You fly with the cotton candy Around me in the sky. You dive with the schools of fish Next to me in the water. You grow with the root Beside me in the earth. You are everything around me.
You run with me when I walk. You swim with me when I play in the water. You soar with me when I fly. You are with me everytime.
You breathe with me. You throb with me. You vibe with me. You are everywhere with me.
Everyone might question me "How dare you!" Every one will do to me.
I Know you But don't know you.
Only time will tell If your signs are true Or false.
Only time will tell When we shake our hands And say hi.
Only time will tell If I know you Or know not.
maybe it is just me living in my dream, and you are the unreached reality
Sometimes she believes A branch to cut for whole tree. It's painful no more.
it was the only time i took picture of my needled arm before MRI, the person doing it was a trainee and she poked on my arm 7 times without getting the right point, she was panicked but aftaid of giving up until i whispered to her “i know you feel responsible to finish this task but i also have the right to feel comfortable, let your senior do it, i’ll request nicely”
sometimes someone has to give up for the sake of everyone else’s comfort— sounds awful but that’s how life works
This experience explains to me why I avoid preaching through concluded statements; it explains to me why I prefer sharing my experience while stating what lessons I’ve learnt through it and let my interlocutors deal with their own thoughts.
I saw a short YouTube video about “how to avoid anger” and said to myself “Ok! I can do it easily! A piece of cake!”
Dropped by the driver in KLCC, I headed to my favourite brand for corduroy pants and skirt. There won’t be time to get them in Singapore because of back to back trips until mid Dec. And the 10% discount as a tourist; what a lure.!
also these books from Kinokuniya 😍
Walking back to hotel prancing, I decided to continue some minor work (no workouts, enough with 4231 steps today and new books to scan before skimmed later) when a call from an unknown Malaysia number came in.
….
“Hello, Ma’am. Good evening. I’m Z the storekeeper in dadada…… I undercharged you by MYR360…. Where are you now?….. Can you come back to our store?….. But I need to close tonight….. Please help me….. I will send the payment link to your email. What is your email?….”
Long story short, I paid. Fact: she is younger than me, she spoke as if I made the mistake, she told me to come back to KLCC, not negotiable for me to come back tomorrow….
Lady, you undercharged me not because I intended to underpay you. Your mistake and yours only. Her tones in the call ruined my good impression about the pretty ex flight attendant.
I was about to rant to her with professional comments when I remembered the video I watched. Damn!
🤭
this person’s message: tips to avoid anger: think before talking: count to 10 before talking (due to bad mood) to younger, count to 30 to those at the same age, 50 to those older, count continuously to wife without talking, no need to count just talking to the husband
😂
i counted to many even though she is younger and it was her mistake
bloody hell! it is definitely not easy to not be angry to someone who annoys me
😝
This explains why delaying responses is important. This explains why I don’t really enjoy concluded statements outside work. This explains why I prefer telling stories and sharing my lessons learnt. This explains why I really want to shut up starting tomorrow except at work or to my nieces and nephews.
Love bond, Beloved By blood or vow is all gift Embraced and nurtured.
me with my aunt on Oct 27
i paid a homage to my father’s sister in law, my beloved aunt
we call her Budhe Didi, a 90-year-old Javanese woman who is now the oldest elder from my father’s family line; my mother is the other one (80 years old)
she was very happy seeing me and said “send my best regard to your mother, please bring her here to me, i miss her so much, please finish your home soon so i can meet her in your house warming…. bla bla bla”
i could only say “please bless me”
she also reminded me to keep the bond among cousins, nieces and nephews even when all elders (someday) rest in peace
aja sampek kepaten obor (never lose our family bond); it is not an easy job in modern era but i think it is the right way
The Master, Beloved Shows me how beauty is made And destroyed. That's life.
Ibu Tien is a senior batik artisan who has been my main source of my Yogyakartan classical batik collection. As a Javanese I never want to even sit at the same level with a master; I will sit at least one level lower from them at least when being in a frame. 💕 She is about 15 years older than me. Other then her Mbak Izzah, Ibu Tien’s daughter in law is another master of Yogyakartan classical batik
Mbak Izzah preparing my package; this stack was not one-time haul, many of them are those started 2 years ago — yes, one sheet of batik can be processed up to two years, mine was because some colouring process was done in another city (Solo) and some batik makers had to pause the batik process to go to rice field (taking care and harvesting rice)
Wukir Sari, Imogiri, Oct 25, 2024
Mbak Fitri is a master of “batik nitik” who becomes my main facilitator for “batik nitik” collection. She is the one introducing me to the senior batik artisans who dedicate themselves to this tradition. I sat down on the floor and made her sit at the chair although she strongly refused; my respect to this master although younger than me. 💕
I went out for dinner at the last night stay in Hanoi with some old friends (all auditors I met before I joined this company) and our conversation like always went astray, this time to Q&A about why some of us are singles after 40.
Among 11 of us going, 4 are singles and only I am open to marriage, the other 3 just want to have temporary partnership or commitment without marriage. And so I became the center of discussion; curiosity at its highest season. 😁
Friend (F): At your age, you still want marriage?!!!
Me (M): Yes. That’s the only committed romance I want when a man approaches me. I don’t need a long dating before marriage either.
F: But you’re a romantic type who will need sparks to bloom first before marriage.
M: I will not let a man approach me if I don’t have a spark. Or, if I sense he is just playing around, I will buy strong eraser to erase my sparks immediately. I don’t want to be broken hearted again. The rule is no sh*t, no one between us.
F: So rigid! Put some fun!
M: Marriage is a commitment so I need to make it true and real from the start with some fun. The full fun can wait and it is forever. Am I right, hey married friends? (Most of them agreed; a few of them complained about the boredom of being with only one partner.)
a heavily-romantic song from Sal Priadi that might depict a definition of romance to me 😁
F: I wonder what kind of man you are attracted to.
M: No particular.
F: Must be Muslim?
M: No. I stopped talking about religion since forever. A man with religion is not a guarantee, based on my long observation.
F: Handsome?
M: As long as someone is a man, I can call him handsome.
F: Rich?
M: Not necessarily but I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have enough resource to take care of his family. I don’t want someone from a family that has tendency to overestimate its own and underestimate others. Socioeconomic charisma in society is never my criteria. My criteria is simply stable protection; I don’t look for high profile family.
F: So, what type do you want? Seems humble but you are actually picky!
M: Why are you irritated by my preference?
F: I mean you are 49, don’t you think you need to simplify your criteria?
M: I have done it and I only have 5 main criteria.
F: Name them, lady.
It was funny that I felt life became so roomy when I was able to tell who I am to other human beings without forcing.
M: 1. Sexually straight — I respect LGBTQ++ but I don’t want to be in a romance with them. 2. Not abusive verbally, paychologically and especially physically — abuse is never good, 3. Loyal to me then his and my families — 4. Independent including in making decision for himself and later him and me, 4. Responsibly hardworking.
F: Why hardworking? Smart working no?
M: I don’t know what smart working is, maybe it is just another tyoe of hard working. I saw my father, a hardworking man who took care of his family to the best he could. He might not have been able to make us super rich family but he never gave up. He was a responsible man by being hardworking. We are respected because my father had dignity in his life. No lazy man is welcomed.
F: I am lazy at the weekends, Rike.
M: And you are seriously married. A good combination to a no.
There were other questions but not shareable here. Too private and personal 😎
F: Do you feel lonely?
M: I am not except in a long biz trip like this. Hotel room never feels home after one week for me. When I am home, I never ever feel lonely; I love staying home with or without company.
F: I pray for you.
M: For what?
F: To marry your true love.
M: Thank you! (Funny to accept the prayer from the atheists; so officially that day I started believing that all human beings believe in a power beyond life, some just don’t find the right concept they can accept.)
We enjoyed the chicken claws that tasted much more delicious that evening because of our conversation. Laughter and beer (for me no beer) made the short rendezvous worth goldbars. Then we travelers walked back to our hotels and residents drove back home.
I love my friends! They don’t judge my choice how much ever different it could be.
Be happy, dear friends. See you in our next rendezvous!
to my true love, i am saying hi to you before you arrive,
but if you don’t, do believe that i’m ok with or without you
I am flowing I flow I will flow And won't stop flowing until I'm united with You, the sea. I'm not afraid. I'm not too brave, either. I am just a flow flowing.
as long as i flow, i won’t worry; even if i’m alone as long as i keep flowing to
When I feel helpless, I will recite Your loveliest verses And send them as gifts To those closest to my heart, whose life Is a dedication to parents with Love equivalent as what they received at childhood.
I am here, now And lucky So I shall share love How subtle it has been.
Dear, Beloved. Please accept my hollow heart for You to fill with love, And love only How hard it has been.
What will the sun do? Bring fresh life Then maybe Erase the life dry. Is it nature of a destroyer?
No, Beloved. It is a nature of paradox: Sun refreshes, sun dulls. Love rekindles, love terminates.
i saw this water lily blooming happily under the sun then the following week was swept by the scorching sun that gulped all water in its environment; i thought the sun destroyed the flower but actually pushing the cycle to proceed — paradoxical life
There's something living forever Young and energetic Within, Resisting to mature up, Insisting to cheer up, Refusing to touch up, Singing down the path With one old song About a flowing river To the sea Peacefully unstoppable. My innocent evergreen--
tompi jazzy
calm jazzy
the classic
reminding me of high school when i was so crazy about singing keroncong 😁
my placenta was let flow on a clay jar accompanied by flowers and other Javanese ceremonial items to Bengawan Solo; just its name this river shakes my heart, reminding me to keep flowing
It' slow and steady, Snails throw a party with me. Everyone's happy.
look at how they party: slow and steady, they didn’t stop climbing up the plant but i didn’t see theirmovement but suddenly one was already up on one leaf — fascinating nature
Flow, Beloved To where love brings You. There was a steep rock, You fell again. This time it might take longer To flow calm. Believe there won't be time dilation And journey will be just fine.
nothing, it’s just a flowing riverenjoying her journey
Life she wishes is Simple and easy Only when earth spins new. And it does every moment She accepts each day. Yet it doesn't at a moment She looks away.
in which food is harmless and healthful
where compassion and kindness is strength, not weakness
when showing excitement is vulnerably acceptable
where dreaming is guided instead of discouraged
where balancing is an art well appreciated
in which different perspective is part of thinking
where nature is safely kept and befriended
where she can freely kiss the soul
where friendship is about sharing the light in the beautiful dark
where romance is a pair of old souls wrapped in young hearts walking in a genuine fun friendship
where living is here now, not later somewhere else
…. where awareness wakes up due to a light touch of the presence of a soft feather
This flower blooms In a hottest day, In a beautiful garden, In a cold hallway. It just blooms No matter what. Just bloom And come what may.
my driver dropped me in the wrong gate yesterday and just drove away; he drives very well but doesn’t understand English (yes, he is a driver not a tour guide 😁) yet it was a blessing in disguise: i walked a bit and met these flowers on the way — beauty greets me everywhere when my heart is light
red roses in the hotel courtyard, tantalising colour
What's death, Beloved? A gate to a new garden Where new game's waiting.
Just last week I made a plan to apply for a new MacBook as mine is 5 years old, 2 years longer than the replacement timeline. This MacBook worked wonder but with the heavy work I wanted to make her retire and use a new one.
Most of my friends know I treat some machines in my life as human beings: I give them names, talk to them, touch them like they are my babies. Although technically I don’t take care or them well: I don’t clean the Mac keyboard regularly, I don’t pump Blue and Red’s tyres regularly, I don’t always dust my luggages before putting them back to the dust bags, etc.
Today my MacBook that I planned to replace with a new one went on strike. It didn’t turn on the whole day. Her turning off really turned me off. I did all steps to turn her on with no result. The host IT guy gave up. Everyone tried all things possible with no result. We did even one silly thing: sunbathing the Mac next to the window, nothing happened.
When time comes with death, no one can prolong any life.
Maybe a coincidence, today one of my cousins passed away. He was such a fun brother to all of us; a wise man who lived his life to the fullest. His nuclear family is lucky to have them, we extended family are, too. Happy journey, Mas❣️ You are blessed so no need to worry. See you again.
This pool is too calm A dust can cause a big wave. Chaotic minutes--
sometimes i behave too strongly at work and don’t want to bring the strength to my personal life
unlike in professional life, in personal life i don’t use complex strategies for my plan and goal, i just do things with kindness with a bit of control to protect myself from being cheated
life might be called chains of transaction but in personal life my trade is trade of kindness, i lend and give with kindness without expecting to be repaid — or else, i will not lend or give; i was cheated a lot but i learnt my lesson yet still the only strategy (if i am forced to admit that i am having strategy) is avoidance strategy — again in personal life
consequently i will feel scared or overwhelmed with someone (that i deal in personal life) showing or demonstrating emotion that i usually apply when negotiating at work: cold, no empathy, poker face, intimidating, arrogant, winning all games and the like
this early morning i experienced one and it affected my whole day — i felt like i wanted to curl; the only thing making me survive the day was that i was working and i needed to keep myself professionally composed
what a heavy day personally today, thanks God my colleagues and business counterparts didn’t pay much attention to my expression except one person asking “today you must be tired walking almost 4 hours, you look pale”
there must be a lesson i need to learn in my personal life
What size of life do I want? Any size as long as It is ordinary: Where big is not too big, Small is not too small, It is just right.
I want an ordinary life Where my closest know well enough My love and kindness guards Me against betrayal.
I want an ordinary life Where the farthest know well enough Their hatred and ignorance keeps Them away from me.
I thank you, my ordinary life You make blessings extraordinary.
today’s breakfast: a big bowl of konjac noodle soup with chicken breast + carrot + bonito flake, a medium bowl of fruit and a small bowl of rendang — all in the right size….
…. and chocolate, the ordinary that turns my life extraordinary
Are you the star I point with my finger? Or are you the one that disappears in a blink of my eye? Are you the star that will reappear tomorrow night? Or are you the one that smiles at me then ghosts away?
rike jokanan 
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