graphs of my Universe
If not because of
Love,
This soul won’t soar,
This heart won’t throb,
This head won’t radiate,
These palms won’t trust sensations.
If because of
Love all are alive,
And so
I fall in
Love
Every single
Day
With
You.
The same
You
Over and over
Again.
——
falling in love is everyday whole year like butternut squash 💕
picture: RC Gorman’s work of art
There are waves that breathe
Fanning the flame flickering
Eternally within.
——
RC Gorman’s work of art
Coincidences,
Unexplained experience
In one fast crossroad
——
‘M supposed to watch Coldplay in Japan with Vito, my nephew. We’d planned the trip since May; he passed away in July. Feeling desperate and not wanting to go alone, I was about to cancel the trip when coincidently one best friend said she wanted to visit me in Singapore in the week of the supposed-to-be-cancelled trip. I offered her a free Coldplay ticket to go with me. She agreed! And so the trip cancellation didn’t happen. 💕
I am still selecting which photo of his is the best to bring. I want to take picture with his picture before, during and after Coldplay concert and wherever we would have been going in Japan.
Sometimes we live to walk on others’ dreams and those who have the dreams must let go off their dream to be walked on by others. That’s why I always want to live my life with true dedication as not everyone has the opportunity to live this long.
For those living chasing dreams, you can!
For those leaving with some dreams behind, your dreams are cherished by your beloved!
Rest in love, dear boy.
Salam.
my life is a chain of ordinary acts, rare sprinkles of drama and magical coincidences — unexplainable except that I am blessed with all the problems and solutions 💕
Today’s a good day
To breathe what’s good and what’s not.
Tasting in balance—
——
my friend in Ubud packed some ready-to-fry cassava — good!
I wish to meet you
And greet each other sweetly
Where sun looks red round.
——
sometimes I imagine I meet a long lost friend in one busy airport and we greet each other —- “long time no see, let’s have some tea!”
(Changi Airport picture – Rain Vortex)
Sometimes it feels dizzy
To look things as presented
Then I flip upside down
Things are weird
You become so within reach.
Once the twig cracked and broke,
I fell down
And you were nowhere to find
Before talking
Without goodbye.
——
i’m a fool
Pearls sliding down
The slope of this face
End in a clear lake
Reflecting a tiny shadow
Of my singing heart
About this journey
About the weak
About the unprotected
About the underprivileged
About those
Who are turned to a line of batteries
To charge a machine
Called
Greed.
Wet my cheeks,
Flood my heart,
Keep me clear
So I can see what is.
——
choosing to spread smiles and to silently recite unchained melody of peace and love to those 💕 the least I can do
my praying heart goes to those civilians especially those underprivileged, weak, unprotected, betrayed anywhere they are on Mother Earth
May all beings be happy. Free from suffering.
🙏🏼
(picture from Pinterest)
I live here
On a wandering planet
Where sunflower grows
Looking up the sun
With no question
Until maturity arrives
And she will face only the east
Where hope rises.
Indeed.
——
(picture from Pinterest)
A best gift, my love
Knowing you seeing my heart.
Do you know my heart?
——
wooden comb is one best gift from myself to myself this year 😀
The tree sows thousands of seeds
That fly to all directions
And never return
Until the wind stands up
And calls.
Which seeds come back?
Any
That hear a mother
Beautifully sings with love
Humbly whispers with peace
About home
Full of
Love.
——
this is how much beautifully humble my mother is — with that she has been highly respected by those surrounding her; I won’t be as respected as she is yet I want to at least preserve some part of her humbleness 💚
Everything is centred.
My mother.
Everything is meaningful.
My mother.
Everything is wisdom.
My mother.
——
she was meeting her doctor for medical review on her birthday today — she said her health and children are the best gift forever 💕
Ibu and me in Jabal Rahmah (Mount of Love), 2016 — wishing our love spread to everyone around us
a tumpeng by me for my mother, sent via WhatsApp 🙂
I flipped this body down
To see the world upside down
My first effort brought frown
Still I decided to go on
I’m hanging my satchel
I’m hanging my pole
I’m taking all as it is
From behind the scroll
——
this is my favourite photo of mine although I don’t look good at all: I’m simply upside down with fun as how I see the world outside my work, trying to relax by seeing things from different perspectives and understanding others’ esp those disagreeing with me —
to me most of the time caption is more important than picture and I always like to tease my friends with my caption and some usually cannot stop commenting although irrelevantly 😀
There’s a seed
Called self
Needing love
And care
And consistency
To grow,
To glow,
To everlastingly flow.
——
started fermented rice water to treat my long hair — this one is black rice + rose tea + lime
shampoo bar and conditioner bar made of longsheng rice that is used by the Red Yao women for their beautiful long hair — after using these bought bars, I plan to make my own shampoo bar from Indonesia rice and conditioner liquid from boiled flaxseed water
💕
all in the name of self care because no one cares about myself but me
💚
Even if
I love
You,
I won’t chase
You.
I am a tiny dust,
They are giant stars.
I realise at last,
Their silence gives me scars.
I am a wandering centre
That spins peacefully,
In solitude
Giving blessings
From a distance
Until someday
They can feel what I feel,
They can see what I see,
They can hear what I hear,
They can taste what I taste,
They can touch what I touch,
They not be what I not be.
——
still, centred yet wandering with the universe
Evacuate. Now.
Hundreds of steps in the dim.
Sorry, false alarm.
——
this morning I felt kind of alarmed; nervous at the same time energised because of alarm going off early morning in the hotel — fire warden in action; run run run! lucky enough I stayed on 11th floor, not the highest! 👍🏽
with other guests who were (I guessed) sleepy and not ready to show themselves up to the world
no need to dress up! I just grabbed my MacBook, iPhone and my sling bag, left other stuff less important (although important) — oh my! predictably I saw many were wearing “whatsoever as long as wearing things” 😝 tired as well as entertained 😂
in the assembly point waiting, waiting and waiting — false alarm
the hotel rep said “We are terribly sorry. It is a false alarm and all guests would you please go back to your room? We will arrange a compensation for you all affected. We once again apologise to you for the inconvenience caused. Sorry, Ma’am. Sorry, Sir….”
a love letter I found arriving in the room this evening 🙏🏼
If there is luxury
I can always boast,
It is time
With which horizon broadens,
Spectrum of truth unrolls,
Insight sharpens,
Heart softens,
Wisdom drips, drops then flows;
Love goes on.
——
what time is it? wanna be back to London — when when…. 😊
Useful link for Greenwich
Luxury, my love
What makes one feel fortunate,
Feel responsible.
Luxury, my love
Not brand, not price tag. It’s mind
Bursting new spirits.
Luxury, my love
You can bluff but you can’t trade
With a true spirit.
Luxury, my love
What you’ve failed, what you’ve too learnt
About the deep wounds.
——
not the Aman Jiwo Hotel making it luxurious, it is Borobudur temple, Menoreh Hill and all the Javanese villages and tradition conserved as surrounding is the real luxury
This life’s well weathered
‘Tween hot and cold, calm and rushed.
There’s home to shelter.
——
Indonesia Mosque in Bangkok — joining a short prayer
i went to a mosque then to a small shrine today before flight — feeling the humbleness of human beings begging for help from the One indescribable unseen unexplainable, the hope tiptoeing behind fear, the weakness of human beings facing our own nature
these folded lotus flowers are floating to weather after their duty as envelopes with which prayers are sent up above through billowing smoke of incense
now i have to pack to fly back home soon to see my mother hospitalised — certain days are just under the weather
wishing all my silent chants can be medicine for the woman who loves me to the moon and back
see very soon, Ibu
may all beings be happy
💕
Thank you, mid autumn
For showing a firmer end
Of uncertain path
Having trapped the traveler
In a maze of blinking stars.
——
Happy Mid Autumn Festival
between chopsticks
on a spoon
in a cone
among stars
shadowed by birds
by the sea
over a castle
Note: pictures sent by a colleague
When hunger invites,
Would you attend or fight back?
A game anyway—
——
rambutan behind the green
spring rolls
I am not a fully kind human being
And that’s why I try my best to be kind to those around me
Everyday.
Be kind.
It is though a choice.
Being kind
By dealing with it with integrity
Or
By staying away.
Once staying away,
I stay away forever.
That’s my kind
Of respect
Especially to those
Personally,
Loudly or silently
Disrespecting me.
——
most of us don’t know each other but many of us decide to respect each other
many of us are reluctant to disclose most of our unhappiness and many of us decide to respect each other
Crowning black gets grey,
Surfing through tunnels of time.
There is no U-turn.
——
long, black with some grey showing — excited to have this long hair to caress ♥️
Fragrance of sambac
Ferries the wish to the love
Reborn with new scents.
——
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so — remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. 🥰 We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yet….
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. 💚
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 — wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck 💕😊 you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! 💕💕😊
Ayutthaya greets
A heart that sings a love song.
A wat witnesses.
——
from 2010 to 2012 Thailand was my playground esp in the area of food processing , from 2013 up to now is for electronic mostly in Ayutthaya — Sala Ayutthaya is always my favourite here, thank you…. 😘
You are not a star.
Never.
A star brightly rises.
A star magnificently sets.
You might be upset
As a star is what is adored
By many.
Don’t be a star,
It is born,
It dies.
A seen star is thousands years of its history—
Illusion.
You are the earth.
Always.
Who lets the sun rise
And lets the sun set
Sincerely.
The earth is loved
By many.
When I see the earth
I see a present moment
Of everything about it.
I am grounded to earth.
It is where I live, love and laugh
Sincerely.
You are
A star not.
——
a star is a dream; the earth is where I live, love and laugh sincerely
Note: picture is from Pinterest; I wanted a Java island on the earth with stars above yet could not find any 🙂
Once
I knew not
Or cared not
That all struggled
Until
I sat still
To feel the whole cosmos
Within me.
Now
I know
And know
That all inevitably suffer
By choice though.
And so
I chant
Wishing…
May all beings be happy, free from suffering.
And to you
Across the ocean.
With red roses,
May you be happy, free from suffering.
——
May all beings be happy 💕
free from suffering
…. and also to you across the ocean ♥️
Lessons are to learn
As books to read, air to breathe,
Life to put meaning.
——
the Japanese wooden dolls in the reception of the language center where I learn Japanese lessons
— ありがとうございます 💕
How sweet is your heart?
Warm as sun of the beach? Or
Cool as mountain breeze?
——
coconut ice cream 💕 as sweet as warm heart, as cold as ignorance — the stick is made of sugarcane
Make bread and butter
Special
Among ordinary days
Even if it’s
Just by differently spreading
Butter on the bread.
Finding ordinary special
Is where blessings reside.
——
a bite or two to thank life for everything
Queueing clear glasses
Line up to contain liquid.
Freshening the hope.
——
glasses
rike jokanan 
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