Breathing

Breathing, Beloved,
Dive with it slowly, knowing
It can blaze and burn.

—

So much swarmed in mind today. This brain was so busy processing unclear things that it could not process what truly happened within. All dots of thoughts felt like molecules bumping with and crashing each other in Brownian motion. The internal Brownian motion expanded externally and bad mood caused physical discomfort.

For around 12 hours the bad mood and physical discomfort was densely lingering. Reading, cooking, eating, drawing, writing, washing, watching YouTube, listening music, checking suitcase for next trip, taking shower, even sleeping didn’t help stabilise the emotion. Alamak I didn’t understand what was going on.

At dusk time I took a seat in one bedroom corner, closed eyes and paid attention to breathing. Very fast— it was not my normal breathing speed. Then trapped emotions were found: unexplainable insecurity and anger. After around 30 minutes normalising my breathing speed, the bad mood was totally gone.

I’m sorry for ignoring you, breathing. It can’t be denied that my physical has given me signs of what happened inside. This physical has always reminded me about what emotions are dominating. The dominating emotion indicates what energy is attracted — positive or negative. Don’t ignore signs given by body; not even once!

Lesson learnt: Some dominating stuffs don’t deserve priority. Severe weather, bitter messages, false news —even if affecting me— deserve to be smacked down! Don’t try me, bitch(es)! 😄

New week is gonna be nice! 🤓

Alfatihah.