graphs of my Universe
Is she giving up?
She’s waiting for the right time.
Just another leap—
——
💝
played Coldplay all day today as if their concert is happening in my living room 😁
gave up the queue because my medical treatment on May 19 was much more important; if i am healthy, i still can work to earn money for the next concerts somewhere else 🙏🏼 happy watching, all ticket war winners! you deserve your strategy whatever it was
You
Are the beats in my heart.
Whereabout your heart
Am I in?
You
Are the water of a vase.
Whereabout your vase
Am I of?
You
Are the -ness at my nothing.
Whereabout your thing
Am I at?
There is silence,
And it answers me through.
I am nowhere about
You.
—
when the water is gone, all is dead — only dried leaves and air 🙏🏼
A background
Is redone.
A painting
Is restarted
Again
And again
And again.
Maybe one morning
She will restart
One more
And finally get it done.
There is peeping light
Highlighting the canvas
Naturally
Glowing with a new story
Sweeter to tell.
—-
i don’t know when this work is going to complete – it is constantly a new start because of the artist’s unprofessional insecurity
the recipient is impatiently waiting, a deadline must be set — ok, ok 🙏🏼
How much does time cost?
As the tallest canopy,
The deepest old roots—
—
true
blessed to have been a regular visitor 🙏🏼
Pak Gita in a compilation of what scholars and wise people say about happiness — some in Indonesian, some in English
Thanks for summing up. Thanks for inspiring. Thanks for living in the same era with me.
I think I can’t be more blessed to be reborn human being in this period of time as I am now.
May all beings be happy.
Thank you, Pak Gita! 🙏🏼
Essentially pure?
None. No distiller’s perfect
But time. Refining—
—
Smell might be my strongest sense. It gives me both pleasant and not so pleasant experiences in life. To share the experiences is of course an ultimate goal, yet it takes time to materialise it.
To start
Have you smelled the earth wetted by rain water?
Have you smelled the grass cut in the morning, noon and afternoon?
Have you smelled your parents’ clean clothes?
Try those and you’ll be amazed with the sensation brought to you.
Salaam.
goal: to distill essential oils for myself and those around me — this is gonna be a read-it-when-i-want-it book ✨
A basket of fresh
Turns into a jar of fresh
For mind to refresh.
—
from this — pomelo, pineapple, mango, apple, rose apple and pomegranate
to this
added with this — not so spicy this time
both mixed into this — 45 minutes of washing, peeling, cleaning, grating fruit + grinding the palm sugar
this final packed fresh — one week + 2 days’ morning grated fruits
I give up the war before I fight, that’s probably the best description about my response to the Coldplay’s Indonesia Concert ticket war on May 19.
It is a working day although coincidently I am taking a leave on that day; however, it is a medical leave to meet the specialist and receive regular medical treatment in the hospital. 🙃
I can just say May All Beings Be Happy. All the ticket war fighters to win their strongest wish!
I wish to watch them somewhere else or most preferably in England or Spain someday! Please long life for that. Yaaay!!! 🥰
Good luck, fighters! I am praying for us all!
💝
—
who doesn’t like a humble person? two of them are and so i love them both 💝
May I
Sing a sweet song
With
You
Under glowing stars shooting
To leave their age?
May I
Sit silently
With
You
Under a quiet dusk rolling
To welcome dawn?
May I
Count the sheep
With
You
Under a dreamy night shining
To light a hope?
May I?
—-
may I eat gyoza? left over from last batch — so pleasing to eat my own food, almost like heaven 😁
And it’s fully done:
An afternoon heavy snack.
Plated paradox—
—
beautiful and yummy, imperfect without chili yet what’s truly perfect in life?
deep fry above medium fire
soaked in beaten egg
rolled then tied
eggplant ribbons, minced chicken, spring onion, crushed garlic, pepper, salt and egg — less then one hour, after office heavy snack 🥰
Journey to a home
Through climb, prance, flow, dive and fly
Deserves a quenching.
—
a glass of lemongrass tea with chia seeds is a gift for a traveler 💝
What a sweet mango!
What a sweet cake!
What a sweet memory!
What a sweet day!
What a sweet life!
—-
Conversation continues
A: What is taste of life?
B: It is just like when you taste the food.
A: But why do you use the word sweetness? Why not bitterness?
B: Because I want to focus on things sweet.
A: So I can focus on the bitterness of life?
B: As you wish. Isn’t that what you are doing now? And so life is never light for you?
A: But life is truly bitter!
B: Without anything sweet? Even a slight sweetness?
A: There are times of sweetness but the concentration is very low.
B: Who decides the concentration?
A: Of course I do!
B: So why don’t you lower down the concentration of bitterness and add up the concentration of sweetness?
A: How?
B: Observe. Find the bitter. Find the sweet. Every moment you are alone. Send love to both the bitter and the sweet in you. Tell them you thank them.
A: That’s it?
B: For now.
this tiny choco nougat cake is blessed for my late father’s belated birthday — the sweet taste is for me today 😝
She’s strong
She’s fragile
She’s tough
She’s soft
She’s wordy
She’s taciturn
She’s generous
She’s jealous
She’s protecting
She’s weakness
She’s missed
She’s avoided
She’s mature
She’s spoiled
She’s simple
She’s intricate
She’s narrow
She’s wide
She’s shallow
She’s deep
She’s wicked
She’s kind
She’s black
She’s white
She’s every angle of life
She’s my mother,
Red carnation in one beautiful afternoon.
—-
Happy Mother’s Day, Ibu
I sent a message to my mother today to wish her happy mother’s day with a picture of red carnation attached.
Ibu: Thank you! Isn’t mother’s day Dec 22?
Me: Yes, in Indonesia. May 14 internationally.
Ibu: Nice! You send me another mother’s day wish again next Dec ya.
Me: No worry, it’s just a message. Easy! (then I called her as my fingers complained long messages)
Ibu: Not that easy, baby. Send me some tea and herbs, too.
Me: It doesn’t have to wait until Dec.
Ibu: Thank so much. Did you forget May 12 is Bapak’s birthday?
Me: Of course not! I just didn’t buy a cake, very busy wis some back to back agenda. I bought mango and still eat it until today.
Ibu: Although his body is not here, he is always with us. You pray for him right?
Me: Always, everyday I pray for him, my one and only father. I will buy a cake tomorrow.
Ibu: Ok, small one is good enough.
Salaam
carnation is about mother
She has heard bird news,
Sending messages
Through Morse Code.
Dots, dashes, spaces—
She has heard numbers, words, punctuations,
Telling stories
About no hope.
Acceptance, letting go, moving on—
She has heard songs, poems, winds,
Springing in heart
Warmly and gently.
Future is brighter only with clarity.
She has heard a woodpecker
Reminding her of signals and signs
In every dance of nature
To be enjoyed and understood.
She has heard of you
Giving blocks and traps
To redirect her to her own path
To happiness.
She has heard of heaven
Approving whatever she’d do
As long as she’s happy and safe
Without disturbing life.
She has heard
Dews imbuing morning to refresh,
Twilight whispering night to rest.
Life is truly a woodpecker’s Morse Code.
She has heard
And she closes her eyes,
But not ears
As long as she’s happy and safe.
Thank you, Michael Lai for again allowing me to use your poetic pictures to illustrate a poem of mine that has been poking me since forever. 🙏🏼
Bay Woodpecker Pecking a Hole in the Tree (4 Photos)
What is age, dear love?
Pearls of memories of you
Shining in my mind.
—-
May 12 is my father’s birthday. He was born in 1939 but his physical body died years ago leaving memories about him.
Happy birthday, Bapak. May you be reborn a happy one wherever you are.
💝
mango was his favourite — i’ve eaten mango for 3 days to celebrate his birthday 😀 no cake this year as I prioritised my time for something more important; sorry, Bapak 😘
What is work, my love?
Office, site visit, kitchen,
all rooms to fulfil.
——
Work is both those weekdays I am paid by my employer and weekends and holidays when I spend more from what I earn on weekdays. Both I do with all my heart and soul.
Thank you for everything.
May all beings be happy.
ironed clothes make good days of mine, that’s why i iron most of my clothes even those for sleeping 💝 i love myself 😁
late lunch after ironing 🥰 my kitchen loves me 😁
after lunch i finished making “rujak serut” for the next one week — one box per day 😇 to continue morning sliced fruit during Tapa Brata, i modify it to morning rujak serut 😁
She texted again
I saw typo in your poem,
Said she.
It’s time to fix
What was not.
Life is a typo—
Revised
Through breathing,
By blinking.
Typo is a best friend
Who is willing to amend.
Typo it is.
—-
is life a typo willing to amend or empty glass ready to use — whichever, both are accepting better vibe 😁
They celebrate it
Annually.
I
Daily
Thank
For all
Even if a bit salty.
—-
i dissolve sadness with cooking 💝👍🏽
they use Botox to keep good skin, I bothok 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
yum! a little but too salty, i added another sprinkle of salt
all in less than one hour — not icl the steaming process though
another Javanese bayleaf
😍
Javanese bayleaf
banana leaf is expensive here so even using the yellowed one doesn’t make me undignified 😀 when i was a child, i harvested it for free for play
bothok recipe: tempe, grated coconut, dried anchovy, shallot, garlic, chili, galangal, Javanese bayleaf, spring onion, salt and brown sugar
There are billions of stars
Swimming in the dark.
They are born and will die
After completing their spark.
With centers the stars travel
Flying as strong as sky larks.
They reach some terminal
Even without visible landmarks.
There’s a captain in the cockpit,
Pulled by a federation out there.
Stars won’t easily quit
Unless there’s a common end to share.
Journey of a star
—-
Captain Picard — favourite capt 👍🏽
Mr. Spock 👍🏽 — favourite crew
What is excessive?
Filling in all gaps and spaces,
Blocking the breathing—
—
my soup and fruit rujak — fresh and refreshing
chicken claws added to lunch from Kimly Dimsum — arriving late and enough to keep me full until tonight ☺️ i wanted to vomit too full 😇
Surprise!
Said she
Showing the hopeless
That
Survival is about adaptability
Welcomed by nature,
Approved by resolution,
Driven by muscles,
Enjoyed by senses.
I’m gonna be yellow!
—-
can you see the spike of oncidium (must be yellow) at the left? i saw it when sitting on the toilet enjoying my good time 😀— suddenly the beauty struck me! 😍 thank you! 🙏🏼 i’ll be patient waiting for you to bloom 💛
she used to be one of balcony gang members and was about to pass as the original media (wood bark and charcoal) started decaying; her new home is now shower room in a glass flower vase; media is sponge, charcoal and water 😍
She cleans the mugs
From which we drink,
She swipe the stains
Of tea and coffee.
She moves the mugs
To humming machine,
She unloads them out,
In to drying machine.
She smiles to us
We smile to her,
She says hello
We say thank you.
She asks me why
I drink so much,
She guesses I’m thirsty
Or the aircon is cold.
She’s a guardian
Of the white mugs.
How life is hilarious!
Among those who are serious!
—-
i like talking with certain cleaning ladies assigned in the pantries near my section and the gym, and seems that they love doing it, too. there is one particular loving it the most, a (probably) 25-yo lady with a syndrome making her not talking clearly and processing messages rather slowly yet she is the friendliest. today she told me how many mugs she has to wash (helped by machines) everyday and why there are many more on Tue to Thu. she said many employees like to use more than one mug (each mug for one tea flavour) and she’s wondering why. when i said “i use one mug for one tea flavour because i don’t want to mix the taste, i am sorry”, she said “no, no, then it is ok lah” 🥹 what a blessing to talk to a humble human being — not so much thought processed and so much fun enjoyed 🥰
thanks for taking good care of our white mugs! 🙏🏼
Life is light
When she dances
And sings.
As long as you are happy,
She says.
—
smile, dance and sing! 😀 unbeatable when she takes good care of the child within 💝
I have faith on the brighter future of Indonesia!
I’ll love
No matter what
I’ll be over anyways.
I’ll work
No matter what
I’ll be over anyways.
There is me
Or not,
It might be the same.
Yet as long as there is me,
I’ll do what I can
To add more
Meanings
And
Utility
To my life.
I’ll love
No matter what
In life.
Life is good,
I won’t skip
A thank
And
Or
Cheers.
—
listen to love; it is everywhere 💕
Bring me takeaway,
A souvenir that reminds
Meaning of a road.
—
The biggest takeaway of my recent Tapa Brata:
a silver bangle of ANICCA
About ANICCA
When home welcomes you
With unexpected colour,
Blessings are around.
—-
Home again! 💝
Nice to say hi to orchids that I thought to be yellow but white instead!
thought yellow but white! pretty!
the second bloom after 3 years! thank you!
all are here! full team! 💝
What is easy
But hard to do?
It is
To relax
Where sensations are alien,
When vibrations are not aligned.
It takes training to all muscles.
It takes experience to all moods.
It takes willingness to all senses.
It takes time to all paces.
Today she says
I need all universe
To relax.
—-
this is a super different weekend of mine — my sensitive senses really have to cope with many: voices and sounds, whispers and screams, fragrance and odours, sights and scenes, heat and humidity, calmness and cheers, quietness and crowd, curiosity and satisfaction, bitter and sweet; thanks God for the beanie bag — yet I still want to vomit 😃
Smiling at a weekend
Makes air fresher and lighter.
A place that’s choking—
—
My best friend in Ubud is an active committee member of Bali Spirit Festival; she invites me to enjoy one day free pass after my Tapa Brata for today.
She knows very well I don’t enjoy crowd well yet she insisted that I try to experience an ambiance that might enrich my life. Thank you, I am now in.
I collected my wristband at the entrance, met my friend at the media center she managed then browsed around. A lot I didn’t imagine before. Not only the offered activities and products but also the visitors and participants.
While the activities and products are still easy for me to digest, the way the visitors dress is more shocking to me; half-naked might not be for myself but I can still understand that many bule (the white people in Indonesian language) are half-dressed due to hotter temperature in South East Asia, but almost naked…
Anyway my best friend has changed my curiosity into smiles— very wide smile….
I am enjoying my weekend!
the pink wristband for one day pass – got it free; thank you, De Nov!
the inner entrance inside Puri Padi Hotel where the festival is taking place
map
loving it!
another one
art is dominating the venue — loving it!
hungry? never worried 💝 — more choices other than this one
my favourite!
still heliconia 💝
one of those blinding me (the mildest for my eyes, that almost naked lady with backpack) — this is not a beach please…. 😎 i don’t have the heart to take more pictures 😏 i know what my friend will say to me “that’s why you can’t live in Bali, stay in Singapore, safer for your brain and mind”
stage for the (spiritual) music performance later afternoon — not being arrogant but after so much to learn and unlearn and relearn, to me all is spiritual without label so let me skip this spiritually-labeled music
this is the safest place for me to just drink tea and browse around aromatherapy oil in the market — will spend my time here until I meet my friend again ❣️
on a beanie bag under a young durian tree 💝
will i be back next time? 😁 Yoda said “your path you must decide, Jedi” 😂
Knowing who’s within
Behind an unlocked door. Who?
Look at the mirror
—
Loving kindness doesn’t belong to one particular religion. It is not a domain, it is universal. Thanks for the consistent reminder about it.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam.
Pak Merta Ada with 7 of 32 students in his 881st Tapa Brata — thank you, Bapak 🙏🏼
rike jokanan 
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