Jealous Angel?

Do you want to know,
Beloved? He’s an Angel,
Outcasted. Fallen
Of jealousy, arrogance.
So is your pride, Beloved?

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I was sitting on my bike checking the left side of AirPods that was not well connected and so lost the audio when someone stopped by and asked,”Are you lost? What way are you trying to find?”

“Oh no, no, no. I’m checking my audio.”

“Oh, I thought you’re lost ha… See map or what haha”

“No, no. Thank you, thank you, Uncle!”

His question “are you lost” reminded me to one who used to live in an exquisitely designed place called heaven and because of losing one’s clear thinking, one was outcasted. One became incompatible with one’s original position.

Who is that one? Those who read religious history of human creation might know, yet I’m not interested to think of the individual. One’s characters, actions and the implication become more relevant to ponder in my situation at that time.

And it calmed me down.

Sometimes losing pride is so significant to a human being. Sometimes failure to show one’s dignity or ability becomes the core of the day. Others’ perception has overridden the real importance of a success itself, or an action. In that situation someone can turn into a jealous, arrogant, irrational who thinks of two: fight or flight, while one should simply stay calm and collected.

Underestimation or humiliation if accepted positively might be simply inability to perceive what is or misunderstanding of self love. In short only those without knowledge and love will underestimate or humiliate others.

Why should I be upset? What a waste!

I don’t want to outcast my own self from the beauty of being a human being just because of forgetting who this person really is. Forget about jobs or credentials; both are not significant when alone meeting with one’s self.

I don’t want to ignore what’s happening inside just because of my own or others’ perceptions. Let them say I’m low; I’m not low although I’m never high. Let them say I’m nothing; I’m not nothing although I’m nobody. Let them say I’m meaningless; I’m not meaningless although I don’t mean to be the most meaningful of all.

Oh Lord, thanks for sending me an old wise man to show the other side of a coin.

Thanks for making me a human being so I won’t live forever outcasted in arrogance and jealousy.

Dear, Arrogance. Dear, Jealousy. Although not forever, you are still living here now comfortably. Be tamed for me.