a journey to be a student. It takes a journey to be a teacher. The same journey, different lessons 💝

Salaam…

keeping value as an ethical beacon in life

Connection

Fungi, Beloved,
Connects roots of trees on earth.
How do you connect?

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I saw a cluster of mushrooms and wonder what they were discussing. Maybe they were weaving cables beneath the grass sending messages among trees around, like human beings sending iMessages and emails to each other. Or maybe like soul sending good energy in unison in silence—

May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼

fungi networking

Constant Discovery

You are, Beloved,
A complete self who finds new
Self one at a time.

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A philosopher once said that change is the only constant and others agreed with the statement. When we see change as tangibility yes, I totally agree.

Yet about growth of self I have my own comprehension. Do I change? Yes, I get thinner or fatter, older with wrinkles and lines not younger, slower, weaker physically, less sharp sight, and so on and so forth. So I change? No, I’m still the same person with the same DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth, or other possible constants.

Not only that….

I believe I’m always this full yet I discover this self more and more everyday. With deeper and deeper understanding, wider and wider disclosure I have lived and accepted life.

Personally everyone is granted with talents, DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth. No one can deny those. No one can escape even one hates those and wishes to have been born someone else. Sorry, you can’t! Embrace the personality.

Yet everyone is given opportunity to build identity.

What did I want myself to be?

What did I not want to be associated with?

How did I want others to perceive me?

How did I not want others to treat me?

What?

How?

Whom do I want to enter my life?

Who will be part of my inner circle I want?

Whom?

Who?

Why have I done this and that? This is a very important question to even know the unbroken chains that has brought me to this state.

Am I still I am? Yes, definitely a constant! But am I me? No, you’re a different you since you’ve embraced constant self discovery.

😏

Me: Saturday night, keep me safe and warm.

Saturday night: You’ll be safe and warm if you finish your laundry and mop the floor. No one will do it!

Me: (losing all suddenly-pretending-to-be-wise act and thought)

Saturday night: 🤪 capek deh….!

May all beings be happy.

pretty sword lilies and asiatic lilies – sorry, not today, no budget!!!

Wonderland

Good vibes, Beloved,
Contagious and precious
Keep it the longest.

—————————————————————————————————-

Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”

Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..

Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.

More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!

All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!

God bless my dear Indonesia and what’s in it. 💝

Laughing

Laughing, Beloved,
Throwing up positive vibes,
Burning some sadness,
Growing positivity—
We can do it everyday.

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What can I do constantly in life but laughing? How funny this life is! How ironic life is! How entertaining life is! How fun life is! How miserable life is! How mysterious life is! How enjoyable life is! Laughing takes all, just try to improvise the laughing style to suit each situation.

A friend called and the topic of most of my chats are stupid things. This time we laughed at how funny emotional rollercoaster is. Sometimes she feels that she is at the peak of consciousness and that’s why she feels so calm and peaceful until someone sends her a picture or tags her in a social media posting then she realises that calmness explodes to buried anger.

I can’t even remember what made us burst into laughter from one story to another. We just thought sadness is sometimes funnier than happiness. Or maybe we simply think happiness is able to materialise itself into any form.

I always love to laugh. Maybe I was a kookaburra bird in one of my past life if I had one. Oooh how I miss Australia! 🦘

Salaam…. 😏

Independence Day

Freedom, Beloved,
Inner beauty blooms in time.
True celebration—

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Celebration is a blessings enjoyed everyday. Celebrating health. Celebrating welfare. Celebrating family. Celebrating friendship. Celebrating breath. Celebrating greenery…… Celebrating anything I want to celebrate.

Celebrating stupid chats with some good friends. 😁

I love celebration in which commemoration is the core but never ever enjoy party in which entertainment is the core.

August is major celebration after September. In August two home countries celebrate their independence: Indonesia on 17, Singapura on 9. Both have unique ways to celebrate the days. For the past nine years on Singapura’s I’ve personally loved seeing all the flags hanging in apartments and along streets, in Indonesia’s except last and this years I’ve gone to the Embassy for flag ceremony combined with meeting with other Indonesians enjoying the precious moment together.

Happy National Day, Singapura! Thanks for taking care of me.

Dirgahayu Indonesiaku! How much ever the distance between us, you’re always in this heart. Thanks for gushing me some blood of great archipelago.

May all beings be happy.

flowers for celebrations of August

red, white on green

Quests

Dogma, Beloved,
The least she can hold in life.
She is full of quests.

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What human beings should think of being sick is it is a tool materialised by Life to make them stop or at least slow down especially from analysing every single thing. Yet human beings often forget that blessing should not be always gift-wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons; it might be sometimes humbly bundled in a sack.

Blimey! Why do I have so many sacks? And poorly unable to untie them successfully 😎

May all beings be happy.

a pile of ugly sacks; filled with all the richness of nature

No Secret

Secret, Beloved
Ice cube waiting for warm touch—
Melts and flows: a stream
Of messages from the heart.
Read or heard of. Clean and clear—

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No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.

Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.

Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.

As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.

May all beings be happy.

that year, when a cold caught a cold