Three Words

Three words wait for you
To say to those around you:
Beloved darling—

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Words in poem

Colours in painting

Voice in songs

Air in breath

Prayer in silence

Steps in walk

Choose one way to say I love you…

Bambang Ekalaya, An Unpopular Genius Who Is Underrated (Part 1)

Beauty, Beloved
Hidden, might never be found—
Still it is beauty.

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This prince is one of my favourite wayang (literally means shadow, leather puppet show that are watched from behind the geber/screen as shadow). He is one of the bravest, most studious, dignified character in pewayangan (Javanese puppet stories that are mostly centralised on Mahabharata, Ramayana and their modifications). He is unpopular (in wayang stories, Pandhawa and Kurawa are those who are popular), humble and empan papan (knowing one’s proper position in some given situation— Javanese wisdom)

Ekalaya or Bambang Ekalaya or Palgunadi was a prince (king later) in a small kingdom called Paranggelung (Nishada) under Hastinapura commonwealth. He ruled his kingdom wisely. His life was contented and happy, yet there was one ambition he hadn’t fulfilled yet. He wanted to be one of the best archer in his era.

Ekalaya or Bambang Ekalaya or Palgunadi

While he had the talent and ambition, his status as unpopular prince of a small kingdom hampered him from getting the opportunity to enrol in the most prestigious archery school under management of Pandhita Durna. Pandhita Durna was the highest professor educating Pandhawa and Kurawa children who were the heirs of the most prominent kingdom of the era. He was the patent holder of Danudewa, the highest archery skill in the era.

Bambang Ekalaya who was naturally talented himself had achieved high level of skill, that allegedly could beat the skill of the most skilful and most favourite student of Pandhita Durna, Arjuna or also called Palguna.

Bambang Ekalaya was also known as one human being who wore a divine ring called Mustika Ampal that could amplify his power. This ring was a gift given to Ekalaya’s father who prayed to the Highest Divine wishing that his child could be blessed as a wise king. Pandhita Durna didn’t know that this unpopular prince had this rare powerful gift and thought that only Arjuna was the most talented knight.

Although he was rejected, Bambang Ekalaya didn’t stop training himself for the perfection of archery skill. He made a statue of Pandhita Durna and everyday he religiously gave respect to “him” and rigorously exercised in front of the statue as if Pandhita Durna really had been witnessing his activities.

Bambang Ekalaya was married to a princess who loved him devotedly. Her name was Anggraeni or Dewi Anggraeni.

Anggraeni or Dewi Anggraeni

Anggraeni loved Bambang Ekalaya devotedly. The princess was a humble, courageous woman who would not easily give up to challenge of integrity.

to be continued

Harvest

If I can meet you,
I won’t stop calling your names.
Harvesting blessings—

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The orchids are bringing me some time to sit at home, admiring the beauty of nature gifts in pots.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do except accepting what is because beauty is just like that. Just like what?

Just like calling your names 💝

Salaam…

this lasts for about 3 months
these duets are the most frequent show-off
she’s been around 1.5 months and still shiny

this white, favourite colour of mine

Kitchen, Dining Area (ranting)

Where is the kitchen, Dear?
Done; now dining area—
Let’s dine together.

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Some discussion is naturally heating and escalating. And a recent one with some friends was one of them.

Started with questions of why do those people do this and that in the name of religions? What do you think about what happen in those countries?

“Perhaps none of the things in a religion is wrong. It is the interpretation of the script, interpretation is product of thinking that can be wrong or inappropriate. Many religious people rigidly think that only their interpretation is the truth. Only they can go to heaven. They behave as if they are the committee of heaven who decide who can enter the gate. They claim this and that. They don’t give space to others to present different opinions. For example the dark face of Islam nowadays is because of the image given based on how the Holy Quran is interpreted and presented by popular groups (minor percentage unfortunately) and it might not be the real teaching.

That religious interpretation has not built in vacuum chamber. It’s been loaded with political interests and competitions among scholars who have had different thinkings and interests based on whatever their strongest points at a certain time. Things have not been purely and objectively dedicated to the welfare and safety of ummah (people). It’s been always power and money.”

To me religion is a kitchen where a host optimises cooking skills and high standards of all ingredients and processes; attitude is a dining area where the host serves the best food to the guests with kindness and respect. I harvested this wisdom from a Javanese elder years ago and since then stopped religion discussion with those who only want to create tension or force belief to me.

Acceptance that truth is layered (personal, shared/agree, absolute) and should be respected is now my standpoint. Institutional religion is not my interest anymore. All religions are unbroken chains of stages of human beings’ ethical values development on earth.

Personal truth is what one believes with all the concoction of what one holds based on one’s understanding and experiences. In this layer religions can be very private and unique, based on how one has been raised since one was fetus up to now. My truth might not be yours and the vice versa.

Shared/agreed truth is agreements about things. This agreement becomes what are believed and strived by a group of individuals be it friendship, society, organization, sect, country, etc. In this layer religions might be used (even abused) to be commodity to drive policy and power; or institution to build boundary and authority.

Absolute truth is the core truth, no bias no spectrum, the vacuum chamber. In this layer religion might be nothing but a concept misunderstood, misinterpreted, mistreated, misused by many human beings. This absoluteness never belongs to any creatures on earth even Prophets, Messengers or Saints. It is the privilege of The One who might have been misunderstood by every single believer or thinker or whoever on earth. The One will only give signs and symbols in order for human beings to clarify and verify the truth. The One gives all tangible and intangible senses as tools to decipher the signs and symbols; however, The One lets the creatures decide how the senses are used— whether the tools are well kept and calibrated to work well, it is up to them.

I don’t worry about how I practice religion. What those people think about a religion might be not right at all; of course I might be wrong either.

The Prophet said “I was sent to uphold and complement ethical values.”

How could a group of people claim they do the right interpretation of the religion by doing unethical things? Discrimination, harassment, abuse, killing, stealing (corruption included), cheating (manipulation included), etc…. Is this the right thing as what the Prophet did teach about ethical values?

I guessed not. Now I don’t believe so and I don’t think so. Sadly many read text without context— jokingly intelligent.

Some days are tough when questions about religion bother.

I’m sorry, dear friends. I can’t always agree with you.

May all beings be happy.

would love to have this kind of kitchen some day 😍

Same Cause Different Emotions

How much is the food?
Not for sale— It’s for display
After best effort.

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1 cup and 3 small bowls of chawanmushi for lunch, snack and dinner today.

Happy and proud of enjoying own cooking. Full and bored of enjoying own cooking. 🥰

Thank you, weekends. You’ve always given loads of new energy to welcome the next you. 😇

Salaam…

it’s good taste yet not the right texture. next time better, inviting friends so I don’t have to throw up egg 🤓

Chicken And Egg

If you love yourself,
Fry some eggs, sit on the porch,
Think of fried chicken.

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When eating egg, why thinking about chicken? This mind is a monkey— nimble and energetic when awake. It only sleeps, when the holder is dead. I’m still alive so let the mind move freely, with a fence right on an edge of a cliff.

Happy weekend!

🐥🐣

yum yum!
beautiful tamagoyaki my version 🙊🙉🙈
isn’t it too big?
3 to 4

Green Can Be Not A Colour At All

Some green book wasn’t green;
As black as history; fun
As unique friendship.

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A good watch for the weekend 🎉

How a trip makes a friendship.

How seat position makes different points of view.

How sweet words move a heart.

How a movie draws smiles.

How would you think?

Be Hungry, Don’t Starve

Hunger, Beloved,
A good friend. Not starving though—
The latter’s killing.

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Hungry is needing and nurturing; starving is craving and suffering. Knowing what is needed becomes significant; be just hungry, not extremely hungry that causes craving for more than the capacity.

…. In another case, love. Don’t demand. Universe know what you deserve. 💝

I’m a happy birthday-clown; ready to kiss the world and kick the other side of it. 👻

Welcome one new cycle. Give me good surprises, the bad are all expired!

Salam….

today’s early dinner, also this year’s celebration – many happy return! was it hunger or starvation? 😛

Beauty

Beauty, Beloved,
Prescribed by culture; differed
Through one’s perspective—

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When I was young, I faced difficulty in describing beauty. It was always society’s perspective taken. A question of “why beauty is so rigid” remained preserved.

Getting more mature, I got more freedom to describe what beauty was and found there was wider spectrum of what beauty was.

Now beauty is in everything everywhere as the eyes are not only seeing things through what’s culturally ascribed or prescribed. They have achieved a point that what are unlimitedly created can be freely appreciated. And, so is beauty—

We are created by The Beautiful who loves beauty. Why would not see all through the eyes of the creator?

May all beings be happy.

not perfectly beautiful coz it would dig my wallet too deeply if I wanted more; this is perfectly matched my beautiful day though and that’s perfect! 💝

Live Forever

Glory, Beloved,
Living doubts by loving hopes.
Time is my beacon.

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Reading the holy book, I found time is used to testify for many different things in different verses. Night, morning, dawn, dusk, time, moments, etc are used repeatedly in a lot of diction. It shows how important and powerful time is.

By the ˹passage of˺ time! Surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss, except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Al-‘Ashr/The Declining Time)

Time is that precious that it is scripted as proverb in some culture. Time is money in a culture that indicates people will lose money if they don’t manage the time well. Time is sword in another one that indicates only when sharpened, it will effectively work in a battle. In other cultures time is integrated in the life schedule related to seasons and celebrations.

What is time to this person? Not money, not sword. Time is a sign telling to start, to stop, to pause, to continue, to turn, to go straight or to take U-turn. Time is a when falling on to a nice where to create a moment of truth.

As long as the beacon beams its light, I’ll continue the journey.

Even if forever? Yes, even if forever as I know forever is a count down.

Shape A Good Heart

Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—

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Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though

With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.

Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam….

where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝

Fresh And New

One note, Beloved,
A dewdrop touching the grass
Intonates a song.

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Whispering good prayers as softly as the the vapour drips millions of dewdrops in harmony on the grass, greeting the earth for a new day—

Salaam….

iphone wallpaper

Life Is Buying Time

Life is eternal.
Strand of dimensions through time
Bargained with good deeds
Also sins. How long? You guess.
Till creation’s obsolete?

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September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.

How can I get older yet be more stupid?

There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎

Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….

The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.

Salam….

there’s another life at the end of the journey

Beauty In Spectrum

Canna, you’re a maze.
An intricate bright beauty—
May I have jasmine?

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Some people behave like a maze alive. While impressing others with beautiful look, fascinating sweetness, deathly charms; they often hide the truest true.

Perhaps they are not ready with vulnerability as a result of experiences of untrue relationships. Or, the worst scenario is they have hidden agenda.

While it works wonder in literary or art (some authors or artists want anonymity or pseudonymity, and their works are better sold), it won’t work in friendship. It will be a total failure to some extent.

What are people trying to hide from those called closest friends…. if at the end the untruthfulness stops the friendship from functioning well? Why should ones be pretending?

To someone who is being forced by life for a seclusion:

Please be strong and learn to be vulnerably honest about yourself to your own self.


Wish you the best of the best. You’re a butterfly in the making.
💝

May all beings be happy….

canna lily, “bunga tasbih” in Indonesian, the intricate bright beauty
jasmine sambac, “bunga melati” in Indonesian, the simple humble beauty

Too Many Mind, Dreams Stay Though

I lost a fur of my dream catcher.

The play-smart mind told me
“Find what’s the cause.”

The relaxed mind of me replied
“Alamak… It’s just a metal.”

The play-pretty mind said
“But it is now less pretty!”

The play-wise mind said
“Small one. I’m just being careless. Ok!”

The greedy mind said
“That’s a good reason to buy new ones!”

From behind the door, the naive one said
“Why so noisy? It doesn’t kill.”

…… #@$%^&*!

And the core is just smiling, not even opening its eyes.

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When talking to one’s own self, one should be ready to feel like crazy inside because one will suddenly realise even within one there are this one and that one, each of whom is craving for attention and needing entertainment.

Get entertained instead and they’ll be the most attractive acrobatics!

May all beings be happy.

dear dream catchers, I won’t buy new ones – you’ll stay as long as the dreams are flowing and vibrating 💕

Wheel of Time (Indonesian free verse)

Sore tadi selepas kerja
Seorang sahabat mengajak bernostalgia
Meniti pergumulan diri

Dia mengunduh ilmu sejati sang mursyid
Dibabarkannya sejujur perjalanan

Sedangkan aku menangguk pelajaran yang sama dari Jayabaya

Tentang siklus, momentum, portal, kesatuan manusia dan galihnya

Waktu adalah untaian momentum
Yang jika terlewatkan, walau tak terputus, talinya melemah
Dan redup di bagian-bagian tertentu.

Maka kenalilah perjalanan waktu
Dari awal hingga akhir,
Lalu
Telusuri lagi dia dari akhir ke awal,
Sehingga
Niat jahat mendadak melembut,
Rasa enggan menjadi kasih,
Yang tak kenal menjadi karib.

Perjalanan hidup ialah tersambungnya ujung seutas tali.

There is so much about loving you. You’ve been my ghost for so long. Maybe too long….

There shall be a time the ghost to die and to be born to life.

Time, help me.

💝

Jealous Angel?

Do you want to know,
Beloved? He’s an Angel,
Outcasted. Fallen
Of jealousy, arrogance.
So is your pride, Beloved?

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I was sitting on my bike checking the left side of AirPods that was not well connected and so lost the audio when someone stopped by and asked,”Are you lost? What way are you trying to find?”

“Oh no, no, no. I’m checking my audio.”

“Oh, I thought you’re lost ha… See map or what haha”

“No, no. Thank you, thank you, Uncle!”

His question “are you lost” reminded me to one who used to live in an exquisitely designed place called heaven and because of losing one’s clear thinking, one was outcasted. One became incompatible with one’s original position.

Who is that one? Those who read religious history of human creation might know, yet I’m not interested to think of the individual. One’s characters, actions and the implication become more relevant to ponder in my situation at that time.

And it calmed me down.

Sometimes losing pride is so significant to a human being. Sometimes failure to show one’s dignity or ability becomes the core of the day. Others’ perception has overridden the real importance of a success itself, or an action. In that situation someone can turn into a jealous, arrogant, irrational who thinks of two: fight or flight, while one should simply stay calm and collected.

Underestimation or humiliation if accepted positively might be simply inability to perceive what is or misunderstanding of self love. In short only those without knowledge and love will underestimate or humiliate others.

Why should I be upset? What a waste!

I don’t want to outcast my own self from the beauty of being a human being just because of forgetting who this person really is. Forget about jobs or credentials; both are not significant when alone meeting with one’s self.

I don’t want to ignore what’s happening inside just because of my own or others’ perceptions. Let them say I’m low; I’m not low although I’m never high. Let them say I’m nothing; I’m not nothing although I’m nobody. Let them say I’m meaningless; I’m not meaningless although I don’t mean to be the most meaningful of all.

Oh Lord, thanks for sending me an old wise man to show the other side of a coin.

Thanks for making me a human being so I won’t live forever outcasted in arrogance and jealousy.

Dear, Arrogance. Dear, Jealousy. Although not forever, you are still living here now comfortably. Be tamed for me.