When We Were Young – Adele

How do I love you?
You’re my movie. You’re my song.
I memorise you.
You know me not. Read me not.
Flashback through this diary.
mood booster of today

Is Life A…?

An old man’s waiting
For the sun to rise. He moans
At the moon. “Dark night,
Pull away. You block me from
Beauty.” — Life’s a mentalist.

Who is the true beauty? The moon or the sun? Debatable! It’s a matter of played tricks of layered lights— light upon light with darkness in between. How would it be not cozy hiding under a cool calm night while patiently welcoming morning? How would it be not fun playing in a warm radiant day while cheerfully welcoming dusk?

Ah…. Why should one be getting old while constantly denying what is….

Salaam….

Loving Like Loving A Song

I want to love you
Like loving a song. It's free,
Everyone’s happy
Without jealousy, they sing
In joy.... While you’re still mine, Love—

What a luxury to love someone who’s been the favorite of many…. Sharing joy in silence….

Like this humble song from me to you…. A Javanese love song whose meaning is deep and joyful; filled with prayer and admiration to the beloved – whoever the beloved is meant by the singer.

Music is a beautiful wire connecting the hearts….

Enjoy.

Forgiveness

Anger, Beloved
Consumes hope, kills compassion, 
Drains the lake of love.
Know nothing is permanent.
She forgives all. Karma paid!

Everyone wants to be pleased, which is not wrong. One said that that is like throwing things to a bottomless hole, never ending craving for pleasure taken from others. It is ok to want to be pleased, but don’t suffer for not getting the pleasure that’s wanted.

Change the bottomless hole from a waste field to a mine; that way it would be found the precious experiences, appreciating what’s in and not focusing on what’s out.

Befriending with one’s self is the most challenging and at the same time most fun time. It is 24/7 for the rest of one’s life. Enjoy the ride.

Be kind to others but first of all be kind to yourself, Self.

Summary of a good chat with one best friend.


Short Spell Called Names

Name is a short spell. 
Not yours, Beloved. It’s mine
Hanging in Heaven, 
Echoing after yours called.
You can have it all.

How many names have you spelled in prayers? Are they the bold or the beautiful ones?

I call your name, Beloved ‘coz I know it infuses power into prayers like smoke of burnt incense billowing into the sky escorting dreams to meet the doors….

May all beings be happy….

A Brand New Day

A brand new day’s come
With the breeze through the windows;
With the morning sun; 
With your shadow, Beloved 
Who dances through my heart beats.

To those who have lost the trust of love…. There is always a brand new day, a brand new way.

May all beings be happy….

Secret Orbit

Hidden trough of Soul,
A home where letter and voice
Are silent. Where’s that?
Walk your orbit, Beloved.
They know the way to that realm.

You are not lost, Self. You are tracing back a journey home of trillions years of light and so you might have forgotten what, who and when but you won’t forget how to walk on it. What you need to do is just don’t quit. Don’t ask why, the answer is too clear. How ugly it is now, know that wings are grown.

Singapore – Jan. 13, 2021 / 19:00

Wishing You Jazzy Days

There’s not much to tell,
Beloved. Let’s play it jazz
‘Coz we know the tunes.
You’d sing the rhymes, Beloved?
Or would you please read the rhythms?

No day will be 100% as expected. No one will be 100% as expected, either. And with those expected, we know that only with jazzy mood days and people can be handled without too much stress.

Nothing beats inner peace. And whether you know it or not, I wish you, Beloved a great time, too.

May all beings be happy.

Scents Of The Unknown

Scents of the unknown
Lingers in the air. Muguet:
Earthy, green, floral—
You’ve turned spark to fire burning
Dreams to fuel a sweet journey.

All people love fragrance; not necessarily perfume but yes I’m talking about it.
Let’s agree that fragrance is one of the best gifts in life – I mean…. I am not naturally smelling like flowers, but I love nice air coming into my nostrils and celebrating the beauty of nature through one of the human’s senses. Don’t you?

At times when we are wearing perfumes, we’ll subconsciously reminisce moments featuring individuals that we might or might not clearly remember.

Lemongrass mostly reminds me to Ayutthaya. Jasmine connects to a place in Erawan, Bangkok. Frangipani brings Ubud back to memory. Rose to one factory in Vietnam. Lemon brings me to my humble abode in Greater Jakarta. Sandalwood to my mother who loves sandalwood. Lavender to my father whose pomade was lavender-based. And so on, and so forth.

Recently there came unknown scents that reminded me to some people. I was browsing perfumes, and trying certain fragrances, particular moments and faces struck me stealthily. Goodness! Now I captured them through various fragrances! Moments, faces and nuances intertwined in the liquid. The memories might have been traced and downloaded by our brain! Unknown scents have empirically proved to represent impression caught about someone.

I’m now liking lily of the valley or muguet scent because it reminds this person to a most beloved. I don’t think that person splashed muguet when meeting with me but he suits that attar. What an overestimation it is! It’s ok, he doesn’t know 😂

Recommended: Go for a new experience in perfumery and investigate what scents connect you to what moments or which individuals. You might find a way to get rid of bitter past and/or revive good spirits to be happy.

Guess I know why I can’t relate well to some people that’s why they are connected to certain aroma that I’m not fond of. Probably…. Or just my superstition….

One person’s favourite scents might not be others’ ones.

That’s life.

Singapore – Jan. 7, 2021 / 23:06

May all beings be happy.

one of pictures in Wikipedia – https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lily_of_the_valley

Four-Letter Words

Four-letter word, Love.
I take love to deal with you.
With full risk I know.

God talks about love. Religion talks about love. Many people refer to divinity and humanity.

Rumi talked about love. Ibn Arabi talked about love. People interpret their topic of love in wide spectrum: lustily physical, romantic, humanity, divinity — from the simple to the absurd. And it is always beautiful whatever the perspective is, as long as love becomes the foundation.

You can approach love from your own experience, the message is simply between Lover and Beloved. People may judge your message of love, but you are the truest judge to yourself….

From a seed of awe
Grew secret admiration.
Joy in painful hide
Summed up by a flash farewell—
I love you from where I am.

Love is actually personal experience that internally grows or flickers out based on the quality and responses. I find in my experience loving someone for many years without him knowing it until we took a farewell—he might only know he is special to me and not more; love grows but wisely stops expecting anything. Why expecting if you don’t even get the expected responses from the person and there is no entrance to learn more about the one that you love? Poor me? No, I’m lucky that love has tested me and I pass.

Yes, the most important thing is to test love, how true it is. What if your love isn’t intense anymore? How if the one you love doesn’t love you? How if you find your love evolves? All those rubbish absolutely happen. 😂

It is always good to talk about love. Love deserves a talk, in either low or high pitch, anger or soberness, silence or crowd, far or near, laze or excitement….

A bunch of roses
Present flowers, leaves, stems, thorns—
Where is the root, Love?
It’s left in the heart, where growth
Is truer and forever.

Yet for those who never contemplate or who don’t care, love is difficult to embrace and feel. The vibe can be so fake or vague without physical presence. They need definition of love, which can only degrade the quality of it. Just do….

What have I ranted about?

Too much for the last day of new year’s holiday but too good to be unsaid to start very good years ahead!

I send my best regards to you across the ocean. Happy and Healthy New Year! I love you from where I am.

May all beings be happy.

Singapore – January 4, 2021 – last day of holiday / 14:10

Is And Is Not

Rains talk about it:
What is and is not; unique,
Comprehensive Self.
Woven with thousands of threads,
Dyed in thousands of colours—

It’s about you, Beloved…. You that is understood and at the same time misunderstood….

May all beings be happy.

2020 and 2021

Language is alive
Even in silence. I guess
It’s ears who discount.
I don’t escape, Beloved.
Just my confidence collapsed....

Space is not distance,
It’s a knot between two hearts.
Imagine two words
Without space: cramped and crowded.
Just never disconnect, Love.

Year end is ready
To summarise lessons learnt
To hand happiness
Over to new one. Welcome,
Self, to realm of connection....

Singapore – Dec. 30, 2020 / 00:10

An Ape, Who?

I’m not an ape, dear
Slapping others with gold bars.
I’m a jeweller
Who carves them, puts stones— for you
Who slapped me with your gold bars.

Only human beings have ability to appreciate gifts. Those who do wrong to others with their gifts might be not yet human….

May all beings be happy….

link: https://www.uncommongoods.com/blog/2014/7-didnt-handmade-jewelry/

Literacy

How to read your signs?
My literacy is low,
Your language is high.
Send message, not breeze or wind.
Or else, this pin won’t move out.
pin position in chess

Not good at chess but I know this pin position is a basic knowledge in the game. Sometimes we’re put in this situation and just don’t know what to sacrifice to unpin.

May all beings be happy….

Dark, Fragrant Beauty

A bunch of roses,
Send this prayer as a gift
To those remembered
Through air, land, water, fire in
Dark, fragrant beauty. Amen.

I pray with flowers in a glass vase every week: reciting beautiful verses to those I’ve loved and remembered especially the ancestors, whispering unsaid love to those faraway, wishing they be happy everyday. Some people consider it ancient practice and not applicable or acceptable as modern but I feel more connected to my own self by doing it. So making it a habit

I love the dark mood of today’s flowers combined with my “sogan handmade batik”. It painted a shade of dark beauty with special fragrance and colour.

May all beings be happy.

You Can Read But Umm…

I can read but I
Don’t know what I read and I 
Don’t stop ‘coz I like
What I read. Sounds strange but I
Like to read hidden meaning.

Reading is fun even if you don’t know the meaning of what is read. When learning a new language with totally different structure and alphabets from what you are fluently using everyday, the excitement is there. I was so excited when first time learning writing Javanese alphabets in my childhood and I mostly knew the meaning because Javanese has been my mother tongue; while Indonesian has been second (primary) language. Then Arabic gave me the second excitement when I was around 17. And now, Japanese gives me another excitement and a taste of frustration.

Mastering language is about internalising logical thinking of a culture, the logic of a nation. Why in one particular language structure a predicate is located at the end of a sentence while in the other it is somewhere else. This frozen brain has to work hard to know how Japanese digest facts and blend them into grammar. And all the sweet apology and courtesy all over the language now make me question if they are truly kind in heart or it’s just a muscle of articulation. Forget it. Just learn and know how to use it.

The excitement is here coz I read like a kindergarten student -loud, confident but dreadfully un-melodic”. Yet I love it! Even when I had to finish the super short story Ikkyu-San in 45 minutes. I keep mixing up among ne-re-wa, i and ri, nu and me… Good heaven! (Did I mean bloody hell?) Courtesy please 😂

I also have Yotsuba! for my next. But hey, that can only be started after reading Ikkyu-San smoothly with melody. When the melody and pace are right, read more books! Then get dictionary….

My colleagues in Japan already offered their free time to chat with me in Japanese when I’m ready. When? I don’t know…. 😂

May all beings be happy.

Self Love Or Selfish?

Self love or selfish?
A striking question to me
From me about me.
The answer hangs up the call
Coming from behind my head.


—


Singapore, October 26, 2020 - 9:45pm