Luxurious is tea,
Detaching from everyone
But not everything—

terima kasih, Abu Marlo beserta para guru di 499 episode Dialogue Positive – you are all blessed!


There’s a bow, my love
With which message travels down
On a boat of joy.

even with dusty glass the beauty is still captured well: is it the rainbow itself, the light, the eyes or the nervous system or the invincible invisible? 💕

About Us

Your face gleams in stars
I look up alone at night.

Your words shine with suns
I search in far galaxies.

Your heart sits so high,
It’s frozen. Should I leave now?
Said I to my heart.
A line of white clouds stop me.

These feet are stuck here
Standing on dewy grasses.

It’s almost morning.
Maybe you’ll wake up, I’ll see.

It’s a bird story
Finding a place called a home.
She thinks home is far.
It lies in her heart meadow.


Penang – Oct 5, 2022 / 04:56am

You Be Jack (ranting)

You be, Beloved,
Truly. You know not, I do.
One moment owns you.

A teacher said, “What’s the most important thing in your car?”

No one said anything but everyone had one’s answer popping around one’s head.

The teacher continued “How do you think about jack?”

Everyone laughed. One of them said, “Almost not functional.”

The teacher giggled and said, “Yes! Jack will work only in unexpected situation almost accidentally, might be never if there is no emergency. How do you feel if your existence in society is like a jack? And what will you do?”

No one said anything. Most of them felt denial, not wanting to be jack in a car.

The teacher smiled and said, “You know a jack is a jack because it is a jack. What a jack needs to do is being a good jack. A good jack is a jack that can function well. Function well when needed! Anytime needed! What if a jack feels desperate of being a jack just because the jack is never used? The jack will give up functioning. The jack may let itself corroded, lose its credibility and accountability. One day the car needs a new tire in the middle of nowhere, jack doesn’t function, it doesn’t do its job, it lets the car stranded nowhere until another car with a functional jack comes by….”

No voice….

The teacher said, “So whatever your function now in society, function well, perform your best, as that is some part of the true you. Everyone has one’s own moment. If you think you’ve been a jack in a car, don’t stop functioning because someday you might be needed and you alone are needed and that’s when you become a super hero. Or if you ever be a jack that is never used, at least someday the owner will say ‘I never use this jack but it is a super jack, I’m sure it functions well anytime I need it’. Ok, Jack?”

Everyone laughed, feeling relieved of having been a jack in different moment.

One student said, “What about if no one knows I’m a good jack because I never meet a moment?”

The teacher smiled and said, “So what? That no one knows we are good at something doesn’t mean we are not good. Why is jack mostly painted red?”

“To be easily found!”

“Yessssss!” Shouted the teacher. “Might not be the best answer but it can be one best answer to answer your friend’s question. Where is red? You still call it red without knowing why it is called red. You still call it red although you don’t realise the existence of red except painted on a jack in this context. You said jack is red so it can be easily found. No one knows what is actually red but all of you know that red is good in jack that functions only in emergency so when needed it is easily found….. That is red— a quality in you that is taken for granted because people think a jack is mostly painted red; only when people think deeply then the quality is a good quality! Don’t cover your red jack with other thing, it won’t be easily found anymore.”

“Like him!” A student pointed his finger to a friend in a red shirt sleeping in the classroom.

The teacher said, “Don’t wake him up. He is a jack in a good ride.”

Everyone laughed. The boy in the red shirt woke up and joined the cheer with his loudest laugher.

“He is a jack functioning well!“ said the teacher.

How beautiful the life of a jack is! 😁

(based on a conversation with a jack of all trades and other jacks who are waiting for the moment to appear)

Brewed Tea

Brewed tea, Beloved,
Best sipped anytime with you
While counting the stars—

Certain music composition like good friends is like well brewed tea, suitable for any occasion.

this composition never fails played any time
live music is one best medicine – missing the feeling of standing among the crowd screaming when favourite musicians or singers greet the fans 🥰

Clear Sky (ranting)

Clear sky, Beloved,
Calm blue where clouds swim, birds fly
Under the warm sun—

Javanese live their life with meaning and that makes them “effortlessly” survive even in the hardest time. They pin meaning to everything they experience. I believe Javanese are naturally philosophers whose communal humble life is richly loaded with wisdom; unfortunately fading away by the time.

Meanings easily recognised by most Javanese are those pinned to batik method and patterns. Historically batik patterns were works of art composed by either scholars from padepokan (ashram in Sanskrit) or the royals (king, queen, prince, princess or royal artists). In fact, there were few batik patterns created by commoners such as batik nitik and batik kawungKawung is one of the oldest original patterns of Javanese batik which has existed since 12th century. Nitik was born younger, approximately in 19th century.

Fun fact about Javanese king: aside from courses of political knowledge, leadership, palace management etc, long time before his coronation a Javanese crown prince must completely compose 3 works of art and publicly present them to the board of senior royals then announced the art pieces to people in the kingdom. Those three are batik pattern whose batik is handmade by him, tembang/kidung (sacred Javanese song) sung by him; and bedhaya dance trained to the dancers by him (a solemn Javanese dance performed by a group of dancers).

While batik nitik was initially created as secret codes by commoners to circulate among them classified information kept hidden from unjust aristocrats at that time or from the enemies (some historians said though this pattern was composed by the royals); kawung was allegedly created by a mother to dress her son who was instructed by the king to join his exclusive team due to his outstanding skill of espionage and balanced state of mind (again the historians said this pattern was composed by the royals). The said mother made a sheet of kawung pattern for him before he left as a prayer that her son could keep his current quality even after he later lived among (socially, politically, professionally) higher rank people.

kawung aka kolang-kaling, two seeds, four half-chambers (from Pinterest)

Kawung is the Javanese word of sugar palm (kolang-kaling). The symmetrical four half chambers in a fruit are used to symbolise balanced state among physical, mental, intellectual and spiritual. The clear colour of the seed is borrowed to symbolise clarity: of conscious mind, of conscious decisions, of intension, of purpose and of actions.

People also relate the word kawung to suwung that can mean emptiness: in this matter suwung is more about self alignment, absence of sense-driven wanting. A person in this suwung state in positive interpretation means someone who is already free from his/her craving for worldly interests, s/he is able to calmly and consciously prioritise among physical, mental, intellectual and spiritual proportions with no doubt or confusion. S/he is in high level of awareness of a “perfect” human being.

In Java region that kind of person is not necessarily a saint or a priest or a bikhu(ni) or a nun; s/he might be a farmer, a batik maker, a herbal seller, a taxi driver, an employee, a housewife, a leader etc, just whoever is willing to self align through what they do everyday regardless their professions. Not a few of them were “bad” people hearing the inner calling, deciding to quit their wrong doings and living “new” life.

At younger age, I met more of that type around us in my hometown. Now fewer and fewer people are interested to achieve that level because life pace is now becoming faster with the “tsunami of information” and life needs are “forcing” people to be constantly in alert mode with the high competition to “survive certain life style”. 

Not much I can do this time. I try to breath more slowly, pay attention on shift of emotions through body reaction (my body will never betray me) then acknowledge the emotion whatever it is. Time flies like a wind sometimes like a storm, I choose to ride it, not to get dragged by it. Not easy but doable.

How light this head is after ranting! 

batik kawung beton crafted by Mbak Arifah (25 yo), a mute-deaf female who never goes to school but is able to write and read – thank you, Mbak Arifah
primissima cotton, 250*106cm, two sided
Fun fact about the honourable batik makers:
- Once a batik maker pulls the “canting” filled with hot wax on a sheet of fabric, it will start developing lines or dots as the hot wax gets dry fast and block the fabric. That is why they work very carefully to avoid unplanned error. Correcting unplanned error is more tedious in batik making process compared to drawing the patterns with canting. Zero accident policy applies.
- Batik making is a highly contemplative activity (almost) like meditation. That is what makes many of batik makers especially those senior and/or with high quality artisanal works have good self alignment.
- Some batik makers don’t need to draw the planned pattern with pencil on the fabric. They are the highly skilled, the artist, the master of what they are doing.
- It takes approximately 5 months to complete a piece of two sided hand-made batik of 210-250cm long. Those batik makers also do household chores in between their batik making activities as they mostly don’t earn good money. If you buy hand made batik, please give extra dollars to share some comfort.
- Majority of batik makers are female. Very few of them are young.
at workshop (from Pinterest)
at home (from Pinterest)


Imperfection, Love:
Perfection on the way. Back
To imperfection.

Perfection, Beloved,
Imperfection on the way.
Back to perfection.

No one is perfect as everyone is imperfection in perfect cycles.

How perfect you are, don’t boast. You are simply “rotten body in progress”. How imperfect you are, wise up. You are the soul “shining in progress”. Your body is deteriorating, your soul is rising.


Only if you are willing to slow down.

Enjoy the rest of this weekend!


Rawon set is Eastern Java’s specialty, perfect for weekend before all the home cleaning and ironing and this and that blahblahblah 🥰
the salted egg makes it perfect for those liking extra condiment 👍🏽 oh my it was a torture to this tongue 😌
mix all! lime was needed, a missing condiment this time 🙃
should be a bit longer, tonight is the perfect time
spring onion is the last to plunge in 🥰
beef in
keluwak (black nut), kefir lime leaves, Javanese bay leaves, garlic, shallots, coriander, pepper, galangal, lemongrass

Silk Road

Silk road, Beloved,
A bumpy road to a heart
Laughing at a joke—

In a silk shop in Hanoi a conversation happened.

Me: (silently questioning whether the silk offered was truly silk from Dalat or “silk” from somewhere in China)

Shopkeeper: How do you like it, Madam?

Me: I love it. But to help me make decision, would you mind answering my question? I hope this won’t offend you.

Shopkeeper: Certainly, Madam.

Me: Is this silk truly from Dalat?

Shopkeeper: Yes, Madam. It is from Dalat, my parents’ hometown. Why, Madam?

Me: Not from China?

Shopkeeper: (laughing) We received the same question from another customer before. I am not surprised. Trust me it is Vietnamese silk, not Chinese product…. (She made a joke about “silk” then continued her long explanation of silk industry in Vietnam and her family business history and brought some samples of old silk that had been kept since her grand grand parents started production.)

She was able to convince me relatively well and my decision was buying one pretty white piece. White silk won’t go wrong to attend my nephew’s wedding in December! 🥰

May all beings be happy.

written history is a frame, what’s inside can be anything the writer wants to put in – unfortunately some true thing is not in the frame 😎

True Message

Thunders, Beloved,
Not sign of rain, but lightning—
Know their true message.

Some messages are exactly like how people play “karambol” (carrom board in English), the player may strike one disk to target another disk. The message is as if for A but actually for B. Or the message is like this but actually that.

Don’t get fooled, dear self.

Welcome, new week full of true messages. 😘

May all beings be happy.

believe true message, only when it’s voiced 🙏🏼


Cluttered, Beloved,
Storing unprocessed info
Too much. Declutter!

I love jewelry and used to love purchasing them not because of its value but more because of sentiment to its historical, cultural or spiritual loads. And that was lots of money (to me, not to others who have millions and millions of dollars). My close friends and my mother repeatedly ranted and nagged to me to buy gold than those “meaningless” jewelry. Did I listen? Of course nooooooot!!!

Until one day I realised that those things are a fantasy in a hoarder’s spirit of mine. And so I decided to stop buying things if not helping me work/study better or making this journey lighter.

I should be decluttering more and more and giving more space to moving energy. My home should be filled with more expressive sweet love than with unprocessed memories. Unprocessed memories = info that is never escalated into knowledge then insight then wisdom = rubbish!

Dear Life, please let me be with you longer so that I can unlearn more and more wisely, embrace your true meaning more and more clearly and give meaning to you more and more sweetly.

*breathing for a while for the next task of today’s decluttering*

silver “Phaistos Disc” pendant bought in Musee de Louvre, loved it so much for its historical symbol but only worn twice – lesson learnt!
how many of these silver bracelets and bangles bought just because I was charmed by the meaning of the (new design) charms & dangling then I had to go to doctor because of allergic to the metal, finally just given away or stored for years – how stupid!

and other rubbish – give away or throw away!

the clutter is only allowed for kitchen before cooking for family and friends and…. (pic from Pinterest)
….. garden (pic from Pinterest)

Sweet Welcome

Welcome, Beloved.
Home is where gifts are opened,
Flowers are blooming.

Welcome home! said they. 💝

3 waiting for 1 week and still in tact like what the couriers’ pictures sent 🥰
new bud in the bathroom 🥰
1 more tiny in the bathroom gang
3 new stems of buds from balcony gang 🥰


Wasted, Beloved,
None. In life all’s by design
With scales and measures.

Good morning, Saturday. Thanks for opening the weekend gate. I’m flying back home soon; can’t wait for the sweet surprises!

Salaam. 🙏🏼

not wasted, just not wanted – didn’t eat the yolk not because of health reason but because it was runny, I should have asked if it was hard boiled – in life consciously decide what’s wanted as the Designer is kindly and intelligently making wishes come true in precision and details 🙏🏼

Feel Good

Feel good, Beloved,
No matter what. Stars still shine.
Moon and earth still spin.

Why are you nervous, my dear? Romance is within reach, just between breathing in and breathing out. Stars, moon and earth give you so much attention while you are ignoring them. They have done their jobs; you should do yours if you think it feels good.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam. 💝

one of 10 recommended pho in Hanoi, good recommendation found through Google search
yes! worth strolling from the hotel in Ly Thai To street to the stall in Ly Quoc Su street 💝 just made the feel good so good!

A Guest

A guest, Beloved,
Makes host happy yet confused.
Smile sweet and thank, too.

I’ve met hosts with different types of personality or characteristics. When the host is a person, it’s just about that particular person. When the host is a company, it shows me the company culture or local culture.

I’ve got a few “cute” treatment from some hosts.

One company in Koka was informed that I’m a Muslim. My colleague told them “Rike eats halal, please find the food source from now.” They didn’t clarify to me and just followed that pranking colleague blindly. And in my 3-day visit they fed me halal food they ordered online and had to be delivered long trip to that remote area.

“Is it good, Rike-san?” The host asked me on the last day.

“Do you expect honest or polite answer?” said I laughing.

“Be honest please ha ha…”

“I tried NN-san’s food from your canteen. I love your food much much better. This online food tasted good but didn’t taste fresh.” It was impolite like hell for most Japanese host I guess. 😂

“Our canteen food is not halal. I’m sorry about the online food.” He must have wanted to commit suicide after that. 😁

Then I started preaching what halal meant to me. And they said they would not order the halal food for me anymore and give me their canteen food the following years. 😂

delivered from Kanagawa 🙏🏼

The second was one company knowing I’m a Muslim as informed by the branch in Malaysia. So they knew I pray although they never knew I only pray when wanting to.

So they brought me to a small room to do afternoon prayer. I asked if they have Muslim employees so they had the room, they said it was prepared for me. They moved out table, chairs and other cultural ornaments. 🙇🏻‍♀️

The first day I prayed, the other days they asked if I would pray. I said no. Then again I preached what type of Muslim I was and they nodded heads looking confused— they might think how would a human being can be this obedient yet disobedient to her God.

prayed in the prayer room specially prepared for me one day then chanting the same prayer in this shrine another day; God isn’t discriminating 😍

The third is also about being a Muslim. I came with 6 other people for 2 days and the company gave me fruit salad while giving nice beef/chicken/pork, egg, vegetable, rice lunch to others. They said they only had salad as halal food and no restaurant near the industrial area cooks halal and non halal food separately.

My colleagues explained that I could eat this and that but “not pork only”. So the next day they provided my favourite Vietnam spring roll with “vegetable and pork” not “pork only”. I left the lunch box untouched and went back to the yummy salad. I’ll come back next year, please give me pho. 😁

special salad for me – thank yow!!! 😘😘😘

Some people are so naive not knowing what to do and deciding to do their bestest best to respect the guests. God bless them.

I enjoy being a (not so good) Muslim. Misunderstood but still well treated by those willing to respect others. God bless you! 💝


a cute torii in Minakuchichohinokigaoka (damn not easy to read and write)

Sweet Surprise

Unforeseen, unplanned—
Life’s rich: men, events, chances
Bring moments of truth.

This evening I met up with two Saigonese friends— not planned, not predicted. We sent each other messages and found that we three were in Hanoi and decided to have dinner together.

OP’s coffee with milk, LP’s coconut coffee, my black coffee 🥰

His message to me: “I’ll pick you up once you’re prepared”. Her message to me: “Let me know when you arrive at hotel, I’ll kidnap you”. And they both came in the same taxi with different intension. 😁

For years we have always wanted to meet in Ho Chi Minh City to eat south pho bo and life preferred pulling us together in Hanoi for north pho bo.

Hanoi pho – sweeter, no ngogai leaves (Javanese coriander) and slightly murky, good especially enjoyed with friends 😍

A happy rendezvous! All was good. The only minus was that I had much noodle as part of dinner. 🙃 See you in HCMC!

I hope to get other sweet surprises. Or at least I commit to feel good no matter what so any surprises will be sweet.


sweet surprise story shared to me: he was a medical doctor before a major accident that took away some of his physical ability and his job; now he is a part time historian bringing tourists to historical places in Hanoi in the evening and a full time employee in a pharmaceutical company in the day; recently he escorted a surgeon with his wife doing social work in Vietnam who happens to be in the same project with a Vietnamese surgeon who happens to be this historian’s roommate in medical school years ago; long story short what life brings is often unpredictable, hope for the best! 🙏🏼


Breathing, Beloved,
Dive with it slowly, knowing
It can blaze and burn.

So much swarmed in mind today. This brain was so busy processing unclear things that it could not process what truly happened within. All dots of thoughts felt like molecules bumping with and crashing each other in Brownian motion. The internal Brownian motion expanded externally and bad mood caused physical discomfort.

For around 12 hours the bad mood and physical discomfort was densely lingering. Reading, cooking, eating, drawing, writing, washing, watching YouTube, listening music, checking suitcase for next trip, taking shower, even sleeping didn’t help stabilise the emotion. Alamak I didn’t understand what was going on.

At dusk time I took a seat in one bedroom corner, closed eyes and paid attention to breathing. Very fast— it was not my normal breathing speed. Then trapped emotions were found: unexplainable insecurity and anger. After around 30 minutes normalising my breathing speed, the bad mood was totally gone.

I’m sorry for ignoring you, breathing. It can’t be denied that my physical has given me signs of what happened inside. This physical has always reminded me about what emotions are dominating. The dominating emotion indicates what energy is attracted — positive or negative. Don’t ignore signs given by body; not even once!

Lesson learnt: Some dominating stuffs don’t deserve priority. Severe weather, bitter messages, false news —even if affecting me— deserve to be smacked down! Don’t try me, bitch(es)! 😄

New week is gonna be nice! 🤓


another daruma sent as birthday gift with a script “fall down seven times, stand up eight”


Bad mood is hunger
Draining mind and tainting heart.
Can food heal the pain?

Certain type of bad mood doesn’t go away easily. It can sit silently consuming emotion for almost 12 hours. Some can be cured with food, some can’t. We still need food anyway.

Unfortunately no one is responsible as the cause, it popped out just like that with the falling rain; yet the self is responsible to get through it patiently.


from this – kepok banana –
both birds and humans love it
to this for late lunch – failed to quiet the mind
from this – Ipoh pomelo, the best one on earth
to this for early dinner – at least cooling the heat in heart gradually

Blessed Day Reclaimed

Cold morning switched off the air conditioner.
Whistling wind wildly knocked on the glass door.
Windy rain greeted Sunday morning.
What dry hanging got re-soaked — a basket of potentially re-wash.

May kindness be absent for a while?
May a pinch of disappointment be sprinkled?
May a drop of despair be shared today?

A promise was wished
To smile,
To laugh,
Or to just close eyes in unbearable
And sleep away,
Or to make noise among fire, water and oil,
Or simply splash some ink on paper or wall—

That this noisy weather
Is less noisy than the kitchen.
And it turns back to a blessed day.

Sometimes it only takes some kitchen noise to save a Sunday.

when you feel bad, boil vegetables and other stuff 🥺
and make them the best gado-gado on earth for this morning’s breakfast! Ok, Sunday, I will stay home the whole day while you get soaked by rain 🙃