rike jokanan

It never dies-- Love.
It sparks then sparkles; no end
But milestones to mark.

preparing batik for myself

will name this piece “life cycle of love”

Beauty Today

Learning, life, love, Poetic, This Person

What's beauty today?
Ants partying in some blooms
For sweetness of life--

no, I don’t want to focus on what I experience as bitterness too long

why should I age with heavy burdens if I can live in my second half of my life with light heart (that’s if I live 100 years)

I will see bitter day just as a bitter gourd for me to carve to be beautiful garnish or to cook in nice recipe; or better seeing it as bitter dark chocolate 😘

I just won’t let others play around as they love to tease others fr sport; no! My life is too precious to waste just for those who think life is fun when wasted with no clear design 🥰

Beauty Today

Beauty today, Love
Is about about colours and shapes
Softly touch the heart.

as close as I could, I felt a tap on my broken heart telling me “life is just like that, beauty lies on the tiniest part of your own heart, not others'”

at closer glance the colours gave me some soft touch on my heart who is longing for honest heart to talk about love, life with sufficient laughter

today I worked under a tamarind tree across a construction site and found a tiny beauty, a grass flower inviting me with its enticing colours

A Hope of Elden Soldiers

A hope that vanishes
With the forgotten true stories
Of the unsung heroes,
Those not buried with engraved tombstone

Dear, Elden Heroes
Who are taking a break from battles.
Wish us a basket of flower
Full of prayer summoning
The only thing left with Mother Earth:
Love that glows in the heart.
Wish us her love
That fades all selfishness away
Swiftly
Like the colours dissolve from a white fabric.
No trace of arrogance.
No trace of greed.
Only love.
Only care.
By everyone,
For everyone
Including 
The Elden Soldiers--

A poem for a piece of Mother Earth’s true love called Indonesia on her 80th birthday–

Thank you. You’re staying in this very heart that weeps for getting hurt over and over again yet keeping the trust in a journey called life.

💕

your promise to liberate your offspring’s life from all that occupy them was well done

would you say that what your offspring is doing to celebrate the victory is truly what you wished to be

dear, Elden Soldiers who have been either well-known or unsung….

There’s A Blocker

There's a basket of blockers
Called assumption
Built about me and you.
That everyone wants to be famous;
Forgetting that in different occasion he says all is love.

There's a basket of blockers
Called assumption
Built about me and you.
That you are untouchable by my love;
Denying that in different occasion she is in love.

There's a basket of blockers
Called assumption
Built about me and you.
That you belong to them and not me;
Claiming that certain human beings don't deserve the others.

dear Life, please give me what you call true love, not what is seen true love;

& life as light as feathers that can fly a bird,

life as deep as an underground chamber that keeps all secrets,

love that is free from any blockers except you between me and you

💕

Happy Birthday, Singapura

thank you for taking care of me 💕

You

I've read thousands of poems
In which all lines are started with
You.

I've recited hundreds of them
With which all rhymes are ended with
A you.

I've waited for a sonnet full of love
Through which my questions are answered by you. Yes,
You.

Have You?

Learning, life, love, Poetic

I've asked myself all my life:
Have you ever thought what this life is for?
You're born. You die.
You struggle. You cry.
You suffer. You rant.
You're full. You sleep.
You're fulfilled. You forget.
You're numb. You're silent.

If it's really
You that this life is about,
Am I really needed?
Am I really wanted?

Yet the echoes of the quest go on.
Your answers feel like algae converting light to feed my days with
Hope that you embrace me, with
Fear that it will end when I still owe you  promises.

I can't answer it clearly until today.

It becomes like a love story
In which falling in love is either inserted with broken-hearted acceptance or ended with broken hearted let-go.

That I live for
You, because of
You, in
You, through
You is a journey between a lover longing for the beloved who might care but care; who might love but hate, who might exist but not exist.

Have you ever thought what this life is for? I said yes and yes and yes to
You, and for
You.

Guidance

Amouge, Guidance – it’s about you guiding me to you

bought it when in Sydney

slided the box out of the outer cover

one of my best gift to myself – a scent that guides

Heart

My heart is a garden
Where flowers are nodding to butterflies and ladybugs
That need a ride to play.

My heart is a pond
Where lilies spread their pads to dragonflies and frog
That stop to meditate.

My heart is a cave
Where treasures are hidden from
eyes and ears
That crave for secrets.

My heart is an ocean
Where space is containing depth and width
That hug the abyss.

My heart is a home
Where songs are waiting for rhythms and rhymes
That long for a voice.

dear heart, be fragrant even when it’s around bad odor ♥️

Indonesia History, Hijacked?

Thank you for being so clear, Pak Peter.

Let It Fly

Dear, kind heart
Let it fly
To where dreams
Dance with mornings.

You

Learning, Poetic, Those People

Maybe it is you
That sits on every sea wave
Gently touching me--

A Door

Learning, life, Poetic

A door, Beloved
Your way I take to enter
The way of loving--

some people said to me directly and some indirectly “my way or no way”

my life is like one-way highway with no U-turn with which the choice is chosen by itself, go ahead and that’s it! when I choose my way, the way becomes bumpy and muddy and not safe,

so I’ve never really thought about my way

letting it be instructed through my heart and follow Life’s way

so when some ask “my way or no way”, I’ll smile and think

maybe those people’s life has been so easy and smooth that all their way is running without any interruption or alteration or even 100% negotiation

maybe

but I again just smile and try to understand while waiting whose way is winning

Camouflage

Hiding in colours
Quiet, before partying again
With the same colours--

I realised that someone can show the world what’s the opposite to be able to do whatever they like behind the stage.

A man said to a woman that his parents didn’t approve the marriage with her so that he could marry another her.

A man marry a woman hiding his true sexual orientation. Once married people think he is a sexually straight, ignoring that he is giving hell to the woman who blindly loves him.

Skeleton in the cupboards — No!

camouflage to be exact

Honesty saves everyone’s time.

🙃

Dear

Learning, love

Dear Life,
Thanks for the luck
That goes on
And on
Between your fingers
Caressing my hair
With love.

Gift

A gift, Beloved
Wrapped with a curled pink ribbon
For all that she loves--

my life is a gift that I share with those close around me

my gift might not be expensive but it’s the best I can present

when time is up, I hope all that I love will have received the blessing I silently promise to share with them

♥️

The Way

The way, Beloved
A way that is not one way
Made for everyone--

In the last discussion I said something unplanned. I just felt that it was the right way to say, to liberate the self that had refused to be molded or shaped with no consent.

“I feel that my journey has no pattern, I just flow, I’m always a human being in the making, I’m probably ever unfinished, always in progress”.

Today while doing the household chores, I’d been thinking if I really had no pattern. Brownian Movement, my favourite physical phenomenon that has always made me contemplate how random someone can be, is even seemingly random, yet it is statistically patterned; it’s just unpredictable. The zigzag movement will distribute particles evenly in the medium. Fabulous!

So of course I know I’m not that random.

Maybe I just need to sleep more to be more random. 🙃

the graph shows pattern

maybe I look like this to people not knowing me well & im ok with that ☺️

Karma

My biggest karma is not my family & closest friends.
It is being me in this very life,
With choices to make
And decisions to take.

Thank
You,
Life.

I’m the sunflowers that follow the sun, that will only stop moving when it sets.

Home

A home, Beloved
Where heart hums to see beauty
In just greenery--

this is where my long weekend resides (Jogja, where Mount Merapi & Prambanan Temple are pinned)

where I bike & walk in my free time, Singapore greenery

Changi Terminal 2, the airport that I mostly take off to fly out before always coming back to my second home, Singapore

Headache

Poetic

Headache, Beloved
Tiara with her gemstones
Glowing dignity--

I’d had headache for these past 3 days and no better even with the super meds called Paramex 🙂 I took one-day medical leave to meet the doc then on Friday I worked from home to gain more comfort while working.

I kept complaining until just now realizing that this was that I felt before; it was when I had a growth inside my brain untreated. The headache was significantly reduced (up to 99% by my gross calculation: from everyday to once in several months like this time).

How I thank God that this headache has tried reminding me that this time I feel so much better than before, the years of constant headache every single day.

Ah! Thank you!

Thank you for the realization that life shall have sickness to know that health is a true blessing. Then both sickness & health are blessings indeed.

Thank you!

if my headaches in those years to be exchanged with a head piece, I want a tiara with diamond & emerald – elegantly pressing the head for beauty & dignity

New Year

New year, Beloved
An open door with a smile
Keeping soul leaping--

welcome the new year of Javanese lunar year cum Islamic new year

The Sun

What if the sun never rises again?
I might also lose my sunflowers.
The yellow in my life fades away,
With the calming breathing at the end.

At least I love, Beloved,
At least I've loved
You so much.

Coffee Flowers

Coffee flowers, Love
It breathes what I long for much,
Poisons me with love.

coffee flowers – I used to see many at the backyard of my uncle’s house in Jogja

I loved breathing its fragrance every morning and afternoon when I had the time to stroll along the path

yet not as many now

I love breathing coffee fragrance but not drinking it as much

Clarity

Clarity, my love
Is silence that loudly says
About who you are.

some people talk about honesty as if honesty is falling hair of theirs – nothing but waste….

…. not because honesty doesn’t mean anything; yet because they claim being honest but actually lying.

once I thought you were this, and your signs said you were this until all birds then messengers coming saying that you are that….

honesty saves everyone’s time….

1) when honesty is about dishonesty

2) when it is the talking of the walk

3) when it is the walking of the talk

🙃

so clear to me, after meeting a friend yesterday

☺️

Fallen

Gravity, my love
Pulls me to Mother Earth's lap
To be just like her.

Weather

Weather is my boat
From one condition
To the next
Until I arrive
At my intended address
Where I greet flowers and fruits
Hanging so close to my hands.

my dream rambutan & starfruit

my dream climbing roses

Start The Day

Start the day, my love
With bright eyes and dancing tongue.
A day to excite--

a bowl of “pempek from Palembang & “sambal ijo” from Padang with a piece of boiled duck leg starting my day

time to clean the house & packing for tomorrow’s exciting trip 😍

A Gift