(Un)Fortunately

Ripple can disturb
A placid lake. Tidal wave
Won’t change a rough sea.

I’m a small lake, whereas you’re the wide sea. Dear, with the roughness you can’t feel the softest heart. Too bad….

May all beings be happy.

dim light captures silence

Doesn’t Look Like Any….

You’re a paradox.
Close but distant; tangibly
Impalpable sphere—

I know you’re around. I just know. I trust you, Beloved. You smell like mid spring, sound like jazz, taste like sugar cane, feel like breeze, but not sure look like what….

May all beings be happy.

fresh, relaxing, sweet, flowing song

Love Or Pride

Is it love or pride
To push through? Fortunately
Engineerable—

Some choose love over pride, some pride over love. No one can truly win over either because love and pride can be carved on to two faces of a coin. Ones need to toss the coin and get any appearance of one face not by luck. It is well designed, constructed and furnished.

How?

Culturally obviously….

True, Love. As long as you are being human, you can never absolutely win over one over another (the other?). It’s about how you grow through all dimensions in which you are: physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, economically, politically.

Accept it.

May all beings be happy.

Mount Bromo, where sun cheerfully rises

What I Trust

What is after this?
What shall we be transformed, Love?
Trust me, Beloved.

Trust is my key. It is with what I address what I can’t see behind the curtains. Be it good or bad, the journey is ahead. God bless each breath I take and the air I release….

May all beings be happy.

Let’s wear the key again….

Put Colours Or Move Things Now

Cold weary corner
Keeps things alive. It’s a choice
To put some colours.

Often time one puts everything in one place and let the other space vacant because it is easier to get whatever within reach. It is good, yet sometimes one should follow the heart to reach out those beyond spatiality.

Re-arrange and better manage one’s self.

The right side of my table is always packed with everything. The left side is almost empty….

Heaven Is Where?

Where are you now, Love?
Home is around the corner.
Turn right and be there.

One of good friends sent her work of art, compiling her memories of Sulawesi trips into a sweet calling-home clip.

Thank you, Mbak Adek for reminding me that I’ve got home, a beautiful one. A beautiful home is a heaven on earth and in heart.

Home is where heaven is. Good friends make you realise that it’s real!

Salaam.

This video was produced by Adek Azhar. She is a cat lover, a happy mother and grandmother, a good friend, a crazy traveler, a senior journalist as best description of her. Can’t wait to travel with her after pandemic in our small group of awkward travelers! 💞

Colouring Days

Colours adorn day—
Connect it to a mood which
Is the token. Not?

Flowers can give positive vibes in the room and even in the house. Working from home takes more effort to stay vibrant as for at least 8 hours some employees won’t be in “real contact” with other human beings; online platform can’t fully accommodate the actual need of interaction among human beings.

One of my colleagues in China who has the same interest in flower with me sometimes sends pictures of her today’s flower display. Last week she sent white peony. She knows I really really really want to have peony, which isn’t available in Singapore.

To some ladies flower is a medicine, curing some disturbed moods.

May all beings be happy.

white peony
red rose three days ago
today’s displays to choose

Being Neighbours & Banana

What’s being neighbours?
Readily help and share with;
Willing to be, too—

My homebase starts materializing. Yay! It is in Yogyakarta, a small city that is socio-culturally integrated (different ethnic, religion and political groups are well blended), not so crowded and modern (sayonara, Jakarta!), with existing international airport, etc, etc, etc. And one most important thing is good friends are living there.

I always love to be and to have good and reliable neighbour(s). Those good friends will be my neighbours from whom I will get help and support when needed and who are willing to get helps and supports from me. They are not in the same housing complex but still in the same city.

For the past four days my menu has been all about banana. Banana for breakfast. Banana for lunch. Banana for dinner. Banana either cooked or just eaten not cooked. How much ever I felt bored with banana, I had to finish the banana because neighbours confirmed of not liking and wanting banana. Their expressions of “oh that banana?”, “banana hahaha”, “ummm banana but…” left a tiny puncture on my poverty pride. Maybe next time I’ll share gold or cash and see if the puncture moves to another point hahaha…

My “active neighbours” said to me it is not so common to share food with “any neighbours” nowadays. Or, they want to give but they don’t want to accept. Yes, yes, they are so right. I learnt another lesson about this people.

My so called “active neighbours” nowadays are the cleaning services and security guards with whom I can share food and wishes freely. Hey, hey I never share left over, all food is either cooked by me or packed from stores/restaurants purposefully for them. Respect to all my active neighbours. 🙏🏼

When I shared the pictures of those cooked banana in the Instagram and how much I’d love to share the banana (cooked or not cooked) with neighbours, my neighbours-will-be in Yogyakarta gave welcoming comments including they would love to share their cookings too, and that alone has made me confident of moving to that city and hopefully living comfortably there in the (not so near) future.

Sometimes I feel that I don’t belong to this place. Yet I know I have to be here for some time before leaving these things behind and enjoy being a human living side by side with others without other temporary identity; just being me, being human.

I know it will happen, not very soon; but it will happen. Now I am happy with this temporary identity and want to be a good neighbour for anyone who is willing to be my neighbour.

One more thing: I’ll grow banana in the future homebase and cook the best banana recipe and share it with neighbours there! 😂

May all beings be happy.

second day of cooked banana – the first day was banana cake but not so nice to take picture of, I also took my vitamin with un-cooked banana on those two days 😩
third day of banana; aside from this I took my vitamin with un-cooked banana and ate one after the main course at lunch
last batch of banana on fourth day; I also took my vitamin with an un-cooked banana and ate the last one un-cooked and celebrated my freedom from banana! 🤩

Dream Brings Back Wisdom

Defined with honour,
Integrated in mindset:
Sublime happiness—

Having beautiful dreams everyday for one week is blessings in a row. The best of mine recently was finding so many ruby stones while walking home. When waking up, sense of calmness and relief were present yet at the same time a question of whether happiness was here. In the dream I still had to polish the ruby to shine, but at least those stones were given to me.

A couple of years ago I joined a noble silence in Bali, a one-week-no-gadgets-no-books-no-media-no-talk-just-be-with-yourself-although-living-in-a-dorm-with-other-people-and-be-vegetarian-plus-meditation-almost-the-whole-day. A top luxury for someone like me

Not about the noble silence, but a lot of things came back to me especially on how happiness is perceived by different people with different social, cultural, economical backgrounds.

In that noble silence there attended many different people from all walks of life: someone working in a prominent firm in NYC, fashion designer from Paris with one’s daughter, a family from Australia, a rich flight attendant of one of the best airline on earth, a rich person naming himself a party animal, a young start up owner who once talked in front of a president of the super power, an entrepreneur from Spain with one’s daughter, all others I can’t remember who because we practically didn’t introduce each other further. We stared and smiled with each other maybe once for that one week because each was simply busy with one’s self.

I was surprised that those who appeared so proud and happy and unshakeable finally shared in the closing ceremony how they struggled in life and how the noble silence brought realisation to them — simply by befriending with themselves. We were broken with different reasons: family matters, public cases, friendship, romance, work, trauma, fear of things and so on and so forth.

One more thing, struggling is not about how big the problem is but it is about how something disturbs the state of one’s clear mind. Nothing is defined too small when it shakes the boat.

I miss another noble silence, one of the biggest luxuries of life.

May all beings be happy.

my humble ruby stone found in a small shop in Kuching

Eloquent Silence

This silence is so eloquent,
But still needs clarification.
What did you just say?
That love is blind?
That love is dumb?
That love is numb?
What did you just say,
Beloved?

Silence weeps bitterly.

Love is candid.
Love is painful.
Love is funny.
Love is simple
As simple as none....
Love is—

Hush!

Don’t trick me with words
Or numbers.
The beauty of silence shouts more loudly than what you’ve uttered.

Bluff with verbs, not adjectives.
Walking hand in hand is more beautiful than telling me beautiful.
Not to be a grammarian, Beloved.
Use the grammar well.

Someday you’ll receive an unwritten book of love with which thousands of poems are softly breathed to survive this pain.

Do you mind whispering an address, Beloved?

This silence is dramatically eloquent but indeed much better than Korean drama.

reading grammar book is fun but practicing the grammar is like falling in love—nervous and excited.

Is Life A…?

An old man’s waiting
For the sun to rise. He moans
At the moon. “Dark night,
Pull away. You block me from
Beauty.” — Life’s a mentalist.

Who is the true beauty? The moon or the sun? Debatable! It’s a matter of played tricks of layered lights— light upon light with darkness in between. How would it be not cozy hiding under a cool calm night while patiently welcoming morning? How would it be not fun playing in a warm radiant day while cheerfully welcoming dusk?

Ah…. Why should one be getting old while constantly denying what is….

Salaam….

Frozen Heart Sleeps Soundly

Good food isn’t one when
Mood isn’t. Mood overrides nuance.
Wake up, Frozen Heart!

—-

I was excited to go to office today —only today. It becomes such a luxury in this situation. Aside from meeting colleagues who happened to be not around, enjoying the food in our office cafe is one of activities much missed for the past one year.

Lunch time came and the decision was on this Western Daily Special. Why not picking original favourite the mixed vegetables? I thought I was bored of consuming vegetables in home cooking.

Yet, I found the special wasn’t as expected…. Didn’t finish it. Let’s fault-find: plain, plain, plain, too big a portion, blahblahblah…. 😕

Then I just realised that it was simply because of a failure building the mood. If someone is in good mood, one must have eaten any portion up with no complaint.

Mood drives many things. Just because of losing the mood, walking home was cancelled. Oh, rubbish talk! Lazy bone!

Too many excuses today! If the bad mood lingers, all colours will be greyed up.

Educate yourself! 😁

Special! Ahem!
Specially jumbo!
Complaining food isn’t this person’s norm. When it’s complained, it incredibly….. The coconut water is the exception, and separately paid.

Cooking Is Sharpening Senses

Our sense, Beloved
Sharpens by knowing spice, herb
And all you cook.
Know, Beloved all we do
Is experiencing taste.
Yummy!
Javanese Garang Asem in ramekin (traditionally wrapped in banana leaf)
Three ramekins of garang asem ready to steam
Boiled chicken added to ramekin, coconut milk add the last
Sliced herbs and spices arranged in ramekin
Chicken boiled in lemongrass, kefir lime leaf, galangal, sugar (if you wish), salt, coconut milk
Cleaned and sliced


Face of Healthy Friendship

Daniel Mananta (a Christian) and Arie Untung (a Muslim), two best friends who understand how friendship should sustain and make each other respect and love— God bless both of them, and all of Indonesians in this hard time.

In this particular time I feel much more blessed to be born by a Muslim mother and a Christian father. God bless you both forever! 💕

Salam….

💞