Little Bird

Little bird, dear love,
Telling her to soar then go home
To where her heart is—

Home. Is it a what, a who, a whom, a whose, a which, a when, a where or a how? She knows hers and it doesn’t always the same as others’. 💝

shared rice with a little bird in Cointrin Airport before boarding for Amsterdam then home – a trip worth doing she should repeat 🥰 …


Nuance, Beloved,
Painting one heart in two hues;
Comparing two times—

Some songs like poem will stay in my heart and won’t die. One of them is Dewa’s Kangen.

Never getting bored of listening to it— Weekend is the best music box! 💝

Once’s version sounds sexier 💝
Ari’s earlier version sounds sharper in heart. So young! 🥰
Ari and Andra make it raw and pure!
live show – Ari’s version is still the best! 🥰

With Love

With love, Beloved,
All is done and completed.
How would she not thank?

one of the doors of my humble abode should be adorned with climbing rose like this 💝
and one of the windows, so when the window is opened I breathe love from the pink roses 💗

Bluish Gold Dome

Sky blue, Beloved,
Drawn in peace and protection
Under the gold dome—

Today’s late afternoon sky showed much turquoise with the white looking like mosaics of peace and protection sacred words in the domes of blue mosques.

Thanks for the peace and protection.


RC Gorman’s work of art – Woman with Turquoise


The beast, Beloved,
The you not well tamed by grace—
Embrace it. Bless it.

I cleaned my Instagram postings from some rubbish posted earlier 😂 and decided to let 1,666 as the final number of postings. My friends said “You’ve got healthy thumbs! Why 666? That’s evil number!”

I don’t believe 666 is evil number or number of the beast. There is another alternative that is more neutral and entertaining:

666 has had a bad reputation because of its biblical meaning as “the number of the beast,” but it’s mostly unwarranted. The spiritual meaning of 666 is an encouragement to refocus. Seeing 666 tells you to pay closer attention to any fixation you currently have on earthly problems and details. An obsession with getting everything right and taking things too seriously is a distraction from the bigger picture.

An appearance of 666 reminds us that we humans can become too wrapped up in our “problems” and lose sight of what’s really important to us and in life in general. If 666 appears in your path, it is a divine nudge of redirection. You might be overfocusing on something trivial to the point that you’re losing sight of what’s really most important.

Take note of when and where you saw the angel number. This could lend insight into the area of your life that needs refocusing. If you keep seeing 666 while you’re stressed out about a certain friend, it could be a sign that you’re not remembering the bigger lesson of relationships is to learn and grow alongside someone—not to dwell on issues but to remember that even the issues are all part of the process.

Continuously seeing 666 is an alert to shift your focus in order to relieve some of the stress in your life. You’ve become wrapped up in worries that distract you from creative solutions. Take these sightings as an opportunity to slow down and assess where your mental and physical energy are being spent.

This angel number is a guidepost pointing toward recommitment to nurturing your foundation—your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It’s also a reminder to let go of the things you can’t control. Make a list of what you value and what you’re grateful for, and focus on that—releasing any need to control or fixate on the perfect outcome. Perfection doesn’t exist! Let yourself rest and regroup, knowing the universe is supporting you.

I’ll keep the 666 for some time as I need to let go of too huge a thing having wrapped me for some time. Everybody including me deserves respect but if not getting it from those much expected, it means it is not what I deserve to receive. I sincerely accept it. 💝

God bless me! 💕

liu liu liu

True Lies

You know, Beloved,
West, east, north, south are true lies.
Meet the truth in here.

Info and data are easy to harvest nowadays, wisely and smartly use them to find (the least inaccurate) truth (that is needed to make conscious decisions).


clown is funny: true or lie or true lie?

Love & Trust

What is love and trust?
Wind and water pushing boat
Sailing to a land—

Yes, love can come mysteriously like Capt Nemo’s Nautilus suddenly emerged from sea surface. She might love one that she doesn’t logically expect to love at all. Love is an active emotion. If she loves, she does. If she doesn’t love, she doesn’t. Accept and embrace it with its pain and foolishness.

Yet, trust can promote or demote one to or from a position like how Capt Nemo finally trusted Aronnax, Ned and Conseil as his main crew in the submarine. Trust is a living action. Test and investigate it with loyalty and integrity. If she trusts, she’ll promote the one to an inner circle. If she distrusts, she demotes one to outer layer.

Aaah! Love is always sweet in word— just that some people don’t have sufficient vocabulary to express and to understand. Trust is always inevitable in number — just that some people are accustomed to data manipulating to look good and so hiding the fact.

Still loving you though 💕 💕

May all beings be happy.

(from Pinterest)


Daruma city
You’ve witnessed left eyes were drawn.
Wish me the right ones.

A group of people in Takasaki wished me a happy birthday in an online meeting. A real surprise that made my day! I almost cried of happiness! 🥺

This evening one of them went back to Tokyo and she sent me messages with photos taken in Takasaki station. Another sweet surprise!

ありがとうございます, AWさん。また来年お会いしましょう!

Looking forward to a set of daruma dolls of different colours I ordered from Amazon (because of cancelled plan to buy them in its original city). Not a real surprise but hope the dolls give me a little shade of surprise! 🤩


daruma doll in Takasaki station sent with a message “Happy birthday, Rike. Come on draw my eyes!” 😂
“Enjoy!” another message with another photo 😂

Dream Home (lunch break)

Dream home, Beloved,
Sitting with all senses on,
Capturing moments—

Lunch break + very very heavy rain = early wish of birthday getaway to come true!

sitting here while writing a bunch of love letters to whomever I want – 2023
long chat in Ubud – 2024
tranquil nights in Angkor – 2025
ocean air breathing in Ninh Thuan – 2026
walking in the depth of souk – 2027

To be continued with more destinations in 2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2035, 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2044, 2045, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2050, 2051, 2052, 2053, 2054, 2055, 2056, 2057, 2058, 2059, 2060, 2061, 2062, 2063, 2064, 2065…. As if I knew how long I will wander around here? I hope to live as long as time is mentally and physically enjoyable with family and friends without bothering them.

Long life, fresh and sane!

Then came the calculation part…. A lot of coins to spend to comfortably celebrate that way in those particular places. Easy! Just need a clover pendant to make it happen. 😝

4-leaf good luck charm immediately wanted!!! to make dreams come true 🍀

Thanks for the rain and daydream. I know there is more than meets the eye! Life is so rich and I accept all the gifts.

Clay But Not A Kendi

Clay art, Beloved,
Hugged by earth, hardened by sun
Livened by heaven—

In Java island clay was commonly used not only to make art work but also as material to make kitchenware, eating utensils, plant pots, etc. Kasongan, Yogyakarta is one of famous villages of clay work industry in which different types of clay art and utensils are mass produced or customised as per buyers’ request.

One clay utensil that I often used in my childhood was kendi, a clay jug used to contain drinking water – it makes drinking water smell subtly earthy and feels cooly fresh. Children would dispense water from the jug to glass to drink; adult would usually just lift the kendi slightly above mouth level and dispense the water directly to their open mouth without touching the tip of the kendi mouth to their mouth — whoa so difficult to explain!

Kendi is not however commonly used as the function is now replaced by plastic containers and refrigerator. It is now mostly used in Javanese traditional ceremony or in some households that still want to keep some traditional way of life. I prepare 5 kendi to compliment the fridge in my Javanese home — 5 kendi are ready before the dining table is ready 😁

kendi – used to contain drinking water at home, outside the gate of Javanese houses (for passers by to drink when thirsty), in the field, almost everywhere

Kendi is actually an acronym (kerata basa in Javanese grammar) of “kendalining diri” (kendalining: control, diri: self) or self control. In Javanese culture kerata basa is used to tie a good teaching to what people is doing. So, practically kendi is not a personal utensil like spoon and fork, anyone can share it. Through the name Javanese know that using kendi, there shall be some self control applied. When someone drinks directly from the clay jug, one should do it carefully to minimise the risk of dropping the kendi and break it; and not greedily gulp all water as other family members or friends also need fresh water in that hot day.

Culturally (at least according to Greek mythology and Quran) human being’s physical is created from clay —like kendi— that is given soul by the Source and so we are breathing. So it is natural that human beings are fundamentally attached to earth. Yet how much ever human beings want to stay as firm, strong, young, beautiful like the clay coming from earth, it is not possible. There is breathing that fans the “fire of life” in the clay body and when it stops “fanning”, the clay body stops functioning.

Can’t live forever, some like to play “forever pretending”. Pretending to be young or beautiful or firm with plastic surgery. Pretending to be happy with some drugs. Pretending to be more precious than others with fake luxury and conspiracy. Pretending this and that.

Ah! That game! That’s fun indeed! Yet it is not doable for me. Being human is not an easy job, pretending makes it even difficult and complicated and unnecessary. So please count me out. 💃🏽

Hey! If some people want to live forever or stay young, firm, strong, beautiful and fully functional; they’d better be a kendi. 😂


we are too clay art work who will someday be bodily back to earth, while some part will “evanesced”, be absorbed back to the source – before the time, I’ll keep this self enhanced to being human in joy and glee humbly and originally 💝

(Racing) Weekend

Weekend morning, Love,
Grasses squirm by cold dewdrops;
Greeted by the sun.

Biking with those knowing how to race fairly is what weekend morning should be!

And when the ride is done everyone is just sitting at the river bank inhaling the smell of wet earth and scents of various plants under the sun that is hiding behind the rain clouds.

Happy weekend! 🚴🏼‍♂️🚴🏻🚴🏻‍♀️🚴🏼‍♂️🚴🏻🚴🏻‍♀️

nice to be around good friends sitting at the river bank seeing the water lilies,….
oh I forgot what it was
….putri malu (mimosa) among grasses,
climbing tendril,….
green green grass,….
lantana camara and….
…. couldn’t find its name!

The Gate

Sky gate, Beloved
Once opened, cannot be closed.
Blessings shower down.

How would it feel to be showered with rain of blessings? Intuition is truly a blessing.

Dear, Sky. Thanks for the bright half moon last night which kept reminding me to not regret for telling genuinely with no anger about my intuition that might have offended someone.

Intuition is to be listened. Intuition is not always popping out; yet once popping out, it is always right. Yes, yes, this person is better in to be genuine than to look gorgeous. 🙂

Let’s go out to breathe the freedom and victory. Today still with Blue, let Red take a rest. 💝


i will, forever

after morning prayer

(Stupid) Weekend

Weekend, Beloved,
When heaven moves to kitchen
Where AirPods are on—

It’s always good to hear from good and best friends especially at weekends in which time feels like unlimited, calls can be done while cooking or cleaning the house. Topics vary from food to rubbish, celebrity to annoying friends, spirituality to sexuality, neighbourhood to social media, history to future, measured dream to dreamy imagination, everything.

This morning a group call stopped abruptly in the middle of a topic “what’s your most interesting experience in social media”.

F1 (friend #1): You all know. We married.

F2 (friend #2): That’s happy. Try again.

F1: Scammer! It was long before this marriage. A guy put a French guy photo uploading activities of the rich handsome guy who was actually not himself and after one month I found that he was from an Asian country trying to get my money. It became a twisted plot when finally I found who he was. He made up stories that he lost his business, he tried many things but could not make it and had no choice but doing what he was doing.

F2: Was it the one you told me?

F1: Yes. You?

Me: I stalked my crush. I thought he played numbers to align with the numbers of my postings, followers and followings until finally I knew he was adjusting his numbers of postings, followers and followings to align with his fiancée’s numbers! 😫

F2: How did you know that she was the fiancée?

Me: Long story short: I found their photos having vacations to many different places every single year with one particular hashtag of their nicknames put together. They’re liking each other’s postings, too. Since then I stopped stalking him. I guess they are secretly married. Why was I so stupid? 😁

F2: Better stupid then knowing you are and so you learn. 🙂 Ok my turn. I watched porn videos.

F1, Me: What?! Where?!

F1: When?!

F2: 😂😂😂😂😂 Prank youuuuu! Of course not! I don’t have interesting experience in social media. I’m too busy with my work. Hey! Why are you both so excited? You want?

F1, Me: No!

F2: I do want.

F1: What? Say that again! I guess you have done it, you just don’t want to admit it! You’re a man and impossible to not watch that kind of videos! Don’t lie!

Me: Hmmm…. Ok, ok. That’s interesting. It’s fine just admit it.

F2: What’s wrong with you, ladies? I’m joking!

F1: (left group call)

Me: Are you there?

F2: (left group call)

Me: (feeling confused and stupid after talking to husband and wife who probably started a fight because of one failed joke)

What a (stupid) weekend! May all beings be happy.

Lesson learnt: plan your joke well esp in front of your wife! 😝

writing is about mixing time, place and characters from real plots 🥰 to tell the truth 🥰 gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!


Crossroads, Beloved,
A while gauging where to go—
Follow the North Star.

Today’s conversation with one best friend was a bit nostalgic. She talked about how she went to spiritual class (very common in my country to do so for religion or non-religion based teachings) until finally she quit at 45. Her reason was disappointment to teachers. She asked about me and I said quit at 30’s and my disappointment was to myself.

A stubborn student, I wouldn’t listen to what teachers told me to believe or to do. I would ask questions then believed only when choosing to believe; even with good explanation, I wouldn’t believe if not interested to believe.

One example of the fool was when a particular teacher gave “daily task” to recite “Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem”, I didn’t do it even he only asked me to recite it 10x a day, while the other two were 100x a day. “No, Teacher. Why do I have to do it? I already read it as part of Alfatihah recitation in my daily prayer, that’s more than 10x a day,” said I. It was when praying was five times a day for me, oftentimes 7 times! 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem is a sacred word uttered by Muslim or most traditional non-Muslim Javanese when starting an activity. It means “In the name of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”, some interpret it as “On behalf of Allah The Gracious The Merciful”. By reading it the reader is expected to only do good thing with good intension with love. The teacher also said that reading it we were doing self alignment: align the self with the true self, to be true to ourselves, to easily make decision and to cut short confusion and to always be blessed, to blend action with good intension.

Amazingly all teachers understood the fool and just gave a lot of smiles and books to read which annoyed her more and more. I became frustrated seeing the two good friends gained fast track understanding of life. I decided to quit then did whatever was fun fun fun ignoring the essence of being human being.

Only years later I found that self alignment is very important and I was sorry for realising it late. I finally got it why those two good friends were so peaceful while I was still struggling with almost everything. It was also the year when we found that that dear teacher passed away of old age.

I know where to go because I am fool…. where? to you…. 💗

Now? Learning to care more about inner journey and well being. Whatever happens to me is a consequence of my decision. If the decision is aligned with my true self, it leads to success. If the decision is false and against my true self, it leads to lesson learnt. Lesson learnt leads to better decision. Better decision leads to success. Success to me is not merely material gain, it can be simply being able to smile in tough time. This simple lesson is a result of years of battle for a stupid person like me.

My best friend asked me how now to deal with self alignment esp when in confusion.

Me: I recite Bismillahirrahmanirrahiem cumulatively 300x before night sleep.

BF: Why? Did that teacher come virtually and ask you to?  

Me: No. I found that this word is my best to strengthen self-alignment between good intention and action.

BF: Why 300x? He said 10x.

Me: He discounted the price. I’m 30x more valuable than his appraisal. 

BF: Arrogant fool!

Me: I’m just a fool.

BF: There are two of us. 

Lesson learnt: Always find a way to see my fool not others’. Always find a way to laugh at my own self not at others’.


So I Can Meet You

I don’t want to race.
Only safety that I wish
So I can meet you.

started late today and found the undercharged front lamp, decided to go back to the brighter track, safety first 🧷
brighter area near home is always the safest


Surprise, Beloved:
Message in a bottle found;
A sweet S. O. S—


(as if) suddenly weekend!!!

I found life is full of small sweet surprises right when they’re needed the most.

Why am I so stupid realising it late?

Ah! That’s one of the elements of a surprise!

lighter and lighter and lighter