Fly Free

Fly free, Beloved.
Go home when you understand
That you’re peace itself.

Dream is but a dove flying free and to go home when knowing who it is.

May all beings be happy,

RC Gorman’s

Home, A Journey

Have you heard of the word home?
I often think of what it is
And where it is.

My friends all say it.
That it is where shelter is,
That it is where family is,
That it is where safety is,
That it is where heart is,
That it is this earth that spins,
Blah blah blah,
That it is this,
That it is that.

What is a home?

I’m not as intelligent as they are.
I can only tell what’s not a home.
Sometimes my apartment isn’t a home.
Sometimes my childhood home isn’t a home.
Sometimes I don’t feel safe staying in this safest place.
Sometimes my heart is flying across the ocean while I’m sitting in the sofa.
This earth is traveling to where I don’t know.
Sometimes I just don’t believe what my friends say about home.
I’m sorry for being not so intelligent as all of you are.

I will keep identifying what’s not home
Until I’m home.

home, where roses greet me in the morning 🌹

Home

A home, Beloved
Not an outlook— it’s the soul
That hugs when inside.

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I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called “Rumah Bob” (literally Bob’s home) named after my cat Bob.

It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show “me” — the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.

That has motivated me to have a home that reflects “the me that I want to present”. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my taste— of course some were simply too pricy. 😩 I rejected all offers.

Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while I’ve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldn’t have searched through them if I didn’t have enough money — ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! 😂 Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.

I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my father’s home town) and build a home from scratch.

Architect – It’s very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying “Mbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. I’ll get back to you with a new draft.” Thanks to Mbak Novi.

The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think it’s a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.

I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.

A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.

May all beings be happy. 💝

front door, greeting family and friends with all my heart and soul – no fake people are welcome

Time Takes Side

Time flows, Beloved,
To an estuary of hope.
Time flows, Beloved,
To the eternity sea.
Won’t be long before we meet—

Time flows, Beloved
To you through me. White beacon
Blinks red at low tide.
Wind says the woodlands miss me.
Time flows, Beloved. Thank you.

—————————————————————

Don’t take too long a time to fix an issue. Time wisely travels with those willing to appreciate a journey through action taking along with wisdom harvesting. Otherwise, it will bulldoze what’s not solved.

Dear January. I know you’ll transform with me who doesn’t want remedial lessons next year.

Thank you, 2021. Welcome, 2022.

Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiem….

💝

nothing is forever, let go of all that are not serving for my highest good either interest or ambition
no one is perfect, accept the dark side of my own self and learn all lessons either pleasant or unpleasant
balance is feasible only when mental detachment and appropriate acceptance are achieved, I claim the balance
I’m ok, dude…. You’re not? 🤠

Friendly Green

This life, Beloved,
Needs greenery and friendship
To stay beautiful.

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Someone can’t truly live without dreams. Dreams make days clear with focus and full of energy, nights calm with focus and full of serenity.

Simple dreams will do; as simple as doing daily gardening on a small courtyard garden and veggies garden around a house that is hosting simple rendezvous of family and good friends, cooking, teaching free language classes and life skill or tips of management or leadership to those who need, traveling light to places friendly to weaker body, sharing how life is so broad and deep with those who care.

Come true. Come true. Come true. 🐣

Wake up! All is still on paper. Go back to work! 😃

May all beings be happy. 💝

Moment To Simply Live

Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—

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I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.

One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.

When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.

Time to prepare.

Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.

May all beings be happy. 💝

next one week flower arrangement
enjoy the moment
extended appreciation to those in my heart
someday flowers will be daily life for me, not weekly anymore

Wonderland

Good vibes, Beloved,
Contagious and precious
Keep it the longest.

—————————————————————————————————-

Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”

Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..

Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.

More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!

All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!

God bless my dear Indonesia and what’s in it. 💝

A Neighbour-To-Be

One step out of gate
Is a neighbour who greets you,
Supports you with heart.

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‘ve always loved to have neighbours, good neighbours. Bad neighbours? Gosh! They are just those who don’t know how to thank for what they have been given and think that others are more blessed and happier. I had both back then. Now? My neighbours here are doors with numbers, cleaning service and security guards. 😁

Many want to live in a place where neighbours are those greeting and supporting each other with heart. I don’t mind to have a few rather bad neighbours among most good ones. And my home-base-to-be seems showing good signs. A good friend cum a good neighbour-to-be said that her friend owns a restaurant located near the home-base-to-be. A restaurant named “Jiwa Jawi” (literally means Javanese soul) is there right at the back of the home-base.

Wouldn’t it be nice that our backyard is looking out to a restaurant in a small jungle? When the food at home isn’t enough for visiting family and friends, just dial the number and get some to be delivered in no time. Indonesian food will always be one most favourite on the home-base’s dining table.

Another good news, this restaurant is a ground where people can eat, chat, camp, play, gather, pose to enjoy the day! When some intermezzo is needed, just step out of the gate and chill out there. Some friends said it is instagramable.

Can’t wait, can’t wait…. I miss home.

Salaam….

Heaven Is Where?

Where are you now, Love?
Home is around the corner.
Turn right and be there.

One of good friends sent her work of art, compiling her memories of Sulawesi trips into a sweet calling-home clip.

Thank you, Mbak Adek for reminding me that I’ve got home, a beautiful one. A beautiful home is a heaven on earth and in heart.

Home is where heaven is. Good friends make you realise that it’s real!

Salaam.

This video was produced by Adek Azhar. She is a cat lover, a happy mother and grandmother, a good friend, a crazy traveler, a senior journalist as best description of her. Can’t wait to travel with her after pandemic in our small group of awkward travelers! 💞

Only Where I Am

Seeing morning’s sun,
Warmed by noon’s, serene through moon.
Only where I am.

Ever thought that where you are is not the best place on earth? Change your mind soon!

I’ve always loved Asia especially South East Asia. People might think it’s because I’m now living in that place and never go anywhere else. Yes, that’s a primary reason but there are other reasons.

Long story short, I tried short stays in different places with different climates and culture and I conclude that where I am now is the best place: enough sun everyday, relatively same length between night and day the whole year. What’s more we can find friendly neighbours —in big cities people are less warm but relatively quite friendly, access to more vegetables and fruit, food is tastier with touch of herbs, more affordable living cost, and so on and so forth.

Last but not least in where I live spirituality is a daily life blended with nature— no I’m not talking about religion, institutional religion isn’t an interest of mine anymore. People don’t have to wait until certain days to pray, God or god is just a daily reality, sacred in the heart normal topic in public. People don’t have to organise registered charities to help others; not all people are trustworthy but I love in a circle where integrity is topmost criteria to survive. People don’t have to be certified to teach spirituality class; when I was young I simply knocked on neighbours’ doors and asked them about cultural and spiritual wisdom and we didn’t have to pay a cent.

Not ideal to all, but that’s a perfect life to this person

I’ve always dreamed to have a home base in culturally-integrated-not-so-crowded city like Bali, Yogyakarta or Ayutthaya when not traveling. It’s gonna be a sweet, warm landed property that once in a while welcomes family and friends to share ideas about this fun life and their great mind. Oh, don’t forget with lots of plants and at least two cats around! Dog? Maybe, the lazy one so that we don’t have to walk it everyday 😘

Dream on, dear Self. Hug the imagination while weekend is around. 😁

Don’t forget to wakey, wakey on weekdays! 😁

May all beings be happy.

Arid Land, His Heart

I never want to hurt myself, I just didn’t know who you are.
I got hurt by a cactus in a desert
Who pricks little fingers,
Who just want to touch this life softly,
Not hurting, not taking anything away.


Wounded, I decided to blame stupidity:
Why did I have to have to have to have to have to just touch cacti? I should have left that arid land long before I touched a prickly spirit.


A delayed regret is less important than a lesson learned but it always gives a story the most significant pivot.


Now
I’ll just admire from here
From where I stand
With millions of prayers
For a secret journey.
Yet I know you are a ghost days and nights.


Someday when I pour down the rain,
You’ll know.
Love is as sweet as water in drought—
Maybe—
If it is not late....

May all beings be happy.

It’s On My Way Home – haiku

It’s on my way home
There is a road not taken.
Mine is the right one.

Singapore – Mar. 3, 2020 / 17:45

There are times I’ve gotta make a choice, the best of mine. Mine is always the right one because there is no correct or incorrect – there are only right and left…. 🤪

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Before I Know You – haiku

Before I know You,
My Dear. Before I know you,
I’ve loved the haiku.

Singapore – December 23, 2019 / 10:45am

Feeling painful and bored….
Hope days go by quickly
So that I can do things normally like doing household chores, writing haiku, drawing with pencils and working with MacBook or just speeding around on Brommie…..
I still Tell myself to be grateful for and love the boring days.

💝

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End Of Holiday – haiku

End of holiday:

I must go home. I don’t know

Why it feels so good.

London – September 21, 2019 / 08:38

—-

I’m flying back to Singapore this evening. I didn’t know why I shed tears just to imagine opening the door of my home. Maybe because there will be many chores after left for so long 🤪 Plus work, work, work. Still I’m happy!

New Year’s Resolution – serious ranting

My home is near the MRT railway, every five minutes two 6-car trains will go to both directions. And, today they do their routine of life. But there is something different, like they know it is almost 2019 and want to celebrate the year exchange.

The trains sound more merrier.

And the vehicles in the crossroad just down floors below run like no energy is lacking or no drowsiness greets the drivers.

Around where I live there are a lot of trees that I hope won’t be cut down for long years to come. I love them as they are the ones making my breath lighter and healthier. And tonight I feel they send out purer air to me.

And there is a reservoir that is cleaned daily by the boatmen on the blue boats. It still looks dark at night but the water reflection is clearer and more magnificent.

All do more magic tonight…. Because it is new year tomorrow. And I am infected by their spirit of best performance of now here and so I want to be in the harmony with Nature now here and next year.

I might not be able to get a mentor that I expected but I will make myself the best mentor for myself to be more professional – clarity on what I do, purity on what I intend. I might not be the best of all but I will make myself the best version of me – committed and true. I might not get everything I wish but I will make myself to get what’s the best I deserve.

Tonight I welcome 2019 at home looking at my plants in the small balcony, going back and forth the fridge to get cool water – I don’t drink beer fyi, seeing all the passers by, enjoying the dogs’ smell from the one living under my balcony. The air, water, cloud, unseen sky, shy rain, greenery in the black black new year’s eve, all people celebrating far away with the fireworks, all the animals with shelters or without, all the blessed life under the sun, and all

To you I wish a….

…. Happy New Year 2019! The best is welcoming you.

I know next year is mine, too.

Temasek – December 31, 2019 – 11:18pm

 

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Home, House, Imagination

When I was 12 years old (I hope I remember that age correctly), I imagined of having a small cabin to live with my four best friends: Rosi, Ana, Nana, Nanik.

Then at the age of 22 I want to have a big two-storey house with luxurious furniture where I can welcome friends to chat things.

Getting older, around 35 I just wanted to have a house. Just a house, any kind of house as I was so tired of renting rooms. And, thanks God I bought a tiny home near  river bank. A small house with two bedroom, enough for me an my cat to live in. It has a small garden to the right side of it – small, really small full with sand for neighborhood cats to poo and play. It has free walls inside for my orchids to hang…. And the front wall for my wijayakusuma to bloom happily. And, it has comfortable space for friends and family to stay overnight or just pay a short visit.

I am so thankful for what I am given in my life. I hope I still have a chance to share more with all my frineds and family and all animals around me.

Light is coiling around me, praying for the best.

My house is there to pray for me…. I’m here somewhere praying for my house.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you….

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Erawan, Bangkok – March 16, 2017 – 22:16

Universe Is Part of Me

Things to ponder today: Universe is part of me
Not I am part of Universe.

ibu bumi

Was-the-Universe-Created-650x487

I celebrate my life every day to make the Universe grow.
I radiate my positive energy to keep the Universe alive.
Universe only vibrates well when I send positive vibration to her.
It runs down if I ignore her.
Universe depends on me.
🙂

But I am leaning on her.
‘Coz she takes what I give and she bounces the positive energy back to me, after multiplying it first….
Universe is a multiplier.

Universe is part of me.
She lives inside of me.
She grows when I grow.
She shrinks when I’m ignorant.

So, I better grow so that the Universe goes shining inside of me.
So, I better be positive anytime so that the Universe continues spinning and moving to infinity.

Universe is part of me….
I never stop giving her positive energy,
And she multiplies the energy and bounces it back to me.

Thanks, Universe for being my multiplier.
Namaste….

Before Bunderan HI, October 11, 2015 – 12:00pm

Picture borrowed from http://guardianlv.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Was-the-Universe-Created-650×487.jpg