Senses, Beloved
Stay to contain what has come.
There is sludge to waste.
Senses
Tag: life
Time
Is 24-hour day enough? There was a period of time when I thought it was not— it was like all today’s to-do list had all to be checked.
Now I feel a day with 24 hours of measurement is sufficient with the word “priority”. Which one should be completed immediately or later; what shall be completed by myself or delegated; how they must be presented: private or public, and other ways of how the 24 hours should be respected.
I’m feeling lucky to be in situations outside work with which I can put activities more freely: sleep can be less to allocate my reading time, meal can be done in graded steps (preps at night, processed in the early morning), language learning inserted among routine schedule (Friday night, Sat morning or other spacious windows), etc
Yet, priority makes some compromising.
My living room is full of books & paper & hobbies tools. My sleep isn’t always 8 hours a day (fortunately this is always a myth to me). Selecting whom to meet is a serious thing (I only have very few people I truly will spend time with or meet with so if my meeting with them is not fun or fruitful, I’ll give up those friends in the future schedules).
It’s Sunday and there are places to go with my nephew visiting me. He promised he’ll tidy up my books and accompany me running training. He knows he’ll have to follow his aunt’s rhythm that might not be something familiar but also not so new to him— One of those: he has to give up smoking during his stay.
Life is good with 24 hours a day. It’s a blessing that I’ll forever cherish. It’s where enigma and secrets reveal in the wished way.
Time, do stay.
🪬
Language
Love languages
Dig up the buried to see
What have tuberized.
I love learning languages although the mode is getting slower and slower. Excitement is still there; I won’t want to lose the spark to harvest what’s grown by a hope to preserve the way my brain works. All brains work more and more slowly by ageing but I won’t let mine lose its engines even before the end.
I’ve learnt Arabic & Japanese again. Arabic is a tool for me to comprehend the Quran as I see at times that the translation into English or Indonesian sound like interpretation rather than translation. I don’t want interpretation, I do translation.
Japanese is for me to practice something different because learning it I’ve been “forced” to use non Latin based words— hiragana, katakana and kanji make me actively memorize the lines, the curves, the dots, the strokes and the meaning with senses: listening, speaking, reading, writing.
I’d like to learn my own language: Javanese with which I hope to carve my image more clearly as a Javanese woman in this life canvas.; with which I find what’s buried in the hidden pockets of ancient knowledge
Time, do stay.
Sunset
Sunset, Beloved
Slides with this plane to the edge
Or to the center
Of a line with marching dots
With unknown end. She’s blessed.
I normally close the window lid yet today I’d love to enjoy this beautiful sunset. 💕
A Lab That Recognises Other Labs (ranting)
A lab, Beloved
Is it closed on a Sunday?
I'd like to meet you.
This life to me is a laboratory in which I do my jobs to become. Every day is a new expression, experiment, finding, disclosure, on and on. My senses are the doors with which all the consumables, samples and specimens that sometimes line up nicely on the racks of my labs, or sometimes just fall down on the floors as a bulk, or sometimes disappear before even being touched or registered.
How do I feel in a lab?
That’s not the right question. It should be how do I feel as a lab?
It’s so fun to catch everything flying like dusts through my senses: messy messages, unfiltered algorithms, layered truths, disguised symbols, weak signals, etc…. They started approaching me as disturbances in my early tenure in the lab, until finally I realized that I’ve been a lab prepared & grown with high technology named “human being”—that was when they started becoming the witnessed, the witness, the evidences and the proofs that days in life are chains of processes whose miracles are blinking as information, data, insight and wisdom on and on and on. I thought information to data to insight to wisdom was a rigid line; then again this lab strangled me with reality that with my simple observation and questioning, even a wisdom could have beeen an info or data.
The way I’ve made hypothesis has educated me with “smart guess” when direct answers are on the way. The predictions loyally accompany me on the way of experimentation in which by times I have to let go a lot of variables after trial and error with which I keep everything else exactly the same; letting go off variable is truly big leaps in my lab—teaching me that nothing can live forever even when I stay loyal to it.
If I have a database built in, probably the data in my lab can connect to the akashic records in which everyone else’s akashic ribbons intertwined or at least touch lightly with each other. That explains why sometimes our analysis is similar or even exactly the same even when we don’t know each other—my lab database recognizes other human being’s lab database obviously.
Life is never about conclusion although in the lab I have made a lot of conclusions and put them in the database; yet I am sincerely waiting anytime to re-open the conclusion when the coming specimen tells me to do so. My conclusion will be forced to peel another layer of the onion.
My friendship is precious because my friends & the way we relate with one another have been the power of check and balance to my arrogant if not intelligent conclusions. Peer review among human beings (through direct or indirect interactions) is inevitable.
Alamak! I believe I’m a living witness that the lab is not only me; everyone is. Hello, fellow scientists!
How amazing life is!
Dear, Beloved. It is blessed to be alive. Someday when this blessing is taken back, please make it a gift to those finding it.
Thank you.
Dear, Love….
(continually updated for clarity and accuracy, fyi I rarely review my draft before uploading) 🍀
Just Seen, Not Focused
Just seen, not focused—
Life glides or slides through the days.
Grain fountain in jar—
Hello, You
Hello, you! Dear love
Who knocks on many wrong doors.
You is a true door.
sometimes I’m amazed to see my playlists – so old…. yet they’re the doors to this old soul
🤩
Exams
Exams, Beloved,
Visit life before lessons
That come as a gift.
2nd stop today
today was about medical exams & chats with physicians
alhamdulillah, all is well
🍀
Fun
Fun under the sun,
Running, walking in circle.
Happy finisher—
my 1st 5K
fun!
Kawung Kopi (batik)
Another sheet came,
Calling sight to decipher
The codes well written—
a spread of Kawung Kopi handmade batik
Kopi is coffee. Obviously this kawung batik is designed and hand drawn based on the image of coffee beans lining across a sheet, showing geometrical patterns.
The colour of sogan (earthy hues of batik) makes this pattern look magnificent and enigmatic— calling you to give meanings as how the pattern calls the vibes in you.
two sheets of Kawung Kopi handmade batik
Matur nuwun, Mbak Izzah
Banana Flower
Banana flower,
Delicacy with story—
Once living fully
tada!
well mixed
lemongrass, galangal, Javanese bay leaves, shallot, garlic
removed…. one by one? yes, one by one, slowly with all my heart
removing the pistil that won’t be soft even after cooked
banana flower
Set
All that has been set
Is summed up with a closure:
One more: rendezvous.
the sun set today summing up today’s lessons
Sitting
Sitting, Beloved
In between two quiet spaces
Thinking about you
looking forward to seeing you
good morning….
beauty in silence
(maybe) didiscus
hyperacum
white baby breath
eucalyptus leaves
wrapped in pink
pink ribbon
silhouette is always gorgeous
closer
here is that that sits at the weekend accompanying some self learning
Dancing
Dancing, Beloved
With you on an autumn day.
No word, just whispers
I’ve not listened to this song for so long until yesterday someone in my team teased me with this song. She said “I want to sing my song to you, it suits your vibe!”
I couldn’t say anything. What can I expect from a 66yo strong lady but accuracy of how she sees her junior?
I want to go to Japan again, walking around Tokyo with so a few words but many meaning in silence. 2027, please come soon. I miss my walking buddy a lot. 😁🥰
Conversing
Conversing with you
Under the sun smiling shy--
We whisper out loud.
taming that’s within
Green
I'm green, Beloved
Standing as young as a tree
After a shower.
being green is freshly thinking based on what’s my breathing brought me: peace & acceptance
Red Round
Red round, Beloved
A dot where signal will blink
At a looking eye--
I bought a keychain of Daruma without one eye, wishing to draw the missing one soon when my wish comes true….
❤️
Bowing
Bowing, Beloved
I to all telling me off
That I am lower.
I’m bowing to all, I’m in a lowest position to respect the whole universe–
Thank you.
Streamlined
Streamlined, Beloved
Raindrops slide down on bamboo;
Reaching their sweet home.
Brightened
Dear Life....
Even if you're as gloomy as dull days,
I'll brighten you up.
There is so much colour saved for
You.
let’s start with yellow
then more…..
yet I truly know my colours don’t always make others’ day so I decided to be as bright as I can be & won’t let others’ colour bother me
Signs Everywhere
Signs are everywhere
Telling me what river says.
Hi Numbers, thank you.
26 is like poets telling me to keep writing poems outside work.
36 is telling me to be just human being.
79 is telling me to make decision strongly when needed.
can you see the bird? 💕 what sign is that?
Ocean of Options
Yes life is a vast ocean of options including a Saturday night.
Find the smallest fun tonight yooow!
💙
Rain
Dress and umbrella
Get wet by the dancing rain.
Water festival--
魚です
私は自分が生きてきた水を忘れてしまったが、呼吸を通していつもそれを愛してきた
how i forget the water in which i've lived all my life; yet how i've always loved it through this breathing
Dandelions (ranting)
There was recent time when dandelion didn’t become my reminder buttons. There was a factor called “doubt” when dandelion was taken by someone whose intention seemed mixed between game & genuineness. So dandelion was waiting in the closet before finally it is now coming out as my favorite grass flower again.
The game was over by the accidental disclosure of merely mocking around. I’m lucky to pay attention on timeline. Who is at one time, what is happening, what is connected to another setting, which is suggesting chronological events that can be a nice logical flow & structure.
Timeline is very important. It doesn’t only show me when something happens but it can also show me how something can happen. Just like dandelion that will start from bud then push the yellow petals then fall then develop seed head then grow puffball then fly….. Flying to where dreams find their home–
How beautiful the cycle is!
Lucky the other favourite thing of mine is not taken: clover! And I hope there won’t be anymore unnecessary drama that makes life too noisy even when alone. My life is getting back to a fun humble whistle again– it is enough to be just me.
3 or 4, it doesn’t matter – it’s clover
life is just like that, said dandelion
🍀❣️💕
What I Don’t Want
What I don't want is associating myself with anyone but myself, a human being in the making
Then marching lines with sprinkling comma,
Before one summarising period
One day.
Passage of Time
Time has passages
Walked by hearts with decisions.
Sloping and climbing--
Love welcomes what's been waited
Without payment and complaints.
The meadow grows green.
time gives me space to grow without asking me to pay how much ever I’ve learnt in the journey & without complaints how long I’ve had to reach a point of understanding
time allows me to grow from nothing to fly up above any layers of skies where nothing is empty or empty is nothing
time itself is so kind & patient, so much I’ve owed to time so the only thing I can do is keeping repaying to it by treating it gently & truly
dear, Time…
…. wherever you are,
thank you
🍀
have a good weekend, WordPress
Egg
Fresh eggs nicely boiled
Roll on a table for two.
One faster grabber--
boiled, hard, favourite 💕
never keep eggs in the fridge anymore; fresh from the basket tastes better 🍀🐣
Walking A Route
A short route to walk
When the sun's down, the moon's up.
The dark that protects--
my normal weekly brisk walk route keeps rewilding 👍🏽
crescent moon that doesn’t look crescent 😆
white spider lily along the way
it’s erected completely, across the reservoir
In The Deep
In the deep
I meet with a dragon.
She tells me her stories
And I'm offended.
"That's my story, not yours.
Are you teasing me?"
The dragon smiles, jerks her tail and softly slaps my cheek with it.
"It's a mirror in the deep
Telling you it's yours. And it is. Yet it's also mine."
I push my body up, breathe my lungs out in the air.
The dragon is still in the deep
Smiling with her golden heart.
today a friend of mine asked me at dinner “why do you post stories that poke me?”
“what do you mean by ‘poke me’? I’m mostly just saying.”
“saying after knowing something? or saying just saying?” she complained again, disbelieving in my statement
“I’m just saying what is pushed by something within I can’t stop. I just have to say it at lunch break or after work!” there’s no intention to tease you or anyone in the Instagram who have access to my locked account”
she didn’t say anything, she must have trusted me
sometimes the vibe is too strong splashing on me and I simply have to say something to the air because that’s the only way to tell the truth even to those not reading my postings (unfortunately some vibe truly comes to me just like that)
some soul hears each other clearly, or vaguely but accidentally correctly 😁
sorry but not sorry, dear friend….
I don’t know you are touched, I hope you learn some lessons.
💕
rike jokanan 
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