graphs of my Universe
Catch my dreams, my love
The ones I could not.
Share the joy, my love
The one I would enjoy.
Let’s smile together
At the road we’ve taken.
You might have missed some dreams
Caught by your beloved around.
We’re dream catchers
Catching the ones
Delivered by the brightest fireflies.
Happy for good
Joyful forever.
—
Waiting for you, Love.
Each day, extra affection.
What a devotion.
—
Colours, hues, shades, tints
In a garden strike the eyes
Wandering within.
—
I am on an emergency short leave to visit my mother as my mother is sick. A sister called saying “she doesn’t want to eat”, “she can’t sleep well”, “she doesn’t want to visit her doctor”, “she thinks it is her time”, blahblahblah…. Alamak! Although sometimes we think she can be a drama queen, we start to think seriously when she can’t sleep well.
The second day of my visit she already watered her plants that line along my sister’s narrow garden. She sang along while walking in her house. She ate one big chunk of fast food’s fried chicken that my nephews insisted taken away for her. She has been back to her nature after meeting her children and grandchildren whom she missed who are now laughing with her at every breakfast, lunch and dinner time.
This morning she happily greeted the newspaper lady delivering her favourite “Jawa Pos”, the lady said “good morning, Ibu, you look radiant again”. She also had a short chat with her front neighbour about rain, cats and plants.
I think sometimes you just need to meet someone to be healthy. 💗
Yesterday morning I joined her watering the plants and took pictures of some of the blooms that have always made us all smile.
Salaam.
This corner is quiter,
Sitting on a placid lake,
Where still water
Hides a huge secret
Called love,
Is covered with a vast blanket
Called peace.
This corner is cozy,
Getting warmer and calmer,
Where a cat
Curls in a bed
Called dream,
Is lullabied with long slumber
Called hope.
How peaceful it is
Pampered with a life
Called humble.
Salaam.
—
What is love day?
A day when love is precious?
Only once a year?
How stingy human being is!
To express love only on that day—
Maybe they are afraid
Of saying love to
That they love dearly.
Maybe expression is
Embarrassing and too low
That they dump it cruelly.
Maybe love is considered a myth
Scientifically unproven
That it is skipped.
Maybe….
So much maybe.
I will still love
You
In silence
As
Love has made my heart pretty
Although rejection and ignorance
Once made it ugly.
All days are my love days.
To my
Beloved—
—
Keeping afloat, buoyant freely swaying playing the waves in the sky—
—
Tell the sun rising and setting that I’m ready anytime: morning, night and day— to present what’s best in my humble life.
—
Missing you is losing some pixels from mind; life becomes less vibrant.
—
Fly. See land from above. Wide, broad, one whole. Bird eye, one gift from heaven—
—
A loving visit beyond time and space. Salaam. Universe answers.
—
Dear, day.
Do you know that I never stop waiting for you?
When my watch ticks a second,
My heart drips a note,
My pulse vibrates softly,
I know I am closer to you.
Dear, day.
Do you know that every part of you blesses me?
When morning breaks,
Noon flares,
Dusk fades to night,
I know the next you is waiting
For me.
Day oh day
Many I can’t understand,
Much I can’t decipher,
Little I can see,
Very few I can give
Yet I still hope
To meet you again.
Dear, day.
How I am blessed with family,
Gifted with friends,
Sufficed with this self,
You are still the one
Sung by this heart.
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
All have been today
And never faded away.
I am blessed, day
With another you
In the best way.
And for you
I am grateful.
—
This life is a library
Keeping all collections,
Reference to public,
Exclusive to a lover,
One lover.
The
Beloved—
Read,
Beloved
Any scrolls
In this library.
Read,
Lover
The diaries
In the secret dungeon.
Read,
Beloved
With naked eyes, or
With any glasses on the shelves.
Read,
Lover
Through letters and numbers,
Shapes and colours.
Read,
Beloved
This library is open
As long as you are awake.
Read,
Lover
Before you sleep
When I’ll be reading you through.
—
About the photo
How many tastes can she experience in joy? 5 or 7?
—
Realising that the best taste is not any of those 5 or 7; the best taste is only 1: to love. 😊
Days of love be like…
There is memory shared around a round table at a starry night.
—
The wings are flapping sprinkling blessings through the air. Breathe them. Be blissful.
—
In Arabic angel is called malaaikatun or malaaikah or simply malaaikat (الْمَلٰٓئِكَةِ) literally meaning “power that governs”. In Islamic tradition the “power that governs” are grouped based on what type of assigned power they govern that are many and one of them is “power to govern protection”.
I always believe I am fully protected through the existence of the angels surrounding me although I am not interested to discuss about their form; people say angels have wings, others say they are made from light, some say malaaikah are systemic laws to run the universe, and so on and so forth. It doesn’t matter to me. That they exist and follow the assigned “power to govern” is enough for me.
Only when we listen, we will hear. We will hear the songs of the angels, the songs of universe, the songs of the heart, the songs of the soul. I prefer my angels to sing jazzy songs in this end of long weekend. 😁
Listening to heart…. 💗
Salaam.
Water! Water!
St Elmo’s fire!
Water!
No.
No water for St Elmo’s fire.
A good omen.
Amen! Amen!
St Elmo’s fire!
Amen!
—
New year again! Thanks so much for reaching this point like a plane (an inch to) landing smoothly. Seat belt still on! Airplane mode still on! Yet the pilot is smiling widely with fire in her heart brighter and brighter, no red anymore, now almost blue to white!
Count down! 💗
😊
About another St Elmo’s fire
I can’t know anymore what makes this area special for me, whether the Masjid Sultan or Wardah Books or two favourite restaurants here. Anyway at least two are in must-visit list at the same time. After visiting Masjid Sultan to submit charity from my fellow Indonesian, today’s preferred was Hokkaido (halal) ramen as Wardah Books was closed and the Turkish restaurant was too crowded — I don’t like crowded restaurant.
FYI, Masjid Sultan is surrounded by hundreds of restaurants and shops; it is an equivalent with old-time mosque which was always built around market place in order for people to reach it in no time.
When I meet friends in this area, it is either with a statement “let’s meet up at the mosque” or “meet at *** restaurant” or “Wardah Books this time?”. There is one question that my friends and I like to ask each other as either teaser or respect: “eating 1st or praying*) 1st?” The answer?
*) praying here is not a flash pray before starting activities like simply saying “In the name of The Gracious and The Merciful” but praying is around 5-10 minutes protocol that is normally done by fellow Muslim.
Group #1 (religious friends, they can pray “forever”, wow!): Pray first. It is more important than anything including eating. We should prioritise God who has given us everything, others can wait. Don’t make God jealous.
Group #2 (rascals, will let you pray while they start eating): Eat first. God won’t force you to pray when you are hungry. Better you eat remembering that you will pray rather than you pray and your thought is wandering around all kinds of food.
Group #3 (clown, bitter that makes all chatters jokers): Don’t ask me, I am fasting everyday because of having no food at all and so I don’t pray because I have nothing to thank for.
Group #4 (good jugglers, like Group #3 but to the next level): Why so picky? Can’t we do both at the same time? You can choose at the mosque or in the restaurant!
Some jokes are actually dead serious that the way people respond can either be considered as intelligence or harassment or abuse rather than as just fun. Yet I share mine as part of showing how religious comedy exists among Javanese Muslims (there are way more that I will never share publicly to avoid misunderstanding and misinterpretation); no harassment or abuse whatsoever. I even see philosophy in many if not all jokes. 😝
Ah! Life is so rich, why feel no good just because of one point of view?
Salaam.
About Masjid Sultan or Sultan Mosque
About Wardah Books
About ICHIKOKUDO
A stroke of a brush is how universe started. A surprise that lasts—
—
Certain friend is good at the same time destroyer of mood. I have one who can leave me“ouch ouch ouch oooouuuuch” for at least one week. This person loves ouching friends as an ice breaker but to some of us he has made it to the next level. This time he ouched me romantically, the worst of all my ouch experience from him. Call one “ouch caller”.
OC: Ready for a forced holiday? Have fun! Don’t work every night, just every two nights.
Me: (1st ouch) Hmmm ok, Sir.
…. Blah blah blah
OC: How is your romance? Get rid of him. He doesn’t even care about you. Don’t be stupid. You are not a door mat.
Me: (2nd ouch)
OC: What type of man do you want? Am I not good enough?
Me: (3rd ouch, but I have to say something) Hey, hey! Not a good time to talk about romance. Painting here and don’t want to lose vibe in the head.
OC: Tell me then. Handsome? Healthy? Rich? Hard working? I… Am… Everything!
Me: (Laughing like crazy as this person was very right about himself) Are you a sales person of your own product?
OC: Yes! And I’ve been selling my quality to you for the past how long with no buy in. You’re getting older and older.
Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH) Ok, ok. I have to explain. I want someone whom I can be comfortable being with even when both of us don’t like the same things. Can you, Mr Cruel Oucher?
OC: What! Of course not! When I go to party, you have to go to party with me. When I go to the gym, you have to go with me. When I cook, you have to cook all what I want. Blah blah blah…. You have to do what I like to do! If necessary you should give up what you like to like what I like.
Me: (Still couldn’t stop laughing) You are not. You are not that right person. You are just my ouch person.
OC: Is he still that person?
Me: Yes.
The next is the most ouched one but probably the most accurate to describe a fact.
OC: Then you have thin hope, thin chance. Not compatible. You don’t even know how to party. You don’t even know how to drink except that weak wine. You don’t even know how to flirt. He might not like reading. He might not like art and literature and walking. He might not like biking. He might hate you singing. He might hate you writing. He might hate you touching your hair again and again. You are not his physical type of beauty. He might hate you with your job. He might hate you being honest and independent. He just doesn’t like you as you. Oh! So relief I could say all these finally.
Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH OOOOUUUUCH and this will last long) You’re right. Very right. Time to stop your ouches, Sir.
OC: Then you still say no to me?
Me: (Mild ouch but I got impatient) You? I can’t tolerate a die hard nerd like you. You cook better than women. You manage money too well; you are stingy! You love your nephews and nieces more than anyone else, you won’t care about me. You work too hard. You eat too much healthy food, I love deep fried. You ouch people too much. Listen. Don’t call me just to ouch me.
OC: Ok, ok. How are you?
Me: Fine.
OC: Broken heart still?
Me: (ouch) Not really, just a bruise and scratch. Will get over it soon.
OC: It will be gone. For you not too soon though because you are not intelligent in romance. Be patient with yourself. (He was calming and that is when everyone likes him, a calm nice guy — unfortunately came too late after too many ouches happened.) Describe how you think about that person and let’s start the real conversation of today.
Me: My universe
OC: I want to throw up! You imagine him as a Chris Martin? Hahaha!
Me: Never heard of him singing hahaha!
Then we started to chat without ouches for almost two hours — a very nice two hours. A good friend to me is that who ouches me but still makes me comfortable with her/his genuineness.
Thank you! 🤝
Disclaimer: blogged with this ouch caller’s consent with one condition “no exaggeration” which is not accepted like he never said “I want to throw up” and never said that he is handsome and rich although he is rich but not handsome 😊
See this pendulum
Swinging between two far poles
Knowing each other—
—
Someone called me and asked if we could have a dinner. We hadn’t met for many years. Knowing this person was in Singapore, I excitedly agreed to meet. Meeting this person, I was given a shock. This person looked weary and older than one’s age. The excellent appearance and posture was totally gone. That time I felt so blessed for for being me.
Me: I am not a marriage advisor, dear. Not even ever married yet! (That’s after a very long ranting from the friend stopped).
SO: But I know you are the most suitable one I can talk to.
Me: Oh…. (damn wrong, whispered to myself)
SO: …. A broken marriage… !@#$%^&*()_+=-::’<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Oh…. (proven wrong talking to me, whispered to myself)
SO: …. Divorce is painful…. !@#$%^&*()_+=-::’<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Oh…. Ummm (starting to show sympathy) I understand how you feel in this situation. Must be painful. Your own stress, the other one’s stress, your children, other people’s impression and words about you, your work….. Everything seems not at your side. I can understand you feel unwanted, useless, bad, irresponsible. Yet decision was made. You just should face it. How? Not sure if my word is reasonable and responsible but I think you just need to keep being you: working as before, doing activities that are still accessible, talking to your children like before, talking to your ex about the children….
SO: You don’t know! It is not that easy!
Me: Oh…. I am so sorry. I might not fully understand it is not that easy. I am so sorry for my ignorance. (told ya I am not the right person, whispered to myself)
SO: How would you survive alone all this time? You seem so happy with your life. Sometimes I regret for getting married too young. Look at you and X and Y and Z. All the singles are happy.
Me: (Oh! A sudden death! I know this would come but too soon, too soon. Let me find the right words. Whispered again to myself ) Ummm…. I think it is not that easy too…. Ummm…. I am happy, yes. Not always, but most of the time I am. Yet I also probably started hard.
SO: You don’t seem ever in hard time.
Me: That’s what you see. !@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&%%%%%%%%%%%%%.
SO: So do you think I can survive?
Me: Of course. Although our problem is not the same, I am sure you can. Don’t underestimate your ability to cope with the hardship of life. You are stronger than you think. You just don’t know it yet.
SO: You really don’t want to get married?
Me: (This question I never like, never like, never like; whispered to myself, but need to find the best words that won’t cause any further question.) This is out of context; you should not ask me this question. Not that I don’t want. It’s just about time.
SO: Do you fall in love?
Me: Ok, now you are asking me question about me.
SO: I feel good when knowing I am not alone.
Me: (Make sense, but why me oh my God!) Ok. Ok. I can make you feel better. Yes I fall in love and break my heart. And I don’t want to break my heart again.
SO: So you don’t want to fall in love again?
Me: Of course not like that. I fall in love again and again.
SO: With whom?
Me: With my eyes. With my lips. With my hair. With my morning. With my job. With my…. (I saw the person got annoyed but I continued with more things) Hahaha….
SO: Is it that easy?
Me: Nothing is easy automatically. It takes practice and time.
SO: What if I don’t get married again in the future?
Me: That’s too far away. Think about what you can do today.
SO: Do you think I still have a chance to get married?
Me: Of course if you want! Just find the right person.
SO: How can I find it? How?
Me: (Oh my God, help me before I can help others. Whispered to myself while finding the best words for this troubled person; even an intelligent person can be as dumb as this in one’s bad time) Hey, hey! If I know how to get the right person, I would have been married much earlier. This question is irrelevant.
SO: Hahaha……! Sorry, sorry! Hahaha……..!
Me: (Ok, at least I made you happy, whispered to myself. Mostly smiling among listening to the ranting, I enjoyed a perfect night — no rain, enough breeze…. Hours can feel like minutes…. On and on and on and on until midnight. Whispered to myself.) Cinderella has to go home, my friend. Or else, she will be back to be Cendrillon.
SO: I feel so much better. It feels like I find myself again. Maybe I was too preoccupied with not important things that I thought I lost the person I had known so long, myself.
Me: I might be like that in the same situation, maybe worse.
SO: Thank you very much.
Me: (I didn’t do anything. Just sat down and listened and responded to you. Whispered to myself for how many times heaven knows) The least I can do. It is good to meet long lost friend. Welcome back.
Dear friend, I know you’ll read this with a smile. Get better. See you some day. When meeting me again, make sure you look nicer.
Lesson learnt: Be patient with those facing fresh-from-the-oven problem. Don’t judge. Be a good listener. Don’t try to be a perfect advisor because you are not. Be yourself. Don’t get offended, someone in trouble may unintentionally disturb you.
Life is a quarter
With many doors to access.
Ever rendezvous—
—
rike jokanan 
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