Leaping Heart (ranting)

Learning

What I’ve felt about myself for the last two weeks has been amazing at the same time embarrassing. The amazement of seeing how heart can leap just because of listening to someone’s voice is unbearable. The embarrassment of seeing how this heart is still leaping because of listening to someone’s voice is also unbearable.

Do I want to keep it?

I don’t have any plan. I just want to enjoy how my heart does this so genuinely. And at the same time I probably would love to see if that voice is just an acting disc that hits one wall but actually targets another side. Something new, something that might give me a different turn in my journey– I don’t want to trust any human being living but myself , but this journey is what I believe.

Beloved, show me the true face of Life in which….

You show the true face of Death.

Thank you.

true face of life & death

Supporting (ranting)

Learning
Sometimes support is simply lending space to those feeling so packed within.

How tiring is it, love?
Rather,
In a way so much,
Yet someday it would feel like
"Yay! I did my best in their worst time!"

I’ve seen cats hanging almost falling with no hope of being safe; I catch them with love although then they sprint away, leaving no trace, no smile, just a look full with suspicion as if saying “why did you help me, stupid?!”

😁

Folded Paper

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person
Folded paper, Love
Hides faces, shows a
figure.
Bowing to the soul--

bowing to the soul by not bowing

Fast Moving Slow Time

Learning, love, Poetic
If I could fold time,
I would fold it a thousand times
So I could meet you soon.

Yet if time were folded a thousand times,
How short time would be,
And how short I can chat with you.

Can time be made origami?
Being a flower when I'm with you,
Its petals would be sprayed with gallons of musk
That evaporates like your shadows--
Being white paper when I'm alone,
It would be on which I write signs
That would easily guide the meanings-- and
The riddle is over.

How about it?

or slow moving fast time

Curtains

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person
Curtains, Beloved:
Drawn to find your pretty face;
Closed to hide my heart--

“hello, black cat”, said a lady

“hello, white shadow”, said a cat

Seigaiha

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person
Missing the calmness that sings.
Missing the peace that dances.
Missing the cheer than paints.
Missing the stillness that recites.
Missing all that lives caressing this hair
With the breeze of love
Of love
Of love.

Life is just like that.
Just like
You--

Seigaiha

I’ve Started Thinking

Learning, Poetic, This Person
I've started thinking
And it's started with you. You
That I've been thinking--

you’re the rhythm in the musical staff; you’re the rhyme in my head

20-Day Fasting Craves

Learning, This Person

From the earliest up to today– only those cooked at home; the missing days were my lazy days in the restaurants.

gudheg manggar; manggar is coconut flowers in Javanese

sorghum

my glorious day of cooking adventure is over after COVID era & now it’s simple kitchen business

😝

watermelon!

corn!

it’s just Javanese home cooking like most days 💕

banana stew 😍

love is in the bowl

tweedle dee, tweedle dum

sugar cane water

cucumber

Siti, one of my friends stayed overnight & the next day she was willing to be a food critique for me

happy palate!

banana cake

tempeh & tofu

Anything But King

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person
being a pawn, Love:
walk up then be anything.
anything. but king--

you just need to safely walk; yet there shall be purpose, plan, strategy, rescue, re-evaluate of steps all the way across the line

🍀

The Wolf to The Moon

Learning, love, Poetic
The wolf to the moon
"I miss you, the eye of nights."
She sets, counting days.

time starts with the count of a rise

love starts with the count of a prayer

trust starts with letting go

space starts with acceptance

you & I starts when both howl in unison — calling what’s the moon is hiding