PENSI – Pentas Swara Indonesia

It’s just beautiful!

If young Indonesians don’t sing those songs, let them rot in hell. 🎼 At least three of those songs, guys! No worry about your out of tune — just sing! Or hum! Ok, sing in silence! 😩

🐣

Scenery, A Beauty That Prisons

Where are you, oh dear?
Mountains and oceans are passed
By with beauty glued
As memory. Beloved,
Where’s the next stop? Peek a boo!

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When I was young; I joined spiritual workshop, class, training; read spiritual books, journal, articles; listened to spiritual preaching, cassettes, radio programs; name more —mostly informal, some non-formal, one formal not finished oh I’m blessed that It wasn’t. Whenever I was asked why I did, I would say “I wanna know God.”

Hopeless popus!*

Has anyone experienced this looking-sophisticated-but-actually-comical thing? Thanks God (s/he’d like to be censored actually) I’m not alone in this zero to zigzagging journey— from being very excitedly curious to being a drunken master. 🤪

What a blessed journey it was!
If I’m supposed to tell that young me when starting through the reading of those looking-sophisticated-yet-actually-comical random materials, I would say “Hey, Lady Haha! You should have a map but a destination is paramount!”

And I still feel so blessed!

May all haha moments be deciphered. 😊

* refer to the video of “How To Dad” in “How To Teach A Kid Curse Words”.

a pinch of salt to my life, no pepper though

Millions of Dreams

Where to go? Let’s go!
River never knows but flows.
This is estuary,
Beloved, sea welcomes you.
Black to blue is true. Slow down....

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One of my best friends is flying to Bali this morning. She’ll live in her most favourite island for how long only Heaven knows.

We knew she has dreamt of living in Ubud without knowing how to materialise it as she’s a full time employee in Jakarta and her job requires her to sit in front of her computer for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Bali was just a holiday or weekend escapade that helps refresh before going back to the busy metropolis.

We had a 3-hour call last night, celebrating her flight to her paradise! She’s happy. I’m happy for her.

How can I not believe that this pandemic is a blessing? It has moved someone’s cubicle to her living room then to her mother’s home, and soon to a beautiful place where dreams have lingered for Heaven knows how long. I can imagine how serene and fun her productivity will be!

May all beings be happy.

Thumbs Up To The Young!

What about now, Love?
Now’s the time. Maybe no later—
Happiness can’t wait.

🐣

There is moment for every experience, there is expiry date for every life.

Young people, be vibrant, idealistic and fiery.

Grab the chance to be the agent of change! Change all the dead skin! Don’t change the sacred soul!

Young generation, you’re just gorgeous! Very much thankful to be young before and still feeling the vibe until now through all what I see in you!

I never regret of getting older every day ‘coz when I was young, I was on the side of those needing the loudest voice!

May all beings be happy. 💞

How Happy Are We

So you need to move
To be happy? Yes. Move to
Your kind heart. Stay. Smile.

———————————————

I had a group call with some good friends and we asked one favourite friend how she could be always light and calm even when she didn’t have enough materially.

Just as a description about her (with her consent): This kind, humble, strong, cheerful, a bit crazy lady is a widow with two children (both finished their education and are now working to support themselves). Her husband left her without anything for another woman. She works a lot of temporary jobs to survive. She lives in a very small rented house until now. She earns less than USD500 per month. She supports her brother who is physically impaired. Yet she is the one that we run to for advices, wisdom, consolation and she never complains to us, her friends.

She said “Maybe I was born to be happy, happier than all of you hahaha…. Let me put it this way. I’m light because my life is simple. I know I don’t have that much others have and that’s why my happiness measure isn’t the same with theirs. I don’t even think of what you think of to spend a holiday. I know you get upset when your food isn’t good; I think good food is about something edible, clean and filling, not about palate.

And I’m calm because I believe people appreciate me the way I am. Some people think too much about how they look and start behaving pretentiously. I’m not. This is me, carefree, open, comfortable with myself. And I don’t want to hurt others. People might not like it; I just need to be nice and stay away.”

“Are we your friends, Mbak?” We teased her.

“Stupid question! Yes! Because you appreciate me not with money but simply with friendship although you girls can look very ugly when very busy; annoying when very stressed! You just need to go back to this!” She put her right palm on her left upper chest where heart is.

This type of friend makes us real. One who appreciates others not through what is materially defined and knows that one one’s self is appreciated genuinely.

I don’t have to move to Finland or Denmark to be happy. Of course not with nothing. A good laugh and some chocolate (good chocolate I mean) should be the least. Honestly I still want to at least travel there! 🤪

May all beings be happy.

this is the video reminding me to our beloved friend – God bless the video maker/uploader! 💞

Heaven Is Where?

Where are you now, Love?
Home is around the corner.
Turn right and be there.

One of good friends sent her work of art, compiling her memories of Sulawesi trips into a sweet calling-home clip.

Thank you, Mbak Adek for reminding me that I’ve got home, a beautiful one. A beautiful home is a heaven on earth and in heart.

Home is where heaven is. Good friends make you realise that it’s real!

Salaam.

This video was produced by Adek Azhar. She is a cat lover, a happy mother and grandmother, a good friend, a crazy traveler, a senior journalist as best description of her. Can’t wait to travel with her after pandemic in our small group of awkward travelers! 💞

Colouring Days

Colours adorn day—
Connect it to a mood which
Is the token. Not?

Flowers can give positive vibes in the room and even in the house. Working from home takes more effort to stay vibrant as for at least 8 hours some employees won’t be in “real contact” with other human beings; online platform can’t fully accommodate the actual need of interaction among human beings.

One of my colleagues in China who has the same interest in flower with me sometimes sends pictures of her today’s flower display. Last week she sent white peony. She knows I really really really want to have peony, which isn’t available in Singapore.

To some ladies flower is a medicine, curing some disturbed moods.

May all beings be happy.

white peony
red rose three days ago
today’s displays to choose

Being Neighbours & Banana

What’s being neighbours?
Readily help and share with;
Willing to be, too—

My homebase starts materializing. Yay! It is in Yogyakarta, a small city that is socio-culturally integrated (different ethnic, religion and political groups are well blended), not so crowded and modern (sayonara, Jakarta!), with existing international airport, etc, etc, etc. And one most important thing is good friends are living there.

I always love to be and to have good and reliable neighbour(s). Those good friends will be my neighbours from whom I will get help and support when needed and who are willing to get helps and supports from me. They are not in the same housing complex but still in the same city.

For the past four days my menu has been all about banana. Banana for breakfast. Banana for lunch. Banana for dinner. Banana either cooked or just eaten not cooked. How much ever I felt bored with banana, I had to finish the banana because neighbours confirmed of not liking and wanting banana. Their expressions of “oh that banana?”, “banana hahaha”, “ummm banana but…” left a tiny puncture on my poverty pride. Maybe next time I’ll share gold or cash and see if the puncture moves to another point hahaha…

My “active neighbours” said to me it is not so common to share food with “any neighbours” nowadays. Or, they want to give but they don’t want to accept. Yes, yes, they are so right. I learnt another lesson about this people.

My so called “active neighbours” nowadays are the cleaning services and security guards with whom I can share food and wishes freely. Hey, hey I never share left over, all food is either cooked by me or packed from stores/restaurants purposefully for them. Respect to all my active neighbours. 🙏🏼

When I shared the pictures of those cooked banana in the Instagram and how much I’d love to share the banana (cooked or not cooked) with neighbours, my neighbours-will-be in Yogyakarta gave welcoming comments including they would love to share their cookings too, and that alone has made me confident of moving to that city and hopefully living comfortably there in the (not so near) future.

Sometimes I feel that I don’t belong to this place. Yet I know I have to be here for some time before leaving these things behind and enjoy being a human living side by side with others without other temporary identity; just being me, being human.

I know it will happen, not very soon; but it will happen. Now I am happy with this temporary identity and want to be a good neighbour for anyone who is willing to be my neighbour.

One more thing: I’ll grow banana in the future homebase and cook the best banana recipe and share it with neighbours there! 😂

May all beings be happy.

second day of cooked banana – the first day was banana cake but not so nice to take picture of, I also took my vitamin with un-cooked banana on those two days 😩
third day of banana; aside from this I took my vitamin with un-cooked banana and ate one after the main course at lunch
last batch of banana on fourth day; I also took my vitamin with an un-cooked banana and ate the last one un-cooked and celebrated my freedom from banana! 🤩

Loving Like Loving A Song

I want to love you
Like loving a song. It's free,
Everyone’s happy
Without jealousy, they sing
In joy.... While you’re still mine, Love—

What a luxury to love someone who’s been the favorite of many…. Sharing joy in silence….

Like this humble song from me to you…. A Javanese love song whose meaning is deep and joyful; filled with prayer and admiration to the beloved – whoever the beloved is meant by the singer.

Music is a beautiful wire connecting the hearts….

Enjoy.

Listening Class

Listen to the rants
Of those needing some ears. Who?
Maybe your own self—

I need fresh air and different taste today! Pretty hot day and my bike really needs long rest. So I decided to book a taxi to Bussorah Street. Why not MRT? Today the automatic-smile-to-people apps of mine broke down and my ears needed some entertainment from random drivers who -if you are lucky or unlucky depending on how you perceive it- will tell a lot of stories about the Gov, the people, etc.

And Universe answered! The driver was perfectly being upset with a passenger that scolded at him because the passenger thought he made a longer journey and so the passenger had to pay $16 instead of $9.

“Walao! He think such distance can ah with only $9? If he live in Sentausa, he sure got money whaaaaat?! And if always take taxi, he sure know it is at least $15!”

“He think because he is foreigner he ok do what he like haaaaaah?!”

“You know he said “f***ing ***hole” to me ! He think he got right say that to driver! This is first time I complain to my office about my passenger you know. Usually I don’t care la people bitter or not smile or not talk but this guy ah scolding ah you think ok ah?”

Oops! If that was really the words said to the driver, that was rude!

He ranted more…. actually the whole trip I was all ears for him. Thanks God for my patience today.

“You probably need some coffee, Sir,” said I.

“Ya la. I so angry! I didn’t take passenger after him, straight to coffee shop to have coffee then took your order la. Still angry you know! My company already took my complaint. Maybe also need blacklisted passenger you know. People should not behave rude to drivers blah blah blah”.”

“You need to walk to the street. Cannot enter, not allowed one, you know right?”

“Oh, no worry, Sir. I know this area quite well. Let me walk. This is the fare, please take the change, for your noon coffee.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

I walked down the street to go to a small bookstore which sells books that I won’t find in Kinokuniya. This hidden gem among all those nice restaurants feels much more special in this pandemic. There are still many people but probably only 30% of normal days when tourists are swarming like alate around the light.

This was a nice day! I brought home some reading and good food!

Mission accomplished!

Time to listen to the Self!

Salaam

reading is like listening to self, you decipher your own intelligence through other’s writing

From Tuas With Love On A Bike!

Tuas, the end point
Where the wheels will start gliding
On the road to home....

I’ll start traveling again! I will go by taxi to the visited site and go home by bike! It is about 34 kilometers! Can’t wait for tomorrow!

I’m speaking with all exclamation marks! 😁 So excited!

Beauty Is Nature – tanka

Beauty is Nature
Married to Culture. Others?
All failed engagement—
Yet you’ll find culture too shy
And wrapped in modernity.

Singapore – Jul. 3, 2020 / 0:48

I miss going someplace, any place where land is covered with nature mixed with friendly people….

May all beings be happy.

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Time’s Bringing Good Acts – haiku

Time’s bringing good acts.
Places add good vibes to it.
How I miss your peace.

Singapore – May 25, 2020 / 22:29

—-

I miss two places the most right now: Bali and Ayutthaya. Once this circuit breaker is exited, those two will be my destination.

May all beings be happy.

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Eros Shot A Heart – haiku

Eros shot a heart–

Unperceivedly wounded. Lo!

Aura’s given up.

Temasek – September 30, 2019 / 18:50


Discussed about Eros myth with my friends and found that his story evolved over time. At the early time he was just god of love and lust for everyone – EACH & EVERY ONE. Then he became the god the protector of gay male lovers. Kind of disappointing why he was changed orientation. The facts that he is a beautiful reality and we women shall not compete with more lovers from different sex are bitter, painful and kind of betraying. The competitive population added has made the chance of women’s victory drop to a very small part of pie.

Should I curse? No, I might be cursed back as discriminating.

Should I cherish? No way! I wouldn’t cherish a fact even the one I can take lessons from.

Eros, you are responsible for this. Hand me your bow and arrow. I’ll burn them before you continue your job. Oh, I probably shall flashback and kill Chaos, too. One more thing: and never let all men be born….

Koi Swim Happily – haiku

Koi swim happily.
A dreamer thinks hard just to
Hop on Yin and Yang.

Ubud – September 28, 2019 / 14:30


I am in Ubud, Bali this weekend. I met a friend who is always wise and fun. Among all she said there was one hitting me hard yet nicely “Dear, try one thing now: change your lunch every day. You’ve got the same things for years and you need to have some fun.”

Holy smoke!!! Yes! I’ve gotta leave my rice and try some mashed potato.

Welcome me, Macs Cafe….

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Weeping Ney – free verse

Ney….
Your song pulled me down in to the depth of abyss
Gliding with no weight,
Free falling –

Ney….
Your tone touched me on the hollow emptiness
Craving for sensations,
Crashing on nothingness.

Ney….
Your call dragged me along the path that I know well, yet
I am lonely and blind,
Waiting for a map.

Ney….
Do you know I’ve been here all my life,
My breath,
My step,
My tear,
My despair,
All of mine.

Ney….
You are the breeze that sweeps my draught
Then soars;
The dewdrop that breaks my morning
Then wakes up;
The spark that lights up my flame
Then burns.
The dirt that buries my hope
Then grows.

Ney….
It is you
That swirls like earth spiraled upwards by tornado,
And travels afar before it hits the door of heaven.

Ney….
I am taking your hands.
Your weeping cries will always accompany my journey
To you, Ney.

Phnom Pehn – August 2, 2019 – 22:45

Renovated – ranting

It is my 3rd visit to Ayutthaya. Three rounds, one hotel – just across a historical wat (temple) at the river bank.

In my first visit in 2017 the wat was clearly seen from my window. White with some unclear yet predictable patch of mould. Beautiful and grand.

The second visit just last August it was being renovated. Covered with green nets and perched by workmen, the wat looked surrendered and retreat.

Now, the renovation is going on. The wat is shiny and white like marble, maybe glazed with porcelain. Hopefully. Yet the green net is still there, workmen are still busy behind the net. Dogs are still barking there maybe shouting at visitors. I don’t even know if visitors are allowed during construction.

Ayutthaya, you don’t fail me.

Ayutthaya – Dec. 26, 2018 – 14:27

The Theophany of Perfection – Muhyiddin Ibn ‘Arabi

The Theophany of Perfection
Muhyiddin Ibn ‘Arabi

Listen, O dearly beloved!
I am the reality of the world, the centre of the circumference,
I am the parts and the whole.
I am the will established between Heaven and Earth,
I have created perception in you only in order to be the object of My Perception.
If then you perceive Me, you perceive yourself.
But you cannot perceive Me through yourself.
It is through My Eyes that you see Me and see yourself,
Through your eyes you cannot see Me.

Dearly beloved!
I have called you so often and you have not heard Me.
I have shown Myself to you so often and you have not seen Me.
I have made Myself fragrance so often, and you have not smelled Me,
Savorous food, and you have not tasted Me.
Why can you not reach Me through the object you touch
Or breathe Me through sweet perfumes?
Why do you not see Me? Why do you not hear Me?
Why? Why? Why?

For you My delights surpass all other delights,
And the pleasure I procure you surpasses all other pleasures.
For you I am preferable to all other good things,
I am Beauty, I am Grace.
Love Me, love Me alone.
Love yourself in Me, in Me alone.
Attach yourself to Me,
No one is more inward than I.
Others love you for their own sakes,
I love you for yourself.
And you, you flee from Me.

Dearly beloved!
You cannot treat Me fairly,
For if you approach Me,
It is because I have approached you.
I am nearer to you than yourself,
Than your soul, than your breath.
Who among creatures
Would treat you as I do?
I am jealous of you, over you,
I want you to belong to no other,
Not even to yourself.
Be Mine, be for Me as you are in Me,
Though you are not even aware of it.

Dearly beloved!
Let us go toward Union.
And if we find the road
That leads to separation,
We will destroy separation.
Let us go hand in hand.
Let us enter the presence of Truth.
Let It be our judge
And imprint Its seal upon our union
For ever.

 

Temasek – December 5, 2018 – 20:53 (when I’m sick)

Picture is borrowed from mezquita.html

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