Nowhere (good memory)

Nowhere, Beloved,
To depart. Wait for next train.
Look around and pray.

Checking my old photos, I saw an almost forgotten one. A station that was giving me the most alarming experience in that trip.

Back in April 2017 I was in a solo travel for 20 days in EU region when the train from Lyon left me no choice but changing train in Bourg-en-Bresse. It was rainy and windy, almost 5pm local time, some passengers got off with me but all of them went out of the station (perhaps to go home) and only I stayed to wait for the next train at 7:15pm.

For almost 45 minutes and no one was coming. A group of young men entered the other side of the railway. They sounded chatting and giggling. I tried to avoid looking at them. It was my first time feeling insecure in the trip.

I continued reading my book (now pretending) as I felt so uneasy with the noise across the lines.

“Hi! Lady!” I looked around. No woman but me. Damn! They called me.

I didn’t say anything, my eyes looked back to my book.

“Hi! Hi!” Don’t say anything, Rike. Don’t look at them. My left hand slowly moved down to my Swiss knife in the inner pocket of the jacket.

Only prayer in heart and some strategies that were taught by my brothers on how to use the Swiss knife and simple kicks to defend myself from bad guys.

“Lady!” They shouted at me more loudly after some time.

“Lady!” The guys laughed out loud among their French words. I saw them waved their hands to me. They whistled at me. I wondered why no one was here but those guys. In my country there are always many people selling things around railway station. There are always tricycle riders moving around.

When those guys got even merrier and happier, I saw a shadow moved the tall doors behind the guys.

A tall black lady drew a trunk and went across line 1 to line 2 and to line 3 where I was almost ready to hurt any of the guys if they approached me.

The guys stopped their noise. The lady walked towards me.

I didn’t feel better. This lady could stop the guys’ laughters and whistles, she must have been able to do stronger thing than that including killing me— I had to be alert!

“Hi! Going to Geneva?” A soft voice greeted me.

“Hi! Ya! Are you?”

“Yes! The train will arrive soon.”

“Thanks God!”

“No, it is just the schedule.”

😁

We eventually were sitting in the same cart. She was working in the UN headquarters and traveled back from personal leave. She said I was lucky to take this train, not later one that might have made me encounter with more men in the station unluckily often drunk.

“Thanks God!“

“No, you just need to choose the right timing.”

😁

I almost forgot that I met this smart wise tough lady. Wherever you are, Madam, I wish you good luck! Thank you for saving me with your timeliness.

Salaam.

Bourg-en-Bresse station

Ode to A Secret Love


Oh….
How
I
Miss
You
So


Yet dimensions have distanced us with invisible connection.


Oh….
How
I
Miss
You
So


Only wish and pray I can send through speechless wireless across the elements.


Oh….
How
I
Miss
You
So


Dream, dream, dream, dear love.
Life is but a dream.
I hope we visit each other
In each of our good dreams,
Before we wake up and together we stream.


Oh….
How
I
Miss
You
So


It doesn’t matter and it doesn’t count
Even how I miss you most; like a tiny penny in a billionaire’s account:
Missed and forgotten through space and time.

Oh….
How
I
Miss
You
So


It rains again which I love the most
As the longing for you gets swept away
By the water falling and gliding on the window: sweetly cold.

Oh….
How
I
Miss
You
So
….

Yet this stubborn heart
Still sings in silence
Alone with clear sweet voice
Without doubt
That someday this feeling will fade away,
Leaving a good memory through time and space.

Listen, this is an ode
To a secret love:

Oh….
How
I
Miss
You
So

daydreaming in a rainy day – RC Gorman’s “Woman with Poppies”

Dirgahayu, Indonesiaku ke-77

Duhai, Indonesia. Serupa apapun engkau, kau adalah tempat lahirku. Walaupun saran dan nasehat bertaburan untuk menjadi pemegang status PR di rumah keduaku ini, aku tak goyah. Nggak papa…. PR atau bukan PR passport-ku tetap Indonesia. Hanya cinta dan hidup-mati saja yang boleh membuatku jadi PR atau pindah kewarganegaraan. Selain itu, no way!

Indonesiaku, terima-kasih telah menjadi tempat lahirku dan tempatku belajar hal-hal pokok untuk menjadi manusia utama. Kalau aku dilahirkan dan dibesarkan di negara lain, mungkin aku jadi orang yang bermewah-mewah dan tidak down to earth.

Indonesiaku, kemanapun aku pergi, kamulah darah yang mengalir di tubuh ini. Dimanapun aku tinggal, engkau tetap menjadi tujuan pertama pulang atau liburanku (ya setahun satu atau dua kali deh). Dengan siapapun aku bergaul, kamu tetap warna primerku.

Kecintaanku padamu bukan pada para pejabat buruk yang mengurusi ketatanegaraan. Kecintaanku tulus pada tanah, air, udara, rakyat dan makhluk di sekitarnnya.

Merdeka!

what a coincidence! this number is really escorting me this year
💝
didn’t attend this year’s flag-raising ceremony in the embassy because of this cute virus 💝 next year I will, bismillah!

Clay Jar

Broken clay jar, Love,
A love letter torn apart.
Message of a heart—

How broken you are, I will always love and respect you as a clay jar that records history and memory, in the hands of an ignorant they become waste and rubbish, in the hands of wise lessons and wisdom.

I’ll take your broken clay jar to kintsugi craftsmen in near future trip just in case they can also repair broken clay jar. 🤭

Otherwise, I’ll keep it in my mini cabinet of curiosity to be a reminder that a heart is so fragile or so broken and so worth handling with care.

Salam…. 🙏🏼

RC Gorman’s

Journey

Journey, Beloved,
Counting every blessed milestone;
Deletion of doubts—

My personal definition of Australia: where beer is consumed more than water. It might be wrong to others but that was what I saw with these very eyes with no doubt. 😎

hello, Sydney. when will I see you again?

No Losing!

I will win
In any battle.
My flag is rising
As high as the farthest star
Reaching you
Bravely!

In me is a girl who dares!
I’m brave!

Don’t try me!

I am….

Brave!

I won’t give up! You sell, I buy! ALL!

Kamboja

A gift, Beloved,
Pink star full of granted wish
What would you say, Self?
Thank you for this pretty gift.
She’ll spread the fragrance and vibe.

bunga kamboja (plumeria in English), fell on my cap when swimming – a fragrant gift

Life

This life, Beloved:
Mysteriously composed,
Beautifully done—

This sight is defeated just by a sheet of paper. I can’t see what You can. I’m surrendering this self to…

You. 💝

Salam…

RC Gorman’s Reunion

Likes & Comments (ranting)

One, two, three, four, five,
….. 30%. You happy?
Please like and comment!

😛

Today’s conversation was quite hot. One insisted number of “like” is significant, the other one insisted the other way around. My best friend and I found that we get high number of likes in Instagram when uploading pictures of our latest look. Both of us can get “likes” around 20-25% of number of followers. She does pay attention to it, she even puts a hashtag of “likeforlike”; I don’t always check, not even bother myself to reply to comments except from those who are characteristically honest and accurate; liking comment is good enough. Sorry….

BF: Look! This picture of yours get high number of likes. So you should pose like this. You should wear these earrings. You should comb your hair to the other side.

BF: Hey! Look at my recent picture. People like when I wear this colour.

BF: You have beautiful eyes. Show them to the world!

BF: Why my hair looks like this?

BF: Don’t wear this dress again. Wear the one you bought with me!

Me: “eeekkk!”

Having a good friend who pays attention to my look is a blessing yet giving me goosebump. I feel so loved and reminded to always look perfect yet my thought of how she selects pictures or videos before uploading is rather overwhelming. 😛

BF: Change your profile picture! You look messy!

Me: I’m decent! Not necessarily gorgeous but….

BF: What? Clean, tidy and fragrant? People only use their eyes in Instagram. They don’t care whether you are truly clean and tidy or smell sweet or not! They don’t even care if you are truly happy or not!

Me: I love you so much but please unfollow me…. 😴

BF: &@“)(/#%¥£€><| 🤪😂

Note to myself: Why is this best friend accurate about many people?

best picture to upload! good for everyone’s sight 😍

Morning

Morning, Beloved,
Summariser of senses
Foundation of days—

What morning can bring to a warm heart is always a bunch of sweet surprise.

Thank you!

“anggrek merpati”, the fragrant orchids that last only one night greeting me in one bright morning 💝

Tulips

Tulips, Beloved,
In joy they sway by the wind.
Daffodils do, too.

Hi, tulips. Hi, daffodils. Miss you, miss you…. 😘😘😘

bed of tulips blooming in Keukenhof – wanna be back soon 😍

Aug 9

Anniversary,
Happy! Thank you, second home.
Row, row, row your boat.

Thank you for becoming my shelter and taking care of me.

Singapura’ National Day
a view of my nest
a view of today’s stairs toward workplace
a view of my track
a view from Japanese classroom
a view of home back there

Ears vs Eyes

These ears, Beloved,
Hear your voice. These eyes hide you
From the remembrance.

This hearing sense records memories more deeply than the sight and widely than the sense of smell.

met this friend that didn’t even produce any single click when slowly moving – would you please tell me a fairytale from your land?

Bi’rsweet

Bi’rsweet, Beloved,
The way perfect life tastes;
Subtle craftsmanship—

It takes high skill to blend tastes. It takes perfect acceptance to enjoy the concoction presented; otherwise, just go fasting. 🙂

Welcome new week.

perfect life in a cup of coffee – bitter sweet
perfect life in a plate of kunefeh – “gurih” sweet 😄

Feel Good

Say hi, Beloved,
To those making you feel good.
Life is abundant.

When very good plan and very bad weather collide, it takes just a breath to be back to feeling good mode.

Life is too abundant to consider a lost day a loss.

hi, colibri! (RC Gorman’s)

Orange

Orange, Beloved,
Mixture of red and yellow;
Calmly encouraged

Orange is the color of joy and creativity. Orange promotes a sense of general wellness and emotional energy that should be shared, such as compassion, passion, and warmth. Orange will help a person recover from disappointments, a wounded heart, or a blow to one’s pride. (excerpted from BournCreative)

Thanks for today.

💝

RC Gorman’s “Woman with Oranges”

Lemon

Lemon, Beloved,
Bitter nor sour. It’s love
And longevity.

Drinking lemon juice is one way to clean the toxic away from the body. A few drops of lemon in the water for a bath is also giving more freshness.

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade? hmm… make lemon-infused water, fresher and healthier 🥰 (RC Gorman’s Woman with Lemons)

Good Fruits

Good fruits, Beloved,
Fresh, crunchy and colourful
Carved on her sweet smiles.

It’s a blessed night: fresh for the rain.

RC Gorman’s Woman with Apples

Nocturne

Nocturne, Beloved,
Desert at velvety nights;
Her hair is waving,
Where pitch and rhythm dangle
Sprinkling tones of a warm heart

Night is a sweet shelter that never complains whether I snore or sing or cry or laugh or play or work or just sit on the window nook.

Serene….

RC Gorman’s Nocturne
💝