Gifts to You

These gifts, Beloved,
Peace and love hummed to loved ones
Living here and there

One of the Javanese and Islamic teachings that I will never leave for the rest of my life is sending gift of prayer containing peace and love to my loved ones wherever they are, whether they are physically wandering on earth or spiritually gathering around life.

I believe that my passing-away ancestors are living in different levels of consciousness (call it hell, heaven or somewhere in between up to your liking) and they are watching their offsprings without being able to directly communicating with us. They deserve my gift as they have been my line to get the chance to be here now. They deserve peace and love as they have done the best they could to draw a meaningful family tree. Yes, some might have made silly mistakes but hey that’s what Buddhism calls “karma”. Yes, some might have caused shameful stains on the family picture but hey that’s what Islam calls “alam syahadah”. Whoever and whatever they were, all of my ancestors deserve good wishes sung to them.

I also wish peace and love to those I love still breathing the air. Wishing all of them health and happiness. 💝

We Javanese Muslim will send gift by reciting some Javanese prayer closed with Alfatihah, a short chapter in the Quran containing peace, love, praise, forgiving, protection and guidance. A basket of beautiful wishes—

How light this heart is to be sure that all whom I love are well.

Alfatihah to all whom I love. You’re loved. You’re blessed. Don’t shop too much. 😁

Happy weekend!

born as part of a nation doesn’t make someone higher or lower – being born a Javanese, Aborigine, African, Arab, Chinese, English, Indian, Japanese, Korean, Sundanese, Vietnamese or whatever is a gifted tool to contribute the best quality of culture in sustaining and respecting humanity – respect yourself, respect other human beings 💕
if not respected (by you), your origin will be a boomerang (spun around hitting you) – be grateful for being born as you are, never wasted, fully loved, surrounded by beloved only if you accept who you are 💕

Guessing

Guessing, Beloved,
The least inaccurate points
Of mangosteen seeds—

lovely sweet manggis (mangosteen in English) – no child at my time disliked this fruit, to eat and to play guessing game – we children liked to go to Nasikah’s house to enjoy free mangosteens in harvest time 😍
how many seeds are inside? 5? 6? 6 of 1 big, 4 medium and 1 small!
inaccurate! it’s 5 of 1 big, 3 medium, 1 small! 😆

That’s what we call “tebak buah manggis”, guessing game to decide whether the number of sections at the bottom of the fruit accurately matches the number of seeds inside. Mostly matching, yet this time it is not! 😆 Life is sometimes unpredictable even with good database; anomaly is a rule whose patterns are not yet formulatable oops formulated by human beings — please excuse my English, I’m not a native. 🙃

Like someone we love. We thought they are 6, in fact they are 5.

Fair enough to say: seldom expect accuracy in estimation; better be sufficiently into the least inaccuracy so it won’t drop one down to abyss when finding inaccurate things. I’m trying to be wise as myself for myself about myself. 🥰

Oh dear, mangosteens!

Idyll

Idyll, Beloved,
Found in rural area;
Hidden heritage—

Saw a package in front of my door today. It had been there for several days as instructed to the courier while I was away for a biz trip. Three pieces of jarik batik (long fabric with traditional batik patterns) from Yogyakarta were delivered safe and sound.

Idyllic gift for myself for the hard work in the past one year. Thank you, dear self! 💕

💕 thank you
this handmade batik was crafted by Mbah Suhir, a 93 year old batik maker – truntum background with sido asih (combination of 2 classic patterns) – I’m blessed!

Truntum (depiction of thousands of jasmine flowers) symbolises life under divine guidance and peaceful life fragrant like jasmine. Sido asih symbolises living in love and compassion.

210*120 cm – shorter jarik is for male as he won’t put any pleats when wearing it
the one-sided black “sido asih” handmade by another senior batik maker (still trying to find her name) – I’ll keep this beauty with love 🥰
250*105 cm, classic batik – longer jarik is for female as she will make some pleats at one end of the cloth to beautify the lower apparel

While sido asih pattern bears common symbols everywhere in Java island, the color and the strokes show its place of origin. Black and thin lining is originated from Solo, white and bold lining is originated from Yogyakarta.

“nitik cakar ayam” two-sided classic batik handmade by Ibu Suminah (80 years old batik maker) 🥰

Nitik (literally means making dots/points) is an original batik pattern in Bantul district, Yogyakarta. Nitik “cakar ayam” (literally means chicken claw) symbolises someone who is good at providing good life for his/her family (hard working, prosper and wise).

Two-sided batik is such a luxury to have in modern day. It doesn’t always show the price; but it is more about the maker has to block both sides of the fabric and it doubles the time of craftsmanship. Most batik is one-sided nowadays.

Can’t wait to directly thank the batik makers for their love to Javanese culture.

Matur sembah nuwun, Mbah. Mugi penjenengan dipunbarokahi dyaning Gusti Allah Kang Maha Agung. 🙏🏼💕

Alfatihah

Poem, Beloved and I

Time is paper
With which poems are unrolled.

My beloved said
You need pens, I give you trees.
You need ink, I give you oceans.
Write love poems with love
Until you run out of paper.

I said
I need much paper
I want as much as I want
My love poems are trillions and more.

My beloved said
I won’t let you write forever
The last paper is not for you
It is for me to invite poets for a party
Where a special spread is ready.

I asked
How much paper will I get
Will you give me as much as I want
Will you let me write trillions of love poems?

My beloved said
Write as much as you want
I’ll give you as much as you write
You’ll get your paper for your trillions
As long as they’re yours.

My beloved said
Be dignified, write your own poems,
As the spread will be only for those
Not claiming from others’ names.

big lunch, mini spread for my hard work today – my parents’ message about how to enjoy luxury of life: be dignified to
“eat” what you’ve worked and share with love 🙏🏼

Little Bird

Little bird, dear love,
Telling her to soar then go home
To where her heart is—

Home. Is it a what, a who, a whom, a whose, a which, a when, a where or a how? She knows hers and it doesn’t always the same as others’. 💝

shared rice with a little bird in Cointrin Airport before boarding for Amsterdam then home – a trip worth doing she should repeat 🥰 …

Nuance

Nuance, Beloved,
Painting one heart in two hues;
Comparing two times—

Some songs like poem will stay in my heart and won’t die. One of them is Dewa’s Kangen.

Never getting bored of listening to it— Weekend is the best music box! 💝

Once’s version sounds sexier 💝
Ari’s earlier version sounds sharper in heart. So young! 🥰
Ari and Andra make it raw and pure!
live show – Ari’s version is still the best! 🥰

With Love

With love, Beloved,
All is done and completed.
How would she not thank?

one of the doors of my humble abode should be adorned with climbing rose like this 💝
and one of the windows, so when the window is opened I breathe love from the pink roses 💗

Love & Trust

What is love and trust?
Wind and water pushing boat
Sailing to a land—

Yes, love can come mysteriously like Capt Nemo’s Nautilus suddenly emerged from sea surface. She might love one that she doesn’t logically expect to love at all. Love is an active emotion. If she loves, she does. If she doesn’t love, she doesn’t. Accept and embrace it with its pain and foolishness.

Yet, trust can promote or demote one to or from a position like how Capt Nemo finally trusted Aronnax, Ned and Conseil as his main crew in the submarine. Trust is a living action. Test and investigate it with loyalty and integrity. If she trusts, she’ll promote the one to an inner circle. If she distrusts, she demotes one to outer layer.

Aaah! Love is always sweet in word— just that some people don’t have sufficient vocabulary to express and to understand. Trust is always inevitable in number — just that some people are accustomed to data manipulating to look good and so hiding the fact.

Still loving you though 💕 💕

May all beings be happy.

(from Pinterest)

Dream Home (lunch break)

Dream home, Beloved,
Sitting with all senses on,
Capturing moments—

Lunch break + very very heavy rain = early wish of birthday getaway to come true!

sitting here while writing a bunch of love letters to whomever I want – 2023
long chat in Ubud – 2024
tranquil nights in Angkor – 2025
ocean air breathing in Ninh Thuan – 2026
walking in the depth of souk – 2027

To be continued with more destinations in 2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2035, 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2044, 2045, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2050, 2051, 2052, 2053, 2054, 2055, 2056, 2057, 2058, 2059, 2060, 2061, 2062, 2063, 2064, 2065…. As if I knew how long I will wander around here? I hope to live as long as time is mentally and physically enjoyable with family and friends without bothering them.

Long life, fresh and sane!

Then came the calculation part…. A lot of coins to spend to comfortably celebrate that way in those particular places. Easy! Just need a clover pendant to make it happen. 😝

4-leaf good luck charm immediately wanted!!! to make dreams come true 🍀

Thanks for the rain and daydream. I know there is more than meets the eye! Life is so rich and I accept all the gifts.

So I Can Meet You

I don’t want to race.
Only safety that I wish
So I can meet you.

started late today and found the undercharged front lamp, decided to go back to the brighter track, safety first 🧷
brighter area near home is always the safest

Dream of You

A beautiful view
Conjured by moon, sunk by sun.
It feels faraway,
A dissipating shadow.
At least I dream about you.

Sunday, did you conspire with the sun to snap my dream? Never mind. I’ll call the moon again to get it back. 😄

Happy Sunday!

Freydoon Rassouli’s Alchemy of Love

Your Name

Your name, Beloved:
Air blanketing fragrant space,
Soil firming the stance—

Shakespeare said “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.”

He isn’t wrong. Yet he isn’t always right.

I call a name when rain is sweetly pouring down, call another name when day is scorching too bright and hot….

Why is it easier to call your name than my own? Is your name so strongly rooted that only it I can remember when it rains? Is it your name or is it you that stays with me?

Oh you….

Oh your name….

Salaam.

is the flying butterfly not anymore the caterpillar greedily eating before sleeping? am I still the un-named baby born by my mother? 💗

Why Space & Time

The depth of silence is
As deep
As ocean of possibilities.
Shaken, the ocean will splash
Drops of gifts.

Time once revealed
When the gifts will appear.
It once said
There is a moment in time.

Space once revealed
Where the gifts will arrive.
It once said
There is a point in space.

Spacetime once revealed
Why the gifts will engender.
It once said
There are reasons in life:
Unfortunately wrapped
In colours and shapes,
Often times disguising things:
A crow into a dove,
A wolf into a sheep,
A dumpsite into a garden,
A villainess into a heroine,
An evil witch into a kind queen,
Bent into straight—
Misleading this traveler’s direction.

Once it was said
There is
One
That she will find
Somewhere some time only if
She minds.

Dear, Light.
Only
You can reveal
True colours
True shapes
True hearts
True reasons.

Be deeply silent
Even in the crowd
Where ocean of possibilities
Is shaken
In this spacious time.

Hey!
The gift is relatively fair, Beloved.
Be ready.

🌊

when window nook is ready for daydreaming, no book, no paper, no gadget – just her welcoming gifts

Self Discovery (ranting)

Point zero, my love
Here now, unshakeable ground
After the earthquakes—

I’ve been a full time thinker for the past one week…. Thanks to the physical weakness brought by the virus! 🥰 And here is the ranting abridged 🙃

Life has always suggested me to walk through places where paradoxical situations exist and has made me weigh what life path should be chosen. Luckily life has always sent me angels (fallen angels included 😄) who remind me that life isn’t only about exploiting what’s considered lucrative and physically pleasant; it’s also about exploring what’s wising-up and spiritually enriching.

When I was young; books, courses, lectures, workshops were kind of “subscription” I had to shape a level of mental toughness. Yet there was exhaustion and anti-climax for intensity every now and then (good deed included 😄). Losing faith, difficulty to trust human beings and skepticism to almost everything triggered me to deconstruct my own mindset.

Another “point zero” came and brought a decision to take a course inspired by one friend named Eva (not one of my close friends but she is definitely one trusted human being). I promised to myself that this would be my LAST course to finally be unshakeable me.

I flew to Edinburgh and was driven from the airport to a place called Chisholme House by Mr Brix who became an excellent opening of my self re-discovery. He introduced me to the richness of self re-discovery even before the course started. That was when I felt so lucky to have read Ibn Arabi, Rumi and English literature although not extensively and to have learnt Javanese wisdom that is considered “local” by many of my friends (which I always disagree) as Mr Brix’ languages were using all those keywords in the repertoire from my literature reading and cultural wisdom. Indeed Mr Brix was a “gate” welcoming me to a true friendship or fellowship bonded by humanity.

The course was simply daily schedules for us to an experiencing life or “human beings who work” — physically, mentally, spiritually, socially in connection with their own self, other human beings and nature. Of course the classes was the superb! Collins, Hiroko and Aaron were excellent facilitators and to me they are role models of ordinary yet impressive human being! Collins was a loving husband and father cum the best administrator. Hiroko was a loving mother and wife cum an excellent painter! Aaron was an excellent chef cum wise philosopher! 💝

It was so normal a life that I felt so blessed. We woke up in the morning then took a bath or at least took ablution. We started the day with a group meditation — everyone: the course participants, kitchen staffs, office staffs, garden staffs, etc except those who overslept. Then we had breakfast — English breakfast! After that we started the class; the staffs started their duties. After that we had tea break then WORK! Work meant doing the assigned chores (garden, kitchen, house, laundry). After that class again then English lunch! Then lunch break for one hour. Class again. Mediation again. Work again. Afternoon tea. Personal time (we could go to the hill, forest, sleep, talk to staffs or participants, whatever). English dinner. Discussion time. Free time. Sleep…. Repeat.

Completing the “self re-discovery”, I found that life is like riding bicycle, balancing while moving. I lose, I win. I fall in love, I break heart. I get sick, I get cured. I trust, I distrust. I think, I feel. I work, I take a rest.

Balancing is about knowing the limit. I lose against someone/something but I gain wisdom. I fall in love at the same time I have to accept the unpredictable responses. I get sick then I will be cured. I trust with or without reasoning yet can also distrust because of the true or false reasoning. I think based on logic yet when logic doesn’t count, only feeling of acceptance will neutralise the situation. And, when I am tired, I should take time-out. Just like that!

And I actually graduated with flying colours from many “extra” lessons: doing laundry, washing dishes, house keeping, potato harvesting, making bread, cooking English lunch, preparing dining table, raking dry leaves, going up and down the hills in the rain, walking in the moorland, listening to silence, listening to others’ opinions, identifying and recognising true intelligent people, trusting the right people at the right time in the right place, respecting stupid idiot (myself included 😂), taking a bath in the cold morning, and more and more!

And yes, that was the last course in my life. Ordinary yet impressive, like what I always want myself to be to and for those having in touch with me.

I want to be back there not as a participant but as a guest in the English breakfast or lunch bringing a best friend who deserves an ordinary yet impressive life.

…. 💕

Thanks for today! 😴

Salaam…

farmhouse where participants and volunteers slept during the “Self Discovery” in Chisholme Institute (there are male house, female house and couple wing) – missing the place and good friends there 💝
the main house where we meditate, contemplate, brainstorm, do household chores, enjoy meal and good company during the “Self Discovery”
‘The Monument to Man”: this place is one of reminders for me to stay on this track: a track where life abundance isn’t always represented by or captured through social high class and luxury show off – ‘ve lived among those with abundance yet humbly bowing to the underprivileged – thank you for this decent life 🎀
hi, Edinburgh! I’m sure I’ll be back 🥰 next time with someone I love with heart and soul 😘

Torii

Torii, Beloved,
Opening from here to here
To be entered now—

I’ll always make tomorrow morning inevitable in life like a torii that connects here now and another here now. These happy steps are walking from torii to torii, with another pair of steps inevitably aligning with me.

Salaam.

💝

torii from pp #31 of James Norbury’s “Big Panda and Tiny Dragon”

Dirgahayu, Indonesiaku ke-77

Duhai, Indonesia. Serupa apapun engkau, kau adalah tempat lahirku. Walaupun saran dan nasehat bertaburan untuk menjadi pemegang status PR di rumah keduaku ini, aku tak goyah. Nggak papa…. PR atau bukan PR passport-ku tetap Indonesia. Hanya cinta dan hidup-mati saja yang boleh membuatku jadi PR atau pindah kewarganegaraan. Selain itu, no way!

Indonesiaku, terima-kasih telah menjadi tempat lahirku dan tempatku belajar hal-hal pokok untuk menjadi manusia utama. Kalau aku dilahirkan dan dibesarkan di negara lain, mungkin aku jadi orang yang bermewah-mewah dan tidak down to earth.

Indonesiaku, kemanapun aku pergi, kamulah darah yang mengalir di tubuh ini. Dimanapun aku tinggal, engkau tetap menjadi tujuan pertama pulang atau liburanku (ya setahun satu atau dua kali deh). Dengan siapapun aku bergaul, kamu tetap warna primerku.

Kecintaanku padamu bukan pada para pejabat buruk yang mengurusi ketatanegaraan. Kecintaanku tulus pada tanah, air, udara, rakyat dan makhluk di sekitarnnya.

Merdeka!

what a coincidence! this number is really escorting me this year
💝
didn’t attend this year’s flag-raising ceremony in the embassy because of this cute virus 💝 next year I will, bismillah!

Clay Jar

Broken clay jar, Love,
A love letter torn apart.
Message of a heart—

How broken you are, I will always love and respect you as a clay jar that records history and memory, in the hands of an ignorant they become waste and rubbish, in the hands of wise lessons and wisdom.

I’ll take your broken clay jar to kintsugi craftsmen in near future trip just in case they can also repair broken clay jar. 🤭

Otherwise, I’ll keep it in my mini cabinet of curiosity to be a reminder that a heart is so fragile or so broken and so worth handling with care.

Salam…. 🙏🏼

RC Gorman’s