Be Willing To Be Reborn

Rebirth, Beloved,
Rose budding after winter,
Welcoming her spring

—————————————————————

A long lost friend texted me yesterday and asked if I could accompany her to buy sari and some Indian accessories for Deepavali Day celebration in the school where she is now working. Of course I made myself available. And we agreed to meet in Little India at 6pm which I missed. We both met at 6:30pm.

This friend was gone as if evaporating in 2017. Contacted, no reply, not even delivered. My last message to her in 2019 was “Are you still alive?”

Out of the blue she texted me using a new number in 2020 “How are you, friend? I miss you. Let’s meet up.” We were supposed to meet in October 2020 but never happened.

It was a cool rendezvous! We browsed the market to find the most beautiful yet the cheapest sets of costumes for the will-be-merry celebration.

At 9pm we decided to enjoy our dinner in one Indian restaurant before going home. And there she told me why she didn’t meet anyone of us. Now I become more and more convinced that the brightest person can have the darkest time in life. Luckily there’s a light at the end of the darkest tunnel if one is willing to move forward, not quitting.

We’ve been born as a human baby; and we can be reborn as anything good if we want to. One of the best is to be reborn as a new hope with good friends around!

The decision is ours.

May all beings be happy. 💝

a perfect combination of blue and green
pretty Indian kameez
dangling earrings!
bangles!
necklaces!
excitement brought some henna painting 🥰 first of mine in life, will have another one some day! 🎉
dangling sets for clearance (3 pairs for SGD10!) I took one pair, my friend 2! 🥰 pretty!

Moment To Simply Live

Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—

————————————————

I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.

One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.

When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.

Time to prepare.

Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.

May all beings be happy. 💝

next one week flower arrangement
enjoy the moment
extended appreciation to those in my heart
someday flowers will be daily life for me, not weekly anymore

Happy Journey

Birthday, Beloved,
One step closer to the gate
To a rendezvous

———————————————————-

It’s my mother’s 77th birthday and she looked so happy when I called through my little brother’s phone. A happy day for all of us finding that she’s still happy and healthy in this age.

She’s a lady of the house. She’s respected by family and neighbours because of her kindness. She’s cheated though by the greed. She’s loved by her children at the same time official enemy of all of them at certain time. I personally have a shade of rivalry against her, she did envy me how I would be closed with and always got constant support from my father. 😂

My friends want to be like her but I don’t. I don’t want to be like her because her life was too tough. She was born in a period of war, raised mostly without a father and be given a lot of ups and downs in her personal journey. Lucky that she was married to a humble, kind, hard working man and they became one of the best couples in our humble world.

Happy birthday, Ibu. I wish you happiness. 💝 Long happy life! See you at our dining table on your 78th birthday. 😘😘😘😘😘😘

Lots of love as always,

Your daughter (stubborn yet sweet) 😊

this is yours, Ibu
this is mine!!!

Sprung

There’s a renewal;
Flowery, fruitage, once more.
Enlightened each day—

————————-————————

Life is like farming. A farmer only sows good seeds, waters the plant, weeds the grass in the field or garden, prunes the leaves or does other things simply to farm.

Whether or not flowers and fruit will appear, it is not in the farmer’s hand.

Remember, dear farmer. Do your best. Not because you want flowers and fruits but because that’s what you can and should do as a farmer.

Hey, maybe learning a little more about seasons and seasoning. The first is for you to manage the farm, the other is for you to make your life tastier.

Salaam…. 💝

I’ll take care of you, no matter what. I’m your farmer.

Green Can Be Not A Colour At All

Some green book wasn’t green;
As black as history; fun
As unique friendship.

————————————————————

A good watch for the weekend 🎉

How a trip makes a friendship.

How seat position makes different points of view.

How sweet words move a heart.

How a movie draws smiles.

How would you think?

Shape A Good Heart

Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—

————————————————————

Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though

Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though

With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.

Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.

May all beings be happy.

Salaam….

where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝

Life Is Buying Time

Life is eternal.
Strand of dimensions through time
Bargained with good deeds
Also sins. How long? You guess.
Till creation’s obsolete?

————————————————————

September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.

How can I get older yet be more stupid?

There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎

Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….

The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.

Salam….

there’s another life at the end of the journey

Beauty In Spectrum

Canna, you’re a maze.
An intricate bright beauty—
May I have jasmine?

———————————————————-

Some people behave like a maze alive. While impressing others with beautiful look, fascinating sweetness, deathly charms; they often hide the truest true.

Perhaps they are not ready with vulnerability as a result of experiences of untrue relationships. Or, the worst scenario is they have hidden agenda.

While it works wonder in literary or art (some authors or artists want anonymity or pseudonymity, and their works are better sold), it won’t work in friendship. It will be a total failure to some extent.

What are people trying to hide from those called closest friends…. if at the end the untruthfulness stops the friendship from functioning well? Why should ones be pretending?

To someone who is being forced by life for a seclusion:

Please be strong and learn to be vulnerably honest about yourself to your own self.


Wish you the best of the best. You’re a butterfly in the making.
💝

May all beings be happy….

canna lily, “bunga tasbih” in Indonesian, the intricate bright beauty
jasmine sambac, “bunga melati” in Indonesian, the simple humble beauty

Stop As You Wish

Ahead or behind?
Life isn’t racing, but game
Chasing each other—
Enjoy! There’s no finish line.
You rest whenever you want.

————————————————————

Isn’t it fun to enjoy life like enjoying a game which happy children do? We run. We laugh. We scream. We forget about sadness and anxiety. No one forces us to do it. We can slip in the circle whenever we want and take a break when getting tired.

Today’s chat was a bit serious, about how hard it is to be genuinely ourselves in the middle of many who try to find what’s not us. My good friend said that some people have experienced so much or so many lies that they can’t take honesty anymore. They can only accept lies. I agree with her in some way; I’ve met some of that type.

This type of people will always try to investigate who you are even after you disclose who you truly are. An auditor should do that because it is a profession, but a friend should not do that because friendship is based on trust.

I’m lucky to have trusted some of good friends in life and they have trusted me for the same reason. The reason is enjoying life as a game in true friendship, not in competition.

May all beings be happy.

All Directions Are To The Same End

Blessings, Beloved,
Accepting with no review—
See it differently.

———————————————————-

Today’s short message from a wise friend takes one of the longest thought. Lucky me for being alone so the time and space is serving just me.

Sometimes our emotion isn’t our emotion. It might be someone else’s that sits in us because some people entrust the emotions to us when sharing their burden to us. Believe it or not there is exchange of energy when beings are interacting with each other. We get sad when our family is sad. We are upset when our best friends are betrayed. We can be devastated when our pets pass away. The scale of the impact depends on how deeply they get hurt and/or how vulnerable we are to them. As simple as that.

When I asked this good friend why people or incidents are not avoidable although I’ve made best effort to stay away. Her message is “karma”. She is a Buddhist so that reply is her logical response. Besides I see the logic of karma thing.

Although I can’t tangibly prove that I live repeated lives, I live in karma system. If I do good, I get good. I do no good, I get no good. Simple and straightforward forward— whether the cause is the good one in the past affecting the current situation; or the present good deed affecting the future (not necessarily related to repeated life), that’s a certainty

But why the karma isn’t working as one to one? No, karma works like someone who plants mango seed – one mango seed will only give its fruits when it’s ready and the one seed will give the farmer hundreds of mango fruits. That karma. Alamak….!

So what should I do, Bude? I asked my friend.

Her message (translated into English word by word): that is your task of compassion.

So?

Accept it. Grow more good seeds that bad one. Pour clean water to your jug that is filled with dirty water until the jug is overflown with clean water and the dirty is flushed out.

So I can’t avoid them and don’t need to avoid them. The only thing I should do is to accept them without review. The only mandatory review is to my own emotions; understanding whether the emotion is my emotion or unnecessary impact that happens because of weak protection membrane around my own self.

This is not new thing for all of us. Yet 2020 and 2021 have been field of emotional battle in which I’ve learnt how to identify my own and others’. What a period! I wish all is getting better with the upcoming birthday. Amen.

So lucky to have good friends who are willing to accompany me in this journey.

Dear God, love me and love all my good friends. Thank you for giving the blessings of friendship, true one with true one. Please let me stay in the true one.

Salaam.

wherever the directions, the end is love and compassion, nothing else – if we accept it

Journey

Time flies, Beloved
Wraps a flying plane. Bless me
At my travel end.

————————————————————

Finally met my Sensei again after some time! In June I took a break because of some sickness and work. In July and early August she did because she had to take care of her family who were infected with the virus.

We didn’t open the book at all last night. Only a happy reunion checking what had happened for the past 2.5 months without meeting just some hello via messaging. Conversation flew about language, culture and personal experience dealing with both.

At one point she interestingly described about pleasure and purpose that compose happiness.

She decided to retire from her position as a VIP in one of the biggest business empire in the world before she was 40. She knew that she could not work forever and she wanted her own self not her age to decide when she had to quit. She thought she was ready and here she is now, an independent woman with a lot of personal projects and teaching Japanese with a style!

When she worked, she did with all her heart. She didn’t involve herself in office politics that made her not a social darling but definitely made her a genuine and independent loyal. She made decision with wisdom and integrity that made her a leader-maker but at the same time a strong gate of ethics. And she shined in her own way!

A sun is a sun when it knows when it rises and sets. And my Sensei is one.

She said it was a pleasure to work in her position with much luxury but she left because she didn’t see the real purpose she was serving. She was rich but true happiness was missed. She moved out from her luxurious apartment in the heart of Jakarta and rent it out, and moved to her mother’s home – a home full with flowers and good neighbours in East Jakarta. She restarted balancing pleasure and purpose.

Pleasure makes someone’s life sustain but without purpose there is no true sustainability. When one outgrows the other, happiness tank isn’t optimised. Pleasure and purpose is also a blend of colours that creates a perfect hue.

When I said whether she was afraid of losing the grip for having no routine, she said yes for the first two months of her early retirement; she felt somewhat regret of giving up the corporate vibe. She felt like cutting herself off from the world. In those two months she just went out eating, driving, cleaning the house. And after that her life started to bloom in different ways.

She found many more opportunities that she didn’t even know existing. And she is still rich with more leisure time and true friends. She said life is miracle.

Before pandemic she often traveled to smaller islands in the archipelago as a volunteer and annually visited Japan as her old habit. She said she wants to continue that after the pandemic is over, when Heaven knows.

When I said I wish I could do it, she said no. She said what I’m doing is what she dreamt of in corporate life before: having the pleasure of working with purpose. Conversation went more even livelier, we skipped the Japanese lesson and shared about our dreams. A more interesting class!

Last night was one of the great time in life when the feeling of balance surrounds me.

It was 1:07am when we finally said good bye. See you next week, Sensei! Thanks for the lessons.

Life is full of Teachers. Learn from them. But don’t forget the Master in you, live with one with love.

May all beings be happy.

fly life a fire bird to meet the love

Wonderland

Good vibes, Beloved,
Contagious and precious
Keep it the longest.

—————————————————————————————————-

Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”

Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..

Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.

More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!

All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!

God bless my dear Indonesia and what’s in it. 💝

Need Some Stupid Conversation

We are all born naked
Dressed differently in death. What—
Would we do in life?

—————————————————————

Would keep laughing at myself in life because there are many comic moments in life (tragedy + time = comedy) — like being born every time, nakedly honest in front of own self

And would love to live around those who can see wisdom from what we’ve laughed at or jokes in wisdom— pure laughter, no humiliation, no underestimation, but yeah sweet insult 🤪

Can’t imagine how boring to live with those who can’t even laugh seeing their face on the mirror…. 🥳

Can’t wait to meet my best people and laugh at this life, accompanied with home made snacks and favourite drinks! Wisdom, jokes, social politic gossip and some stupid “garing” guessing games as always 🤓

Time is relative so next year can feel like one hour from now!

A Cleansing Talk

Friendship, Beloved
A vast ocean and its waves
Sweeping all debris—

———————————————————

A friend visited me at my lunch break. A short talk made the day.

About her retirement plan to hop from one city to another from one country to another with her husband, future visit to my home base, future visit to Ubud, her sons and the menace, my future plans, health and healthcare, vaccination, and everything….

Our longest talk after 2 years of not going someplace together! She brought our favourite kue from Bengawan Solo! 💝

Couldn’t believe it could happen only in one hour. We must have talked as fast as flash!

⚡️

Bengawan Solo jajanan pasar delivered by a friend today

Journey of A Friendship Is To Know Yourself

Time runs, Beloved
Not flies. Its feet touch the ground,
Planting you deeply
To the journey. Feel the pace,
Beloved. The end is good.

————————————————————

Today’s video call with 6 best friends was at least 2 hours of stupidity in the brink of wisdom.

The talk of health of some of us and overall healthcare in our country has become both joke and contemplation.

One of us said that as a father of two he doesn’t want to be selfish thinking about his health too much. He wants to give the best to his children and if he has to leave them forever, his family won’t suffer of having too little. This oldest of all of us is always the funniest yet the wisest.

One of us said that whatever medical complaints she has, she wants to handle them now. She said she’d better know the diseases how much ever bad they are and do possible treatments soon rather than later when she is older. What a good anticipation!

Another said that he still enjoys everything freely. He called while chewing donuts with heavy chocolate and sugar toppings! What a joy!

Most of us don’t have serious medical issues except that the pandemic in the country is more happening that fear of it is more deadly than the virus itself.

Blahblahblah and hahaha continued when we talked about religions. Those who are religious made fun of us who are “not clear”. And we teased them who are “too clear-cut”.

Fun 2+ hours! Mood booster to welcome another week!

Hope we are all completing everything well.

Take care, crazy good friends! You’re blessed.

Sure we’ll still meet again in a better time! So sure!

💝

just-put-them-in leucadendron and pink striped daisy is ready to welcome the productive week 😎

Friends Truly Taste Summer

A gate wide opens
Out to a meadow. Summer,
Show your charms to earth.

Not that I’m happy all the time but speak happy talk happy smile happy eat happy work happy has made me happier longer than before.

So why not?

Thanks for those humble and kind orbiting around me. So blessed for being some simple waza waza for each other! 💝

It is not easy there but you can do it!

This too shall pass!

Salam…. 🙏🏼

flowers from the desert, beauty and endurance blended in colours like friendship

A Tree, A Friend

Dear tree, wait for her.
She’s caught up but will come back
To give you big hug.
Not that you miss her hugging.
It’s she missing your stillness.

————————————————————

Some friends are so loyal that they still touch your heart even without talking to you.

Thanks to a friend from a distance for her humble wisdom every now and then, for inspiring me silently….

a friend happily inspires one’s friends silently 🙏🏼

How Happy Are We

So you need to move
To be happy? Yes. Move to
Your kind heart. Stay. Smile.

———————————————

I had a group call with some good friends and we asked one favourite friend how she could be always light and calm even when she didn’t have enough materially.

Just as a description about her (with her consent): This kind, humble, strong, cheerful, a bit crazy lady is a widow with two children (both finished their education and are now working to support themselves). Her husband left her without anything for another woman. She works a lot of temporary jobs to survive. She lives in a very small rented house until now. She earns less than USD500 per month. She supports her brother who is physically impaired. Yet she is the one that we run to for advices, wisdom, consolation and she never complains to us, her friends.

She said “Maybe I was born to be happy, happier than all of you hahaha…. Let me put it this way. I’m light because my life is simple. I know I don’t have that much others have and that’s why my happiness measure isn’t the same with theirs. I don’t even think of what you think of to spend a holiday. I know you get upset when your food isn’t good; I think good food is about something edible, clean and filling, not about palate.

And I’m calm because I believe people appreciate me the way I am. Some people think too much about how they look and start behaving pretentiously. I’m not. This is me, carefree, open, comfortable with myself. And I don’t want to hurt others. People might not like it; I just need to be nice and stay away.”

“Are we your friends, Mbak?” We teased her.

“Stupid question! Yes! Because you appreciate me not with money but simply with friendship although you girls can look very ugly when very busy; annoying when very stressed! You just need to go back to this!” She put her right palm on her left upper chest where heart is.

This type of friend makes us real. One who appreciates others not through what is materially defined and knows that one one’s self is appreciated genuinely.

I don’t have to move to Finland or Denmark to be happy. Of course not with nothing. A good laugh and some chocolate (good chocolate I mean) should be the least. Honestly I still want to at least travel there! 🤪

May all beings be happy.

this is the video reminding me to our beloved friend – God bless the video maker/uploader! 💞

Friendship

These two sisters are best friends. True friendship is precious and beautiful: relaxing, joking and teasing around, no prejudice, no pretension, agreement, disagreement, entertaining, no gaslighting, at the same time enlightening.

They talked about regret to let go, connection among all things, the death, relationship with parents and siblings, misunderstood religiosity, God’s love, being stupid, making mistakes and so on and so forth.

God bless these two sisters and true friendship on earth.

Shahnaz Hague and Soraya Haque, God bless you.

Heaven Is Where?

Where are you now, Love?
Home is around the corner.
Turn right and be there.

One of good friends sent her work of art, compiling her memories of Sulawesi trips into a sweet calling-home clip.

Thank you, Mbak Adek for reminding me that I’ve got home, a beautiful one. A beautiful home is a heaven on earth and in heart.

Home is where heaven is. Good friends make you realise that it’s real!

Salaam.

This video was produced by Adek Azhar. She is a cat lover, a happy mother and grandmother, a good friend, a crazy traveler, a senior journalist as best description of her. Can’t wait to travel with her after pandemic in our small group of awkward travelers! 💞