Process Based

Blooming, Beloved
Not the most important phase.
Root is foundation
Where seed is a buried secret
With dancing roots, and the crop—

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Mind the strong foundation resiliently planting you to where you stand and contribution generously assisting yourself and those around.

💝

Self Worth

That you feel
Better,
Smarter,
Luckier,
Richer,
Prettier
Than others

Might
Not
Be
Self worth,
Beloved.

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Today’s discussion with some friends was about self worth. One head, one point of view—

My own understanding about self worth has evolved. Its turning point was in 2009 after a broken heart. World was ruined. Hope was (almost) zero. The worst was the way I was cut from the relationship; it made me feel of having no self worth. It was a time of emotionally shutting down like an un-charged computer; functional intellectually and physically but not emotionally— zombie in the making.

Dumbest young me!

I thought self worth was when I was do things better than others. Or, knowing more than others. Or, given a lot of things out of the blue as if winning lucky draws again and again. Gaining financial freedom and material things. Or feeling prettier than others (this one very seldom) at least prettier than Bob, my cat.

What is self worth in my system?

— self worth is about utilitarianism. Miriam Webster dictionary says utilitarianism is a doctrine that the useful is the good and that the determining consideration of right conductshould be the usefulness of its consequences; specifically a theory that the aim of action should be the largest possible balance of pleasure over pain or the greatest happiness of the greatest number.

If I’m good. So what? What have I done for my own self at the same time for others by being good, smart, lucky, financially independent?

If being good, smart, lucky, financially independent doesn’t bring benefits to others; where’s my worth? Is worth to self not enough, said someone. Not wrong; if the perspective of ‘self’ is about taking. In fact, life is always about giving and taking, or taking and giving.

“The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind,” said Islamic wisdom. It is equivalent with “urip iku urup” in Javanese wisdom.

Lo! No matter what people perceive about me as long as I do good to my own self and surrounding with good will, so be it.

May all beings be happy. 🪶

books to be shipped to Yogyakarta, for one of my best friends who opens a library in a small village 💝 I’m happy that what I read will be utilised for others’ good. 🐣