graphs of my Universe
I wish I know
You better
So there won't be useless tears falling to long for
You.
I wish to meet
You now
So there won't be useless words
Uttered in secret for
You.
I wish to be with
You, too
So there won't be useless thought dancing restlessly for
You.
But I won't force to be with
You soon
As the timing is predestined by and arranged for
You.
counting my falling hair before finally meeting you
💕
two friends see one same thing from different states of existence (a human being and a dog) and explain it in different words — both are right
i feel like i am Snoopy, lucky to have Charlie Brown as a friend
💕
It’s always kindness that makes me believe life is worth fighting for.
Have a good weekend❣️
Everything, dear self
Has its own time, no delay.
There is never doubt.
when my doubt is unbearable, i will open the Quran and ask to be given one answer to my doubt — after some short meditative moment; i will randomly open a page and the first part that i see or point with my forefinger, i will simply take it as the answer
and this is the most recent one when i asked about doubt “…. and He has appointed a term in which there is no doubt.”
it might be a coincidence that the “no doubt” appeared to me when i asked about doubt
it is not a scientific process to make a decision, but i choose to believe it because i don’t want to lose the ability to rely on intuition in time when logic cannot help
it takes practices and acceptance to embrace this simple (speculative) way of making decision, and it takes humility (for a logical person like me) to humbly believe
thank you, Gusti 💕
Be on the right pace,
This road won't vanish. Bridge stays.
Prance with a light heart.
what a coincidence! i randomly picked this convo that truly reminds me to be on the right pace ❣️
this is a nice Friday with all work done early
thank you!
God, listen to us please….
—- and help make it happen.
Dear kitchen,
I promise you
To love you
As long as
You let me sing
While cooking.
grilled saba from my kitchen and friends from outside (i ate 1.5 saba….)
i’m crazy about deep fried & carrot – all from my kitchen
the chicken in the heart shaped bowl is garang asem, favourite! my kitchen loves me!
i miss you in silence and that’s beautiful
her instagram: officiallyewa
Want I
To be surrounded by
You
Where laughter is generous,
Thought is serious,
Confidence is contagious,
Maturity is glorious.
How merry
To have conversation hilarious!
Once in a while though days look rigorous,
That's when it is to my senses obvious,
To my thought serious
That you're famous
Surrounded by
Thousands of those
Marvelous.
Sigh I.
surrounded by beauty
in emergency!
i’m distant but i’m with those fighting for the right of the people of Indonesia
God, please help us.
❣️
If I were a scent,
I would be herbal.
If I were a scent,
I would be flowers.
If I were a scent,
I would be sandalwood.
If I were a scent,
I would be musk.
If I were a scent,
I would be sea breeze.
If I were a scent,
I would be mountain dew.
What other scents could
I become?
Floral?
Oriental?
Woody?
Fresh?
If I were a scent,
I would be anything that's
Loved to breath in by
You.
Ripples call you, Love
To go back home and sit still
Through questions and doubts.
ripples
i started learning spirituality from my father
that he made mistakes, yes but i still respect him as a human being who regretted his wrong doings then taught us how to dive in to the depth of our own selves
he was one of those teaching me that what we do is like an object falling on to surface of water; the heavier the gravity, the bigger and farther the ripples will occur
the volume and distance of the ripples will be affected by the weight of the falling object and also the stillness of the water….
…. analogically a still heart will be able to better catch subtle ripples than a moving heart can do
i hope i am gifted with good senses in a still heart so i don’t have to wait until something “bad” happens to stop my wrong/inappropriate actions/doings — in Javanese we can call it “janma limpad seprapat tamat”
Trace of a sweet heart
Resonates across the earth
With its clear fragrance.
ripples will not stop until edge of the lake and will reflect back to the source
Ripples of her love
Widely travel to the edge
Of the universe.
ripples
Zero's, Beloved
Count erased, leaving nothing.
Peaceful in motion--
shunya: zero, nothingness, void, emptiness, a state of awareness in which the mind is brought to complete stillness, perfect harmony, neutrality, peaceful calm
enso = shunya
many think zero is meaningless, which is wrong
it is a number that brings a lot of meanings
zero is an important number that enable mathematic to progress exponentially, it is a number between negative and positive, it enables formation of whole numbers and decimal numbers, it represents a place with no amount or value
good discussion today at lunch break with some jokes and wittiness
Living light, dear love
Gives her a flowing river
And peaceful meadow.
live a true life responsibly and lightly day by day is a great wisdom i found in this late 40’s — damn, i’ll be 50 by end of next year, yeah yeah! 💕
Three that cheer, dear self
Gather in a space to laugh
And plan other dates.
you can share our pic, just blur it, ok? 😎
done, ladies
gathering in SW’s apartment
my favourite ladies: they drink without getting drunk, i get drunk without drinking
all ranting and nagging about our getting older together; i love you, ladies❣️
past midnight (2am) kept us more awake
thank you, ladies; i need to catch the ferry this morning at 7:40 to be back to my work in Batam so i need to sleep soon — gather again next year either in Jogja or Taipei
one slice for three
sourdough from JC’s new bakery in Taipei 💕
Be balanced, dear my self.
Dance with the emotion within before finally it is trully proven that what’s without reflects what’s within, just like the achenes of dandelions fruit swaying until the Wind lands them at home.
No love is played as a game, it shall be true–
this is so sweet 💕
No doubt is playing.
She finds this journey blessing.
No more pretending--
‘ve never stayed in this hotel before, rather unusual but there is a blessing in disguise; the hotel room i’m staying has dandelions at one of its corner — i take it as a confirmation to all my prayer, i’ve got no doubt anymore about this journey 💕 the outcome though is not in my control
Look at nature's work.
Coloured, shaped, structured and timed.
I shout the delight.
walking through a site is fulfilling, i not only see how the environment is maintained but also capture how nature expresses her beauty freely and beautifully —
this mimosa is beautiful, said i
when i said beautiful, it is not precisely about the subject of discussion (mimosa), it is about how my mind labels the state of emotional response (to the mimosa) happening within me — the same emotion can be interpreted differently by other people based on their schemata, belief system, cultural and physical environment and other possible factors; when i am in bad mood, i might think that same mimosa as just weeds; when i don’t assign emotion to see my surrounding, i might not even regard the same mimosa
so i might never be as objective as expected by many, but definition of emotional labels is discussable and/or debatable and that is where communication will be lively if done with smiles (or laughter)
you’re beautiful 😘
These dreams are brewing,
Longing to see a meadow
Where flowers blossom.
heart is where the dreams brew before traveling to another heart that accepts them fully
only Wind can make it happen
thank you for giving me a lot of sleep recently so i can claim back my battery 💕
Just across the strait
Lies a land bringing old hopes
Swarmed by new dreamers.
this is my 1st Batam trip since 2020, i used to travel there every quarter for biz; when biz is off, ….. — Batam, be nice to me these next 3 days
I believe more and more young people will wake up and contribute to materialise the dreamed Indonesia, a country with sovereignty and dignity, free from “mice and pests” that destroy its essence, meaning and dignity.
MERDEKA!
Comfort zone's, dear self
A clear bubble waits to burst.
Life is just like that.
need warm soup for weekend comfort: veggies n sukiyaki beef in dashi stock, tempe + torch ginger — imperfect combination but i love both 😍
need a second helping of soup and fruit before back curling up in bed reading then hopefully falling to sleep
Pondering where this tiny love story means,
Counting breathing through hope in highs and lows.
In I breath fragrance of rose, out jasmine.
How beautiful! No one but a key knows.
The breeze sometimes softly shakes the heartbeat.
The river flows tampering a quiet mind.
The fire ignites a heart that longs to meet.
Under the drizzle the sun warmly shines.
Beloved, is it you she's waiting for?
Is it her you're letting in your grand throne?
The cloud hanging disguises sweet flavor,
Or the flavor is love and love alone?
Love is beautiful with cloudy sweet dream.
If time allows, rain stops, be shown sunbeam.
there’s a girl within falling in love, a woman without daydreaming of love
be real, woman! the girl is as true as your love itself
never doubt your heart; trust your life
Dirgahayu ke-79 Indonesiaku❣️
Maaf tahun ini tidak bisa ikut upacara. Tepar….
Rest assured, I love you. Soar and fly high, but get rid of those pests first — don’t wait too long, they are everywhere destroying your essence
See you soon❣️
my home country, where i was born and raised by my folks, someday i will be back and celebrate life there wholeheartedly 💕
i thank God everyday that i am born as an Indonesian who easily knows the meaning of blessings and abundance at the same time easily recognizes who takes away the blessings and abundance from the people
Wrap me, Beloved
With a blanket that calms down
And colours my heart.
today was a painful day, my emotion was so drained and i need a long battery charge before starting a new week — a thick blanket would be good
some days pull me too deep then suddenly kick me high abruptly or the other way round; i am now back to my grip ‘coz life is just like that
alhamdulillah
💕
Seems that the “Kiai Semar” piggy bank in my instastory has drawn hidden attention. My friend sent me a picture of ancient piggy bank saying “Are you still saving in celengan, don’t you have a bank account? Why so traditional?”
Arrgh! Should I tell people I save in the bank? It is something common to save in the bank because I need debit card to do all my financial thingy every now and then. How can I shop without debit card? And they think my debit card will just get impregnated with money without me feeding it? I am saving in the bank, my dear.
When said by a close friend in a normal situation, it feels ok. When said by a distant friend who has a rather unpleasant history, it feels rather ouch!
Anyway celengan (Javanese) is apiggy bank, a traditional container to save money.
What does celengan literally mean? Celengan is a Javanese word formed by celeng and -an. Celeng means boar or wild boar, –an is a suffix to form a word to be a Noun. Celeng itself is a Noun, celengan is a Noun to change the word celeng into another Noun with slightly different meaning. While celeng is wild boar, celengan means toy wild boar or a container in a wild boar form.
Why wild boar or celeng? As we know boar or wild boar is a family of pig. Maybe because pig is a symbol of luck, prosperity, wealth so people hope that by saving in a container formed like a wild boar they can be lucky and wealthy. I don’t think it is an original Javanese culture as Javanese didn’t originally raise it in the neighborhood. They got wild boar by hunting — remember the word “wild”. This might come from a culture where pig was domesticated and so became close to human beings’ daily activities.
By the time piggy bank is not in a form of pig or wild boar anymore. It can be in a form of chicken, frog, jar, etc including the Kiai Semar (a wayang character) that I bought in Kasongan, Yogyakarta. And the material can be from plastic, wood; while the original is terracotta.
Why am I ranting so long?
Sometimes liking it or not, I feel one word from one person can ruin my day in silence. It doesn’t matter, life is just like that. Why making that person so important that I get hurt by just random words from one? Forget it.
Thanks, celengan for making me even more relaxed after digging in the Japanese cuisine.
Weekend is here.
Please bless me with good time. Amen.
Have a good weekend!
ancient terracotta piggy bank for me
i wish to have a big one filled with gold — and some people will say “are you a gold digger?”
damn! if i am a gold digger, i won’t be here, i will have been in Japan married to the only son of a president of a company 😎
Relax, Beloved,
There's a place for victory
Other than fighting.
finding that Sunday evening i will be away, i changed my Japanese food craving to today, tomorrow will be my packing day for next two trips, reading and chasing wind
Friday’s message: just relaxxx and eat crabbb!
rike jokanan 
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