How – ranting

I’m almost 50?
Gosh! Am I that near to what is called half a century? it gives me goosebump!
What have I done?
To my beloved parents?
To my beloved sisters?
To my beloved brothers?
To my friends?
To my country?
To humanity?
To….

To myself?

Last month I visited a good friend and found more things about her. She has done so much in her life.
She helped me and her colleagues gro professionally.
She did many things to help people in her industry.
She did so much to her mother especially when her mother was in the deathbed.
She travels to see many places.
She plays piano.
She plays violin.
She plays golf.
She hangs out with friends.
She reads spiritual books.
She always comes up with solutions of problems around her.
She dedicates her life to humanity.
She does many many things that I can even only imagine I can do with my mini courage.

Once I told her “My Friend, I think you will not regret your life when you die.”

And she said “You’re right, Rike. I won’t regret my life when I die. I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.”

She said to me, “Be happy. Do something that you have wanted to do but you haven’t. Hey, what about taking music classes?”

Going out from her apartment, I could not stop thinking of what I should do to make my life meaningful for myself and for those I love that I leave when I die.

Life is short and I’ve gotta do something.

Thanks, my Friend for being and inspiration to me.

I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.

Singapore – April 29, 2018 – 02:39

The picture below is of Fifi (the black and white) and Chocho (the ginger), kittens in my Mom’s home. Chocho died of suffering for his back on April 23, 2018 at around 11:15am Jakarta time. Thank you, Chocho for telling me over and over again that you lived happily and died happy. Thank you, my dear kitten. See you across the rainbow bridge….

img_3504

Faces – haiku

Facets and faces
On diamonds and humans are
Overt covert beauty —

===

Can you see the real things behind the things? You might be able or not but the thing is there you know it or not. Existence is not about the humans’ ability to see through, existence is about that it is there and that’s it. You’ve gotta to reach the fact that you believe what’s true is true, what exists exists without judging what’s true and what exists. My homework for myself.

Temasek – April 28, 2018 – 14:04

Chocho – haiku

He’s a yellow cat,
With a hurt back and couldn’t walk.
Much love is showered.

Chocho is one of two kittens that survive of 4 of Mother Prengil. He got an unknown accident that made him not able to walk and just drag his body. I wish I’d be with him to give him medication.

I’m so sorry, Chocho. 💝

GH Jakarta, April 19 2018 – 23:10

Journey – ranting

It is 2018, March! Third month of the 12 months, year is rolling so fast, not long after this it’s gonna be next year. I’m happy that I was given a chance to start 2018 – my fortysomethingth year of life.

In my movie mind I’m a global trotter, walking or running or hitchhiking, taking vehicles. There are a backpack, oh no just a satchel and a small rucksack, a pair of strong yet comfy boots, a hat and wow wow comfy apparel. I have some cash and some plastic money that I can use when needing to spend for food and things. I use Apple Pay anyway.

I’m so far quite a distance from home and still don’t wanna come back. I have some sites to visit. I am in a journey, yes I am. I know where I am going, yet I won’t share with anyone where I’ve been until I reach Finish line. Blogs, vlogs and notes are saved everywhere as I have left fingerprints and footprints there. “Global Trotter was here” is the stamp, seen or unseen. This journey has engraved prayers and wishes on milestones along the path. In rain and shine, I’m not alone yet I’m alone. What a beautiful journey! Thank You.

Where am I going? I know where it is, I just will not tell – it’s a Secret. They told me to be careful of wild boar and snake or tiger and bear or crocodile and quicksand and everything poisonous, dangerous or scary. But I am alive. They reminded me of getting lost or being cheated or getting robbed or kidnapped. But I am safe and sound.

I am on the right path. How do I know? I just know.

I remembered my Mother then made a call clarifying that I was ok and I would proceed. She cried and asked if I would go home soon. I said I am sorry but I have to go. I love you, Goddess of My Life….

I promise to only myself that I will not stop until this journey completes itself. I won’t tell either where I’m heading to. Just don’t worry, I’ll be safe and reach straight home without getting lost because….

…. I have my North Star.

Temasek – March 2, 2018 – 03:05

latitude-north-star-5-degrees-above-horizon_8d32bb0c6f9cb1e2

Picture borrowed from https://www.reference.com/geography/latitude-north-star-5-degrees-above-horizon-8d32bb0c6f9cb1e2

Something Just Like This – lyrics

Thank you for those who wrote the lyrics and composed the music. It reflects the conversation between my soul and my physical reality. I want something just like this!

For them, I dedicate this plain haiku:

Longing for a song.
I am something just like this.
I accept my this.

===

“Something Just Like This”
(with Coldplay)

I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spiderman’s control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly I don’t see myself upon that list

But she said, “Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can kiss.
I want something just like this.”

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

Oh, I want something just like this
I want something just like this

I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
The testaments they told
The moon and its eclipse
And Superman unrolls
A suit before he lifts
But I’m not the kind of person that it fits

She said, “Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can miss.
I want something just like this.
I want something just like this.”

Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

“Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can kiss.
I want something just like this.”

Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this

Kutabur Debu Cahaya

Kutabur debu cahaya
Bersama salam dan langkahku
Demi jejak kemanusiaan
Bagi seluruh isi alam.
Berurai air-mata….

Sungai-sungai sebagai urat-urat darah
Yang mulai tersumbat,
Menyempit,
Buntu…. Samudera pun kehilangan tuah dan birunya.
Tersedak Ibu Gaia terbatuk-batuk, bersedih melihat anak-anaknya tiada berhati.

Duh Gusti,
Ampunilah aku
Yang tak mampu membantu titik-titik mungil bercahaya terkungkung rantai dan kerangkeng.
Letih dan terluka
Batin dan badannya.

Duh Gusti,
Merdekakan kami.
Aku dan titik-titik mungil bercahaya itu.
Merdekakan inti hidup kami.
Sehingga bahagia walau kami dihela hingga pertolonganMu tiba.
Sehingga ikhlash walau kami dipaksa hingga kehendakMu tiba.

Wahai, titik-titik mungil bercahaya….
Kuseru doa dan belai mesra.
Salamku salam ruhani yang akan membungkusmu dengan kekebalan
Dari segala derita.
Kuatkan. Murnikan. Tataplah langit seperti kutatap ia.

Kudekap Ibu Gaia,
Kuhembuskan debu cahaya
Dan titik-titik cahaya itu berpendar, melebar dan merayakan kebahagiaan.
Salamku salam ruhani
Wahai titik-titik mungil dalam dekapan.

Puisi ini kupersembahkan bagi para satwa yang didera kekejaman atas nama kesejahteraan manusia. Terkirim bagimu kekuatan dan kemuliaan selamanya. Sayangku….

Ibu Gaia, teriring doa untukmu jua….

Salaamun qaulammirrabbirrahiem….

IMG_4555

Temasek – August 12, 2017 – 02:59

Hero – song

This song by Mariah Carey, Hero has been a good earplug for me. Been feeling so tired of my own self – being not confident with all what I called weaknesses. Until I found that points of weakness are where our strenghts stand out. Enjoy…. ❤

There’s a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don’t have to be afraid
Of what you are
There’s an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It’s a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don’t let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You’ll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you

 

 

Singapore – May 22, 2017 – 00:45

Passed Away

IMG_1692

Our dear Moppy passed away on March 26, 2017 at around 12:14pm Jakarta time. Not a good news for us but we have to face it. He’s lived comfortably in his past years.

I couldn’t write a romantic letter for him earlier as I was too sad to say things about him.

Now that I can write things about him, very little though and not representing my big emotion.

He is happy and comfortable now – happier and more comfortable than when he was in his sick body on earth. And, he is still watching us especially watching Karin Franken who had been taking care of him for his last time before he died. Thank you, Karin – that is what Moppy has said every single day even now.

Moppy, you’ve been our dear dog. Special in your own way, like each of your human buddies are special in our own ways.

Moppy, you’ve changed my perception about dogs. You’ve changed my actions on the animal welfare. You’ve changed my thinking constelation – making me more aware about why we are here….

Moppy, again thank you…. Unlimited thank you.

Moppy, please forgive me for not visiting you for so long…. I know you know why I didn’t come. For you to know that you’ve always been in my diary and in my HEART.

Moppy, be good. Run free! So long, my buddy!

Salaaam….

Temasek – April 2, 2017 – 16:36

Diving – haiku

In a rough dark sea
She is diving all alone.
Tridacnas await.


Are you ready? At the end of an abyss you’ll see a beauty beyond description.

 

Picture borrowed from this link, you can also learn what is Tridacna in it. Thank you! http://www.advancedaquarist.com/2016/1/aafeature

 

Or, watch below video

Temasek – April 1, 2017 – 22:35

There She Is – haiku

There she is. Crouching
Behind a log. She’s waiting
For fresh flesh dinner.


Are we a tiger crouching? Or a deer grazing in the greenery…. Or both but with love?

1411822115289_wps_1_MAHARASHTRA_INDIA_SEPTEMB

Picture borrowed fromhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2771497/The-unlikeliest-friends-Giant-pregnant-tiger-plays-tiny-fawn-carries-mouth-like-cub.html

Temasek – March 29, 2017 – 22:36

Home, House, Imagination

When I was 12 years old (I hope I remember that age correctly), I imagined of having a small cabin to live with my four best friends: Rosi, Ana, Nana, Nanik.

Then at the age of 22 I want to have a big two-storey house with luxurious furniture where I can welcome friends to chat things.

Getting older, around 35 I just wanted to have a house. Just a house, any kind of house as I was so tired of renting rooms. And, thanks God I bought a tiny home near  river bank. A small house with two bedroom, enough for me an my cat to live in. It has a small garden to the right side of it – small, really small full with sand for neighborhood cats to poo and play. It has free walls inside for my orchids to hang…. And the front wall for my wijayakusuma to bloom happily. And, it has comfortable space for friends and family to stay overnight or just pay a short visit.

I am so thankful for what I am given in my life. I hope I still have a chance to share more with all my frineds and family and all animals around me.

Light is coiling around me, praying for the best.

My house is there to pray for me…. I’m here somewhere praying for my house.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you….

IMG_0792

Erawan, Bangkok – March 16, 2017 – 22:16

I live – free verse

I live forever,
When it I who lives forever.
But I might only live for 70 years,
When it is I who lives for 70 years.

I decide to live forever,
I who is riding planes – many different planes
Travelling through time and space.
Give me life
One at a time.
Then live forever I do.

But this plane will not make me forever for you.
This plane decays by time – this time.
This plane deteriorates by weather – this space.
I won’t live forever in this plane.
Then yes I won’t live forever.

Thanks for being with me when I’m in this plane.
And see you again with me on another space and time because we live forever.
Just know me then you know when we meet again.

I’m happy forever in joy.

img_6506

Singapore nowhere – this time of 3:05am

Greek’s 40th Days Leaving Us Behind

40 days ago our dear cat lady, Greek went across the bridge and today we are remembering her being part of us.

 

She was such a beauty, dignity yet rebel and free soul. Oh yeah, free soul she was! She would hunt anytime she wanted and brought the hunted to us as gifts: grasshopper, flies, dragonflies, lizard, birds name it she would be proud of her hunting skill.

 

Once we had a guest with one teenager who was trying to protect the hunted bird – the bird was still alive, very weak and desperate – our guest freed the bird and Greek was in rage! She didn’t attack but she wouldn’t stop wandering around the house shouting until my Mother took the tiny cat to her hugs. She was calming in my mother’s hands.

 

Greek was such a love to all of us. Everybody poured her with abundant love and care. My Brother would always ask “Where is Greek?” everytime he visited my mom. My nephews and nieces would have the same question.

 

But Greek wouldn’t love children. She was scared of those rascals’ shouting and cheering and jumping and being too excited. Then she would stay away the whole day giving up the food. She would be back when all those kids were gone. My mom would be worried….

 

Greek was an alarm clock for my Mother. She would wake her up especially for night prayer. She would kiss my Mother to wake her up. Failed with kisses, she would scratch my mother’s body. Failed with the scratches, she would step on my mother’s head with her soft meows. My mother would prepare food and pray accompanied by the tiny alarm clock.

 

Greek was also great sleeper. She would sleep when the rest of us worked!

 

And a great eater…. Pick great eater! She didn’t take not fresh food. All of her food must be fresh from the storage. She would not eat her own leftover. All must be new! And new it was for our beloved princess Greek.

 

Greek, too many things we save in our memory about her.

 

You are loved. You are remembered.

 

We know you leave us as you wished. You made the decision and we just felt the broken heart to say goodbye.

 

Greek, your graveyard is just some steps from our backdoor. We can visit you whenever we want. We first got so sad but you always came once in while making sure that we are ok and we now realize that you were leaving clean and happy.

 

Please send our loving regards to Bob, Grace, Greece, Greg, and all other beloved animals you meet and greet there across the rainbow bridge.

 

Please cut your worry. We are praying for your good. Please pray for us, too.

Now your friends are sitting in our porch Everyday but they don’t want to stay home like you. They come to have meal and sleep somewhere we don’t know. Please make sure they are fine, our angel…..

 

Greek, this is your 40th days leaving us. You will be our guiding light, won’t you?

Till we meet again, my dear. Love you soooooooo much!!! Warm regards from me, Ibu, Mbak Andri, Mbak Yuda, Mas Yogi and all…. The rainbow slides are ready….! Woohooo!

Yogyakarta – June 19, 2016 -10:30am

A Visit To Moppy & Friends

Last weekend I went to Jakarta to meet our beloved fellow creature named Moppy. He is a dog to whom my love will always flow even later when he is gone. He’s survived a cancer — not surviving by curing but let me tell you that he is still alive although with a very painful wound in one part of his plane. He is though strong enough to survive for more than one year after he was rescued.

And, I always miss him wherever I am….
Last Saturday night we visited him.
He was sleeping very soundly. Oh, my Moppy boy. You are still there!
I know you bear the pain because you love your very mother, the sweet lady who is always there for you.

Moppy is ok, not really ok but he is struggling. And no plan to put him to sleep…. He might have been put to sleep if he is not living where he is living now. Moppy is just stubborn to live his cancer…. 🙂

Moppy is still happy. Eating very well. Wagging his tail when meeting human surrounding him.

Moppy, I love you!!!

And when he saw me…. He looked happy…. Nothing I can say but “Hey dude, how are you?”

And, he said “I am ok, you see I survive longer than you predicted. Gotcha!”

I wanted to sing for him but it was late night…. Nobody wanted to hear my tunes. Then I just sang in my heart, looking at his eyes talking to him.

Moppy is now skinnier.
I just pray he is ok.
As ok as he is now when he decides to leave.
Don’t wait.
Please don’t wait.
Let go. Please let go.
We love you wherever you are. You are always loved.

If we don’t meet in my next visit, I’m ok and you should be, too.
Just go…. As you’ll welcome all of us in the next gate.

Moppy, I love you….

IMG_1692

Singapore – May 31, 2016 – 1:19am

Greek, fragrant spirit – haiku

Breezy, frozen dawn
Wind’s blowing in through window
A fragrant spirit.

Greek passed away. She was buried in a descent way, wrapped in white fabric, anointed in musk perfume and prayed with sincere love. She might still want to see us at home — that’s when we smelt fragrance of musk in early morning. The place where she is buried is way at our lovely backyard and where we smelt her musk is way at the front part of home.

Greek was visiting. She wanted to let us know that she is fine and will never leave us….

She is playing in a very enlightened garden.

Love for Greek….

IMG_0079

 

 

 

 

Singapore – May 23, 2016 – 12:25am

Green valley – haiku

Two dogs and a cat
Stroll in joy, breathing sweet air
In a green valley.

IMG_0164

How big is my dream of having a green valley? So big…. Why? Because I want as many animals as possible to live happily in the valley, as many farmers as possible to earn good living in the valley,  and as long as the earth can sustain the valley stays green…. And, so be it with faith….

Singapore – May 14, 2016 – 5:01pam

And It is A New Cycle, Greek….

Our dear cat, Greek just went across the rainbow yesterday May 10 15:15 Tulungagung time. She’d been sick for the past two weeks — one bump inside her stomoch above hind legs had become bigger and bigger, made her weak and her body coul not hold it anymore….

…. We said goodbye today…. Greek, thank you for having shared your happiness, joy and purity with our family. It is not as long as we expect but it’s been a beautiful connection.

I was not there so much with you as I’m in Singapore and you’re in Indonesia with mom and my sisters…. But truly I love you with all my heart! I just planned to see you next week. To hug you….

Such a beautiful soul you are.
We won’t forget you.
Your playfulness, cuteness, chubbyness, all quality in yours is just bondng us stronger with you.

Now you must be above, looking at us…. Oh looking at me especially…. 🙂
You are saying that you are fine, you are happier and more united with everything. Salaam for you, my dear Greek.

You’re just like air…. I’m breathing you.
You’re just like sunray…. Shining on me….
You’re just like water…. I’m fresh by you.
Now, you are more real.
Ever real. Forever real.

IMG_0079

 

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Forgive us for not making you alive for so long, but we’re sure it is also your choice.
I’m sorry….
Thank you, Greek.

 

Say our warm love and sweet regards to Bob, Greece, Greg and all our family members across the bridge.

See you in a better place and time.

We love you so much.

Soul is soul. We cry over the plane that we can’t touch with our body but the soul is always there, lingering gracefully and we still can feel it with our “other” body.
We lose our beloved parents, children, brothers, sisters or pets that we think leave us forever but truly they are here and still close to us if we realise.
Salaam…. to all Souls who rest for the next cycles, rest in peace…. 🙏🙏🙏💞💞💞🎈🎈🎈

IMG_3713

Singapore – May 12, 2016 – 4:19pm