Moment To Simply Live

Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—

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I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.

One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.

When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.

Time to prepare.

Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.

May all beings be happy. 💝

next one week flower arrangement
enjoy the moment
extended appreciation to those in my heart
someday flowers will be daily life for me, not weekly anymore

Stop As You Wish

Ahead or behind?
Life isn’t racing, but game
Chasing each other—
Enjoy! There’s no finish line.
You rest whenever you want.

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Isn’t it fun to enjoy life like enjoying a game which happy children do? We run. We laugh. We scream. We forget about sadness and anxiety. No one forces us to do it. We can slip in the circle whenever we want and take a break when getting tired.

Today’s chat was a bit serious, about how hard it is to be genuinely ourselves in the middle of many who try to find what’s not us. My good friend said that some people have experienced so much or so many lies that they can’t take honesty anymore. They can only accept lies. I agree with her in some way; I’ve met some of that type.

This type of people will always try to investigate who you are even after you disclose who you truly are. An auditor should do that because it is a profession, but a friend should not do that because friendship is based on trust.

I’m lucky to have trusted some of good friends in life and they have trusted me for the same reason. The reason is enjoying life as a game in true friendship, not in competition.

May all beings be happy.

Quests

Dogma, Beloved,
The least she can hold in life.
She is full of quests.

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What human beings should think of being sick is it is a tool materialised by Life to make them stop or at least slow down especially from analysing every single thing. Yet human beings often forget that blessing should not be always gift-wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons; it might be sometimes humbly bundled in a sack.

Blimey! Why do I have so many sacks? And poorly unable to untie them successfully 😎

May all beings be happy.

a pile of ugly sacks; filled with all the richness of nature

A Cleansing Talk

Friendship, Beloved
A vast ocean and its waves
Sweeping all debris—

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A friend visited me at my lunch break. A short talk made the day.

About her retirement plan to hop from one city to another from one country to another with her husband, future visit to my home base, future visit to Ubud, her sons and the menace, my future plans, health and healthcare, vaccination, and everything….

Our longest talk after 2 years of not going someplace together! She brought our favourite kue from Bengawan Solo! 💝

Couldn’t believe it could happen only in one hour. We must have talked as fast as flash!

⚡️

Bengawan Solo jajanan pasar delivered by a friend today

A Tree, A Friend

Dear tree, wait for her.
She’s caught up but will come back
To give you big hug.
Not that you miss her hugging.
It’s she missing your stillness.

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Some friends are so loyal that they still touch your heart even without talking to you.

Thanks to a friend from a distance for her humble wisdom every now and then, for inspiring me silently….

a friend happily inspires one’s friends silently 🙏🏼

How Happy Are We

So you need to move
To be happy? Yes. Move to
Your kind heart. Stay. Smile.

———————————————

I had a group call with some good friends and we asked one favourite friend how she could be always light and calm even when she didn’t have enough materially.

Just as a description about her (with her consent): This kind, humble, strong, cheerful, a bit crazy lady is a widow with two children (both finished their education and are now working to support themselves). Her husband left her without anything for another woman. She works a lot of temporary jobs to survive. She lives in a very small rented house until now. She earns less than USD500 per month. She supports her brother who is physically impaired. Yet she is the one that we run to for advices, wisdom, consolation and she never complains to us, her friends.

She said “Maybe I was born to be happy, happier than all of you hahaha…. Let me put it this way. I’m light because my life is simple. I know I don’t have that much others have and that’s why my happiness measure isn’t the same with theirs. I don’t even think of what you think of to spend a holiday. I know you get upset when your food isn’t good; I think good food is about something edible, clean and filling, not about palate.

And I’m calm because I believe people appreciate me the way I am. Some people think too much about how they look and start behaving pretentiously. I’m not. This is me, carefree, open, comfortable with myself. And I don’t want to hurt others. People might not like it; I just need to be nice and stay away.”

“Are we your friends, Mbak?” We teased her.

“Stupid question! Yes! Because you appreciate me not with money but simply with friendship although you girls can look very ugly when very busy; annoying when very stressed! You just need to go back to this!” She put her right palm on her left upper chest where heart is.

This type of friend makes us real. One who appreciates others not through what is materially defined and knows that one one’s self is appreciated genuinely.

I don’t have to move to Finland or Denmark to be happy. Of course not with nothing. A good laugh and some chocolate (good chocolate I mean) should be the least. Honestly I still want to at least travel there! 🤪

May all beings be happy.

this is the video reminding me to our beloved friend – God bless the video maker/uploader! 💞

Rejection vs Ignorance – chatting

A cute conversation in a weekend happened when two besties missed each other. The convo went well until a topic came up.

Friend 1: What is worse than being rejected?

Friend 2: What is worse than being rejected?

Friend 1: Being ignored.

Friend 2: Are you teasing me? I’ve known it from the beginning.

Friend 1: Why did you let yourself be ignored then? You’re doomed. What a stupid move.

Friend 2: I didn’t prepare ignorance, I prepared rejection. But I learnt my lesson.

Friend 1: Lesson? What subject? (might be saying while smirking)

Friend 2: Distance-speed-time formula (whatever one wanted to say)

Friend 1: Hmm…. Seems that you already master it now.

Friend 2: Pretty much.

Friend 1: So?

Friend 2: So what?!

Friend 1: Oops. Sorry. You learnt your lesson, I know. Don’t trust that type of subject. Don’t be naive ever again !@#$%^&*()_+!

Friend 2: !@#$%^&*()_+!

Then both laughed together. That’s what friends are for – tasting each other’s bitterness, ridiculing each other’s foolishness and throwing worst wisdom to each other’s nose.

Through the FaceTime audio

FaceTime_Audio_Call.jpg

Thank you for the picture to: https://www.macworld.co.uk/how-to/iphone/how-facetime-iphone-3583186/ 

Hero – song

This song by Mariah Carey, Hero has been a good earplug for me. Been feeling so tired of my own self – being not confident with all what I called weaknesses. Until I found that points of weakness are where our strenghts stand out. Enjoy…. ❤

There’s a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don’t have to be afraid
Of what you are
There’s an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It’s a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don’t let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You’ll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you

 

 

Singapore – May 22, 2017 – 00:45

Angkor Wat – old city

I visited Angkor Wat, Siem Reap of Cambodia last week with three of my friends – Mbak Roh, Mbak Endang and Agnes. We did quasi backpacking – why quasi? Well, we decided to travel light – they flew AirAsia which tickets were purchased one year ago – but pack things in pretty luggage.

We stayed in a cheap inn of USD35.5 per night instead of fancy Park Hyatt or Le Meridien and took tuk-tuk everyday instead of rented car. It was a cool journey!

Some pictures captured show the joy! Enjoy!

Singapore – August 28, 2016 – morning….

Manusia – poem (bilingual)

Pilihlah jalan
Yang termudah
Untuk jadi manusia:
Rasakan….
Indahnya tarikan nafas dan hirupan udara.

Rasakan….
Kicauan burung lewat kupingmu.
Rasakan….
Pijakan pada bumi di setiap langkah
Perlahan.

Jika mata masih berguna,
Rasakan warna dengan matamu —
Yang muda cerlang
Atau yang tua merabun.
Rasakan saja.

Dan, kala rasa nyeri masih melingkar di hati
Demi melihat makhluk-makhluk terlunta-lunta
Tersiksa oleh yang berkuasa;
Rasakan dan lepaskan derita itu,
Bungkus dengan cinta dan pengampunan.
Dan, engkau manusia….

Mudah jadi manusia,
Kan?
Mencintai.
Welas asih.

===========================================

Human

Choose a path:
The easiest way
To become a human.
Feel it….
The beauty of breath with every inhaled air.

Feel it….
The chirps of birds through your ears.
Feel it….
The steps you hit on earth
Slowly.

If the eyes are still open,
Feel the colours with your eyes
Either young bright eyes
Or far/near-sighted ones;
Just feel.

And, if the pain is still there in the heart
To see the underprivileged creatures
Tortured by the privileged rankers;
Feel the pain and release it,
Wrapped in love and forgiveness.
And, you are human….

Easy ways
To be human, huh?
Love.
Compassion.

IMG_2584

My human kind friends…. (Karel, Riduan, Sapto, Eko, Dinah) – Bravo, buddies!

Temasek – March 5, 2015 – 10:58pm

Listen

Sometimes you are tired of listening to friends who keep saying they are tired of walking down their life path.
Sometimes you are bored of listening to people who keep thinking they are the unluckiest ones on earth.
Sometimes you are just wondering what those people are talking about and you just say “uh-uh” at the end of every sentence they say.
Sometimes you are just smiling at the end of the table to confirm that they just want to be heard and not really care whether you are really listening or not.

That’s fine….
Life is about enjoying.
So, let’s enjoy the listening part.
Open the ears wide, and more than that HEART wide to suffice what those people are craving: to be listened, to be care.
Because they feel abandoned in their own life, in their own self…. Without realizing that they are feeling that way.

But, willingness doesn’t come easy. It sometimes gets dragged aside by weak body and heavy days…. So, forgive yourself for not listening to every whining and complaining….

Oh…. What a beautiful life! What a beautiful journey! I think I know why I am here.

If only I can tell them to listen to their own selves.

large

Penang – January 21, 2015 – 4:46am

Picture borrowed from http://weheartit.com/entry/group/694625

Why English?

I posted more writings in English recently compared with when I was in my dear old Multiply. Why? Am I Americanized or “Englished”? No, I am not – this heart is still so much Nusantara and Indonesian.

Moving to WordPress was a very no-choice-than-dead decision because Multiply was frozen by the owner so unfairly – well, it was their right and I respected them. And, the easiest way to move all my “belongings” is WordPress, in a way that most of fellow Multipliers gave comprehensive suggestion on how to transfer all writings to this blog site. Then so be it! I didn’t want to lose any single thing although I did — Some writings were just gone or simply disconnected from the links.

Another sad thing was I lost many of my contacts — some moved to other blog sites, others to Facebook, others to twitter and the others frustratingly stopped blogging. The ones moving to wordpress also haven’t shown active appearance. I have felt so lonely – alamak* too much an expression 🙂

The ones appearing in my Readers are all English speaking bloggers, very very rare Indonesian writings are there; and that’s why I decided to write and comment more in English to feel like really communicating. At the same time I have sought more Indonesian speaking bloggers to feel more homey – alamak* another too much an expression. But it’s real…. 🙂

I’ve met some recently and I think it’s time to express more in bi-lingual or Indonesian. Not an official decision though ha ha….

  • (alamak): exclamation word like gosh, darn

==========================

Akhir-akhir ini saya posting lebih banyak tulisan berbahasa Inggris dibanding dulu saat masih di Multiply. Kenapa sih? Sok Amrik atau sok Inggris? Nggak juga – hati ini masih Nusantara dan Indonesia banget.

Pindah ke WordPress adalah keputusan yang “nggak ada pilihan kecuali mati” karena Multiply dibekukan secara sepihak oleh pemiliknya – ya, hak mereka sih dan saya hormati keputusan itu. Dan, cara yang paling gampang adalah mindahin semua hak milik saya ke WordPress, secara kebanyakan teman-teman Multiplier kasih saran yang lengkap banget tentang cara memindahkan blog ke WordPress, yang lain susah deh dan banyak yang gak bisa kebawa. Ya udah deh! Saya juga nggak mau kehilangan satu tulisan pun walaupun udah banyak juga yang hilang atau terputus dari tautannya.

Yang sedih lagi adalah hilangnya kontak — beberapa pindah ke blogs lain, beberapa jadi Facebookers atau tweeps sejati, ada juga yang ngambek dan nggak mau nge-blog lagi. Yang pada pindah ke WordPress juga nggak aktif-aktif amat. Kesepian euy! Alamak lebay!

Jadi kebanyakan yang muncul di Readers ya yang nulisnya bahasa Inggris, jarang banget yang berbahasa Indonesia atau Jawa; so, saya saat itu memutuskan nulis pakai bahasa Inggris ajeh biar berasa komunikasi beneran gitu. Pada saat yang sama gue nggak putus asa, hunting bloggers yang berbahasa Indonesia biar tambah kerasan di WordPress. Lebay lagi! Tapi bener lho.… 🙂

Udah ketemu beberapa. Yay!

Ya udah deh basal komunikasi pakai dwi-bahasa atau Bahasa Indonesia aja. Nggak janji juga sih ha ha….

tumblr_m14xmvT0br1qz78ofo1_500-341x250

Picture borrowed from https://voxy.com/blog/index.php/2012/08/the-bilingual-mind/

Malaysia – November 5, 2014 – 1:52am

Busy

I am so busy with myself.

My friends — some — think I’ve been so ignorant to them.

Then they left me behind.

Not sure what they want form me. They want my attention maybe…. But they at the same time forget that I need to share my self with my own self. I’ve been giving them my whole attention and it is time to hold! Hold.

I am sorry, my dear friends….

Please move on. With your hatred to me. Or, with your ignorance to me. Or, with your disappointment to me. Or, with whatever you have or not have for me…. Place and time are yours, and mine is now and here. Let’s move on to our direction we’ve chosen with all our heart.

Let’s love our selves; because before loving the air, we should be able to love our breath…. Let me love my self now; that way I can show you truly how I do love you.

No matter how goddamn upset with me, please forgive me. Please go on leaving me. Please love your self. Please let me love my self…. Let’s breathe freely.

The light is at the end of the tunnel. You reach it at the end of yours and I do mine. That fair.

Thank you, dear friends…..

IMG_1941

 

Shangri-La Kuala Lumpur – June 20, 2014 – 11:22pm

 

Picture borrowed form http://fit.webmd.com/teen/mood/rmq/rm-quiz-toxic-friends

Friendly Taiwan

Finally I got the visa for Taiwan just one half day before I flew to the country. It was a business trip and at the same time to meet the warm people in which I am working.

Taiwan in my first visit last year has given me a very good impression. I was invited to a dinner with a friend. They welcomed me so nicely, respected me like an long lost friend. In the small restaurant almost all guests were looking at me because of my different apparel (I’m a muslim woman and wear headdress.) and they smiled at me after my friend explained “muslim, muslim…”.

And, since then Taiwan has been one of my favorite countries among them visited.

In my recent visit my friend invited all of me and other colleagues to a local restaurant to enjoy Taiwan local cuisine. A lot of food, big smiles, sincerity gliding in the air…. Thank you, Joanne….

Let’s note that when we come to a place, it is not the luxury that impresses you first. It is always how the human beings are treating us. Let’s be warm heart and welcome fellow creatures on earth. Once we share a good space for others, they would love to take us to their heart….

If I have time, I’d like to visit this country not for work, to take my dear family here to enjoy the warmth of the people’s heart in the small country.

taipei101

YCK Road – June 16, 2014 – 12:06am

 

Picture borrowed from http://elderbrucewhite.blogspot.sg/2011_05_01_archive.html

Challenges from A Friend

I have a new friend that has given me a lot of inputs about what I should do in my spiritual journey. She supports me with her reading the clues around me and finds solutions for not a few of my problems and several times provides me with challenges.

Once she told me to thank myself for having been supporting me all this ups and downs. She told me to love myself more than I do others – I’d been so exhausted, she said which is true. She also taught me a therapy to face myself – mirror therapy.

Image

http://agenesiscorpuscallosum.blogspot.sg/2009/05/reflections.html

In mirror therapy, I should look at my reflection on the mirror and talk to her. Oh my… It is just like I am having split personality. Yeah…. I was talking like crazy: I expressed my bad emotions at the beginning. Anger, disappointment, shame, fright,   humiliation, lonely, all those kinds of negativities bounced at me. By times, I got better – I said “I love you” to my reflection. Isn’t it to my self? Oh yeah… Yes, it works wonder.

Last night we chatted in whatsapp. This time she brought me one more therapy. It is calligraphy.

I was a bit stunned. It reminded me to a lot of forgotten hobbies. Talking to my self, standing in front of the mirror, saying thank you without reasons. And now calligraphy.

Image

http://www.studioarts.net/calligraphy/c2.htm

She said I need it to stabilize my inner power. My energy is balancing and my body should support it by harmonizing the inner waves. The idea of practicing calligraphy helps us pay attention on stable physical results by controlling emotion inside. I notice my handwriting becomes worst and worst, kinda scribbling rather than writing. Yes, it is time to go back to nature.

Once in elementary school I experimented using my own “font” when writing the a, b, c, d, e up to z in a test to match words and their meanings. And, my grade ended up at 70 while actually I got all correct. It failed in peer correction – my friends did not understand my font.

In junior high, I tried to join calligraphy class where we were taught how to handwrite words taken from Holy Koran. I got good grades. Oh my, I didn’t even know the meaning…. So interesting!

In senior high, we competed to have beautiful yet readable handwriting. And I was one of the best. Oh yeah!

In college I was even crazier…. I memorized by writing all the words…. Beautifully….

Yes, yes…. I am showing off….

Ha ha ha…. What I was trying to underline is calligraphy has been part of mine. I just forgot it some time. My friend came and offered me a new challenge and I love it not because I love the challenge itself but because it brings me to my own self.

Oh, I love this. Really. I am walking into my inner self and I am really happy. Like going back home….

Thank you, Tristi.

Singapore – October 21, 2013 – 21:51