How – ranting

I’m almost 50?
Gosh! Am I that near to what is called half a century? it gives me goosebump!
What have I done?
To my beloved parents?
To my beloved sisters?
To my beloved brothers?
To my friends?
To my country?
To humanity?
To….

To myself?

Last month I visited a good friend and found more things about her. She has done so much in her life.
She helped me and her colleagues gro professionally.
She did many things to help people in her industry.
She did so much to her mother especially when her mother was in the deathbed.
She travels to see many places.
She plays piano.
She plays violin.
She plays golf.
She hangs out with friends.
She reads spiritual books.
She always comes up with solutions of problems around her.
She dedicates her life to humanity.
She does many many things that I can even only imagine I can do with my mini courage.

Once I told her “My Friend, I think you will not regret your life when you die.”

And she said “You’re right, Rike. I won’t regret my life when I die. I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.”

She said to me, “Be happy. Do something that you have wanted to do but you haven’t. Hey, what about taking music classes?”

Going out from her apartment, I could not stop thinking of what I should do to make my life meaningful for myself and for those I love that I leave when I die.

Life is short and I’ve gotta do something.

Thanks, my Friend for being and inspiration to me.

I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.

Singapore – April 29, 2018 – 02:39

The picture below is of Fifi (the black and white) and Chocho (the ginger), kittens in my Mom’s home. Chocho died of suffering for his back on April 23, 2018 at around 11:15am Jakarta time. Thank you, Chocho for telling me over and over again that you lived happily and died happy. Thank you, my dear kitten. See you across the rainbow bridge….

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Direction – haiku

Much a do ’bout it
Ripples in a pool have brought
A Star. Guide me please.

I might not involve emotions in my devotion but I mean it. Never ask me to love you coz I don’t. Never force me to long for you coz I don’t. My realm is so much different from yours. Mine is far under the bottomless abyss, yours might be in heaven. Leave me coz I don’t have a promise.

I love myself and that’s just it.

Temasek – March 1, 2018 – 19:57

Passed Away

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Our dear Moppy passed away on March 26, 2017 at around 12:14pm Jakarta time. Not a good news for us but we have to face it. He’s lived comfortably in his past years.

I couldn’t write a romantic letter for him earlier as I was too sad to say things about him.

Now that I can write things about him, very little though and not representing my big emotion.

He is happy and comfortable now – happier and more comfortable than when he was in his sick body on earth. And, he is still watching us especially watching Karin Franken who had been taking care of him for his last time before he died. Thank you, Karin – that is what Moppy has said every single day even now.

Moppy, you’ve been our dear dog. Special in your own way, like each of your human buddies are special in our own ways.

Moppy, you’ve changed my perception about dogs. You’ve changed my actions on the animal welfare. You’ve changed my thinking constelation – making me more aware about why we are here….

Moppy, again thank you…. Unlimited thank you.

Moppy, please forgive me for not visiting you for so long…. I know you know why I didn’t come. For you to know that you’ve always been in my diary and in my HEART.

Moppy, be good. Run free! So long, my buddy!

Salaaam….

Temasek – April 2, 2017 – 16:36

Greek’s 40th Days Leaving Us Behind

40 days ago our dear cat lady, Greek went across the bridge and today we are remembering her being part of us.

 

She was such a beauty, dignity yet rebel and free soul. Oh yeah, free soul she was! She would hunt anytime she wanted and brought the hunted to us as gifts: grasshopper, flies, dragonflies, lizard, birds name it she would be proud of her hunting skill.

 

Once we had a guest with one teenager who was trying to protect the hunted bird – the bird was still alive, very weak and desperate – our guest freed the bird and Greek was in rage! She didn’t attack but she wouldn’t stop wandering around the house shouting until my Mother took the tiny cat to her hugs. She was calming in my mother’s hands.

 

Greek was such a love to all of us. Everybody poured her with abundant love and care. My Brother would always ask “Where is Greek?” everytime he visited my mom. My nephews and nieces would have the same question.

 

But Greek wouldn’t love children. She was scared of those rascals’ shouting and cheering and jumping and being too excited. Then she would stay away the whole day giving up the food. She would be back when all those kids were gone. My mom would be worried….

 

Greek was an alarm clock for my Mother. She would wake her up especially for night prayer. She would kiss my Mother to wake her up. Failed with kisses, she would scratch my mother’s body. Failed with the scratches, she would step on my mother’s head with her soft meows. My mother would prepare food and pray accompanied by the tiny alarm clock.

 

Greek was also great sleeper. She would sleep when the rest of us worked!

 

And a great eater…. Pick great eater! She didn’t take not fresh food. All of her food must be fresh from the storage. She would not eat her own leftover. All must be new! And new it was for our beloved princess Greek.

 

Greek, too many things we save in our memory about her.

 

You are loved. You are remembered.

 

We know you leave us as you wished. You made the decision and we just felt the broken heart to say goodbye.

 

Greek, your graveyard is just some steps from our backdoor. We can visit you whenever we want. We first got so sad but you always came once in while making sure that we are ok and we now realize that you were leaving clean and happy.

 

Please send our loving regards to Bob, Grace, Greece, Greg, and all other beloved animals you meet and greet there across the rainbow bridge.

 

Please cut your worry. We are praying for your good. Please pray for us, too.

Now your friends are sitting in our porch Everyday but they don’t want to stay home like you. They come to have meal and sleep somewhere we don’t know. Please make sure they are fine, our angel…..

 

Greek, this is your 40th days leaving us. You will be our guiding light, won’t you?

Till we meet again, my dear. Love you soooooooo much!!! Warm regards from me, Ibu, Mbak Andri, Mbak Yuda, Mas Yogi and all…. The rainbow slides are ready….! Woohooo!

Yogyakarta – June 19, 2016 -10:30am

A Visit To Moppy & Friends

Last weekend I went to Jakarta to meet our beloved fellow creature named Moppy. He is a dog to whom my love will always flow even later when he is gone. He’s survived a cancer — not surviving by curing but let me tell you that he is still alive although with a very painful wound in one part of his plane. He is though strong enough to survive for more than one year after he was rescued.

And, I always miss him wherever I am….
Last Saturday night we visited him.
He was sleeping very soundly. Oh, my Moppy boy. You are still there!
I know you bear the pain because you love your very mother, the sweet lady who is always there for you.

Moppy is ok, not really ok but he is struggling. And no plan to put him to sleep…. He might have been put to sleep if he is not living where he is living now. Moppy is just stubborn to live his cancer…. 🙂

Moppy is still happy. Eating very well. Wagging his tail when meeting human surrounding him.

Moppy, I love you!!!

And when he saw me…. He looked happy…. Nothing I can say but “Hey dude, how are you?”

And, he said “I am ok, you see I survive longer than you predicted. Gotcha!”

I wanted to sing for him but it was late night…. Nobody wanted to hear my tunes. Then I just sang in my heart, looking at his eyes talking to him.

Moppy is now skinnier.
I just pray he is ok.
As ok as he is now when he decides to leave.
Don’t wait.
Please don’t wait.
Let go. Please let go.
We love you wherever you are. You are always loved.

If we don’t meet in my next visit, I’m ok and you should be, too.
Just go…. As you’ll welcome all of us in the next gate.

Moppy, I love you….

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Singapore – May 31, 2016 – 1:19am

And It is A New Cycle, Greek….

Our dear cat, Greek just went across the rainbow yesterday May 10 15:15 Tulungagung time. She’d been sick for the past two weeks — one bump inside her stomoch above hind legs had become bigger and bigger, made her weak and her body coul not hold it anymore….

…. We said goodbye today…. Greek, thank you for having shared your happiness, joy and purity with our family. It is not as long as we expect but it’s been a beautiful connection.

I was not there so much with you as I’m in Singapore and you’re in Indonesia with mom and my sisters…. But truly I love you with all my heart! I just planned to see you next week. To hug you….

Such a beautiful soul you are.
We won’t forget you.
Your playfulness, cuteness, chubbyness, all quality in yours is just bondng us stronger with you.

Now you must be above, looking at us…. Oh looking at me especially…. 🙂
You are saying that you are fine, you are happier and more united with everything. Salaam for you, my dear Greek.

You’re just like air…. I’m breathing you.
You’re just like sunray…. Shining on me….
You’re just like water…. I’m fresh by you.
Now, you are more real.
Ever real. Forever real.

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Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Forgive us for not making you alive for so long, but we’re sure it is also your choice.
I’m sorry….
Thank you, Greek.

 

Say our warm love and sweet regards to Bob, Greece, Greg and all our family members across the bridge.

See you in a better place and time.

We love you so much.

Soul is soul. We cry over the plane that we can’t touch with our body but the soul is always there, lingering gracefully and we still can feel it with our “other” body.
We lose our beloved parents, children, brothers, sisters or pets that we think leave us forever but truly they are here and still close to us if we realise.
Salaam…. to all Souls who rest for the next cycles, rest in peace…. 🙏🙏🙏💞💞💞🎈🎈🎈

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Singapore – May 12, 2016 – 4:19pm

Crazy About (Tergila-gila)

Have you ever been so crazy about something?
Just to let you know, I am now crazy about one thing.
And the thing is nothing.

 

===== (versi Bahasa Indonesia)

 

Pernahkah kalian tergila-gila pada sesuatu?
Sekadar berbagi tahu, ingsun sedang tergila-gila pada satu hal.
Hal itu bukan apa-apa.

Temasek – January 9, 2016 – 3:11am

I Miss Moppy

Sometimes love is just a weird feeling that bobs up and down in the consciousness…. Above the surface of emotion, I’ve missed a dog that is lying down under a wooden sofa spending his happy days, thanking Universe for the second chance….

Moppy, do you know that deep down in my heart your name is echoing against any possible walls, unlimited….

You are blessed….

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How are you boy? I hope you are in good shape, though I know you are not perfectly shaped.

Do you know I miss you? Yes, I know you know I do….

Please be happy, count your days in joy before you decide to go across the bridge.

When you are ready to go, please whisper to me. Don’t say good bye, just say good start. Touch my heart with your warm love.

Moppy, you’ve been a good dog. Not that good but you don’t make a lot of complaints and you’ve strongly survived. A tough, stubborn dog you are. A real buddy in a low tide. You make us keep going.

Moppy, if we don’t have time to meet before you go — or before I go — please always remember I love you. I know you love me, too….

Moppy, you still refuse to be bathed? Gosh! Such a selfish dog 🙂

But that’s ok as long as you are clean…. You are wiped, right? Don’t say no! 🙂

Moppy, you’ve taught me a lot of things.

To be strong

To forgive

To accept the worst

To let go………………………………………………………………………………………..

To love

Thank you, Moppy….

 

I can’t stop loving you. Let’s exchange blessings through the wind….

Salaam….

 

Temasek – December 14, 2015 – 10:16pm

Bed of Death

I never deny that I was afraid of death. I don’t know what will happen after death. Will there by heaven and hell? Am I going to hell and how long will I stay there? Oh gosh! It really makes me crazy.

Religion says there will be judgement to put me to fire or garden of Eden. And, this doctrine is still haunting me; less often now though. Some others say that there will be another a recycled karma, I’ve gotta go back to life to repay what’s not done in current portion. Some others say nothing will happen after death, just nothing — I don’t even know what they mean by nothing. Some others say they don’t care…. There might be the others that say things we never know.

Death….
Many of my friends passed away, in many different modes: sick, old age, killed, accident….

If I may choose what my bed of death, I will say at home with someone I know and they know what’s death trully is, not people who pretend knowing what it is…. A real bed of death.

Why am I talking about death?

I remember some sweet animals in their beds of death, they know they are weakening but they are struggling. Bima the cat, Moppy the dog and many more cats and dogs…. They struggle and fight to survive from the violence od human beings and from their old age and sickness under human’s good treatment.

For the cats and dogs and other animals struggling to survive from human beings’ violence, please be strong and be patient…. I pray that you are in the right path and you know it. Please, please, please radiate good energy. Please don’t be afraid of death like I was. Death is a gate, a true gate to meet the beloved before transitting to a better space.

I know bed of death is not always a bed surrounded by beloved ones but please please please know that you are all surrounded by angels flapping their wings like a group of colibri…. Happily singing songs of love and peace welcoming their soul leaving the earthy life.

Bima the cat, you can choose what you want. Leaving or staying won’t give you pain at all…. It is a path of learning, learning to let go of loved ones. Like you, I’m learning to do and still fail while you succeed….

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Moppy the dog, hello there…. I miss you who struggle to survive there in Jakarta with your beloved family. I hope we can meet again before you leave…. Just let go, boy. We just love you wherever you are.

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Bed of death…. Now it is below those beloved rescued animals.
Next time, it will be below me….

Bed of Death, you may come. But please give me time to pay all my debts.

Salaam, Bed of Death.

Remembrance of Bed of Death, Temasek – October 15, 2015 – 12:32am

Blacky and Amie

I support animal lovers and rescuers by praying for them or when I’m able I’d like to donate or accompany them to take care of those animals. But honestly I mostly support them from a distance…. The lowest level of caring but the best I can.

About two weeks ago a friend of mine texted me to pray for Blacky, a little cutie pie that was suffering from vomitting after every meal of his. Blacky, a black-with-white-spots kitten was waiting for exchanging blessings with me.

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This is Blacky, when he was up and around.

Blacky was transported by his mommy named Amie by bus for about 3 hours. What a lovely journey for Blacky and Amie the mommy….! To get him cured. Vet said that Blacky suffered from kidney disfunction. Or, at least that was the result after some examination by the vet plus X-Ray.

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Blacky and mommy Amie

Mommy had to go home to Tangerang, Banten because she had to work. But Blacky ought to stay — he was exhausted and needed some rest because of Tangerang – Jakarta trip and his sickness. Then it was decided to put Blacky in an animal clinic in Kemang.

IMG_2884IMG_2888IMG_2887 Blacky with siblings — all those sweet creatures

Blacky was not getting better. He kept vomitting and decided to leave, he was departing to the land across beautiful ocean. On his last day he ate a little and got positive energy support from another friend of mine. But Blacky really wanted to leave. He was happy and still is now.

Blacky felt the love of mommy Amie and thanked the Universe for sending her to take care of him in his very short life span. He was serving himself as a cat and it was his best serviceat that time. He would love to serve a better role in his next span of life and the Universe already grants his wish.

He will be borne as a boy or a girl who gets so much love…. Namaste….
He will be borne as a boy or a girl who is raised by loving and caring parents…. Namaste.
He is blessed and giving blessings.

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Breastfed together to mommy cat

Thank you Blacky for being present in my life although we never met face to face…. I feel the love of yours and mommy Amie’s love.

Please be safe in your trip to your better future. Til we meet again….

Jalan Putri Hijau, Medan – October 2, 2015 – 12:23am

Google – Father’s Day

Do you celebrate Father’s Day? Frankly, I myself don’t. But today I found Google commemorated Father’s Day and I’ve got amazed with the green animated doodles….

So sweet of how they show the father-child bonds. Thanks Google for reminding me of how much my father loved me…. I love you so much, Bapak.

Just to share with you some screenshots captured by my Mac.

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Penang – June 21, 2015 – 12:16am

Wall

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Wall.”

Walls are massive construction that will keep you separated from the other side of them. Once you can penetrate the walls, you can discover what’s the secret….. But, why so curious? You are in the inside: whichever side you are in, that’s where the other siders want to know. Be there, the walls don’t mean anything.  🙂

Of my collections, I have some wall pictures: inn ancient buildings that have shown sustainability. Artistic, precise and long-lasting….. in new buildings that shown simplicity. Simple, short-timed but still beautiful…..

IMG_0102 A cement wall with oblong portholes, decorated with cat’s butt

IMG_0758A wooden wall with glasses, as background of grooming cat – small praying house

_DSC0879 A stone wall with relief, Borobudur

_DSC0977 Granite walls of Nagoya castle – Japanese precision

_DSC1005 A stone wall – precision composed in roughness front gate of nagoya Castle

Temasek – March 14, 2015 – 6:21am

Exchanging Blessings With The Gentle Giants

I went to Oslob, Cebu, Philippines — for whale shark watching last week. Butanding is the local language for whale shark (Rhincodon Typus). I wanted to exchange blessings with them.

With Michelle and Jerry – a tour guide and a driver – I left Mactan at 5am.

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Deciding not to plunge in to the water, I didn’t bring any swimsuit. Ok, a boat was rented….

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The boatman is part of the conservation team…. See the T-shirt worn.

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Many people already swam around something…. A group of butanding enjoying their breakfast

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The gentle giant was peeping below my boat. Please let me offer you my love, dear butanding….

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Look at the spots on the body….

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…. on the tail

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He is deeply, seriously giving his blessings…. Or her blessings….

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Blessings to the feeder on the boat….

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To the onlookers on and beneath the water…..

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And, to me….

Before I finally left the site, I put both my feet into the water and prayed in my heart, telling huge blessings then leaving them into the sea. Thank you, butanding…. For the blessings we exchange.

Singapore – February 15, 2015 – 4:48am

For more information about whale shark, please go to:

http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/whale-shark/

Beautiful Greek & Handsome Greg

It is not Greek from the Europe.

She is our beautiful Greek and our handsome Greg – two cats our ours raised by my family.

The most beautiful girl and handsomest guy in our humble abode….

One female and one male felines that share their happiness and joy with us in life.

Greek, thanks for your cheerful hello when we get up, for your quick snatch when we throw the rope, for innocent look when we don’t give you enough, for your touch with the fur when you want even more rubs, for everything making us smile and (pretend to be) upset….

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Mew…. Your soft voice, Greek….

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Saw her and her caretaker last holiday

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Meow! Wow, stronger voice: that is Greg, the one replacing Bob

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enjoying day after lunch

Greg, now one-eyed has been a tough guy in our family – his right eye was attacked by virus and late treated. He’s been with us since Bob was still here.

Greg behaves calmer than Greek. He won’t hop or jump or run in front of me. He is just sitting, licking his whole body over, mewing strongly and more loudly. And, he eats more easily even finishes Greek’s leftover. They have different plates for sure but the same bowl of water.

Greg doesn’t sleep at home. He is a tom and strays around at night for female feline; he stays home when it rains very heavily — dining chair is his favourite. Greek is staying home almost 60% of her day — sometimes at the porch, beds, chairs, corner of mom’s study.

Both are loved as loved as the human around…. And be thanked as thanked as the whole Universe….

Thanks for the humans around who take care of them        🙂

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under the shade of drying frame

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Bob, the grand predecessor 🙂

Singapore – January 11, 2015 – 2:10pm

The Birds

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Goura Cristata (crown dove)

These birds —

They never sing false notes. Humans slip their tongues now and then.

Where did the birds learn to sing? How did they master the sounds without flaw?

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A silent crow

Oye, Birds…. Would you tell her? Would you teach him?

To sing beautifully, to talk flawlessly?

Or, at least I using the real voice of theirs…. Be it chirping, be it crowing, be it cooing…. So be it, as long as it’s their real languages.

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Three geese at the lake

Temasek – December 10, 2014 – 2:55am