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Experience Sharing – ranting

I’ve lived in this tiny country for more than six years and experience is the one making me the richest. I’m sharing you one most frequent.

I’m physically very ordinary, almost ugly, dark, chubby, short, not fashion conscious. And all in all I am poor or look poor – my source of income is only my monthly salary and some bonus from the company, other than that nothing. So, people can expect unexpected from an “I am” and will think that they can’t use me in a way but suddenly they would get crazily lured to use me up to the driest point when they know who I am — who am I? Nobody.

Ok. Time to rant —

One experience today,

I went to Funan Mall in City Hall area to buy rear light for my bike missing after my minor accident to the office and a tote back to be installed in my dear bike. As normal as a customer ever I greeted the shopkeeper and asked politely if I can get a spare of rear light.

Shopkeeper: What type is your bike?

Although confused with his question I answered “the one with M handle bar”.

Shopkeeper: This is a rear light. You know it or not?

I nodded and said yes.

Shopkeeper: Hey, you know the price or not?

I got a bit heated up because of his constantly high tone since I greeted him, so I politely challenged him: Why are you asking me about the price? I thought it is $45. Is it still the same?

Shopkeeper: So why did you tell me about the handle bar?! And you know the price is $45!

Hmm…. Rude guy! I was guessing he was testing me if I really intended to buy or just walked around the new store.

“Sir, you asked me about what type of bike I have then asked me about how much is the rear light of my bike. Now you are shouting at me as if I hurt your pride?” said I politely.

Shopkeeper: Sure you can buy or not?

I went away with poker face without looking at him then approached the other guy who was younger and nicer.

…. Another experience some months ago

I met a specialist in one of the best hospitals in the city and spent quite a lot to treat my disease. I shared with someone – let’s call her a friend.

Friend: Why didn’t you go to government hospital, it gives you cheaper package with the same quality of service. In this country medical services are quite standardised, only thing if you go to private ones you spend much more. Poor people deserves poor service!

I couldn’t say anything but smiled. I didn’t explain to her that I’m not a citizen or permanent resident that will get such privilege including the medical services. As a human being – knowing whether I am poor or rich – she shouldn’t have said the last sentence to anyone. Anyone, even if really poor

This Friend is still around me. I’m still good to her. And just FYI, it was not her first sharp words that were thrown to my face. I always tell myself that she is just being her, not more not less.

…. Another experience some years ago

I entered the office lobby. Today I would meet my interviewers for the final job interview. I was nervous, happy, worried and excited at the same time. Holding my Blackberry with both hands, I headed to the receptionist.

“Good morning, Ma’am.”

“You want meet who?” Oh my…. The Singlish was a striking welcome to me. 😃

“I’d like to meet with Ms X and Mr Y for job interview.”

“You Rike Jo ha?”

“Yes, I’m Rike Jo, Ma’am.”

“Sit first la. I’ll call them. You can’t use Blackberry, only iPhone here ya. Can not connect internet for browsing la.”

Oh my goodness. What a joke! I’m here to get a job, not to connect to internet.

“Hey, you from where? Indon?”

“Indonesia, Ma’am.”

“Ok Indon ya.”

“Indonesia, Ma’am.”

“Ok ok ok. Sit there, wait for 10 minutes they’ll come.”

Oh my god. And later I found that that receptionist was in-house subcontractor – the worst ever of liking to boss around and boast around talking about the company employees whom she didn’t really like so much. And more importantly, we are not prohibited to use any brands of gadgets in the office – but why bother using other brands if your own brand is the best on earth?! 😊

I still have my other stupendous and enriching experiences but it is too much for me to tell random samples of people from various factors who have judged people by their sole blurry eyes. Let it be, let it be.

Those people have judged me with their shallow mind, unfair position, misleading intention, partial data, insufficient information and the most of it with their pompous arrogance of being superior than someone coming from their backyard.

I am normally just feeling upset then immediately back to normal but today I was so fed up with those people. I pray that they know their points of view are not enough to evaluate others. They need distance, method and clarity to view then evaluate others. They should think before they say. They should listen to understand and not to reply. They should see before they leap…. Or else someday they will fall down and break down.

I will stay here for at least the next 5 years before I’m back to a human being without formal profession. By then I will have been a mature lady who knows that the world is spinning because some good guy accept others’ stupidity as learning curve, weigh others’ unfairness as a self reminder to be always stable, embrace one’s own anguish as the warmth among the cold ignorance of the modern people, and arrange all those into a beautiful arrangement of balancing points.

I still have many good friends here that make my life so beautiful and peaceful. And I will just be their good one, too.

Life is so colourful. I’ll enjoy it, with some ranting on at times….

Salam….

Khatib, July 26, 2019 – 21:03

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The Shoes Are Waiting – ranting

Putting your feet in someone’s shoes isn’t as simple as putting a book at a shelf after reading it. Putting your feet in others’ shoes involve complication of thoughts and risks.

What if the size isn’t yours?

What if the smell isn’t into your tolerance?

What if the design doesn’t fit your feet type?

Is it safe? What if there are creepy crawly in the old shoes?

Is it healthy? What if the owner has skin problem?

And what if the owner doesn’t even let you put your feet there?

Stop!

What if you just have to be willing or not to put your feet in someone else’s shoes?

Period.

On GA822 before flying to my second home — Singapore

July 16, 2019 – 20:30

New Year…. Again? – ranting

December 31, 2018
Last day of 2018
It is another new year tomorrow.
I haven’t even made my resolution.
What resolution? Still need it?
I thought most of my resolution was failure and bursting bubbles,
So better leave 2019 without specific wishes.

Just wanna be a better version of me.
That’s it.

Oh, Life.
You’ve run so fast, dragging me to nowhere but here now.

Happy New Year, everyone.
Live your life to the fullest!

  • expecting longer rant tonight 🙂

Temasek – December 31, 2018 – 7:38pm

 

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Secret – ranting

And from now on I will have to keep it secret.

Sometimes you don’t have to tell anyone what you think.
And I decided not to tell people what I think about a person if not about important things.

Sometimes you don’t have to share how you feel to anyone.
And I decided to not share anything if not important things.

But what is not important about your life?
Everything is important.
So, wanna expose everything?
Hmm….
Ok, yet priority makes it simple.

Yeah, I decided to filter what to be told and shared.
Gosh!
What an unimportant ranting mine is!

Happy holidays!

Singapore – December 23, 2018 – 12:19am

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Forget – ranting

I’m a frequent flyer, constantly the whole year. I’ve got good frequent flyer points of course but that’s not what I want to share about my flight.

It is how I deal with it is more interesting…. Or annoying?

I used to be an early riser, now I wake up just on time without having spare time to step my feet on the floor gracefully. I just jump up from the bed and rush to the restroom then prepare my next schedule.

With such a hurry, I forget something sometimes. Sometimes is not a good expression — so, let’s say seldom. No, just take sometimes ‘coz seldom means slightly better quality — it’s not though.

Ok, I forget what?

I have some experience when I forget to wear shoes to fly out of Singapore. For vacation, no shoes is ok except for the cold weather but for business trip…. You don’t have a choice but wearing shoes and if you forget your shoes, you’ve gotta buy them or borrow them from heaven knows who and heaven knows it is shoe shop.

Once I forgot bringing shoes and I decided to buy a pair of sneakers that I now have to wear. It was a good chance for me to know that pig skin can be made for shoes. Pigskin is much softer for suede shoes. With the various colours offered, I had no doubt to buy one pair until the shopkeeper said to me “Ma’am, they are made of pig skin. I suggest you not buy them, just to be safe ‘coz we are Muslim”. What?! Then I bought a pair of polyester-base sneakers. Now I think I should have bought the pigskin thing!

Then another time I forgot to bring shoes again. No choice (again), I had to buy a new pair. This time I went to a shoe shop where many leather base shoes are displayed. No pigskin, no sneakers, only boots and nicely-cut female shoes and sandals. I decided to buy loafers that look very elegant.

I wore them for a two-day meeting and an occasion. I was so happy…. Until I realised that I traveled for a business over the weekend with two different agenda: one for in-house meeting and the other one after the weekend for a field tour. A field tour! Then I couldn’t wear my new shoes. Should I buy another pair again?

Lesson learned: never forget. Never forget your shoes. Never forget your trip purpose. One important thing: never forget that you are forgetful now.

Thanks, God for my being forgetful. I’m happy that I’m forgetful so I can just say “I’m sorry I forgot.” Gosh! Now I know why people forgetting is given allowance to skip some duties.

Whoa! I left my toiletries in the hotel room. I forgot again!

Thanks again, God!

Jakarta – April 22, 2018 – 07:00

Picture borrowed from https://m.ebay.com/itm/Mens-Florsheim-Black-Leather-Tassel-Slip-on-Loafer-Shoes-Sz-7-1-2-D-fw226-/152823959836?_mwBanner=1

Reflection – ranting

Just yesterday I told myself to stop ranting, today I am using the same word “ranting” for my posting title.

Please just consider it a sign that I’ll write longer than haiku, my favorite type of poem.

Ok, so….
I stand in front of mirror everyday, at least twice a day.
And I see the same person, me–
But with different expressions. Sometimes I look ok, sometimes not. Sometimes I look fresher, sometimes dull and duller. Sometimes I look beautiful, sometimes ugly and uglier. But most of all I feel that I can look better than current condition.

Is that normal? Let’s say yes.

The only thing that is not normal is…. How can I say to myself again and again that I can look better than this but then the next day I can feel that I look worse?
Is it because I don’t commit to look better?
Or is it my mind hijacking me?

Whatever.

Let’s do this again: stand in front of the mirror, say to myself “Hey, You. You are you yourself. If you realize that it is yourself, don’t compare yourself to others cause whomever they are you compare yourself with won’t ever reach your level and nor will you to theirs. You have your own pedestal to be you. And they have theirs to be them. Stop feeling more or less. It is you, the best you however you are.”

And, now I’m standing in front of my real reflection.

Does it guarantee I’m a good person?

No…. It is just a ranting old lady. 🙂

Kaohsiung – April 12, 2018 – 19:12

Below is a picture of mine with a giant durian — you’ve gotta see if I am more interesting than the durian hahaha….

patung duren di malaysia

Just cluttering – ranting

Sitting in my tiny bedroom, I felt ache in my chest and said to myself, “Damn! How can I have so many things in my little nest? What am I going to build of those rubbish?”

Books, bottles, containers, clothes and other things were scatterred everywhere, on the floor, on the table, at the shelf, on my bed. Once again, what would I make with all of these? Nothing but an old lady hoarding bric-a-brac.

Please stop myself. Please….

“When I’m going to read my book, I’m confused which book I should read first as all the titles show me all the urgencies in life. When I’m going to write on my diary, I forgot which one is the most recent one as there are at least six different books and sketchbooks that I’ve used so far. When I’m going to iron my clothes, I’m confused which one should I work on first as the piling rags are covering my rooms. Oh my gosh!”

I stopped for a while and looked at my hands.
Only two hands….
What have they done in my life? My two hands have done so much but not so much, — too much unnecessary stuff.

….

Take a deep breath.

….

I have been clutterring and need decluttering.

….

Start with one simple thing. My mind.

…. Declutter my mind.
…. Throw away unnecessary things.
…. Just take what is needed, ignore what is not.
…. Stop talking, start doing.

Stop ranting!

Salam.

RA

Temasek – April 11, 2018 – 00:40

 

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Layers of Lights (ranting)

Lapisan lambang, makna, ilmu –

Cahaya di atas Cahaya

What you can capture with the eyes are those reflecting the light. The intensity of the Light affect the clarity of the object reflected to the lenses inside of your head.

But what is that object? That depends on what you have been informed through your experience from time to time. The longer the time, the more extensive the description of the object will be. The more frequent the object is scrutinised, the more comprehensive the description will be.

And if you are exchanging with more directions of sources, the object has become not only a description of what the Light has reflected to the lenses inside of our head but you will find that the object becomes a plane to define something else. It has turned into a symbol defining a meaning. The more expressive the symbol is defined, the deeper you search into yourself. And deeper deeper deeper to the abyssal ocean of inner knowledge. From your eyes to your head to your mind to your heart to your bottomless self….

Bottomless self?

It is where you’ll find the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning of the meaning……..of what reflected to the lenses inside of your head.

Layers of meaning is layers of Lights.

Light on light on light on light on light on light….

Light upon Light!

Muar – January 11, 2018 – 00:50

Sensitivity – Negativity (of ranting day)

Sensitivity

Do you believe in sensitivity leading to truth?
Or you just embrace it then let it go?

I’ve been sensitive and let my anger go through the nerve and burn my own ego…. Down.
I’ve been negative and let my prejudice billow through the balloon that wait to soar…. Up.

Oye, Sensitivity.
Please give me a break.

Oye, Negativity.
Please give me a brake.

With sensitivity I should not break my brake just to be afraid of negativity.
I’m not afraid of my sensitivity.
I’m not afraid of my negativity.
I’m sometimes sensitively negative.
I’m sometimes negatively sensitive.
And, I embrace myself for being just that….

Oye, Happy Days….
Please bring Ms. Breeze to bless my wishes.
Please send Mrs. Air to cool my despair.
Please bless yourself to befriend with me….

And, know your real….

Negativity.

Temasek – August 5, 2017 – 01:07am

meeks

Picture is borrowed from http://nasher.duke.edu/lightsensitive/ Thank you!

KEJAM (omelan acak)

Makin banyak manusia berjiwa kejam bermunculan di bumi ini.

Membunuh binatang,

Mengganggu binatang,

Membenci binatang,

Jijik pada binatang;

Semua itu indikasi saja…

Yang pasti mereka memupuk jiwa kejam dalam dirinya…

Baru tadi pagi kutemukan berita di National Geographic tentang cyber poaching yaitu perburuan melalu jalur internet yaitu berburu binatang-binatang dilindungi yang mengenakan GPS collar (kalung untuk mengetahui keberadaan lokasi binatang tersebut); tujuannya adalah supaya para poachers tersebut dapat membantai para binatang malang itu dengan mudah tanpa blusukan nyasar-nyasar di hutan rimba.

Baru-baru ini satu macan Bengggala (India) diburu secara online oleh manusia-manusia jahanam itu.

Kebayang nggak sih di era modern ini bisa saja hewan- hewan yang tadinya nggak langka sama sekali akan menjadi hewan buruan dan membuat pemiliknya ketar-ketir sepanjang masa. Terbayang di pelupuk mataku Bob, Minthil, si Abuy, si Abu, si Korep, Sora, Cedric, dan anjing serta kucing malang itu diburu lalu entah lah dimakan atau diawetkan dijadikan koleksi para manusia kaya sialan yang suka mengoleksi stuffed animals di istananya.

Mulai tergerak hatiku untuk jadi donatur WWF tapi again…. aku kok nggak percaya bahwa mereka ngurusin bener-bener para binatang langka. Makanya aku cuma mau ikutan temen-temen yang ngurus kucing jalanan, anjing terlantar dan jalur-jalur “lambat” lain yang lebih membumi dekat dengan kehidupan sehari-hari. Mereka peduli dan mengejawantahkan kepedualiannya dengan cara yang lebih membumi… Ah, ini tidak berarti WWF tidak membumi – hanya saja WWF terlalu sophisticated buatku…

Selamat menikmati hidup di jaman modern yang dipenuhi dengan kekejaman demi pelestarian hidup manusia tanpa peduli pada hidup makhluk lain.

Eh, sebenetar lagi Idul Adha ya? Maaf, saya nggak korban karena nggak mau salah memilih ternak yang ternyata belum ikhlas mati… Duh, Gusti minta tolong…

Singapore – 12 Oktober 2013 – 16:39Image

 

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