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Weeping Ney – free verse

Ney….
Your song pulled me down in to the depth of abyss
Gliding with no weight,
Free falling –

Ney….
Your tone touched me on the hollow emptiness
Craving for sensations,
Crashing on nothingness.

Ney….
Your call dragged me along the path that I know well, yet
I am lonely and blind,
Waiting for a map.

Ney….
Do you know I’ve been here all my life,
My breath,
My step,
My tear,
My despair,
All of mine.

Ney….
You are the breeze that sweeps my draught
Then soars;
The dewdrop that breaks my morning
Then wakes up;
The spark that lights up my flame
Then burns.
The dirt that buries my hope
Then grows.

Ney….
It is you
That swirls like earth spiraled upwards by tornado,
And travels afar before it hits the door of heaven.

Ney….
I am taking your hands.
Your weeping cries will always accompany my journey
To you, Ney.

Phnom Pehn – August 2, 2019 – 22:45

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Dear Water – haiku

If I can hold you,
In the dark – your clear, fresh flow…
May I? Dear, Water.

 

Temasek – April 13, 2019 – 11:15pm

green-canyon

Picture borrowed from https://phinemo.com/20-destinasi-wisata-di-indonesia-yang-sebaiknya-kamu-kunjungi-sebelum-menikah/green-canyon/

New Year’s Resolution – serious ranting

My home is near the MRT railway, every five minutes two 6-car trains will go to both directions. And, today they do their routine of life. But there is something different, like they know it is almost 2019 and want to celebrate the year exchange.

The trains sound more merrier.

And the vehicles in the crossroad just down floors below run like no energy is lacking or no drowsiness greets the drivers.

Around where I live there are a lot of trees that I hope won’t be cut down for long years to come. I love them as they are the ones making my breath lighter and healthier. And tonight I feel they send out purer air to me.

And there is a reservoir that is cleaned daily by the boatmen on the blue boats. It still looks dark at night but the water reflection is clearer and more magnificent.

All do more magic tonight…. Because it is new year tomorrow. And I am infected by their spirit of best performance of now here and so I want to be in the harmony with Nature now here and next year.

I might not be able to get a mentor that I expected but I will make myself the best mentor for myself to be more professional – clarity on what I do, purity on what I intend. I might not be the best of all but I will make myself the best version of me – committed and true. I might not get everything I wish but I will make myself to get what’s the best I deserve.

Tonight I welcome 2019 at home looking at my plants in the small balcony, going back and forth the fridge to get cool water – I don’t drink beer fyi, seeing all the passers by, enjoying the dogs’ smell from the one living under my balcony. The air, water, cloud, unseen sky, shy rain, greenery in the black black new year’s eve, all people celebrating far away with the fireworks, all the animals with shelters or without, all the blessed life under the sun, and all

To you I wish a….

…. Happy New Year 2019! The best is welcoming you.

I know next year is mine, too.

Temasek – December 31, 2019 – 11:18pm

 

IMG_3670

New Year…. Again? – ranting

December 31, 2018
Last day of 2018
It is another new year tomorrow.
I haven’t even made my resolution.
What resolution? Still need it?
I thought most of my resolution was failure and bursting bubbles,
So better leave 2019 without specific wishes.

Just wanna be a better version of me.
That’s it.

Oh, Life.
You’ve run so fast, dragging me to nowhere but here now.

Happy New Year, everyone.
Live your life to the fullest!

  • expecting longer rant tonight 🙂

Temasek – December 31, 2018 – 7:38pm

 

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Secret – ranting

And from now on I will have to keep it secret.

Sometimes you don’t have to tell anyone what you think.
And I decided not to tell people what I think about a person if not about important things.

Sometimes you don’t have to share how you feel to anyone.
And I decided to not share anything if not important things.

But what is not important about your life?
Everything is important.
So, wanna expose everything?
Hmm….
Ok, yet priority makes it simple.

Yeah, I decided to filter what to be told and shared.
Gosh!
What an unimportant ranting mine is!

Happy holidays!

Singapore – December 23, 2018 – 12:19am

IMG_4658

Caged Bird – free verse

My father had a black starling.
It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood.
We hoped it could talk.

Our family moved
To a much smaller home.
Our starling got neglected
How much I can feel the guilty is like a teary moment to a bloody heart!

The black starling got a home
Bigger:
My mother’s relative.

It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood, half we gave to it.
We hoped it could talk.

If you are dead, dear Black Starling,
Be in a peaceful moment.
Fly with your beautiful wings, black and shiny!
Feed your life with all the fresh memories.
Forget all the cages and bars.
Be the air
Be the vapour
Be the atmosphere
Be our silent guidance to the freedom out of this cage.

Thank you for your will to be our prisoner
Thank you for your sincerity to be our exhibition
Thank you for your sacrifice to feed our ego
Thank you for your life to complete our purity.

See you across the bridge.
You’ve met him, right?
Tell him you forgive us.

Yours truly,

Me

Shanghai – Dec. 15, 2018 – 12:05 noon is here

img_1737

The Theophany of Perfection – Muhyiddin Ibn ‘Arabi

The Theophany of Perfection
Muhyiddin Ibn ‘Arabi

Listen, O dearly beloved!
I am the reality of the world, the centre of the circumference,
I am the parts and the whole.
I am the will established between Heaven and Earth,
I have created perception in you only in order to be the object of My Perception.
If then you perceive Me, you perceive yourself.
But you cannot perceive Me through yourself.
It is through My Eyes that you see Me and see yourself,
Through your eyes you cannot see Me.

Dearly beloved!
I have called you so often and you have not heard Me.
I have shown Myself to you so often and you have not seen Me.
I have made Myself fragrance so often, and you have not smelled Me,
Savorous food, and you have not tasted Me.
Why can you not reach Me through the object you touch
Or breathe Me through sweet perfumes?
Why do you not see Me? Why do you not hear Me?
Why? Why? Why?

For you My delights surpass all other delights,
And the pleasure I procure you surpasses all other pleasures.
For you I am preferable to all other good things,
I am Beauty, I am Grace.
Love Me, love Me alone.
Love yourself in Me, in Me alone.
Attach yourself to Me,
No one is more inward than I.
Others love you for their own sakes,
I love you for yourself.
And you, you flee from Me.

Dearly beloved!
You cannot treat Me fairly,
For if you approach Me,
It is because I have approached you.
I am nearer to you than yourself,
Than your soul, than your breath.
Who among creatures
Would treat you as I do?
I am jealous of you, over you,
I want you to belong to no other,
Not even to yourself.
Be Mine, be for Me as you are in Me,
Though you are not even aware of it.

Dearly beloved!
Let us go toward Union.
And if we find the road
That leads to separation,
We will destroy separation.
Let us go hand in hand.
Let us enter the presence of Truth.
Let It be our judge
And imprint Its seal upon our union
For ever.

 

Temasek – December 5, 2018 – 20:53 (when I’m sick)

Picture is borrowed from mezquita.html

mezquita_interior_cabecera

Tersandung Cahaya – pengingat (Indonesian)

Tak akan lepas dari ingatanku kutipan dari seorang guru: Sesama murid dilarang memberikan rapot. Artinya, tidak perlu menilai orang-lain dalam perjalanan ini. Masing-masing memanggul salipnya sendiri, setiap diri menangisi lukanya, beban dan segala derita yang didukungnya sendiri. Tak elok menganggap bebanmu lebih berat dan hebat daripada yang lain — menangis dalam diam menelan tapi tertawa saat ada yang mengajak melihat lebih tajam meminjam mata sesama.

Pun, ketika kau melihat diri sebagai pembawa cahaya.
Lalu kau menilai siapa yang membawa cahaya dan siapa yang membawa kegelapan, kau puja pembawa cahaya (versimu) dan kau sentil pembawa kegelapan (versimu). Aduhai, lalu kau menjadi pengamat gelap-terang. Seakan kau paling gape tentang gelap dan terang-Nya.

Kepahitanmu sendiri tak kau tilik, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus menutup diri supaya tak mengendusnya.
Kebijaksanaanmu bagai puncak ilmu, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus memicingkan mata memahami kebenarannya.
Kehalus-budianmu bagai elusan malaikat, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu bagai tercucuk duri-duri tajam sakit linu ngilu hingga di dasar jiwa.
Kebahagiaanmu bagai warna pelangi, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu ketakutan kehilangan warna karena tak mampu mengekspresikan diri secara merdeka.

Tapi kupaham, ini hanya spectrum cahaya.
Biar dipandang sebagai spectrum gelap-Nya. Tiada mengapa….
Aku tinggal di sini, di gelap-Nya supaya dapat menonton yang sedang dikucuri kemenangan akan kesadaran cahaya. Aku ada di kesadaran spectrum lainnya dan aku bahagia. Tiada mengapa….
Kubahagia untuk kalian….

Bagaimana jika nanti kau terkurung gelap?
Bagaimana jika tersandung cahaya?
…. Jika ternyata kau terserimpet cahayamu sendiri?

Mengapa tak pernah kau panggil aku ke rengkuhanmu sebelum kau caci?
…. tak kau sapa aku sebelum kau hakimi?
…. tak kau tanyai sebelum kau namai?
Cahayamu mulai nyerimpet dari awal perjalanan kita.
Terlalu silau lalu menyilapkan.
Terlalu dekat hingga menghanguskan.

Tidak ada sesal di rasaku.
Tidak ada maaf akan kukirimkan,
Sebelum kau dapatkan cerlang dari gelapku.

Biar kubahagiai cahayamu.
Sampai kau temukan spectrum yang bening untuk menengok dirimu sendiri, rasamu sendiri.

Runtuh satu pilarmu.
Kurengkuh diriku sendiri, kupersembahkan pada Kanjeng Nabi. Dalam sunyi.

Lagi, kuingat kata guruku “dilarang memberi rapot pada sesama murid” dan akan kulakukan selama aku dalam spectrum cahaya-Nya.

Duh Gusti, mugi paringo ing margi kaleresan
Kados margining menungso kang manggih kanikmatan
Sanes margining menungso kang paduko la’nati

Shollu ‘alaa Sayyidinaa Muhammad….

Temasek – 13 Mei 2018 – 02:07 pagi

Spectrum.2400.1800.S.G

Picture borrowed from Wikipedia.org/wiki/Datei:Spectrum.2400.1800.S.G.png

 

Bold Petals – haiku

Bold petals of red
Roses among thorns dry out
By the Wind of North.

GH Jakarta — May 8, 2018

Dry red rose in autumn garden top view. Flower in fall season sad autumn mood. Wilted rose flower closeup above view shot with copyspace.

https://www.123rf.com/photo_64952693_beautiful-dark-red-rose-in-the-garden-selective-focus-vintage-color-dying-plant-in-autumn-sad-fall-m.html?fromid=b2FvVE5zTW5DRTJwRm93ZFJsV0FOZz09

How – ranting

I’m almost 50?
Gosh! Am I that near to what is called half a century? it gives me goosebump!
What have I done?
To my beloved parents?
To my beloved sisters?
To my beloved brothers?
To my friends?
To my country?
To humanity?
To….

To myself?

Last month I visited a good friend and found more things about her. She has done so much in her life.
She helped me and her colleagues grow professionally.
She did many things to help people in her industry.
She did so much to her mother especially when her mother was in the deathbed.
She travels to see many places.
She plays piano.
She plays violin.
She plays golf.
She hangs out with friends.
She read spiritual books.
She always comes up with solutions of problems around her.
She dedicates her life to humanity.
She does many many things that I can even only imagine I can do with my mini courage.

Once I told her “My Friend, I think you will not regret your life when you die.”

And she said “You’re right, Rike. I won’t regret my life when I die. I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.”

She said to me, “Be happy. Do something that you have wanted to do but you haven’t. Hey, what about taking music classes?”

Going out from her apartment, I could not stop thinking of what I should do to make my life meaningful for myself and for those I love that I leave when I die.

Life is short and I’ve gotta do something.

Thanks, my Friend for being an inspiration to me.

I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.

Singapore – April 29, 2018 – 02:39

The picture below is of Fifi (the black and white) and Chocho (the ginger), kittens in my Mom’s home. Chocho died of suffering for his back on April 23, 2018 at around 11:15am Jakarta time. Thank you, Chocho for telling me over and over again that you lived happily and died happy. Thank you, my dear kitten. See you across the rainbow bridge….

img_3504

Faces – haiku

Facets and faces
On diamonds and humans are
Overt covert beauty —

===

Can you see the real things behind the things? You might be able or not but the thing is there you know it or not. Existence is not about the humans’ ability to see through, existence is about that it is there and that’s it. You’ve gotta to reach the fact that you believe what’s true is true, what exists exists without judging what’s true and what exists. My homework for myself.

Temasek – April 28, 2018 – 14:04

Train – haiku

Connected and long,
It moves on a rail towards
A destined station.

===

Like a train, a training is an un-broken chain of programs a trainee should undergo. Trainee shall follow instructions in the assigned modules as guided by the trainer. Alas! Long. Connected. Tested. Goal.

Yet we shall get certified by a licensed party eh?

Singapore – April 27, 2018 – 18:31

Forget – ranting

I’m a frequent flyer, constantly the whole year. I’ve got good frequent flyer points of course but that’s not what I want to share about my flight.

It is how I deal with it is more interesting…. Or annoying?

I used to be an early riser, now I wake up just on time without having spare time to step my feet on the floor gracefully. I just jump up from the bed and rush to the restroom then prepare my next schedule.

With such a hurry, I forget something sometimes. Sometimes is not a good expression — so, let’s say seldom. No, just take sometimes ‘coz seldom means slightly better quality — it’s not though.

Ok, I forget what?

I have some experience when I forget to wear shoes to fly out of Singapore. For vacation, no shoes is ok except for the cold weather but for business trip…. You don’t have a choice but wearing shoes and if you forget your shoes, you’ve gotta buy them or borrow them from heaven knows who and heaven knows it is shoe shop.

Once I forgot bringing shoes and I decided to buy a pair of sneakers that I now have to wear. It was a good chance for me to know that pig skin can be made for shoes. Pigskin is much softer for suede shoes. With the various colours offered, I had no doubt to buy one pair until the shopkeeper said to me “Ma’am, they are made of pig skin. I suggest you not buy them, just to be safe ‘coz we are Muslim”. What?! Then I bought a pair of polyester-base sneakers. Now I think I should have bought the pigskin thing!

Then another time I forgot to bring shoes again. No choice (again), I had to buy a new pair. This time I went to a shoe shop where many leather base shoes are displayed. No pigskin, no sneakers, only boots and nicely-cut female shoes and sandals. I decided to buy loafers that look very elegant.

I wore them for a two-day meeting and an occasion. I was so happy…. Until I realised that I traveled for a business over the weekend with two different agenda: one for in-house meeting and the other one after the weekend for a field tour. A field tour! Then I couldn’t wear my new shoes. Should I buy another pair again?

Lesson learned: never forget. Never forget your shoes. Never forget your trip purpose. One important thing: never forget that you are forgetful now.

Thanks, God for my being forgetful. I’m happy that I’m forgetful so I can just say “I’m sorry I forgot.” Gosh! Now I know why people forgetting is given allowance to skip some duties.

Whoa! I left my toiletries in the hotel room. I forgot again!

Thanks again, God!

Jakarta – April 22, 2018 – 07:00

Picture borrowed from https://m.ebay.com/itm/Mens-Florsheim-Black-Leather-Tassel-Slip-on-Loafer-Shoes-Sz-7-1-2-D-fw226-/152823959836?_mwBanner=1

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