Traveling Tears

Poetic
Tears are millions of pairs of legs
That find their way to escape pain
And hide slowly by the heat of the day.
Will it be recognised?

Their journeys belong to this body
That grows old on a curve of age,
Born and died along one same line.
Will it be remembered?

Don’t be afraid to let the teardrops out
And release them with no doubt.
They won’t leave you for nothing.
They travel,
They evaporate.
They ship your baggage
That might be excessive if you carry them home at the same time.

Let the teardrops out
And celebrate them with no regret.
They will wait right in front of your home door.
They prepare a house warming for you,
They make your bed for you to rest.
They unpack all your luggage
That might tire you if you do it yourself at the same time.

Tears are millions of pairs of legs
That run to the ocean where you’ll unite with the Beloved
And never be lost again....

Cherish the tears!

A free verse from a heart that cries everywhere with no reason….

Temasek – Dec. 16, 2020 / 23:17

Bahasa Kalbu – richly interpreted song

Learning

Often time a song, a poem, a picture, a statement is interpreted differently with a wide spectrum of difference, even poles apart.

It seems to happen to a song entitled “Bahasa Kalbu” (The Language of The Heart) in the following video that to me has been always a very beautiful love story as in a Lover meeting the Beloved — a love that comes real; yet most of the comments to the song sung by Raisa uploaded in YouTube are very sad and triggering tears.

Yet I think that song is properly entitled as it can be interpreted as per what language is spoken by each heart. Not sure if that is the real interpretation of the song, or just the video clip that leads the viewers to think that way.

I like the version by the young talented gorgeous Raisa but I love much more the original version by Titi DJ though, it depicts a brightly falling in love vibe! I love to love!

May all beings be happy….

Sometimes

This Person, Those People
Sometimes it’s the place,
Always the people. Stay put.
None beats inner peace.

…. and the eternal flame of Soul once again ignites the understanding that gratitude on what’s given is much bigger than what’s promised.

…. and you can never get rid of me

Forever….

God is love?

Dog is love!

May all beings be happy.

Literacy

Poetic

How to read your signs?
My literacy is low,
Your language is high.
Send message, not breeze or wind.
Or else, this pin won’t move out.
pin position in chess

Not good at chess but I know this pin position is a basic knowledge in the game. Sometimes we’re put in this situation and just don’t know what to sacrifice to unpin.

May all beings be happy….

Every Best Day?

Poetic
When it’s the best. Yes,
It’s the best. When it’s the worst, 
It’s still the best. Yes?

—

Every day we’re tested by ourselves if we are able to see the best of all things. The success is to earn wisdom as foundation to build the next day.

May all beings be happy.

Don’t You Sense?

Learning

Don’t you see the leaping alphabets in every keyboard that you touch? That’s how many times I whisper your name, Love.

Don’t you hear the click of the second at the clock that you check now and then? That’s how often your name pops up in this mind, Love.

Don’t you smell the fragrance in every bite of apple you enjoy? That’s how intense the pain of remembering you, Love.

Don’t you taste the slight sour in every cup of coffee that you brew? That’s how I put a bit of you in all my prayer, Love.

Don’t you gently rub your temples of getting tired of thinking of routine puzzles? That’s how hard I think of you with thousands of failure, Love.

I doubt that you care the senses about me….

And you choose to travel afar, leaving traces of ignorance and mockery on me….

Go ahead, Love if that makes you find victory and create a crowd in your mind like a herd of elephants meet and greet happily….

Free verse from a singing heart of a Lover to the Beloved

Daffodils Symbolises Honesty (Not Wisdom)

Learning
Honest daffodils?
Or a taken-for-granted?
Self, observe. Don’t judge.
Bitter herbs or twigs, both work—
If you’re sick or you’re a jerk.

To ponder….

One feature of honesty is a physician giving bitter herb to take when one wants to drink sweetest soda; telling one the truth about what one has gone through and what’s the consequence in taking decision #1, #2 or #3. Man of wisdom….

Another feature of honesty is a child playing with a twig in one’s hand uncontrollably being happy, dancing around people and not considering that the twig in one’s hand has swiped or scratched others’ face or hands or bodies or torn clothes; craving to be understood and watched. Student of life….

On the first and for the second are just perspective. People around us declaring themselves honest or blunt can be either the physician or the child or even both at the same time; it depends on how we respond.

Observe, and see: a physician is those who will stay when you scream of the bitterness, a child is those who are cranky and leave you when you tell one to stop playing the twig that might hurt others.

May all beings be happy.

picture borrowed from https://florgeous.com/aster-flower-meaning/

Twisting Logic

Poetic, This Person
Wanna twist logic?
Learn foreign languages or
Backpack with no cash.

While the Arabic won’t twist my logic so much, the Japanese is a bit of a challenge ‘coz it is a brand new thing. Arabic has been a background play since I was young although I am only good at reading and writing. In fact, Japanese is totally a logic twist and takes some resource commitment if I want to achieve my target: intermediate level in all 4 skills (reading, writing, listening, speaking).

As electronic learning sources are not suitable for my eyes, I decided to boost my effort through traditional way: all paper-based. Books, cue cards, dictionary, etc…

Among all those tools, there is one that I am most impressed of: the karuta card. Not the uniqueness of the cards itself as cue cards are used in all language classes but more about the age of its existence that amazes me. It is a deck of playing cards aged back to 16th century, brought by the Portuguese sailors to Japan. Since then it has been a tool for fun game, fun learning and even competitive game.

Go search “karuta” that means card in Portuguese (in Bahasa Indonesia it is kartu), and you’ll find various webs explaining about karuta from its history up to how to play it.

Found two decks in Kinokuniya bookstore today together with dictionaries that will be a company for all children books in the reading list. Fun study yay!

Let’s get the ball rolling!

Taste of Life

Poetic, This Person
You define sugar,
I won’t. I prefer tasting
All, and tell myself.

May all beings be happy.

Enjoy your weekend…. 💐

Dark, Fragrant Beauty

Poetic

A bunch of roses,
Send this prayer as a gift
To those remembered
Through air, land, water, fire in
Dark, fragrant beauty. Amen.

I pray with flowers in a glass vase every week: reciting beautiful verses to those I’ve loved and remembered especially the ancestors, whispering unsaid love to those faraway, wishing they be happy everyday. Some people consider it ancient practice and not applicable or acceptable as modern but I feel more connected to my own self by doing it. So making it a habit

I love the dark mood of today’s flowers combined with my “sogan handmade batik”. It painted a shade of dark beauty with special fragrance and colour.

May all beings be happy.

Still You, Just

Learning, Poetic
You’re in the dark. Who?
What? Matter? Not! It’s still you.
Just some shade and light.

I’m never perfect, will never be as long as I live with and in this matter. There won’t be any absence of uncertainty. There is always a gap to bridge, a space in between, an emptiness after fulfilment…. Always between 0 and 1 – a binary system of wholeness I call it. Swinging like a pendulum from one point to another up to one extreme point before at the end of momentum thrown back to the next direction…..

Why would you stay in the day for 24 hours if you can stay cool in the dark for 12 hours after a long working day? Or the other way around with some reason?

Why would you mind missing someone for at least an hour a day if it can make this life more vibrant? Just don’t hate….

Why would you regret your broken heart as long as you don’t hurt anyone’s pride? Just don’t forget to love yourself….

No matter what and who you are some time of and in your life, you’re still you. Be you! Be more whole you every time…. A true you

May all beings be happy.

Mrs Fondue

Poetic

Good Swisss fondue is
Not about cheese, bread or wine.
It’s all chat and friends.

I missed one of my friends, Mrs Fondue whose face suddenly “flew around” for the past 2 months. Her number wasn’t active anymore. Called Mrs Fondue because she was the one introducing me to cheese fondue. Trying to contact people who worked around her with no result, I finally planned making cheese fondue and praying for her good.

Fondue was well served, not with the expected consistency but the taste is almost the same with my very first fondue in Cafe du Soleil.

Yet I could not enjoy this second fondue, even with air conditioner set to low temperature to bring autumn to this small living room. Still failed…. There was melancholic ambience striking me suddenly. No goosebump though 😁

The first fondue tasted greater than this. Maybe because I enjoyed it with Mrs Fondue who invited me to that “traditional” fondue cafe whose air was filled with warm laughter and greetings to the visitors.

This Mrs Fondue was an amazing yet unpopular lady, had done so much to help refugees from dangerous situation. We were amazed with what she and team did. Such a brave lady yet motherly and sweet she was!

She was a wise yet fun lady. She’s probably 15 years older than me but we could still chat like we were of the same age. Lucky to have met people like her in my life!

I’m praying for you, Mrs Fondue and family. If you are still here, I hope we still can see each other again. But if you’ve crossed the bridge, hope you’re smiling receiving my beautiful messages. Enjoy your fondue!

May all beings be happy.

You Can Read But Umm…

Poetic
I can read but I
Don’t know what I read and I 
Don’t stop ‘coz I like
What I read. Sounds strange but I
Like to read hidden meaning.

Reading is fun even if you don’t know the meaning of what is read. When learning a new language with totally different structure and alphabets from what you are fluently using everyday, the excitement is there. I was so excited when first time learning writing Javanese alphabets in my childhood and I mostly knew the meaning because Javanese has been my mother tongue; while Indonesian has been second (primary) language. Then Arabic gave me the second excitement when I was around 17. And now, Japanese gives me another excitement and a taste of frustration.

Mastering language is about internalising logical thinking of a culture, the logic of a nation. Why in one particular language structure a predicate is located at the end of a sentence while in the other it is somewhere else. This frozen brain has to work hard to know how Japanese digest facts and blend them into grammar. And all the sweet apology and courtesy all over the language now make me question if they are truly kind in heart or it’s just a muscle of articulation. Forget it. Just learn and know how to use it.

The excitement is here coz I read like a kindergarten student -loud, confident but dreadfully un-melodic”. Yet I love it! Even when I had to finish the super short story Ikkyu-San in 45 minutes. I keep mixing up among ne-re-wa, i and ri, nu and me… Good heaven! (Did I mean bloody hell?) Courtesy please 😂

I also have Yotsuba! for my next. But hey, that can only be started after reading Ikkyu-San smoothly with melody. When the melody and pace are right, read more books! Then get dictionary….

My colleagues in Japan already offered their free time to chat with me in Japanese when I’m ready. When? I don’t know…. 😂

May all beings be happy.

Sharing Or Not?

Learning, Poetic

At times you can share,
Others you shouldn’t. It may hurt.
Different point of view—


I haven’t shared food pics very often in Instagram since some good friends contacted and told me how hard it’s been for them to make ends meet in this pandemic.

One of them said he once had to lower down his pride by agreeing to receive a donation from Australia to feed his wife and children. Sad….

Another said to me “Oh, how nice to have time and cook whatever you wanna eat. Hope we can have that privilege.” I was shocked when she said that as what I had known she had a very good tourism business, and now I knew that she got tremendously affected by this pandemic. Tourism has been hard hit in this period of time.

Not one or two but many came to me to borrow money to survive their business. Double sad! I had to apologise and politely refused to help. Just last year I started limiting lending cash to others. Not that not trusting people but yeah I have been cheated financially by those called friends. Ya, I was stupidly generous and irresponsibly stupid 😂 It should come to an end.

So, with all those reducing showing food pictures in Instagram is the best I can do to help. It is to clear up the jealousy and also to look ordinary. People think you have much money when you eat well. They never know how hard you work for the food on the plate.

May all beings be happy.

Loved By Nature

Poetic
Mr Squyrrell came,
Winked then said “Loved by nature”.
She asked “yours or mine?”





Up to us to think of “loved by Nature” or “loved by nature”; maybe it’s everybody’s 





May all beings be happy.

			


	


			
				


	

		
		
Lovin’ Ma Bike

		
Poetic, This Person, Those People
	


	

		






Lil knoz ‘bout a gal
Bikin’ crashin’ co’nut tree
Laughed and helped at once





Remembering what you did in childhood is like watching cartoon movies, entertaining and energizing. How painfully the bad time was brought to you, when recalled, it brings a good smile back to your face.






When I was a girl, I loved riding bike. Often time racing with no one just with my beloved red one, enjoying the wind as if I was the queen of the road. Old people knew I was one of the careless.





One day  I took off hands from the handlebars to clap hands singing along. Stupidly… No… Excitedly! Thought I was good enough as a bike rider. So, the wind took control of the bike in high speed as we were sliding from a sloping edge. We crashed into a coconut tree in front of neighbour’s house. It was my first bloody accident in life and not the last for sure 😊 I was lucky to live in a community who believed that children of the neighbourhood were the responsibility of all… 





By then bike and I always met our rescuers. Now I won’t, so I ride bike wisely…. 😁 So far only one mudguard wheel was gone because of one silly accident —an irresponsible electric scooter didn’t want to slow down and forced me to get stuck to the side of the bike way pushed us to a tree. Hope no accident anymore 👍🏽

Nothing happens for no reason. Always be happy how much ever life sprinkles bitter to your plate. Hope all become good memories when we see it from later time.





May all beings be happy.











			


	


			
				


	

		
		
About Flowers

		
Poetic
	


	

		






What about flowers?
Colours, fragrance, shapes, and mood
Wrapped in a prayer.







Singapore – November 20, 2020 / 00:10

			


	


			
				

			
				


	

		
		
Red Betel Vine

		
Poetic
	


	

		






By red betel vine
She paints a poem through canvas
Message in a frame.





I’m romantically cheap as I can change all things into love message (to myself and the one that I care so much although secretly) to earn my own satisfaction and to calm inner storm. Gradation of emotions: heavy to light, colourful to dull, abrupt to flowing, all to serve equilibrium to what and who are dealing with me.





A betel vine in a small pot and my remembrance of red betel vines at my best friend’s backyard has drawn me to a flowing river of loving emotion that I realise existing constantly in heart.





All the leaves in my imagination turn to love that has lived generation to generation like leaves lining along the betel vine.





20% of the completion is here, already makes me overwhelmed with the deep love that I always have inside.





May all beings be happy.











			


	


			
				


	

		
		
Red Carnations

		
Poetic, This Person
	


	

		






Through red carnations
She says goodnight, sleeps away
In his bright morning.







May you be happy in your bright morning.

			


	


			
				


	

		
		
Light Upon Light

		
Poetic
	


	

		

Unexplained splendour
Stirs the abyss of my soul. You’re
A light upon lights.





Happy Diwali to all friends celebrating it.





Happy me in this long weekend. May all beings be happy.











			


	


			
				


	

		
		
Classes In Pandemic

		
Poetic, This Person, Those People
	


	

		






What a given time!
Fluency and artistic test,
All measured and timed—





—-





This working from home has given me less travel time and automatically much shorter time for its preparation and unpacking etcetera. This should be well used, too as without it my sleeping disorder has caused a lot more trouble than before so I decided to take some online courses that have sprung like mushroom in rainy days.





I took some online courses in Udemy and some other course centres that offer more rigorous online courses during this pandemic. In Udemy I took massage class for baby, root cause analysis, project management, and so on and so forth — those are done independently, just read and listen to some lectures and do some test with or without certificates. The other two are language classes: Japanese and Arabic. 





Why do I chose those courses? All that I took are all that I need.





Ayurvedic massage for baby? Don’t laugh! I am inspired by Yu Yat, my late baby sitter and “second mother”. She was the one taking care of me since I was a red baby until I reached 12 years old before I could take care of myself, while my parents were extremely busy as civil servants. In her late life my baby sitter continued her mother’s professional legacy as a baby masseuse – Javanese baby massage. I visited her everyday whenever I spent holiday in mother’s home. Seeing her handle the babies was my favourite and I told her that I wanted to be a baby masseuse like her and she said “You can but why do you have to? You have a very good job and you might not have time to do it.” She was right and it was forgotten for so many years but inspiration never dies – and so I took an online class. I plan to practice it when visiting my mother’s town after pandemic, Yu Yat’s sister in law continues the profession so I can “borrow one client baby”. Hope it is a success. Who knows I can be a baby masseuse in my retirement time. Yay!





The other classes are all things related to my jobs, I am “sharpening my claws”. Wicked lady! Haha!





And the language classes? I need them to better the quality of life. Japanese? I do communicate with Japanese whose English is mostly not up to my par — not all but most. The way they express their idea in English has either confused or annoyed me. And when I interacted with those guys I found at times they were laughing at me – bloody hell I don’t like to be laughed, men! I checked with the people working for me yes those men were laughing at me not to underestimate me but just because they don’t feel easy with a woman being so authoritative and open. Oh my! What is a female employee supposed to do at work differently from the male? Washing their coffee mugs or polishing their shoes? So I promised that I will at least understand Japanese and know when they laugh at me so that I can scold at them. 😁 No, no, I just want to make my conversation with them at ease. Japanese men are the most insecure male creature I’ve ever met on earth so I understand why they behave like s***** people sometimes. And, who knows I can write my first haiku in its original language someday? Yay!





Arabic language? I did learn for two years when I was young and I think I still need it so I am not cheated with wrong conception of religious thought. I have to know what the book is exactly saying as the translated version of Quran (into other languages) is never pure translation, they are all interpretation that have driven the reader to a certain opinion that will lead people to irresponsible actions at times. So with one of my best friends I took an online course. We both always want to be free thinkers with basis! Not much target – intermediate level is ok.





One more to go…. I want to join Jewelry making course and Asian herb course. Maybe I can make Jewelry and herbal drinks when I retire later.





I am so thankful that I’ve got time to develop myself in such a way. I’m not happy with this pandemic though, please don’t get me wrong….





But yeah, sometimes I juggle with the homework of the language classes. The teachers are killers! 😁





May all beings be happy….

			


	


			
				


	

		
		
Bengawan Solo – favourite

		
Learning
	


	

		

This song is one of those in my top rack! Nothing can beat Bengawan Solo. God bless you, Pak Gesang.





When a baby is born, s/he is “accompanied” by placenta. In Javanese culture the placenta should be either buried in the home where the baby will stay in his/her first 40 days or floated to the sacred river, both with sacred small ceremony. Mine was floated (larung in local language) in Bengawan Solo, the longest river in beloved Java island. If you Google “Bengawan Solo”, you’ll find a Singaporean bakery – hell yeah! Not making me much happy as that phrase has lost its authenticity. I’m not so upset though as at least I have a favourite place to buy “traditional Javanese cakes” (some claimed as Peranakan though – never mind anyone can claim anything with power) at the same time relating it to my favourite song and where “my brother placenta” was floated.





I miss the land where I can smile to anyone without being called weird…. My dear Java island.





I found some versions hitting the mood so damn gracefully! Enjoy.





May you all be happy.




























			


	


			
				

			
				


	

		
		
Keep The Glass Empty

		
Learning
	


	

		

The wine bottle is still full,
The wine bottle opener is being prepared, 
Then she keeps her glass empty.

The wine bottle opener is ready,
The wine cork is severely damaged,
So she keeps her glass empty.

The night is almost down,
The guest hasn’t come,
Yet she keeps her glass empty.

She thinks something is wrong,
She doesn’t know the guest got an accident and died,
And she still keeps her glass empty.

			


	


			
				

			
				


	

		
		
I Miss Office

		
Poetic
	


	

		

Do you miss office
Where sadness is forgotten
And turned to life goal?






I was granted a 1-day access to my dear office and the feel was so great, almost like first day joining the company. The excitement was so real. I scanned the badge for the first time again since March when the circuit breaker was applied due to the pandemic. Thanks to a special task that I was allowed to work in office from 8am to 5:30pm.





Covid-19 counter measure is everywhere: notices, labels, stickers of social distancing, number of meeting participant in a room, no eating and meeting only, don’t use this seat, stand here around elevator doors and other doors where people possibly queue, temperature checking, barcode scanning, etc. It is so different as if entering a new place esp with some renovation going on and new products photos on the walls. Indeed refreshing and mood boosting after some months of distance from it.





Although I didn’t work at my work station this time, I didn’t miss the chance to visit the desk at a corner. A small desk with some small stuff, vase for flowers or plants, hello kitty to hug when it is too cold, a plaque from the leader, and a cape to wrap the body (also when it is cold).





I wish to be back to office. Early next year? Not sure but staying one day there has been a good time that gives me reasons to stay excited about humble life.





May all beings be happy.