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My iCal Is Packed – haiku

My iCal is packed
With colourful blocks: Busy—
And well distracted.

Temasek – October 19, 2019 / 17:00

—-

Being busy does not alway mean being productive. Ouch!
But being busy is definitely being distracted from the humdrum of life. Cool!

Looking forward to new passport with immigration stamps and new visas!

Thanks to you, Life.

Damn thanks to the below link for the super cool picture:

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What Has Age Taught You? – haiku

What has age taught you?
Fear to lose or daringness
To shine through glory~

Temasek – October 14, 2019


 

Life is choking at times but mostly it feels too roomy to let yourself be offended by only a few wrong-doings or wrong decisions. If your life is as short as a mayfly’s age, you might want to fly dancing the most gracefully. Or, you just want to rest perching on the bark while praying for the best of 24 hours before your life cycle ends — this is the least suggested though.

My Beloved, please always spare me a beautiful life -I know Your definition of beautiful might be with some splash of shit in it- to share with those that matter to me (and also with those that don’t, as You wish). 💝

Please grant me clarity.

One of My Days Was Doomed By Zodiac Reading (ranting)

Have you ever listened to zodiac reading in Youtube?

I did.
Some time ago my friend and I came across to an idea to see if the readings of our zodiacs (Virgo and Cancer) were accurate against the actual situations. Moreover, she was curious if her love life was on the right path.

“I think your zodiac won’t agree with that Aries guy!” I said that knowing that the Aries guy was too good to be true – someone that you know…. handsome, successful, rich, loved by many (daydreaming) ladies (but in my perspective –so sorry to say– that that kind of man can be the most manipulative).

“Don’t frustrate your friend.” She snapped me sharply. Ahem!

We searched the topic using smart key words and chose zodiac readers with more than 100,000 subscribers. We assumed that the more subscribers someone has, the more trust that reader gets from his/her viewers.

We found many readers in Youtube. They have wide range of styles, accuracies, clarity, excitement and approach. Some are very detailed – imagine someone is reading your zodiac for more than one hour without pay! (I mean paid they get paid through AdSense, not you). Some are very stingy – only 6 minutes and called it “general reading”. Some are very sexy look and busier showing their sex appeal than reading integrity; some are sloppy, like just getting up from the bed and dragged by the reading schedules. Some are very brilliant speakers – this is a bit dangerous because they can just flip the fact to sound sweeter to you; some are blunt or use too many fillers in their speech like “uummm”, “errr”, “like”, etc. Some are very knowledgeable, while some are not more than making your ass hotter and want to hit the antagonist in the reading. Some are young, some are old. Most of them are female — this is not discrimination but yes, the male readers sound like female to me except the one in a cowboy style named Ramblin Mike.

No, no. I am not talking about the readers. I want to talk about the reading, that unluckily was very rarely on both of our sides. We felt that we were doomed because of having “wrong” zodiacs.

  • One reader said that my friend was offered a love by a Virgo. Friend: It should be by an Aries. (-)
  • One reader said my friend would give good response to a Sagittarius. Friend: She was so excited. Me: But hey, he is not a Sag. He is an Aries! (-)
  • One reader said that I was unfaithful. Me: Goddamn! She said Virgo is unfaithful?! I never cheat anyone in my relationship! I’d been cheated! (-)
  • Some readers said that my friend was getting a very good job promotion; while actually she was in a tension with her boss. Friend: Nonsense! (-)
  • One reader said that I was going to get a very good appreciation from the company. Me: Resonated! Thanks God! (reality: I hadn’t even had a performance review yet.) (+)
  • Some readers said that time was fluid and so the reading points could happen in the past, present and future…. Us: Ummm (?)
  • One reader (my favorite, maybe because he is a Virgo and always takes a side of Virgo) made us rock on laughter “Oh God, he is even deceitful in his fantasy”. Me: So cute! (+)
  • Some readers said that they heard words coming to them as divine message. Us: Really? Teach us how. (+)
  • One reader said that she heard the word “Disney” intuitively and she said that my love story would be like Disney’s love story. Me: Rubbish!, Friend: Don’t say rubbish, just pray. Me (again): Rubbish! (-)
  • One reader said that my friend’s love would come by end of this year. Friend: Yay! (+)
  • Another reader said that my friend’s love would come later, maybe mid of next year. Me: Hahaha (-) Friend: What?! (-)
  • Some readers said at the beginning of the reading that the card energy was so good, then when opening other cards they would say that the card’s energy shifted so fast and said that it was so negative. Us: Inconsistent! (-)

We cursed most of the time because many things didn’t reflect our situations.

And, what finally broke our laughter was when one reader said “…. Oh, your person really loves you and this person is willing to die for you blahblahblah…. But if you don’t have the same situation, this person might deal with one more Virgo and you are the antagonist one.”

Both of us: “Change reader! Hahaha….!”

Please don’t get me wrong. I respect all those readers. They have trained themselves to read either using tarot cards, oracle cards, intuition, rune, etc. I am sure some of them took advanced courses and some of them have been truly gifted spiritually. Some of them claimed that they have read for more than 20 years, with credentials that I didn’t even imagine before I found this thing in Youtube. My point is that general reading can be misleading and no one should take it for granted.

If you really want to be read through, find a trusted reader and do personal/private reading where the reader can access your energy specifically and directly. And he or she shall be good, intuitive, trustworthy and reliable reader. Clear and authentic. Genuine and sincere. High integrity and mature 

Life sometimes can feel so good when the zodiac reading is positive; even if it is not true. Damn right! :-))

Ah…. I might take a course to be an excellent reader someday so that I can read good things for everyone and make them happy…. 🙂

Singapore – October 12, 2019 / 12:25am

veggie-infographic-final-2

I’m grateful for the picture to: https://blog.hellofresh.com/the-zodiac-signs-spring-veggies/

The Guesthouse – (poem by Rumi)

The Guesthouse

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.


This poem was one of those discussed in the Self Discovery course I enrolled in Scotland.

So hard and torturing for my empty head that always craves for intelligence.
So intense for my empty heart that always craves for drama.
So beautiful when we read and contemplated it collectively in the classroom.
So enriching~
Awakening the sleeping giant in the corner of my Soul.

And I was so amazed that part of the poem is recited in one of songs of my favourite band Coldplay entitled “Kaleidoscope”. Enjoy!

Thank you, Rumi for waking me up with your words loaded with divine love.

The Foggy Windows – haiku

The foggy windows
Frame my morning’s first view.
It’s amazing day.

Temasek – October 3, 2019 / 21:07

My windows facing the reservoir have been glorious frames of all my morning views when I’m not away from home. No matter what mood fills my emotion, the windows welcome me with the same stillness. They are good friends with haze, rain, sun, wind while standing before me nicely with protection. Whether it is a bright day or a gloomy one, they are always successful to drag me to look out to and beyond them and say “Thanks, Life for the amazing day.”

A day without gratitude is like heart without its beat

May all beings be happy….

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Koi Swim Happily – haiku

Koi swim happily.
A dreamer thinks hard just to
Hop on Yin and Yang.

Ubud – September 28, 2019 / 14:30


I am in Ubud, Bali this weekend. I met a friend who is always wise and fun. Among all she said there was one hitting me hard yet nicely “Dear, try one thing now: change your lunch every day. You’ve got the same things for years and you need to have some fun.”

Holy smoke!!! Yes! I’ve gotta leave my rice and try some mashed potato.

Welcome me, Macs Cafe….

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What Do You Regret? – haiku

What do you regret?
Nothing but being young yet
Not free, not curious–

Singapore – September 26, 2019 / 22:10

—-

Remembering my friend’s message, regretting some of her being naughty and too free. I said jokingly “My past was too clean and I regret it ahahaha….”

Dear, Friend. Life is too short to regret. What can we do but embracing what we have with love and awareness?

I’m grateful.

End Of Holiday – haiku

End of holiday:

I must go home. I don’t know

Why it feels so good.

London – September 21, 2019 / 08:38

—-

I’m flying back to Singapore this evening. I didn’t know why I shed tears just to imagine opening the door of my home. Maybe because there will be many chores after left for so long 🤪 Plus work, work, work. Still I’m happy!

Masquerade – ranting

Life is about masquerading.
How well she acts under a mask determines what the crowds will give her.
Whether she is crying under a smiling mask, it doesn’t matter. What matters is her body languages correspond with the smiles in the mask.

Her cry in the heart will not resonate whatever frequency is spread through the air ‘coz the crowds don’t read the heart. They see the mask and they are wearing masks, too.

Dear, Mask.
How are you?
Are you happy there?
Or, do you need some touch-up of colors?
Let me do it.
I can put mascara, blush-on, eye-shadow, eyelashes or more colors on your lips.
Your smiles shall not fade away.
Otherwise, the crowds will be disappointed and go away.

Dear, Mask.
Do you know how I am?
I am crying for how long you are suffering to look good all the time.
Sobbing when you have to laugh out loud celebrating how grand the victory is.
Weeping to see the mask running low with sweat, tired of grinning at how splendid love looks.
You seem so young but I know you are weathered.
Don’t you want to take a break?

……

But hold on, Mask.
Hold on a second.
Let me think it over.
Let me reckon what I just said to you.
No, no, no.
Do you need to listen to what I said?
Yes, you should.
But should you change?
No!
It is a big no-no.

I am happy that I am here for you.
I am what I am as you are what you are.
I am your shadow, where you can hide for a while.
I am your sanctuary, where you can take shelter.
I am your bin, where you want to dump all your hazardous wastes of make-up.
I am your Lover.
I can be your Beloved, too.

Dear, Mask.
Be a good mask.
Play the best acting as you can.
If life is a joke, let yourself be the greatest Joker.
When life orders pretension, be the greatest Pretender.
You take the best Role in this Life,
With me beyond your Play.

evening-of-hope-feature

Dear, Mask.
Just don’t forget that….
There is the Playwright.
Never ever take action without His bloody instruction.

Dear, Mask….
“Camera! Action!”

Singapore – August 11, 2019 / 10:45pm

Picture borrowed from https://myvancity.ca/2016/01/14/evening-of-hope-gala/

Experience Sharing – ranting

I’ve lived in this tiny country for more than six years and experience is the one making me the richest. I’m sharing you one most frequent.

I’m physically very ordinary, almost ugly, dark, chubby, short, not fashion conscious. And all in all I am poor or look poor – my source of income is only my monthly salary and some bonus from the company, other than that nothing. So, people can expect unexpected from an “I am” and will think that they can’t use me in a way but suddenly they would get crazily lured to use me up to the driest point when they know who I am — who am I? Nobody.

Ok. Time to rant —

One experience today,

I went to Funan Mall in City Hall area to buy rear light for my bike missing after my minor accident to the office and a tote back to be installed in my dear bike. As normal as a customer ever I greeted the shopkeeper and asked politely if I can get a spare of rear light.

Shopkeeper: What type is your bike?

Although confused with his question I answered “the one with M handle bar”.

Shopkeeper: This is a rear light. You know it or not?

I nodded and said yes.

Shopkeeper: Hey, you know the price or not?

I got a bit heated up because of his constantly high tone since I greeted him, so I politely challenged him: Why are you asking me about the price? I thought it is $45. Is it still the same?

Shopkeeper: So why did you tell me about the handle bar?! And you know the price is $45!

Hmm…. Rude guy! I was guessing he was testing me if I really intended to buy or just walked around the new store.

“Sir, you asked me about what type of bike I have then asked me about how much is the rear light of my bike. Now you are shouting at me as if I hurt your pride?” said I politely.

Shopkeeper: Sure you can buy or not?

I went away with poker face without looking at him then approached the other guy who was younger and nicer.

…. Another experience some months ago

I met a specialist in one of the best hospitals in the city and spent quite a lot to treat my disease. I shared with someone – let’s call her a friend.

Friend: Why didn’t you go to government hospital, it gives you cheaper package with the same quality of service. In this country medical services are quite standardised, only thing if you go to private ones you spend much more. Poor people deserves poor service!

I couldn’t say anything but smiled. I didn’t explain to her that I’m not a citizen or permanent resident that will get such privilege including the medical services. As a human being – knowing whether I am poor or rich – she shouldn’t have said the last sentence to anyone. Anyone, even if really poor

This Friend is still around me. I’m still good to her. And just FYI, it was not her first sharp words that were thrown to my face. I always tell myself that she is just being her, not more not less.

…. Another experience some years ago

I entered the office lobby. Today I would meet my interviewers for the final job interview. I was nervous, happy, worried and excited at the same time. Holding my Blackberry with both hands, I headed to the receptionist.

“Good morning, Ma’am.”

“You want meet who?” Oh my…. The Singlish was a striking welcome to me. 😃

“I’d like to meet with Ms X and Mr Y for job interview.”

“You Rike Jo ha?”

“Yes, I’m Rike Jo, Ma’am.”

“Sit first la. I’ll call them. You can’t use Blackberry, only iPhone here ya. Can not connect internet for browsing la.”

Oh my goodness. What a joke! I’m here to get a job, not to connect to internet.

“Hey, you from where? Indon?”

“Indonesia, Ma’am.”

“Ok Indon ya.”

“Indonesia, Ma’am.”

“Ok ok ok. Sit there, wait for 10 minutes they’ll come.”

Oh my god. And later I found that that receptionist was in-house subcontractor – the worst ever of liking to boss around and boast around talking about the company employees whom she didn’t really like so much. And more importantly, we are not prohibited to use any brands of gadgets in the office – but why bother using other brands if your own brand is the best on earth?! 😊

I still have my other stupendous and enriching experiences but it is too much for me to tell random samples of people from various factors who have judged people by their sole blurry eyes. Let it be, let it be.

Those people have judged me with their shallow mind, unfair position, misleading intention, partial data, insufficient information and the most of it with their pompous arrogance of being superior than someone coming from their backyard.

I am normally just feeling upset then immediately back to normal but today I was so fed up with those people. I pray that they know their points of view are not enough to evaluate others. They need distance, method and clarity to view then evaluate others. They should think before they say. They should listen to understand and not to reply. They should see before they leap…. Or else someday they will fall down and break down.

I will stay here for at least the next 5 years before I’m back to a human being without formal profession. By then I will have been a mature lady who knows that the world is spinning because some good guy accept others’ stupidity as learning curve, weigh others’ unfairness as a self reminder to be always stable, embrace one’s own anguish as the warmth among the cold ignorance of the modern people, and arrange all those into a beautiful arrangement of balancing points.

I still have many good friends here that make my life so beautiful and peaceful. And I will just be their good one, too.

Life is so colourful. I’ll enjoy it, with some ranting on at times….

Salam….

Khatib, July 26, 2019 – 21:03

New Year’s Resolution – serious ranting

My home is near the MRT railway, every five minutes two 6-car trains will go to both directions. And, today they do their routine of life. But there is something different, like they know it is almost 2019 and want to celebrate the year exchange.

The trains sound more merrier.

And the vehicles in the crossroad just down floors below run like no energy is lacking or no drowsiness greets the drivers.

Around where I live there are a lot of trees that I hope won’t be cut down for long years to come. I love them as they are the ones making my breath lighter and healthier. And tonight I feel they send out purer air to me.

And there is a reservoir that is cleaned daily by the boatmen on the blue boats. It still looks dark at night but the water reflection is clearer and more magnificent.

All do more magic tonight…. Because it is new year tomorrow. And I am infected by their spirit of best performance of now here and so I want to be in the harmony with Nature now here and next year.

I might not be able to get a mentor that I expected but I will make myself the best mentor for myself to be more professional – clarity on what I do, purity on what I intend. I might not be the best of all but I will make myself the best version of me – committed and true. I might not get everything I wish but I will make myself to get what’s the best I deserve.

Tonight I welcome 2019 at home looking at my plants in the small balcony, going back and forth the fridge to get cool water – I don’t drink beer fyi, seeing all the passers by, enjoying the dogs’ smell from the one living under my balcony. The air, water, cloud, unseen sky, shy rain, greenery in the black black new year’s eve, all people celebrating far away with the fireworks, all the animals with shelters or without, all the blessed life under the sun, and all

To you I wish a….

…. Happy New Year 2019! The best is welcoming you.

I know next year is mine, too.

Temasek – December 31, 2019 – 11:18pm

 

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Renovated – ranting

It is my 3rd visit to Ayutthaya. Three rounds, one hotel – just across a historical wat (temple) at the river bank.

In my first visit in 2017 the wat was clearly seen from my window. White with some unclear yet predictable patch of mould. Beautiful and grand.

The second visit just last August it was being renovated. Covered with green nets and perched by workmen, the wat looked surrendered and retreat.

Now, the renovation is going on. The wat is shiny and white like marble, maybe glazed with porcelain. Hopefully. Yet the green net is still there, workmen are still busy behind the net. Dogs are still barking there maybe shouting at visitors. I don’t even know if visitors are allowed during construction.

Ayutthaya, you don’t fail me.

Ayutthaya – Dec. 26, 2018 – 14:27

Secret – ranting

And from now on I will have to keep it secret.

Sometimes you don’t have to tell anyone what you think.
And I decided not to tell people what I think about a person if not about important things.

Sometimes you don’t have to share how you feel to anyone.
And I decided to not share anything if not important things.

But what is not important about your life?
Everything is important.
So, wanna expose everything?
Hmm….
Ok, yet priority makes it simple.

Yeah, I decided to filter what to be told and shared.
Gosh!
What an unimportant ranting mine is!

Happy holidays!

Singapore – December 23, 2018 – 12:19am

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Caged Bird – free verse

My father had a black starling.
It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood.
We hoped it could talk.

Our family moved
To a much smaller home.
Our starling got neglected
How much I can feel the guilty is like a teary moment to a bloody heart!

The black starling got a home
Bigger:
My mother’s relative.

It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.

The cage was wires and wood, half we gave to it.
We hoped it could talk.

If you are dead, dear Black Starling,
Be in a peaceful moment.
Fly with your beautiful wings, black and shiny!
Feed your life with all the fresh memories.
Forget all the cages and bars.
Be the air
Be the vapour
Be the atmosphere
Be our silent guidance to the freedom out of this cage.

Thank you for your will to be our prisoner
Thank you for your sincerity to be our exhibition
Thank you for your sacrifice to feed our ego
Thank you for your life to complete our purity.

See you across the bridge.
You’ve met him, right?
Tell him you forgive us.

Yours truly,

Me

Shanghai – Dec. 15, 2018 – 12:05 noon is here

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