I am not a breakfast person yet I arrived in this city very early and needed a big start for my eyes and head. There is no bread with kaya or nasi lemak or fish soup or kwetiau here so….
Coffee, quite acidic to my spoiled stomach
Salad, much cabbage to contribute enough gas for the whole day
Potato wedge, much to keep me full until very late lunch later today
Tokyo, thanks for being kind to me although your railway system is never friendly to me. Taxi! 😊
Salaam.
——
kopinya juara, so acidic that my stomach sang loudly 💕
Dark sky reveals stars That gleam sending signs of life That glows silently.
——
rawon aka dark soup that has become the most delivious soup on earth
i left it in the fridge to fly back to Indonesia on Jul 30 and today arriving home my first after unpacking was heating it up for my lunch and dinner 💕
You’re lovely Like the songs in my heart. Unluckily You belong to another heart. Verily You’d thrown me to a new start. Luckily You didn’t break my hope apart. Hopefully My life again to bloom. Undoubtedly You feel ease in the room.
Life is rich and enriches, Full of sad and happy surprises.
——
one of my good friends is a handicrafter; this bag was just completed 2 days ago and delivered yesterday
my mother said “lovely”
“do you want it?”, said i
“is that ok if i take it?” she said
“why not, Ina can make a new one for me” said i.
i am happy to make my mother happy with a happy (unintentional) surprise 💕
11 in 23 Can’t say clearly more About 2 numbers That are in sequence: one, two, three; That are prime: singly operated by one and itself.
Happy anniversary!
——
I started writing diary when I was a six grader of elementary school. My golden years of diary writing was around 6 years in junior and senior high school — honest stories, mostly quoting people’s word verbatim, hand written beautifully, locked and un-shared.
WordPress is my diary, not as naked and straightforward as my younger diaries, yet all writings are genuine expressions about daily life wrapped in love language. Whatever the stories are, love is always the core and the cover.
Thanks, WordPress for being a place for me to sing my days with my own lyrics, rhymes and rhythms. I don’t like to be misunderstood yet I don’t mind being differently interpreted by different people — their misunderstanding is not a result of my creative process, it is the result of their own lack of clarity about their own inner journey.
In my life, in this WordPress, anywhere I am an open humble book but I am kept among reference collection.
11 years of being a reference collection in the library of everything. Yay!
More years to count!
took off from Multiply in 2007, landed in WordPress in 2012 — this journey is on
Mosquito’s buzzing, Scarier than it’s biting Ears though can’t complain.
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when i said to my friends that i wanted this, they chorused high toned answer “no, it is not Japan, with this type of water garden, you’ll be mosquitos’ daily party here!” 😁
photo taken while my friend was driving fast to avoid some motorbikes; i’ve missed the opportunity of taking its picture many times, this time no although not from a nice point of view
The spell of friendship Is not F R I E N D S H I P. To spell friendship Is to put some magical words To a bond So it lasts forever In love.
My friends put a spell on me. I put a spell on them. We put a spell on each other To stay together Gleaming like stars In a cluster Or in different ones blinking to each other.
How beautiful friendship is When bonded with genuine drops Of souls And Adorned with true colours Of hearts.
How real friendship is When soul and heart Are sprinkled on to A life that hopes And loves.
——
this book of friendship — no where to find in souvenir shop but found in the heart of friends
fun and true and real and genuine 💕 friendship with my beloved nephews
What can you say to that That you love so much That that love can never have enough to express?
It’s Thank you Very much For you The way You are.
——
My nephew’s recent death has taught me one biggest letting go.
When my father died, I cried little knowing that with his illness he would not survive for long. I was kind of prepared for his passing away. Yet when my nephew got an accident and got unconscious on Jul 29, I was shocked; and when hearing that he passed away the next morning, the feeling was mixed between sadness and regret.
The shock that he left us in young age with many dreams to reach and the regret that many things were not yet expressed to him were two immediate realities to face.
He was 22, very handsome, very kind hearted, talented artist, great entertainer in family and around friends, had a lot of dreams, had a lot of fixed plans with me and his cousins (yes, they are my best young friends to explore life). What’s more from a young man can have than those?
What regrets do I have?
I should have told him that I loved loved loved him soooo much although he was just a nephew and not a son. I should have told him that I had much much much more money to give him everything he needed although it was not my responsibility to give him anything. I should have brought him to Jazz Gunung Bromo with Arya although he and Ocka hadn’t got booster shot. I should have told him that all trips were purchased and he just had to pack. I should have done this. I should have done that.
I won’t forget how he checked now and then whether my illnesses were gradually cured, reminded me to take medication religiously, sent me my mother’s candid pictures, sent his picture eating or just dancing foolishly, reminded me to buy his favourite perfume once a year (he loved Hugo Boss), and so on and so forth all those simple gestures that I love the most about people.
Many especially his parents regret his death yet I believe that his passing away in one prime time is an achievement. He had made many people happy. He had entertained people the best he could. He hadn’t made too many mistakes. He hadn’t regretted a lot of things. He hadn’t misled too many people with wrong life messages. The timing was just the best!
After several days our tears are getting less and less, the torture of holding on has changed to the bitter sweet reality of releasing a beloved that departs to a better place. Our family has learnt good lessons from what he had brought as a self in life. We thank him. We bless him. We so much love him.
Good things about and by him are disclosed after his death. Hundreds of friends and acquaintances attending every day of his funeral reception (1st to 7th day after the funeral day in Javanese tradition) told short and long stories about his fun, kind hearted, witty, hilarious, generous, somewhat crazily fun nature. How could he be that selfless with his limited resources? That itself has put us in a better feeling, accepting that his life was never wasted.
His videos and pictures are scattered everywhere in social media uploaded and shared by family and hundreds of friends and acquaintances so when we miss him, we just click a link and good memory is beautifully played.
2023 has brought me a lot of lessons of letting go yet this one is the biggest and the hardest.
I thank this boy for being part of my life for the past 22 years. I have no regret of being his best friend at the same time his selfish aunt.
I thank him for loving me in his way with all his wit, laughter, surprises, and sweetness.
I thank him for teaching me how to forgive the unforgivable and forget the unforgettable.
I love you so much and let you go.
Thank You, God for giving me the life in which I learn about loving and letting go, accepting and giving and contributing, all with joy and in joy.
Salaam.
he loves Bali so much and wanted to live there — this was our trip to Bali in Dec 2022 that should be repeated next Sep to celebrate my birthday 💕 cancelled ♥️
he was to fly to Bali on Aug 1, two days after he passed away —in his last trip to Bali with me and his cousin Ocka he said “let’s get back next year” so I will get back to Bali to tell his beloved island that he is passing away, back home where he is residing in paradise — thank you, boy for being you in the life of this self, you’re so much loved and remembered 💕
we are not mourning anymore — we are celebrating his life truly 💕
A rope might help To travel to the other side, Yet it might be not. Being in the other side Is not always wise As a wise is That that means Decision for the right. Right time Right place Right person That might be Not right: Not always right amount Not always right distance Not always right calculation. This rope is right Only when it is about Knowing that pulling or releasing Are both hurting Right where and when it is decided to.
this?
this one is wiser for now 💕
might not be the right one, yet being relaxed and easy is sometimes the right one for now — i just don’t want to think too much; wisdom is not always hard 💕
Time flies Space shrinks Moment signifies Does it even matter?
You farewelled Sweetly to all, Yet no one knew Until you departed.
This selfish self Has learnt selflessness That it is about forgiving regrets And escorting you to the grand gate.
We weeped heavy tears, You’ve left long love trails. We thought we loved you, You’ve ignored our selfish wails.
You smiled at the long line That witnessed your selfless joy. We smiled to you, thanking life For giving privilege of having that boy.
Thank you For magically turning us From egoistical arrogance To considerate beings.
Thank you, My dear boy.
——
Gathering after his funeral, most of us shared about our experiences with him in his life time. Most of stories were his witty strength, social awareness and artistic talents. Many were also about how much he ate — he was not a picky eater.
Yet some kept saying “I can’t stop crying”, “I was one of those giving him last sacred bath”, “I trembled one night before he passed away”, “Why did you leave me?”, “I am so lonely without him around”, blahblahblah of all expressions showing how people experience you. Great self you are!
Yet does it matter? We mostly are all regretting what we didn’t do what we should have done with and to you. We mostly have difficult time to forgive ourselves for not doing so with and to you.
It is about you — all the administration and ceremonies. Yet at the end it is about forgiving ourselves from what we have regretted and about accepting that you are not physically around anymore.
You? Vito, you pass this cycle and enjoy the happiness beyond our joy!
My tears will dry; yet my love will keep flowing to you.
💕
Salaam.
we’ll continue striving for what you’ve always dreamt of — loving family and wise fun personality!
people said it is the longest line of funeral procession for a young man of an ordinary family — everyone said it is because of your true and selfless self
rike jokanan 
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