Tag: guilty

Pleased, Guilty

Learning, Poetic, This Person

Pleased and guilty, love
Intertwine with her black hair,
Making some balance.
They will fall and get flushed out
When the root is weak or dried.

today’s dinner after work (from remote on Monday)

i started cooking almost all my meal in early 2020 when working from remote was applied due to the pandemic; since then i only eat out with colleagues, friends or visiting families or when i myself want to eat Japanese food (good Japanese food needs refined ingredients and high skill that can only happen in a pro place) — no one can cook my Indonesian food better than me 😀

i also started doing all household chores that were before done by a paid assistant

since then i don’t want to give up doing it, even if i have to stay up late i will do all by myself for self satisfaction — so pleased to be moving around at home

just yesterday my regular assistant finally requested to go back to take my weekly chores like before (since pandemic i only call her in emergency situation) — i could not say yes or no as it is not about money anymore although it is not a big expense to do (my mother will complain and say it is an act of ignorance — i’m sorry, Ibu 😘)

i’m still feeling guilty since i finally said no this morning, i told her that i might call her just for occasional need and include her in my meal list when i have something special in my kitchen 😘

i feel that giving up household chores is like giving up some part of my moving meditation

cooking, cleaning, gardening (small group of potted plants), laundry, etc give me sanctuary from routine at work — also honestly give me excuse to reject some (unnecessary) invitation from (unwanted) people

this guilt will be difficult to go away i know

but i prefer losing compliments rather than losing my sanity

💕

Explain, please? No, Thanks!

Bob, Learning, love

People need others to understand what is going on, it is normally in interview or interrogation room. You’ll explain what’s your expertise, or why you are here, or what you expect people to know about what you’re doing. And, you’ll explain when explaining it will get the work done. Aside from that, no explanation is mandatory.

If you think what you are doing now need others’ understanding, it is not totally correct. Sometimes it is only feeling detecting one’s being guilty of having people misunderstood or totally lost about what is happening to us. No worries. The show must go on — as you wish. It’s your life, it’s your choice to do whatever is required to get your life DONE. As long as you don’t disturb others’ life — others are others, any other creatures.

Don’t let yourself like either the ostrich or the zebra in my below picture. Either or them is enjoying their life. The ostrich might think the zebra is annoying — I don’t think so because before this scene the zebra was with the rest of its group enjoying the green fresh grass until the ostrich got crazy breaking the zebra lot. The other zebras just went aside to another corner of the grass, while this one zebra was going around and around entertaining the ostrich…. Are they enjoying? The ostrich was, the zebra was freaking out!!!

So, the best thing is enjoying and starting to stop feeling guilty. People should be busy with themselves instead of bothering others.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

IMG_0386

Temasek – December 6, 2014 – 3:38pm