Shape A Good Heart

Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—

————————————————————

Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though

With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.

Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam….

where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝

Stop As You Wish

Ahead or behind?
Life isn’t racing, but game
Chasing each other—
Enjoy! There’s no finish line.
You rest whenever you want.

————————————————————

Isn’t it fun to enjoy life like enjoying a game which happy children do? We run. We laugh. We scream. We forget about sadness and anxiety. No one forces us to do it. We can slip in the circle whenever we want and take a break when getting tired.

Today’s chat was a bit serious, about how hard it is to be genuinely ourselves in the middle of many who try to find what’s not us. My good friend said that some people have experienced so much or so many lies that they can’t take honesty anymore. They can only accept lies. I agree with her in some way; I’ve met some of that type.

This type of people will always try to investigate who you are even after you disclose who you truly are. An auditor should do that because it is a profession, but a friend should not do that because friendship is based on trust.

I’m lucky to have trusted some of good friends in life and they have trusted me for the same reason. The reason is enjoying life as a game in true friendship, not in competition.

May all beings be happy.

Walking The Dark

Value, Beloved,
Not only talked; also walked—
White cane of the blind

———————————————————

One teacher said talking and walking the value consistently is one of the safest way of life. Challenging though especially where many are unknown or unfamiliar—

Yet it takes integrity to stay in a value.

“Hey! What about economical value? Political value?“ asked the students.

Teacher said,”When it is about taking advantage from others, we’d better not call it value.”

“What would you call it then?”

“Hmm…. I don’t know, whatever you call it as long as you don’t harm yourself and others.”

“Sometimes those who know don’t know….,” said one student whispering almost no voice.

“Some things just don’t have exact name. They are simply known and felt,”said the teacher in the heart smiling and walking ahead.

Aah! It takes a journey to be a student. It takes a journey to be a teacher. The same journey, different lessons 💝

Salaam…

keeping value as an ethical beacon in life

Who Is The Key

I want to want
I want to not want
I don’t want to want
I don’t want to not want

Which one am I now?

————————————————————

As long as I’m human being, I won’t be able to deny the want and not want. It’s not the verb, it’s the subject. A complication of thinking!

I don’t want to love you but I want to free myself to love one staying in the heart. That’s perfection!

In fact the struggle seems like a perfect circle when two ends collides: things don’t always happen as expected. Then what appears is that the simplicity of acceptance is above perception.

Simplicity is the crown of perfection. 💝

Alhamdulillah….

just do things right – when you’re angry, be angry but just do it right

No Secret

Secret, Beloved
Ice cube waiting for warm touch—
Melts and flows: a stream
Of messages from the heart.
Read or heard of. Clean and clear—

———————————————————

No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.

Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.

Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.

As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.

May all beings be happy.

that year, when a cold caught a cold

It’s All About Becoming

Magic, Beloved,
Not just spells. It’s click and twist
Within time and space.

————————————————————

I thought magic was a split second materialisation of what were wished. Years ago I believed that The Most Powerful would make things in just a blink of an eye. With millions of disclosure and exposure, magical things have become something natural. Everything can be interpreted as miracle as much as it can be considered ordinary.

Magic is a mechanisation in the universe in which processes and timelines cannot be denied. Sooner or later….

May all beings be happy.

Setting

Master Horse

A horse is running
In a round. To win it not;
To serve the master—

————————————————————————————————

Am I the horse or the master?

If the horse, do I know enough who is my master so that I don’t just gallop whenever anyone other than the master whips me.

If the master, do I know enough how to appropriately engage with the horse and whether or not the horse has endurance for certain round either race or equestrian.

More importantly do I know what’s a horse and what’s a master?

May all beings be happy.

golden circle

Arid Land, His Heart

I never want to hurt myself, I just didn’t know who you are.
I got hurt by a cactus in a desert
Who pricks little fingers,
Who just want to touch this life softly,
Not hurting, not taking anything away.


Wounded, I decided to blame stupidity:
Why did I have to have to have to have to have to just touch cacti? I should have left that arid land long before I touched a prickly spirit.


A delayed regret is less important than a lesson learned but it always gives a story the most significant pivot.


Now
I’ll just admire from here
From where I stand
With millions of prayers
For a secret journey.
Yet I know you are a ghost days and nights.


Someday when I pour down the rain,
You’ll know.
Love is as sweet as water in drought—
Maybe—
If it is not late....

May all beings be happy.

Muslim Women Have Their Right Over Their Own Body

It takes courage for some women just to wear what they would love to so appreciate the freedom to do what you want to do responsibly.

Life is so generous and would it be wise for me not to be blessed just to be me?

May all beings be happy.

Sunset – haiku

She loves each sunset.
It throws her things to ponder,
About life knots.

Temasek – Aug. 30, 2020 / 23:54

Many people choose to live in houses facing the east where the Sun greets them in their mornings. The iconic sunrise is not only the representation of natural beauty but also the indication of value in dollars of the residence.

All my windows face west though, with no special consideration except that I pay cheaper rent for this small apartment. My friends said I should have chosen the other one with some dollars more to see the sunrise. I thought I made wrong choice but soon found that sunset isn’t less beautiful than the sunrise.

Sunset gives me warmth of the day. It waves me a hope to see the next day. It’s red, orange, yellow behind the spectrum of light to dark blue and oftentimes grey to pitch black has become my dear friend when I’m home.

I’ve been not only living but also working from home since March and seeing many sunsets with different combinations of colours and weathers.

In fine days sky gives me clearer definition of what sunset is like. Round burning circle slowly and quietly drowns into darkness, leaving the land a peaceful place and letting electricity take the turn.

In cloudy days I’ll ask the sky where he hides the giant fire ball. He says the ball is still burning behind him, moving to the same direction in the same orbit with relatively the same speed, just that it is knowing that certain days don’t need its presence for some reasons. Sun still sets but my eyes don’t witness it.

Sunset has taught me that life goes on whether we see it or not, hear it or not, discuss it or not, taste it or not, smell it or not: sense it or not. Sunset has taught me that the attention is human beings’ button of “what exists”. With or without that button, everything exists yet human beings think some don’t exists just because their button is off.

Sunset is truly a gift for me from the Universe. It is a present when I miss my beloved people, a lesson when I’m aware of who I am or I am not, a teaching when I’m enlightened, a button when I’m observant or ignorant and many other subjects depending on what state of emotions I’m in.

Sunset is a call to realise that nothing lasts forever and at the same time thing can be an eternal memory of yours as long as you wish it is.

Alamak…. I become so sentimental because of sunset….

Thanks much, Sunset for accompanying me for some minutes in my long-hour day. I know you travel to the west, please carry my hope to my love and send it back to me the next day through the sunrise in front of my east front door.

May all beings be happy….

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Empty Talk of Friendship between Self & Love – ranting

There are times when you feel people pass by you igniting some fire inside of you. Oops! Not you, it is me. There are times when I feel people pass by me igniting some fire inside of me. And that day is ruined, work isn’t fun, chores aren’t fun, good movies become boring, good books become rubbish, many things become lousy.

This evening I looked at the face in the mirror, scrutinised the body line, touched the thinning hair and felt the throbbing core in the chest. Closing my eyes, those faces of people igniting my fire jumped and jolted out of my head…. And some inner songs are sung to the Self.

Dear Self,
All coming to you as Teachers with different what and how.
Some people come teaching with words.
Some others come teaching with actions.
Some others come teaching with emotions.
The others come teaching you with the combination of those.
You’ve gotta accept those people lightly ‘coz they are just Teachers.

Oh, Love
I don’t feel like having Teachers anymore.

Dear Self,
Then take them as Messengers.
All the words, actions and emotions are lines of messages, prophecies, justification, validation, rectification…. Or even judgement for you, on you, to you.
Just take them as Messengers and let them go freely and lightly. Don’t hold on to who they are. The messages and the way the messages are brought to you is more meaningful than the Messengers.
Let the Messengers go. They need to send messages to other human beings.

Oh, Love.
I know now.
My hair becomes grey and thinning because of the ugly voices.
My skin and flesh becomes flabby because of the cruel hands and feet.
My eyes and smiles become dull and gloomy because of the laughter and anger.
Those are all the reflections of my own deficiencies, not those Messengers’.
I care too much on who and whom and that has made me so tired like Heaven.

Dear Self.
Now that you know….

Oh, Love.
I don’t know

Dear Self.
But you said you know….

Oh, Love.
Let me revise. Now I know that I just need to see thing as it is, not adding assumption, perception and loading emotions….
That way I liberate myself.
That way I unlearn what have blinded me from the reality.
That way I accept things as they are.
That way I judge things neutral.
And that way I can live lightly.

Dear Self
Good!

Oh, Love.
Nothing is good or bad.

Dear Self.
You start to talk wise like me.

Oh, Love.
Aren’t I you?

Dear Self,
Stop.
Time to eat your fried tofu then sleep….

Oh, Love.
You are wise and know what I need….

—-

Note to Self: sometimes you don’t have to take life so heavily; otherwise, your head will explode before its due date. Eat then sleep! 😁

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Hujan Bulan Juni – Sapardi Djoko Damono

Hujan Bulan Juni

tak ada yang lebih tabah
dari hujan bulan Juni
dirahasiakannya rintik rindunya
kepada pohon berbunga itu

tak ada yang lebih bijak
dari hujan bulan Juni
dihapusnya jejak-jejak kakinya
yang ragu-ragu di jalan itu

tak ada yang lebih arif
dari hujan bulan Juni
dibiarkannya yang tak terucapkan
diserap akar pohon bunga itu

—-

Most of his poems are romantic, in all walks of life. His words are not flowery but so touching with its simplicity, flowing like a story.

My maturity has grown and some shade of it has been by this poet’s lyrical poems.

Rest In Peace.

 

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The Guesthouse – (poem by Rumi)

The Guesthouse

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.


This poem was one of those discussed in the Self Discovery course I enrolled in Scotland.

So hard and torturing for my empty head that always craves for intelligence.
So intense for my empty heart that always craves for drama.
So beautiful when we read and contemplated it collectively in the classroom.
So enriching~
Awakening the sleeping giant in the corner of my Soul.

And I was so amazed that part of the poem is recited in one of songs of my favourite band Coldplay entitled “Kaleidoscope”. Enjoy!

Thank you, Rumi for waking me up with your words loaded with divine love.

Blacky and Amie

I support animal lovers and rescuers by praying for them or when I’m able I’d like to donate or accompany them to take care of those animals. But honestly I mostly support them from a distance…. The lowest level of caring but the best I can.

About two weeks ago a friend of mine texted me to pray for Blacky, a little cutie pie that was suffering from vomitting after every meal of his. Blacky, a black-with-white-spots kitten was waiting for exchanging blessings with me.

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This is Blacky, when he was up and around.

Blacky was transported by his mommy named Amie by bus for about 3 hours. What a lovely journey for Blacky and Amie the mommy….! To get him cured. Vet said that Blacky suffered from kidney disfunction. Or, at least that was the result after some examination by the vet plus X-Ray.

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Blacky and mommy Amie

Mommy had to go home to Tangerang, Banten because she had to work. But Blacky ought to stay — he was exhausted and needed some rest because of Tangerang – Jakarta trip and his sickness. Then it was decided to put Blacky in an animal clinic in Kemang.

IMG_2884IMG_2888IMG_2887 Blacky with siblings — all those sweet creatures

Blacky was not getting better. He kept vomitting and decided to leave, he was departing to the land across beautiful ocean. On his last day he ate a little and got positive energy support from another friend of mine. But Blacky really wanted to leave. He was happy and still is now.

Blacky felt the love of mommy Amie and thanked the Universe for sending her to take care of him in his very short life span. He was serving himself as a cat and it was his best serviceat that time. He would love to serve a better role in his next span of life and the Universe already grants his wish.

He will be borne as a boy or a girl who gets so much love…. Namaste….
He will be borne as a boy or a girl who is raised by loving and caring parents…. Namaste.
He is blessed and giving blessings.

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Breastfed together to mommy cat

Thank you Blacky for being present in my life although we never met face to face…. I feel the love of yours and mommy Amie’s love.

Please be safe in your trip to your better future. Til we meet again….

Jalan Putri Hijau, Medan – October 2, 2015 – 12:23am

Frog – A Transformation

So many years that butterfly is a symbol of transformation has been ingrained in my blood. From egg to caterpillar to cocoon then beautiful winged soft insect has been a cycle from a tiny little nothing to flying colors.

What about a frog?

Egg (Amplexus) then tadpole to froglet then frog
Isn’t that a cycle of transformation, too?

Yes, it indeed is.

But… What beauty can we extract from being a frog? Wait! It’s way too early to say no quality in a frog.

Frog is a sign of Spring — when life begins. Frog sings very loudly, invigorating the air of night, welcoming Summer.

A frog is a froglet losing its tail. What is tail for a frog, he doesn’t need (to) tail anymore. A frog is mature enough to take its way without tail(gating). So, are you a frog or a froglet?

And, a frog is one independent evolved egg that is able in detaching itself from the cluster wrapping thousands of eggs and escaping from the fish and other water predators. Ohlala…. You are a successful individual when reaching frog phase.

A frog is a froglet transforming from a water body to live in both water and land and ready to breed. It represents someone able to find the core of reality — being a physical cum spiritual being. Both needs to be developed and maintained; they weave and knit together to generate “haute couture” in a life time of a developed spirit. Balaced Yin and Yang: This happens as part of a frog’s being, our being.

yin_yang_cats_by_solreina-d6kgspx

So, human being transforms not only like a butterfly but possibly also like a frog….

Which do you choose as your picturesque analogy? You choose.

It’s just a thought pouring down in the middle of the night before a short sleep welcoming a new day.

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Singapura – May 19, 2015 – 1:07am

Free – haiku

Pearls are sliding through
A long thread; falling down to
The floor — to be free.

=======

Free falling, I want to be free.
Free from others’ eyes…. from others’ ears….
Can I do, oh can I do?

If I can, then what should I do?
Dancing in the dark space like this moment?
So, why do I need to be free?

Let me travel in the space, dark space of Light,
Spiralling to and meeting you.

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Singapura – April 12, 2015 – 9:42pm

A Bit of Animal Healers and Lovers

I found one site of an animal healer and got amazed with what she has been doing. The healer name is Susan Grey. She does the healing on site or from a distance. I wish she has long life and be able to heal more and more helpless fellow creatures here on earth.

Very few care about animal healing – the real healing because healing is not only to physical but also to the psychological even spiritual parts of the animals.

Animals can get trauma, animals can be reincarnating souls of previously human so they may need spiritual healing. And, animal healers are helping animals to retrieve back the energy to survive from human threats, life trauma, diseases, etc. What a noble profession we rarely recognise.

My today’s talk to an animal rescuer “Tinny Chen” was really amazing. She is the “mommy” of Moppy, the dog that is now being examined by a highly-dedicated animal healer, a professor in Jakarta. Tinny told me that the professor started his career by being a doctor (to human) then drove his direction to the animal kingdom since he saw that these creatures need him more. This is great!

These two people — Tinny and Prof Koes — along with the supporting people behind them are a group of animal healers; they’re just like a circle of colour pixels with what an animal picture can be drawn beautifully in tact. Each of them heals animals from different aspects: physically and psychologically.

Let’s hope those animal healers bring happy news about the animals, especially Moppy at the moment. Hope Prof Koes can be the hands of Asy-Syifaa who cures Moppy. And, let’s hope Mommy Tinny have everlasting compassion for Moppy and brothers sisters in shelters. And let’s hope that all the surrounding people have positive energy to support them. Let’s hope more people give respect and care to the animals, not consider that “only animals“.

Fyi, from yesterday’s X-Ray we found that there are three bullets in Moppy’s body (one outside skull and two near his rib) and his nose needs to be further analysed for exact diagnose.

The cure of Moppy will be a very good news for all of us, especially for those directly handling him. Let’s pray for the best. Let’s pray that Moppy is healed physically and mentally.

Oye animals…. Forgive me for not doing more than just exposing about your existence. Forgive me for doing very lil’ thing this time. Bless me and love me as like the Asy-Syifaa is always blessing and loving you all. I wish I can be a powerful animal healer. Namaste….

Susan’s web: http://www.distancehealer.net/animal-healing.htm

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Singapore – April 11, 2015 – 12:35pm