Happy Journey

Birthday, Beloved,
One step closer to the gate
To a rendezvous

———————————————————-

It’s my mother’s 77th birthday and she looked so happy when I called through my little brother’s phone. A happy day for all of us finding that she’s still happy and healthy in this age.

She’s a lady of the house. She’s respected by family and neighbours because of her kindness. She’s cheated though by the greed. She’s loved by her children at the same time official enemy of all of them at certain time. I personally have a shade of rivalry against her, she did envy me how I would be closed with and always got constant support from my father. 😂

My friends want to be like her but I don’t. I don’t want to be like her because her life was too tough. She was born in a period of war, raised mostly without a father and be given a lot of ups and downs in her personal journey. Lucky that she was married to a humble, kind, hard working man and they became one of the best couples in our humble world.

Happy birthday, Ibu. I wish you happiness. 💝 Long happy life! See you at our dining table on your 78th birthday. 😘😘😘😘😘😘

Lots of love as always,

Your daughter (stubborn yet sweet) 😊

this is yours, Ibu
this is mine!!!

Light Weekend

This heart is a pot
With seed buried in its dark,
Growing to the light.

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Always believe in the beauty of human’s heart. The darkest of it there is still a dot of light that will brighten one’s life! There must be at least one tiny dot of light.

Believe it. Run free like Bambi playing in peaceful woods.

Enjoy this blessed weekend! Take all light, as light as feather

🐣

Salaam….

Stop As You Wish

Ahead or behind?
Life isn’t racing, but game
Chasing each other—
Enjoy! There’s no finish line.
You rest whenever you want.

————————————————————

Isn’t it fun to enjoy life like enjoying a game which happy children do? We run. We laugh. We scream. We forget about sadness and anxiety. No one forces us to do it. We can slip in the circle whenever we want and take a break when getting tired.

Today’s chat was a bit serious, about how hard it is to be genuinely ourselves in the middle of many who try to find what’s not us. My good friend said that some people have experienced so much or so many lies that they can’t take honesty anymore. They can only accept lies. I agree with her in some way; I’ve met some of that type.

This type of people will always try to investigate who you are even after you disclose who you truly are. An auditor should do that because it is a profession, but a friend should not do that because friendship is based on trust.

I’m lucky to have trusted some of good friends in life and they have trusted me for the same reason. The reason is enjoying life as a game in true friendship, not in competition.

May all beings be happy.

Who Is The Key

I want to want
I want to not want
I don’t want to want
I don’t want to not want

Which one am I now?

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As long as I’m human being, I won’t be able to deny the want and not want. It’s not the verb, it’s the subject. A complication of thinking!

I don’t want to love you but I want to free myself to love one staying in the heart. That’s perfection!

In fact the struggle seems like a perfect circle when two ends collides: things don’t always happen as expected. Then what appears is that the simplicity of acceptance is above perception.

Simplicity is the crown of perfection. 💝

Alhamdulillah….

just do things right – when you’re angry, be angry but just do it right

No Secret

Secret, Beloved
Ice cube waiting for warm touch—
Melts and flows: a stream
Of messages from the heart.
Read or heard of. Clean and clear—

———————————————————

No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.

Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.

Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.

As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.

May all beings be happy.

that year, when a cold caught a cold

Live Longer? Keep Fit!

Chasing the sunset,
Pushing cardio. Keep fit.
For one happy breath—

———————————————

Living healthily. That’s enough to make one happy…. Eh? Not really. I mean that’s condition #1 of being happy. 🤩

Ready for another packed week! Oh, dear Corona…. Would you please spare me from your not-only-making-people-sick-but-also-making-them-super-busy?

May all beings be happy.

Salam….

feeling so free with just me! 💞

How Happy Are We

So you need to move
To be happy? Yes. Move to
Your kind heart. Stay. Smile.

———————————————

I had a group call with some good friends and we asked one favourite friend how she could be always light and calm even when she didn’t have enough materially.

Just as a description about her (with her consent): This kind, humble, strong, cheerful, a bit crazy lady is a widow with two children (both finished their education and are now working to support themselves). Her husband left her without anything for another woman. She works a lot of temporary jobs to survive. She lives in a very small rented house until now. She earns less than USD500 per month. She supports her brother who is physically impaired. Yet she is the one that we run to for advices, wisdom, consolation and she never complains to us, her friends.

She said “Maybe I was born to be happy, happier than all of you hahaha…. Let me put it this way. I’m light because my life is simple. I know I don’t have that much others have and that’s why my happiness measure isn’t the same with theirs. I don’t even think of what you think of to spend a holiday. I know you get upset when your food isn’t good; I think good food is about something edible, clean and filling, not about palate.

And I’m calm because I believe people appreciate me the way I am. Some people think too much about how they look and start behaving pretentiously. I’m not. This is me, carefree, open, comfortable with myself. And I don’t want to hurt others. People might not like it; I just need to be nice and stay away.”

“Are we your friends, Mbak?” We teased her.

“Stupid question! Yes! Because you appreciate me not with money but simply with friendship although you girls can look very ugly when very busy; annoying when very stressed! You just need to go back to this!” She put her right palm on her left upper chest where heart is.

This type of friend makes us real. One who appreciates others not through what is materially defined and knows that one one’s self is appreciated genuinely.

I don’t have to move to Finland or Denmark to be happy. Of course not with nothing. A good laugh and some chocolate (good chocolate I mean) should be the least. Honestly I still want to at least travel there! 🤪

May all beings be happy.

this is the video reminding me to our beloved friend – God bless the video maker/uploader! 💞

Signs – ranting

When sign means nothing,

She’s maybe illiterate

Or dead desperate.



I had a conversation with a good friend, the topic was “sign”. This particular friend cannot read most of non verbal signs and hints from her spouse clearly. What her spouse shows non verbally won’t trigger any curiosity from her; except when he expresses it verbally then she will understand. Facial gestures, body language, more seriously mental vibration won’t do her any ring anymore.


I thought it was strange as a couple should be able “to read” each other’s feeling or idea with a blink of an eye! At least that’s my ideal couple goal.


Then after a while I can relate to what has happened to me.


I’ve been living away from family for more than 25 years; the 7 of which I’ve lived totally home alone (cats and other pets not counted). And that 7-year period is when I think I’ve lost the ability to read what my family is trying to communicate to me. We either don’t understand “the language” or we just can’t accept “the reasoning”. When it comes to language, I feel that our ability to read kinds of personal or cultural gestures have diminished either with my ignorance to their loving and caring behaviour or with their insensitivity to my practicality and logical thinking. We just don’t know how to match things in many occasions and usually we’ll just tolerate each other by saying “no worry, as long as you are happy and healthy”.


When I asked what happened to my friend and her spouse, she said “I just don’t know what language I should use to communicate with him”. Hmm exactly what I experience with my mother and siblings.


“Why don’t you try guessing whatever you see from him? Just to show that you care?”


“I’ve tried but it looks unnatural. He asked me why I did weird questioning and guessing.”


“It is ok, unnatural at the beginning but will be natural when you find the click”.


“We won’t find a click anymore. We are not happy and not meant to be.”


Eh?


At that point I couldn’t say anything. I think she is not illiterate, she’s seriously desperate.


Gosh! Life is a mystery! We, her close circle have always thought they’re the happiest and I’m the lonely. Now I think it is time to be thankful just for a minute to be happier even than the happiest.


May all beings be happy…..

What Makes Weekend Weekend

Waking up (very) late
Relaxed
Watching movies or YouTube videos
Trying some new recipes
Changing the bedsheet
Cleaning all rooms in the house
Eating out if feeling bored with my own food
Joining online classes
Or going to Kinokuniya
❤️
And…..
…. doing my laundry 💔
…. all in all my weekend is like my working days except for the laundry things.

A complete package is always with at least one unpleasant thing!

May all beings be happy

Against Gravity

As if I’m not there.
Floating— I’m a drone over
You, who never cares.

Singapore – July 14, 2020 / 20:24

—-

Expectation is like gravity to a plane that is taking off leaving the runway. Fly away to the destination! Expectation will only overkill your dream especially if the one that you want is not the one that can appreciate sincerity.

May all beings be happy.

349D9DB1-538B-4676-9046-72D2851C53BD

 

Buds Are Coming Out – haiku

Buds are coming out.
Orchids bloom when they’re loved. Ah!
Best fertiliser?

Singapore – April 13, 2020 / 18:40

Once more my orchids are producing bud stems.Yay!

I believe they are happy seeing me who greets and talks to them everyday now.  Once I thought talking or singing to plants was a madness but now I think it is a medicine for madness.

Try it and you’ll find those plants happier by showing you more vibes, flowers or fruits and yourself happier for knowing that you still have friends offline during this remote work.

I wish my orchids get happier and happier and so do I.

May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼

Incineration – haiku for 2020

Incineration
Is open, ready to burn
Rubbish. All is well.

Singapore – December 31, 2019 / 20:40

New year again? 😼

Although a year is just an agreed cycle, it has always directed a human being (me) to (nervously) plan things – end of year feels like a Management System practice for me: reviewing all the goal, action, gap, errors, plan adjustment, take away and self-scolding of why-this-why-not-that. Of course I’ve failed in many corners and turns every single year. Umm…. It doesn’t matter, lovely Self. 😘

And taps on my shoulders are enough to celebrate some success. 😘

Learning from my stupidity, I decided to make 2020 an incineration. A central waste plant to destroy each and every memory and/or situation that doesn’t serve my journey anymore. Decluttering!

I have a long virtual list of those needing to be burnt! One of them could be YOU! 😁

Thank you, 2019 for the ride and lessons. You are loved, you are remembered. Rest In Peace.

Happy New Year 2020! Welcome, this new Self!

Health, Love, Stock Price!

I wish you are all blessed through your own blessings.

….. One more: God bless all animal rescuers on earth! 💝

CD95AE4D-662B-4557-8F48-ECCDA8236E8D

Masquerade – ranting

Life is about masquerading.
How well she acts under a mask determines what the crowds will give her.
Whether she is crying under a smiling mask, it doesn’t matter. What matters is her body languages correspond with the smiles in the mask.

Her cry in the heart will not resonate whatever frequency is spread through the air ‘coz the crowds don’t read the heart. They see the mask and they are wearing masks, too.

Dear, Mask.
How are you?
Are you happy there?
Or, do you need some touch-up of colors?
Let me do it.
I can put mascara, blush-on, eye-shadow, eyelashes or more colors on your lips.
Your smiles shall not fade away.
Otherwise, the crowds will be disappointed and go away.

Dear, Mask.
Do you know how I am?
I am crying for how long you are suffering to look good all the time.
Sobbing when you have to laugh out loud celebrating how grand the victory is.
Weeping to see the mask running low with sweat, tired of grinning at how splendid love looks.
You seem so young but I know you are weathered.
Don’t you want to take a break?

……

But hold on, Mask.
Hold on a second.
Let me think it over.
Let me reckon what I just said to you.
No, no, no.
Do you need to listen to what I said?
Yes, you should.
But should you change?
No!
It is a big no-no.

I am happy that I am here for you.
I am what I am as you are what you are.
I am your shadow, where you can hide for a while.
I am your sanctuary, where you can take shelter.
I am your bin, where you want to dump all your hazardous wastes of make-up.
I am your Lover.
I can be your Beloved, too.

Dear, Mask.
Be a good mask.
Play the best acting as you can.
If life is a joke, let yourself be the greatest Joker.
When life orders pretension, be the greatest Pretender.
You take the best Role in this Life,
With me beyond your Play.

evening-of-hope-feature

Dear, Mask.
Just don’t forget that….
There is the Playwright.
Never ever take action without His bloody instruction.

Dear, Mask….
“Camera! Action!”

Singapore – August 11, 2019 / 10:45pm

Picture borrowed from https://myvancity.ca/2016/01/14/evening-of-hope-gala/

Masquerade is Done – haiku

Heard a sheering cry–
May all beings be happy.
Masquerade is done.

Mount Agung from afar, what can we see in location? Un-rescued pets, cattle, etc…. But the cry of the voiceless is not only upthere, many dogs cry for being killed violently. For food, take the necessary and treat them well including don’t torture them to die. May all be beings be happy….!

Lodtunduh, January 21, 2018 – 01:40

Passed Away

IMG_1692

Our dear Moppy passed away on March 26, 2017 at around 12:14pm Jakarta time. Not a good news for us but we have to face it. He’s lived comfortably in his past years.

I couldn’t write a romantic letter for him earlier as I was too sad to say things about him.

Now that I can write things about him, very little though and not representing my big emotion.

He is happy and comfortable now – happier and more comfortable than when he was in his sick body on earth. And, he is still watching us especially watching Karin Franken who had been taking care of him for his last time before he died. Thank you, Karin – that is what Moppy has said every single day even now.

Moppy, you’ve been our dear dog. Special in your own way, like each of your human buddies are special in our own ways.

Moppy, you’ve changed my perception about dogs. You’ve changed my actions on the animal welfare. You’ve changed my thinking constelation – making me more aware about why we are here….

Moppy, again thank you…. Unlimited thank you.

Moppy, please forgive me for not visiting you for so long…. I know you know why I didn’t come. For you to know that you’ve always been in my diary and in my HEART.

Moppy, be good. Run free! So long, my buddy!

Salaaam….

Temasek – April 2, 2017 – 16:36

Green valley – haiku

Two dogs and a cat
Stroll in joy, breathing sweet air
In a green valley.

IMG_0164

How big is my dream of having a green valley? So big…. Why? Because I want as many animals as possible to live happily in the valley, as many farmers as possible to earn good living in the valley,  and as long as the earth can sustain the valley stays green…. And, so be it with faith….

Singapore – May 14, 2016 – 5:01pam

A Green Pioneer

On a bed of giant stones,
Green pioneer is settling its foundation….
A root-like thread that’s prone
To deform hard surface to cushion.

Expanding considerably fair,
While breathing the air,
Unfolding a bed of soft mat,
Comfort to sleep for a cat.

Some fairies are lingering around,
Seeing if the fresh bed is ready,
And, landing abruptly — laughing outloud,
Hugging their own torso, a giggling spree.

moss-mountain

Picture borrowed from https://narble.wordpress.com/2015/03/20/haiku-moss/comment-page-1/#comment-699

On the bed more and more greeneries grow ahead,
On the sofness deformed under the root-like thread.
The green pioneer is chewing the stones,
Without giving pain to those soil bones.

Behold!
While sitting on the green mat —
Soft, wet and fragrant.
Thank you, Universe….
For teaching me about the happy pioneer.

Moss….

Temasek – October 14, 2015 – 1:00am

Baby Lennon – Happy Baby

Lennon, the baby I met in Singapore Botanical Garden seemed to be a happy boy. He didn’t look afraid when I approached him. He just curiously stared at me without any voice produced. His eyes were moving along with my waving hands and facial gestures.

CIMG0054

All he did without smiling.

CIMG0068

But when I touched his hands, he started feeling my warmth and trusting me. Then he smiled constantly until I said goodbye….

What a bright day!

CIMG0067

Temasek – March 15, 2015 – 12:43am