rendezvous – rike jokanan

Rendezvous and Rare Chat (ranting)

Learning, love, This Person, Those People

I went out for dinner at the last night stay in Hanoi with some old friends (all auditors I met before I joined this company) and our conversation like always went astray, this time to Q&A about why some of us are singles after 40.

Among 11 of us going, 4 are singles and only I am open to marriage, the other 3 just want to have temporary partnership or commitment without marriage. And so I became the center of discussion; curiosity at its highest season. 😁

Friend (F): At your age, you still want marriage?!!!

Me (M): Yes. That’s the only committed romance I want when a man approaches me. I don’t need a long dating before marriage either.

F: But you’re a romantic type who will need sparks to bloom first before marriage.

M: I will not let a man approach me if I don’t have a spark. Or, if I sense he is just playing around, I will buy strong eraser to erase my sparks immediately. I don’t want to be broken hearted again. The rule is no sh*t, no one between us.

F: So rigid! Put some fun!

M: Marriage is a commitment so I need to make it true and real from the start with some fun. The full fun can wait and it is forever. Am I right, hey married friends? (Most of them agreed; a few of them complained about the boredom of being with only one partner.)

a heavily-romantic song from Sal Priadi that might depict a definition of romance to me 😁

F: I wonder what kind of man you are attracted to.

M: No particular.

F: Must be Muslim?

M: No. I stopped talking about religion since forever. A man with religion is not a guarantee, based on my long observation.

F: Handsome?

M: As long as someone is a man, I can call him handsome.

F: Rich?

M: Not necessarily but I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have enough resource to take care of his family. I don’t want someone from a family that has tendency to overestimate its own and underestimate others. Socioeconomic charisma in society is never my criteria. My criteria is simply stable protection; I don’t look for high profile family.

F: So, what type do you want? Seems humble but you are actually picky!

M: Why are you irritated by my preference?

F: I mean you are 49, don’t you think you need to simplify your criteria?

M: I have done it and I only have 5 main criteria.

F: Name them, lady.

It was funny that I felt life became so roomy when I was able to tell who I am to other human beings without forcing.

M: 1. Sexually straight — I respect LGBTQ++ but I don’t want to be in a romance with them. 2. Not abusive verbally, paychologically and especially physically — abuse is never good, 3. Loyal to me then his and my families — 4. Independent including in making decision for himself and later him and me, 4. Responsibly hardworking.

F: Why hardworking? Smart working no?

M: I don’t know what smart working is, maybe it is just another tyoe of hard working. I saw my father, a hardworking man who took care of his family to the best he could. He might not have been able to make us super rich family but he never gave up. He was a responsible man by being hardworking. We are respected because my father had dignity in his life. No lazy man is welcomed.

F: I am lazy at the weekends, Rike.

M: And you are seriously married. A good combination to a no.

There were other questions but not shareable here. Too private and personal 😎

F: Do you feel lonely?

M: I am not except in a long biz trip like this. Hotel room never feels home after one week for me. When I am home, I never ever feel lonely; I love staying home with or without company.

F: I pray for you.

M: For what?

F: To marry your true love.

M: Thank you! (Funny to accept the prayer from the atheists; so officially that day I started believing that all human beings believe in a power beyond life, some just don’t find the right concept they can accept.)

We enjoyed the chicken claws that tasted much more delicious that evening because of our conversation. Laughter and beer (for me no beer) made the short rendezvous worth goldbars. Then we travelers walked back to our hotels and residents drove back home.

I love my friends! They don’t judge my choice how much ever different it could be.

Be happy, dear friends. See you in our next rendezvous!

to my true love, i am saying hi to you before you arrive,

but if you don’t, do believe that i’m ok with or without you

💕

In Our Rendezvous

Learning, This Person, Those People

In our next
Next
Next rendezvous
We won't see but white
And laughter
Decorating the day.
All bad times will be forgotten,
Leaving early with the short memory
Giving us only good times
And an ease that next stage
Is just another
Rendezvous.

—

if we all survive by then, my best friends and i will look like this 😍 all of us will wear spectacles 😁 how sweet and romantic a friendship can be ❣️

picture from Pinterest

Friday

Learning, Poetic

Friday, this bright light blinks to the eyes not stopping staring at the heart.

—

Masjid Istiqlal — after more than 10 years

waiting for a friend who said “let’s meet up in Istiqlal Mosque, Thursday night welcoming Friday would be a good night to pray for beautiful 2023” 💝

Quarter

Learning, love, Poetic

Life is a quarter
With many doors to access.
Ever rendezvous—

—

me, Mel the mother of groom and Choo photographed when we were having good time after the wedding matrimony 💝 souls meet for a good reason, no bad reason at all 😘

Sweet Surprise

Learning, life, Poetic

Unforeseen, unplanned—
Life’s rich: men, events, chances
Bring moments of truth.

—

This evening I met up with two Saigonese friends— not planned, not predicted. We sent each other messages and found that we three were in Hanoi and decided to have dinner together.

OP’s coffee with milk, LP’s coconut coffee, my black coffee 🥰

His message to me: “I’ll pick you up once you’re prepared”. Her message to me: “Let me know when you arrive at hotel, I’ll kidnap you”. And they both came in the same taxi with different intension. 😁

For years we have always wanted to meet in Ho Chi Minh City to eat south pho bo and life preferred pulling us together in Hanoi for north pho bo.

Hanoi pho – sweeter, no ngogai leaves (Javanese coriander) and slightly murky, good especially enjoyed with friends 😍

A happy rendezvous! All was good. The only minus was that I had much noodle as part of dinner. 🙃 See you in HCMC!

I hope to get other sweet surprises. Or at least I commit to feel good no matter what so any surprises will be sweet.

Salaam.

sweet surprise story shared to me: he was a medical doctor before a major accident that took away some of his physical ability and his job; now he is a part time historian bringing tourists to historical places in Hanoi in the evening and a full time employee in a pharmaceutical company in the day; recently he escorted a surgeon with his wife doing social work in Vietnam who happens to be in the same project with a Vietnamese surgeon who happens to be this historian’s roommate in medical school years ago; long story short what life brings is often unpredictable, hope for the best! 🙏🏼

A Name

Learning, Poetic

A name, Beloved,
Sound of rustling, not the leaves;
My mind sees leaves though.

—

After more than two years, we finally gathered here for a dinner that was misunderstood. Most of us thought it was Thai food seeing the name of the restaurant “Thai Village” but then we found it was Chinese food restaurant that has been here for more than 20 years.

It didn’t matter at all! Just no pork for me. And the talks and laugher did matter much more to all of us.

Oh, name…. You’re not my beloved but you can bring my beloved here. 💝

Thanks for the rendezvous!

Only Hideaki and Sab knew it was Chinese food restaurant because they are Singaporean born and raised in Singapore. The rest got fooled by its name 😄

Be Willing To Be Reborn

Learning, Poetic, Those People

Rebirth, Beloved,
Rose budding after winter,
Welcoming her spring

—————————————————————

A long lost friend texted me yesterday and asked if I could accompany her to buy sari and some Indian accessories for Deepavali Day celebration in the school where she is now working. Of course I made myself available. And we agreed to meet in Little India at 6pm which I missed. We both met at 6:30pm.

This friend was gone as if evaporating in 2017. Contacted, no reply, not even delivered. My last message to her in 2019 was “Are you still alive?”

Out of the blue she texted me using a new number in 2020 “How are you, friend? I miss you. Let’s meet up.” We were supposed to meet in October 2020 but never happened.

It was a cool rendezvous! We browsed the market to find the most beautiful yet the cheapest sets of costumes for the will-be-merry celebration.

At 9pm we decided to enjoy our dinner in one Indian restaurant before going home. And there she told me why she didn’t meet anyone of us. Now I become more and more convinced that the brightest person can have the darkest time in life. Luckily there’s a light at the end of the darkest tunnel if one is willing to move forward, not quitting.

We’ve been born as a human baby; and we can be reborn as anything good if we want to. One of the best is to be reborn as a new hope with good friends around!

The decision is ours.

May all beings be happy. 💝