You are a flower
Ready for fruition. Give
The best of all crop.
I support animal lovers and rescuers by praying for them or when I’m able I’d like to donate or accompany them to take care of those animals. But honestly I mostly support them from a distance…. The lowest level of caring but the best I can.
About two weeks ago a friend of mine texted me to pray for Blacky, a little cutie pie that was suffering from vomitting after every meal of his. Blacky, a black-with-white-spots kitten was waiting for exchanging blessings with me.
Blacky was transported by his mommy named Amie by bus for about 3 hours. What a lovely journey for Blacky and Amie the mommy….! To get him cured. Vet said that Blacky suffered from kidney disfunction. Or, at least that was the result after some examination by the vet plus X-Ray.
Mommy had to go home to Tangerang, Banten because she had to work. But Blacky ought to stay — he was exhausted and needed some rest because of Tangerang – Jakarta trip and his sickness. Then it was decided to put Blacky in an animal clinic in Kemang.
Blacky was not getting better. He kept vomitting and decided to leave, he was departing to the land across beautiful ocean. On his last day he ate a little and got positive energy support from another friend of mine. But Blacky really wanted to leave. He was happy and still is now.
Blacky felt the love of mommy Amie and thanked the Universe for sending her to take care of him in his very short life span. He was serving himself as a cat and it was his best serviceat that time. He would love to serve a better role in his next span of life and the Universe already grants his wish.
He will be borne as a boy or a girl who gets so much love…. Namaste….
He will be borne as a boy or a girl who is raised by loving and caring parents…. Namaste.
He is blessed and giving blessings.
Thank you Blacky for being present in my life although we never met face to face…. I feel the love of yours and mommy Amie’s love.
Please be safe in your trip to your better future. Til we meet again….
Jalan Putri Hijau, Medan – October 2, 2015 – 12:23am
I’ve been collecting things in my life — not so much thinking about their functionalities, just as hobbies. It’s like never ending craving for new types of the collected items. Fun, fun, fun!
When I was elementary schooler, I collected stamps – at least five albums & some un-albumed packs of foreign stamps before finally I gave up. Where are those albums now? No idea where they are, probably my cousins took care of them. I was fond of nail polish, bead necklaces and hair bands…. Yeah, so glad remembering that — I was feminine, yes I was….
Another I remember is pencil collection, it was when I was 15. Any types of pencil were nested in a big fancied cartons and cans – 200+++ until finally I gave up…. Where did they end their “life”? Cant remember, I thought I gave them away to anybody wanted to take them.
Longer list…. Turtle & tortoises figurines, batik sheets, overseas coins, natural stones, gemstones, crystals, orchids, refrigerator magnetics, socks, silver and other metals…. And, many more collecting thingy.
What are those all things for? Just to feed desire of having this and that, wanting this and that, the word need was forgotten and/or ignored. Did I need the used stamps? Economic value was never a concern; I’ve never considered myself a sales-person type. Did my two hands operated hundreds of pencils? Who takes care of those collections — I leave them in my house in Indonesia…. So sad. Just these very recent months I decided to stop collecting. My attention and action shall be more meaningful to more people rather than just making me contented or proud of having bunch of things.
Supporting animal rescuers (cats and dogs), and communities helping underprivileged people (health and education) are the best choices now. Not because of having so much money to donate, but it is more about how to allocate the capitals wisely. No rates of return expected except that I want to be less guilty of enjoying this blessing selfishly.
Thanks Universe, for waking me up, for opening my very eyes wide, for presenting the needy before me…. Now, the challenge is to work constantly hard and smart to be able to share more without feeling “being more”. My time to breeze…..!
Sweet disclaimer: probably the consistent collection is books ‘coz reading is like eating, without it I’ll die… Hope reading will be everlasting hobby of mine. Reading with eyes, reading with mind, reading with soul.
Picture borrowed from http://liquid-state.com/2014/04/25/people-buy-books-love-books-isnt-obvious/
Singapore – October 19, 2014 – 9:36pm
I saw a gracefully-moving goose, swimming…. Not swimming, she was paddling her feet below the water to show me that life is beautiful but with circulating movement of inner power. How do human being look so calm but struggling to reach the other end of their journey which is at the same point is the start of another trip….
Picture borrowed from http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/swan-goose-anser-cygnoides/swan-goose
I saw then played with a bear. The eyes are soft so intriguingly contradictory with his sharp claws and teeth. Oye, Mr. Bear…. Please hug me in your huge warm body to feel that your heart is distributing love to your real existence through your eyes…. Your claws are the only tools to survive from others’ attack. Your strength is ultimately powerful to pump your core of love to my life, your strong boundary shares my selfishness of being a spiritual being – I will never want others to dictate my spiritual journey. You take the honey from my hands softly because you know that I only have heart full of love for you. I have nothing but love…..
Picture borrowed from https://addons.opera.com/en/themes/details/sweet-bear/
For me this life is a group of circling boundaries set by Mr. Bear; boundaries full with claws that have been defeated by his loving eyes…. Take the claws and del the love.
And, I saw a kitten…. Kitten, my baby….. Thank you for staying with me for quite sometime. You accompanied me when I was sobbing and curling near the lake. You sat next to me doing nothing except staring at me with full of questions:
“Why are you crying?
Don’t you know I am your angel?
Don’t you realize that you are my guardian angel?
What do you know about us?
How do you produce your tears? Are they from the bottom of your soul? Would you please teach me how to cry sincerely?
Soul, don’t you know you are beautiful and deserve to enjoy this blessed life? Soul, do you know that I will always be with you?
How would you stop crying of missing the real one, while I am here with you? Would you please hug me and whisper to my ears that I am your loved one?”
The kitten, he is now a sacred soul with me in this very world…. Thanks for being with me when I was weeping by the lake. Thanks for whispering to my spirit that you love me truly. My dear kitten, you are opening your Life and my Eyes…. Live love, Love…..
They sat with me by the lake where I saw the reflection of my spirit….
My dear Bob, now he is living in a real heaven with full of love all his life….
Singapore – July 7, 2014 – 10:57pm
Everybody makes mistakes…..
Can I deny that I do? The only thing I can do is to be able to forgive myself for all mistakes I have done in my life so far.
This is not easy to forgive others and even much more difficult to forgive my own self who have committed mistakes – many – of which part are planned. I don’t want to talk about the planned mistakes. Let’s just talk about mistake that is just mistake…..
My father passed away just one day before I got home. I planned to see him after so long I left my house for work in Jakarta. I was in a hard time adapting the cruel capital city that was blessing me with my first job after graduating from university. I was a secretary in a small company by then. My boss was a very pious person that treated all employees very well but then his company was not big enough to make me enough-paid to buy ticket to pay homage to my parents. So…. I had to save money for almost one year and of course to take a “decent” leave. I call it “decent” because I was needed badly to support other departments so that I did not dare to file for a leave at any chosen time.
That is my biggest mistake, it was almost unforgivable. I cease blaming on my self after so many years….. I cried when I remembered how painful it was to be poor and not able to pay a visit to beloved father who was sick and dying….. And, probably he was missing me so much. Please forgive me, oh my own self….
Then it happened again just this year.
Bob, my cat son was sick. I should have been able to pay him a visit. The ticket was affordable for me. It was just because the time did not allow. It took a long hour from Singapore to my mom’s house. From Changi airport I have to fly to Surabaya which is no problem at all, but from Surabaya to my mom’s house it would take 5 hours and so I have to spare at least 24 hours for the travel. I did not have that much time at that time…..
So, I let him die without me around…. This is almost unforgivable, too. I was sinking below all roots, could not see the beautiful flowers of my life in which those beloved ones nurtured before…..
I reconcile with my self.
What should I do? All is over.
My beloved father and son passed away when I was away. That might be what they wanted. They did not want me to see them die. They wanted me to just see how happy their life was when I was around.
They have always wanted me to commemorate their good days. They have always wanted me to celebrate our togetherness in a positive way. Like they have been saying to me “Be happy, Rike. We are always happy with you…. Celebrate our life with your good memories. Don’t cry for us. Smile for us. We will meet again in the next life.”
So then I tell myself softly that I should forgive my own self because my father and my son have forgiven me. They will never hate me just because I never touched their bodies before they were buried. Their souls have been surrounding me from then on, so they are never away because of being separated by the container called physical body.
Oye, Self….. Please cherish the love. Never forget that the soul can be communicated with even when the bodies are cremated or buried or decayed in unknown places….. Ask the souls to talk to you, listen to your explanation and apology, sincere apology.
It is never too late to realise.
Soul is always here. In the same matrix and ready to mediate.
So, please use the time while you are awake. Tell them how much you love them, how strong we are all connected and how big the sorrow will be if the forgiveness is not shared…..
Quezon City – March 4, 2014 – 9:37pm
PUISI BINGUNG WAKTUKU
Jam di tangan berdetak-detik
Jika tak juga pergi maka dia kan mati
Jam di dinding berdentang-denting
Bertanya kapan ku berangkat
Jika berlambat-lambat, dia mau minggat
Jam di awang-awang terbang santai
Melirikku dengan mesra
Tak apa, luangkan saja, tak akan lari gunung dikejar
Gunung merapi terbotak-batuk
Mengintaiku dari balik gantungan mendung
Berdehem, sekelebat kurasa dia bergeser beberapa senti entah ke kiri atau kanan
Kadang sangat lambat atau terlalu cepat
Mau tak beringsut?
Gunung tak berlari tapi dia ngesot pelan
Pertanda ada pergerakan
Entah kemana dia mau bergerak
Alam ini tak boleh berhenti
Begitu juga aku
Jam-jam terakhir di GQH Jogja – 2:55 siang – selesai packing sebelum berangkat