graphs of my Universe
Kindness, Beloved
A strand of gemstones glowing.
A gift for my love--
—
arriving home from Malaysia, i found a sukun (bread fruit) as a gift from my neighbours (cleaners, gardeners, security guards) for the 2nd time — need to look for things that can give them smile
thank you, neighbours!
A guest, Beloved:
Someone enjoying your home
Then a warm farewell
—
it’ was either me or my friend the guest here; yet we both enjoyed today’s dinner so much
Coincidences,
Unexplained experience
In one fast crossroad
——
‘M supposed to watch Coldplay in Japan with Vito, my nephew. We’d planned the trip since May; he passed away in July. Feeling desperate and not wanting to go alone, I was about to cancel the trip when coincidently one best friend said she wanted to visit me in Singapore in the week of the supposed-to-be-cancelled trip. I offered her a free Coldplay ticket to go with me. She agreed! And so the trip cancellation didn’t happen. 💕
I am still selecting which photo of his is the best to bring. I want to take picture with his picture before, during and after Coldplay concert and wherever we would have been going in Japan.
Sometimes we live to walk on others’ dreams and those who have the dreams must let go off their dream to be walked on by others. That’s why I always want to live my life with true dedication as not everyone has the opportunity to live this long.
For those living chasing dreams, you can!
For those leaving with some dreams behind, your dreams are cherished by your beloved!
Rest in love, dear boy.
Salam.
my life is a chain of ordinary acts, rare sprinkles of drama and magical coincidences — unexplainable except that I am blessed with all the problems and solutions 💕
Fragrance of sambac
Ferries the wish to the love
Reborn with new scents.
——
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so — remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. 🥰 We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yet….
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. 💚
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 — wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck 💕😊 you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! 💕💕😊
The bow that launches
Is the arrow that is shot:
An exhibit by the
One
That honour is inevitably
Gorgeous
For that
Respecting
From that
Witnessing.
Salute to the bowstring.
——
I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada — I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in you and all my fellow Tapa Brata participants 🙏🏼
it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree — hope health and calmness be granted to all of us ♥️
Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him — the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect
canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection
torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center — yummy and fragrant when cooked
💚
Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didn’t talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.
Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation — they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop “ngereog” in the last 5 to 10 minutes.
My age doesn’t mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.
See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! 💕
ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someone’s intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress 😂
Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) — Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata 😄
pure friendship is such a magical bond 💕
A limit is lines
Where start and finish collide.
Saved energy mode—
This life’s pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.
——
a mosque in Tokyo — Tokyo Jamii (Camii)
entrance — assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii
mosque area – 2nd floor
i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it
the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines
a feeling of home 💕
then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking — she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me 😁 thank you 💕
time to fly home — thank you, Tokyo 💕
you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars
The water
Flowing
With singing ripples
The air
Flowing
With whistling whispers
The wrong
Flowing
With whirling apologies
The right
Flowing
With blessing forgiveness
The heart
Flowing
With reciting verses
The soul
Flowing
With chanting gratitudes
The music
Flowing
With dancing life
——
they bought it from amazon for me and keep it for my next visit— my prayer is flowing with never-ending ありがとう！
My life is sugar cane
That I chew in summer day
Before singing.
My life is honeycomb
That I suck in rainy day
Before whistling.
My life is a bowl of ice cream
That I dig in on a quiet day
Before humming.
My life is sweetness of heart
That I choose
Before resting.
——
i wish to be back someday to enjoy it in summer 💕
How’s life, dear pearls of friendship?
Your shadow flashed in the tips of these eyes
All of a sudden.
I wish you all good heart
That shines
Through the orbits
Of all friendly comets
That travel the universe
Bringing verses
About love and friendship
That last forever
With the expanding universe.
You are truly loved
And missed….
——
Brisbane 2017 with Mbak Wien, my friend back in uni the only person able to make me sit in a club for almost 5 hours in a riverbank of a Brisbane river (not sure what river it was though), yet she was not successful to make me drink but jugs of orange juice
a loving daughter and sister, a wife of a kind man, a mother of 2 brilliant boys, a rather crazy friend
when will i see you again? maybe some day when i’m back to down under
God bless you 💝 and all my dear friends 💝
There are star clusters
Glowing in the horizon
Sending messages.
——
From Yogyakarta I brought home a pair of batik grompol sheets which I ordered 6 months ago. Happy I must be!
Grompol is a Yogyakartan special classical batik pattern. No other regions can claim otherwise.
Let’s talk about batik grompol today.
Disclaimer: 1) while the primary interpretation is based on what I learnt from the masters; many of it is my own thought based on what I understand on symbols and signs of Javanese, Islam and Hinduism that intertwined in my upbringing. So please be critical. 2) too much information, too little time for me to summarise. Please expect disconnected ideas, connect them by yourselves.
Grompol batik pattern is a sub-category of ceplok pattern in which one geometry pattern is clustered (squares, triangle, circle, lines, etc). In Javanese language ceplok literally means clustering, grouping, gathering based on the same characteristics or criteria (size, colour, shape, pattern, lines, etc). So hypothetically ceplok pattern is always about gathering, uniting, getting together.
Grompol pattern is characterised through the clustering of of 4-petal flower, a flower pistil in the middle, a seed with 4 couples of 3-ceceg and 5-ceceg (ceceg is a terminology used to describe dots in batik pattern) and “wrapped” by a square with 8 points that almost looks like octagram.
Flower
4-petal flower is a symbol of fertile or healthy life. The 4 petals of the flower can be related to four points of the compass: east, west, north and south.
Flower pistil symbolises the centre of life, potential growth in human being. It can also represent the sun, the soul, the heart as centres of discourses to be applied based on contexts.
Flower which is the beauty before fruition is representing an expectation that human being should optimise their state of beauty which in Javanese almost always refers to the developed wisdom in human being manifested as kindness to fellow creature on earth before one dies.
Seed
A round seed surrounded by 4 couples of 3-ceceg and 5-ceceg symbolises seed of life that should be well protected from all directions.
The seed can be interpreted the same as the flower pistil in the middle of a flower. It is generated from the pistil fertilised by the pollens. It is the centre of life, potential growth in human being. It can also represent the sun, the soul, the heart as centres of discourses to be applied based on contexts.
The round shape of the seed indicates the completeness, thoroughness, integration, centredness, perfection, full cycle.
Ceceg is one type of isen (ornament in empty spaces among primary patterns of batik) in batik. Isen is more popular in Central Java than other regions, isen can be in the form of dots or lines or the combination of both repeatedly put in the intended empty spaces without changing the primary pattern, even there is an intension for isen to highlight the primary patterns.
3-ceceg can be interpreted as Trimurti, the three balancing power of Brahma, Wisnu and Siwa (Siva) which are the 3 powerful powers of creation of the universe, preservation of the universe and destruction of the universe.
5-ceceg can be interpreted as 5 types of self regulation: knowing one’s own identity and personality, connecting to inner self, managing the humane desires, living through good sources of life (no corruption, sharing to the needy) and self reflection through traveling or pilgrimage. A human being is expected to continuously strive for perfection of these five without expecting the perfection to happen.
Points of the Compass
Octagram represents 8. Number 8 in Javanese wisdom is about welfare and authority. Number 8 also represents 8 gods guarding the 4 points of the compass in which 1 direction is guarded by 2 gods of specific authority. The compass itself has 9 points – 1 the centre, 8 the directing points.
The 1 point in the middle is sat by Siwa. 8 points are sat by other gods based on what they manage in the natural realm. Those 9 (1+8) are called Dewata Nawa Sanga (nine guardian gods) in Balinese and Javanese culture. Those 8 are wellknown as Asta Dikplaka (eight gods of 8 directions).
Number 1, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9
Like in other cultures, Javanese gives significant role to numbers in their game of meaning.
Summary
That it is a ceplok type signifies the clustering, gathering, integrating of certain characters. So this batik is message and prayer for uniting of between or among family members. It is also a message and prayer of integration of human being internal wisdom – a state of maturity. Batik grompol is often worn by bride and groom in their wedding day due to its very sacred meaning of ultimate protection and potential growth through a gathering.
The uniting or integration should be based on clarity of wisdom and protection. It is the wisdom personally and culturally harvested and nurtured. The beholder, owner, wearer of batik grompol is expected to realise that this pattern is a message and a prayer that they are well protected at the same time expected to extend the given protection to all directions as the gods of all points of compass spread their protection to the universe.
The pistil of the flower as the potential growth in human being put as a compass centre in human being life can be interpreted that human being integrated wisdom has as strong power as Siwa who is sitting at the centre of the compass/chakra. Although described as destroying god, Siwa is actually symbol of re-creating, re-cycling. His being sat in the centre of a chakra (wheel, cycle) is significantly describing him as recreation/recycling agent who then distributes the re-created/re-cycled material to different function around him to be re-governed wisely by “different gods” (remember the 8 gods of all directions).
A human being should be able to learn, re-learn and un-learn one’s own life experience and lessons then to better redo or re-process the way one solves problems or to simply treat other creatures.
The round seed means a centred human being who has achieved the understanding of integrity, full cycle of life. It doesn’t mean the human being is flawless; it means the human being is aware of one’s flawedness yet accepting the state of imperfection of being human. And through the acceptance the human being keeps bettering one’s self in treating one’s self, fellow creatures and the nature. This is an everlasting interaction and intertwining between micro cosmos (jagat alit in Javanese language which represents human being) and macro cosmos (jagat gedhe, the universe).
And all in all, a human being shall pray to his God or make one’s self sure that to any direction one is heading to, one is safe and peaceful. Religious human being will live through guidance and protection from God. Spiritual human being will find inner centre in one’s self whatever one calls it and focus on what one is doing in honesty and sincerity. Free thinker will boost one’s self confidence and focus on what one is aiming with integrity.
So batik grompol has helped me understand that all my fellow human beings are essentially doing the same things as what I am doing in my life, just explained through different perspectives; and we are only of different pace and timing.
What a beautiful batik pattern. What a beautiful meaning.
my beautiful grompol batik cloths were born through the golden hands and soul blessed to this beautiful lady, Ibu Tien Wartienah
Looking forward to singing along with my favourite singers in Jazz Gunung Bromo soon!
Can’t wait! Can’t wait!
💝
not easy to fall in love, will not give love up easily either — life is too precious to hate even those who hate or disrespect me 💝 yet i do it my way
Dear, oh
Dear….
You came from
Nowhere
Destroying my scores!
No wonder the soundtrack of my stories
Became messy.
Go eat fish,
My sheets won’t suffice your belly.
Cat has no logic,
Only fun.
——
i used to live with a rescue cat, i named him Bob; he was more interested in tearing my paper apart or sitting on my laptop to playing with his toy or sleeping on my bed 💝
Bob in his dream of being my boss 😁 back in 2010
may all beings be happy 🙏🏼
Essentially pure?
None. No distiller’s perfect
But time. Refining—
—
Smell might be my strongest sense. It gives me both pleasant and not so pleasant experiences in life. To share the experiences is of course an ultimate goal, yet it takes time to materialise it.
To start
Have you smelled the earth wetted by rain water?
Have you smelled the grass cut in the morning, noon and afternoon?
Have you smelled your parents’ clean clothes?
Try those and you’ll be amazed with the sensation brought to you.
Salaam.
goal: to distill essential oils for myself and those around me — this is gonna be a read-it-when-i-want-it book ✨
May I
Sing a sweet song
With
You
Under glowing stars shooting
To leave their age?
May I
Sit silently
With
You
Under a quiet dusk rolling
To welcome dawn?
May I
Count the sheep
With
You
Under a dreamy night shining
To light a hope?
May I?
—-
may I eat gyoza? left over from last batch — so pleasing to eat my own food, almost like heaven 😁
I’ll love
No matter what
I’ll be over anyways.
I’ll work
No matter what
I’ll be over anyways.
There is me
Or not,
It might be the same.
Yet as long as there is me,
I’ll do what I can
To add more
Meanings
And
Utility
To my life.
I’ll love
No matter what
In life.
Life is good,
I won’t skip
A thank
And
Or
Cheers.
—
listen to love; it is everywhere 💕
Life is just like this:
A line with two ends. Circle—
Choose the best angle.
—-
They released us from the silence on May 5 at 11am before lunch time and gave us our gadgets back at 4pm. We were so excited to talk than to play the gadgets; we gathered in the dining hall and shared what we experienced during the noble silence.
We didn’t die without gadgets, no we didn’t. Yet we don’t die because of gadgets, either. Gadgets are just a tool to use wisely.
Each of us couldn’t thank more for everything.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam.
Pak Merta, our meditation teacher
Pak Kourma — our daily instructor
Pak Souca — our daily caretaker 🙏🏼
our last session of meditation was loving kindness meditation for daily life; the video camera was prepared for sharing session at the end
May 5 is today.
This is my second Tapa Brata and both of them are special. My first in 2018 was special because Pak Merta Ada’s teacher (Merta Ada is my health meditation teacher) a Buddhist high priest visited his retreat center and gave us blessings. This second one is because we found that May 5 is his birthday! He was born on May 5, 1957 — a long journey of a meditation teacher and healer.
Someone is also celebrating his birthday across the ocean. May 5 becomes more special today this time. A journey of a silent traveler.
Happy birthday Pak Merta and dear KU. Both of you have a special place in my heart.
For Pak Merta, we immediately prepared a green sarung rangrang. For KU I thoughtfully prepared a poem.
—-
Alone the bird flies
From a nest on a tall tree
It knows where home is.
🙏🏼
May 5 2023 is when the biggest moon rises this year; Waisak (Vesak) is already celebrated in some countries (on May 6 in other countries) — my meditation teacher is celebrating his birthday, another life teacher of mine is celebrating his
an “emergency” birthday present for Pak Merta Ada from our class, wrapped in a beautiful fancy paper from the nearest small shop nearby to wrap a sarung rangrang I originally bought for my additional spread and table cloth — what a beautiful togetherness in this meditation class 💝
In sanctuary,
Where birds from paradise sing,
Clear mirror reflects—
—
Out of office is set meaning that work is safe-kept for a while. Only silence remains. Even my boss and my mother— two whose calls I’ll never reject in normal situation can’t contact me. They know where I am so they won’t contact me. 😎
All my postings will be automatically scheduled starting May 1.
I pray that you all be blessed with good life.
Salaam.
💝
my goddess, Saraswati 💝
just wanna be offline for a while 🌸
i love to be with those knowing how to reflect me and themselves clearly ♥️
it is safe 💝
accompanied by two paradise birds in Ubud before starting my sacred silence tomorrow in Baturiti
All cuts and bruises
Paint a life of a blossom
Before it decays.
—
i was so young and innocent, a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i was so much blessed 💝
life has brought me travel through labyrinth of life with traps and turns that cut and torture yet i am still a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i am still so much blessed with cuts and bruises 💝 i’ve lost much but i find myself
no one shall erase this happy girl within — a blessed soul that travels through space and time 🙏🏼 thank you
rike jokanan 
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