Too hard, Beloved
She tried climbing giant tree.
Too tired, she passed out.
Too hard, Beloved
She tried climbing giant tree.
Too tired, she passed out.
Across rainbow bridge,
Wings bring a tiny light up
High to where it glows.
I’m surrounded by animal lovers and rescuers. Every now and then I see how they struggle with animals in pain or death. It’s not easy each time those friends have to say good bye but at the same time they learn again and again that the best end is by releasing sincerely and being released sincerely.
Happy journey, Dear. Thanks for all the lessons you have taught us.
Hey! I am the Cat,
Sits calmly at a man‘s legs.
Are you awake, Sire?
Singapore – August 12, 2019 / 1:05pm
He’s a yellow cat,
With a hurt back and couldn’t walk.
Much love is showered.
Chocho is one of two kittens that survive of 4 of Mother Prengil. He got an unknown accident that made him not able to walk and just drag his body. I wish I’d be with him to give him medication.
I’m so sorry, Chocho. 💝
GH Jakarta, April 19 2018 – 23:10
Breezy, frozen dawn
Wind’s blowing in through window
A fragrant spirit.
Greek passed away. She was buried in a descent way, wrapped in white fabric, anointed in musk perfume and prayed with sincere love. She might still want to see us at home — that’s when we smelt fragrance of musk in early morning. The place where she is buried is way at our lovely backyard and where we smelt her musk is way at the front part of home.
Greek was visiting. She wanted to let us know that she is fine and will never leave us….
She is playing in a very enlightened garden.
Love for Greek….
Singapore – May 23, 2016 – 12:25am
Our dear cat, Greek just went across the rainbow yesterday May 10 15:15 Tulungagung time. She’d been sick for the past two weeks — one bump inside her stomoch above hind legs had become bigger and bigger, made her weak and her body coul not hold it anymore….
…. We said goodbye today…. Greek, thank you for having shared your happiness, joy and purity with our family. It is not as long as we expect but it’s been a beautiful connection.
I was not there so much with you as I’m in Singapore and you’re in Indonesia with mom and my sisters…. But truly I love you with all my heart! I just planned to see you next week. To hug you….
Such a beautiful soul you are.
We won’t forget you.
Your playfulness, cuteness, chubbyness, all quality in yours is just bondng us stronger with you.
Now you must be above, looking at us…. Oh looking at me especially…. 🙂
You are saying that you are fine, you are happier and more united with everything. Salaam for you, my dear Greek.
You’re just like air…. I’m breathing you.
You’re just like sunray…. Shining on me….
You’re just like water…. I’m fresh by you.
Now, you are more real.
Ever real. Forever real.
Forgive us for not making you alive for so long, but we’re sure it is also your choice.
Thank you, Greek.
Say our warm love and sweet regards to Bob, Greece, Greg and all our family members across the bridge.
See you in a better place and time.
We love you so much.
Soul is soul. We cry over the plane that we can’t touch with our body but the soul is always there, lingering gracefully and we still can feel it with our “other” body.
We lose our beloved parents, children, brothers, sisters or pets that we think leave us forever but truly they are here and still close to us if we realise.
Salaam…. to all Souls who rest for the next cycles, rest in peace…. 🙏🙏🙏💞💞💞🎈🎈🎈
Singapore – May 12, 2016 – 4:19pm
Some people are very insecure, they’re afraid of sharing this world with other creatures then they start to show their selfishness by hunting and killing animals that should not be killed.
My dear friend, Jojo Lin, a stray cat feeder cum rescuer just shared with me a very sad story….
One guy riding a bike with two vicious dogs unleashed are hunting for stray cats to kill. His reason is to get rid of stray cats from the housing complex that according to him the population is soaring. He didn’t want to listen when my Friend explain that her activity includes spaying cats to control the population in the area…. This stupid idiot just does not want to listen, he even came with the leader of community (Ketua RT in Bahasa Indonesia).
One cat died this morning by a car accident when this little poor thing tried to save life from the raging dogs and the guy on the bike. Please be in peace, Mimot. Your life will be remembered and your death will be a pedestal to keep us survive to help other cats like you. Blessings to Mimot….. Your life is never a waste, buddy. You leave a lot of love and lessons to many.
We are planning to report this to Jakarta governor, Ahok Basuki Cahaya Purnama so that he can highlight that all animals should have the right to get good life in Jakarta and that animal welfare should be promoted and maintained from now own including giving the support to animal rescuers that do the right things (not them who just collect animals in cage losing the real nature of animals), promote appropriate causes pf animal welfare and educate people about animal welfare.
Fyi, this cruelty happened this very morning in the around Kebun Jeruk, West Jakarta. Below is the picture of the cruel guy, very blurred because my friend tooke picture from a distance and with big fear as he is kind of threatening her for helping the stray cats in the area.
We will follow up this seriously.
I never deny that I was afraid of death. I don’t know what will happen after death. Will there by heaven and hell? Am I going to hell and how long will I stay there? Oh gosh! It really makes me crazy.
Religion says there will be judgement to put me to fire or garden of Eden. And, this doctrine is still haunting me; less often now though. Some others say that there will be another a recycled karma, I’ve gotta go back to life to repay what’s not done in current portion. Some others say nothing will happen after death, just nothing — I don’t even know what they mean by nothing. Some others say they don’t care…. There might be the others that say things we never know.
Many of my friends passed away, in many different modes: sick, old age, killed, accident….
If I may choose what my bed of death, I will say at home with someone I know and they know what’s death trully is, not people who pretend knowing what it is…. A real bed of death.
Why am I talking about death?
I remember some sweet animals in their beds of death, they know they are weakening but they are struggling. Bima the cat, Moppy the dog and many more cats and dogs…. They struggle and fight to survive from the violence od human beings and from their old age and sickness under human’s good treatment.
For the cats and dogs and other animals struggling to survive from human beings’ violence, please be strong and be patient…. I pray that you are in the right path and you know it. Please, please, please radiate good energy. Please don’t be afraid of death like I was. Death is a gate, a true gate to meet the beloved before transitting to a better space.
I know bed of death is not always a bed surrounded by beloved ones but please please please know that you are all surrounded by angels flapping their wings like a group of colibri…. Happily singing songs of love and peace welcoming their soul leaving the earthy life.
Bima the cat, you can choose what you want. Leaving or staying won’t give you pain at all…. It is a path of learning, learning to let go of loved ones. Like you, I’m learning to do and still fail while you succeed….
Moppy the dog, hello there…. I miss you who struggle to survive there in Jakarta with your beloved family. I hope we can meet again before you leave…. Just let go, boy. We just love you wherever you are.
Bed of death…. Now it is below those beloved rescued animals.
Next time, it will be below me….
Bed of Death, you may come. But please give me time to pay all my debts.
Salaam, Bed of Death.
Remembrance of Bed of Death, Temasek – October 15, 2015 – 12:32am
I support animal lovers and rescuers by praying for them or when I’m able I’d like to donate or accompany them to take care of those animals. But honestly I mostly support them from a distance…. The lowest level of caring but the best I can.
About two weeks ago a friend of mine texted me to pray for Blacky, a little cutie pie that was suffering from vomitting after every meal of his. Blacky, a black-with-white-spots kitten was waiting for exchanging blessings with me.
Blacky was transported by his mommy named Amie by bus for about 3 hours. What a lovely journey for Blacky and Amie the mommy….! To get him cured. Vet said that Blacky suffered from kidney disfunction. Or, at least that was the result after some examination by the vet plus X-Ray.
Mommy had to go home to Tangerang, Banten because she had to work. But Blacky ought to stay — he was exhausted and needed some rest because of Tangerang – Jakarta trip and his sickness. Then it was decided to put Blacky in an animal clinic in Kemang.
Blacky was not getting better. He kept vomitting and decided to leave, he was departing to the land across beautiful ocean. On his last day he ate a little and got positive energy support from another friend of mine. But Blacky really wanted to leave. He was happy and still is now.
Blacky felt the love of mommy Amie and thanked the Universe for sending her to take care of him in his very short life span. He was serving himself as a cat and it was his best serviceat that time. He would love to serve a better role in his next span of life and the Universe already grants his wish.
He will be borne as a boy or a girl who gets so much love…. Namaste….
He will be borne as a boy or a girl who is raised by loving and caring parents…. Namaste.
He is blessed and giving blessings.
Thank you Blacky for being present in my life although we never met face to face…. I feel the love of yours and mommy Amie’s love.
Please be safe in your trip to your better future. Til we meet again….
Jalan Putri Hijau, Medan – October 2, 2015 – 12:23am
Fresh air in and out,
Pumping lungs, blowing blood
Is joy of breathing.
This haiku is a gift for two animals rescued by my fellow animal rescuers.
Those two animals are Moppy the dog and Bima the cat shose noses are injured.
Please send your positive energy for Moppy and Bima for their good life and joy. However long they live, let them decide.
Singapore – August 31, 2015 – 11:00pm
Greg, I heard from mother that it’s your 12th day not going home… Where are you? We hope you are ok. If only you have sent yourself to the other side, please be safe. Enjoy your new life in heaven. We’re sure you’re happy….
But if you are still out there, please go home. Your plate is always full with your favorite fish. The bowl is full with clean water. And, your favorite corner is not occupied by anyone else. Yours is still yours.
Greg, we miss you…. I hope you are there for me to hug when I’m home this Idul Fithri. And, Greek is missing you, too. Mom said that Greek was waiting for you everyday near your plate… Come back, boy!
Wherever you are. see you, my dear brother….
Seremban – July 5, 2015 – 6:15pm
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Wall.”
Walls are massive construction that will keep you separated from the other side of them. Once you can penetrate the walls, you can discover what’s the secret….. But, why so curious? You are in the inside: whichever side you are in, that’s where the other siders want to know. Be there, the walls don’t mean anything. 🙂
Of my collections, I have some wall pictures: inn ancient buildings that have shown sustainability. Artistic, precise and long-lasting….. in new buildings that shown simplicity. Simple, short-timed but still beautiful…..
Temasek – March 14, 2015 – 6:21am
Long before I hug you under the shed of light, you have chosen me to do….
It is not my intention. It is your wish to do….
Down to me you flew….
To my life, to my heart, to get absorbed by my soul.
Time to press the button:
Last day of your physical being to be with us….
They call it death, let’s call it gate….
You’ve chosen somebody else,
Be great. Be the bearer of the light….
I never regret for being your human – tears flowing isn’t a sign of sadness. Allow me to cry when remembering you, it is a celebration of my pride of being a mom of a cat that is now waiting to be born as a human being….
Wherever you are, be loving, be loved….
Thank you, Bob….
Singapore – July 23, 2014 – 11:22
I lost another cat of mine – Greece…. He is the cat coming to mom’s house in my latest visit to her. He came in early morning following our early cat, Greg who goes home every morning for breakfast. I sat on the front bench and Greece was shy, sitting under the bench – could not eat, too weak to do anything. He was skinny, with eyes closed and sticky with eye gunk all over….
Even after cleaning his eyes were still full of eye gunk
My mom as usual is not so keen with cat but then I decided to adopt him. So, I cleaned his eyes, fed him with fish + soft rice, brought him to vet for general checking on his body, his eyes and for vermicide drops. The vet said Greece’s fur motive is pretty – like Bengal cat. And, we took care of him well from then on. My mom showed better welcome. She loves cats actually – just her old age makes her weaker to get another one to nurse….
Ready for vet
I went back to Singapore – hoping to see Greece again in the near future – July maybe.
Better condition, he looked happier – he slept with me during my stay in mom’s home – about 4 nights
But he passed away…. He passed away yesterday – May 23 at 12:45pm.
My mom was also sad – did not want to tell me because I know she would not want to see me cry as I did for Bob’s death last February. The last message from her was that Greece puked and did not show up for 24 hours. When he got back home he was weak and ready for vet – but mom should wait for motorcycle to go. After that no news…. Until yesterday 6:14pm she just replied me through blackberry-messenger only when I asked her “How is Greece?”
“Dear, Greece passed away at 12:45pm today….”
Then I felt the loss again – not so big as when I lost Bob but it is strong enough to stop my mood to work.
Greece is my beloved after Bob. Greg and Greek are the next….
I learn a lot about loss and have always felt the power over me. It gives me courage to dive deep into my soul that I am connected to all beloved surrounding. If not connected, why should I feel the grief? And, shoo I be connected, what am I gonna do? Sobbing? Moving on and forgetting the passing-away? Or, marking it as another milestone of this soul path? The choice is here now.
But at the same time loss teaches me what love is really is. Love is always releasing beloved to go, to reach the next phase of life – even if the next is death.
Greece, you were with us not so long but has taught us how to cope with loss and how to love….
Mom shared with me how sad she is when remembering you and Greek followed her to aunt’s house and went back home tailing her when mom said “Come, come babies, go home…”
Thanks, Greece…. Let’s happily meet on another day in paradise.
Last condition before I went back to Singapore – healthier, happier, in fact ready to depart
YCK Rd – May 24, 2014 – 12:36pm
opening the door,
will I see you?
or, is it only your shadow? pretending to be you….
did I live with you? or with your shadow?
is it now that you are real or shadow?
tears flow, flowing along the path pushing through the door at the end.
what end? is there an end?
or a start? what should be started?
are you there?
welcoming me or welcoming my shadow?
am I real me or just my shadow?
just the two of us….
staring at each other – shadow to shadow?
I just hope you are the one behind the door….
Hilton KL – April 30, 2014 – 12:49am
This is the 40th day of his leaving me….
My dear cat, my dear son….
40th day is when soul is finally ready to completely leave this physical world – letting go of all who are loved to be sincerely separated physically….
Bob is now fully releasing me. And I am, too… Thank you, Bob for being my beloved – you’ll always be. Be peaceful, seeing me from behind the curtain of light. Be happy to see me, I will see you…
Sampeyan wis seneng ya, le…. Kuburanmu ora entuk disekar karo sing manggon ning ngarepmu lho, le…. Wonge wedi he he he…. Wis, ndhak papa – tak dongakne ae malah luwih matoh.
Salam kanggo Bapak Jokanan dan Didang ya….
I love you, Bob…..
Yio Chu Kang Rd – April 4, 2014 – 11:30pm
I am away from home.
I am far away from family.
My closest family is Bob – a stray cat I adopted about five years ago when I was living in a rented room in Tangerang. Bob came to my landlady’s house every afternoon when I got home. I used to sit on one sofa inside or outside the house when he started to look at my chewing mouth.
“Are you hungry, cat?” From then on I never forgot to bring some food for him.
Now he is with my mom, in her village — 1,921 kilometres away from Singapore.
He is a spoiled son of mine. Almost all of my mom’s neighbours know that Bob is my “son” and they never dare disturb – if only all knew. Some don’t know and they would do things bad if they feel my cat (or any other cats) don’t behave… Oh man…. You behave please, a cat purely behave – you just don’t know.
I post Bob’s pictures on my fridge’s body and on the board of my workstation. I will greet his face in the photos everyday when I am in town. When I am traveling I kiss and smile at his saved pics in my smartphone. I feel like Bob is never far from me. My love and care for him is just the same from the first time I trained him to get used to my skin by touching on my toes on his body until finally he is fond of being caressed and stroked.
I sometimes salute him a Namaste from here just to whisper to his soul that we are never apart. Oh, what a special cat he is. Yes, indeed.
Bob was the only friend of mine when everybody did not want to be with me. Bob was the one staring at me when I was crying alone in my house. Bob was the one reminding me when there was someone climbing up to my house rooftop and saved me. Bob was the one who reminded me that there is always a soul caring…. And, he is the one making me so much full of energy in earning money. I sent some money to my mom to buy some food for him and of course for my mom…. 🙂 So simple my motivation, it is just a cat and a woman.
This Chinese New Year I hope I can go back home again to see Bob. I will let him know that my love to him is across the border. Not just a river I can sail across but it is the sky that I fly across to find good life for him.
Hi Bob, thanks for being my dear son for the past five years. Please behave, be healthy and live long. I always miss you….
Yio Chu Kang Rd – January 17, 2014 – 10:13pm
It was when he was sick before I went to a business trip for 3 days, I put him in an animal clinic that did not take care of him as well as I expected. Well, it was then…. Now he is ok with my mom and sisters.