To Write About Someone – ranting

It’s been a while that I could not write long stories. Haiku has been my choice. It enables me to put my ideas into concise version of long winding contemplation.

Suddenly I want to write a long story about someone. Maybe about someone I’ve thought I know very well but in fact I don’t really. I often misunderstand about that person. About my mother….

But again, I don’t know if I can do it well…. I’m just blank.

Green grass and an ant
Is a dot on a paper sheet.
A real confusion.

Still preparing for a better thought.

Jakarta – October 6, 2017 – 23:42

Ant-1-700x400

Picture borrowed from http://www.themost10.com/intelligent-animals-2/

Super Woman

How would you describe a super woman?

Strong like Wonder Woman? Or, like Supergirl? Or whatever American heroines in Marvel comics and movies? That can defeat villains in one blow? What a perfect description. I can’t deny but I wouldn’t 100% agree with that.

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My mom is a super woman, with all these ups and downs she survives, even she can share in her lowest level of condition.

She has had debt because she had to send all her children to school. Some children of hers were still under her responsibility: financially.

But, she is as strong as rock! With all those trials, she can even melt herself into a beautiful character that would be carved as one of the most valuable pedestal in this life. She is so tough, so precious, she is just as popular as Mother Theresa. Indeed her heart is sacred as that saint from India.

Yet, she is as soft as seaweed…. Imagine how wonderful her touch is to my heart, to her children’s heart, pets’ heart, the heart of those needy she’s been helping, the heart of God….

Rock and seaweed: Both survive in the sea water.

Do you know what she has done?

She takes care of three cats – stray cats which now become healthy and sweet pets in our home – Greg (formerly Mr. Grey), Greek and Greece after Bob passed away. More than that, she is also “taking care” of the mice which would come at night eating the left over of food our family throw away just before we lock our doors. She does think that good deed will never be wrong.

Would probably update what she has done in the future for all of Readers in the world πŸ™‚

This might be something not highly special but my mom does that sincerely. Her love is always as true as her life.

I love you, ibuku…. Love live!

YCK Rd – May 20, 2014 – 1:17am

I Let You Go To The Other Side

Bob’s leaving us from this dimension is still a pain for me – small pain but big enough to make me feel emotionally burdened, overwhelmed and cry. And, it is now time for me to release more significantly because the way I mourn gave my lovely son a negative energy and made him walk insincerely to leave this dimension to the next level of his life – in the cat heaven, some best friends of mine said it.

So, I keep saying to myself that Bob is fine now. He is free from any physical pain and is ready to be embraced by the eternal love of guardian angels. Bob is ready to evolve to become my guardian and he can do it only by seeing me smile, by witnessing me letting him go, by sensing my releasing heart, by kissing him heavenly kisses. I shall not mourn anymore. I am not sad because he is leaving me, not because we are apart physically, not because the way he died…. I am not mourning anymore.

I told him….

Bob, go across the bridge. I know you need to go. You need to transform to be able to be my guardian. You belong to eternity. Angels are waiting for you with a crown and a pair of lovely wings…. I let you go…. I thank you for being my son. I am sorry if I did not take care of you all the time, but I love you…. My mom – Ibu – loves you as well… Please don’t be sad, smile…. Smile, my baby. Walk steadily, my son…. You can visit me and Ibu when you miss us. Just come to our dream, to our meditative level of brain. You may call us with your vibrating soul. Touch us, greet us gently like you kissed us, like you touched us, like you licked our skin, like you did in our contact….

I will still write about you…. For sure.

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Press your soft paws to our cheek so we know when you are around. Please meow softly to us so we know that you are around. Let’s keep this love and fill the air with it. Namaste….

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This song is for you, Bob….

“To Where You Are” (Josh Groban)

Who can say for certain

Maybe you’re still here

I feel you all around me

Your memory’s so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You’re still an inspiration

Can it be

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

And isn’t faith believing

All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

‘Cause you are my

Forever love

Watching me from up above

And I believe

That angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up

To where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile

To know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

I know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

…..

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Yio Chu Kang Rd – February 28, 2014 – 9:12pm

Sweet Memory Starts

My son Bob was a cat with soft heart. He would never quarrel except another cat attacked him. He would just groan and groan and groan but did not move from his spot. Only if the other tomcat jumped to him, would he fight to survive.

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He would have a lot of reason to manipulate me. He would kiss my forehead, my nose, my lips or my cheeks to wake me up from my sleep to get whatever he wanted: food, drink or door to open.

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Or, he would slip under my blanket to slew comfortably, only some time then he would climb out of the blanket and sleep above me. He would snore and spread his purring beautiful sound bringing peace into my small bedroom.

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When you grew older, you did not want to cooperate since you had better life outside with your fellow cats. You always scratched the door to go out and it was always at 1:00am…. But for the sake of love, I opened the door for you, Bob…..

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You loved perching on TV as if you were the God of (modern) Cat…. Lovely boy! You are always able to steal my heart, Bob.

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When you were sick, you didn’t moan. You just take a silent position and keep the pain in you. I could not help except giving you the best food and medication which was probably not really the best for you…. I tried hard to keep you next to me, your soul next to mine.

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Then I had to leave Indonesia to pursue my dream…. I cried happy but sad…. I was given a chance to make my self more experienced in life but then I had to leave you. Could I? Who would take care of you, Bob? I had to make a hard decision. I brought you to my mom’s house – she did not have a soft spot for pets indeed.

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I knew you were so sad, leaving your home…. But you trusted me that you would find another home. And, yes my mom fell in love with you.

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I visited you when I had time to sneak out of my hectic days – some leave or long weekend really helped us to meet up…. You looked happy, Bob. We had good time…. I fed you, stroked you, kissed you, hugged you, cuddled you, took picture of you, took care of your body which grew older….

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My mom always said “Bob is a human, he understands how to love, he is more loving than some humans who destroy others’ happiness. Bob has given us a lot of joy…. Thanks God for everything.”

He likes to daydream in the terrace, looking at the other cats that were enjoying his food left-over. Too much to throw away, good to share with other cats…. πŸ™‚

There was a time, we really got angry because of how people treat him. So cruel…. Beat him, splash him with water, hurt him in any way they like just because those neighbours hated cats. But Bob was too weak to counterstrike. He just went home with the wound then we would lovingly treated him until he got well. We loved you, Bob and we do and will always do.

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Then came a message that you were sick, puking all food you ate. Eating then puking two hours later; that was a pattern. My could not do anything. Nobody would help to take her to the vet. She lives in a village where people are busy taking care of their own poverty – there was no thinking of getting medication for animal.

Plus my mom was so busy taking care of my sick sister. I am sorry, my son Bob. We had been so occupied by our humane life that we did not take a good care of you humanely. I am sorry, we are sorry.

My mom said Bob stayed at home since Friday (Feb’ 21) until today when she found him dead on the floor of one cool bedroom – it is where I slept when I was still staying with my family. It is the coolest room in the house.

I don’t want to remember how he died. I want to remember how he lived.

He lived as a son of mine, bringing me joy and a lot of blessings. He has been sacrificing his free will to be my family member. He was so willing to share his pureness with us. He shared his sincere soul to grow among us. He inspired us with love and sincerity. He let himself be part of the madness of human in our life. You gave us love, Bob…..

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I released you with all my heart.

I heard a voice calling my name last night “Rike” and I just thought it was you telling me that it is time. You called me to give a sign…. I should not have been afraid, I should have remembered you who was trying to open the door “home”…..

Now you are home, Bob. It is the real home. Your body is buried but your soul is forever, here guarding me from any not-loving and insincerity. Thank you, son. Thank you for being flower of my soul. I know I am so heartsick, ibu* is so sad, too…. You know it, right? We know you know it. But you smile because it was your time. Time to go home, where we will also go to be together. Play, boy…. Play with the fragrance of flowers among the cats that can fly high to reach the Source without mourning.

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I am sad for I was not with you when you were dying. But I know you know how much I love you. The pictures above are tokens of our relationship son – mother of cat. Hope you care to share your joy with the other souls who have gathered in the other side…. Or, even you care to share with the Source how you have made us accept life as it is.

Bob, you are always in our heart. Even the sweet memories have just started on Feb’ 25 when I heard the message that the bodily Bob died and the soul is wrapped in silk and put in a pretty basket embraced by a pair of sacred angels to the heaven.

Jakarta (Grand Hyatt), February 25, 2014 – 10:21pm

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SEPI

Ada yang harus dikorbankan untuk mencapai keinginan.

Aku rela rindu
Pada ibu
Pada Bob, kucingku
Pada dua kakak perempuanku
Pada adikku
Pada kakak lelakiku
Yang di seberang segara….

Dan, pada bapak
Di alam sana….

Inikah muara pencarianku.
Menjadi perantau yang selalu rindu
Rumah….

Kugenggam erat mimpi
Jangan terlepas lagi.

Rindu ini kan tersampaikan
Dalam rangkuman doa,
Lantunan lagu,
Hembusan angin…

Sampai jumpa…

Temasek – tempatku dulu mengejar layangan πŸ™‚
19 Juli 2013 – 10:07 malam

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