The lights, Beloved Bring what dark has long hidden, Disclose where to walk.
the structure in the picture is called The “Monument to Man” located on the hill above Chisholme House standing as an invitation to all of humanity to return to the origin of all love and to express it in the world
it is a tombstone of Bulent Rauf, a sufi master who founded the Beshara School where life is discussed and experienced through discourses and daily experience
i never thought that my inner journey would achieve its major disclosure in that remote place, far away from my home, poles apart from my culture
one friend sent this picture to the whatsapp group: the aurora borealis light on the “Monument to Man” — this brings my memory back to my stay there, a serene at the same time busy days
for 10 days i did a full day of work among the scheduled English morning & afternoon tea, breakfast, lunch and dinner — i celebrated my birthday silently, i kept it secret, and i felt so close to my own self, until now i believe all of us felt the same with what i felt and i wanted everyone to celebrate their serene days without distraction
since then i’ve committed to keep myself true to myself so i can be true to all; but what i do is just a little of it as i am not a saint, i am not either pious or religious, i am a sinner, i am a walking dirt but i want to keep my tiny spark shine within me and so it goes…. a human being in the making
Point zero, my love Here now, unshakeable ground After the earthquakesâ
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Iâve been a full time thinker for the past one weekâŠ. Thanks to the physical weakness brought by the virus! đ„° And here is the ranting abridged đ
Life has always suggested me to walk through places where paradoxical situations exist and has made me weigh what life path should be chosen. Luckily life has always sent me angels (fallen angels included đ) who remind me that life isnât only about exploiting whatâs considered lucrative and physically pleasant; itâs also about exploring whatâs wising-up and spiritually enriching.
When I was young; books, courses, lectures, workshops were kind of âsubscriptionâ I had to shape a level of mental toughness. Yet there was exhaustion and anti-climax for intensity every now and then (good deed included đ). Losing faith, difficulty to trust human beings and skepticism to almost everything triggered me to deconstruct my own mindset.
Another âpoint zeroâ came and brought a decision to take a course inspired by one friend named Eva (not one of my close friends but she is definitely one trusted human being). I promised to myself that this would be my LAST course to finally be unshakeable me.
I flew to Edinburgh and was driven from the airport to a place called Chisholme House by Mr Brix who became an excellent opening of my self re-discovery. He introduced me to the richness of self re-discovery even before the course started. That was when I felt so lucky to have read Ibn Arabi, Rumi and English literature although not extensively and to have learnt Javanese wisdom that is considered âlocalâ by many of my friends (which I always disagree) as Mr Brixâ languages were using all those keywords in the repertoire from my literature reading and cultural wisdom. Indeed Mr Brix was a âgateâ welcoming me to a true friendship or fellowship bonded by humanity.
The course was simply daily schedules for us to an experiencing life or âhuman beings who workâ â physically, mentally, spiritually, socially in connection with their own self, other human beings and nature. Of course the classes was the superb! Collins, Hiroko and Aaron were excellent facilitators and to me they are role models of ordinary yet impressive human being! Collins was a loving husband and father cum the best administrator. Hiroko was a loving mother and wife cum an excellent painter! Aaron was an excellent chef cum wise philosopher! đ
It was so normal a life that I felt so blessed. We woke up in the morning then took a bath or at least took ablution. We started the day with a group meditation â everyone: the course participants, kitchen staffs, office staffs, garden staffs, etc except those who overslept. Then we had breakfast â English breakfast! After that we started the class; the staffs started their duties. After that we had tea break then WORK! Work meant doing the assigned chores (garden, kitchen, house, laundry). After that class again then English lunch! Then lunch break for one hour. Class again. Mediation again. Work again. Afternoon tea. Personal time (we could go to the hill, forest, sleep, talk to staffs or participants, whatever). English dinner. Discussion time. Free time. SleepâŠ. Repeat.
Completing the âself re-discoveryâ, I found that life is like riding bicycle, balancing while moving. I lose, I win. I fall in love, I break heart. I get sick, I get cured. I trust, I distrust. I think, I feel. I work, I take a rest.
Balancing is about knowing the limit. I lose against someone/something but I gain wisdom. I fall in love at the same time I have to accept the unpredictable responses. I get sick then I will be cured. I trust with or without reasoning yet can also distrust because of the true or false reasoning. I think based on logic yet when logic doesnât count, only feeling of acceptance will neutralise the situation. And, when I am tired, I should take time-out. Just like that!
And I actually graduated with flying colours from many âextraâ lessons: doing laundry, washing dishes, house keeping, potato harvesting, making bread, cooking English lunch, preparing dining table, raking dry leaves, going up and down the hills in the rain, walking in the moorland, listening to silence, listening to othersâ opinions, identifying and recognising true intelligent people, trusting the right people at the right time in the right place, respecting stupid idiot (myself included đ), taking a bath in the cold morning, and more and more!
And yes, that was the last course in my life. Ordinary yet impressive, like what I always want myself to be to and for those having in touch with me.
I want to be back there not as a participant but as a guest in the English breakfast or lunch bringing a best friend who deserves an ordinary yet impressive life.
âŠ. đ
Thanks for today! đŽ
SalaamâŠ
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farmhouse where participants and volunteers slept during the âSelf Discoveryâ in Chisholme Institute (there are male house, female house and couple wing) – missing the place and good friends there đ
the main house where we meditate, contemplate, brainstorm, do household chores, enjoy meal and good company during the âSelf Discoveryâ
âThe Monument to Manâ: this place is one of reminders for me to stay on this track: a track where life abundance isnât always represented by or captured through social high class and luxury show off – âve lived among those with abundance yet humbly bowing to the underprivileged – thank you for this decent life đ
hi, Edinburgh! Iâm sure Iâll be back đ„° next time with someone I love with heart and soul đ
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