Happy Journey

Birthday, Beloved,
One step closer to the gate
To a rendezvous

———————————————————-

It’s my mother’s 77th birthday and she looked so happy when I called through my little brother’s phone. A happy day for all of us finding that she’s still happy and healthy in this age.

She’s a lady of the house. She’s respected by family and neighbours because of her kindness. She’s cheated though by the greed. She’s loved by her children at the same time official enemy of all of them at certain time. I personally have a shade of rivalry against her, she did envy me how I would be closed with and always got constant support from my father. 😂

My friends want to be like her but I don’t. I don’t want to be like her because her life was too tough. She was born in a period of war, raised mostly without a father and be given a lot of ups and downs in her personal journey. Lucky that she was married to a humble, kind, hard working man and they became one of the best couples in our humble world.

Happy birthday, Ibu. I wish you happiness. 💝 Long happy life! See you at our dining table on your 78th birthday. 😘😘😘😘😘😘

Lots of love as always,

Your daughter (stubborn yet sweet) 😊

this is yours, Ibu
this is mine!!!

Light Weekend

This heart is a pot
With seed buried in its dark,
Growing to the light.

————————————————————

Always believe in the beauty of human’s heart. The darkest of it there is still a dot of light that will brighten one’s life! There must be at least one tiny dot of light.

Believe it. Run free like Bambi playing in peaceful woods.

Enjoy this blessed weekend! Take all light, as light as feather

🐣

Salaam….

Incredibly Dreamy

Dream is more than true.
It’s alive in different world.
Sail, Dream. Sail to me.

—————————————————

If you’ve got dreams, never kill them no matter how impossible they look, with one condition: they should be good dreams that don’t harm other creatures. Live with the dreams. Ship them to reality with all whispers and prays.

Dreams are standing in queue, waiting for the door to open up to them.

Just like my biryani!

I don’t mind throwing up biryani today. 😁

Salaam….

ya Allah, enak banget! 😂💝
💝
pressure cooker is needed for next cooking 😁
regret of not including the bone! next time better
I love this one! So fragrant and glazed 🥰
boiled basmati rice with some cinnamon bark and Indian bay leaves – I shouldn’t have put the saffron at this stage 🥰
a bit too much yoghurt in, next time better 🥰
herbs and spices, one was left not taken picture the garan masala
basmati rice

Sprung

There’s a renewal;
Flowery, fruitage, once more.
Enlightened each day—

————————-————————

Life is like farming. A farmer only sows good seeds, waters the plant, weeds the grass in the field or garden, prunes the leaves or does other things simply to farm.

Whether or not flowers and fruit will appear, it is not in the farmer’s hand.

Remember, dear farmer. Do your best. Not because you want flowers and fruits but because that’s what you can and should do as a farmer.

Hey, maybe learning a little more about seasons and seasoning. The first is for you to manage the farm, the other is for you to make your life tastier.

Salaam…. 💝

I’ll take care of you, no matter what. I’m your farmer.

Trust

Cool breeze sweeps dry leaves,
Branches stretch to where Wind blows.
Where do you go, Wind?

————————————————————

How can I ignore my own silence? How can I listen to the noise more? It is tiring to leave my own self behind, I’m doing it though. I haven’t trusted my self. 🙃

This mind acts like dry leaves, scrambling frantically just because of cool breeze. Sometimes it moves lazily in panic pulled by strong wind, changing directions every now and then. Lightly and heavily moving because of doubt and fear of failure—

Trust is what can help. Trust that there is a net catching me when I free fall. Trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel although I haven’t seen it yet. Trust that I’m in process, not lost.

Trust is a light word, weighing as heavy as an unmovable mountain.

May all beings be happy. 💝

Shape A Good Heart

Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—

————————————————————

Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though

With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.

Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam….

where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝

Memory

Freshness, Beloved,
Breathing in and out the air
Loaded with blessings—

————————————————————

Beautiful memory is as fresh as tropical fruits.

Define beautiful! That drawing a smile on a face, like you….

Define fresh! That popping up when soul arrives from travel in the morning, like you….

May all beings be happy.

tropical fruits of the week 💝

Walking The Dark

Value, Beloved,
Not only talked; also walked—
White cane of the blind

———————————————————

One teacher said talking and walking the value consistently is one of the safest way of life. Challenging though especially where many are unknown or unfamiliar—

Yet it takes integrity to stay in a value.

“Hey! What about economical value? Political value?“ asked the students.

Teacher said,”When it is about taking advantage from others, we’d better not call it value.”

“What would you call it then?”

“Hmm…. I don’t know, whatever you call it as long as you don’t harm yourself and others.”

“Sometimes those who know don’t know….,” said one student whispering almost no voice.

“Some things just don’t have exact name. They are simply known and felt,”said the teacher in the heart smiling and walking ahead.

Aah! It takes a journey to be a student. It takes a journey to be a teacher. The same journey, different lessons 💝

Salaam…

keeping value as an ethical beacon in life

Who Is The Key

I want to want
I want to not want
I don’t want to want
I don’t want to not want

Which one am I now?

————————————————————

As long as I’m human being, I won’t be able to deny the want and not want. It’s not the verb, it’s the subject. A complication of thinking!

I don’t want to love you but I want to free myself to love one staying in the heart. That’s perfection!

In fact the struggle seems like a perfect circle when two ends collides: things don’t always happen as expected. Then what appears is that the simplicity of acceptance is above perception.

Simplicity is the crown of perfection. 💝

Alhamdulillah….

just do things right – when you’re angry, be angry but just do it right

Wonderland

Good vibes, Beloved,
Contagious and precious
Keep it the longest.

—————————————————————————————————-

Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”

Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..

Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.

More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!

All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!

God bless my dear Indonesia and what’s in it. 💝

Quests

Dogma, Beloved,
The least she can hold in life.
She is full of quests.

————————————————————

What human beings should think of being sick is it is a tool materialised by Life to make them stop or at least slow down especially from analysing every single thing. Yet human beings often forget that blessing should not be always gift-wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons; it might be sometimes humbly bundled in a sack.

Blimey! Why do I have so many sacks? And poorly unable to untie them successfully 😎

May all beings be happy.

a pile of ugly sacks; filled with all the richness of nature

No Secret

Secret, Beloved
Ice cube waiting for warm touch—
Melts and flows: a stream
Of messages from the heart.
Read or heard of. Clean and clear—

———————————————————

No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.

Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.

Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.

As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.

May all beings be happy.

that year, when a cold caught a cold

Am I Free

I’m a torch no more.
I’m a morning for my day
To be. Am I free?

————————————————————

Just one click! Then the monitor shows something brighter and full of hopes! Vast ocean of happiness—

Why is it so blocked to be optimistic? Take a mirror, unlock just one sweet smile, look into the smiling face more deeply a little bit longer and know why…. Dear, Love. Just one click!

May all beings be happy.

Listening Class

Listen to the rants
Of those needing some ears. Who?
Maybe your own self—

I need fresh air and different taste today! Pretty hot day and my bike really needs long rest. So I decided to book a taxi to Bussorah Street. Why not MRT? Today the automatic-smile-to-people apps of mine broke down and my ears needed some entertainment from random drivers who -if you are lucky or unlucky depending on how you perceive it- will tell a lot of stories about the Gov, the people, etc.

And Universe answered! The driver was perfectly being upset with a passenger that scolded at him because the passenger thought he made a longer journey and so the passenger had to pay $16 instead of $9.

“Walao! He think such distance can ah with only $9? If he live in Sentausa, he sure got money whaaaaat?! And if always take taxi, he sure know it is at least $15!”

“He think because he is foreigner he ok do what he like haaaaaah?!”

“You know he said “f***ing ***hole” to me ! He think he got right say that to driver! This is first time I complain to my office about my passenger you know. Usually I don’t care la people bitter or not smile or not talk but this guy ah scolding ah you think ok ah?”

Oops! If that was really the words said to the driver, that was rude!

He ranted more…. actually the whole trip I was all ears for him. Thanks God for my patience today.

“You probably need some coffee, Sir,” said I.

“Ya la. I so angry! I didn’t take passenger after him, straight to coffee shop to have coffee then took your order la. Still angry you know! My company already took my complaint. Maybe also need blacklisted passenger you know. People should not behave rude to drivers blah blah blah”.”

“You need to walk to the street. Cannot enter, not allowed one, you know right?”

“Oh, no worry, Sir. I know this area quite well. Let me walk. This is the fare, please take the change, for your noon coffee.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

I walked down the street to go to a small bookstore which sells books that I won’t find in Kinokuniya. This hidden gem among all those nice restaurants feels much more special in this pandemic. There are still many people but probably only 30% of normal days when tourists are swarming like alate around the light.

This was a nice day! I brought home some reading and good food!

Mission accomplished!

Time to listen to the Self!

Salaam

reading is like listening to self, you decipher your own intelligence through other’s writing

The Blessed Drupadi

Rolled dice, Beloved
Can cheat or give you luck. Choose
When to stop or lose.

Pandhawa Lima (5 brothers of Pandhawa) and the Kurawa (100 = 99 male and 1 female, all born from one time pregnancy), both were since childhood to maturity in a forever competition, rivalry and finally Kurusetra war!

I first read Mahabharata, Baratayudha when I was 10 years old. Comic series by R.A. Kosasih. I bet you’ll like them – unfortunately only in Bahasa Indonesia.

I always interpreted the rivalry between those two clans as a battle between good and evil. That everything happening between them was because Pandhawa wanted to eradicate evil, celebrated the good, wanted to make sure the kingdom was well governed, people were well protected with good welfare. Hmm…. I mean yes it was…. But is that the only angle to picture the stories? What was the cause of the war?

Until one day…. My brain was twisted and started to re-read between the lines. Since then I have agreed with those thinking that what Pandhawa had done was to fight for the right of one beloved woman, Drupadi. In Javanese culture Drupadi was the dear wife of Yudhistira (the oldest of the five) and the sister in law of the four (Bima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sadewa).

Drupadi was harassed by Dursasana in a betting party where Yudhistira let her the ultimate bet after he had spent everything the kingdom had in the game. Yudhistira was a highly respected king yet his weakness was one of them his liking to betting and gambling.

So, the epic war between the good Pandhawa and the evil Kurawa is to show how men respect and defend the women around them.

How would those who have read this epic story can’t see this significant line?!

I’m blessed to be a woman. And I hope someday I’ll be with a man who has the dignity to take a side of me when I have no one to defend, has the courage to respect a “weaker creature” when he has other options not to.

Happy International Women’s Day

It is not a one-day holiday or celebration, it is an everyday celebration to stay dignified and loving at the same time as a woman.

May all beings be happy.

Drupadi ceramic statue by F. Widayanto

Forgiveness

Anger, Beloved
Consumes hope, kills compassion, 
Drains the lake of love.
Know nothing is permanent.
She forgives all. Karma paid!

Everyone wants to be pleased, which is not wrong. One said that that is like throwing things to a bottomless hole, never ending craving for pleasure taken from others. It is ok to want to be pleased, but don’t suffer for not getting the pleasure that’s wanted.

Change the bottomless hole from a waste field to a mine; that way it would be found the precious experiences, appreciating what’s in and not focusing on what’s out.

Befriending with one’s self is the most challenging and at the same time most fun time. It is 24/7 for the rest of one’s life. Enjoy the ride.

Be kind to others but first of all be kind to yourself, Self.

Summary of a good chat with one best friend.


Short Spell Called Names

Name is a short spell. 
Not yours, Beloved. It’s mine
Hanging in Heaven, 
Echoing after yours called.
You can have it all.

How many names have you spelled in prayers? Are they the bold or the beautiful ones?

I call your name, Beloved ‘coz I know it infuses power into prayers like smoke of burnt incense billowing into the sky escorting dreams to meet the doors….

May all beings be happy….

Diamond

Loyalty: old-aged,
Mined, Rubbed, faceted carbon—
4C through life time.

Many women love diamond with different reasons. Some do because of its beauty. Some do because of its prestige. Some do because of following the trend. Some do just because of spending money on anything seen and wanted. Some do because of what it symbolises…. In fact its value has a wide spectrum like why we love someone.

Diamond is just a type of carbon. Carbon is what’s burnt to cook steak. Carbon is what’s chosen for media to grow orchids. Carbon is activated to be a medication for food poisoning. Or simply think of other things containing carbon!

Diamond though is a certain level of carbon which has been buried between layers of earth for millions of years, tested by the pressure, temperature. It’s hardened, purified, strengthened, crystalised.

4C is a familiar acronym for diamond lovers. These 4 C’s show diamond’s quality.

  • Cut: Quality of the angles, proportions, facets, and finishing details ~ level of craftsmanship and precision play important role
  • Color: How colorless the diamond is ~ less colour is the best but colour is at times defined by preference
  • Clarity: How clean the diamond is of inclusions and blemishes ~ the more flawless, the more valuable; but who is flawless, Beloved? The Death is flawless….
  • Carat: The weight of the diamond ~ small carat of diamond can look big; also determined by how the craftsman cuts it

Imagine a human being is a carbon processing one’s self to be a diamond. Stay regardless the pressure and temperature exposed to you, Self. Once you find you, you’re diamond in the making.

May all beings be happy.

useful link: https://www.bluenile.com

Still You, Just

You’re in the dark. Who?
What? Matter? Not! It’s still you.
Just some shade and light.

I’m never perfect, will never be as long as I live with and in this matter. There won’t be any absence of uncertainty. There is always a gap to bridge, a space in between, an emptiness after fulfilment…. Always between 0 and 1 – a binary system of wholeness I call it. Swinging like a pendulum from one point to another up to one extreme point before at the end of momentum thrown back to the next direction…..

Why would you stay in the day for 24 hours if you can stay cool in the dark for 12 hours after a long working day? Or the other way around with some reason?

Why would you mind missing someone for at least an hour a day if it can make this life more vibrant? Just don’t hate….

Why would you regret your broken heart as long as you don’t hurt anyone’s pride? Just don’t forget to love yourself….

No matter what and who you are some time of and in your life, you’re still you. Be you! Be more whole you every time…. A true you

May all beings be happy.

Remember Her

Relationship pattern changes over time and so does the way children relate with their parents. Although we are far away from each other, always remember the precious role of our parents especially mother. Oh anyway, I was closer to father. As he passed away, I become close to mother.

Dear Self, at least say hi through online chat or video call. Sending her the picture of our lunch would be a good sign that we are ok. Never let her worry about us, no matter what.