There is memory shared around a round table at a starry night.
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Old Friends
Tag: friends
Ouch Call! (ranting)
A stroke of a brush is how universe started. A surprise that lasts—
—
Certain friend is good at the same time destroyer of mood. I have one who can leave me“ouch ouch ouch oooouuuuch” for at least one week. This person loves ouching friends as an ice breaker but to some of us he has made it to the next level. This time he ouched me romantically, the worst of all my ouch experience from him. Call one “ouch caller”.
OC: Ready for a forced holiday? Have fun! Don’t work every night, just every two nights.
Me: (1st ouch) Hmmm ok, Sir.
…. Blah blah blah
OC: How is your romance? Get rid of him. He doesn’t even care about you. Don’t be stupid. You are not a door mat.
Me: (2nd ouch)
OC: What type of man do you want? Am I not good enough?
Me: (3rd ouch, but I have to say something) Hey, hey! Not a good time to talk about romance. Painting here and don’t want to lose vibe in the head.
OC: Tell me then. Handsome? Healthy? Rich? Hard working? I… Am… Everything!
Me: (Laughing like crazy as this person was very right about himself) Are you a sales person of your own product?
OC: Yes! And I’ve been selling my quality to you for the past how long with no buy in. You’re getting older and older.
Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH) Ok, ok. I have to explain. I want someone whom I can be comfortable being with even when both of us don’t like the same things. Can you, Mr Cruel Oucher?
OC: What! Of course not! When I go to party, you have to go to party with me. When I go to the gym, you have to go with me. When I cook, you have to cook all what I want. Blah blah blah…. You have to do what I like to do! If necessary you should give up what you like to like what I like.
Me: (Still couldn’t stop laughing) You are not. You are not that right person. You are just my ouch person.
OC: Is he still that person?
Me: Yes.
The next is the most ouched one but probably the most accurate to describe a fact.
OC: Then you have thin hope, thin chance. Not compatible. You don’t even know how to party. You don’t even know how to drink except that weak wine. You don’t even know how to flirt. He might not like reading. He might not like art and literature and walking. He might not like biking. He might hate you singing. He might hate you writing. He might hate you touching your hair again and again. You are not his physical type of beauty. He might hate you with your job. He might hate you being honest and independent. He just doesn’t like you as you. Oh! So relief I could say all these finally.
Me: (OUCH OUCH OUCH OOOOUUUUCH and this will last long) You’re right. Very right. Time to stop your ouches, Sir.
OC: Then you still say no to me?
Me: (Mild ouch but I got impatient) You? I can’t tolerate a die hard nerd like you. You cook better than women. You manage money too well; you are stingy! You love your nephews and nieces more than anyone else, you won’t care about me. You work too hard. You eat too much healthy food, I love deep fried. You ouch people too much. Listen. Don’t call me just to ouch me.
OC: Ok, ok. How are you?
Me: Fine.
OC: Broken heart still?
Me: (ouch) Not really, just a bruise and scratch. Will get over it soon.
OC: It will be gone. For you not too soon though because you are not intelligent in romance. Be patient with yourself. (He was calming and that is when everyone likes him, a calm nice guy — unfortunately came too late after too many ouches happened.) Describe how you think about that person and let’s start the real conversation of today.
Me: My universe
OC: I want to throw up! You imagine him as a Chris Martin? Hahaha!
Me: Never heard of him singing hahaha!
Then we started to chat without ouches for almost two hours — a very nice two hours. A good friend to me is that who ouches me but still makes me comfortable with her/his genuineness.
Thank you! 🤝
Disclaimer: blogged with this ouch caller’s consent with one condition “no exaggeration” which is not accepted like he never said “I want to throw up” and never said that he is handsome and rich although he is rich but not handsome 😊
Friends & Love Stories (ranting)
See this pendulum
Swinging between two far poles
Knowing each other—
—
Someone called me and asked if we could have a dinner. We hadn’t met for many years. Knowing this person was in Singapore, I excitedly agreed to meet. Meeting this person, I was given a shock. This person looked weary and older than one’s age. The excellent appearance and posture was totally gone. That time I felt so blessed for for being me.
Me: I am not a marriage advisor, dear. Not even ever married yet! (That’s after a very long ranting from the friend stopped).
SO: But I know you are the most suitable one I can talk to.
Me: Oh…. (damn wrong, whispered to myself)
SO: …. A broken marriage… !@#$%^&*()_+=-::’<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Oh…. (proven wrong talking to me, whispered to myself)
SO: …. Divorce is painful…. !@#$%^&*()_+=-::’<>,./?~~~~~~~~~~ What should I do?
Me: Oh…. Ummm (starting to show sympathy) I understand how you feel in this situation. Must be painful. Your own stress, the other one’s stress, your children, other people’s impression and words about you, your work….. Everything seems not at your side. I can understand you feel unwanted, useless, bad, irresponsible. Yet decision was made. You just should face it. How? Not sure if my word is reasonable and responsible but I think you just need to keep being you: working as before, doing activities that are still accessible, talking to your children like before, talking to your ex about the children….
SO: You don’t know! It is not that easy!
Me: Oh…. I am so sorry. I might not fully understand it is not that easy. I am so sorry for my ignorance. (told ya I am not the right person, whispered to myself)
SO: How would you survive alone all this time? You seem so happy with your life. Sometimes I regret for getting married too young. Look at you and X and Y and Z. All the singles are happy.
Me: (Oh! A sudden death! I know this would come but too soon, too soon. Let me find the right words. Whispered again to myself ) Ummm…. I think it is not that easy too…. Ummm…. I am happy, yes. Not always, but most of the time I am. Yet I also probably started hard.
SO: You don’t seem ever in hard time.
Me: That’s what you see. !@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&%%%%%%%%%%%%%.
SO: So do you think I can survive?
Me: Of course. Although our problem is not the same, I am sure you can. Don’t underestimate your ability to cope with the hardship of life. You are stronger than you think. You just don’t know it yet.
SO: You really don’t want to get married?
Me: (This question I never like, never like, never like; whispered to myself, but need to find the best words that won’t cause any further question.) This is out of context; you should not ask me this question. Not that I don’t want. It’s just about time.
SO: Do you fall in love?
Me: Ok, now you are asking me question about me.
SO: I feel good when knowing I am not alone.
Me: (Make sense, but why me oh my God!) Ok. Ok. I can make you feel better. Yes I fall in love and break my heart. And I don’t want to break my heart again.
SO: So you don’t want to fall in love again?
Me: Of course not like that. I fall in love again and again.
SO: With whom?
Me: With my eyes. With my lips. With my hair. With my morning. With my job. With my…. (I saw the person got annoyed but I continued with more things) Hahaha….
SO: Is it that easy?
Me: Nothing is easy automatically. It takes practice and time.
SO: What if I don’t get married again in the future?
Me: That’s too far away. Think about what you can do today.
SO: Do you think I still have a chance to get married?
Me: Of course if you want! Just find the right person.
SO: How can I find it? How?
Me: (Oh my God, help me before I can help others. Whispered to myself while finding the best words for this troubled person; even an intelligent person can be as dumb as this in one’s bad time) Hey, hey! If I know how to get the right person, I would have been married much earlier. This question is irrelevant.
SO: Hahaha……! Sorry, sorry! Hahaha……..!
Me: (Ok, at least I made you happy, whispered to myself. Mostly smiling among listening to the ranting, I enjoyed a perfect night — no rain, enough breeze…. Hours can feel like minutes…. On and on and on and on until midnight. Whispered to myself.) Cinderella has to go home, my friend. Or else, she will be back to be Cendrillon.
SO: I feel so much better. It feels like I find myself again. Maybe I was too preoccupied with not important things that I thought I lost the person I had known so long, myself.
Me: I might be like that in the same situation, maybe worse.
SO: Thank you very much.
Me: (I didn’t do anything. Just sat down and listened and responded to you. Whispered to myself for how many times heaven knows) The least I can do. It is good to meet long lost friend. Welcome back.
Dear friend, I know you’ll read this with a smile. Get better. See you some day. When meeting me again, make sure you look nicer.
Lesson learnt: Be patient with those facing fresh-from-the-oven problem. Don’t judge. Be a good listener. Don’t try to be a perfect advisor because you are not. Be yourself. Don’t get offended, someone in trouble may unintentionally disturb you.
Ocean Welcomes
Ocean welcomes all,
River flown and rain fallen.
Friends in a friendship—
—
A meet up with my first mentor training me in my current profession almost 20 years ago. He and his wife are in Singapore to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary and spend this whole day to meet up with me: shopping in Orchard Road Apple Store, browsing around looking for my favourite Japanese restaurant that was found closed down since 2021, having lunch (Indonesian food in Singapore….? Oh my) walking around Orchard Road, taking MRT for fun, enjoying evening coffee in Starbucks Bugis Junction before our farewell.
This wise couple gave me a bunch of advices to be this and to be that…. How lovely this life is to have friends who are willing to share their (personal) experiences for precious lesson learning.
Thank you, Pak Donny and Mbak Maya. See you in Jakarta! 💗🙏🏽
Alfatihah to my dear friends.
Cold Breeze
Cold breeze blows softly
On weekends, and on the leaves
Rustling about me.
—
Friendship
Hello, dear friendship.
This ship is sailing smoothly,
Storms don’t ruin our cruise.
—
Four are (fake) backpackers. One is (true) camper. We all sail together in a ship called friendship.
Alfatihah.
💝
Green Backyard
The green yard behind
Is where greets and smiles soft-land
On the plate and glass.
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Good Age
How good is friendship?
As good as age of a friend
Whose food transforms taste.
—
Good Roots
Good roots are strong roots
Supporting those on the soil.
They won’t be betrayed.
—
This trip is incredibly beautiful. Meeting best friends is more than anything. We talk. We laugh. We eat. We visit places. We engage with people.
One of my best friends who will be my neighbour in my humble abode is one of best human beings I’ve ever known. She lives to humbly serve humanity. She dedicates her life to help the underprivileged. She is so patient about what others do to her and always in understanding mode. She is so passionate in doing what she is doing to help others.
Among all her non profit projects that are my favourite is opening library in a small village that is functioning as youth center at the same time and supporting buruh gendong (traditional female labours who are paid to carry things either by sellers or buyers in Yogyakarta traditional markets, most of them are senior) in some traditional markets in Yogyakarta. If time allows me to live as long as I wish, our agreement is I will teach free classes of English, Japanese, leadership and management system in her youth center, while occasionally going with her from one market to another to greet the buruh gendong. Yet as an artist she is also teaching (mostly) women on how to make artistic products for sale to support themselves financially.
In this trip we discuss a lot about what we should do to ourselves and others but we can’t because of immovable blockages. We also talk about how we can feel good no matter bad a situation is. We talk about what will happen if the youth are not aware of what lies in their future at the same time we concern about how children around us get mature faster than we did before. And all always last long although with only a glass of tea, a cup of Javanese coffee and some pieces of local snack.
Life is too precious to focus on what doesn’t serve us good anymore. Life is too short to lament of any loss that is truly never loss. Life is too grand to just be sad of how that that we love disrespects us. Life is just too beautiful to consider what is not real.
So thankful for how real my best friends are in helping others. So thankful to be part of their spirit. So thankful that we are ordinary people in this grand life. So thankful that we are a grain of sand in the vast shore. So thankful that we accept who we are. So thankful that we are strong roots for each other.
Thank you, dear friend. It is good to always have a question “so what is our plan and action?” 💝
Alfatihah.
Tonight Is A Good Night
Good night, Beloved,
They slow down even the trains.
But times, it moves right.
—-
One friend said “Some people show their sweet side when they need me, I just knew they laughed at me behind my back and said how stupid I’ve been for (she mentioned one big social contribution she made). Do you think I should stop being kind to people?”
Another friend said “No. why stop? There is karma so you’d better do good deed. Your good actions will be repaid with good reactions. Believe it.” This one is also very kind.
Another one said “This life doesn’t owe you anything. So how much ever you spend, it will not be paid back. You will not be repaid 10 points just because you donate 1 point. Look! How much have you lost, just like that? No one gives you 10 times the amount, right? What karma? Whose karma? You’d better do what’s the best for your benefits and without harming others.” She is the most critical.
The other friend said “it should be balanced. You do good things and don’t forget doing bad things.” 🤔 Gosh she is always the most confusing.
I said “I’m hungry. Let’s go dinner. Our brain needs to slow down.” Those three stopped arguing.
Night is always good for a chat with some friends whose heads contain different things whose heart is of one intension — to respect friendship.
Salaam. ♥️
Happy International Women’s Day (ranting)
Honestly I prefer to name it by either feminine or masculine rather than women and men. It’s not about what’s attached between your crotch that matters by being a human, it’s about the quality attached to your spirit and contribution made to society.
So, even if someone is born a woman, she won’t be able to appreciate other women as long as she only sees the other women’s physical body measurement as the indicators. And by doing so, she does discriminate other women in the essence for having non-essential indicators to appreciate them.
Whereas, at the same time I see many men around me respect and appreciate women simply because they know those women have the same opportunity to contribute for a better life. Or else, they discriminate based on sex or even any other thing attached to the women.
Ok, let’s agree though to call today as International Women’s Day and make the spirit of anti-discrimination based on anything possible be rekindled.
Happy International Women’s Day to all women who represent the symbol of femininity and to all men who become part of appreciating agent.
Journey of A Friendship Is To Know Yourself
Time runs, Beloved
Not flies. Its feet touch the ground,
Planting you deeply
To the journey. Feel the pace,
Beloved. The end is good.
————————————————————
Today’s video call with 6 best friends was at least 2 hours of stupidity in the brink of wisdom.
The talk of health of some of us and overall healthcare in our country has become both joke and contemplation.
One of us said that as a father of two he doesn’t want to be selfish thinking about his health too much. He wants to give the best to his children and if he has to leave them forever, his family won’t suffer of having too little. This oldest of all of us is always the funniest yet the wisest.
One of us said that whatever medical complaints she has, she wants to handle them now. She said she’d better know the diseases how much ever bad they are and do possible treatments soon rather than later when she is older. What a good anticipation!
Another said that he still enjoys everything freely. He called while chewing donuts with heavy chocolate and sugar toppings! What a joy!
Most of us don’t have serious medical issues except that the pandemic in the country is more happening that fear of it is more deadly than the virus itself.
Blahblahblah and hahaha continued when we talked about religions. Those who are religious made fun of us who are “not clear”. And we teased them who are “too clear-cut”.
Fun 2+ hours! Mood booster to welcome another week!
Hope we are all completing everything well.
Take care, crazy good friends! You’re blessed.
Sure we’ll still meet again in a better time! So sure!
💝
Friends Truly Taste Summer
A gate wide opens
Out to a meadow. Summer,
Show your charms to earth.
Not that I’m happy all the time but speak happy talk happy smile happy eat happy work happy has made me happier longer than before.
So why not?
Thanks for those humble and kind orbiting around me. So blessed for being some simple waza waza for each other! 💝
It is not easy there but you can do it!
This too shall pass!
Salam…. 🙏🏼
Lammie and Khanyisa, unconditional friendship
Lammie, Khanyisa, It is the least I can do. Friends are forever When no discrimination. Can I do? Need a try, sure!
Animals have taught me a lot about many things. One of those is unconditional friendship. Lammie and Khanyisa are a sheep and an albino elephant calf who have been friends without asking why their tails are differently shaped and attached, why their hairs are of different colours, why their teeth are of different length…. Language, religion, nationalities, and so on are never problems. They just grass, rest, play together. What a beautiful world!
If you wanna support Lammie and Khanyisa’s unconditional friendship, you can buy a mug with picture of them printed on it. Mine arrived today through DHL, welcoming me at the front door. Happy yay!
Thanks, Lammie and Khanyisa and HERD! You’ve been much smarter than many of my human kind. I’m sending love to you and your family….. 😘😘😘
Mrs Fondue
Good Swisss fondue is Not about cheese, bread or wine. It’s all chat and friends.
I missed one of my friends, Mrs Fondue whose face suddenly “flew around” for the past 2 months. Her number wasn’t active anymore. Called Mrs Fondue because she was the one introducing me to cheese fondue. Trying to contact people who worked around her with no result, I finally planned making cheese fondue and praying for her good.
Fondue was well served, not with the expected consistency but the taste is almost the same with my very first fondue in Cafe du Soleil.
Yet I could not enjoy this second fondue, even with air conditioner set to low temperature to bring autumn to this small living room. Still failed…. There was melancholic ambience striking me suddenly. No goosebump though 😁
The first fondue tasted greater than this. Maybe because I enjoyed it with Mrs Fondue who invited me to that “traditional” fondue cafe whose air was filled with warm laughter and greetings to the visitors.
This Mrs Fondue was an amazing yet unpopular lady, had done so much to help refugees from dangerous situation. We were amazed with what she and team did. Such a brave lady yet motherly and sweet she was!
She was a wise yet fun lady. She’s probably 15 years older than me but we could still chat like we were of the same age. Lucky to have met people like her in my life!
I’m praying for you, Mrs Fondue and family. If you are still here, I hope we still can see each other again. But if you’ve crossed the bridge, hope you’re smiling receiving my beautiful messages. Enjoy your fondue!
May all beings be happy.
Sharing Or Not?
At times you can share,
Others you shouldn’t. It may hurt.
Different point of view—
I haven’t shared food pics very often in Instagram since some good friends contacted and told me how hard it’s been for them to make ends meet in this pandemic.
One of them said he once had to lower down his pride by agreeing to receive a donation from Australia to feed his wife and children. Sad….
Another said to me “Oh, how nice to have time and cook whatever you wanna eat. Hope we can have that privilege.” I was shocked when she said that as what I had known she had a very good tourism business, and now I knew that she got tremendously affected by this pandemic. Tourism has been hard hit in this period of time.
Not one or two but many came to me to borrow money to survive their business. Double sad! I had to apologise and politely refused to help. Just last year I started limiting lending cash to others. Not that not trusting people but yeah I have been cheated financially by those called friends. Ya, I was stupidly generous and irresponsibly stupid 😂 It should come to an end.
So, with all those reducing showing food pictures in Instagram is the best I can do to help. It is to clear up the jealousy and also to look ordinary. People think you have much money when you eat well. They never know how hard you work for the food on the plate.
May all beings be happy.
You’ve Got A Friend – my mood
No matter what
You’ve got a friend….
Befriend with your own self first!
May all beings be happy.
The Shoes Are Waiting – ranting
Putting your feet in someone’s shoes isn’t as simple as putting a book at a shelf after reading it. Putting your feet in others’ shoes involve complication of thoughts and risks.
What if the size isn’t yours?
What if the smell isn’t into your tolerance?
What if the design doesn’t fit your feet type?
Is it safe? What if there are creepy crawly in the old shoes?
Is it healthy? What if the owner has skin problem?
And what if the owner doesn’t even let you put your feet there?
Stop!
What if you just have to be willing or not to put your feet in someone else’s shoes?
Period.
On GA822 before flying to my second home — Singapore
July 16, 2019 – 20:30
Home, House, Imagination
When I was 12 years old (I hope I remember that age correctly), I imagined of having a small cabin to live with my four best friends: Rosi, Ana, Nana, Nanik.
Then at the age of 22 I want to have a big two-storey house with luxurious furniture where I can welcome friends to chat things.
Getting older, around 35 I just wanted to have a house. Just a house, any kind of house as I was so tired of renting rooms. And, thanks God I bought a tiny home near river bank. A small house with two bedroom, enough for me an my cat to live in. It has a small garden to the right side of it – small, really small full with sand for neighborhood cats to poo and play. It has free walls inside for my orchids to hang…. And the front wall for my wijayakusuma to bloom happily. And, it has comfortable space for friends and family to stay overnight or just pay a short visit.
I am so thankful for what I am given in my life. I hope I still have a chance to share more with all my frineds and family and all animals around me.
Light is coiling around me, praying for the best.
My house is there to pray for me…. I’m here somewhere praying for my house.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you….
Erawan, Bangkok – March 16, 2017 – 22:16
Angkor Wat – old city
I visited Angkor Wat, Siem Reap of Cambodia last week with three of my friends – Mbak Roh, Mbak Endang and Agnes. We did quasi backpacking – why quasi? Well, we decided to travel light – they flew AirAsia which tickets were purchased one year ago – but pack things in pretty luggage.
We stayed in a cheap inn of USD35.5 per night instead of fancy Park Hyatt or Le Meridien and took tuk-tuk everyday instead of rented car. It was a cool journey!
Some pictures captured show the joy! Enjoy!
Singapore – August 28, 2016 – morning….
rike jokanan 
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