All cuts and bruises Paint a life of a blossom Before it decays.
—
i was so young and innocent, a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i was so much blessed 💝
life has brought me travel through labyrinth of life with traps and turns that cut and torture yet i am still a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i am still so much blessed with cuts and bruises 💝 i’ve lost much but i find myself
no one shall erase this happy girl within — a blessed soul that travels through space and time 🙏🏼 thank you
There is great mountain Not deserved to climb How much ever best view will be up there. There is good hill Deserved to walk up How much ever others give up its ordinary view.
She decided to walk up the hill And found some big trees With singing birds and hopping squirrels Enjoying the breeze. There is enough space to have a picnic Until the sun sets beautifully.
—-
there is elevator in Osaka Castle so i should not skip climbing the castle as in Himeji Castle (said my colleague); yet i still didn’t as the queue was too long — walking the garden then having a fine dining with a good friend was a much better choice 🌸
thanks for your Osaka vibe; proven that Osaka is much warmer than Tokyo 💝 see you again in June
Which glass, Beloved? The one that brings me to you Enjoying the home—
—
In a call with a best friend just now I complained about the madness Twitter has brought to me. She didn’t say sweet words because she knew I didn’t need them. She preached me instead. 🙃
BF: Hey! You quit Twitter earlier with a good reason. You are back for a good reason. I know you support freedom of speech but for dumbass Twitter is to express hatred and stupidity— to throw up and to shit. Twitter is where the smart brave excel because of their endurance, the smart timid like us should only observe or have fun to survive and the stupid idiot wander around like hungry hyenas collaborating behind the screen destroying humanity. If you can’t take it, quit for the second time. Blah blah blah
BF: Or, go back to Facebook where some friends scrutinise whatever we do and give us sugar-coated words while laughing behind us or even stabbing in the back. Or, be busier in Instagram where people show their lavish life that might be fake; and where people especially you happily stalked your crush ha ha ha. Blah blah blah….
I have to agree with her though. WordPress is a home, serene and comfortable to stay warm and sane. Twitter is a market, busy and crowded but is worth visiting regularly. Instagram is a photo studio that should be visited only once in a while.
Me: Ya, ya…. Blog sites are still a home for me. I need Twitter to read some news, it’s like going shopping.
BF: Let’s go shopping again. We don’t need to look smart to go shopping. Just a bit of curiosity and bargaining position. I saw Fau follows you.
Me: Ya. I found her in one G20 tweet. Escaping from Facebook. She really suits Twitter the most.
The room becomes bright With two smiles under dim light. Feel good with good sight.
—-
I met a good friend and he could not stop talking about how hard it has been for him to feel good behind his (nice) smile. He said that he is constantly in stress of silent competition at work or in loneliness far away from family. He said that people around him seem unhappy to see others happy.
Me: Normal! It happened to me when I was young. Getting older, it is easier to accept what is.
GF: You did compete? Unbelievable! You seem to have neither ambition to excel nor spirit to live. Low profile, high product yuck! Your motto sucks!
Me: I did lightly. You’re still young so just enjoy your competitiveness and being away from family. Make more friends and only one girlfriend. Some day you will be where I am now when nothing is worth chasing except cockroach to kill.
GF: So you feel good all the time?
Me: Most of the time only, not all the time lah… I am not a Barbie doll.
GF: Meaning you never have problem?
Me: Do I look like not having problem?
GF: I know you have problems and are sometimes upset about people.
Me: Ya, I do have problems. People confront me. I confront people. But I minimise blaming others. Most thing if not everything is about me making incorrect decisions. I am sometimes very very unhappy about others, too. I act boldly occasionally to show boundary.
GF: And you still can feel good when you are not happy?
feel good is contagious
Me: Yes, I have a lot of distractions ready: work, books, orchids, painting, people although mostly not them, biking, cooking. End the unhappy time fast.
GF: How?
Me: Distract yourself. Flip the coin to the other side. And remember feel good is contagious. At least you don’t look gloomy when you feel good.
GF: So how do you think I should feel good when my colleague stabs me in the back?
Me: Feel good that it is not you stabbing people in their back. Thank God for showing the real friends to you.
GF: Argh! I want to punch his face!
Me: Ouch! Will it make you feel good?
GF: Maybe, but makes me look not good, then makes me feel not good.
Me: Wow! You master it already!
GF: But don’t you realise some people will get offended even when we feel good and do things as we are? They think we are insensitive. They think we are ridiculing them.
Me: Why care? You only need your approval to do something that makes you feel good, with one condition: that you do it without intension of offending or hurting others.
GF: If they get offended?
Me: I…. Don’t…. Care….
GF: Okaaaaaay! Hey! How is the food?
Me: Not so good 😩 The worst tom yum on earth!
GF: Agree. So is it because you are not able to appreciate the food? And how do you minimise blaming others in this case?
Me: Of course I blame the chef! You think I am his mother? Let’s not be back to this restaurant again.
GF: 😂😂😂
Lessons learnt: stay away from chatty friends when hungry, be relaxed when talking to young men as they explode easily, find a good restaurant or cook your own tom yum, get older without grudge, avoid those disrespecting you, laugh joyfully
see you again, Bangkok! thank you for bringing me this funny friend and the APEC meeting 2022 😩 both make me feel like a good human being: acting wise to one and waking up early because of the other 😊
Not answered questions: Those to be pinned with meanings By them questioning—
—
Surabaya did sum up my medium-length end-of-year holiday of mine. Hosted by one best friend, this 32-hour visit meant much to me: a lot of chat and enough food.
With this best friend open discussion is a routine. Last night’s discussion while driving around the city was everything about money. We both treat money differently. She is a better financial planner, I am a learner.
We used to be curious about what money truly was. Money discussion had always been a hot topic before and last night we both finally agreed that money can be defined as anything according to the one managing it.
We know different types of friends and their behaviour towards money. There are friends who meticulously count money (stingy), friends who think money is a symbol of welfare (social status), friends who consider money is everything (arrogant), friends who consider money is treasure (stupid), friends who consider money is nothing (careless), friends who don’t believe that money is a thing (maybe almost dead), friends who have little money (poor), friends who constantly borrow money (lazy). Complete experience. 🙂
What is money to us? We both don’t have special place for money at the same time we have special space for money. It is a tool. It is the replaceable at times, the irreplaceable at others. It is what it is with given context. We both agree that a question of “what is money” doesn’t need an accurate answer; it just needs honest response. Answer is too rigid and feels like a reaction; response is more flexible and almost a wisdom. Example? If having money makes us think we are more respectable than others, that is an accurate answer. If having no money makes us think we are less than others, that is an accurate answer. If having money makes us more functional as human beings in some situation, that is an honest response. If having no money makes us less complaining and harder working, that is an honest response.
We both don’t expect to be in forever comfort by having so much money yet don’t want to live uncomfortably because of having not enough money. We simply want to have sufficient amount as what is needed in life.
This visit puts me back on track that “life is just like that” at the same time “life is worth fighting for and beautifully living” with good will and a small touch of power from money.
Before driving me to the airport, she commented on my eyes.
BF: Have you put eyeliner?
Me: No
BF: Told you to always put eyeliner. You have one?
Me: Ya
BF: What colour?
Me: Brown
BF: No, no. Try blue.
Me: (frown on my forehead). I don’t have blue one.
BF: Try this. (handing a blue eyeliner to me)
Me: (reluctantly putting blue eyeliner on both eyes)
BF: Look at that! Brighter eyes! Ok, take it. Wear blue eyeliner more.
Me: Ok, as long as not green that turns me to a green-eyed. How much is it?
BF: I am not selling it to you. A tiny token of friendship. Not everything should be paid with money. Thanks for the birthday gift, too.
Background, Beloved, Grass of meadow, Water of lake, Sand of desert, Breeze of mountain, Wave of ocean, Trees of forest, A spill of a secret.
Background, Beloved, Without which One can’t be Fully described.
A signature After yours truly—
—
Today’s call was with a not so close friend who found a Facebook account she suspected as mine after seeing the account commented in one of her friend’s Facebook post. Slightly not a welcomed call but a good one to learn to be sweetly sarcastic to a public enemy—
F: You should change the background photo. The current one if too plain.
Me: With what?
F: It should be a picture that describes you, the owner. You like flower, maybe you can put flowers? Or kitchen because you like cooking? Or books?
Me: This is not a personal Facebook account. Don’t own one; not needed. This one is for me to display gathering schedules and photos to family and friends.
F: An AirBnB wanna be?
Me: More or less but more a rendezvous place. Other ideas for the background photo?
F: Maybe Kraton Yogyakarta or its symbol. Or Merapi. Or Candi Boko. Anything associated to Yogyakarta well known tourist spots; your home can be one of a very interesting place for some people in that city, too. Eh, eh you can also put photos of Singapore landscapes as you’ve been living there; it is to show people that you live in both places.
Me: The home is a humble place, too petty to represent or to be represented by those grand things. I prefer screenshooting the map of the surrounding like now. You see the Jiwa Jawi Restaurant? That is my backyard.
F: Nice! But you should give some luxury touch so people will be interested to visit.
Me: Thank you. Hey! Your background photo is Eiffel Tower! You want to live in Paris?
F: No, just symbol of romance. that’s to show how romantic me and my spouse are.
Me: Maybe you should use Taj Mahal picture. I can give you mine. That’s more relevant.
F: Eiffel is more romantic to us. It represents modern romance.
Me: Oh, ok. (eyes rolled)
F: I like the name you give to your home. What’s the meaning? May we both visit and stay overnight?
Me: Thank you. The meaning is a door to those real or a door to those true. You may visit but I’m sorry not for staying overnight. I’ll invite you for lunch with other friends someday. Not so soon though. Wait until I have a decent kitchen and long dining table so no one touches each other’s elbows when eating
F: Would be glad to! May we both request special cookings?
Me: Ah! It is a friendly invitation not a paid lunch so I don’t accept request. The best will be served for sure.
F: Ah…. Unfortunately…. We’d like some western food if there is.
Me: Ah.,.. Mostly served are local foods from different islands in Indonesia or a few Asian ones. Never mind. I can invite you only for a house tour minus my bed room because you’re not gonna like it…. (smiled at the end of the line then excused myself immediately)
Boundary is important. We can be kind but not be fooled around.
Friendship, Beloved, The sun rising so early, Pushing stars away—
—
(Very early) morning conversation that left me sleepy but so energized after talking with someone whose genuineness could kept me listening to whatever this person said— My day is always good especially when started with a cheap talk with my best friends. Today is going to be super good one!
…
BF: Still writing?
Me: Everyday
BF: Poems and ranting?
Me: Ya, you don’t read mine?
BF: Not these two weeks. Busy! You still talk to yourself in your writing?
Me: Ya
BF: You think people like it?
Me: No
BF: Why do you do it then?
Me: I do what I love doing.
BF: Even if no one cares?
Me: Even if no one cares.
BF: Are you happy?
Me: Not always
BF: Are you happy writing?
Me: Mostly
BF: What happens when you are not happy writing?
Me: I have so much in head but I don’t want to make it so obvious or it is so hard to make it concise.
breakfast please…. 💝
BF: Do you know that people reading your cheap writings might think you are madly in love?
Me: I don’t care. But yes I’m madly in love.
BF: With whom?
Me: With many different things.
BF: Name some.
Me: Oh my…. Are you interrogating me?
BF: 😂😂😂 Yaaa! You didn’t know?
Me: I just realised it.
BF: That’s how you don’t care about what people are doing to you? Don’t be silly. Put some suspicion and negative thinking to some people, even to someone that you love.
Me: I will.
BF: You’re 50 several years to come and still have mental of a £€$@$£€L!
Me: What?!
BF: Do you know who is among your friends genuine or not?
Me: Yes.
BF: But you look like not knowing.
Me: Because I don’t care. It’s my business to make sure I’m me but I can’t ask others to do the same thing to me the way I do to them.
BF: What about me?
Me: You are genuine especially when you have problem.
BF: You mean?!
Me: Yes, only I can listen to you for 5 hours non stop ranting about your problems! The same problems unsolved for years! That’s how genuine we are with each other.
BF: &$@!?890:;((@:!!!!
God bless all my best friends. See you all soon! 💕
Laughter, Beloved Takes trust before exploding. Accepting what is—
—-
I had a conversation with one friend about acceptance and trust.
This friend is one of my favorite as she is the struggling among us but the one with the biggest acceptance and trust to the life process. She’s been in all tests of life that might have made her a tough lady. Or probably she was just born that way and so she can pass all tests.
She said that trust is very important, only trust to the processes of life can make her accept whatever is presented by life. It has turned her into this current posture and gesture – tough yet kind.
Talking to an honest yet witty friend is a privilege, listening to her funny stories is like unwrapping hidden wisdom. How would a human being be that tough yet kind? She reminds me of my mother and some people around me.
friends laugh at each other, but touch each other’s heart the most
Yet I never want to be like them as being like them means dealing with roughest surface of life. I’m sufficiently thankful being me.
Thank you so much for giving me good friends as present. I will love them without being them. ♥️
Hey! But sometimes my ears feel like exploding with the length of the call. For full jokes, call at weekends only please….. 😚
Today I had a lunch chat with a colleague. We discussed about this and that and of course how we both grow more grey hair, more fat and of course more wisdom.
happy to work with those having courage to tell when it’s right or wrong, with objectivity
I remember when I was 30’s I said to him I was so afraid of growing old alone. Now I’m growing old alone and I’m not afraid. Today I said to him that I’m afraid of dying alone and he lightly said “No one wants to die with you or with anyone else, girl! No one!”
I laughed and said “Damn! you’re right!”
And I made a good decision right during the convo that I won’t be afraid of being alone! Everything is gonna be alright!
But he said something before saying goodbye “And you’d better be a bit stingy to those not helping!”
“Damn! You’re right again!”
Life is fair but life is also not fair so we’d better know how to surf! Unfortunately, I don’t like surfing, I’m just gonna be biking!
slow down to both directions, live and die is like drawing an ♾
Life pace, Beloved Chosen wisdom, loved glory Of everyday life—
————————————————
I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.
One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.
When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.
Time to prepare.
Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.
May all beings be happy. 💝
next one week flower arrangementenjoy the momentextended appreciation to those in my heartsomeday flowers will be daily life for me, not weekly anymore
Ahead or behind? Life isn’t racing, but game Chasing each other— Enjoy! There’s no finish line. You rest whenever you want.
————————————————————
Isn’t it fun to enjoy life like enjoying a game which happy children do? We run. We laugh. We scream. We forget about sadness and anxiety. No one forces us to do it. We can slip in the circle whenever we want and take a break when getting tired.
Today’s chat was a bit serious, about how hard it is to be genuinely ourselves in the middle of many who try to find what’s not us. My good friend said that some people have experienced so much or so many lies that they can’t take honesty anymore. They can only accept lies. I agree with her in some way; I’ve met some of that type.
This type of people will always try to investigate who you are even after you disclose who you truly are. An auditor should do that because it is a profession, but a friend should not do that because friendship is based on trust.
I’m lucky to have trusted some of good friends in life and they have trusted me for the same reason. The reason is enjoying life as a game in true friendship, not in competition.
Dogma, Beloved, The least she can hold in life. She is full of quests.
————————————————————
What human beings should think of being sick is it is a tool materialised by Life to make them stop or at least slow down especially from analysing every single thing. Yet human beings often forget that blessing should not be always gift-wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons; it might be sometimes humbly bundled in a sack.
Blimey! Why do I have so many sacks? And poorly unable to untie them successfully 😎
May all beings be happy.
a pile of ugly sacks; filled with all the richness of nature
Friendship, Beloved A vast ocean and its waves Sweeping all debris—
———————————————————
A friend visited me at my lunch break. A short talk made the day.
About her retirement plan to hop from one city to another from one country to another with her husband, future visit to my home base, future visit to Ubud, her sons and the menace, my future plans, health and healthcare, vaccination, and everything….
Our longest talk after 2 years of not going someplace together! She brought our favourite kue from Bengawan Solo! 💝
Couldn’t believe it could happen only in one hour. We must have talked as fast as flash!
⚡️
Bengawan Solo jajanan pasar delivered by a friend today
So you need to move
To be happy? Yes. Move to
Your kind heart. Stay. Smile.
———————————————
I had a group call with some good friends and we asked one favourite friend how she could be always light and calm even when she didn’t have enough materially.
Just as a description about her (with her consent): This kind, humble, strong, cheerful, a bit crazy lady is a widow with two children (both finished their education and are now working to support themselves). Her husband left her without anything for another woman. She works a lot of temporary jobs to survive. She lives in a very small rented house until now. She earns less than USD500 per month. She supports her brother who is physically impaired. Yet she is the one that we run to for advices, wisdom, consolation and she never complains to us, her friends.
She said “Maybe I was born to be happy, happier than all of you hahaha…. Let me put it this way. I’m light because my life is simple. I know I don’t have that much others have and that’s why my happiness measure isn’t the same with theirs. I don’t even think of what you think of to spend a holiday. I know you get upset when your food isn’t good; I think good food is about something edible, clean and filling, not about palate.
And I’m calm because I believe people appreciate me the way I am. Some people think too much about how they look and start behaving pretentiously. I’m not. This is me, carefree, open, comfortable with myself. And I don’t want to hurt others. People might not like it; I just need to be nice and stay away.”
“Are we your friends, Mbak?” We teased her.
“Stupid question! Yes! Because you appreciate me not with money but simply with friendship although you girls can look very ugly when very busy; annoying when very stressed! You just need to go back to this!” She put her right palm on her left upper chest where heart is.
This type of friend makes us real. One who appreciates others not through what is materially defined and knows that one one’s self is appreciated genuinely.
I don’t have to move to Finland or Denmark to be happy. Of course not with nothing. A good laugh and some chocolate (good chocolate I mean) should be the least. Honestly I still want to at least travel there! 🤪
May all beings be happy.
this is the video reminding me to our beloved friend – God bless the video maker/uploader! 💞
A cute conversation in a weekend happened when two besties missed each other. The convo went well until a topic came up.
Friend 1: What is worse than being rejected?
Friend 2: What is worse than being rejected?
Friend 1: Being ignored.
Friend 2: Are you teasing me? I’ve known it from the beginning.
Friend 1: Why did you let yourself be ignored then? You’re doomed. What a stupid move.
Friend 2: I didn’t prepare ignorance, I prepared rejection. But I learnt my lesson.
Friend 1: Lesson? What subject? (might be saying while smirking)
Friend 2: Distance-speed-time formula (whatever one wanted to say)
Friend 1: Hmm…. Seems that you already master it now.
Friend 2: Pretty much.
Friend 1: So?
Friend 2: So what?!
Friend 1: Oops. Sorry. You learnt your lesson, I know. Don’t trust that type of subject. Don’t be naive ever again !@#$%^&*()_+!
Friend 2: !@#$%^&*()_+!
Then both laughed together. That’s what friends are for – tasting each other’s bitterness, ridiculing each other’s foolishness and throwing worst wisdom to each other’s nose.
This song by Mariah Carey, Hero has been a good earplug for me. Been feeling so tired of my own self – being not confident with all what I called weaknesses. Until I found that points of weakness are where our strenghts stand out. Enjoy…. ❤
There’s a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don’t have to be afraid
Of what you are
There’s an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
It’s a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don’t let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You’ll find the way
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
rike jokanan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.